Subj:     Blonde2 Jokes
                 (Includes 63 jokes and articles, 11891n,6,cf,md4w,5)

Blonde Man from
ARG! Cartoon Aimation Studio
Includes the following:  Dumb Blonde On Game Show - Video (S571)
.........................Bartender Spills Beer On Blonde (S636c)
.........................Blonde Burial At Sea (S596b)
.........................Blonde Football (S350b, S620b)
.........................Blonde Wants To Cross The Street (S335, S570c)
.........................Blonde Prays To God For Lotto Win (S333b)
.........................Blonde Tries To Commit Suicide (S298b)
.........................Blonde Gets Windows Installed (S269c, S609c)
.........................Blonde Painter (S200)
.........................Blonde Rents Porn Tape (S174)
.........................Blonde Answers Questions To Become Deputy (S169, S377)
.........................Goldie Meets Man On Beach (S167)
.........................Blonde's Car Breaks Down (S135, S524)
.........................Blonde's Husband Has Heart Attack (S139, S670b)
.........................Blonde, Brunette, And Redhead In Desert (S137)
.........................The Ventiloquist (S129, S338)
.........................Contest Judges - Photo (S413b)
.........................Two Blonde Bank Robbers (S123)
.........................Brunette Jokes (S121)
.........................A Blonde Stuck In A Snow Storm (S119, S369)
.........................Boss Leaves Early (S85)
.........................How Do U Keep A Blonde Amused For Hours? (S68)
.........................The Official Blondes Sex Quiz.(S283)
                         Short Blonde Jokes
..............................Blonde Password - GIF (S688b)
..............................Cosmetic Surgery (S280)
..............................A Little Blonde Test (S578b)
..............................Blonde Vs Roe ? Wade (S308b)
..............................T-G-I-F (S273, S460b)
..............................Extinction Of Blondes (S296)
..............................Where Babies Come From (S241)
..............................Blonde Walks With Her Blouse Open (S293b)
..............................Blonde's Wife Has Baby (S187)
..............................Blonde's Car Is Dented (S173)
..............................Blonde And The State Capitals
..............................Head And Shoulders (S127, S619b)
..............................Blonde Plays Trivial Pursuit (S102, S358)
..............................Swimming Race
..............................A Brunette Says '21' (S56)
..............................Blonde Buys A Thermos
..............................A Blonde And The Coke Machine

Also see PENIS1 file  - 'Sun Burned Dick'
BLONDE1 ? 2 file contains jokes
BLONDE3 file contains Q?A jokes

Subj:     Dumb Blonde On Game Show (S571d)
          From: darrellvip on 12/31/2007
 This dumb blonde appeared on "Are You smarter than
 a Fifth Grader".  Click 'HERE' to view the show.

Subj:     Bartender Spills Beer On Blonde (S636c)
          From: darrellvip on 3/20/2009

 A guy orders a beer.  The bartender fills the mug and
 slides it down the bar.  It hits a blonde's boobs and
 splashes all over them.

 The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks
 the beer off her boobs.  Each time the guy calls for
 another beer this happens.

 So after his third beer, he decides to help the bartender out.
 The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps
 up and starts to lick her breasts...  SHE DECKS HIM!

 He is laying on the floor moaning and groaning, 'Jeez lady...
 why do you let the bartender do it?'

 'Because,' says the blonde, 'He has a licker license

Subj:     Blonde Burial At Sea (S596b)
          From: rfslick on 6/18/2008

 Chrisy and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their
 uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life,
 to bury him at sea when he died.

 Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes
 kept their promise.  They set off from Clearwater Beach with
 their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto
 their rowboat.

 After a while Chrisy says, 'Do you think we're out far enough,
 Barbie?'  Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water
 only knee deep said, 'nope, not yet Chrisy'.  So they rowed a
 little farther...

 Again Chrisy asks Barbie, 'Do you think we're out far enough

 Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately
 says, 'No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest.'

 So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over
 the side and disappears.  Quite a bit of time goes by and poor
 Chrisy is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks
 the surface gasping for breath.

 'Well is it deep enough yet, Sis?'

 'Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel.'

Subj:     Blonde Football (S350b, S620b)
          From: JBCARY1 on 10/9/2003
      and From: darrellvip on 11/24/2008

 A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
 They had  great seats right behind the bench.  After the
 game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

 "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "especially the really
 tight pants and all of the big muscles, but I just couldn't
 understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."

 Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What on earth do you mean?"

 "Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then
 for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: "Get
 the quarter back!  Get the quarter back!"

Subj:     Blonde Wants To Cross The Street (S335, S570c)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 6/18/2003

 The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway
 and 72nd Street, so the blonde stood with a large crowd of
 people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.

 Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd,
 and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The throng surged across
 Broadway -- all except the blonde, who stayed on the corner.

 When the walkers were safely on the other side of the
 street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the
 intersection. Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on
 Broadway and sent the 72nd Street traffic into motion.

 Again, he got around to the blonde's corner, where by this
 time she had again been joined by a crowd of people.

 Tweeeeeeeet! "Okay, pedestrians!"

 The crowd crossed the street, but again the blonde stayed
 put.  She looked at her watch and tapped her foot but never
 budged from the sidewalk.

 Finally, after the cop yelled "Okay, pedestrians!" for the
 third time, the blonde shouted across traffic, "Yo!
 Officer!  Isn't it about time you let the Catholics cross?"

Subj:     Blonde Prays To God For Lotto Win (S333b)
          From: Grampsboyd on 5/28/2003

 A blonde finds herself in serious trouble.  Her business
 has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits.  She's
 so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.  She
 begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my
 business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose
 my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

 Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.

 She again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto!
 I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my
 car as well." The Lotto night comes and she still has no

 Once again, she prays... "My God, why have You forsaken me?
 I've lost my business, my house, and my car.  My children
 are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have
 always been a good servant to You.

 PLEASE let me win the lotto just this one time so I can get
 my life back in order."

 Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens
 open.  The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself...

 "Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket."

Subj:     Blonde Tries To Commit Suicide (S298b)
          From: flovilla on 10/13/2002

 A blonde hurries into the emergency romm late one night
 with the tip of her index finger shot off.

 "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

 "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

 "What?" sputtered the doctor.

 "You tried to commit suicide by shooting you finger off?"

 "No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
 chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000 for these breast
 implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

 "So then?" asked the doctor.

 "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid
 $3,000 to get my teeth straightned, I'm not shooting myself
 in the mouth."

 "So then?"

 "Then I put the gun in my ear, and I thought; This is going
 to make a loud noise.  So I put my finger in the other ears
 before I pulled the trigger."

Subj:     Blonde Gets Windows Installed (S269c, S609c)
          From: Anaise on 3/26/2002
      and From: tom on 9/8/2008

 A young blonde lady had the windows in her house replaced
 with new double-insulated energy efficient windows.

 Twelve months later she gets a call from the contractor,
 complaining that the work has been done for a year and
 she has yet to make the first payment.

 The blonde replies, "Now don't try to pull a fast one on
 me!  The salesman who sold me those told me that in one
 year they would pay for themselves."

Subj:     Blonde Painter (S200)
          From: BartendJOTD on 11/30/2000

 A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
 these blond jokes, and of how all blondes are perceived as
 stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes
 really are smart.  While her husband is off at work, she
 decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the

 The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she
 gets down to the task at hand.  Her husband arrives home at
 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.  He walks
 into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor
 in a pool of sweat.

 He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat
 at the same time.  He rushes over and says, "Jeez, are you
 all right?"  She slowly nods her head yes.  "What are you
 doing?" he asks incredulously.  "I wanted to prove that not
 all blonde women are dumb," she started, "and I wanted to
 do it by painting the house."  "Well why do you have both
 a ski jacket and a fur coat on?" he asked dumbfounded.

 "Well," she says, "I was reading the directions on the paint
 can and it said: For best results, put on two coats."

Subj:     Blonde Rents Porn Tape (S174)
          From: thebartend on 6/3/00

 A blonde decides to do something wild that she hasn't done
 before --rent her first X-rated adult video.  She goes to
 the video store and after looking around for a while,
 selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

 She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something
 comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.  To her disap-
 pointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so
 she calls the video store to complain.

 The blonde says, "I just rented an adult movie from you,
 and there's nothing on the tape but static."

 The store clerk replies, "Sorry about that.  We've had
 problems with some of those tapes.  Which title did you

 The blonde says, "It's called Head Cleaner."

Subj:     Blonde Answers Questions To Become Deputy (S169, S377)
          From: collins2 on 4/17/00
      and From: Grampsboyd on 4/7/2004

 The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde
 went in to try out for the job.

