Subj:     Sailor/Marine Jokes
                 (Includes 31 jokes and articles, 29 1029,14,cif,wXT4b,10)

Pirate from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Popeye Village - Malta (S942)
.........................Blue Angels - Cockpit Footage (S1029)
.........................Pirates of the Caribbean - TV Clip (S951)
.........................Pirate With Wooden Leg, Hook, And Patch (S130, S756)
.........................Blue Angels w/On Board Cameras In HD (S856d)
.........................Military Balls (S48)
.........................Admirals Directions To His Daughter (S179)
.........................USS Arizona Pearl Harbor Burial Service - Videos (S837)
.........................A Sailor Gets A Harmonica (S197)
.........................Captain Bravo And The Pirates (S193, S455)
.........................US Navy Drill Team In Norway - Video (S524)
.........................Is Sex Work Or Pleasure? (S581b, S892)
.........................Why Is It We Have To Speak English? (S436, S633)
.........................Marine Corps Top Shots Photo (S876)
.........................How To Simulate Being A Sailor (S355b)
.........................Marine And Sailor At Urnals (S73)
.........................WW II, Sinking and Rescue of USS Indianapolis (S1020)
.........................Boy Wears Sailor's Hat In Restroom (S73)
.........................Sailor Gets Horney At Sea (S179)
.........................Bizarro Cartoon (S637b)
.........................101 Reasons Why I'm Leaving The Navy (S342b)
.........................Sailor Riddle
                         Short Sailor/Marine Jokes
..............................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S748)
..............................Popeye The Sailor In 'Blow Me Down' - Cartoon (S702)
..............................Chief And Admiral Get Shaves (S192)
..............................The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S650b)
..............................Auth Political Cartoon (S638)
..............................Retired Sailor And The Prostitute (S254b, S583b)
..............................Why We Are Here (S321)
..............................Terrorist Catch And Release Program (S311)

Also see ALLIGATOR    - 'Alligator Shoes'
.........ASIAN-CHINESE- 'NCIS Chinese Fortune'
         BIRTHDAY file- 'You Always Have A Birthday'
         ELDERLY2 file- 'Old Man And Punk Rocker On A Bus'
         GAY file     - 'Sailor Needs A Hotel Room'
         JOB3 file    - 'Job Evaluations'
         MOVIES2-SUPP - 'NCIS - Gibbs Rules' - Video
......................- 'NCIS Funny Moments Part 3' Video
         POLICE file  - 'Defective Radar'
         REDHEAD file - 'Two Salors Talk About Girls'
         SHIP file    - 'USS New York'
......................- 'Woman Stowaway On Ship'
         SOLDIERS1    - 'LBJ Requests Two Lieutenants'
......................- 'Boy Scout Troop Visits Army Base'
         SPEECHES-SUPP- '10 Life Lessons From A Navy Seal'
         TRAIN file   - 'Army-Navy Football Train'

Subj:     Popeye Village - Malta (S942)
          From: tom on 1/22/2015
 Source: http://onebigphoto.com/popeye-village-malta/
.......Popeye Village Malta has grown from its days as a Film Set of the 1980
.......Musical Production 'Popeye' into one of the major tourist attractions.

Subj:     Blue Angels - Cockpit Footage (S1029)
          From: AFine963 on 9/26/2016

 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/u4D0yx4DvBk

 Click 'HERE' to see this insane footage takes You iside the cockpit.
Subj:     Pirates of the Caribbean (S951d)
          Made by: Disney Parks
          From: Lisa Mays on Facebook
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/uof_fMbGyIM

 The swashbuckling Pirates of the Caribbean (and the Blue Bayou)
 took Disneyland by storm 48 years ago, in March 1967.  In this
 video, Walt Disney, tellin' the tale a how Pirates of the
 Caribbean came to be.  Click 'HERE' to see this very, nostalgic
 clip from TV.
Subj:     Pirate With Wooden Leg, Hook, And Patch (S130, S756)
          From: collins2 on 5/31/99
      and From: drgolfmd on 5/20/2004

 An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take
 turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's
 peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, "So, how did you
 end up with the peg-leg?"

