.
.
>>>
Subj:     Job Related Stuff-Supp
                 (Includes 170 jokes and articles, 25942n,32,cf,mp4wT,21)
 

          Click "Here" for Job-Stuff-Supp2


Electric Shock
from
FeebleMinds
Includes the following:  Coffee Shop Worker Quits Via Song - Video (S821d in Supp2)
.........................Let's Raise Kids To Be Entrepreneurs - TED Video (S735-Sp2)
.........................Don't Look Away When I'm Talking to You - Video (S787-Sup2)
.........................Nigel Marsh - Work Life Balance - Video (S729 in Supp)
.........................Jenny Quits Her Job - Video (S723 in Supp2)
.........................Secrets To Success - Video (S722 in Supp2)
.........................Napoleon Hill - Think And Grow Rich - Video (S722 in Supp2)
.........................Surprise Party Turns Embarrassing - Video (S715 in Supp2)
.........................BP Spills Coffee - Video (S706 in Supp2)
.........................Companies That Use Acronyms Or Initials (S699b in Supp2)
.........................The Boss Returned From Lunch (S714b in Supp2)
.........................RSA Animate - Smile Or Die - Video (S696 in Supp2)
.........................Human Resource Dictionary (S241 in Supp2)
.........................Drive: The Surprising Science Of Motivation - Vid (S696-Sp2)
.........................The New "Family Pack" Hefty Bags (S275 in Supp2)
.........................Making Plastic Eco-Friendly - Video (S834 in Supp2)
.........................Stock Market Terminology (S305b, S610b in Supp2)
.........................Jason Fried: Why Work Doesn't Happen - TED Vid (S725 in Sp2)
.........................Stock Prices (S314 in Supp2)
.........................How To Find And Do Work You Love - TED Video (S866 in SUPP2)
.........................How To Attend A Meeting (in Supp2)
.........................Changing Company Names (S222 in Supp2)
.........................Nor Sequitur Cartoon (S515c, S927)
.........................Leadership Lessons From Dancing Guy - Video (S685b)
.........................SNL's Reliable Dividend Growth Fund - Video (S611, S841)
.........................The Four Way Test (S515b)
.........................Smart Marketing IQ - Test (S578, S841)
.........................The Brewery (S499c)
.........................Company Mascot Quiz (S597)
.........................Entertaining Women Clients (397b)
.........................Find A Job For A Right- Or Left-Brain Thinker - Quiz (S607)
.........................Dinner With The Boss (S395)
.........................Charts Music - Video (S635c)
.........................Best Out Of Office Auto Replies (S454)
.........................The Lost Dr. Seuss Poem (S414)
.........................New Son-In-Law Becomes Partner (S387b)
.........................Econ 101: By Dave Barry
.........................Asking Applicants A Final Question (S333b, S535b)
.........................Dead Man Works For A Week (S355, S667)
.........................The Meeting Minder (S334)
.........................Company Colors Quiz (S638)
.........................Office Printer's Type Grows Faint (S333)
.........................Short Job-Stuff Files
..............................Dilbert Cartoons: Dogbert's Consult Video (S887-Sup2)
..............................The GIF - Office Essentials (S428 in Supp2)
..............................Calvin and Hobbes Sunday Comic Strip (S793 in Supp2)
..............................Moving Furniture (S728 in Supp2)
..............................Best-Known Consumer Brand Logos (S699b in Supp2)
..............................Successful New Business (S711b in Supp2)
..............................Best Flow Chart... (S716b in Supp2)
..............................Huggies Commercial - Video (S683)
..............................Bud Light Clothing Drive 2010 - Video (S682)
..............................Work Harder Bumper Sticker (S672b)
..............................Can You Pass The Google Test? (S621b)
..............................North Dakota Oil (S620c)
..............................GS1 Bar Codes (S619c)
..............................What's Your Work Style? (S615)
..............................Lunch On The Skyscraper - PPS (S607)
..............................Foolish Trivia (S579b-S669b)
..............................More Foolish Trivia (S671b thru ???)
..............................Sexual Harassment (S440b, S614)
..............................Creative Advertising (S541c)
..............................Running Out of Typing Paper (S394b)
..............................Work Place Dangers - PPS (S553c)
..............................Buying A Thermometer (S373)
..............................Maxine On Being A Consultant (S537b)
..............................Anal Glaucoma (S369)
..............................Painted Ceiling In The Smoking Area (S518b)
..............................Definition Of A Committee (S358b)
..............................Nor Sequitur Cartoon II (DU)
..............................Office Arithmetic (S453b)
..............................Company Summer Party (S503b)
..............................Mooning The Boss (S502)
..............................Crew Practice At The Office - Video (S495b)
..............................Riding The Market - GIF (S489b)
..............................How To Get Days Off Work (S486)
..............................Christmas Season Store Sign (S465b)
..............................Workplace Safety Winners (S362)
..............................WorkEthicEvaluation (S324b)

