Subj:     Dentist Jokes
                 (Includes 33 jokes and articles, 08 1095,15,cL3f,wXT2a7a,8)

Teeth from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Shoe Comic Strip (S780)
.........................Foster Brooks - Dentist Skit (S1060)
.........................Pearls Before Swine - Comic Strip (S1095)
.........................Desert Dentist - Video (S858)
.........................Speaker Forgets His Dentures (S130, S858)
.........................Garfield Comic Strip (S836)
.........................Why Engineers Shouldn't Babysit... - Video (S741)
.........................Dentist And A Girl Meet At A Bar (S100, S853)
.........................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (DU)
.........................Dentist Negotiation - Video (S777)
.........................Scotsman Goes To The Dentist (S375, S546b)
.........................Herman Cartoon (S872)
.........................The Dentist - Video (S562)
.........................How To Make Surgical Gloves (S170, S378)
.........................Dentists With Boobs - 3 Photos (S963)
.........................No Dentist Left Behind (S547c)
.........................Man Goes To Dentist For Toothache (S416b)
.........................Dentist Makes A New Upper Plate (S151, DU)
.........................Procedure For Root Canal - Video (DU)
                         Short Dentist Jokes
..............................Buddhist Has Root Canal (S261, S610c)
..............................A Riddle (S129b, S382)
..............................Dentist Tells Woman Of Cavity (S317b)
..............................Quite A Root On That Tooth (S571c)
..............................Daughter's First Time At The Dentist (S612b)
..............................Mouse Brushing

Also see ELDERLY4 file- 'Dentist In Same High School Class'
         GOLF3 file   - 'Golfer Needs Dentures'
         HALOWEEN-SUPP- 'B.C. Sunday Comic Strip'
         MARRIAGE6    - 'Matt Gets Part In School Play'
         MOVIES_ETC-SU- 'A Few Good Dentists'
         POLICE1 file - 'CHP Stops Fred'
         SCHOOL1 file - 'High-Stakes Testing'
         SCHOOL-SUPP3 - 'Selling Toothbrushs'

Subj:     Shoe Comic Strip (S780)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 12/28/2011
 Source: www.gocomics.com/shoe/2011/12/28
Subj:     Foster Brooks - Dentist Skit (S1060)
          From: Fred Carll on 5/12/2017 (d-On Site)

 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/ovfTYQvwZl4

 Click 'HERE' to see Foster Brooks and Dean Martin do the
 Dentist sketch in a bar.
Subj:     Pearls Before Swine (S1095)
          By Stephan Pastis on 1/6/2018
 Source: www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2018/01/06
Subj:     Desert Dentist
          Fm: Texas Country Reporter
..........in 2013 (S858d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/YHeVmkSF5Qo

 It's the only business in Valentine. Find out why this
 far flung dentist prefers to be in the middle of nowhere
 in this Texas Country Reporter.

 Click 'HERE' to see cute, true story about a powerful
 love for the desert.

Subj:     Speaker Forgets His Dentures (S130, S858)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 7/26/99

 A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement
 that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he
 suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.
 Turning to the man next to him, he said, "I forgot my teeth."

 The man said, "No problem."

 With that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair
 of false teeth.  "Try these," he said.

 The speaker tried them.  "Too loose," he said.

 The man then said, "I have another pair... try these."

 The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."

 The man was not taken back at all.  He then said, "I have
 one more pair of false teeth... try them."

 The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."

 With that he ate his meal and gave his address.  After the
 dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the
 man who had helped him.

 "I want to thank you for coming to my aid.  Where is your
 office?  I've been looking for a good dentist."

 The man replied, "I'm not a dentist.  I'm the local undertaker."

Subj:     Garfield Comic Strip (S836)
          By Jim Davis on 1/1/2013
 Source: www.gocomics.com/garfield/2013/01/01
Subj:     Dentist And A Girl Meet At A Bar (S100, S853)
          From: From: auntiegah on 3/25/2003
      and From: tom on 5/18/2013

 A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along
 really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a

 A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed
 his hands.

 He then took off his socks and washed his hands.

 The girl looked at him and says: 'You must be a dentist!'

