Subj: Elderly2-Supp, old women or old men
          (Includes 40 jokes and articles, 19 1092,19,cL3f,vXT4a6a,19)

Old Man Sits on Bed
is from
on 11/15/2004
Includes the following:

    Jokes about old women
.........................Driving As We Age - Photo (S725)
.........................Two Elderly Ladies Driving In A Car (S838)
.........................For The Love Of Mrs. Brown - Video (S679)
.........................Two Elderly Ladies Talk About Dead Husband (S424b)
.........................Elderly Lady Salsa Dances - Video (S674b)
.........................Little Old Lady Sitting On A Park Bench (S601, S812)
.........................Oldest Showgirl in the World - Videos (S652)
.........................Two Old Ladies And The Suppository (S448)
.........................Make My Day - Video (S552)
.........................Visiting Grandma (S457)
.........................Drawing Of Two Old Ladies (S584b)
.........................Two Old Ladies On A Bus (S474b)
.........................No Sunday Paper (S740)
.........................Two Old Ladies On The Porch (S589c)
.........................Carrying Bucket, Anvil, 2 Chickens, and a Goose (S471b, S794)
.........................Granny And The Air Bag - Video (S583c)
.........................Senior Dating (S558, S865)
.........................Grandpa's Age (S661)
.........................Maxine's Living Will (S588)
.........................Highway Partol Pulls Over Five Ladies (S425)
.........................Helping An Old Lady - Video (S643b)
.........................Suicidal 83 Year Old Woman (S168, S568b)

      Jokes about old men
.........................Wake Up And Live Your Life - Short Film (S866)
.........................Max And Wally Met In The Park (S530)
.........................Multi-Tasking - Cartoon (S477b)
.........................Two Old Men Sitting On A Park Bench (S593)
.........................Mother Goose On Grandfathers (S597)
.........................80 Year Old Plans To Marry (S531b)
.........................An Old Man's Dreams (S585c)
.........................Two Old Guys At Wal-Wart (S499, S649b)
.........................Why We Don't Take Grandpa To Mardi Gras (S482c)
.........................Guessing An Old Man's Age (S468)
.........................Two Old Men Sitting On A Park Bench (S635b)
.........................Mexican In Jewish Nursing Home (S471b)
.........................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S676)
.........................Tweeter, Blackberry Phones, Etc. For People Over 50 (S708b)
.........................Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S729)
.........................Three Old Men With The Shakes
.........................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S824)
.........................Three Old Men Talk About Their Problems (S45)
.........................Father Sent To Nursing Home
.........................Two Old Men And A Hearing Aid  (S222)


Subj:     Driving As We Age (S725)
          From: tom on 12/4/2010
 Source1: www.monsterfishkeepers.com/forums/showthread.php?p=4374565
 Source2: www.blogs.christian.com/blog/view/id/1424/uid/35862

 Driving As We Age  --  A picture worth a 1,000 words!
Subj:     Two Elderly Ladies Driving In A Car (S838)
          From: virv on 2/1/2013

 Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
 could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
 along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was
 red, but they just went on through.

 The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must
 be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red
 light." After a few more minutes, they came to another major
 junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right
 through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure
 that the light had been red but was really concerned that
 she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

 At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and
 they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and
 said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three
 red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

 Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"

Subj:     For The Love Of Mrs. Brown
          From: kgilmour2000
..........in 2010 (S679d in Irish1)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/FdSaWW9vuow

 For The Love of Mrs. Brown is the fourth Irish play in the
 Mrs. Brown Series by Brendan O'Carroll.  The plot centers
 mainly around Agnes Brown finding a date over the internet
 for Valentine's Day.  Elderly Mrs. Brown must deal with the
 modern world's thinking on fallacio, sex, menstrual cycles,
 viagra, implants, orgasms, cucumbers, screaming during sex,
 faking orgasms, body surgery, and dating.

 Click 'HERE' to see a sample of the play.  It is the funniest
 video I have seen in years.

Subj:     Two Elderly Ladies Talk About Dead Husband (S424b)
..........From: DoctorDebt in 2005
 Source: (Removed from craftonreunion.org)

 Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing
 one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's
 health, one asked how the other's husband was doing.

 "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up
 a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down
 dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"

 "Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?"

 "Opened a can of peas instead."