============================================================Top
Subj:     Nor Sequitur Cartoon (S515c, S927)
          From: GoComics.com on 11/29/2006
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2006/11/29/
.
.....
.
Top
Subj:     Leadership Lessons From Dancing Guy
          By Derek Sivers
          At Sivers.org/ff on 2/28/2010 (S685b,d)
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/leadershiplessons/
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8amMCVAJQ

 This video teaches you about leadership and making a movement.
 Let's watch a movement happen, start to finish, in under 3
 minutes, and dissect some lessons:

 A leader needs the guts to stand alone and look ridiculous.
 But what he's doing is so simple, it's almost instructional.
 This is key. You must be easy to follow!

 Now comes the first follower with a crucial role: he publicly
 shows everyone how to follow.  Notice the leader embraces him
 as an equal, so it's not about the leader anymore - it's about
 them, plural.

 Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see these
 leadership skills.

Top
Subj:     SNL's Reliable Dividend Growth Fund
          From: tom
          on 10/15/2008 (S611d, S841)
 Source: http://reliableinvestments.net/

 Click 'HERE' to view this 2005 'Saturday Night Live' episode
 with Alex Baldwin.  It is way too real considering the stock
 market over the last two weeks.

Top
Subj:     The Four Way Test (S515b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/28/2006

 The man was Herbert J. Taylor who surveyed the way the
 company did its business, which was the sale of aluminum
 pots and pans.  The nature of the industry was fraught with
 unethical business practices.  To bring the business out of
 bankruptcy Taylor knew that he had to change the way business
 was conducted.  Ultimately he developed a very simple business
 philosophy that all employees were to follow in all of their
 business dealings with customers, suppliers and associates.
 The philosophy changed the business, turned the business
 around and ultimately brought it out of bankruptcy.
 

 The business philosophy is a simple four step decision making
 tool.  It didn't tell people what to do or how to think, but
 it did give them a tool to use in all of their business
 dealings.  The tool is now well known to anyone that has ever
 associated themselves with Rotary International.  It is
 simple, The Four Way Test.  The tip is to use this simple
 decision making tool in your life and see if it doesn't make
 a difference.  As people, we must all stand by our personal
 honesty and integrity.  This is a handy and simple test of
 what you say, do or think. Give it a try in your life.
 

 The Four Way Test

 1. Is it the TRUTH?
 2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
 3. Will it build GOODWILL and better friendships?
 4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

 By the way, this tool made Herbert Taylor a multimillionaire
 in the 1930s. So it's also a very profitable way of doing
 business.

Top
Subj:     Smart Marketing IQ (S578d, S841)
          Made by CramerSweeney
          From: tom on 2/9/2008
 Source: (Removed by the host provider Powweb)

 What is your brand IQ? This twenty question test is fun
 and will tests your brand recognition.  Click 'HERE' to
 test your knowledge of famous brands.

Top
Subj:     The Brewery (S499c)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 8/12/2006

 Warning, this is a true story with an implied moral and
 NOT a joke.

