(Includes 53 jokes and articles, 18853n,27,cf)
Click "Here" for Asian-Supp
Indian flag from
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Falling
.........ARAB file - (see whole file)
BANKING-SUPP - 'Currency Exchange At Bank'
BASEBALL-SUPP- 'Amazing Japanese Pitch' - Movie
BREAST file - 'Curing Infertility In India'
CAMEL file - 'Sex Like A Camel'
COLLEGE2 file- 'Computer Science Majors In College'
COMPUTERS4 - 'If Error Messages Were In Haiku'
DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Pumping In Thailand'
DENTIST file - 'Buddhist Has Root Canal'
DOCTOR3 file - 'Heart Attacks'
DRINK_BR-SUPP- '3D Sapporo Beer Ad' - Movie
ELDERLY2 file- 'Old Man And Punk Rocker On A Bus'
ENGINEER3 - 'Ten Japanese Bridges'
HARLEY file - 'Texting on a Motorcycle In India'
HOSPITAL2 - '18 Year Old India Girl Has Pain'
JEWISH1 file - 'A Rabbi And A Korean On A Plane'
JEWISH2 file - 'Samurai Contest'
LAWYER2 file - 'Exporting Lawyers To Japan'
MIDDLE EAST - (see whole file)
NUDIST file - 'India Women Plough Fields In Nude'
OTH-ANIM-SUPP- 'Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium' - Movie
OTHER_SPORTS - 'Burning Soccer Fan'
PILOT file - 'The Greatest Pilot in WWII'
POLICE-SUPP2 - 'Filipino Traffic Cop Doing His Job' - Movie
PREGNANT file- 'Granddaughter Born In Japan'
QUO-COMED-SUP- 'Comedian Dan Nainan' - Movie
REDNECK-SUPP - 'Three Nationalities In A Sauna'
SCHOOL3 file - 'Japanese Student's First Day'
SHIPS file - 'Japanese American Boat Race'
SOLDIER1 file- 'Large Pakastani Unit Meets Indian Soldier'
SOLDIER-SUPP - 'Busy Radio Operator In Korea'
STARTREK_SPC2- 'Invisibility Cloak'
THOUGHTS LRN2- 'The Dalai Lama Says'
Japanese Sword-Fight Pits
.............Man Against Shadow (S737)
From: Wimp.com on 2/21/2011
Gorgeous, almost dream-like battle
between a swordsman
and the shadows. I cannot imagine the choreography
and practice necessary to make this happen. You can
see this small story evolve with no words, and just a
masterful execution of basic special effects and timing.
Click on any of the above sources, or 'HERE' for my
copy, to see this awesome video.
Arranged Indian Marriage Commercial (S714 in Wedding-Supp)
This video poking fun at the
Indian marriage tradition.
Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
this quite funny, DSTV commercial.
Johnny Carson Takes A Japanese Bath
on 8/3/2010 (S707 in Movies2)
From The Tonight Show w/Johnny
Carson on February 16, 1968,
Johnny Carson's (and Don Rickles') Japanese bath excursion.
Carson often screened this footage during his anniversary
shows; however, it is rarely seen in its entirety. Click
on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see this very
Origami Hang Gliders (S700b)
Teaching middle school students
to make origami hang
gliders is a great activity. This video is just Part 1.
the introduction. To see Part 2, the construction
details, and templates go to Source3. Click on any
of the above sources, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
this intro video.
Unusual Origami Method (S688)
From: www.TED.com on 3/23/2010
Photo from YouTube.com...
Robert Lang is a pioneer of the
newest kind of origami --
using math and engineering principles to fold mind -
blowingly intricate designs that are beautiful and,
sometimes, very useful.
Click on either source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to learn
how origami relates to space telescopes and heart surgery.
This eighteen minute talk is amazing. Someday origami
may save your life.
Wall Riding In India (S687)
From: Wimp.com on 3/16/2010
and From: YouTube.som
Crazy Indian drivers are riding
cars and bikes round and
round on a wall in a dome like in a circus, 90 degrees
from the ground!! The two sources are different videos.