Subj:     Elderly Lady Salsa Dances
          From: darrellvip
..........in 2009 (S674b,d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/q0XMGnM5HIM

 There are several stories going around about who is this
 elderly dancer.  She may be Sarah 'Paddy' Jones, who won
 the "Spain's Got Talent" contest.  She may be an 80 year
 old lady from England.  Or she may be a 92, dancing with
 her great grandson who is 29.

 No matter who she is, her dancing is simply amazing.
 Just watch the beauty of her leg movement and the speed
 of her hands.  Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful dancing.

Subj:     Little Old Lady Sitting On A Park Bench (S601, S812)
          From: tom on 7/18/2008
      and From: ft.apache on 8/3/2012

 A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages,
 a Florida Adult community.  A man walked over and sits down
 on the other end of the bench.  After a few moments, the
 woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'

 He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'

 'So, where were you all these years?'

 'In prison,' he says.

 'Why did they put you in prison?'

 He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

 'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

Subj:     Oldest Showgirl in the World (S652)
          From: darrellvip on 7/6/2009
 Source1: www.bulletin.aarp.org/yourworld/articles

 The first video is an AARP special about Dorothy.
 "The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies holds the Guinness
 record for being the oldest professional chorus line
 in the world, and one of its performers, Dorothy Dale
 Kloss, holds the record-at age 85-for being the oldest
 still-performing showgirl."
Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
 Source2: www.youtube.com/embed/cRI2L6KOIu0

 The second video is Riff Markowitz interviews Dorothy
 Dale Kloss at The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies during
 Season 18.

 Dorothy at age 85 is amazing, and these two different
 videos of her are excellent.  Click on the two above

Subj:     Two Old Ladies And The Suppository (S448)
..........From: auntiegah on 8/20/2005

 (Also see 'Old Man's Hearing Aid Doesn't Work' in BODY-PARTS)

 Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one
 morning.  Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear
 and she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository
 in your left ear?"

 Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?"  She pulled
 it out and stared at it.  Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you
 saw this thing.  Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."

Subj:     Make My Day (S552) 
          From: rfslick
..........in 2007 (d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/25m_HVnNCVE

 This is a cute, old folk's revenge video.  You
 can watch it by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Visiting Grandma (S457)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 10/24/2005

 A grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson,
 who is coming to visit with his wife:

 "You come to the front door of the apartment complex.  I
 am in apartment 14T.  There is a big panel at the door.
 With your elbow push button 14T.

 I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right.

 Get in, and with your elbow hit 14.  When you get out I am on
 the left.  With your elbow, hit my doorbell".

 "Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these
 buttons with my elbow"?

 "You're coming empty handed"?

Subj:     Drawing Of Two Old Ladies (S584b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 3/28/2008
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)

 I like this drawing of two old ladies so I put it on
 my web site.  Click 'HERE' to view the drawing.

Subj:     Two Old Ladies On A Bus (S474b)
          From: Phil at Bridge Center on 2/6/2006

 Two old Ladies on a bus.  One asks the other "Is the man
 behind me good looking?"

 "He's young."

 "I know he is young, but is he good looking?"

Subj:     No Sunday Paper (S740)
          From: hilary.miller05
..........on 3/17/2011
 Source: (Removed from prohealth.com/blog)

 Click 'Here' to read this cute, short joke.

Subj:     Two Old Ladies On The Porch (S589c)
          From: darrellvip on 4/26/2008

 Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

 One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

 The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'

 The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'

 The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'

 After a few moments, the first old lady asks,
 'Who drives you to the beach?'

Subj:     Carrying Bucket, Anvil, 2 Chickens, and a Goose (S471b, S794)
          From: DoctorDebt on 1/24/2006
      and From: rfslick on 2/26/2012

 (Also see 'Farmer Buys Too Much Stuff' in Farmer2)

 A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike
 fixed.  They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said
 he didn't live far and would just walk home.

 On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought
 a bucket and an anvil. He stopped by the feed store and
 picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.  However,
 struggling outside the store he now had a problem: how to
 carry all of his purchases home.  While he is scratching
 his head he was approached by a little old lady who told
 him she was lost.

 She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird

 The biker said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616
 Mockingbird Lane.  I would walk you home but I can't carry
 this lot".

