Subj:     New York Jokes
                 (Includes 29 jokes and articles, 17918,10,cf,md4w,4)

          Click "Here" for New_York-Supp

For You Ben Laden
Mike's Animation
Includes the following:  11 360° Pictures of New York (S775 in Supp)
.........................Rain Room at MoMA New York - Video (S859 in Supp)
.........................Incredible Images Of WWII In New York (S865 in Supp)
.........................Johnny T's NYC Tourist Tips - Video (S918 in Supp)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S643b)
.........................Boatlift, An Untold Tale of 9/11 Resilience - Video (S767)
.........................New Yorkers Honeymoon On Train (S221, S513)
.........................New York City Won't Repair Voting Machines (S334b)
.........................StoryCorps - She Was The One - Video (S762)
.........................The Towers (S244, DU)
.........................Dr. Seuss On Twin Towers (S243, DU)
.........................Empire State Building Construction - Videos (S737)
.........................An Awesome 9-11 Story (S504)
.........................Traffic Jam In NYC (S422b, DU)
.........................9-11 Attack - Video (S504)
.........................You Know You're From The Bronx (Da Bronx) If (S480, DU)
.........................Gratitude And Charity (S274, DU)
.........................New York Driving Rules! (S265b)
.........................Don't Tread On Me (S241b, DU)
.........................Nostradamus' Prediction on WW3 (S241, DU)
.........................New Yorkers And Their Cell Phones (S233b, DU)
.........................Top Twenty Signs You're From New York (DU)
.........................Pollster In New York (S188, S634b)
.........................Short New Yorker Jokes (S190)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (DU)
..............................World Trade Center And Word (S242)
..............................Star Wars Premier In New York City (S551)
..............................New York Tragedy And Education (S241b)
..............................New York Pointer (S443b)
..............................Another Twin Towers Tribute (S337b)
..............................The Twin Towers And Numbers (S241b)

Also see ACCIDENTS1   - 'Man Hit By Car In New York'
         ANAGRAMS file- 'Anagrams For Osama Bin Laden'
         ARABS file   - 'Two Terrorists Get Visas'
         CABDRIVER    - 'New York Cabbie'
         Cats2 file   - 'New York Cat In Winter'
         CHRISTMS3-SUP- 'Italian Night Before Christmas In Brooklyn' - Video
         CLINTON file - 'NY,NY'
         CONTRACTORS  - 'Three Contractors Tour The White House'
         COWBOY file  - 'New York Sorority Girl Visits Texas'
         DRINKING_BR2 - 'How Budweiser Handled 9/11'
         FACTS3 file  - 'New Airport Managers'
         FACTS5 file  - 'Low Student Scores In New York'
         GOD2 file    - 'Anne Graham, God, And September 11'
.........GOLF2 file   - 'Ripley's Believe It Or Not'
         HEAVEN1 file - 'New Yorkers Goes To Heaven'
         HELL file    - 'Devil Baby' Terrifies New Yorkers' - Video
         HOOKER file  - 'Streets Of New York'
......................- 'Mother, Daughter, And The Cabbie'
         HOTEL file   - 'Ten Tallest Towers'
         INDIAN file  - 'Indian At Times Square'
         JEWISH3 file - 'The Taylor' - Video
         JUDGE file   - 'Man Goes To Court For Traffic Ticket'
         LAWYER2 file - 'New York Lawyer Goes To Heaven'
         MOVIES2 file - 'Jeff Bridges Tells Jay Leno A Joke' - Video
         NATIONAL file- 'Root Out Terrorists!'
         NATIONAL2    - 'British Mirror On September 11'
         NATIONAL_STTS- 'When It's Cold In Buffalo'
         NATIVES file - 'Cannibals Capture French, English, And New Yorker'
         PENIS2 file  - 'Texan Has A Baby'
         SCIENCE-SUPP - 'Waterfall Swing' - Video
         SEX2 file    - 'NYC Carpenter Makes "Ergonomic Erotica"'
         SHIP file    - 'USS New York'
         SOLDIER2 file- 'Military Retaliation'
         SPERM file   - 'New York State County Worker Fired'
         TEAR JERKER2 - 'A Little Boy In New York'
         TEAR-JERKER3 - 'Daddy's Pink Rose'

     by John Graziano
     From: Comics.com on 5/1/2009
 Source: http://comics.com/ripleys_believe_it_or_not/

