.
.
>>>
Subj:     Other Occupations
                 (Includes 40 jokes and articles, 03 1016,18,cf,wYT2a3,15)

          Click "Here" for Other-Occup-Supp
          Click "Here" for Other-Occup-Supp2
 


Man Reading Paper  from
Animated GIF Finder
Includes the following:  Smoke Magic By Shin Lim On Penn & Teller - Video (S966-Sup2)
.........................Peanut and Jeff-fa-fa Dun-ham - Video (S1012 in Supp2)
.........................Mr. Stix, A Marionette - Shorn Film (S953 in Supp2)
.........................The Hypnotist (S448 in Supp2)
.........................Drugs - Synchronized Juggling - Video (S982 in Supp2)
.........................Ana Yang Gazillion Bubble Show - Video (S943 in Supp2)
.........................Photographer's Test In Florida (S500b in Supp2)
.........................Benny The Beach Bum Comic Strip (S1015 in Supp2)
.........................Darcy Oake's Jaw-Dropping Dove Illusions - Video (S946-Sup2)
.........................Lady Talks To Pharmacist (S371b in Supp2)
.........................Plumber Camouflage - Photo (S1016 in Supp2)
.........................
.........................Modern Soup Line - Drawing (S941 in Supp)
.........................The Lottery Illusion - Video (S882 in Supp)
.........................Smoothini on America's Got Talent - Video (S941 in Supp)
.........................Juggler Alexander Koblikov - Video (S869 in Supp)
.........................The Ellen DeGeneres Show; James Galea - Video (S865 in Supp)
.........................Miyoko Shida Performs Sanddornbalance - Video (S862 - Supp)
.........................Brynolf And Ljung Fool Penn And Teller - Video (S864d - Sup)
.........................Ventriloquist Nina Conti At The Apollo - Video (S856 - Supp)
.........................Teller Performing 'Shadows' - Video (S792 in Supp)
.........................Michael Davis Juggles At Ford's Theater - Video (S835 -Supp)
.........................Hans Klok 5 minute Illusion Challenge - Video (S811 in Supp)
.........................Helena Vlahos - Nine Quarters Act - Video (S791 in Supp)
.........................Contortionists In A Cube - Video (S776 in Supp)
.........................The Greatest Card Trick Ever - Video (S790 in Supp)
.........................World Magic Awards 2009 - Double Fantasy Duo - Vid (S776-Sup)
.........................Nick Einhorn On The Penn And Teller Show - Video (S773 -Supp)
.........................Funniest Magic Trick On Penn And Teller - Video (S756 in Sup)
.........................Mathieu Bich Fools Penn and Teller - Video (S755 in Supp)
.........................French Marionette Plays And Sings - Videos (S750 in Supp)
.........................Paul Zerdin, Ventriloquist Without A Dummy - Video (S731-Sup)
.........................Watch Till End: Best Job Ever - Video (S713b in Supp)
.........................Greatest Ventriloq.: Ray Allen w/"Lord Charles"-Vid(S699b-Sp)
.........................Terry Fator And His Puppet Friends - Videos (S685 in Supp)
.........................An Actor Gets A Part (S641b in Supp)
.........................Kevin James' Magic - Video (S617 in Supp)
.........................Magician Kevin James Performs - Video (S863 in Supp)
.........................Kevin James' Magic *Explanation* - Video (S617 in Supp)
.........................Where's the Road? (S676b in Supp)
.........................PushOver Plunge Commercials (S922 in Supp)
.........................Keith Barry: Extraordinary - Video (S842 in Supp)
.........................
.........................Willie Nelson's Card Trick (S967d)
.........................Dancing Skeleton Pan Handler - Video (S515b)
.........................Grocery Store Manager Stops Thief (S581)
.........................Feisty Old Lady Vs The Electrician (S557b)
.........................The Wal-Mart Greeter (S497, S676)
.........................The Great Zumbrati (S488b)
.........................Herman On The Magician's Convention (S595c)
.........................Exterminator Tech Phone Call (S478b)
.........................Small Town Ambulance Driver (S477c)
.........................The Clock Repairman (S464b)
.........................Harry, The Ice Man (s462b)
.........................Triumph Gives The Hawaii Weather Report - Video (S552)
.........................Janitor With Rocks (S454)
.........................Night Watchman At A Factory (S422)
.........................Finding A Claim Ticket From WWII (S421b)
.........................Door-To-Door Vacuum Cleaner Salesman (S410b, S634c)
.........................Bizarro Cartoon (S992)
.........................Baby Names Based On Occupation (S404b)
.........................How To End The Careers Of Professionals (S402b)
.........................TV Repairman And The Housewife (S402b)
.........................Texas Pharmacy Sells Drugs At Cost (S399b)
.........................Plumber's Truck (S395)
.........................Shoe Repair (S341b)
.........................The Clock Repairman (S309)
.........................Short Other Occupation Jokes
..............................Dancing Gas Station Attendant - Video (S876 in Supp)
..............................Pixar's Presto (Remix) - Animated Short (S860 in Supp)
..............................Two Jeff Dunham Bloopers - Video (S862 in Supp)
..............................The Old Tablecloth Trick... - Video (S773 in Supp)
..............................America's Got Talent - Grasso Audition -Vid(S701b-Sup)
..............................The Great Cardini, 1957 Video - Video (S686 in Supp)
..............................Best Card Trick Ever - Video (S684b in Supp)
..............................Female Matador (S680 in Supp)
..............................Amazing Card Trick - Video (S669b in Supp)
..............................Japanese Illusionist - Video (S652b in Supp)
..............................The Magician And The Magic Bed - Video (S643c in Supp)
..............................The Modern Lumberjack - Video (S638b in Supp)
..............................Sam The Bellhop Card Trick - Video (S625 in Supp)
..............................Magic Transformation - Video (S624 in Supp)
..............................Locksmith's Revenge (S622c in Supp)
..............................Andy Capp Comic Strip (S607c in Supp)
..............................Popsicle Stick Riddle (S811 in Supp)
..............................
..............................Grand Canyon Photographer (S593c)
..............................Two Economists Are Walking Down The Street (S453)
..............................Steve Martin's "The Great Flydini" - Video (S593C)
..............................The Magician And The Window - Video (S591)
..............................Human Cannonball Retires From Circus (S447)
..............................The Nude Magician - Video (S567b)
..............................The Magician And The Quarter - Video (S567)
..............................The Contortionist - Video (S552)
..............................The Juggler - GIF (S533b)
..............................Grocery Store Magician - Video (S528)
..............................The Juggler - Video (S479c)
..............................The British Dry Cleaners - Video (S477b)
..............................The Carpet Layer - Video (S475c)
..............................Repairing Our Space Station - GIF (S437)