 The pirate replies, "We was caught in a monster storm off the
 cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were
 pullin' me out a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit
 me leg off, arrr".

 "Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook"?

 "Ahhhh...", mused the pirate, "We were boardin' a trader ship,
 pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the
 fracas, a  bastard cut off me bloody hand!""

 "Zounds!",  remarked the seaman.

 "And how came ye by the eye patch?"

 "Well I was up in the crow's nest eh, and I looked up to spy
 this seagull" says the pirate's pirate, "and the damn ting
 shit reet in me eye".

 "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked

 "Well..." said the pirate, "Arr...first day wit me 'ook."

Subj:     Blue Angels w/On Board Cameras In HD (S856d)
          By Calbear94
          From: darrelldre on 6/2/2013
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/W6tB8Lf7YoU

 This is a tribute to the United States Navy Flight Demonstration
 Team - The Blue Angels.  Great perspective with much of it filmed
 from the cockpit.  You see the formation then see it from the
 pilot or camera view. It is in HD, and was recorded in FL. and
 El Centro, CA.  The music is NOT Van Halen.  Click 'HERE' to see
 this great video.

Subj:     Military Balls (S48)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/29/97

 A marine general, an army general and an navy admiral were
 discussing who has the toughest men one day.  The army general
 goes, "Alright, I'll prove the army's got the toughest men in
 the country.  Private get over here!"  The private reports as
 ordered - "Yes sir?"  The general goes "See that man over
 there?  Kill him!"  Without hesitating the private kills the
 man.  The general goes "See? That man has balls!"

 The marine general goes "That's nothing!  Private get over
 here!"  The marine private reports "Yes sir?"  The general
 goes "See that man over there?  Kill him and then yourself!"
 Without blinking the marine private pulls out his m-16 and
 blows away the guy and turns the rifle on himself and unloads
 several rounds.  The marine general goes "See?  Now that man
 has balls!"

 The admiral says, "That's nothing" he calls to a seaman high
 up on a tower, "Hey seaman!  Jump off that tower!" the seaman
 goes "Excuse me sir?"  The admiral repeats,"JUMP OFF THAT
 TOWER!"  The seaman replies "Fuck you sir!"

 The admiral goes, "See? That man has balls and he's got
 brains too!"

Subj:     Admirals Directions To His Daughter (S179)

 An admiral says to his daughter, darling if you ever marry a
 sailor, promise me you won't do it the other way. She says
 yes daddy (not really knowing what he meant).  Anyway time
 goes by and she is about to marry a sailor, the father says,
 darling, you will promise me that you will not do it the other
 way, yes daddy she says(again not knowing what he meant).  Six
 months later, whilst the sex was fantastic, she turns to her
 husband in bed and says, honey, do you think we could do it
 the other way ? What, he replies, and risk having babies !

Subj:     USS Arizona Pearl Harbor Burial Service
          From: sam.hutkins on 1/23/2013 (S837d)
 Source: http://www.nps.gov/valr/faqs.htm

 Crewmembers who were assigned to the USS Arizona on December 7,
 1941, have the right to have their cremated remains interred
 inside the barbette of gun turret four by National Park Service
 divers. These two videos explains this emotional, moving,
 burial at sea.

Click 'HERE' to see the Park Service's
explanation of this service.


Click 'HERE' to see a son's reaction to
his farther being reunited with his fellow

 crewmembers on board the USS Arizona.
Subj:     A Sailor Gets A Harmonica (S197)
          From: BartendJOTD-owner on 11/09/2000

 A newly married sailor was informed by the navy that he was
 going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island
 in the Pacific for a year.  A few weeks after he got there he
 began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

 "My love," he wrote "we are going to be apart for a very long
 time.  Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really
 not much to do here in the evenings.  Besides that we're
 constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls.  Do
 you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not tempted?"