Subj:     Boatlift, An Untold Tale of 9/11 Resilience
          Narated by Tom Hanks
          From: kgilmour2000 on 9/22/2011 (S767d)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/MDOrzF7B2Kg?rel=

 Tom Hanks narrates the epic story of the 9/11 boatlift
 that evacuated half a million people from the stricken
 piers and seawalls of Lower Manhattan.  Produced and
 directed by Eddie Rosenstein, Eyepop Productions, Inc.
 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to
 see this incredible, true story.

 About half way through this twelve minute video, the
 immensity of what I was seeing hit me.  I started
 crying and couldn't stop.

Subj:     New Yorkers Honeymoon On Train (S221, S513)
          From: thebartend on 4/16/2001
      and From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/15/2006

 After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new
 bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood
 barbershop to say hello to his friends.

 Giovanni said, "Hey, Luigi. How was a da treep?"

 Luigi said, "Ever'thing was a perfect except for da train
 a ride down."

 "What'a you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.

 "Well, we boarda da train at Grand Centrala Station.  My
 beautifula Virginia had packed a biga basket a food with
 vino and cigars for a me, and a we were looking a 'forward
 to da trip.  All was OK until we gotta hungry and opened
 up a da luncha basket.

 "The conductor came by, wagged his a finger at us and a
 say, 'No eat in dese'a car. Must'a use'a dining car.'

 "So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car,
 eat a big'a lunch and begin to open'a bottle of vino.
 Conductor come again, wag his'a finger and say, 'No
 drink'a in dese'a car. Must'a use'a club'a car.'

 "So we go to club'a car.  While'a drinking vino, I start
 to light'a my big'a cigar.  The conductor, he wag'a his
 finger again and say, 'No smoke'a in dese'a car.  Must'a
 go to smoker car.'

 "We go to smoker car and I smoke'a my cigar.  Later, my
 beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car and'a go
 to bed.  We just about to have'a sex and the conductor,
 he come'a through car yelling,  'NO-FOLK'A, VIRGINIA!'

 "Next'a time, Ima driva down!!"

Subj:     New York City Won't Repair Voting Machines (S334b)
          From: jerry on 6/18/2003

 The New York City Board of Elections has said they will
 not repair the city's 7,000 voting machines that were
 responsible for some estimated 60,000 lost votes in the
 2000 presidential election, most of which would have
 gone to Democratic candidates, because, according to the
 Republican commissioner, most of those people whose votes
 were not counted never intended to have their votes count
 anyway but only came down to the polling places to make it
 look like they were doing their civic duty.  And, says
 Republican commissioner Stephen Weiner, fixing the
 machines would therefore be tantamount to forcing people\
 to vote against their will.

 Newsday (Long Island, New York) 16-Apr-03

Subj:     StoryCorps - She Was The One (S762d)
          Created by StoryCorps
          From: Wimp.com on 9/7/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgGQAr5hmRI
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/theone/
 Source3: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/StoryCorps

 When Richie Pecorella met Karen Juday, she captured his
 heart and changed his life.  They were engaged and living
 together in Brooklyn when Karen was killed in the terrorist
 attacks on the World Trade Center, where she worked as an
 administrative assistant.  Here, Richie remembers Karen,
 his love and inspiration.

 Click on either of the top two sources, or 'HERE' for my
 copy, to see and hear the story of Richie Pecorella and
 Karen Juday as portrayed in this story/cartoon by StoryCorps.

 StoryCorps is an American non-profit organization whose
 mission is to record, preserve, and share the stories of
 Americans from all backgrounds and beliefs.

