Subj: Redneck-Supp Jokes
(Includes 65 jokes and articles, 10769n,40,cf)
Hillbilly
from
Animated Cliparts
| >>>
Subj: Redneck-Supp Jokes (Includes 65 jokes and articles, 10769n,40,cf) |
|
Hillbilly from Animated Cliparts |
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Subj:
Jackass 3D Paintball Duck Hunting (S757)
From: kgilmour2000 on 7/14/2011 |
In Theaters on October 15th,
2010, The JACKASS pranksters
are at it again in this third
outing presented for the
first time in 3D -- an effect
that will no doubt redefine
the use of the in-your-face
technology. Click on the
above source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to see this cute,
bizarre, redneck stunt.
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Subj: Cletus
& Billy Bob (S733)
From: tom on 1/26/2011
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's
hay barn one day when,
through a gap in the door, he
sees Billy Bob doing a slow
and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs
a slow pirouette, and gently
slides off first the right strap
of his overalls, followed
by the left. He then hunches
his shoulders forward and in
a classic striptease move, lets
his overalls fall down to
his hips, revealing a torn and
frayed plaid shirt. Then,
grabbing both sides of his shirt,
he rips it apart to reveal
his stained T-shirt underneath.
With a final flourish, he
tears the T-shirt from his body,
and hurls his baseball cap
onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes
in and says, "What the
heck are you doing, Billy Bob?"
"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the
bejeezers out of me," says an
obviously embarrassed Billy
Bob. "But me'n the Ol' Lady
been havin trouble lately in
the bedroom d'partment, and
the therapist suggested I do
'something sexy to a tractor'."
[Don't make me come splain this
to you! --- Read the last
line again, slowly-- out loud.]
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| Subj:
Kevin Skinner On America's Got Talent
From: Jessibel Punzalan Gonzales on Facebook on 7/18/2010 (S704b) |
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This video is Kevin Skinner's
audition on America's Got
Talent on June 30th, 2009.
Kevin Sings Garth Brooks'
"If Tomorrow Never Comes".
Click on any source, or
'HERE'
for my copy, to hear this great, country singer.
Source1 has the best sound and picture.
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Subj: Bubba's
21st Birthday (S608c)
From: allenbergman on 8/26/2008
Bubba had long heard the stories
of an amazing family
tradition. It seems that
his father, grandfather and
great-grandfather had all been
able to walk on water on
their 21st birthday. On
that special day, they'd each
walked across the lake to the
bar on the far side for
their first legal drink.
So when Bubba's 21st birthday
came around, he and his
pal Jim Bob took a boat out
to the middle of the lake,
Bubba stepped out of the boat
and nearly drowned! Jim
Bob just barely managed to pull
him to safety. Furious
and confused, Bubba went to
see his grandmother.
'Grandma, he asked, 'it's my
21st birthday, so why can't
I walk 'cross the lake like
my pappy, his father, and
his father before him?
Granny looked deeply into Bubba's
troubled eyes and said,
'Because your father, your grandfather
and your great
grandfather were born in January,
when the lake is frozen,
and you were born in July, you
dumbass'.
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Subj:.....Thank
God I'm A Country Boy (S656b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/29/2009 |
Click 'HERE' to see this silly movie.
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Subj: Jethro
Learns About Sex (S628)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/22/2009
One day, Jethro asked, "Paw,
what is Sex?" Paw says, "Since
you are a big boy I will show
you." Paw hollers, "Maw get
yourself in here!"
Paw then says,"Maw, take your
clothes off and get on the
bed. Now spread your legs.
"Paw says,"Jethro see that thar
little hole? Now watch
this!" In the midst of Paw's
demonstration Little Sally comes
in and exclaims, "What
is going on? "Jethro answers,
"Paw is teaching me about
sex. "Little Sally asks,
"What is Sex? "Jethro replies,
"See that little hole on Paw?
Now watch this!"
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| Subj:
The Slingshot Man (S626)
From: gattica30 on 1/9/2009 |
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Click on the above source, or
'HERE'
for my file version,
to read about this amazing slingshot
shooter.
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Subj: Sears
Catalog Order (S608b)
From: tom on 9/2/2008
Two rednecks were looking at
a Sears catalog and admiring
the models. One says to
the other, 'Have you seen the
beautiful girls in this here
catalog?'
The second one replies, 'Yep,
they are very beautiful,
and look at the price, ooowweee!!
The first one says, with wide
eyes, 'Wow, they aren't
very expensive. At this
price, I'm buying one.'
