(Includes 13 jokes and articles, 21828n,2,cf)
German flag from
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Two
Germans Have Head On Crash'
CARS3 file - 'Germans Buy German Cars In USA'
DOCTOR2 file - 'Doctor Gets Nurse Pregnant'
ELDERLY4-SUPP- 'A Group Of Elderly Tour Holland'
ENGLISHMAN - 'European Heaven And Hell'
FACTS3 file - 'New Airport Managers'
GAMES-SUPP - 'The German Game DrunkWalk'
MUSIC file - 'Mozart Dies'
......................- 'Britney Spears Scares Wild Boars'
.........OTHER-OCCUP - 'The Clock Repairman'
PILOT-SUPP - 'The US Bomber And The German Fighter'
POLISH file - 'German, American, And A Pollack
.............................Sentenced To Guillotine'
PREGNANT file- 'German Couple Wanted To Have A Baby'
QUOTES-CMD-SP- 'Crazy World by Chris Rock'
REDNECK-SUPP - 'Three Nationalities In A Sauna'
SCHOOL3 file - 'Teaching German'
SCIENCE2 file- 'Archeologists f/Three Countries Dig'
SLOGANS-PRVBS- 'German Proverb'
SOLDIER-SUPP2- 'The Great Escape - Tunnel Revealed'
TRAIN file - 'Hiding In The Train Bathroom'
TREES file - 'Gang Holds Trees Hostage'
Miniature Wonderland: Largest Model Railway (S719)
on 10/28/2010 (in Trains)
This is a video of Miniatur
Wunderland in Hamburg, Germany.
It is the largest model railway in the world and one of
the most successful permanent exhibitions in Germany.
Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
is amazing, model railroad.
Subj: Train to Mannheim (S705)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #110 on 98-05-06
One day a man took the train
from Paris to Frankfurt. When he
got in he said to the ticket man:
"Sir. I really need you to do
me a favor, I have to get on this
train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I
will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me
up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it
is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the
favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get
really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to get
me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?"
So the ticket man agreed and
took the 100 francs. Later as the
man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized
that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man that
he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man.
"Are you STUPID or something???
I paid you 100 francs so that
you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn't I want my money back
While the man was yelling at
the ticket guy, two other guys
that were also in the train were looking at them, so one turns
to the other and says to him:
Guy1, "Look at this guy he is pissed!"
Guy2, "Yeah, almost as mad as
the guy they made get out of the
train in Mannheim."
Subj: Hypnotic Freedom
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98
Richard Helms, assistant director
of the Central intelligence
Agency, tells the story of the communist hypnotist who put on
a performance in East Germany. Selecting a meek looking
worker from the audience, he convinced the subject that he
was suffering, in turn, from thirst in the Sahara and
shivering with cold in the Artic. There was great applause.
Then the hypnotist told his subject:
"The worst thing of all has now
happened to you. You have
fled the protection of the communist people's republic and
are in West Berlin. You are hungry, penniless, ground down
"Snap me out of this one," interrupted
the subject, his eyes
still closed, "and I'll break your neck!"
Subj: Short German Jokes
German Parking Garage (S485)
Subj: The World Is Going Crazy (S319)
From: JBCARY1 on 3/13/2003
(See 'Crazy World by Chris Rock' in Quotes-Comed-Supp)
You know the world is going crazy when...
the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy,
and Germany doesn't want to go to war.
From: firstname.lastname@example.org on 12/26/2001
About 100,000 people submitted their favorite jokes as
part of a massive experiment called Laughlab. Here, the
"Why is television called a medium?
Because it is neither
rare nor well-done."
In Salzburg, Germany, any child born on August 18th must be
tested for possible witchcraft. This is due to a local legend
that an evil warlock was born on that day in 1638.
How did Hitler tie his shoes? In littel nazi's -- William Noah
From: collins2 on 5/31/99 (S130)
Average number of days a West German
goes without washing his underwear: 7
From: igiggle on 6/16/2003 (S333b)
You can always reason with a German. You can always
reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good
it does. -- P.J. O'Rourke
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #240 on 98-04-15
Q: Did you hear about the new German Microwave Oven?
A: It seats 500.
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/18/2003 (S333b)
Q: What do they call condoms in Germany?
Q: What is the German word for
From: DafterLafter on 10/27/2004 (S406b
Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German Shepherds.
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