Also see BALLS file   - 'Matador Has A Bad Day'
         BANKING-SUPP2- 'Amazing Mind Reader Reveals His Gift' - Video
         BREASTS file - 'Hardening Of The Nipples'
         CHURCH-SUPP  - 'Handyman Quits Synagogue'
         CLOTHING file- 'A Woman And Her Desires'
......................- 'Magic Cloths' on America's Got Talent
         CONDOM file  - 'Young Man Buys Some Condoms
......................- 'Young Man Buys Some Condoms - Ver. 2'
         CHURCH file  - 'Painting The Church'
         COWBOY file  - 'Ventriloquist Cowboy And The Rancher'
         DOG-SUPP     - 'Talking Dog Wendy On Britain's Got Talent' - Video
         ELDERLY2-SUPP- 'Oldest Showgirl in the World'
         ENGLISHMAN   - 'Prince Charles Vs The Photographer'
         ENGLMAN-SUPP - 'Magician Jamie Raven On BGT 2015' - Video
         FARMER-SUPP  - 'The Farmer And The Bug Spray Salesman'
.........FOOD_ETC2    - 'The Swedish Chef | The Muppets'- Video
         GAMES file   - 'Bottom Of The Sea'
         GAMES2 file  - 'The Bridge Party And The Cleaning Lady'
         GOD2 file    - 'Woodcutter Meets The Lord'
         HEAVEN2 file - 'Teacher, Garbageman, And Lawyer Go To Heaven'
         HOOKER2 file - 'Whores At A Druggist's Convention'
         JEWISH3 file - 'The Taylor' - Movie
         MARRIAGE3    - 'Proxy Father (photographer)'
         MARRIAGE5    - 'Husband Goes To Buy Tampons'
         MARRIAGE6    - 'Man Sees Magic Show '
         MEXICAN file - 'Two Jews In Mexico'
         MOVIES file  - 'The Garbageman's Movie'
         MUSIC-SUPP   - 'Terry Fator And Julius Sing' - Video
         MUSIC-SUPP2  - 'Dancin' The Boogie'
         NUDIST file  - 'Ursula Martinez: Stripper Magician' - Video
         PENIS1 file  - 'Drug Makes Your Dick Last'
         PENIS2 file  - 'Female Pharmacists'
         PENIS3 file  - 'Weatherman Predicts Snow'
.........PHYSICS1 file- 'Blacksmith's Riddle'
         PLANE1 file  - 'Plane Hired To Fly Over Fire'
         POLIT-BUSH   - 'Bush Plans World War III'
         PREGNANT file- 'Couple Get Help For Pregnancy'
         QTS-COMED-SUP- 'Jeff Dunham And Walter'
.........RELIGION2    - 'Old Store Owner Quotes Scriptures'
         SEX-SUPP     - 'Jack The Optimist'
         STORIES file - 'Little Girl Buys A Miracle'
         SWIMMING file- 'The Lifeguard'
         WAITER-Waitrs- 'Shoe Shop Next To French Restaurant'