 Flabergasted, the guy responded 'Yes, that's amazing
 how did you figure that out ?'

 The girl said: 'Easy .... you keep washing your hands'

 One thing led to another, they migrated to the bed and
 things became more passionate.  After they were done,
 the girl said: 'You must be a GREAT dentist!'

 The guy was very very surprised, and said 'Yes, I sure
 am a great dentist ... How did you figure that out??'

 The girl said: 'Easy ... I didn't feel a thing'

Subj:     Why Engineers Shouldn't Babysit (S741)
          From: ft.apache on 3/27/2011  (d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/BPhRiaNW4UQ

 My son wanted to pull out his tooth his way with a rocket.
 Click 'HERE' to see this silly, home-made video.

Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon (DU)
          By Bob Thaves on 2/2/2009
 Source: www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2009/02/02
Subj:     Dentist Negotiation
          From: AFine963 
..........in 2011 (S777d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/7_qwjcxwUqw

 (Also see 'Scotsman Goes To The Dentist' below)

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute joke.

Subj:     Scotsman Goes To The Dentist (S375, S546b)
          From: JBCARY1 on 3/29/2004
      and From: SCOTCOB on 6/28/2007

 (Also see 'Dentist Negotiation' above)

 A Scotsman goes to the dentist and asks how much the dentist
 charges for a tooth extraction.

 "$85 for an extraction, sir," was the dentist's reply.

 "Och, huv yer no got anythin' cheaper?" replies the Scotsman.

 "But that's the normal charge for an extraction, sir" said
 the dentist.

 "What about if yer din't use any anesthetic?" asked the
 Scotsman hopefully.

 "Well it's highly unusual sir, but if that's what you want, I
 suppose I can do it for $70," said the dentist.

 "Hmmmm, what about if yer used one of your dentist trainees
 and still without anesthetic," asked the Scotsman.

 "Well it's possible but they are only training and I can't
 guarantee their level of professionalism and it may be a
 lot more painful.  I suppose in that case, we can bring the
 price down to, say, $40," said the dentist.

 "Och, that's still a wee bit much, how about if yer make it
 a trainin' session and have yer student do the extraction
 and the other students watchin' and learnin," said the
 Scotsman hopefully.

 "Hmmmmm, well OK, it'll be good for the students, I suppose.
 I'll charge you only $5 in that case," said the dentist.

 "Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman.
 "Can yer confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday, then?"

Subj:     Herman Cartoon (S872)
          By Jim Unger on 9/17/2013
Source: www.gocomics.com/herman/2013/09/17
Subj:     The Dentist (S562d-On Site)
          From: rfslick on 10/24/2007
 Source: www.yoursecretweapon.vidmeup.

 Maybe one of the best Tim Conway and Harvey Corman skits
 from the Carol Burnett Show.  Harvey Corman go to the
 dentist as Tim Conway's first patient after dental
 school.  Harney could not keep a straight face in this
 very funny clip.  Click 'HERE' to see it.

Subj:     How To Make Surgical Gloves (S170, S378)
          From: DoctorDebt on 4/21/2004

 A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth.
 He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell
 her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...

 "Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

 She said, "No?"

 "Well", he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big
 building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers
 are all picked according to hand size.  Each individual walks
 up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for
 a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their
 hands!  Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the
 big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over

 And she didn't laugh a bit!!! Five minutes later, during the
 procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst
 out laughing.

 The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought
 about how they must make condoms!"

Subj:     Dentists With Boobs (S963, 3 photos)
          From: George Alexander on Facebook
 Source: www.steve-says.net/2015/01/09/one-day-in-my-life/
.Click 'HERE' to see two more photos of dentists with boobs.
Subj:     No Dentist Left Behind (S547c)
          From: jmdillow on 7/6/2007

 My dentist is great!  He sends me reminders so I don't forget
 checkups.  He uses the latest techniques based on research.
 He never hurts me, and I have all my teeth.

 When I ran into him the other day, I was eager to see if he'd
 heard about the new state program.  I knew he'd think it was

 "Did you hear about the new state program to measure effective-
 ness of dentists with their young patients?" I said.

 "No," he said.  He didn't seem too thrilled. "How will they
 do that?"