The second one smiles and pats
him on the back. 'Good idea
Jed'. Order one and if
she's as beautiful as she is in
the catalog, I'll get
one too.'
Three weeks later, the youngest
redneck asks his friend,
'Did you ever receive the girl
you ordered from the Sears
catalog?'
The second redneck replies, 'No,
but she shouldn't be long
now, cuz she mailed me all her
underwear yesterday.
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Subj:.....Redneck
Art (S598c in Art-Supp)
From: ft.apache on 6/27/2008 |
This redneck artist does a beautiful
picture while he is
eating barbacued ribs.
To see this movie, click 'HERE'.
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Subj: Two
Rednecks Win At Wal-Mart (S443, S617c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/18/2005
While Bubba and Billy Bob, two
rednecks from Lenoir,N.C.
were in the local Wal-Mart they
decided to get in on the
weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each
at a dollar a pop. The
following week, when the raffle
was drawn, each had won a
prize.
Billy Bob won 1st place; a years
supply of gourmet
spaghetti sauce and extra long
spaghetti.
Bubba won 6th prize; a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed
when the men met back at
Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy
Bob how he liked his prize, to
which Billy Bob replied, "Great!,
I love spaghetti!"
Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout
you, how's the toilet
brush? "Not so good," replied
Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna
go back to paper."
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| Subj:
White Trash Christmas (S464b in Christmas1)
From: darrell94590 on 12/13/2005 |
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This SWF, cartoon movie is very
cute. You can view it on
the source above, or on my web
site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Uncle
And Nephew Say Prayers Before Bed (S422b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 2/22/2005
The boy's father was a dirt farmer
in a very poor, hard
scrabble,district of the back
hills country. One day his
Uncle Arnie came to visit. Since
there were limited
accommodations, the uncle was
required to sleep in with
the boy, his young nephew.
When Uncle Arnie came into the
bedroom, he saw the little
boy kneeling at the side of
the bed with his head bowed. - -
Admiring the boy's apparent
religious upbringing, he decided
to present a good example and
kneeled at the other side of
the bed with his head bowed
too.
The boy looked up, startled,
and asked his uncle, "Whatcha
doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing boy", replied the Uncle.
"Ma's gonna be awful mad", exclaimed the boy.
"Why will she be mad?" asked a puzzled Uncle Arnie.
The boy responded,
"Because the bed pan's on this side!"
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Subj:
Redneck Bungee-Jumping (S525c in Other-Sports)
From: gordonschuk on 1/28/07 |
This 2,500 KB movie looks like
a lot of scary fun. You can
view it on my web site by clicking
'HERE'.
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Subj: Two
Rednecks Discuss Infidelity (S392b, S646b)
From: Imogenelumen on 8/4/2004
and
From: hellgunner50 on 5/24/2009
(See
'Guys
Discuss Premarital Sex' in Marriage6)
Two good ole boys down in Alabama
were sitting around
talking one afternoon over a
cold beer . . .
After a while the first guy says
to the second, "If'n I
was to sneak over to your trailer
Saturday and make love
to your wife while you was off
huntin', and she got
pregnant and had a baby, would
that make us kin?"
The second guy crooked his head
sideways for a minute,
scratched his head, and squinted
his eyes thinking real
hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I
don't know about kin, but it
sure would make us even."
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| Subj:
Are You A Redneck Quiz (S398, S604b)
From: Quizsarama on Sept. 6,2004 At: www.quizarama.com/areyouaredneck.php |
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Bubba drawing
from Quizarama |
2. What was the number
of Richard Petty's car?
A.
23
B.
37
C.
43
3. Bill Dance is good
at what?
A.
Fishin'
B.
Huntin'
C.
Line Dancin'
4. Where did Herschel
Walker play football (college)?
A.
University of Alabama
B.
University of Georgia
C.
University of Tennessee
5. In cubic inches, how
big is the smallest 1966 GM
small-block
V8?
A.
283
B.
243
C.
267
6. A Cajun is likely to
speak what furrin language?
A.
Italian
B.
Spanish
C.
French
7. What is a chigger?
A.
A Texan Cigar
B.
A Redbug
C.
A Tool
8. What is scrapple?
A.
A Medical Tool
B.
A Sausage-like Loaf
C.
A Musical Instrument
9. Where is "The Redneck
Riviera?"
A.
Jackson, MS
B.
Baton Rouge, LA
C.
Panama City, FL
10. What's that fuzzy stuff
hanging off the oak tree?
A.
Spanish Moss
B.
Leaves
C.
Aligator Hides
11. If you mated a heifer
and a steer, what would you get?