 So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "why don't you
 learn to play this?"

 Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back
 to his wife.  "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to make passionate
 love with you!"

 She kissed him and said, "First let's see you play that

Subj:     Captain Bravo And The Pirates (S193, S455)
          From: PGM2R4U on 10/5/00
      and From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 10/10/2005

 Long ago, there lived a sailor named Captain Bravo.  He was
 a real man, who showed no fear when facing his enemies.

 One day, while sailing the seven seas, his lookout spotted
 a pirate ship, and  the crew became frantic.  Captain Bravo
 bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

 The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt,
 and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the captain
 led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates.  That
 evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the
 day's triumph. One of them asked the captain, "Sir, why did
 you call for your red shirt before battle?"  The captain
 replied, "If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not
 show my blood.  Thus, you men will continue to fight,

 All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a
 real man.

 As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one,
 not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching.  The crew stared
 in worshipful silence at the captain and waited for his
 usual orders.  Captain Bravo gazed with steely eyes upon
 the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear,
 turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants!"

Subj:     US Navy Drill Team In Norway (S524d)
          From: darrell94590 on 1/26/2007
 Source1: https://www.youtube.com/embed/xWGU3mpfRoM
 Source2: https://www.youtube.com/embed/OgcGNDxuyoI

 This video is the US Navy Presidential Ceremonial Honor
 Guard Drill Team's live performance at the Norwegian
 International Tatto in Oslo, Norway. Uploaded May 5,06.
 It is well worth a trip to the internet.  You can see it
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Is Sex Work Or Pleasure? (S581b, S892)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/7/2008
      and From: tom on 2/4/2014
 (Also see 'Sex...Work Or Play?' in Jewish-Rabbi)

 The Ship's Captain was about to start the morning briefing
 to his Staff and Ships Officers.

 While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing,
 he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained
 that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he
 failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the
 question of just how much of sex was 'work' and
 how much of it was 'pleasure?'

 A Deck Officer chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

 A Engineering Officer said it was 50-50%.

 A Chief Warrant Officer responded with 25-75% in favor
 of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at
 the time.

 There being no consensus, the Admiral turned to the seaman
 who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

 With no hesitation, the young seaman responded, "Sir, it has
 to be 100% pleasure."

 The Captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked

 "Well, Sir," began the seaman, "if there was any work
 involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

 The room fell silent.
 God Bless the Sailors, who run things!

Subj:     Why Is It We Have To Speak English? (S436, S633)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/29/2005

 A  U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that
 included admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian
 and French Navies.  At a cocktail reception, he found himself
 standing with a group of half dozen or so officers that included
 personnel from most of the countries.

 Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their
 drinks, but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas
 Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.
 He then asked: "Why is it that we always have to speak English
 in these conferences rather than speaking French?"

 Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: Maybe it's
 because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged
 it so you wouldn't have to speak German."

Subj:     Corps Top Shots Photo (S876d)
          From: Laney Huda on Facebook on 10/18/2013
Drawing from Marines Facebook Page
 Marines Facebook Page at

 Corps Top Shots 2012 (Photo Of The Week Winners) at

 Corps Top Shots 2013 (Photo Of The Week Winners) at

 Winning photos in the Corps Top Shot competition are selected by
 the fans on the Marines Facebook page.

 You voted and this week's Corps Top Shot comes from Lance Cpl.
 John Tran.  He captured this photo as Marines with Marine Wing
 Support Squadron 171 shielded their faces as sand was stirred
 up after a CH-53E Super Stallion Helicopter take-off.

 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful photo.

Subj:     How To Simulate Being A Sailor (S355b)
          From: jokes on 11/11/2003

 Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and
 live in it for six months.

 Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.

 Repaint your entire house every month.