 "Okay," the sheriff drawled. "What is 1 and 1?"

 "Eleven," she replied.

 The sheriff thought to himself, "That`s not what I meant,
 but she`s right."

 "What two days of the week start with the letter `T`?"

 "Today and tomorrow."

 He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct
 answer that he had never thought of himself.

 "Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

 The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought
 really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don`t know."

 "Well, why don`t you go home and work on that one for a while?"

 So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her
 pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.  The
 blonde was exultant.

 "It went great!  First day on the job and I`m already working
 on a murder case!"

Subj:     Goldie Meets Man On Beach (S167)
          From: thebartend on 4/12/00

 Goldie was sitting on a beach in Florida, attempting to strike
 up a conversation with the attractive gentleman reading on the
 blanket beside hers. "Hello, sir," she said, "Do you like

 "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

 Goldie persisted. "Do you like gardening?"

 The man again looked up from his book. "Yes, I do," he said
 politely before returning to his reading.

 Undaunted, Goldie asked. "Do you like pussycats?"

 With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Goldie,
 ravaging her as she'd never been ravaged before.

 As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie dragged herself
 to a sitting position and panted, "How did you know that was
 what I wanted?"

 The man thought for a moment and replied, "How did you know
 my name was Katz?"

Subj:     Blonde's Car Breaks Down (S135, S524)
          From: collins2 on 3/5/00
      and From: darrell94590 on 1/30/2007

 A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day.
 So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.

 She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
 Takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them
 at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.  The
 lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their
 nude bodies to approaching drivers...

 Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up.
 It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.

 The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the
 disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

 "My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.

 "Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures
 doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer...

 And she said....

 (This is good...)


 (Remember, she's a blonde...)

 "Those are my emergency flashers!" she replied.

Subj:     Blonde's Husband Has Heart Attack (S139, S670b)
          From: collins2 10/01/1999
      and From: darrellvip on 11/13/2009
 Click 'HERE' to view this cute joke.
Subj:     Blonde, Brunette, And Redhead In Desert (S137)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 8/30/99

 There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead traveling
 through the desert when their car suddenly stalls.  They
 all get out of the car and, upon realizing that it's not
 going to start, they each take one thing from the car.
 The brunette takes a bottle of water, the redhead takes a
 bag of food with her, and the blonde takes the car door.

 They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to
 rest.  At this point the blonde and the brunette turn to
 the redhead and ask her why she brought the food.  She
 replies, "Well, in case I get hungry I'll have something
 to eat."

 They all think this is pretty reasonable and then the
 redhead and the blonde turn to the brunette and ask her
 why she decided to bring water.  The brunette replies,
 "Well, in case I got thirsty I'll have something to drink."
 They all decide that's a good idea, too.

 Finally, the brunette and the redhead turn to the blonde
 and ask her why on earth she would take the car door.  She
 replies, "Well, I thought if I got hot I could roll down
 the window."

Subj:     The Ventiloquist (S129, S338)
          From: RFSlick on 7/14/99
      and From: LABLaughs.com on 7/20/2003
 (Also see 'Ventriloquist Takes Act To Mississippi' in REDNECK3)

 A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to
 entertain at a bar in a small town.  He`s going through his
 usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman
 in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "I`ve heard
 just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, asshole!
 What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
 What does a person`s physical attributes have to do with
 their worth as a human being?  It`s guys like you who keep
 women like me from being respected at work and in my
 community, of reaching my full potential as a person, because
 you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination
 against not only blondes but women at large - all in the name
 of humor!"

 Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the
 blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this.  Mister, I`m talking
 to that little guy on your knee!"

Subj:     Contest Judges (S413b)
          From: BennoRo on 12/23/2004

Subj:     Two Blonde Bank Robbers (S123)
          From: KMacinty on 6/1/99

 Two blondes decided to rob a bank together.  The first
 blonde, Judy, plans the robbery and goes over the plan
 with the second blonde, Buffie, in great detail.

 The robbery begins.  Judy drives up in front of the bank,
 stops the car and says to Buffie, "I want to make absolutely
 sure you understand the plan.  You are supposed to be in and
 out of the bank in no more than three minutes with the cash.
 Do you understand the plan?"

 "Perfectly," said Buffie.

 Buffie goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.

 One minute passes . . .

 Two minutes pass . . .

 Seven minutes pass . . . and Judy is really stressing out.

