.
 
Subj:     Engineer2 Jokes
                 (Includes 17 jokes and articles, 07883n,11,cf.md4v,9)

Satellite from
Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity
Includes the following:  LEGO GBC 20 Modules - Video (S744)
.........................Empire State Building Construction - Videos (S737)
.........................Rotating Skyscraper (S633b)
.........................Five Cannibals Become Engineers (S268b, S460)
.........................German Parking Garage (S485)
.........................Retired Engineer Is Hired (S172, S671b)
.........................Civil Engineering Wallpaper (S446b)
.........................The Engineer's Valentine (S54)
.........................Worlds Biggest Combustion Engine (S614c)
.........................You Might Be An Engineer If... (S138)
.........................You Know You're An Engineer If...
.........................Why Engineers Don't Write Cook Books
.........................Can Food Art (S469)
.........................Engineers Explained
.........................Gears Cube And Gears Heart - Videos (S724)

ENGINEER1 contains jokes
ENGINEER2 & 3 contains oddities and short jokes
============================================================Top
Subj:     LEGO GBC 20 Modules (S744d)
          From: Wimp.com on 4/17/2011
Photo from YouTube.com...
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWd3vgLaA_M
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/massivelego/
 

 This complex Lego device is the most amazing thing you
 will see all day.  This is a Lego, Rube Goldberg device
 that sends small balls through 20 Lego modules on a
 closed course.  Click on either source, or 'HERE' for
 my copy, to see this wonderful, totally silly device.

Top
Subj:     Empire State Building Construction (S737d3,cf,md4,3)
          From: tom on 2/23/2011

 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEnCpWMl91s&NR=1
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZJLrUa41Tw
 Source3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m0TpUhylKc
 Source4: http://www.technologystudent.com/culture1/empire1.htm
.Photo from TechnologyStudent.com

The Empire State Building was the highest building
in the world for forty Years.  It was constructed
in New York (USA) an era when American cities such
as Chicago and New York competed to have the highest
skyscrapers.

To make way for the new skyscraper the old Waldorf-
Astoria Hotel on Fifth Avemue was demolished.
Demolition started in March 1930 and the construction

 of the new building was completed in fourteen months, on May
 14th, 1931.

 With 102 stories, it was the tallest building in the world
 for forty years.  Only when the first tower of the World
 Trade Center was completed in 1972 was it deposed as the
 highest building.
.
Click on Source1, or 'HERE' for my copy, to
see twenty great photos with comments about
the construction of the Empire State Building.
.
Photo from Youtube.com
..
Click on Source2, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
forty-two seconds of archive footage from the
building of Empire State Building.
.
Photo from Youtube.com
...
Click on Source3, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
Part 1 of 3 Empire State Building segment from
New York: A Documentary Film  It discusses the
history of the building.
.
Top
Subj:     Rotating Skyscraper (S633b,d)
          From: jcary on 2/23/2009
 A series of rotating skyscrapers based on Dynamic Architecture
 will be built around the world, starting in Dubai, U.A.E.  The
 Dynamic Architecture concept was introduced by Florentine
 architect David Fisher.

 Click 'HERE' to see two videos, one PowerPoint Show, and/or
 an article about these amazing skyscrapers.

Top
Subj:     Five Cannibals Become Engineers (S268b, S460)
          From: tadams96 on 3/19/2002
      and From: darrell94590 on 11/15/2005

 Five cannibals are hired as engineers in a defense company.
 During the welcoming ceremony the boss says, "You're all
 part of our team now.  You can earn good money here, and
 you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat.  So please
 don't trouble any of the other employees".  The cannibals
 promise to be good.

 Four weeks later the boss returns and says, "You're all
 working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you.
 However, one of our janitors has disappeared.

 Do any of you know what happened to him?"

 The cannibals all shake their heads no.

 After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says
 to the others, "Which of you idiots ate the janitor?"

 A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the
 cannibals replies, "You fool! For four weeks we've been
 eating Supervisors, Team Leaders, and Project Managers
 and no one noticed anything, and you have to go and eat
 the janitor!"