============================================================Top
Subj:     Willie Nelson's Card Trick (S967d)
          Posted by The Official Willie Nelson
          From: Bud Hathaway on Facebook
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/KJ0ncVqrd8M
.
.......
.
.......Click 'HERE' to watch Willie do a card trick.
.
.
Top
Subj:     Dancing Skeleton Pan Handler (S515b,d)
          From: edapsmas on 12/2/2006
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/bPUR8DlUbCo

 This pan handling puppeteer is excellent.  His dancing
 skeleton sings the song 'Lucille.'  Click 'HERE' to
 see this video.

Top
Subj:     Grocery Store Manager Stops Thief (S581)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 3/7/2008

 My friend is the manager at a grocery store.  Recently, he
 nabbed a shoplifter in the act.  While escorting the
 suspect to the office at the front of the store (near
 the cash registers), the shoplifter broke free from his
 grip and attempted a brazen escape.

 I should mention that my friend was an all-county
 linebacker in high school, so it was with little effort
 that he brought the shoplifter down with a tackle.  He
 pinned the guy against the pickle display, then looked
 up to see a number of surprised shoppers staring at him.

 "Everything's fine, folks," he reassured them.  "This
 guy just tried to go through the express line with more
 than nine items!"

Top
Subj:     Feisty Old Lady Vs The Electrician (S557b)
          From: ginafm on 9/19/2007

 A feisty old lady had to call the electric company for a
 repairman.  After a quick inspection, Al, the man from the
 power company found the problem and handed her a $70 bill
 for labor.

 "Labor charges!  One hour?" she exclaimed.  "It only took
 you five minutes!"

 Al explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge
 on every  house call.

 "Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," the lady
 responded, and she handed him a rake.

 Al spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.