Subj:     The Towers (S244, DU)
          From: TAdams on 10/2/2001

 On misty night, when tolls the bell,
 The twins, their mournful story tell,
 Of evil plan and sore intent
 To murder young, and innocent
 Who not their scheduled time had spent,
 And render thus a Nation rent.
 But waked a sleeping Giant, they
 In arrogance, who chose their prey,
 And foolishly considered naught
 The consequence of what they wrought.
 The Giant awoke, as well he may
 And rose to fight another day.
 And then with fury full unleashed
 The Stealthy hid like hunted beast
 No haven do they find to hide
 For All the World their deeds deride.
   -- Margaret S. Emanuelson, Howardsville, Va

Subj:     Dr. Seuss On Twin Towers (S243, DU)
          From: trumpetz on 9/22/2001

 Every U down in Uville liked U.S. a lot,
 But the Binch, who lived Far East of Uville, did not.
 The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
 Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,
 It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
 Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
 But I think that the most likely reason of all
 May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
 But, Whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
 He stood facing Uville, the part that was urban.
 "They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.
 "They're raising their families! They're going to church!
 They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
 I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"
 Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
 Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
 They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
 And abide by their U and S values and rules,
 And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
 Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
 Would stand all united, each U and each S,
 And they'd sing Uville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"
 All around their Twin Towers of Uville, they'd stand,
 and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
 "I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,
 And he had an idea-an idea that might work!
 The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
 And crashed them right into the Uville Twin Towers.
 "They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
 "And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"
 The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
 All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
 Instead he heard something that started quite low,
 And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow-
 And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
 And he couldn't believe it-they started to sing!
 He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
 What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
 Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
 Was singing! Without any towers at all!
 He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
 For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young,
 Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope ? called Pride,
 And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.
 So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
 With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
 And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,
 For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.
 For America means a bit more than tall towers,
 It means more than wealth or political powers,
 It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
 So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!

Subj:     Empire State Building Construction (S737d3)
          From: tom on 2/23/2011 (in Engineer2)

 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEnCpWMl91s?NR=1
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZJLrUa41Tw
 Source3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m0TpUhylKc
 Source4: http://www.technologystudent.com/culture1/empire1.htm
.Photo from TechnologyStudent.com

The Empire State Building was the highest building
in the world for forty Years.  It was constructed
in New York (USA) an era when American cities such
as Chicago and New York competed to have the highest

To make way for the new skyscraper the old Waldorf-
Astoria Hotel on Fifth Avemue was demolished.
Demolition started in March 1930 and the construction

 of the new building was completed in fourteen months, on May
 14th, 1931.

 With 102 stories, it was the tallest building in the world
 for forty years.  Only when the first tower of the World
 Trade Center was completed in 1972 was it deposed as the
 highest building.
Click on Source1, or 'HERE' for my copy, to
see twenty great photos with comments about
the construction of the Empire State Building.
Photo from Youtube.com
Click on Source2, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
forty-two seconds of archive footage from the
building of Empire State Building.
Photo from Youtube.com
Click on Source3, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
Part 1 of 3 Empire State Building segment from
New York: A Documentary Film  It discusses the
the history of the building.
Subj:     An Awesome 9-11 Story (S504)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 9/11/2006

 A man from Norfolk, VA called a local radio station to share
 this on Sept 11th, 2003.  His Name was Robert  Matthews.

 These are his words:

 "A few weeks before Sept. 11th, my wife and I found out we
 were going to have our first child.  She planned a trip out
 to California to visit her sister.  On our way to the airport,
 we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with
 her.  Shortly after I said 'amen,' we both heard a loud pop
 and the car shook violently.  We had blown out a tire I
 replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we  still missed
 her flight.  Both very upset, we drove home.