 Finally, the bank doors burst open!  And here comes Buffie.
 She's got a safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to
 the car.  About the time she gets the safe in the trunk of
 the car, the bank doors burst open again with the security
 guard coming out.  The guard's pants and underwear are down
 around his ankles while he is firing his weapon.

 As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a
 blonde!  I thought you understood the plan!"

 Buffie said, "I did. I did exactly what you said!"

 "No, you idiot," said Judy.  "You got it all mixed up.  I
 said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

Subj:     Brunette Jokes (S121)
          From: KMacinty on 5/24/99

 Well, the blondes finally got their act together
 and got back at the brunettes. Here's their revenge:

 Q: What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
 A: Brown-bagging it.

 Q: What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
 A: No one else wants it.

 Q: Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
 A: So brunettes can remember them.

 Q: What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
 A: Invisible.

 Q: What's a brunette's mating call?
 A: "Has the blonde left yet?"

 Q: Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
 A: The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

 Q: What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
 A: The invitation

 Q: What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
 A: A hostage

Subj:     A Blonde Stuck In A Snow Storm (S119, S369)
          From: RFSlick on 5/12/99
      and From: Grampsboyd on 2/14/2004
          (See 'Snowplowing In Ottawa' in CANADIAN)

 A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm.  She remembered
 what her dad had once told her.  "If you ever get stuck in a
 snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."

 Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.
 She followed the plow for about forty five minutes.  Finally
 the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was
 doing.  She explained that her dad had told her if she ever
 got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

 The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart,
 now you can follow me over to K-Mart"

Subj:     Boss Leaves Early (S85)
          From: FrankRoesc on 98-09-17

 Several girls all work in the same office with the same
 female boss.  Every day, they noticed the boss left work
 early.  One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left,
 they'd be right behind her.  After all, she never called or
 came back, so how was she to know?

 The brunette was thrilled to be home early.  She did a
 little gardening and went to bed early.  The redhead was
 elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa
 before meeting a dinner date.  The blonde was happy happy
 happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she
 heard a muffled noise from inside.  Slowly, quietly, she
 cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband
 in bed with HER BOSS!!!  Ever so gently, she closed the
 door and crept out of her house.

 The next day, at coffee break, the brunette and redhead
 mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she
 was with them. "Hell no!," she exclaimed, "I almost got
 caught yesterday!"

Subj:     How Do U Keep A Blonde Amused For Hours? (S68)
          From: RFSlick on 98-05-19

                        Scroll Down
                        Scroll Up

Subj:     The Official Blondes Sex Quiz. (S283)
          Compiled by Max Weinstein on 11/15/94

 TRUE-FALSE 1.  Pubic hair is a wild rabbit in Colorado.
            2.  "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird.
            3.  A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
            4.  The G-string is part of a violin.
            5.  Anus is the latin word for yearly.
            6.  Testicles are found on an octopus.
            7.  KOTEX is a radio station in Bryon, Texas.
            8.  Fetus is a charactor in "Gunsmoke".
            9.  An unbilical chord is part of a parachute.
           10.  A diaphram is a drawing in geometry.
           11.  A lesbian is a person from the middle east.
           12.  Sodomy is a special kind of fast growing grass.
           13.  Genitals are people of non-jewish origins.
           14.  Douche is the Italian word for twelve.
           15.  An enema is someone who is not your friend.
           16.  Scrotum is a small moon orbiting Uranus.
           17.  Climax is a weather balloon.
           18.  Condom is a small apartment complex.
           19.  Homo is pasturized milk from Nebraska.
           20.  Menopause is a button on the VHS remote control.

Subj:     Short Blonde Jokes

Subj:     Blonde Password (S688b)
          From: darrellvip on 3/24/2010
Animated GIF from NutRocker.co.uk...
 Click 'HERE' to read this cute, silly joke.

Subj:     Cosmetic Surgery (S280)
          From: http://www.twistedhumor.com on 9/30/2000
 Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the
 merits of cosmetic surgery.  The first woman says, "I
 need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job."

 The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking
 of having my asshole bleached!"

 To which the first replies, "Whoa I just can't picture
 your husband as a blonde!"

Subj:     A Little Blonde Test (S578b)
          From: tom
          on 2/2/2008
 Look closely at the picture and decide which model is a
 blonde.  Then look below to check your answer.  Click
 'HERE' to start.

