Subj:     Leprechaun Jokes
                 (Includes 6 jokes and articles, 25749n,0,cf,md4w,0)

Leprechaun from
Includes the following:  Drunk Wakes Up With Amnesia (S404, S674)
.........................Leprechaun At The Urinal (S163, S565)
.........................Golfer Meets Leprechaun (S278, S635c)
.........................Short Leprichaun Jokes

Also see GENIE file   - (See whole file)
         NUNS1 file   - 'Mother Superior And The Leprechans'

Subj:     Drunk Wakes Up With Amnesia (S404, S674)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 9/28/2004

 After a night of heavy drinking a guy wakes up in a stupor,
 opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next
 to him.  He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't
 remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her.  He
 decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge.
 He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with
 a large suitcase.  He takes the suitcase out of the fridge,
 puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million.  This
 is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing
 his mind.  He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to
 the window and draws back the blind.  Outside on his front
 lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an
 open noose, empty.  They appear to be beckoning him and
 shouting.  Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly
 draws the blind and turns around.

 In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk
 as well.  He asks the leprechaun what is going on.  "Well,"
 says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as
 I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across
 the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three
 wishes in return for saving me."

 "Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel,
 bed, yeah I got that one.  What about the other two?"

 "The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked
 for a cool million."

 "And them out there?" asks the guy,

 "You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."

Subj:     Leprechaun At The Urinal (S163, S565)

 This guy was standing at a urinal lettin' the beer pass
 through when up walks a leprechaun who starts pissin' at
 the next one.  The guy tries to sustain from looking but
 couldn't help it.  He cops a peek at this three foot high
 little dudes' Dick.  "Oh my GOD" the man yells.  "How the
 fuck did you get a dick that big?!!!". The

 Leprechaun smiles sort of slylike and says " I am a
 Leprechaun, Sir, I can have what ever I want".  The man,
 in complete shock, can't take his eyes off this 18 inch
 cock.  "Do you think you could give me an 18 inch dick?"
 the man asks. "Why sure", says the Leprechaun, " I can
 give you three wishes if you do me one favor."

 The guy starts thinking about how his buddies will be
 imprest with his new monster dong that he impatiently
 asks the Leprechaun if he can have his three wishes first
 and then do the favor.

 "Well what do you want?" asked the Leprechaun.

 "I want 10 million dollars, 3 Beautiful blondes in my
 bed when I get home, and an 18 inch dick." said the guy.

 "You will have an 18 inch dick and your other two wishes."
 laughed the Leprechaun. "But you still owe me that favor
 or your wishes will not come true."

 "O.k." the man said "But what is it you want me to do?"

 "It's Pretty hard for me to get a chic to have sex with me
 as I am only three feet tall and I have an 18 inch dick"
 said the Leprechaun.

 "Yeah." said the man.

 "So" said the Leprechaun " I want you to have sex with me!"

 Now as you could expect anyone would do this little favor,
 10 million dollars.....3 babes.....an 18 inch dick.....
 "Sure...O.K. " said the man.

 After about 10 minutes of some hard anal slamming the
 Leprechaun pulls his 18 inch cock out of the man in an
 awsome cum-plosion, as blood runs down the mans legs.

 "Why are you laughing so hard?" the man asked as his legs
 trembled beneath him.

 "How old are you, son?" the Leprechaun asked him.

 "I am 25 years old." the man replied.

 The Leprechaun, Laughing hysterically, says "25 years old
 and you still believe in Leprechauns!!!!!!"

Subj:     Golfer Meets Leprechaun (S278, S635c)
          From: From: Dickschu on 4/28/2005
      and From: darrellvip on 3/9/2009

 One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to
 the 16th hole.  He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it
 goes into the woods on the side of the fairway.  He goes
 looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with
 this huge knot on his head and the golf ball laying beside
 him.  "Goodness," says the golfer and proceeds to revive
 the little guy.

 Upon awakening the little guy says, "Well, you caught me
 fair and square. I am a leprechaun and I will grant you
 three wishes."

 The man says "I can't take anything from you, I'm just
 glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.

 Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun thinks to
 himself, "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did
 catch me, so I have to do something for him.  I'll give
 him three things that I would want.  I'll give him
 unlimited money, a great golf game and a fantastic sex

 Well, a year goes by and the same golfer is out golfing
 on the same course at the 16th hole.  He gets up and hits
 one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball.
 When he finds the ball he sees the same little guy and
 asks how he is doing.

 The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your
 golf game is?""

 "It's great! I hit under par every time."

 "I did that for you. And might I ask how your money is
 holding out?"

 The golfer says, "Well, now that you mention it, every
 time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred
 dollar bill."

 "I did that for you. And might I ask how your sex life is?"

 The golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, "Well,
 maybe once or twice a week."

 The leprechaun is floored and stammers, "Once or twice a

 "Well, that's not too bad for a Catholic priest in a small

Subj:     Short Leprichaun Jokes

From: LABLaughsClean (S413b) on 12/24/2004
 "People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly
 than they have." Anne Tyler (1941 - ), Celestial Navigation

From: LABLaughsClean (S413b) on 12/27/2004
 "A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck."
 James A. Garfield (1831 - 1881)

From: LABLaughsClean (S413b) on 12/28/2004
 "We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the
 success of those we don't like?" Jean Cocteau (1889 - 1963)

                           -(o o)-
.............................From Smiley_Central