Top
Subj:     The Wal-Mart Greeter (S497, S676)
          From: auntiegah on 8/1/2006
      and From: sam.hutkins on 12/30/2009

 A very unattractive, mean actin' woman walks into Wal-mart
 with her two kids.  After shoving her way past several
 customers waiting to get carts, she says to the Wal-mart
 greeter, "Go through those carts and find me one that
 doesn't need oiling for once!"

 "Yes Ma'am, happy to oblige," says the Greeter, and goes
 and picks out a cart for her.

 "Here you are, Ma'am, hope this one is okay," he says.

 "If you'd get out of my way, maybe I could find out!"
 snaps the woman.

 "Sorry, Ma'am," the Greeter says, standing aside, "And
 you and the twins have a nice day."

 The woman snarls, "They're not twins, you moron!  They
 don't even look alike."

 The greeter smiles, "No they don't Ma'am.  I just could
 not believe you got laid twice."

Top
Subj:     The Great Zumbrati (S488b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/25/2006

 Upon finishing an exceptionally dangerous tightrope walk over
 Niagara Falls in appalling wind, rain and limited visibility
 'The Great Zumbrati' was met by an enthusiastic supporter,
 who urged him to make a return trip, this time pushing a
 wheelbarrow, which the spectator had thoughtfully brought
 along.

 The Great Zumbrati was extremely reluctant, given the terrible
 conditions, but the supporter pressed him, "You can do it - I
 know you can," he urged.

 "You really believe I can do it?" asked The Great Zumbrati.

 "Yes - definitely - you can do it." the supporter gushed.

 "Are you really 100% Certain, even given these terrible winds",
 Zumbrati queried again.

 "Yes, Yes, Yes?", answered the fan, gushing with expectation.

 "Okay," said Zumbrati, "Get in the wheelbarrow....."

Top
Subj:     Herman On The Magician's Convention (S595c)
          By Jim Unger on 5/24/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/herman/2008/05/24
.
.................
.
.
Top
Subj:     Exterminator Tech Phone Call (S478b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 3/9/2006
 Source: (Removed from wtfun.com)

 My husband works as a service technician for a large
 exterminating company.  One of the rules of the company
 is that he has to comfirm each appointment by phone the
 night before his service call to that household.

 One evening he made such a call, and when a man answered
 the phone, he said, "Hi, this is Gary from A to Z Pest
 Control Company.  Your wife phoned us."  There was a long
 silence, and then my husband heard the man on the other
 end say, "Honey, it's for you....someone wants to talk to
 you about your relatives."

Top
Subj:     Small Town Ambulance Driver (S477c)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 3/8/2006

 Driving a small town ambulance, it was not uncommon for my
 husband and I to stop at the local grocer to buy food for
 dinner after a call at the end of the day. I had gone in
 to get a head of lettuce and some tomatoes, and unknown to
 me the floor was wet. Down I went, hitting my head hard.

 When I came to, the manager of the store was sitting beside
 me telling me not to move, that he had called 911.

 At the same time my pager went off and he looked at me and
 asked, "What was that?"

"My pager," I said. "I am 911."

Top
Subj:     The Clock Repairman (S464b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 12/9/2005

 Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one
 day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock
 repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he
 is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey,
 "Vat sims to be ze problem?"

 Harvey says, "I'm not sure, but it doesn't go
 'tick-tock-tick-tock' anymore. Now it just goes
 'tick...tick...tick.'"

 The old man says, "Mmm-Hm!" and steps behind the counter,
 where he rummages around a bit. He emerges with a huge
 flashlight and walks over the the grandfather clock. He
 turns the flashlight on, and shines it directly into the
 clocks face. Then he says in a menacing voice,

 "Ve haf vays of making you tock!"

Top
Subj:     Harry, The Ice Man (s462b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/2/2005

 During the summers in the early 1940's, my uncle Harry, a
 young man working his way through college, was working as
 an ice man and drove an ice truck up and down the streets
 and alleys on the north side Chicago looking for the "ice
 cards" hung on the screen doors and windows of the
 residents who wished to purchase ice for their ice boxes.