 "It's quite simple," I said. "They will just count the number
 of cavities each patient has at age 10, 14, and 18 and average
 that to determine a dentist's rating.  Dentists will be rated
 as excellent, good, average, below average, and unsatisfactory.
 That way parents will know which are the best dentists.  The
 plan will also encourage the less effective dentists to get
 better," I said. "Poor dentists who don't improve could lose
 their licenses to practice."

 "That's terrible," he said.

 "What?  That's not a good attitude," I said.  "Don't you
 think we should try.

 "Sure I do," he said, "but that's not a fair way to determine
 who is practicing good dentistry."

 "Why not?" I said. "It makes perfect sense to me."

 "Well, it's so obvious," he said. "Don't you see that
 dentists don't all work with the same clientele, and that
 much depends on things we can't control?  For example, I
 work in a rural area with a high percentage of patients
 from deprived homes, while some of my colleagues work in
 upper middle-class neighborhoods.  Many of the parents I
 work with don't bring their children to see me until there
 is some kind of problem, and I don't get to do much
 preventive work.

 Also, many of the parents I serve let their kids eat way
 too much candy from an early age, unlike more educated
 parents who understand the relationship between sugar and
 decay.  To top it all off, so many of my clients have
 well water which is untreated and has no fluoride in it.
 Do you have any idea how much difference early use of
 fluoride can make?"

 "It sounds like you're making excuses," I said. "I can't
 believe that you, my dentist, would be so defensive.
 After all, you do a great job, and you needn't fear a
 little accountability."

 "I am not being defensive!" he said.  "My best patients
 are as good as anyone's, my work is as good as anyone's,
 but my average cavity count is going to be higher than
 a lot of other dentists because I chose to work where I
 am needed most."

 "Don't' get touchy," I said.

 "Touchy?" he said.  His face had turned red, and from
 the way he was clenching and unclenching his jaws, I
 was afraid he was going to damage his teeth.  "Try
 furious!  In a system like this, I will end up being
 rated average, below average, or worse.  The few
 educated patients I have who see these ratings may
 believe this so-called rating is an actual measure of
 my ability and proficiency as a dentist.  They may
 leave me, and I'll be left with only the most needy
 patients.  And my cavity average score will get even
 worse.  On top of that, how will I attract good dental
 hygienists and other excellent dentists to my practice
 if it is labeled below average?"

 "I think you are overreacting," I said. "'Complaining,
 excuse-making and stonewalling won't improve dental
 health'... I am quoting from a leading member of the
 DOC," I noted.

 "What's the DOC?" he asked.

 "It's the Dental Oversight Committee," I said, "a
 group made up of mostly lay persons to make sure
 dentistry in this state gets improved"

 "Spare me," he said, "I can't believe this.  Reasonable
 people won't buy it," he said hopefully.

 The program sounded reasonable to me, so I asked, "How
 else would you measure good dentistry?"

 "Come watch me work," he said. "Observe my processes."

 "That's too complicated, expensive and time-consuming,"
 I said.  "Cavities are the bottom line, and you can't
 argue with the bottom line.  It's an absolute measure."

 "That's what I'm afraid my parents and prospective
 patients will think.  This can't be happening," he
 said despairingly.

 "Now, now," I said, "don't despair.  The state will
 help you some."

 "How?" he asked.

 "If you receive a poor rating, they'll send a dentist
 who is rated excellent to help straighten you out," I
 said brightly.

 "You mean," he said, "they'll send a dentist with a
 wealthy clientele to show me how to work on severe
 juvenile dental problems with which I have probably
 had much more experience? BIG HELP!"

 "There you go again," I said.  "You aren't acting
 professionally at all."

 "You don't get it," he said.  "Doing this would be
 like grading schools and teachers on an average score
 made on a test of children's progress with no regard
 to influences outside the school, the home, the
 community served and stuff like that.  Why would
 they do something so unfair to dentists?  No one
 would ever think of doing that to schools."

 Just maybe this will help you understand why
 educators resent the recent federal NO CHILD LEFT

Subj:     Man Goes To Dentist For Toothache (S416b)
          From: jerry 1/17/2005
 Source: (Removed from thesun.co.uk)
 THIS is the skull of builder
 Patrick Lawler - complete with
 a 4in nail he did not even know
 was inside it.