A.
A Cow
B.
A Bull
C.
Nothing. A steer has been castrated.
12. Who sang "Your Cheatin'
Heart?"
A.
Willie Nelson
B.
George Strait
C.
Hank Williams
13. What are grits made
out of?
A.
Corn
B.
Oatmeal
C.
Potatos
14. What is a scuppernong?
A.
A Wild Pig
B.
A Wild Grape
C.
A Wild Goat
15. What color is your
John Deere?
A.
Red
B.
Blue
C.
Green
=======
Answers
=======
1. A. Seven Vienna Sausages
are in a can.
2. C. The number of Richard
Petty's car was 43.
3. A. Bill Dance is good at
Fishin'.
4. B. Herschel Walker play
football for University of Georgia.
5. A. The smallest 1966 GM
small-block V8 is 283 cubic inches.
6. C. A Cajun is likely to
speak French.
7. B. A chigger is a redbug.
8. B. A scrapple is a sausage-like
loaf.
9. C. The 'Redneck Riviera'
is Panama City, FL.
10. A. That fuzzy stuff hanging
off the oak tree is Spanish Moss.
11. C. If you mated a heifer
and a steer, you would get
nothing. A steer has been castrated.
12. C. Hank Williams sang "Your
Cheatin' Heart."
13. A. Grits made out of corn.
14. B. A scuppernong A wild
grape.
15. C. Green is the color of
your John Deere.
=====================
Your 'Redneck' Rating
=====================
If you got 0 to 4 right.
"It turns out a monkey is more
of a redneck
that you are. Feel safe
in the knowledge that
your family tree is probably
very far reaching."
------------------------
If you got 5 to 8 right.
"You did ok but your not a redneck.
You probably
visited the south a few times
but obviously managed
to escape without the words
y'all and fixin' ta
being added perminantly to your
vocabulary."
------------------------
If you got 9 to 11 right.
"You scored well this means
you are one of 3 things.
1) You are exceptionally bright.
2) You used to be a redneck
but have moved out
out of the south
and are in remission.
3) You are a redneck but trying
ot hide it."
------------------------
If you got 12 to 15 right.
"You are a redneck. Be
proud, Stand straight. Stand
tall, but stand over there because
the wind is blowing
the smell of your skoal in my
direction."
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Subj:
Jeff Foxworthy Redneck 12 Days Of Christmas (S672 in Christmas2)
From: gattica30 on 12/17/2009 |
The original song was written
by Rodney Carrington.
Jeff Foxworthy rewrote the song
and improved greatly.
Click on either source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to see
the video from his CD.
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Subj: Three
Nationalities In A Sauna (S317b, S658)
From: christyhenning on 2/27/2003
and
From: ginafm on 8/12/2009
(Also see 'European
Fake Cell Phone Commercial' in Phone-Supp
..........and
'Bill Gates And Farting'
in Famous-Gates
..........and
'Man
with Hand Phone Goes Into A Bar' in BAR2)
Three men, one German, one Japanese
and a Cajun were
sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping
sound. The German pressed
his fore arm and the beep
stopped. The others looked
at him questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said,
"I have a microchip under
the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang.
The Japanese fellow
lifted his palm to his ear.
When he finished he explained,
"That was my mobile phone. I
have a microchip in my hand."
The Cajun felt decidedly low
tech, but not to be outdone
he decided he had to do something
just as impressive. He
stepped out of the sauna and
went to the bathroom. He
returned with a piece of toilet
paper hanging from his
behind. The others raised
their eyebrows and stared at
him. The Cajun finally
said------- "Well, will you look
at that, I'm getting a fax."
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Subj: Short
Redneck Jokes
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Subj:
Close Encounters Of The Redneck Kind (S682)
From: GILBERT.HENDERSON.JR on 2/6/2010 (in Aliens) |
| Subj:
Sex Test For Rednecks (S641c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/21/2009 Source: http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/s042.html |
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Subj:
Redneck Word For Today (S637c)
From: darrellvip on 3/21/2009 |
| Subj:
Texas Ditch Surfing (S575)
From: rfslick on 1/18/2008 (See 'Shark Surfing' in SWIMMING) |
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Subj:
Redneck Fire Alarm (S612b)
From: rfslick on 9/30/2008 |
Top
Subj: Georgia
Safe Cracker (S523b)
From: LABLaughsAdult2
on 1/23/2007
A "Safe Cracker" in New York
is a person who opens a
victim's safe without knowing
the combination;......
in Georgia it's an AIDS-free
white girl on the pill.
| Subj:
Redneck 911 Call (S608 in Phone-Supp)
From: darrellvip on 8/31/2008 |
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Top
Subj: Earl
And Bubba Discuss Wives (S604b)
From: gordonschuk on 7/19/2007
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting
in a boat fishing,
chewing and drinking beer when
suddenly Bubba says,
'I think I'm gonna divorce my
wife she ain't spoke to
me in over 2 months.'