 The cards usually had 3 settings; 25 lbs, 50 lbs and
 100 lbs. It was a poor time, the country just coming
 out of the depression and facing the start of WW ii.

 There were two spinster sisters that lived alone on the
 second floor of a frame wooden house on our block and
 they sometimes would display their ice card in the window
 for 25 lbs.

 My uncle, knew they could never scrape together the money
 to pay their bill but he always stopped and took all the
 broken ice pieces off his truck and carried it up to their
 place and packed it in their small wooden ice box.

 One day, towards the end of summer, after he had packed
 their box one of the sisters, the younger one, stepped
 out on the back porch and asked to speak to him. She
 seemed a bit shy and seemed flushed in embarrassment,

 "Young man my sister and I know you have helped us this
 summer with the ice, even when knowing we could not pay.
 We've read in books recently that sometimes women offer
 their bodies for sex in exchange for favors. Well since
 we have not been able to raise any money we decided to
 do that for you and since I am the youngest I am
 offering myself."

 Well my uncle always claimed that he tried to convince
 her that it wasn't necessary, but knowing him, that's
 highly doubtful, but he said after she insisted, he
 finally gave in and said, "Okay" and then they
 supposedly went at it with youthful fervor.

 Afterwards, he thanked the woman and dressed, took out
 his receipt book and wrote "PAID IN FULL" and handed it
 to the sister.

 The women looked at the bill for only a second and blurted
 out, "Now, look here, young man, we got that ice a little
 piece at a time and we damn well intend paying for it the
 same way!"

Top
Subj:     Triumph Gives The Hawaii Weather Report (S552d)
          From: ginafm on 8/14/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/XdoYXdcqT54

 (Click on 'Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog' for other videos)

 Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, gives The Hawaii weather
 report.  You can see it by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Janitor With Rocks (S454)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 9/26/2005

 A very small female janitor (4'10", 90 pounds) worked at
 an amusement park and was told to go out and sweep up the
 grounds.

 As she was getting ready to head out to clean up, her
 supervisor noticed her putting rocks in her pockets. When
 asked what she was doing, she pointed out that it was so
 windy out she was afraid of getting knocked over by the
 wind.  'So,' she said, 'now I weigh me down to sweep.'

Top
Subj:     Night Watchman At A Factory (S422)
          From: DafterLafter on 2/23/2005

 (Also see 'Smuggling From Mexico' in Bicycle)

 A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There
 had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift,
 and so every morning when the night shift workers passed
 through his gate it was his job to check their bags and
 pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen.

 Things were going along very well the first night on the job
 until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspaper came through
 his gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up
 what he is stealing with that newspaper. So he removed the
 paper only to find nothing.

 Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he
 questioned him about the paper.

 "I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go
 into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have
 thrown away."

 The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on
 him.

 The next night it was the same, and the night after that.
 Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the
 wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guard's checkpoint. The
 guard would always check and find nothing.

 Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for
 work only to find a message had been left for him telling
 him to report to his supervisor.

 He walked into the supervisor's office and before he could
 say a word, the boss said, "You're fired!"

 "Fired?" he asked in total surprise. "Why? What did I do?"

 "It was your job to make sure that no one stole anything
 from this plant and you have failed. So you're fired."

 "Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole
 anything from this place while I was on guard."

 "Oh, really," the boss answered. "Then how do you account
 for the fact that there are 365 wheelbarrows missing?"

Top
Subj:     Finding A Claim Ticket From WWII (S421b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 2/17/2005

 Stanley comes home after his mother's funeral to try to put
 her place in order.  He goes up to the attic to look around
 and finds an old trunk. Looking in it, he discovers his
 father's WWll uniform.