 Renovate your bathroom.  Build a wall across the middle of
 the bathtub and move the shower head to chest level.  When
 you take showers, make sure you turn off the water while
 you soap down.

 Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

 Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making
 sure the wind carries the soot onto your neighbor's house.
 Ignore his complaints.

 Once a month, take all major appliances apart and then
 reassemble them.

 Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front
 and back doors, so that you either trip or bang your head
 every time you pass through them.

 Disassemble and inspect your lawnmower every week.

 On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn your water
 heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and
 Thursdays, turn the water heater off.

 On Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they use too
 much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed.

 Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you
 can't turn over without getting out and then getting back in.

 Sleep on the shelf in your closet.  Replace the closet door
 with a curtain.  Have your spouse whip open the curtain
 about 3 hours after you go to sleep, shine a flashlight in
 your eyes, and say "Sorry, wrong rack".

 Make your family qualify to operate each appliance in your
 house - dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc.

 Find the dumbest guy in the neighborhood and make him your
 boss for the next two years.

 Lower all shower heads to not more than four and one-half
 feet off the deck and be sure the tops of all mirrors are
 no more than four and one-half feet high as well.  Tell your
 family members that hunching to look in the mirror is really
 natural.  Then yell "Attention on deck" when the cat walks
 by to see how quickly they can assume a full upright position.

 Have your neighbor come over each day at 5 am, blow a whistle
 so loud Helen Keller could hear it, and shout "Reveille,
 reveille, all hands heave out and trice up".

 Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to
 do the following day, then have her make you stand in your
 back yard at 6 a.m. while she reads it to you.

 Submit a request chit to your father-in-law requesting
 permission to leave your house before 3 pm.

 Empty all the garbage bins in your house and sweep the
 driveway three times a day, whether it needs it or not.

 Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read
 your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item before
 delivering it to you.

 Watch no TV except for movies played in the middle of the
 night.  Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then
 show a different one.

 When your children are in bed, run into their room with a
 megaphone shouting that your home is under attack and
 ordering them to their battle stations.

 Make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting
 the pantry or refrigerator.

 Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that
 they are having steak for dinner.  Then make them wait in
 line for an hour.  When they finally get to the kitchen, tell
 them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot
 dogs.  Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and just ask
 for hot dogs.

 Bake a cake.  Prop up one side of the pan so the cake bakes
 unevenly. Spread icing real thick to level it off.

 Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter
 and jelly sandwich on stale bread.

 Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night.
 At the alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you can, making
 sure to button your top shirt button and tuck your pants
 into your socks.  Run out into the back yard and uncoil the
 garden hose.

 Every week or so, throw your cat or dog in the pool and
 shout "Man overboard port side!"  Rate your family members
 on how fast they respond.

 Put the headphones from your stereo on your head, but don't
 plug them in.  Hang a paper cup around your neck on a
 string.  Stand in front of the stove, and speak into the
 paper cup "Stove manned and ready."  After an hour or so,
 speak into the cup again "Stove secured."  Roll up the
 headphones and paper cup and stow them in a shoebox.

 Place a podium at the end of your driveway.  Have your
 family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4 hour
 intervals. This is best done when the weather is worst.
 January is a good time.

 When there is a thunderstorm in your area, get a wobbly
 rocking chair, sit in it and rock as hard as you can
 until you become nauseous.  Make sure to have a supply
 of stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

 For former engineers: bring your lawn mower into the
 living room, and run it all day long.

 Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget priced coffee
 grounds per pot, and allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours
 before drinking.

 Have someone under the age of ten give you a haircut with
 sheep shears.

 Sew the back pockets of your jeans on the front.

 Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and
 go to the scummiest part of town.  Find the most run down,
 trashiest bar, and drink beer until you are hammered.
 Then walk all the way home.

 Take a two week vacation visiting the red light districts
 of Europe or the Far East, and call it "world travel".