You can view the video at their sources, or at my two copies.
click 'HERE' for my copy
click 'HERE' for my copy
Asian Paper-Scissors-Rock (S540c,d)
The intensity of some of the
Asian cultures is amazing.
Have a look at this asian guy who is "beating" the women...
very funny and strange... why do they play this game in TV?
You will enjoy this short movie at either the source above,
or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Indians Drink "Divine" Sea Water (S501c)
From: Khaleej Times 19-Aug-06
From: jerry on 8/20/2006
News article from a newspaper.
MUMBAI - Thousands of Indians
drank from a murky Arabian
Sea creek after news spread overnight that its water had
miraculously turned sweet and could cure illnesses, police
said on Saturday.
About 5,000 people gathered at
the creek in India’s biggest
city of Mumbai overnight, and many of them were seen
drinking the dirty water with their palms, they said.
“Sweet seawater, this is a miracle.
This water is divine,”
Sheikh Naseer, a Mumbai resident, told a local TV news
channel. He was also shown giving a young boy a bath in
the creek’s murky waters that receive thousands of tonnes
of sewage and industrial waste every day.
Some people carried seawater
away in bottles and plastic
bags, saying they were going to share it with their families.
Children as well as adults bathed in the murky water in which
garbage and plastic were seen floating.
Police said the news spread after
some fishermen tasted the
water and found it sweet and told local residents about it.
“There has been a mad rush to the creek. There is a dargah
nearby and people felt this is something divine,” said S.
Kumar, a police officer, referring to an Islamic mausoleum
in the area.
But police stepped in and stopped
people from going to the
creek on Saturday after authorities and doctors warned that
the water could be polluted and drinking it could be dangerous.
Mumbai’s civic officials said
the water could have temporarily
lost its salinity due to several reasons, including pollution
and inflow of freshwater from a nearby source.
“We have collected a sample of
the water and sent it for
testing,” a city official said, adding that the water in the
creek had returned to being saline.
Last year three people drowned
in the Arabian Sea off Mumbai
after thousands of people made a dash for a beach where
diamonds were rumoured to be washing ashore.
Khaleej Times (Dubai) 19-Aug-06
TV Tetris In Japan (S546)
The Japanese are so weird, and
yet, so awesome. This
25,000 KB movie is big, but too good to not put on my
site. You can view it at the source above, or on my
site by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Passage To Adulthood in Thailand (S476)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/20/2006
In Thailand, when a male reaches
the age of 18 they are
invited to participate in a ceremony of passage to adult-
hood, which is celebrated in the center of the village,
surrounding the central fire and attended by the all the
natives in residence, and accompanied by considerable
consumption of food an drink amid singing, dancing and
all manner of joyous festivities.
At the appointed time the native
boys that are reaching
maturity are formed into a large circle around the fire
and stand there motionless and stark naked facing
inward towards the fire.
Then, accompanied by a haunting
musical rendition of
native music, the most beautiful girl in the village is
honered to perform a sexy dance, naked, around the inner
Behind each boy is a naked native
girl that he cannot
see.. As soon as all the males are excited and have
erections, the girls behind them reach between their
legs, and pull their erect unit downward and back
through and then on a signal all release them.
Their units spring back up and
go loudly "WHAP"
against their bellies. This is considered measurement
of their strength and of youthful masculinity.
And that's why the capital of
Thailand is called
Brick Laborers In Bangladesh (S621c)
From: tom on 12/1/2008
Movies like this one remind me
of how little I know
about the world outside of the USA. This video is
amazing. Click 'HERE' to view it.
Subj: Pakistani Arrives In America (S425b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/15/2005
A Pakistani arrives in Houston,
Texas. All excited, he
stops the first person he meets. "Good day, Mr. American,
thank you to accept me in your nice country, and..."
The person interrupts and says:
"I am not American, I'm
The Pakistani continues on his
way and meets another
passer-by: "Thank you Mr. American for to let my family
and me stay here..."
Again, he is interrupted before
finishing his sentence:
"American, no !! Mexican National. See, still wet....."