 It is believed to me that this is a true story:  A very
 old traditional brewery in England decided to install a
 new canning line, so as to enable its beer products to
 be marketed through the supermarket sector.  This
 represented a major change for the little company, and
 local dignitaries and past employees were invited to
 witness the first running of the new canning line, which
 was followed by a reception.

 After the new line had been switched on successfully,
 and the formalities completed, the guests relaxed in
 small groups to chat and enjoy the reception.  In a quiet
 corner stood three men discussing trucks and transport
 and distribution, since one was the present distribution
 manager, and the other two were past holders of the post,
 having retired many years ago.  The three men represented
 three generations of company distribution management,
 spanning over sixty years.

 The present distribution manager confessed that his job
 was becoming more stressful because company policy
 required long deliveries be made on Monday and Tuesday,
 short deliveries on Fridays, and all other deliveries
 mid-week.

 "It's so difficult to schedule things efficiently -
 heaven knows what we'll do with these new cans and the
 tight demands of the supermarkets..."

 The other two men nodded in agreement.

 "It was the same in my day," sympathized the present
 manager's predecessor, "It always seemed strange to me
 that trucks returning early on Mondays and Tuesdays
 couldn't be used for little local runs, because the
 local deliveries had to be left until Friday."

 The third man nodded, and was thinking hard, struggling
 to recall the policy's roots many years ago when he'd
 have been a junior in the dispatch department.  After
 a pause, the third man smiled and then ventured a
 suggestion.

 "I think I remember now," he said, "It was the horses...
 During the Second World War fuel rationing was introduced.
 So we mothballed the trucks and went back to using the
 horses.  On Mondays the horses were well-rested after the
 weekend - hence the long deliveries. By Friday the
 horses so tired they could only handle the short local
 drops..."

 Soon after the opening of the new canning line the company
 changed its delivery policy.

Top
Subj:     Company Mascot Quiz (S597)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 6/25/2008
 Source: http://money.aol.com/special/company-mascot-quiz

 Quiz: How well do you know your favorite company mascots?
 Take this fun twenty-question quiz and spot the real
 mascots.  Click on the above source to test your skill.

Top
Subj:     Entertaining Women Clients (397b)
          From: JokesUncut - 03 September 2004

 The boss called in Bill, his star salesman and said, "I
 notice on your last expense report you entered '$50 for
 women'.  I don't really mind you having a good time and
 entertaining our clients, but you should be more discreet.
 From now on list those expenses as being for hunting."

 After that, the Bill's expense account regularly included
 items of "$50 for hunting."  But then one month the first
 entry read, "$300 for cleaning rifle."

Top
Subj:     Find A Job For A Right-
          Or Left-Brain Thinker (S607)
          By N. Bhatta,From: AOL on 06/12/2008
Photo from AOL

 Are you genius at certain jobs but feel like a half-wit
 when trying to complete other types of work?  The two
 sides of the brain each have distinct preferences and
 capabilities, and your strong suits and weaknesses are
 frequently based upon the side of your brain that is
 dominant.  Click 'HERE' to take this quiz to find out
 whether or not you are a right or left brain thinker
 and check out the career choices that correlate.

Top
Subj:     Dinner With The Boss (S395)
          From: DafterLafter - 21 August 2004

 My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his
 boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale,
 which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under
 the table.  There was no response, so I gave him another
 poke.  Still the story went on.  Suddenly he stopped,
 grinned and said, "Oh, but I've told you this one before,
 haven't I?"

 We all chuckled and changed the subject.  Later, on the
 dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so
 long to get my message.

 "What do you mean?" he replied. "I cut the story off as
 soon as you kicked me."

 "But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to
 stop!"

 Suddenly we realized what had happened. Sheepishly we
 returned to our table. The boss smiled and said, "Don't
 worry.  After the second one I figured it wasn't for me,
 so I passed it along!"

