Subj: Leprechaun Jokes
(Includes 7 jokes and articles, 02 1042n,1,cf,wXT5a,0)
Also see GENIE file - (See
NUNS1 file - 'Mother Superior And The Leprechans'
Subj: Leprechaun Village (DU)
By Chris Beatrice
Subj: Drunk Wakes Up With Amnesia (S404, S674)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 9/28/2004
After a night of heavy drinking
a guy wakes up in a stupor,
opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next
to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't
remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He
decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge.
He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with
a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge,
puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This
is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing
his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to
the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front
lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an
open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and
shouting. Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly
draws the blind and turns around.
In the corner of his kitchen
is a leprechaun, obviously drunk
as well. He asks the leprechaun what is going on. "Well,"
says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as
I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across
the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three
wishes in return for saving me."
"Well, I can guess the first
one" says the guy, "Supermodel,
bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"
"The money in the fridge?" says
the leprechaun, "You asked
for a cool million."
"And them out there?" asks the guy,
"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."
Subj: Leprechaun At The Urinal (S163, S565)
This guy was standing at a urinal
lettin' the beer pass
through when up walks a leprechaun who starts pissin' at
the next one. The guy tries to sustain from looking but
couldn't help it. He cops a peek at this three foot high
little dudes' Dick. "Oh my GOD" the man yells. "How the
fuck did you get a dick that big?!!!". The
Leprechaun smiles sort of slylike
and says " I am a
Leprechaun, Sir, I can have what ever I want". The man,
in complete shock, can't take his eyes off this 18 inch
cock. "Do you think you could give me an 18 inch dick?"
the man asks. "Why sure", says the Leprechaun, " I can
give you three wishes if you do me one favor."
The guy starts thinking about
how his buddies will be
imprest with his new monster dong that he impatiently
asks the Leprechaun if he can have his three wishes first
and then do the favor.
"Well what do you want?" asked the Leprechaun.
"I want 10 million dollars, 3
Beautiful blondes in my
bed when I get home, and an 18 inch dick." said the guy.
"You will have an 18 inch dick
and your other two wishes."
laughed the Leprechaun. "But you still owe me that favor
or your wishes will not come true."
"O.k." the man said "But what is it you want me to do?"
"It's Pretty hard for me to get
a chic to have sex with me
as I am only three feet tall and I have an 18 inch dick"
said the Leprechaun.
"Yeah." said the man.
"So" said the Leprechaun " I want you to have sex with me!"
Now as you could expect anyone
would do this little favor,
10 million dollars.....3 babes.....an 18 inch dick.....
"Sure...O.K. " said the man.
After about 10 minutes of some
hard anal slamming the
Leprechaun pulls his 18 inch cock out of the man in an
awsome cum-plosion, as blood runs down the mans legs.
"Why are you laughing so hard?"
the man asked as his legs
trembled beneath him.
"How old are you, son?" the Leprechaun asked him.
"I am 25 years old." the man replied.
The Leprechaun, Laughing hysterically,
says "25 years old
and you still believe in Leprechauns!!!!!!"
Subj: Golfer Meets Leprechaun (S278, S1042)
From: From: Dickschu on 4/28/2005
and From: darrellvip on 3/9/2009
One fine day in Ireland, a guy
is out golfing and gets up to
the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it
goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes
looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with
this huge knot on his head and the golf ball laying beside
him. "Goodness," says the golfer and proceeds to revive
the little guy.
Upon awakening the little guy
says, "Well, you caught me
fair and square. I am a leprechaun and I will grant you
The man says "I can't take anything
from you, I'm just
glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.
Watching the golfer depart, the
leprechaun thinks to
himself, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did
catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give
him three things that I would want. I'll give him
unlimited money, a great golf game and a fantastic sex
Well, a year goes by and the
same golfer is out golfing
on the same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits
one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball.
When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and
asks how he is doing.
The leprechaun says, "I'm fine,
and might I ask how your
golf game is?""
"It's great! I hit under par every time."
"I did that for you. And might
I ask how your money is
The golfer says, "Well, now that
you mention it, every
time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred
"I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?"
The golfer looks at him a little
shyly and says, "Well,
maybe once or twice a week."
The leprechaun is floored and
stammers, "Once or twice a
"Well, that's not too bad for
a Catholic priest in a small
Subj: Short Leprichaun Jokes
From: LABLaughsClean (S413b) on 12/24/2004
"People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly
than they have." Anne Tyler (1941 - ), Celestial Navigation
From: LABLaughsClean (S413b) on 12/27/2004
"A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck."
James A. Garfield (1831 - 1881)
From: LABLaughsClean (S413b) on 12/28/2004
"We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the
success of those we don't like?" Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)