 I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD.  He
 asked what my wife's flight number was, but I explained
 that we missed the flight.  My father informed me that her
 flight was the one that crashed into the southern tower.
 I was too shocked to speak.  My father also had more news
 for me; he was going to help.  'This is not something I can
 just sit by for; I have to do something.'  I was concerned
 for his safety, of course, but more because he had never
 given his life to Christ.  After a brief debate, I knew his
 mind was made up.  Before he got off of the phone, he said,
 'take good care of my grandchild.'

 Those were the last words I ever heard my father say;  he
 died while helping in the rescue effort.

 My joy that my prayer of safety for my wife had been
 answered quickly became anger.  I was angry at God, at my
 father, and at myself.  I had gone for nearly two years
 blaming God for taking my father away.  My son would never
 know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ,
 and I never got to say goodbye  Then something happened.

 About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife
 and my son, when there was a knock on the door.  I looked
 at my wife, but I could tell she wasn't expecting anyone.
 I opened the door to a couple with a small child.

 The man looked at me and asked if my father's name was
 Jake Matthews.  I told him it was.  He quickly grabbed my
 hand and said, 'I never got the chance to meet your father,
 but it is an honor to meet his son.'

 He explained to me that his wife had worked in the World
 Trade Center and had been caught inside after the attack.
 She was pregnant and had been caught under debris.  He
 then explained that my father had been the one to find his
 wife and free her.

 My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father
 giving his life for people like this.  He then said, 'there
 is something else you need to know.'

 His wife then told me that as my father worked to free
 her, she talked to him and lead him to Christ.

 I began sobbing at the news.  Now I know that when I get
 to heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to
 welcome me, and that this family would be able to
 thank him themselves.

 When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob
 Matthew in honor of the man who gave his life so mother
 and baby could live."

Subj:     Traffic Jam In NYC (S422b, DU)
          From: DoctorDebt on 2/19/2005

 A stock broker, on his way home from work in New York City,
 came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow,
 this seems much worse than usual. He notices a police officer
 walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolls down
 his window and asks, "Officer, what's the hold up?"

 The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is depressed, so she
 stopped her motorcade and is threatening to douse herself in
 gasoline and set herself on fire.  She says her husband has
 spent all her money and the Democrats told her to forget
 about running for President in 2008. So we're taking up a
 collection for her.

 The stock broker asks, "How much have you got so far?"  The
 officer replies "About 4 1/2 gallons, but a lot of folks are
 still siphoning."

Subj:     9-11 Attack (S504d)
          From: LABLaughsClean 
          on 9/11/2006
 Source: http://www.gunstuff.com/america-attacked.html

 After 9-11 I remember watching this video at least twenty
 times and crying every time.  This updated version is a
 wonderful tribute to all the people of America.  You can
 see it at the source above, or on my site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     You Know You're From The Bronx (Da Bronx) If (S480, DU)
          From: ICohen on 11/19/2003
      and From: mauriceschumacher on 4/3/2006

 You know someone who went to Roosevelt, Taft, Morris,
 Columbus,Evander,Smith,Gompers, Jane Adams, Dodge, Kennedy,
 Truman, Lehman, Clinton, Walton, Science, Monroe,
 Stevenson, All Hallows, Catherine's, Cathedral, Ursula,
 Fordham, Rice, Aquinas, Barnabas, Mt St. Michael, Preston,
 Helena's, Hayes, Raymond's, Spellman, Tolentine and many

 You know that Lehman College is really Hunter College in
 the Bronx.

 You actually think the subway is fun and a very reliable
 form of transportation.

 You've taken the Bx 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 16,
 20, 31, 34 or 41 bus, at least once in your life.

 You agree that the Grand Concourse has too many lights
 and no parking!

 When people ask you where you're from you tell them the
 closest train stop.

 You don't go to Manhattan.  You go "downtown."  You say
 downtown and expect everyone to know that this means

 You never realize you have an accent until one of your
 new neighbors tells you it's cute.

 You're the toughest person you know; your best friend
 is a close second.

 There was at least one pizza place about 1 block from
 your house.

 You curse .... a lot!  With no guilt whatsoever!

 You were sure Son of Sam was looking for you, so you
 wore your long dark hair with a scarf.