Top
Subj:     Charts Music (S635c,d)
          By Johannes Kreidler
          From: LABLaughsClean on 3/5/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-BZfFakpzc

 Also titled as "Microsoft Songsmith Economy Collapse Video"

 The music is derived from the Wall Street stock charts.
 They were arranged with Microsoft's Music Composition
 Software Songsmith.  Crisis charts sound so cool in music.
 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my file version,
 to listen to these unusual stock market melodies.

Top
Subj:     Best Out Of Office Auto Replies (S454)
          From: auntiegah on 9/25/2005

 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to
    you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I
    am out of the office.  If I was in, chances are you would
    not have received anything at all.

 3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails
    you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April.  Please
    be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was
    received.

 4. Thank you for your email.  Your credit card has been charged
    5.99 for the first ten words and 1.99 for each additional
    word in your message.

 5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection
    and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your
    computer and try sending again.  (The beauty of this is that
    when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did
    this over and over).

 6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
    system.  You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to
    receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

 7. I've run away to join a different circus.

 AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

 8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
    reasons.  When I return, please refer to me as 'Margaret'
    instead of 'Steve'.

Top
Subj:     The Lost Dr. Seuss Poem (S414)
          From: BuffalosJokes.com
         At: http://www.buffalosjokes.com/12230419.htm
 

Top
Subj:     New Son-In-Law Becomes Partner (S387b)
          From: mrx on 6/17/2004

 A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new
 son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into
 the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for
 you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you
 have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the
 operations."

 The son-in-law interrupted.  "I hate factories. I can't
 stand the noise."

 "I see," replied the father-in-law.  "Well then you'll work
 in the office and take charge of some of the operations."

 "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand
 being stuck behind a desk all day."

 "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law.  "I just make you
 half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like
 factories and won't work in a office.  What am I going to do
 with you?"

 "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

Top
Subj:     Econ 101: Supply, Demand and Prayer
          by DAVE BARRY
          From: pns on 2/8/2003

 You can read this cute article by Dave Barry
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:   Asking Applicants A Final Question
        From: JokesUncut on 6/14/2003 (S333b, S535b)
    and From: drgolfmd on 4/22/2007
Bubba drawing
from Quizarama

 An office  manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring
 an individual to fill a job opening.  After sorting through
 a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally
 qualified.  He decided to call the four in and ask them
 only one question.  Their answer would determine which of
 them would get the job.

 The day came and as the four sat around the conference room
 table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you
 know of?"

 Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man replied,
 "A THOUGHT."  It just pops into your head.  There's no
 warning that it's on the way; it's just there.  A thought
 is the fastest thing I know of."

 "That's  very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you
 sir?" he asked the second man

 "Hmm.....  let me see A blink!  It comes and goes and you
 don't know that it ever happened.  A BLINK is the fastest
 thing I know of."

 "Excellent!"  said the interviewer.  "The blink of an eye,
 that's a very popular cliche for speed."  He then turned
 to the third man who was contemplating his reply.

 "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house
 and on the wall there's a light switch.  When you flip
 that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the
 barn comes on in less than an instant.  Yep, TURNING ON
 A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."

 The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer
 and thought he had found his man.  "It's hard to beat
 the speed of light," he said.  Turning to Bubba, the
 fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same
 question.

 Old Bubba replied, "After hearing the three previous
 answers.  It's obvious to me that the fastest thing
 known is DIARRHEA."

 "WHAT!?"  said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

 "Oh sure", said old Bubba. "You see the other day I
 wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but
 before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I
 had already crapped my pants."

 Old Bubba is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!!!!

Top
Subj:     Dead Man Works For A Week (S355, S667)
          From: Imogenelumen on 11/20/2003
      and From: tom on 10/19/2009
          (Also see 'Worker Dead At Desk' in Jobs2)
 

 Even though this article is an Urban Legend, it is a great
 read.  See http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/fivedays.htm
 for the truth.  The Sunday Mercury from Birmingham [England]
 got taken in by the hoax.