Top
Subj:     German Parking Garage (S485 in Germany)
          From: darrell94590
          on 5/9/2006
 Talk about German efficiency! The two photos were taken at a
 new parking garage in Munich.  The actual space that the
 facility occupies is approximately only 20% of a comparable
 facility with the traditional design that is used primarily
 in the US.  Not only is the German structure less expensive
 to build, but vehicles are also "retrieved" in less time and
 without the potential of being damaged by an attendant.  You
 can view this amazing garage on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Retired Engineer Is Hired (S172, S671b)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/31/97
      and From: thebartend on 5/17/00

 There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for
 fixing all things mechanical.  After serving his company
 loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.  Several
 years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly
 impossible problem they were having with one of their
 multi-million dollar machines.  They had tried everything
 and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail.
 In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had
 solved so many of their problems in the past.

 The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.  He spent a day
 studying the huge machine.  At the end of the day he marked
 a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine
 and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is".  The
 part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

 The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer
 for his service.  They demanded an itemized accounting of
 his charges.  The engineer responded briefly:

 One chalk mark .. ..... ..... $1
 Knowing where to put it ..... $49,999

 It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.

Top
Subj:     Civil Engineering Wallpaper (S446b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult
          on 8/17/2005
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20050814

 You can view this revealing computer wallpaper at the source
 above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     The Engineer's Valentine (S54)
          From: OXyMoron Humour Archive on 07/01/97

 I was alone and all was dark
 Beneath me and above
 My life was full of volts and amps
 But not the spark of love
 But now that you are here with me
 My heart is overjoyed
 You turn the square of my heart
 Into a sinusoid
 You load things from my memory
 Onto my system's bus
 My life was once assembly code
 Now it's C++
 I love the way you solder things
 My circuts you can fix
 The voltage across your diode is
 much more then just point six
 With your amps and resistors
 You have built my integrator
 I cannot survive without you
 You are my function generator
 You have charged my life, increased my gain
 And made my maths discrete
 And now I'll end my poem here
 Control, Alt, and Delete

Top
Subj:     Worlds Biggest Combustion Engine (S614c)
          From: darrellvip
          on 10/13/2008 (in Ships)
 Source: http://www.vincelewis.net/bigengine.html

 The worlds biggest engine is the Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C.
 It is a turbo charged two-stroke diesel engine and it is
 the most powerful and efficient low revolution engine in
 the world today.  These large engines are designed to
 power the worlds super oil tankers and large container
 ships.  You can read this excellent article at the above
 source, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     You Might Be An Engineer If... (S138)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 09/22/1999

... Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading
    your RAM is a moral dilemma.
... You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the
    engine room.
... The sales people at the local computer store can't answer
    any of your questions.
... You bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
... You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
... You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own
    handwriting.
... You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice
    and parallel.
... You have saved every power cord from all your broken
    appliances.
... You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
... You know what http:// stands for.
... You look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids'
    toys together.
... You see a good design and still have to change it.
... You window shop at Radio Shack.
... Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
... Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
... You've already calculated how much you make per second.
... You've tried to repair a $5 radio.

