| >>>
Subj: Amish Jokes (Includes 9 jokes and articles, 27715n,3,cf) |
Amish Cart from The Amish and the Plain People |
Also see COMPUTERS4 - 'Amish
Virus'
=============================================================Top
| Subj:
Amish Paradise (S489)
From: From: LABLaughsClean on 6/1/2006 |
 |
Vary nice, music video that you
can see at the source above,
or on my web site by clicking
'HERE'.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Signs
Your Amish Teen Is In Trouble (S229, DU)
From: tadams96 on 2/21/2001
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6am.
9. In his sock drawer, you find
pictures of women without
bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."
4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
3. Uses slang expression: "Talk
to the hand, cause the
beard ain't
listening."
2. Was recently pulled over
for "driving under the
influence
of cottage cheese."
1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Amish
Lady's Buggy Stopped By Cop (S226, DU)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #258 on 98-07-02
and
From: thebartend on 5/18/2001
An Amish lady is trotting down
the road in her horse and
buggy when she is pulled over
by a cop.
"Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket
you, but I do have to issue
you a warning. You have
a broken reflector on your buggy."
"Oh, I'll let my husband know as soon as I get home."
"That's fine. Another thing,
ma'am. I don't like the way
that one rein loops across the
horse's back and around one
of his balls. I consider
that animal abuse. That's
cruelty to animals. Have
your husband take care of that
right away!"
Later that day, the lady is home
telling her husband about
her encounter with the cop.
"Well, dear, what exactly did he say?"
"He said the reflector is broken."
"I can fix that in two minutes. Anything else?"
"I'm not sure, something about the fucking emergency brake..."
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Amish
Mother And Daughter (S239b, S671)
From Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97
and
From: oiawh on 8/29/2001
(See 'Young
Couple Goes To Mountains' in BODY_PARTS)
| An Amish woman and
her daughter were riding
in an open buggy one cold blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, "My hands are freezing cold." The mother replied, "Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up." So the daughter did and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was
riding in the
|
 |
Next day the boyfriend is driving
in the buggy with the
daughter. He said, "My
nose is freezing cold." The
daughter said "Put it between
my legs, it will warm up."
He did and his nose warmed up.
The next day the boyfriend is
driving again with the
daughter and he said, "My penis
is frozen solid." Later
that week, the daughter is driving
in the buggy with her
mother. She says to her
mother, "Have you ever heard of
a penis?"
Mother says "Sure why do you
ask?" The daughter says,
"Well, they just make one hell
of a mess when they thaw out!!"
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Amish
Family Visit A Mall (S35, s611)
From: Dickschu on 5/11/2005
and
From: hellgunner50 on 9/22/2008
An Amish boy and his father were
visiting a mall. They were
amazed by almost everything
they saw, but especially by two
shiny, silver walls that could
move apart and back together
again. The boy asked his
father, "What is this, Father?"
The father responded "Son, I
have never seen anything like
this in my life, I don't know
what it is." While the boy
and his father were watching
wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel
chair rolled up to the moving
walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady
rolled between them into a small
room. The walls closed
and the boy and his father watched
small circles of lights with
numbers above the walls light
up. They continued to
watch the circles light up in the
reverse direction. The
walls opened up again and a beautiful
24 year old woman stepped out.
The father said to his son, "Go get your Mother."
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
Subj: Short
Amish Jokes (S239)
| Subj:
Amish Laugh - Cartoon (S433)
From: LABLaughsCleann on 5/13/2005 |
 |
Top
Subj: Amish
Vehicle (S426b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 3/18/2005
While driving in Pennsylvania,
a family caught up to an Amish
carriage. The owner of the carriage
obviously had a sense of
humor, because attached to the
back of the carriage was a
hand printed sign... "Energy
efficient vehicle: Runs on oats
and grass. Caution: Do Not step
in exhaust."
Q: What goes clip clop clip clop
bang bang bang clip clop clip clop?
A: Amish driveby.
From: CatScratch on 3/7/2002 (S267c)
Q: What do you call an Amish
guy with his hand
up a horse's ass?
A: A mechanic!
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
 |
Happy Amish from
Time to Discover Ohio |