Top
Subj:     The Meeting Minder (S334)
          From: szalay on 6/20/2003

 Subj: The Meeting Minder or How to Stay Engaged in a Meeting

 Do you keep falling asleep in meetings?   What about those
 long and boring conference calls?  Here's a way to change
 all of that.

 1. Before your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
    prepare your Bullshit Bingo Card by drawing a square
    (5" x 5" is a good size) and divide it into columns
    and rows {five across and five down).  That will give
    you (25} 1" blocks.

 2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

  * synergy
  * strategic fit
  * core competencies
  * out of the box
  * bottom line
  * revisit
  * take that off-line
  * 24/7
  * out of the loop
  * benchmark
  * value-added
  * proactive
  * win-win
  * think outside the box
  * fast track
  * result-driven
  * empower (or empowerment)
  * knowledge base
  * at the end of the day
  * touch base
  * mindset
  * client focus(ed)
  * ballpark
  * game plan
  * leverage

 3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one
    of those words/phrases.

 4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically,
    or diagonally, Stand up and Shout "BULLSHIT!"

 Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:
 -----------------------------------------------------------
 "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
      -Jack  W., Boston

 "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
      -David D., Florida

 "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same
  after my first win."
      -Bill R., New York City

 "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as
  14 of us waited for the fifth box."
      -Ben G., Denver

 "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed
  "BULLSHIT!" for the third time in two hours."

Top
Subj:     Company Colors Quiz (S638d)
         From: AOL.com on 4/4/2009
Drawing from WalletPop.com
 Source: http://www.walletpop.com/quizzes/company-colors-quiz

 Do you know which colors twenty famous companies use in
 their logos?  Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for
 my copy, to test your knowledge.

Top
Subj:     Office Printer's Type Grows Faint (S333)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 5/27/2003

 When the office printer's type began to grow faint, the
 office manager called a local repair shop where a friendly
 man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be
 cleaned.  Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings,
 he said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual
 and doing the job himself.

 Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager
 asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

 "Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We
 usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to
 fix things themselves first."


Subj:     Short Job-Stuff Files
 

Top
Subj:     Huggies Commercial (S683 in Headlines-Supp)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 2/17/2010
 Source: http://www.buffaloschips.com/o8u.htm

 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy,
 to see this wonderful Huggies commercial about
 a hard day.
 

Top
Subj:     Bud Light Clothing Drive 2010 (S682) 
          From: ginafm
          on 2/5/2010 (in Drinking-Supp)
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXrnV_PoJMU
 Source2: http://link.brightcove.com/services
........../player/bcpid1125919467?bctid=63259762001
 Click on either, above source, or 'HERE' for my copy,
 to see the cute, nude Bud Light commercial.
 

Top
Subj:     Work Harder Bumper Sticker (S672b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/24/2009
 Source: http://www.buffaloschips.com/oiw34j.htm
 

Top
Subj:     Can You Pass The Google Test? (S621b)
          From: FortuneOnCNNMoney.com on 12/2/2008
Drawing from Google Image Search
 Source: http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/fortune
........./0701/quiz.googlequiz/frameset.exclude.html
 No company has taken brainteaser recruiting quite as far
 as Google.  Take this six-question quiz at the above source
 to see how Google knowledgeable you are.
 

Top
Subj:     North Dakota Oil (S620c)
          From: aldavito on 11/25/2008
Drawing from DomesticFuel.com...
 Source: http://www.snopes.com/politics/gasoline/bakken.asp
 This U.S. Geological Service report of oil in North Dakota
 is interesting, but it's stated estimate of 500 billion
 barrels is too high according to Snopes.com.  You can
 read the article at the above source, or on my web site
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     GS1 Bar Codes (S619c)
          From: gordonschuk on 10/26/2008
Bar code from Adams1.com
 Source1: http://www.gs1.org/productssolutions
........../barcodes/support/prefix_list.html
 Source2: http://www.adams1.com/pub/russadam/upccode.html
 Have you ever wondered the origin of a produce you bought?
 If you learn to read the first three digits of a GS1
 Bar Code you would know which country has shipped your
 purchase.  The 692 in the above bar code tells you
 that this produce was shipped from China.  Click 'HERE'
 to learn all the shipping locations.
 