 Amazingly, Patrick, 23, didn't
 realise he had shot himself with
 a nail gun while working.  The
 accident left him with what he
 thought was a minor toothache.

 Patrick, who also suffered
 blurred vision after the
 incident in Breckenridge,
 Colorado, spent six days in
 pain despite using ice and
 painkillers - and eating ice
 cream to ease the swelling.

 Finally he went to a dentist's
 surgery where wife Katerina
 worked and the nail was found,
 lodged 4cm into his brain.

 Patrick was allowed home after

Subj:     Dentist Makes A New Upper Plate (S151, DU)
          From: DVR on 12/23/1999

 A man goes to his dentist because he feels something wrong
 in his mouth.  The dentist examines him and says, "that new
 upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding.  What
 have you been eating?"

 The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four
 months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on
 it that was delicious... Hollandaise sauce.  I loved it so
 much I now put it on everything  --- meat, toast, fish,
 vegetables, everything."

 "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
 Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is
 highly corrosive.  It's eaten away your upper plate.  I'll
 make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."

 "Why chrome?" asks the patient.

 To which the dentist replies, "It's simple.  Everyone knows
 that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

Subj:     Procedure For Root Canal (DUd-On Site)
          From: Interesting Engineering on Facebook
 Source: (Removed from Youtube.com)
.......Click 'HERE' to see how a root canal is done.

Subj:     Short Dentist Jokes

Subj:     Buddhist Has Root Canal (S261, S610c)
          From: KMacinty on 7/22/99
      and From: hellgunner50 on 9/16/2008
 Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's
 Novocain during root canal work?  He wanted to transcend
 dental medication.

Subj:     A Riddle (S129b, S382)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #99 on 98-04-21
 I dig out tiny caves, and store gold and silver in them. I
 also build bridges of silver and make crowns of gold. They
 are the smallest you could imagine. Sooner or later every-
 body needs my help, yet many people are afraid to let me
 help them. Who am I?

 Answer backwards: tsitneD A

Subj:     Dentist Tells Woman Of Cavity (S317b)
          From: Joke-of-the-day.com on 2/24/2003
 This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is
 through examining her he says "I am sorry to tell you this,
 but I am going to have to drill that tooth."

 The woman then says "Ooooohhhh, I'd rather have a baby!"

 To which the dentist replies "Make up your mind, I have
 to adjust the chair."

Subj:     Quite A Root On That Tooth
          From: darrellvip
..........in 2007 (S571c)
 You can view this cute, dirty cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Daughter's First Time At The Dentist (S612b)
          From: tom on 9/28/2008
 For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey
 was coming to my office to have me, a dental hygienist,
 clean her teeth.  She was accompanied by her grand-mother.

 When they came in, I greeted them warmly, seated Kelsey
 and, as usual, put on my gloves, goggles and mask.  About
 ten minutes into the procedure, she got scared and cried,
 'I want my mommy!'

 I quickly pulled off my mask and said, 'I am your mommy.'

 Without hesitating, my daughter yelled back,
 'Then I want my granny!'

Subj:     Mouse Brushing
          From: rickydwyman on 2/18/2006

 Gil: What time do most people go to the denstist?
 Jill: I don't know. What time?
 Gil: At tooth-hurty!

 An old statute in Flint, MI, compels dentists to offer a
 "slug of whiskey with no additional charge to said patient."

From: ICohen on 3/13/2001 (S215)
 Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least 6
 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting
 from the flush.

From: LABLaughsClean on 11/25/2004 (S410b in epitaphs)
At: The New York Times
 Stranger, tread this ground with gravity
 Dentist Brown is filling his his cavity

 Q: What time is it when a chinaman goes to the dentist?
 A: Tooth Hurtee

Neal's Nasty Free Filthy Daily Dirty Joke For 3/14/97
 Q: What do you call a gay dentist?
 A: A tooth fairy.

From: szalay on 1/30/2003 (S313b)
 Q: Where was the toothbrush invented?
 A: Arkansas.  If it were invented anywhere else,
    it would have been called a teethbrush.

                           -(o o)-
.............................From Smiley_Central