Subj: Latin and Greek Jokes
(Includes 25 jokes and articles, 30 1012,5,cf,wXT3,3)
Joseph's Free Stuff
Also see GREEK file - 'Socrates'
Triple Filter Test'
HOOKER2 file - 'A Dick Named Caesar'
JEWISH3 file - 'The Taylor' - Video
Subj: Pickles Comic Strip (S1012)
By Brian Crane on 06/30/2016
Dead Poet's Society - Carpe Diem
On 8/6/2009 (S657,cf,md4,2)
In this great movie clip, Robin
Williams explains the
Latin phrase "Carpe Diem". Click 'HERE' to see this
||In this second clip from
Robin Williams delivers one of his most
memorable performances in Dead Poets
Society as a student learns to create
Subj: The Death Of Caesar (S530c)
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 3/14/2007
It's a little known fact that
Julius Caesar did not die
from stab wounds by Brutus, but, rather, was poisoned.
During a sumptuous banquet which they both attended on
that fateful Ides of March, Brutus slipped some poisonous
hemlock leaves onto Julius' salad. (Thus making the world's
first Caesar's salad - no, that's not the joke, wait for it.)
When Julius slumped over into
his salad, Brutus feigned
concern and asked, "My dear friend Julius, how many hemlock
leaves have you eaten?" To which Julius gasped in reply:
"Ate two, Brute."
Subj: 'When Was Rome Built?' (S431b, S632)
From: LABLaughs on 4/29/2005
Marilyn, the teacher, asked her
5th grade history class,
"When was Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer
"Rome was built at night." was his answer.
"At night?" asked Mrs. Taylor,
holding her ruler firmly
in her boney-knuckled hands. "How ever did you get such
"Well," gulped the student, hoping
his answer would satisfy
her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."
Subj: Frazz Comic Strip (DU)
By Jef Mallett on 4/16/2009
Subj: Helpful Little Known Latin Phrases (S75)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #167 on 98-07-06
Die dulci fruere.
Have a nice day.
Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane
Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog.
Si hoc signum legere potes, operis
boni in rebus Latinus
alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!
If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the
fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!
Sona si Latine loqueris.
Honk if you speak Latin.
Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum
Don't you dare erase my hard disk!
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam
omnem mihi dabis, ad caput
tuum saxum immane mittam.
I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an
enormous rock at your head.
Gramen artificiosum odi.
I hate Astroturf.
Furnulum pani nolo.
I don't want a toaster.
Sentio aliquos togatos contra
I think some people in togas are plotting against me.
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.
Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo.
Don't call me, I'll call you.
Cave ne ante ullas catapultas
If I were you, I wouldn't walk in front of any catapults.
Canis meus id comedit.
My dog ate it.
Illiud Latine dici non potest.
You can't say that in Latin.
Vidistine nuper imagines moventes
Seen any good movies lately?
Nullo metro compositum est.
It doesn't rhyme.
Non curo. Si metrum non habet,
non est poema.
I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't a poem.
Fac ut gaudeam.
Make my day.
Braccae illae virides cum subucula
rosea et tunica
Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!
Those green pants go so well with that pink shirt
and the plaid jacket!
Visne saltare? Viam Latam Fungosam
Do you want to dance? I know the Funky Broadway.
Re vera, potas bene.
Say, you sure are drinking a lot.
Utinam barbari spatium proprium
May barbarians invade your personal space!
Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant!
May conspirators assassinate you in the mall!
Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam
May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy!
Subj: Short Latin Jokes
Subj: Marcus Tullius Cicero Quote From 55 B.C. (S733)
From: Carfal on 1/29/2011
"The arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled,
and assistance to foreign hands should be curtailed, lest Rome
Peanuts Comic Strips (DU)
By Charles M. Schulz on 8/21/2009
From: RFSlick on 98-12-09 (S99)
VENI, VEDI, VISA: I came, I saw, I did a little shopping.
From: LABLaughs.com on 10/5/2002 (S296b)
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
-- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
From: LABLaughsClean on 9/13/2004 (S452b
"The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen
for girls and thirty-seven for men." -- Aristotle.
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/17/2006
"The best political community is formed by citizens of the
middle class." -- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Politics
From: LABLaughsClean on 9/17/2009 (S662b)
"We make war that we may live in peace."
From: igiggle on 1/13/2005 (S416b -
By learning you will teach; by teaching you will learn.
-- Latin Proverb