Top
Subj:     What's Your Work Style? (S615)
          By M. WOLFE, AOL FIND A JOB
          From: AOL Find a Job on 10/23/2008
Photo from AOL.com
Source: http://jobs.aol.com/article/_a/whats-your-work-style
......../20080925115109990001?icid=200100397x1211598102x1200690505
 Are you in a job that suits you?  How about your work
 environment?  Take this four-question quiz from AOL to
 help you determine your work type.  The quiz will help
 you "think out of the box" as you consider your many
 options.  You can take the quiz at the above source,
 or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Lunch On The Skyscraper - PPS (S607)
          Photos by Charles Ebbets on 8/23/2008
          Part of the Bettmann Collection
 Most of the photos in this PowerPoint Show daily depict
 scenes of the workers who participated in the construction
 of the skyscrapers between 1920 and 1935.  As you will see,
 the safety measures were somewhat peculiar and the photos
 were done trying to play down that situation.

 The photos were taken on the 69th floor of the 70 floor of
 the GE building in the Rockefeller Center.

 These photos are part of the 11 million photos in the
 Bettmann file which belongs to the Corbis company, property
 of Bill Gates.

 Click 'HERE' to see this PowerPoint Show.
 

Top
Subj:    Foolish Trivia (S579b thru S669b)
          From: The Contra Costa Times on 2/25/2008
Animated GIF from gordonschuk...
 Can you name these seventy well-known companies.
 Click 'HERE'to test your skills.

Top
Subj:     More Foolish Trivia (S671b thru ???)
          From: The Contra Costa Times on 11/16/2009
I copied w/GIF Construction Set
 Can you name these fifty-one well-known companies.
 Click 'HERE' to test your skills.
 

Top
Subj:     Sexual Harassment (S440b, S614)
          From: darrell94590 on 7/3/2005
      and From: mauryschu on 10/18/2008
 In this day of people being a little sensitive about what
 "sexual harassment" really is, I thought I'd pass along
 this example.

 Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady
 standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of
 air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

 After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes
 her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department
 and states that she wants to write a sexual harassment
 grievance against him.

 The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision
 and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker
 telling you your hair smells nice?"

 The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget.
 

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Subj:     Creative Advertising (S541c in Sign-Supp)
          From: jbcary1
          on 5/24/2007
 These twelve, impressive, outdoor ads can be viewed on my
 web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Running Out of Typing Paper S394b)
          From: Imogenelumen on 8/11/2004
 Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
 One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
 "I'm almost out of typing paper.

 "What do I do?"

 "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.

 With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece
 of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
 five "blank" copies.
 

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Subj:     Work Place Dangers - PPS (S553c)
          From: ginafm
          on 8/20/2007
 This 700 KB Power Point Show contains seven cute, silly
 photos.  You can view it on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Buying A Thermometer (S373)
          From: Imogenelumen on 3/26/2004
 On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to
 the thermometer section.  Purchase a rectal thermometer made
 by Johnson and Johnson.  Be sure you get this brand.

 When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and
 disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.  Change
 into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite
 chair, open the package and remove the thermometer.  Now,
 carefully place it on a table or surface so that it will
 not become chipped or broken.

 Now the fun part begins -  Take out the literature and
 read it carefully.  You will notice that in small print
 there is a statement, "Every rectal thermometer made by
 Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"

 Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so
 glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."
 

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Subj:     Maxine On Being A Consultant (S537b)
          From: darrell94590
         on 5/3/2007
 You can view this very witty, but true, cartoon on my web
 site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Anal Glaucoma (S369)
          From: Grampsboyd on 2/12/2004
 (I always knew there was a medical term for it!)
 Employee....."I'm sorry but I can't come in today.  I am
 suffering from Anal Glaucoma."