Subj:     Blonde Vs Roe ? Wade (S308b)
          From: pns on 12/22/2002
 Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat
 in her US government class.  The professor asked Bambi if
 she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the
 question then finally said, "That was the decision George
 Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

Subj:     T-G-I-F (S273, S460b) 
          From: RFSlick on 4/19/2002 
      and From: darrell94590 on 11/17/06
 To view this cute joke w/cartoon on my web site click 'HERE'.

Subj:     Extinction Of Blondes (S296)
          From: jerry on 10/1/2002
 Bonehead award one goes to CNN, ABC News, Reuters, Stuff
 (New Zealand), The London Daily Mail, the BBC and a host
 of other large media news sources which reported yesterday
 that the World Health Organization (WHO) concluded that
 blonds would become extinct by 2202 owing to the blond
 gene being recessive.

 WHO never released such a report, for those of you who
 still believe that the media always checks their stories
 for accuracy.

 Australian Broadcasting Corp 2-Oct-02

Subj:     Where Babies Come From (S241)
          From: thebartend on 9/12/2001
 A blonde teenage girl comes home from school and asks her
 mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me... babies come
 out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"

 "Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject
 had finally come up, and she wouldn't have to explain it
 to her daughter.

 "But then when I have a baby," responded the blonde
 teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"

Subj:     Blonde Walks With Her Blouse Open (S293b)
          From: coreymac on 9/10/2002
 A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open
 and her right breast hanging out.  A policeman approaches
 her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you
 for indecent exposure?" She says, Why, officer?" "Because
 your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH
 MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

Subj:     Blonde's Wife Has Baby (S187)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 08/25/2000
 A blond man frantically calls 911 and says, "Help...my wife
 has gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart".

 The 911 operator asks, "is this her first child?"

 To which the blond replies, "Of course not, you idiot...this
 is her husband".

Subj:     Blonde's Car Is Dented (S173)
          From: collins2 on 5/22/00
 A blonde is driving home one night when her car is hit by a
 bad hailstorm, leaving hundreds of dents.  The next day she
 goes to a body shop for a repair estimate.  The repairman
 winks at his buddy and tells the blonde that if she blows
 into the tailpipe really hard, the dents will just pop out.

 After she arrive home, she blows with all her might into the
 exhaust pipe.  Her roommate asks what she's doing.  The blonde
 explains the repairman's tip.  "But it doesn't work," she say,
 pausing to catch her breath.

 "Duh!" replies her friend.  "You have to roll up the windows

Subj:     Blonde And The State Capitals
          From: PGSP4LIFE on 10/03/1999

     See 'Blonde Proves She Is Smart' in BLONDE1 file

Subj:     Head And Shoulders (S127, S619b)
         From: FrankRoesc on 7/1/99
     and From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/10/2008
 A blonde and a brunette were both in an elevator.  On the
 third floor a man got on who was perfect: Italian suit,
 handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately
 they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff.
 The man got off on the 5th floor.
 Once the doors close, the brunette turned to the blonde
 and said, "Someone should give him Head and Shoulders."
 To which the blonde replied, "How do you give Shoulders???"

Subj:     Blonde Plays Trivial Pursuit (S102, S358)
          From: humorlist-digest V3 #5 on 99-01-06
      and From: Imogenelumen on 12/9/2003
 A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.  It was
 her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science
 ? Nature".  Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum
 and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

 She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

Subj:     Swimming Race
          From: RBishop707 on 97-11-13
 So there's a blonde, brunette, and a red-head that are
 to race from an island to shore, doing the breast-stroke.
 They all start out from the island together.  The brunette
 comes in first.  The red-head comes in second.  Hours
 later the blonde arrives at the shore and everyone asks,
 "What happened to you?!"  The blonde replies, "Well, I
 don't want to complain, but those other women used their

Subj:     A Brunette Says '21' (S56)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #49 on 98-02-20
 A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from
 rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21".

 A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her.  She
 also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21".

 Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle, and she jumps
 off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the
 place.  The brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail,
 counting, "22" "22""22".

Subj:     Blonde Buys A Thermos
          From: DR SWITZER on 98-04-24
 There's this blonde who walks into a convenient store.  She
 picks up a thermos and asks the clerk, "What is this thing?"
 The clerk respondes, "It's a thermos.  It keeps hot things
 hot and cold things cold."

 "Neat," says the blonde and buys the thermos.