 Lock yourself and your family in the house for six weeks.
 Tell them that at the end of the 6th week you are going
 to take them to Disney World for" liberty."  At the end
 of the 6th week, inform them the trip to Disney World has
 been canceled because they need to get ready for an
 inspection, and it will be another week before they can
 leave the house.

 Who's ready to go back to sea?

Subj:     Marine And Sailor At Urnals (S73)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #256 on 98-06-26

 A Marine walks in the restroom and sees a Sailor standing
 at the urinal, fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants.

 The Marine says, "It must be a pain in the ass to have to
 mess with all those buttons every time you take a piss."

 The sailor replies, "Yes it is! If I were a Marine, all I'd
 have to do is take off my hat."

Subj:    Sinking and Rescue of USS Indianapolis 
         From: Roger Ford on 7/30/2016 (S1020)

 At: http://www.youtube.com/embed/r5U28hFNQ_k

 In 1945, days after unloading vital components of the atomic
 bomb "Little Boy" on Tinian, the heavy cruiser USS Indianapolis
 was struck by two Japanese torpedoes.  The ship sank in 12
 minutes, causing over 900 members of her crew to abandon ship
 in shark-infested waters. The survivors awaited rescue for
 four days and five nights.  Click 'HERE' to hear their story.

Subj:     Boy Wears Sailor's Hat In Restroom (S73)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #255 on 98-06-20

 In a restaraunt between San Diego and Camp Pendleton, a
 young boy was playing in the restroom sink when a sailor
 came in.

 "Wow Mister!" said the boy, "Are you a REAL sailor?"

 "Yes I am! Why, would you like to wear my hat?" replied
 the sailor.

 "Neato! Thanks mister!" said the boy, donning the hat
 and continuing to play in the sink.

 Shortly after the sailor entered a stall, a Marine came in.

 "Wow Mister!" said the boy, "Are you a REAL Marine?"

 "Yes, I am kid. Why, do you want to suck my dick?" replied
 the Marine.

 "Oh gosh no mister! I'm not a REAL sailor, I'm just wearing
 the hat!"

Subj:     Sailor Gets Horney At Sea (S179)

 The sailor asked the captain after 3 weeks on the sea if he
 could go ashore to se a woman?  No- said the captain we are
 in the middle of the Atlantic Ocan and there ar no women here.
 The next day the sailor again asked the captain because his
 needs were wery getting ugrent.  In that case, the captain
 said you have to do with the black cook like we all do.

 Maybe, the sailor said, but it has to be a secret between you
 and me and the cook.  Impossible, the captain said, it takes
 seven guys to hold him.

Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (S637b)
          By Dan Piraro on 4/13/2008
Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/april-13-2009/
Subj:     101 Reasons Why I'm Leaving The Navy (S342b)
          From: hellgunner50 on 8/16/2003