 Boss........"Anal Glaucoma?    What's that?"

 Employee...."I just can't see my ass coming to work!"
 

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Subj:    Painted Ceiling In The Smoking Area (S518b)
         From: auntiegah
        on 12/19/2006
 This is a very creative way to get smokers to think about
 quitting.  You cam view this ceiling on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Definition Of A Committee (S358b)
          From: zzarry on 12/7/2003
          (See 'Committee' in WORD_JOKES2)
 What is a committee? A group of the unwilling,
 picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
   -- Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
 

Top
Subj:     Non Sequitur Cartoon II (DU)
          By Wiley Miller
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2014/09/01
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Subj:     Office Arithmetic (S453b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 9/22/2005
 Smart boss + smart employee = profit
 Smart boss + dumb employee = production
 Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
 Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
 

Top
Subj:     Company Summer Party (S503b)
          From: samhutkins
          on 9/13/2006
 This cute story and picture can be viewed on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Mooning The Boss (S502)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 8/30/2006
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19940728
 You van view this cute cartoon at the source above, or on my
 web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Crew Practice At The Office (S495b,d)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 7/20/20
 Source: http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=439
 This silly, stupid, cute video clip is just 16 seconds long.
 You can view it at the above source, or on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Riding The Market - GIF (S489b)
          From:LABLaughsClean
          on 5/31/2006
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19950625
 You can view this cute animated GIF at the source above, or
 on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     How To Get Days Off Work (S486)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 5/18/2006
 I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss
 would not allow me to take a leave.  I thought that maybe
 if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days
 off.

 So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises.

 My co-worker asked me what I was doing?  I told her that I
 was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would
 think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

 A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked
 "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.  He
 said "You are clearly stressed out.  Go home and recuperate
 for a couple of days."

 I jumped down and walked out of the office.  When my co-worker
 followed me, the Boss said to her, "And where do you think
 you're going?"

 She said, "I'm obviously going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
 

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Subj:     Christmas Season Store Sign (S465b)
          From: LABLaughsClean20051208 
          on 12/8/2005
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19981023
 You can view this cute store sign at the source above, or on
 my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Workplace Safety Winners (S362)
          From: gheckman on 12/30/2003
 The pictures of the four 'Workplace Safety Winners' can
 be found on my web site at
 http://jokelibrary.150m.com/yyPictures/work2.html#safety
 or click 'Here' to see it in this file.
 

Top
Subj:     WorkEthicEvaluation (S324b)
          From: RFSlick
          on 4/10/2003
 To check your work ethic go to my web site by
 clicking 'Here'.
 

From: LABLaughs.com on 5/14/2003 (S328b)
 Boldness in business is the first, second, and third thing.
   -- Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661)

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/3/2003 (S331b)
 In a knowledge-driven economy, talk is real work.
   -- Thomas Davenport and Laurence Prusak

From: igiggle on 2/6/2004 (S367b)
 A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.
   -- John le Carre

From: Zackit Vallejo Electronics on 04/10/2005 (S429b - stranded)
  The only person
     who always
  Got all the work
   Done by Friday
   Was Robinson Crusoe.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/25/2005 (S435b)
 The great successful men of the world have used their
 imagination they think ahead and create their mental
 picture in all its details, filling in here, adding a
 little there, altering this a bit and that a bit, but
 steadily building - steadily building.
   -- Robert Collier

From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/2/2005 (S462b)
 Bosses are like legs.
 When they get to the top, they become asses.

From: LABLaughsClean on 5/1/2006 (S484b)
 "Everyone rises to their level of incompetence."
    -- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988), "The Peter Principle"

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/28/2006 (S515b)
 "No man needs a vacation so much as the man
  who has just had one."  -- Elbert Hubbard

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.............................From Smiley_Central
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