 So he tries it on and it's a little tight on him.  Before
 taking it off, he puts his hand in the pocket and comes up
 with a ticket. Looking at it, he finds a shoe repair ticket
 for Herman's on West 53rd Street in New York, dated January
 17th, 1942.

 He can barely believe it.  An unclaimed ticket from 55 years
 ago. Weeks later, Stabley happens to be in the area of West
 53rd and wanders over to see where the shoe repair was.  He
 can't believe his good luck; the shoe repair store is still
 there.  He wanders in and tells the story of finding the
 ticket to the old man.

 The man says his name is Herman and has owned the shop for
 60 years.  "Gimme the ticket" says Herman and wanders to the
 back of the shop.  Stanley is amazed.  What good fortune!
 What a coincidence!

 Herman comes back.  "I've got your shoes.  They'll be done
 tomorrow!"

Top
Subj:     Door-To-Door Vacuum Cleaner Salesman (S410b, S634c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/25/2004

 A little old woman answered a knock on the door one day,
 only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying
 a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man.  "If
 I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like
 to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.

 "Go away!" said the old woman. "I haven't got any money!" and
 she proceeded to close the door.

 Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door
 and pushed it wide open.  "Don't be too hasty!" he said.
 "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration."
 In addition, with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure
 onto her hallway carpet.  "If this vacuum cleaner does not
 remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet,
 Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

 The old woman stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got
 a darned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity
 this morning."

Top
Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (S992)
          By Dan Piraro on 8/13/2013
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/august-13-2013/
.
...............
.
.
Top
Subj:     Baby Names Based On Occupation (S404b)
          From: DafterLafter on 6/4/2004

 (See 'What Do You Call A...' in Handicapped)

 Baby name ideas, based on your occupation.....

 PROFESSION:                       NAME

 Lawyer's daughter:               Sue
 Thief's son:                      Rob
 Lawyer's son:                     Will
 Doctor's son:                     Bill
 Meteorologist's daughter:         Haley
 Steam shovel operator's son:      Doug
 Hair stylist's son:               Bob
 Homeopathic doctor's son:         Herb
 Justice of the peace's daughter:  Mary
 Sound stage technician's son:     Mike
 Hot-dog vendor's son:             Frank
 Gambler's daughter:               Betty
 Exercise guru's son:              Jim
 Cattle thief's son:               Russell
 Painter's son:                    Art
 Iron worker's son:                Rusty
 TV show star's daughter:          Emmy
 Movie star's son:                 Oscar
 Barber's son:                     Harry
 Housewife's son:                  Dusty
 Minister's daughter:              Faith
 Day-trader's daughter:           Hope
 Televangelist's daughter:         Charity
 Geneticist's son:                 Gene
 Espresso vendor's son:            Joe
 Undertaker's son:                 Barry
 Beautician's son:                 Curly
 Gardener's daughter:              Daisy
 Florist's daughter:               Rose
 Baker's daughter:                 Cookie
 Manicurist's son:                 Hans
 Athlete's son:                    Victor
 Plumber's son:                    John
 Accountant's son:                 Ira
 Musician's daughter:              Melody
 Jeweler's daughter:               Opal
 Gastrointerologist's daughter:    Fanny
 Butcher's daughter:               Patty
 Bartender's daughter:             Brandy
 Counterfeiter's son:              Bill
 Museum curator's son:             Art
 Book printer's daughter:          Paige
 Trout fisher's daughter:          Brook
 Publisher's daughter:             Mag
 Woodworker's daughter:            Peg
 Tennis player's son:              Ace
 Clothing manufacturer's daughter: Polly Esther
 Teacher's son:                    Mark
 Singer's twin daughters:          Harmony and Melody Highway
 patrolman's son:                  Chase

Top
Subj:     How To End The Careers Of Professionals (S402b)
          From: jokes on 10/5/2004

 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
 follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
 cowboys deranged, models deposed (and eventually disfigured)
 and dry cleaners depressed?

 Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed
 and depleted!  Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball
 players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bull-
 dozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered,
 the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers
 will eventually decompose.  As a student, I spent all my time
 wishing to be detested and degraded.

 On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians
 will be devoted.

Top
Subj:     TV Repairman And The Housewife (S402b)
          From: Anonymous Junior on 10/02/04

 The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman
 couldn't keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the
 room, he'd near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking
 at her.

 When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make
 a . .well .  unusual request.  But you have to first promise
 me you'll keep it a secret."

 The repairman quickly agreed and she went on.  "Well, it's
 kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is
 a kind, decent man -- sigh -- he has a certain physical
 weakness. A certain disability.  Now, I'm a woman and you're
 a man . .  "

 The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes yes!"

 "And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the
 door . . ."

 "Yes yes!"

 "Would you help me move the refrigerator?"

Top
Subj:     Texas Pharmacy Sells Drugs At Cost (S399b)
          From: jerry on 8/9/2004

 McKinney pharmacy of Texas has announced that they will now
 sell prescription drugs to uninsured and underinsured customers
 at cost.  This is good.

 But the article indicates, as an example, that a drug, normally
 costing $240 will cost just $16.68 for these folks.  And you
 thought it was the drug companies who were making all the profit
 on drugs, didn't you?  This is bad.

 Houston Chronicle 31-Jul-4

Top
Subj:     Plumber's Truck (S395)
          From: gheckman on 8/22/2004
.
.....
.
.
Top
Subj:     Shoe Repair (S341b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 7/23/2003

 Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when
 he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The
 date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven
 years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of
 them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a
 decade ago.

 "Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold
 asked.

 "Not very likely," his wife said.

 "It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He
 went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the
 store.

 With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man
 behind the counter.

 With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a
 minute. I'll have to look for these."

 He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.
 Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"
 "No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who
 would have thought they'd still be here after all this
 time."

 The man came back to the counter, empty-handed.

 "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.

Top
Subj:     The Clock Repairman (S309)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 1/1/2003

 Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one
 day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock
 repair shop.  In the shop is a little old man who insists
 he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent.  He asks Harvey,
 "Vat sims to be ze problem?"

 Harvey says, "I'm not sure, but it doesn't go 'tick-tock-
 tick-tock' anymore.  Now it just goes 'tick...tick...tick.'"

 The old man says, "Mmm-Hm!" and steps behind the counter,
 where he rummages around a bit.  He emerges with a huge
 flashlight and walks over the the grandfather clock.  He
 turns the flashlight on, and shines it directly into the
 clocks face. Then he says in a menacing voice,

"Ve haf vays of making you tock!"


Subj:     Short Other Occupation Jokes
 

Top
Subj:     Grand Canyon Photographer (S593c)
          From: tom on 5/29/2008
 These four, scary photos are worth the trip to the internet.
 Click 'HERE' to see this really dumb photographer.

 Chris wrote and explained that the four photos were real,
 but the whole thing was a fake and that I should have
 checked it at Snopes.com.  You can see how the pictures
 were staged at the bottom of the attached web page.
 Thank you Chris for catching my error.
 

Top
Subj:     Two Economists Are Walking Down The Street (S453)
          From: Anon Jr. on 9/22/2005
 Source: (Removed from netec.wustl.edu)
 Two economists were walking down the street when they noticed
 two women yelling across the street at each other from their
 apartment windows.
 "Of course they will never come to agreement" stated the first
 economist.
 "And why is that" inquired his companion.
 "Why, of course, because they are arguing from different premises."
 

Top
Subj:     Steve Martin's "The Great Flydini"
          From: edapsmas on 5/12/2008
      and From: virv on 4/3/2013  (S591b, S847d)
 Source: http://www.funnieststuff.net/viewmovie.php?id=1543
 In 1992 on the Johnny Carson's Tonight Show, Steve Martin
 performed "The Great Flydini."  In this classic comedy
 sketch, Steve plays a magician with unique abilities.
 Click 'HERE' to see this very funny, great routine.
 