 You went to Orchard Beach and walked all the way to
 section 13 which was the best section.

 You went to Rye Playland at least once a year.

 Your friends came over to hang out on the porch/stoop
 or in front your house/apt building.

 You've been to the Bronx Zoo ? Botanical Gardens on
 class trips.

 You shopped at Alexander's on Fordham Road.

 You stop and have a Gorman's Frank on Fordham Road.

 You call it the Stadium, not Yankee Stadium.

 You used to go to Fordham Road to buy jewelry and
 household appliances.

 You bought a slice of pizza AND a soda for $. 25

 You still don't understand why people are crazy enough
 to drive to the Stadium for a Yankee game, when you
 can take the 4 or the D train.

 You know that Riverdale is really the Bronx.

 Every year when you were little around Christmas time
 you would go to see the houses on Pelham Parkway ....
 only if your parents had a car.

 You know how to get on a bus using the rear door.

 You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the
 Empire State Building.

 You know that the Bronx is the best borough of all,
 except for maybe Manhattan.... maybe.

 You went to #6 parking lot at Jones Beach.

 In high school, you cruised the strip on Central Ave
 in Yonkers.

 You had to take city buses and/or the subway to get to
 high school, most likely walk to school too, unless you
 went to Spellman ? you got your own special bus.

 Your mother would yell your name out the window when it
 was time to come home and eat or time to go to sleep.

 You played stick ball and stoop ball, potsy, etc.

 You rode horses in Pelham Bay Park or Van Cortlandt Park.

 When you say "New York" you mean the "City."

 The rest of the state really doesn't exist.

 You know what a bodega is ..... you secretly wish there
 was one where you live now.

 Jaywalking is imaginary.  It is an important skill you
 were taught when learning how to cross the street.

 You went sleigh riding at the Van Cortlandt golf course,
 or Danger Hill.

 You knew New Jersey sucked before the phrase came into vogue.

 You know it is really the "Liberry" and not the Library.

 You know what a Spaldeen is, right?

 You kept your bike underneath the stairway on the first
 floor hallway of your apartment building.

 Your fire escape was the closest thing you had to a back yard.

 You've played Ringaleevio ? Kick the Can around your
 apartment building.

 You have a great sense of humor.

 You know that the Pelham diner is one of the best diners
 in all of New York City.

 During the summer, you went to the public park to play
 in the sprinklers.

 You know that all people from places outside of the Bronx
 don't know what they missed out on ... and

 You know you're from the Bronx if this e-mail made you a
 little nostalgic, ? you wish you could back ? do it all
 over again.

 BUT, you know that it will never be the same ever again
 for the rest of your life!!  You were privileged to have
 been there at the right time and place!!!

From: mauriceschumacher@sbcglobal.net on 4/3/2006

 You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get
 from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find
 Wisconsin on a map.

 You think Central Park is "nature."

 You believe that being able to swear at people in their
 own language makes you multi-lingual.

 You've worn out a car horn.

 You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

Subj:     Gratitude And Charity (S274, DU)
          From: JBCARY1 on 1/25/2002

 CNN Headline News did a short news listing regarding Ford
 and GM's contributions to the relief and recovery efforts
 in New York and Washington. The findings are as follows...

 1. Ford- $1 million to American Red Cross matching
 employee contributions of the same number plus 10
 Excursions to NY Fire Dept.  The company also offered
 ER response team services and office space to displaced
 government employees.

 2. GM- $1 million to American Red Cross matching employee
 contributions of the same number and a fleet of vans,
 SUV's, and trucks.

 3. Daimler Chrysler- $10 million to support of the
 children and victims of the Sept. 11 attack.

 4. Harley Davidson motorcycles- $1 million and 30 new
 motorcycles to the New York Police Dept.

 5. Volkswagen- Employees and management created a Sept.
 11 Foundation, funded initial with $2 million, for the
 assistance of the children and victims of the WTC.

