Subj:     Sherlock Holmes Jokes
                 (Includes 11 jokes and articles, 21719n,4,cf,md4w,1)

Detective from
ARG! Cartoon Aimation Studio
Includes the following:  Mother Goose And Grimm (DU)
.........................Sherlock Holmes Riddle (S244b, DU)
.........................Sherlock Holmes Goes Camping (S255b, S640b)
.........................A.C.Doyle/S.Holmes Takes A Taxi (S54, S584c)
.........................Mother Goose And Grimm II (704b)
.........................Holmes Spots Three Ladies (S237b, DU)
.........................Peanuts Sunday Comic Strip (S630c)
.........................Short Holmes Stories

Also see ANIM-SUPP    - The Animal Stampede Mystery

Subj:     Mother Goose And Grimm (DU)
          by Mike Peters
          From: Grimmy.com on 11/2/2008
 Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php

Subj:     Sherlock Holmes Riddle (S244b, DU)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 10/3/2001

You are Sherlock Holmes. You investigate the murder case of
John and Mary. You go inside their house, there's broken
glass and water on the floor. How did they die?

Scroll down for the answer
Here it comes


They were goldfish.

Subj:     Sherlock Holmes Goes Camping (S255b, S640b)
          From: ossama on 98-08-27
      and From: From: darrellvip on 4/14/2009
          (Also see 'CO And 1st Sgt. Stare At The Stars' in SOLDIERS1)
 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping
 trip.  As they lay down for the night, Holmes
 asked: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me
 what you see".

 Watson said "I see millions and millions of stars".

Animated GIF from
SCHULACES3 on 10/16/2003
  Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

 Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it
 tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially
 billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn
 is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter
 past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-
 powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically,
 it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it
 tell you?"

 Holmes: "Elementary, my dear Watson.  Somebody stole our tent".

 In 2001 at The web site www.laughlab.co.uk/home.html this
 joke was voted the best of their 10,000 jokes.  47% of the
 100,000 people from 70 countries gave this joke the highest

Subj:     A.C.Doyle/S.Holmes Takes A Taxi (S54, S584c)
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-05-21

 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous
 detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales
 about himself in which he was the laughing-stock.  Here
 is one of those stories.  As he tells it, he was waiting
 at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris.
 When taxi pulled up, he put his suitcase in it and got
 in himself.  He was about to tell the taxi-driver where
 he wanted to go, when the driver asked him "Where can I
 take you, Mr. Doyle?"

 Doyle was flabbergasted.  He asked the driver whether he
 knew him by sight.  The driver said "No Sir, I have never
 seen you before."  The puzzled Doyle asked him what made
 him think that he was Conan Doyle.

 The driver replied "This morning's paper had a story about
 you being on vacation in Marseilles.  This is the taxi
 stand where people who return from Marseilles always come
 to.  Your skin colour tells me you have been on vacation.
 The ink-spot on your right index finger suggests to me that
 you are a writer.  Your clothing is very English, and not
 French.  Adding up all those pieces of information, I
 deduce that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."

 Doyle said "This is truly amazing.  You are a real-life
 counter-part to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes.

 "There is one other thing." the driver said.

 "What is that?"

 "Your name is on the front of your suitcase."

Subj:     Mother Goose And Grimm II (704b)
          by Mike Peters
          From: Grimmy.com on 7/12/2010
 Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php

Subj:     Holmes Spots Three Ladies (S237b, DU)
          From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
      and From: dogbyte on 8/17/2001

 "Good evening ladies", Sherlock Holmes said as he passed
 three women eating bananas on a park bench.

 "Do you know them?" Dr. Watson asked.

 "No", Holmes replied, "I've never met the nun, the
 prostitute, or the bride we just passed."

 "Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?"

 "Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by
 holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other
 hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces."

 "The prostitute", he continued, "grabbed with both hands
 and crammed the whole thing into her mouth."

 "Amazing!" Watson exclaimed. "But how did you know the
 third was a newlywed?"

 "Because she held it with one hand and pushed her head
 toward it with the other."

Subj:     Peanuts Sunday Comic Strip (S630c)
          By Charles M. Schulz
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/1/2009
 Source: http://comics.com/affiliate/washington_post/?ComicID=69

 You can see this funny Sunday comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Short Holmes Stories

 It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.
 Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories
 instead of theories to suit facts."  -- Sherlock Holmes

From: mombear1 on 8/21/2001 (S238)
 Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/26/2002 (S282b)
 Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains,
 no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
   -- Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1859-1930)

From: LABLaughs.com on 3/14/2008 (S584b)
 "I never guess.  It is a capital mistake to theorize before
 one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit
 theories, instead of theories to suit facts."
   -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

                           -(o o)-
............................From Smiley_Central