The Pakistani continues on his
way and meets another
passer-by: "Mr. American, me thank you for hospitality
"But my friend, don't you see
that I am black? I am African,
"But", answers the Pakistani
distressed, "where are the
The African looking at his watch
and says: "Oh, they all
work 'til five o'clock
Japanese Mall Fountain (S617)
From: darrellvip on 10/31/2008
This amazing fountain is in Canal
City Hakata in Fukuota,
Japan. This new high tech fountain paints beautiful
pictures with water. It will spell out "Welcome to Canal
City" in the middle of this amazing show. I could sit and
watch this for hours. You can see it at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Assyrian King Pawns His Jewels (S362b)
From: pns on 1/2/2004
Assyrian wars King Ozymandias
of Assyria was running low on
cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great
possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable
diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Crosus,
the pawn-broker, to ask for a loan.
"I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it," says Crosus.
"But I paid a million dinars
for it!" the King protests.
"Don't you know who I am? I am the KING!"
Crosus shrugs his shoulders.
"When you wish to pawn a Star,
makes no difference who you are."
Dollar Origami (S675 in Banking-Supp)
From: ginafm on 12/13/2009
Angry Bear from DeviantArt.com...
Origami is the traditional Japanese
art of paper folding.
The goal of this art is to create a representation of an
object using geometric folds and crease patterns preferably
without the use of gluing or cutting the paper, and using
only one piece of paper.
Won Park is the master of Origami.
He is also called the
"money folder", a practitioner of origami whose canvas is
the one or two United States One Dollar Bills. Bending,
twisting, and folding, he creates life-like shapes in
stunning detail inspired by objects living and not.
Click on the above source, or
for my copy, to see
this beautiful, amazing, Japanese art.
|Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009|
Dollar Koi Fish (S617)
by Won Park (in Banking-Supp)
From: tom on 11/4/2008
This is the side view of the
"Dollar Koi Fish". It is made
with only one dollar. The bill is folded with no cuts, no
glue, and no tape. Notice the rounder head and defined
You can see a larger photo and
learn to make your own
"Dollar Koi Fish" at the above source, or on my web site by
Subj: Three Bodies At Japanese Morgue (S207)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 1/15/2001
Three dead bodies turn up at
the mortuary, all with very big
smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show
them what has happened.
A Detective Inspector is sent
and is taken straight to the
first body. "A Sato, 60, died of heart failure whilst making
love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector",
says the Coroner.
The Detective is taken to the second dead man.
"A Tamura, 25, won the lottery,
spent it all on Brandy.
Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Nothing unusual here", thinks
the Detective, and asks to
be shown the last body.
"Ah," says the coroner, "this
is the most unusual one. A
Soho, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Detective.
To which the coroner replies:
"Thought he was having his
Japanese Illusionist (S652b,d)
From: darrellvip on 7/6/2009
(Also see 'Sneezy' in Body Parts)
A Japanese Illusionist disguised
as an elder guy
performs street magic. Click on the above source,
or 'HERE' for my copy, to see amazing magician.
Subj: Asian Enters Currency Exchange (S270c, S665b)
From: pns on 3/11/2002
and From: tom on 10/3/2009
An Asian man walked into the
currency exchange in New York
City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.
The following week, he walked
in with 2000 yen, and was
handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money
that week than the previous week.
The teller said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian man stormed out, but
just before slamming the
door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!
Rice Field Art (S657)
Subj: Banking Crisis In Japan (S147, S344b)
From: PGSP4LIFE on 11/24/1999
and From: LABLaughs.com on 8/20/2003
According to inside contacts,
the Japanese banking crisis
shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting
Following last week's news that
Origami Bank had folded, we
are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank
plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up
for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze
Bank have nose-dived and 500
back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts
report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank
and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
Subj: Short Asian Jokes
Ripley's Believe It or Not! (S683b)
by John Graziano
From: Comics.com on 2/14/2010
|Title from Ripleys.com|
Why Do Geishas Walk With Such Tiny Steps? (S675 in Beer-Supp)
From: JOELFALLON on 12/19/2009
and From: lubin100
Japan's Submersible I-400
Aircraft Carrier (S625c in Ships)
From: rfslick on 1/2/2009
Thailand's Most Beautiful Girl (S574c)
Subj: Hindu Women's Red Spot (S338, S543c)
From: Imogenelumen on 7/13/2003
and From: edapsmas on 6/10/2007
For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their
foreheads. We have naively thought it had something to
do with their religion.