 6. Hyundai- $300,000 to the American Red Cross.

 7. Audi- Nothing.

 8. BMW- Nothing.

 9. Daewoo- Nothing.

 10. Fiat- Nothing.

 11. Honda- Nothing despite boasting of second best sales
 month ever in August 2001

 12. Isuzu- Nothing.

 13. Mitsubishi- Nothing.

 14. Nissan- Nothing.

 15. Porsche- Nothing. Press release with condolences via
 the Porsche website.

 16. Subaru- Nothing.

 17. Suzuki- Nothing.

 18. Toyota- Nothing despite claims of high sales in July
 and August 2001. Condolences posted on the website

 Whenever the time may be for you to purchase or lease a
 new vehicle, keep this information in mind.  You might
 want to give more consideration to a car manufactured
 by an American owned and / or American based company.
 Apart from Hyundai and Volkswagen, the foreign car
 companies contributed nothing at all to the citizens of
 the United States.  It's OK for these companies to take
 money out of this country, but it is apparently not
 acceptable to return some in a time of crisis.  I believe
 we should not forget things like this.  Say thank you in
 a way that gets their attention.  Pass it on.

Subj:     New York Driving Rules! (S265b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 2/19/2002

 Turn signals will give away your next move.  A real Long
 Island driver never uses them. Use of them in Massapequa
 may be illegal.

 Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance
 between you and the car in front of you, or the space
 will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even
 more dangerous situation.

 Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is
 considered "going with the flow."

 The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the
 chance you have of getting hit.

 Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive

 Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to
 ensurhat your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot
 massage as the brake pedal pulsates.  For those of you
 without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

 Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide
 useful information.  They are only there to make Long
 Island look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing
 the state police radar car parked on the median.

 Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

 Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as
 suggestions, and are apparently not enforceable during
 rush hour.

 Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident,
 or even if someone is just changing a tire.

 Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape
 and gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.

 It is assumed that state police cars passing at high
 speed may be followed in the event you need to make up
 a few minutes on your way to work, or the beach.

 Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change
 any of the previously listed rules.  These weather
 conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection
 process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

Subj:     Don't Tread On Me (S241b, DU)
          From: jerry on 9/12/2001

 In December, 1775, an American colonist (believed by many
 scholars to be Benjamin Franklin), noticed the increasing
 use of a symbol throughout the colonies, stamped onto
 barrels and other items, depicting a coiled rattlesnake
 with the words ''Don't Tread On Me'' written below the snake.
 And he wondered about how the symbol of a rattlesnake could
 be a symbol of the American desire for freedom?  He wrote
 the following words, after giving it some thought.  Words
 which are just as relevant now, in light of the attack, as
 they were back in 1775.

 "... the Rattle-Snake is found in no other quarter of the
 world besides America.  She never begins an attack, nor,
 when once engaged, ever surrenders: She is therefore an
 emblem of magnanimity and true courage. ... she never
 wounds 'till she has generously given notice, even to her
 enemy, and cautioned him against the danger of treading
 on her.''

 You can see images of this "Gadsden" flag as well as other
 U.S. flags using this symbolism at

 If the constant bombing of Britain by Hitler's Germany
 and the attack on Pearl Harbor by the imperial forces of
 Japan during WW II taught any lesson to those who commit
 atrocities, it's that attacking civilians and someone's
 homeland does not demoralize anyone nor gain any new
 supporters for a cause, but rather rallies people into a
 mightier, more dangerous retaliatory force.

 I am heartened by all the help coming from all around the
 world; from just about every country. I have read about
 long lines of people in other countries waiting for their
 turn to donate blood.  Yes, the world is full of wonderful
 and caring people.

 A father of one of the boys in my son's boy scout troop
 was on flight 11.  A co-worker's next door neighbor was
 on flight 11.  And a woman in town we know lost her
 daughter on flight 11.

 I've suspended publication of the Bonehead Of The Day
 Award during this solemn time.  I just don't feel like
 being silly right now.  I plan on resuming either later
 this week or next week.