Earl spits, sips his beer and
says, 'Better think it
over, women like that are hard
to find.'
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Subj:
Red State Update (S593 in Political-Supp)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/1/2008 Photo from RedStateUpdate.com |
Top
Subj: Solving
Redneck Murders (S364)
From: Imogenelumen on 1/16/2004
Two reasons why it is nearly
impossible to solve a
redneck murder:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
| Subj:
Redneck Condos (S580c)
From: gayleheckman on 2/29/2008 |
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Top
Subj: Jim-Bob
Wants To Get Married (S345)
From: LABLaughs.com on 8/10/2003
Jim-Bob decided he wanted to
get married and brought up the
subject with his Ma and Pa over
supper.
"Jim-Bob," Ma said, "yous the
baby of the family. You can't
be gettin' married yet."
"But ma," he protested, "I just had me my 40th birthday."
"That's right, Jim-Bob," Pa said,
"but me and Ma thinks you
best be puttin' off gettin'
married till after you finish
high school."
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Subj:
Home Depot Hot Dogs (S579b in Food-Supp)
From: cappucinid on 2/25/2008 |
| Subj:
Redneck Lawnmower Beer Run (S576b)
From: AFine963 on 1/24/2008 |
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Subj:
Steve's Second Lawnmower DUI (S633c)
From: tom on 2/25/2009 |
In 2005 Steve got arrested for
drunk lawnmower driving.
You can watch this video by
clicking on the above story.
| Subj:
Redneck Power Windows (S574)
From: rfslick on 1/15/2008 |
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Subj:
Redneck Siding (S565b)
From: LABLaughs.com on 11/14/2007 |
| Subj: "If
My Nose Was Running Money"(S561b)
From: rfslick on 10/16/2007 (in Mus-Sup) By Aaron Wilburn................Photo
from
YouTube...
|
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Subj:
Redneck Harley (S559c in Harley)
From: momndadac on 10/1/2007 |
| Subj:
Redneck Gingerbread House (S559b)
From: momndadac on 10/1/2007 |
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Subj:
Redneck Theme Park Ride (S544b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/12/2007 |
| Subj:
Redneck Doormats (S745)
From: rfslick on 4/19/2011 |
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Top
Subj: Hillbillies
New Names (S528c)
From: AFine963 on 3/1/2007
Due to the climate of political
correctness now pervading
America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans
and West Virginians will
no longer be referred to as
"HILLBILLIES. You must now
refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICAN.
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Subj:
Redneck Christmas Lights (S522c)
From: drgolfmd on 1/19/2007 |
| Subj:
Redneck Coffee Table (S522c)
From: drgolfmd on 1/19/2007 |
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Subj:
Redneck TimeOut (S522)
From: tnkr on 1/18/2007 |
| Subj:
Redneck Rockwell Christmas (S517b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 12/6/2006 |
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Subj:
Redneck Riverboat (S505)
From: jbcary1 on 9/27/2006 |
| Subj:
Alcohol And Ammo (S503 in Games2)
From: catlynnbray on 9/7/2006 |
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Subj:
Redneck Wedding Cake (S487c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/20/2006 |
| Subj:
Redneck Doorbell (S483b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/20/2006 |
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Subj:
Redneck Hot Tub (S472c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/24/2006 |
| Subj:
Redneck Wedding (S472 in Wedding)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/24/2006 |
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Subj:
Sheep Lovers (S444)
From: darrell94590 on 7/22/2005 |
| Subj:
Redneck Pool (S439b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/21/2005 |
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Subj:
Hillbilly Fishing (S569b in Fishing2)
From: gordonschuk on 12/8/2007 |
Top
Subj: Lousiana
Quarter (S424b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/8/2005
At: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A20050308
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From: LABLaughsAdult on 9/30/2004 (S404b)
Q: What do you call 88 rednecks
in an orgy?
A: A family reunion.
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/10/2005 (S437b)
Q: How can you tell if a Tennessee
redneck is married?
A: There's dried tobacco juice
on both sides of his
pickup truck.
\\\//
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Smiley the Farmer from
Smiliemania.da |