  1. One word - deployment.
  2. Two words - political correctness.
  3. Three words - Politics, politics, politics.
  4. Four words - Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
  5. Selective enforcement of the UCMJ.
  6. Senior leadership out of touch with the deck plate sailors.
  7. What ever happened to loyalty?
  8. TQL. What a load of BULLSHIT!
  9. Process improvement. More Bull Shit.
 10. Smokers have been victimized while
     pole smokers have been glorified.
 11. Little support or understanding from Congress
     or the American public.
 12. So called "Leaders" punching their ticket
     for the next rank.
 13. Mission first, sailors whenever it's convenient.
 14. Peacetime mentality.
 15. The Training Time Out.
 16. Increasing cynicism.
 17. The Generation X sailor (the word "sailor" used loosely).
 18. It's better-to-look-good-than-be-good mentality.
 19. Failure to meet recruiting goals (not even close).
 20. What the hell were the recruiters thinking?
 21. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
 22. Too many feel-good buzzwords.
 23. Inflated Evals.
 24. Ranking Boards.
 25. Fraternization. Once it meant I couldn't sleep
     with an officer or my boss.  Now, I'm never sure
     who I can safely talk to.
 26. Not being able to hurt someone's feelings even
     when they are wrong.
 27. Your chain of command not supporting you when you
     are right and the law is on your side. It just may
     look wrong.
 28. Personnel shortages.
 29. Command and higher staffs at 100% while everyone
     else suffers.
 30. 200% increase in workload, budget only 60% of what
     it was 2 years ago, staffing at 50%. You do the
 31. Everyone saying it will get better and it hasn't
     for the past several years.
 32. Peers telling me it's bad everywhere - it isn't
     just me.
 33. A draft dodging Liar in the White House using us
     to get his ass out of a scandal by bombing innocent
     3rd world countries.
 34. Email on the ship - you can't get away, ever.
 35. Very few people willing to tell it like it is and
     take the ass chewing anyway.
 36. Leading by committee (Moses would STILL be
     wandering around).
 37. Morale in a tailspin.
 38. The Bullshit-O-meter - pegged at 100%.
 39. No one is saying how great things are.
 40. Tired of trying to make a difference and nobody cares.
 41. "That's the way we've always done it here."
 42. The new PT standards. How the fuck can you pass
     and still be on Mando PT?!
 43. How many times have we been to Kuwait since 1991
     and we STILL haven't kicked Saddam's ass?
 44. The slow death of the warrior spirit
     (death by hugging).
 45. Coffin racks.
 46. Lousy food, even on shore duty.
 47. Ghetto living conditions for our sailors living in
     the barracks.
 48. Our junior sailors being treated like little kids.
 49. Our junior sailors acting like little kids.
 50. Our senior leadership not being held accountable
     for their actions.
 52. No good deed goes unpunished.
 53. If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.
 54. This ain't fun anymore.
 55. I love the Navy more than it loves me.
 56. Sexual Harassment training.
 57. Whine and you're the center of attention.
     Do your job and you are ignored.
 58. Zero defects mentality.
 59. The incompetents get promoted because they are
     placed in jobs with no risks and no decisions to go
 60. No more nudie mags at the NEX.
 61. Anyone with a personality beaten until they fit
     the mold.
 62. Officers, Chiefs and Petty Officers leaving with
     15 Years in.  There's more happening here than just a
     good economy.
 63. The arbitrary means of awarding Navy Achievement
     Medals and other awards.
 64. Being encouraged to think outside the box, then
     being ridiculed for doing so.
 65. At sea or in the field, I'm a medical professional
     entrusted with the life of my shipmates.  On shore, I'm
     just some flunky, fetching and steppin' for a nurse.
 66. Duty. Especially when it's a pointless phone watch.
 67. Sleazy election officials not allowing an absentee
     ballot to be counted due to a missing postmark.
 68. Phone answering machines.
 69. Voice mail.
 70. E-Mail instead of talking to each other,
     especially when it comes from next door.
 71. I'm sick and tired of fixing other people's
 72. EEO being used as a weapon to destroy a senior who
     wants you to do your duty and obey orders.
 73. EEO allowing themselves to be used because they
     are afraid it will come back on them.
 74. Good Sailors being harassed and put out of the
     Navy because they are fat, while shit-birds are kept
     in because they are thin.
 75. Senior Officers never failing a PRT, even though
     the most casual observer can see that they are fat
     bastards by any standard.
 76. Junior sailors retained in the Navy after being
     caught doing drugs.  WHAT THE FUCK DOES ZERO TOLERENCE
 77. Inequality in the treatment of single mothers and
     single fathers.
 78. Having a beer with the troops was once a way to
     pass on some of our traditions and form a cohesive
     unit bonds. Now it's a crime.
 79. Admiral Mike Borda killed himself rather than
     bring shame or dishonor on the Navy. Gore won't even
     concede that he lost an election.
 80. I still remember what actually happened on the USS
     Iowa and how the Senior Leadership tried to fuck a
     junior sailor for their mistakes.
 81. Ships are routinely sent to ports where the
     terrorists have threatened to bomb us and the CO is
     not advised of the threat.
 82. Ass kissers and boot lickers.
 83. "The cream always rises to the top, but shit
     floats as well."
 84. Do you HAVE to be a brain donor to make policy, or
     is it an option?
 85. I never was a "morning person."
 86. Moving my family and belongings every 4 years sucks.
 87. Navy housing is nice, but can be accurately
     described as "Psycho Central."
 88. My sea stories don't seem so funny anymore.
 89. The thrill is gone.
 90. Forty percent retirement.
 91. Steadily eroding benefits.
 92. No guarantee of health care for retirees.
 93. Making retirees pay for Tricare Prime, then
     treating them like second class citizens.
 94. Tricare.
 95. The civilian-military pay gap.
 96. Sailors on food stamps.
 97. Congress can always legislate less retirement and
 98. Not enough money to repair or maintain our fleet.
 99. The 300% increase in operating tempo with 50% less
100. If you can succeed in the Navy, you can succeed
101. I've spent 20 years defending this country. My
     debt to America is PAID IN FULL!