 Jerry Lerman

Subj:     Nostradamus' Prediction on WW3 (S241, DU)
          From: jessnordman on 9/13/2001

 "In the year of the new century and nine months,
 From the sky will come a great King of Terror...
 The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
 Fire approaches the great new city..."
 "In the city of york there will be a great collapse,
 2 twin brothers torn apart by chaos
 while the fortress falls the great leader will succumb
 third big war will begin when the big city is burning"

 He said this will be bigger than the previous two.
 2001 is the first year of the new century and this is the
 9th month.  New York is located at the 41st degree Latitude.

 I attempted to read translations of the quatrains on WWIII.
 The best I could do was the following:

 At http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~jamesf/Nfaqs.html
 is a question/answer site about Nostradamus

 At http://www.faqs.org/faqs/nostradamus/part6/ is an
 interpretation of Nostradamus's quatrains on WWIII.

 At newsgroup alt.prophecies.nostradamus there were
 all sorts of opinions about New York and the predictions.

 I still don't know how accurate the above quote is.

Subj:     The Nostradamus Prophecy (S243)
          From: BennoRo on 9/25/2001

 Hi Alan,
 This piece sez that the great Nostradamus never wrote the
 quote recently attributed to him, now widespread on the net:

 Click here:
 This is just an Urban Legend.

 Ben Roesch

Subj:     From the Tonight Show with Jay Leno (S245)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 10/10/2001
 Now this really annoys me; all these people getting on
 the Internet and saying Nostradamus predicted this. If
 Nostradamus were alive today his name would be Miss Cleo
 and he'd be charging $2.99 a minute.

Subj:     New Yorkers And Their Cell Phones (S233b, DU)
          From: TAdams on 7/13/2001

 This is an excerpt from Michael Graham's column about New
 Yorkers, and their latest Cell Phone epiphany...

 Begin excerpt:
 The big breakthrough, however, came last week when the state
 of New York banned the use of hand-held cell phones while
 driving.  South Carolinians may be dumb, but we're not stupid.
 At least, not that stupid.

 When we saw the poll numbers showing that 85% of New Yorkers
 supported the cell phone ban, we Southerners just shook our
 heads and muttered "Only in New York."  By the way, my
 Yankee friends, if 85% of you think talking on cell phones
 while driving is bad...WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT DOWN YOUR DAMN
 PHONES?  Eight-five percent of the problem would be solved
 instantaneously, and without an overbearing, unnecessary law.

 Ah, but it is a uniquely Northern type of dumb that allows
 the government to deny the rights of all because of the
 foolish behavior of the few, and to be celebrated by the
 majority for doing so. This would never happen down South,
 where people unable to drive and talk at the same time used
 to be called dumb.  Now we call them "New Yorkers."

 Are some citizens incapable of driving safely while
 carrying on a conversation?  Of course.  What New Yorkers
 are laughably unable to grasp-but that we Southerners
 understand very well-is that stupid people will reveal
 their stupidity in their actions.  A moron is a moron,
 with or without a phone in his hand.

 If you New Yorkers really want safer streets, instead of
 arresting drivers for using a device that might distract
 them, why not just arrest drivers who are driving while
 distracted?  Any driver weaving from lane to lane, running
 stop signs and tailgating is a menace who should be
 stopped.  What difference does it make if this dangerous
 driver is talking on a phone, reading a book or buttering
 a bialy? (I used to live at 81st and York)

 The South has long been considered a more superstitious,
 less rational region of the nation.  But no Southern
 legislature would approve such a totemic ban on "evil"
 objects like cell phones.  (NY motto: "Bad Drivers Don't
 Kill People-Cell Phones Do")  A driver who plowed into a
 tree and then said, "It wasn't me, officer, it was this
 bad, bad talkin' machine" would be laughed right out of
 End excerpt.

Subj:     Top Twenty Signs You're From New York (DU)
          From: ossama on 98-07-08

  1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know
     that this means Manhattan.

  2. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill.