Top
Subj:     The Magician And The Window (S591d)
          From: darrellvip on 5/12/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/S6nxQO0_BO4
 In this video, the magician, Criss Angel, walks through
 a window.  Click 'HERE' to view it.
 

Top
Subj:     Human Cannonball Retires From Circus (S447)
          From: Readers Digest on September of 2005
 After a long career of being blasted into a net, the human
 cannonball was tired.  He told the circus owner he was going
 to retire.

 "But you can't" protested the boss.  "Where am I going to
 find another man of your caliber?"
 

Top
Subj:     The Nude Magician (S567b,d)
          From: Unknown on 11/30/2007
 Source: (Removed by Organizacoes Glovo)
 Ursula Martinez, the Naked Magician, magic as you have
 never seen it performed before!  Ironically she is a
 great illusionist as well!  Click 'HERE' to see this
 silly video.
 

Top
Subj:     The Magician And The Quarter (S567d)
          From: Unknown on 11/30/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/pzvYbkp_0-I
 This is quite an amazing, gory trick. Criss Angel swallows
 a marked quarter and cuts it out of his arm. Click 'HERE'
 to see the Quarter Thru Arm effect.
 

Top
Subj:     Contortionist (S552d)
          From: ginafm on 8/16/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/90By5VSaWR4
 This contortionist (slangenjongen) on America's
 Got Talent will make you cringe with pain.  You
 can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     The Juggler - GIF (S533b) 
          From: rfslick on 4/8/2007
 You can view this cute animated GIF by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Grocery Store Magician (S528d)
          From: auntiegah on 3/3/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/T5tbVMdM9TM
 In this video, magician Criss Angel does a magic trick
 with an egg, a lemon, and a grape fruit from a grocery
 store. Click 'HERE' to see the craziest magic trick ever.
 

Top
Subj:   The Juggler (S479c,d)
..........From: igiggle on 3/26/2006
      and From: rfslick on 3/6/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/HR85sFAg22c
 This is a video clip of Chris Bliss juggling to music.
 You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     The British Dry Cleaners (S477b,dwmv)
          From: darrell94590 on 3/7/2006
 Source:  http://www.jokelibrary.net/occup
..........ations/s_to_z/z_oth-cleaners.wmv
 A cute British film about a pretty lady who strips at
 the cleaners.  You can view this WMV video by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     The Carpet Layer (S475c,d)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles on 2/1/2006
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/D2yyNs0inCY
 (Also see 'Carpet Layer Looses Cigarettes' in Birds)
 Cute, old joke done in a video about a carpet layer
 who looses his pack of cigarettes.  You can view it
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Repairing Our Space Station - GIF (S437)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles on 6/13/2005
 Source: (Removed from LabLaughs.com)
 To view this animated GIF, clicking 'HERE'.
 

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/23/2003 (S334b)
 There's no workman, whatsoever he be, that may both
 work well and hastily.  -- Chaucer (c. 1343 - 1400)

From: LABLaughsClean on 1/19/2005 (S416b)
 "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only
 advise his clients to plant vines."  -- Frank Lloyd Wright

From: RFSlick on 9/22/2007 (S557b - tho-learn-supp2)
 Wisdom is not knowing when to pick-up something hot,
 but knowing to put it back down.

 A blacksmith had just gotten done making a new horseshoe.
 It had just turned from red back to brown when a boy walked
 into the shop.  Holding the horseshoe with a set of tongs,
 the blacksmith thrust it forward and said "Here boy look
 at this."

 The boy took the horseshoe in his hand and immediately
 handed it back.

 The blacksmith asked "Why did you return it so fast?"

 The boy answered "It doesn't take me long to look at
 a horseshoe."

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
.
..........................Plummer from Smiley_Central
.
.
.