Subj:     Sailor Riddle
         From: LABLaughs.com on 6/16/2002

Why is the letter D like a sailor?

Scroll down for the answer
Here it comes


Because it follows the C

Subj:     Short Sailor/Marine Jokes

Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S748)
          By Bob Thaves on 5/16/2011
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2011/05/16
Subj:     Popeye The Sailor In 'Blow Me Down' 
          From: www.ToonHeads.tv (S702d)
          on 7/1/2010 ( in Cartoon-Supp)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/DYF8lOY7wig
 This Popeye cartoon original aired on October 27 1933.
 Popeye sails into Mexico where Olive is doing the
 Mexican hat dance in a bar.  He enjoys the show until
 Bluto comes in and clears the bar except for Popeye.
 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful, old, black and
 white cartoon.

Subj:     Chief And Admiral Get Shaves (S192)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 9/30/00
 (Also see 'Bush And Clinton At The Barbershop' in BARBER)
 A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop.
 They were both just getting finished with their shaves--the
 barbers were reaching for some after-shave to slap on their
 faces.  The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on
 me! My wife will think I've been in a cathouse!"

 The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put
 it on.  My wife doesn't know what the inside of a cathouse
 smells like.

Subj:     The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S650b)
          by Glenn and Gary McCoy on 6/23/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/theflyingmccoys/2009/06/23
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute cartoon.

Subj:     Retired Sailor And The Prostitute (S254b, S583b)
          From: ICohen on 12/13/2001
      and From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/20/2008
 An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads
 for the docks once  more for old times sake.  He engages
 a prostitute and takes her up to a room.  He's soon
 going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but
 needing some reassurance, he asks, "How am I doing?"

 The prostitute replies, "Well old sailor, you're doing
 about three knots."

 "Three knots?" he asks, "What's that supposed to mean?"

 She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're
 knot getting your money-back!

Subj:     Auth Political Cartoon (S638)
          By Tony Auth on 4/23/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/tonyauth/2009/04/23
 In this political cartoon, Dick Cheney explains
 how to determine the age of a Somali pirate.
 Click 'HERE' to see it.

Subj:     Why We Are Here (S321)
          From: JBCARY1 on 3/28/2003
 This is the side of the USS Iwo Jima as it
 headed to the Persian Gulf. "Lest we forget ...".
 You can view it by clicking 'Here.

Subj:     Terrorist Catch And Release Program (S311)
          From: JBCARY1 on 1/17/2003
 The picture 'Terrorist Catch  Release Program' is
 definitely a classic.  Click 'Here' to see it.

US Navy Saying from Jim Garrett in about 2001 (S435b)
 Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance

                           -(o o)-
.............................drunk Sailor from Smiley_Central