Subj: Butler-Maid Jokes
(Includes 6 jokes and articles, 03 1003,2,cf,vXT3,1)
Butler Dusts from
Also see LAWYER1 file - 'Lawyer And His Adulterous Wife'
Subj: The Carol Burnett Show "The Butler and the Maid" (S1003)
Posted by The Carol Burnett Show Official
From: Roger Ford on Facebook on 3/30/2016
........Click 'HERE' to see this cute skit.
Subj: Butler's Night Off (S14, S671b)
From: V-lewis on 97-05-03
(Also see 'Mother
Explains The Facts' in KIDS1 file
and see 'The Widow Farmer And The Gay Ranch Hand' in FARMER2)
This rich couple was going out
for the evening when the
woman of the house decided to give the butler, Jeeves,
the rest of the night off. She told Jeeves that she and
her husband would be home very late and he should just
enjoy his night off.
As it turned out, the wife wasn't
having a good time at
the party and she came home early. As she walks into the
house she sees Jeeves sitting by himself in the dining room.
She calls for him to follow her. She leads him into the
master bedroom, where she closes and locks the door. She
looks at him and smiles.
"Jeeves, take off my dress." He does this very carefully.
"Jeeves, take off my stockings
and garter." He silently
"Jeeves, remove my bra and panties."
As he does this the
tension in the room continues to mount. She finally looks
at him and says, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my
clothes again, you're fired!"
Subj: Live-In Maid (S769)
From: ArcaMax Jokes on 10/12/2011
A husband and his wife advertised
for a live-in maid to cook
and do the housework. They hired a lovely lass for the job.
She worked out fine, was a good cook, was polite, and kept
the house neat. One day, after about six months, she came
in and said she would have to quit.
"But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
She hemmed and hawed and said
she didn't want to say, but
the wife was persistent, so finally she said, "Well on my day
off a couple of months ago I met this good-looking fellow
from over in the next county, and well, I'm pregnant."
The wife said, "Look, we don't
want to lose you. My husband
and I don't have children, and we'll adopt your baby if you
She talked to her husband; he
agreed, and the maid said she
would stay. The baby came, they adopted it, and all went well.
After several months though,
the maid came in again and said
that she would have to quit. The wife questioned her, found
out that she was pregnant again, talked to her husband, and
offered to adopt the baby if she would stay. She agreed, had
the baby, they adopted it, and life went on as usual.
In a few months, however, she
again said she would have to
leave. Same thing. She was pregnant. They made the same
offer, she agreed, and they adopted the third baby. She
worked for a week or two, but then said, "I am definitely
leaving this time."
"Don't tell me you're pregnant
again?" asked the lady of
"No," she said, "there are just
too many kids here to pick
Subj: The New Maid (S594b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/27/2008
Source: (Removed from buffalosjokes.com)
(Also see 'Lawyer And His Adulterous Wife' in Lawyer1)
Subj. Maid Argues With The Lady Of The House (S589, S835)
From: darrellvip on 4/30/2008
and From: jcary on 1/9/2013
The Mexican maid asked for a
pay increase. The wife was very
upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.
She asked, "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?
Maria: "Well, Señora,
there are tree reasons why I wanna
.........increaze. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"
Maria: "Jor huzban he say so."
Wife: "Oh yeah?"
Maria: "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"
Maria: "Jor hozban did"
Wife increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"
Maria: "The third reason is that
I am better at sex
.........than you in the bed."
Wife, really boiling now and
through gritted teeth asks,
........"And did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Señora, The gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
Subj: Short Butler Jokes
Q: What do you call a butler
with no teeth?
A: An in-dentured servant.
............................From Carin De Bakker on 1/28/13