  3. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty
     or the Empire State Building.

  4. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get
     from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday
     before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

  5. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

  6. The subway makes sense.

  7. The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.

  8. You believe that being able to swear at people
     in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

  9. You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

 10. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple."

 11. Your door has more than three locks.

 12. You go to a hockey game for the fighting.
     In the stands.  To participate.

 13. Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

 14. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

 15. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

 16. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

 17. You complain about having to mow it.

 18. You are a skee-ball juggernaut.

 19. You consider Westchester "Upstate."

 20. You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Wapner.

Subj:     Pollster In New York (S188, S634b)
          from THE GAG ROOM, 03/16/97

 A pollster was taking opinions outside the United Nations
 building in New York City.  He approached four men waiting
 to cross the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and
 a resident New Yorker. He asked, "Excuse me, I would like
 to ask you your opinion on the current meat shortage?"

 The Saudi replied, "Excuse me, but what is a shortage?"

 The Russian said, "Excuse me, but what is meat?"

 The North Korean replied, "Excuse me, but what is an opinion?"

 The New Yorker replied, "Excuse me, but what is 'excuse me?'"

Subj:     Short New Yorker Jokes

Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (DU)
          By Dan Piraro on 10/23/2011
Drawing from CafePress.com
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsand
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute Sunday cartoon about New York.

Subj:     World Trade Center And Word (S242)
          From: pns on 9/21/2001
 Here is another one of these "Do You Believe" about the
 recent tragedy and the people who have organized this
 horrific terror..
 1- Open Microsoft Word or Word Perfect
 2- Type Q33 NY (That is the flight number of one of the
    airplanes that crashed into the World Trade Center)
 3- Change font size to: 26
 4- Change the font style to: Wingdings
 Do you think that this is also a coincidence ???

Subj:     Star Wars Premier In New York City (S551d)
          From: YouTube.com on 8/11/2007 (in ST1)
Picture from YouTube...
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOcKGc8ycCA
 (Click on 'Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog' for other videos)
 Conan O'Brien's "Insult Comic Dog" interviews nerds
 standing in line for the world premier of Star Wars
 Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones on May 16,2002 in
 New York City.    You can view it at the source
 above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     New York Tragedy And Education (S241b)
          From: jtgalvan on 9/13/2001
 In the wake of the terrible tragedy, the sleeping giant is
 awakening...and it becomes the challenge of the educational
 community to channel this emotion and heightened awareness
 of our freedom and democratic rights so hard earned by our
 forefathers into a positive outcome, with respect to all
 Americans, regardless of their ethnic origin...

Subj:     New York Pointer (S443b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/12/2005
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20001007

Subj:     Another Twin Towers Tribute (S337b)
          From: RFSlick on 7/17/2003
 Another great Twin Towers tribute video at

Subj:     The Twin Towers And Numbers (S241b)
          From: gheckman on 9/14/2001
 Date of the attack: 9/11 = 9 + 1 + 1 = 11.
 September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.
 After September 11th there are 111 days left to the end
    of the year.
 Twin Towers - standing side by side, looks like
    the number 11.
 The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11.
 State of New York - The 11th State added to the Union.
 New York City - 11 Letters.
 The Pentagon - 11 Letters.
 Afghanistan - 11 Letters.
 Ramzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted or orchestrating the
    attack on the WTC in 1993).
 Flight 11 -> 92 on board - 9 + 2 = 11.
 Flight 77 -> 65 on board - 6 + 5 = 11.

 There are some people out there with way too much time
 on their hands.

 In NYC it is illegal for a man to turn around and look
 "at a woman in that way", and violators are forced to wear
 horse blinders...

 Columbia University is the second largest landowner in
 New York City, after the Catholic Church.

From: auntieg on 98-11-14 (S190)
 Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently
 arrived immigrants.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 2/18/2002 (S274c)
 Q: Why are New Yorkers always depressed?
 A: The light at the end of their tunnel is New Jersey.

                           -(o o)-
..........................From Smiley_Central