The true story has just been
revealed by the Indian Embassy
in Washington. When one of these women gets married, on
her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot
to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station,
or a motel in Florida. If not, he must take a job in
India answering telephones giving technical support.
Made In Japan (S554)
Subj: Disciplining Japanese Children (S326b)
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/11/2003
A frustrated Japanese father vented, "When I was a
youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room
without supper. But in my son's room, he has his own color
TV, telephone, computer, and CD player."
"So what do you do?" asked his friend.
"I send him to MY room!" exclaimed
Negotiations - Japanese Style (S529)
Subj: Tongue Twister (S528)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/6/2007
If a bra is an upper topper titty flopper stopper, and a
jock strap is a lower decker pecker checker, and a roll
of toilet tissue is a super duper doody pooper scooper,
what do you a call a Japanese drummer boy whose father
A slap happy Jappy with a crap
A Single Sheet Of Paper... (S508 in Art)
Subj: Buddhist Monk Buys A Hot Dog (S500b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com 8/20/2006
(Also see the movie 'Jeff Bridges Tells Jay Leno A Joke' in Movies2)
"Make me one with everything," the Buddhist monk said to the
hot-dog vendor who was hawking food near the temple.
The vendor made a frank with
mustard, ketchup, relish, and
onions. The monk took it and handed over a twenty-dollar bill.
The vendor stashed the cash in
his apron and turned his
attention to the next customer. "But where's my change?" the
"Change must come from within,
my friend," said the vendor.
New Japanese Skirts (S485b)
Subj: Innocent New Delhi Man Spends 14 Years In Jail (S318b)
From: jerry on 3/2/2003
An innocent New Delhi man spent 14 years in prison, even
after being declared innocent, because no one, including
his family, bothered to tell him or jail authorities that
he was free to go.
But the nightmare isn't over.
His family doesn't want him
because they say he'll be a financial burden. "Had he
completed his education, he would have got a good job by
now. They spoiled his life."
The Independent (South Africa)
Birth Of Japanese Baby (S474b in Pregnant)
Subj: Japanese Fashion Craze (S317)
From: jerry on 2/23/2003
The latest Japanese women's fashion craze is skirts that
appear to be see-through but really aren't. They are
prints where the outline of the woman's butt and underwear
are painted onto the fabric.
You can see a picture at http://lerman.biz/pics/Gallery8.html
or on my joke site at or click 'Here'to view in these files
The Sunday Mail (Australia) 18-Feb-03
Regarding our story of the new
Japanese style of apparently
see-through skirts, it appears that the newspaper, and there-
fore we as well, were fooled by a hoax. It looks like I
won't need to make that "important trip" to Japan after all.
Subj: Japanese Writing (S432b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/9/2005
Subj: Extortion Korean Style (286c)
From: jerry on 7/24/2002
A Korean man sent form letters to 250 randomly selected
Korean corporate executives claiming to have evidence of
their adulterous behavior and threatening to go public
with his evidence unless they sent him a million won.
Nine executives sent him the money before his arrest for
The executives who paid said
they did so, not because they
were having affairs, but to prevent bad publicity.
Korean Herald 22-Jul-02
Paper Airplanes - Nakamura (S546b in Eng3)
Subj: Elections In India (S267b)
From: jerry on 3/3/2002
Voters in India's most populous state have elected 122
lawmakers who are currently facing criminal charges such
as rape, murder, kidnapping and robbery. At least 910
candidates for the 403 seats in the Uttar Pardesh state
assembly are alleged criminals.