          From: Amy's Humor Archive on 06/27/97

... You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
... You enjoy pain.
... You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to
    do long division.
... You chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
... You've actually used every single function on your
    graphing calculator.
... When you look in a mirror, you see a engineering major.
... It is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on
    a computer.
... You frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
... You always do homework on Friday nights.
... You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the
    derivative of water.
... You think in "math."
... You've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
... You hesitate to look at something because you don't want
    to break down its wave function.
... You have a pet named after a scientist.
... You laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
... The Humane society has you arrested because you actually
    performed the  Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
... You can translate English into Binary.
... You can't remember what's behind the door in the science
    building which says  "Exit."
... You have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer,
    because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
... You are completely addicted to caffeine.
... You avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute
    to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
... You consider ANY non-science course "easy."
... When your professor asks you where your homework is, you
    claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so
    precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be any-
    where in the universe.
... The "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack
    of use.
... You'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to
    make the math easier.
... Your "Far Side" desk calendar is four months behind.
... You can speak sentences with four or more acronyms in them.
... You can understand sentences with four or more acronyms
    in them.
... The term "sanitation engineer" actually bothers you.
... You own three calculators.
... You wear old running shoes on Friday.
... You still wear those knit ties.
... The highlight of your trip to Las Vegas was a tour of
    Hoover Dam.
... You have ever ridden an escalator and mentally
    calculated the horsepower necessary to run it.
... You have automatic everything in your house, but none
    of it meets the National Electrical Code.
... You know more about what's inside the TV than what
    programs are on it.
... You know Frame Relay is not an Olympic event.
... You own more than three mechanical pencils.
... You have more cable TV and telephone outlets in your
    house than electrical outlets.
... The people at Radio Shack ask you questions.
... You have ever tried to network your home PC, microwave
    oven and garage-door opener.
... You own eight neckties, all identical.
... Your car has two more antennas than it came with.
... Your spouse keeps tripping over the wire you strung --
    temporarily-- three  years ago.
... You are on a first-name basis with the sales staff of a
    major parts  mail-order house.
... You have more compilers than computers.
... You look at the assembler output of your compiler because
    "you know you can do better."
... You know how many transistors were in each x86 chip put
    out by Intel.
... You bought Windows 2.0, and liked it.
... You dated the keypunch operator to get special treatment.
... You can count in binary on your fingers.
... You answer, "I'll tell you but then I'll have to kill you."
... Your children ask a question like "How do radios work?"
    and have no  further questions after your explanation.
... You put a hanging ground strap on your car.
... You've wired every room in your house for 10 Base T
    (Cat5, of course)
... You keep the knobs off junk electronics stuff, just in case.
... You can do a roadside repair of your car's ECM, but
    can't change a flat.
... You've fitted transponders to your kids and pets so you
    know where they are at all times. (okay so maybe not yet,
    but I know you've thought  about it!)
... You've instrumented the department coffee maker so you
    can tell from your workstation when someone has started
    a fresh pot.
... You use a stapler to stitch a hole in your pocket.
... You calculate the best patterns to mow your lawn
    in the least amount of time.
... You are better with a Karnaugh map than you are with
    a street map.
... You still think Tron was the best movie ever made.
... At a traffic intersection you try to figure out the
    synchronization pattern between your car's wipers and
    the others'.
... You and your spouse have developed a discrete (as in
    non-public) signal to let you know when your penchant
    for factual accuracy is killing a good story.
... One computer, keyboard, mouse and screen is not enough
    for you.  You spend your evening and/or night watching
    at least three screens at the same time.
... You have at least one historical computer in your closet.
... Your cooking is always burned because of the million
    other things you  do at the same time.
... You take along a printout of the schedule of your family
    vacation.
... You've ever said that even if you didn't need the money
    and they didn't pay you, you'd still work for free.
... At home, you find the idea of moving a wall more
    attractive than the idea of painting it.
... You can name all the cards in your PC without looking.
... You empty your pockets at home at night and amongst the
    change you find two resistors, a NiCad battery and a
    75-ohm terminator.
... You are uninterested in Olympic events that involve
    subjective judging  (skating, gymnastics, diving, etc.)
... Your husband puts up wall-mounted bookshelves and you
    can tell by eye  that the left side is 1/8 inch lower
    than the right.
... You always have to explain things by drawing it out on
    paper or a napkin.
... You understood more than five of these indicators.
... You make a hard copy of this list, and post it on
    your door.
... You read this list in entirety.

Top
Subj:     You Know You're An Engineer If...
 

 Engineer Identification Test

 Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to
 be one.  The word "engineer" is greatly overused.  If there
 is somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as
 an engineer, give him this test to discern the truth.

                                                              o
 You walk into a room and notice that a picture             ____/_\____
 is hanging crooked.   You...                              |`---------`|
                                                           ||   A___  ||
 A. Straighten it.                                         ||  /^\##\ ||
 B. Ignore it.                                             ||  |LI__| ||
 C. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six          jgs   |.---------.|
    months designing a solar-powered, self-                `"""""""""""`
    adjusting picture frame while often stating
    aloud your belief that the inventor of the nail was a
    total moron.

 The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given
 to anybody who writes "It depends" in the margin of the
 test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."

 SOCIAL SKILLS
 Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
 interaction. "Normal" people expect to accomplish several
 unrealistic things from social interaction:

    * Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
    * Important social contacts
    * A feeling of connectedness with other humans

 In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational
 objectives for social interactions:

    * Get it over with as soon as possible.
    * Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant.
    * Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects.
 