 The next day she goes to work with her new thermos.  A co-
 worker asks her, "I like your new thermos.  What do you have
 in it?" She proudly says, "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

Subj:     A Blonde And The Coke Machine
          From: Tom_Adams on 98-04-29
 A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin.
 Out pops a coke.  The blonde looks amazed and runs away
 to get some more coins.  She returns and starts feeding
 the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding
 out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and
 watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her
 and asking if someone else could have a go.  The blonde
 spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm

 Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and
 checked out a book called "How to Hug"?  Got back to the
 dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.

 A blonde walked into a hardware store, picked up the hinges
 she was looking for, and went to go pay for them.  The clerk
 asked her, "Need a screw for those hinges?"
 "No, but how about a blow job for the shovel in the back?"

 Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked
 down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks."  The other
 blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are
 wolf tracks."  "No.  Those are deer tracks."  They keep
 arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were
 both killed by a train.

 A blonde goes into a bar.  The bartender asks her what she
 would like, and she replies, "Bring me a beer."
 The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?"
 To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your cock?"

From: http://www.thejokelibrary.com on 12/26/03 (S360b)
 Sherwin Williams has come out with a new paint color called
 "Blonde."  -- It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

 Brunette:  "How many sheep does it take to knit a sweater?"
 Blonde:    "I didn't even know they could knit."

 Brunette:  "How's your insomnia?"
 Blonde:    "Even worse.  Now I can't sleep at work."

 Brunette:  "Why are you so popular with the men?"
 Blonde:    "I give up..."   {Think about it...}

 BLONDE #1:  "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
 BLONDE #2:  "No, who wrote it?"

 A blonde caught for speeding went before the judge.
 The judge said, "What do you want?   30 days or $30?"
 --The blonde replied, "I'd like the money.  Thank you."

 The blonde was over heard at the little General Store,
 saying, -- "Why do you call this a general store if you
 don't sell generals here?"

 On an application blank, what does a blonde put down for
 SEX_____?  -- YES!

 Confucius say:
 --"Blonde who fly upside down have dark hairy crack up."
 --"Blonde not all blonde by cracky!"

 The horny blonde says, "Wanna play carnival? -- That's
 where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight."

 A cop stops a blonde driving the wrong way on a one-way
 Cop:    "Didn't you see the arrows?"
 Blonde: "I didn't even see the Indians."

 Two blondes were studying astronomy together.  "What's a
    comet?" asked one.
 "I think it's a star with a tail," her friend answered.
 "Oh, I see, sorta like Benji huh?"

 Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the
    door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
 Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
 Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder,
    its starting to rain and the top is down!

 The doctor told the blonde she was iron deficient, so she
 took up nail biting.

 Do you know why Barbie never gets pregnant? 'cause Ken
 comes in another box !

 Three fourth graders, a brunette, redhead and a blonde,
 who is the smartest? The blonde she is 16.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #178
 A highway patrolman stopped a blonde who had been driving
 at a high rate of speed.  He told her that she had been
 driving 90 miles an hour.  She exclaimed, "Why officer,
 that's impossible! I only left my house about thirty
 minutes ago!"

From: Bawdy.Net All Female Collage #196 on 97-09-14
 Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well
 over 90 mph.  "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel,
 "see any cops following us?"  The blonde turned around
 for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
 "Fuck!" cursed the brunette. "Are his flashers on?
 The blonde turned around again.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #213 on 97-11-29
 A man comes home from work one night to catch his blonde
 girlfriend sliding down the banister, naked.  He blurts
 out, "What do you think you're doing!?"

 "Just heating up dinner." she replies.

From: humorlist-digest V2 #49 on 98-02-20
 A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the
 brunette said "Oh, look at the dead bird."

 The Blonde looked skyward and said "Where, where?"

From: humorlist-digest V2 #87 on 98-04-09
 A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her
 husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop
 and buys a handgun.  The next day she comes home to find
 her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.  She grabs
 the gun and holds it to her own head.  The husband jumps
 out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot
 herself.  Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband,
 "shut up...you're next!"

From: humorlist-digest V2 #297 on98-12-18 (S231b)
and From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/28/2001
 I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I
 know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
    -- Dolly Parton

From: LABLaughsClean on 11/24/2004 (S410b)
 If You Only Have One Life To Live,
 Live It As If You Were A Blonde.

                           -(o o)-
...........................From Smiliemania.da
Another Smiley Bunny f