Subj: Shrimp For Japanese Water Plant (S254)
From: jerry on 12/11/2001
Yokohoma, Japan city officials are placing small shrimp
and killfish, which are sensitive to poison, in tanks at
four water filtration plants at points before the water
If the shrimp and killfish are healthy, their electrical
emissions will be steady, but if poisoned this will change
and set off an alarm to alert officials that the water
needs further testing.
Mainichi Shimbun (Japan) 7-Dec-01
Subj: Bin Laden Look-A-Like (S249b)
From: jerry on 11/7/2001
If it looks like a Laden, walks like a Laden .
An Indian man who looks like
Osama bin Laden was ordered
out of town because he's been attracting huge crowds.
Kind of wondering wherever he can move to.
Subj: Children's Day
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 2/12/99
In India, 14th November is celebrated as Children's Day
(It is dedicated in the memory of the first Prime Minister
who loved children). A kid was asked "Why 14th November is
celebrated as Children's day ?" He replied with a smirk,
"Because it is 9 months after Valentine's Day"
Magic Hands (S460b - movies)
I found a better source and moved
Chinese Dancers in Asian-Chinese
Subj: Mahatma Gandhi (S123, S610c)
From: joeleon on 8/3/2004
and From: hellgunner50 on 9/16/2008
(Also see 'Ghandi Pun' in WORD_JOKES2)
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time, which produced an impressive set of callouses on his
feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail
and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This
made him what?
A super calloused fragile mystic
hexed by halitosis..
Subj: Mahatma Gandhi's List Of The Seven Deadly Sins (S512b)
From: edapsmas on 11/7/2006
Wealth without Work
Pleasure without Conscience
Science without Humanity
Knowledge without Character
Politics without Principle
Commerce without Morality
Worship without Sacrifice
Subj: Mahatma Gandhi Quotations
From: igiggle on 12/31/2003 (S362b)
Be the change that you want to see in the world.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/11/2002 (S271c)
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they
fight you, then you win." -- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
From: LABLaughs.com on 12/4/2002 (S305b)
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot
appear to them except in the form of bread.
-- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/13/2003 (S324b)
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the
freedom to make mistakes.
-- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869 - 1948)
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/15/2003
It is difficult but not impossible to conduct strictly
honest business. . . . What is true is that honesty is
incompatible with the amassing of large fortune.
-- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869 - 1948)
From: LABLaughs.com on 7/20/2006 (S495b)
"Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly
understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument
of action." -- Mahatma Gandhi
From: LABLaughs.com on 1/29/2007 (S524b)
"Don't let anybody walk through your mind with dirty feet."
-- Mahatma Gandhi
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/12/2007 (S536b)
It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to
befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the
quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.
-- Mahatma Gandhi, 1869-1948
The flag of the Philippines is
the only national flag that
is flown differently during times of peace or war. A
portion of the flag is blue, while the other is red. The
blue portion is flown on top in time of peace and the red
portion is flown in war time.
In 1983, a Japanese artist made
a copy of the Mona Lisa
completely out of toast.
From 'International Sex Laws' in LAWS file.
The penalty for masturbation
in Indonesia is decapitation.
(wonder how they enforce that one??)
There are men in Guam whose full-time
job is to travel the
countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for
the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason:
under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to
marry. (now let's just think for a minute...is there any
job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife
is legally allowed to kill
her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare
hands. (the husband's lover, on the other hand, may be
killed in any manner desired).
From: humorlist-digest V2 #190 on 98-08-15
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #285 on 99-02-13
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several
times, does he become Disoriented?
From: LABLaughs.com on 2/14/2002 (S263)
Vision without action is a daydream,
Action without vision is a nightmare.
-- Japanese Proverb
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/16/2006
(S513b in Slogans)
"If you believe everything you read, better not read."
-- Japanese Proverb
From: danschu63 on 1/16/2005 (S416b)
The Dali Llama says to the street hot-dog vendor:
“Make me one with everything”
From: humorlist-digest V2 #113 on 98-05-08
Q: What's a Japanese girl's favorite holiday?
A: Erection day.
|Asian Smiley from