 FASCINATION WITH GADGETS
 To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed
 into one of

   (1) things that need to be fixed, and...
   (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've
       had a few minutes to play with them.                   .--.
                                                          .-========-.
 Engineers like to solve problems.  If there are no       | === [__] |
 problems handily available, they will create their       | [__][__] |
 own problems.  Normal people don't understand this       | o   ==== |
 concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't      | LILILILI |
 fix it.  Engineers believe that if it ain't broke,       | LILILILI |
 it doesn't have enough features yet.                     | LILILILI |
                                                          | LILILILI |
 No engineer looks at a television remote control         |  __  __  |
 without wondering what it would take to turn it into     | [__][__] |
 a stun gun.  No engineer can take a shower without       | [__][][] |
 wondering if some sort of Teflon coating would make      | [__] ==  |
 showering unnecessary.  To the engineer, the world is    |      OOO |
 a toy box full of suboptimized and feature-poor toys.    '-========-'
 

 FASHION AND APPEARANCE
                   |
            __,--./|.--,__             Clothes are the lowest priority
          .`   \ \ / /    `.           for an engineer, assuming the
        .`      \ | /       `.         basic thresholds for temperature
       /   /     ^|^      \   \        and decency have been satisfied.
      /   / |     |o     | \   \
     /===/  |     |      |  \===\      If no appendages are freezing or
    /___/   |     |o     |   \___\     sticking together, and if no
            |     |      |             genitalia or mammary glands are
           |     |o     |             swinging around in plain view,
            |     |      |             then the objective of clothing
            |     |o     |             has been met.  Anything else is
            |     |      |             a waste.
            |     |o     |   jgs
            |_____/\_____|                           (\/)
                                                      \/ (\/)
 DATING AND SOCIAL LIFE                    /)))))))))     \/
                                          //) __   __\     ,%%%%%%%%%,
 Dating is never easy for engineers.      C==/_o|^|o_\   ,%%%%%%%%%%%%,
 A normal person will employ various      |      _\  )   %/_   _%%%%%%%
 indirect and duplicitous methods to       \   '---'/    /_o|^|o_\=?%%%
 create a false impression of attrac-     _/`-. __.'_    (   /_     @%%,
 tiveness.  Engineers are incapable                  \    \'===='  /%%%
 of placing appearance above function.      jgs           _'-----' \%%%"
 Fortunately, engineers have an ace                      /          `
 in the hole.  They are widely recognized as superior
 marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest,
 and handy around the house.  While it's true that many normal
 people would prefer not to date an engineer, most normal
 people harbor an intense desire to mate with them, thus
 producing engineer-like children who will have high-paying
 jobs long before losing their virginity.

 Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness
 later than normal men, becoming irresistible erotic
 dynamos in their mid thirties to late forties.  Just
 look at these examples of sexually irresistible men in
 technical professions:

    * Bill Gates.
    * MacGyver.
    * Etcetera.

 Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent
 and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their
 clinical death.  Longer if it's a warm day.

 HONESTY
 Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and
 human relationships.  That's why it's a good idea to keep
 engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and
 other people who can't handle the truth.

 Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work.  They
 say things that sound like lies but technically are not
 because nobody could be expected to believe them.  The
 complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

    "I won't change anything without asking you first."
    "I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."
    "I have to have new equipment to do my job."
    "I'm not jealous of your new computer."
                                                   .-----------------.
 FRUGALITY                                         |$100 ~~~~~~~ $100|
                                                   |  S  o (0) o   S |
 Engineers are notoriously frugal.  This is        |$100 _==^==_ $100|
 not because of cheapness or mean spirit; it       `-----------------'
 is simply because every spending situation
 is simply a problem in optimization, that is, "How can I
 escape this situation while retaining the greatest amount
 of cash?"

 POWERS OF CONCENTRATION
 If there is one trait that can best define an engineer, it
 is the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete
 exclusion of everything else in the environment.  This
 sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely.
 Some funeral homes in high-tech area  have started checking
 resumes before processing the bodies.

 RISK
 Engineers hate risk.  They try to eliminate it whenever they
 can.  This is understandable, given that when an engineer
 makes one little mistake the media will treat it like it's
 a big deal or something.

 EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS

    * Hindenberg.                           _..--=--..._
    * Space Shuttle Challenger.          .-'            '-.  .-.
    * Hubble space telescope.           /.'              '.\/  /
    * Apollo 13.                       |=-                -=| (
    * Titanic.                          \'.              .'/\  \
    * Ford Pinto.                        '-.,_____ _____.-'  '-'
    * Corvair.                        jgs     [_____]=8

 The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something like this:

 RISK:
 Public humiliation and the death of thousands of innocent people.

 REWARD:
 A certificate of appreciation in a handsome plastic frame.

 Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance of
 risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good thing.
 The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any activity
 is technically impossible for reasons that are far too
 complicated to explain.

 If that approach is not sufficient to halt the project, then
 the engineer will fall back to a second line of defense:
 "It's technically possible but it will cost too much."

 EGO
 Ego-wise, two things are important to engineers:
    * How smart they are.
    * How many cool devices they own.

 The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is to
 declare that the problem is unsolvable.  No engineer can
 walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved.  No
 illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer
 off the case.  These types of challenges quickly become
 personal -- a battle between the engineer and the laws of
 nature.

 Engineers will go without food and hygiene for days to solve
 a problem.  (Other times just because they forgot.)  And
 when they succeed in solving the problem they will experience
 an ego rush that is better than sex -- and I'm including the
 kind of sex where other people are involved.

 Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the
 suggestion that somebody has more technical skill.  Normal
 people sometimes use that knowledge as a lever to extract
 more work from the engineer.  When an engineer says that
 something can't be done (a code phrase that means it's not
 fun to do), some clever normal people have learned to
 glance at the engineer with a look of compassion and pity
 and say something along these lines:  "I'll ask Bob to
 figure it out.  He knows how to solve difficult technical
 problems."

      ,    /-.__        At that point it is a good idea for the normal
     ((___/ ___/        person to not stand between the engineer and
     /      }           the problem.  The engineer will set upon the
     \ .--.(    ___     problem like a starved Chihuahua on a pork
 jgs  \\   \\  (o__)    chop.

Top
Subj:     Why Engineers Don't Write Cook Books
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/20/98

 Chocolate Chip Cookies:

 Ingredients:

  1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
  2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
  3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
  4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
  5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
  6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
  7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
  8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian
     albumen-coated protein
  9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
 10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

 To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an
 overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr,
 add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.

 In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller
 operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and
 seven until the mixture is homogenous.

 To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three
 equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1.
 Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with
 constant agitation.  Care must be taken at this point in
 the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be
 the result of an exothermic reaction.

 Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place
 the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).
 Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in
 agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate
 expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.
 Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C
 heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to
 equilibrium.

Top
Subj:     Can Food Art (S469 in Food-Etc)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 1/13/2006
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19970409
      to http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19970418

 NYC Design and Build Canned Goods Competition Architects
 and engineers compete to see whose team can build the most
 spectacular structure using little more than cans of food.
 The exhibit at New York Design Center is open to the public.
 At the end of the competition, the 130,000 cans will be
 given to the Food Bank of New York City.  For more
 information, visit http://www.canstruction.org/

 You can view nine pictures from the competition at the sources
 above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Engineers Explained
          From: mbucher on 98-03-05

 People who work in the fields of science and technology are
 not like other people.  This can be frustrating to the non-
 technical people who have to deal with them.  The secret to
 coping with technology-oriented people is to understand
 their motivations.  This chapter will teach you everything
 you need to know.  I learned their customs and mannerisms
 by observing them, much the way Jane Goodall learned about
 the great apes, but without the hassle of grooming.
 

 SOCIAL SKILLS:

 Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social
 interaction.  "Normal" people expect to accomplish several
 unrealistic things from social interaction:

 .Stimulating and thought-provoking conversation
 .Important social contacts
 .A feeling of connectedness with other humans

 In contrast to "normal" people, engineers have rational
 objectives for social interaction:

 .Get it over with as soon as possible
 .Avoid getting invited to something unpleasant
 .Demonstrate mental superiority and mastery of all subjects
 

 FASCINATION WITH GADGETS:

 To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed
 into one of two categories:

 .Things that need to be fixed, and
 .Things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few
 minutes to play with them.

 Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems
 handily available, they will create their own problems.
 Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe
 that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

 Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have
 enough features yet.

 No engineer looks at a television remote control without
 wondering what it would take to turn it into a stun gun.
 No engineer can take a shower without wondering if some
 sort of Teflon coating would make showering unnecessary.
 To the engineer, the world is a toy box full of the sub-
 optimized and feature-poor toys.
 

 HONESTY:

 Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and
 human relationships.  That's why it's a good idea to keep
 engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and
 other people who can't handle the truth.

 Engineers sometimes bend the truth to avoid work.  They
 say things that sound like lies but technically are not
 because nobody could be expected to believe them.  The
 complete list of engineer lies is listed below.

 ."I won't change anything without asking you first."
 ."I'll return your hard-to-find cable tomorrow."
 ."I have to have new equipment to do my job."
 ."I'm not jealous of your new computer."
 

 FRUGALITY:

 Engineers are notoriously frugal. This is not because of
 cheapness or mean spirit; it is simply because every
 spending situation is simply a problem in optimization,
 that is, "how can I escape this situation while retaining
 the greatest amount of cash?"
 

 POWERS OF CONCENTRATION:

 If there is one trait that best defines an engineer it is
 the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete
 exclusion of everything else in the environment.  This
 sometimes causes engineers to be pronounced dead prematurely.
 Some funeral homes in high-tech areas have started checking
 resumes before processing the bodies.  Anybody with a degree
 in electrical engineering or experience in computer pro-
 gramming is propped up in the lounge for a few days just to
 see if he or she snaps out of it.
 

 RISK:

 Engineers hate risk.  They try to eliminate it when they
 can.  This is understandable, given that when an engineer
 makes one little mistake the media will treat it like it
 is a big deal or something.
 

 EXAMPLES OF BAD PRESS FOR ENGINEERS:

 .Hindenberg
 .Space Shuttle Challenger
 .SPANet (tm)
 .Hubble space telescope
 .Apollo 13
 .Titanic
 .Ford Pinto
 .Corvair

 The risk/reward calculation for engineers looks something
 like this:

 RISK: Public humiliation and the death of thousands of
 innocent people.
 REWARD: A certificate of appreciation in a handsome
 plastic frame.

 Being practical people, engineers evaluate this balance
 of risks and rewards and decide that risk is not a good
 thing.  The best way to avoid risk is by advising that any
 activity is technically impossible for reasons that are
 far too complicated to explain.  If that approach is not
 sufficient to halt projects, then the engineer will fall
 back to a second line of defense; "It's technically
 possible, but it will cost too much."
 

 EGO:

 Ego-wise two things are important to engineers:

 .How smart they are
 .How many cool devices they own

 The fastest way to get an engineer to solve a problem is
 to declare that the problem is unsolvable.  No engineer
 can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved.
 No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer
 off the case. These types of challenges quickly become
 personal, a battle between the engineer and the laws of
 nature.  Engineers will go without food and hygiene for
 days to solve a problem. (Other times just because they
 forgot.)

 Nothing is more threatening to the engineer than the
 suggestion that somebody has more technical skill.  Normal
 people sometimes use that knowledge as a lever to extract
 more work from the engineer.  When an engineer says that
 something can't be done (a code phrase that means it's
 not fun to do), some clever normal people have learned
 to glance at the engineer with a look of compassion and
 pity and say something along these lines; "I'll ask Bob
 to figure it out. He knows how to solve difficult
 technical problems."  At that point it is a good idea for
 the normal person to not stand between the engineer and
 the problem.  The engineer will set upon the problem like
 a started Chihuahua on a pork chop.
 
 

 (stolen from a website at the University of Wisconsin)
 home page-->  http://ww2.sd.cybernex.net/~ctkparsh/

 The Computing Padre says, "Blessed are they who compute,
 for theirs is the kingdom of cyberspace."

Top
Subj:     Gears Cube And Gears Heart (S724d2,cf,md4,2)
          From: Wimp.com on 11/28/2010
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Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfspDCpVDTw
Source2: http://www.wimp.com/gearscube/

Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy,
to see this amazing cube move with gears.

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Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvJXOualy8M

Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy,
to watch the construction of this heart with gears.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
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..........................From GIFs Rubrik:Neon Smiley
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