 The old lady suggested, "Why don't you put the anvil in the
 bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under
 each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"

 "Why thank you very much," he said and proceeded to walk
 the old girl home.  On the way he says: "Let's take my
 short cut and go down this alley.  We'll be there in no time."

 The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said,
 "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.  How
 do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me
 up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

 The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I am carrying a bucket,
 an anvil, two chickens, and a goose.  How in the world
 could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?

 The lady replied, "Set the goose down, cover him with the
 bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket and I'll hold
 the chickens."

Subj:     Granny And The Air Bag
          From: hellgunner50
..........in 2008 (S583c,d-On Site,SWF)
 Source www.sonnyradio.com/GrannyAirBag.html

 A lady was video taping her son riding a skate board when
 her attention switched to an old woman trying to cross the
 street.  It is the best direct hit we've have seen in some
 time.  Turn your sound up and you can hear the lady that
 is taping also giggling as she records the event. Priceless.
 You can view the video by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Senior Dating (S558, S865)
          From: darrellvip on 9/25/2007
      and From: tom on 8/6/2013

 Dorothy and Edna, two 'senior' widows, are talking.

 Dorothy:  'That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date.
    I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to
    talk with you about him before I give him my answer.'

 Edna: 'Well, I'll tell you.  He shows up at my apartment
    punctually at 7 PM., dressed like such a gentleman in a
    fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers!
    Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a
    luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
    Then he takes me out for dinner... amarvelous dinner...
    lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks.
    Then we go see a show.  Let me tell you, Dorothy, I
    enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!
    So then we are  coming back to my apartment and he turns
    into an ANIMAL.  Completely crazy, he tears off my
    expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!'

 Dorothy: 'Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I
    shouldn't go out with him?'

 Edna:  'No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress.'

Subj:     Grandpa's Age (S661)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 9/14/2009

 Driving along on a sunny day with her young granddaughter
 by her side, my sister was on top of the world. "Grandma,"
 said the girl, "is Grandpa a lot older than you?"

 "A few years, yes," she said. Then, fishing for a
 compliment, she inquired, "Why do you ask?"

 "Well, his mustache is a lot bigger than yours."

Subj:     Maxine's Living Will (S588 in Hospital1)
          From: ginafm on 4/25/2008

 I've grown tired of most of Maxine's 'Pearls of Wisdom',
 but this one is great.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Highway Partol Pulls Over Five Ladies (S425)
          From: DoctorDebt on 3/13/2005
 Source: (Removed from craftonreunion.org/home)

 One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to
 catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car
 puttering along at 22 MPH.  He thinks to himself, "This
 driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"  So he turns on
 his lights and pulls the driver over.

 Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies
 - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and
 white as ghosts.

 The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't
 understand.  I was doing exactly the speed limit!  I always go
 exactly the speed limit.  What seems to be the problem?"

 "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you
 should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also
 be a danger to other drivers."

 "Slower than the speed limit?  No sir, I was doing the speed
 limit exactly!  Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says
 a bit proudly.

 The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains
 to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

 A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer
 for pointing out her error.

 "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone
 in this car OK?  These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't
 muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with

 "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off
 Route 119."

Subj:     Helping An Old Lady
          From: darrellvip
..........in 2009 (S643b,d-iFrame)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/9__hQ2c8n44

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute, silly video.

Subj:     Suicidal 83 Year Old Woman (S168, S568b)
          From: RFSlick on 98-08-12
      and From: gheckman on 4/19/00

 Mildred was a 83 year-old woman who was particularly despondent
 over the recent death of her husband Earl.  She decided that
 she would just kill herself and join him in death.  Thinking
 that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out
 Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself
 in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

 Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and
 burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as
 to just exactly where the heart would be.

 "On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be two inches
 below your left breast."

 Later that night, Mildred was treated for a gunshot wound to
 her left kneecap.


Subj:     Wake Up And Live Your Life (S866)
          Written and Directed by Kostas Karydas
          From: Wimp.com in 2013 (d-iFrame)
 Source1: www.youtube.com/embed/LH4rgD5ZHWM
 Source2: www.wimp.com/wakeup/

 Two old men sitting on a park bench discuss what they would do
 if they could live their lives over.  Won 2nd prize in Mofilm -
 Short Film - competition.  Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful
 short film.

Subj:     Max And Wally Met In The Park (S530, S1092)
          From: darrell94590 on 3/15/2007
      and From: Andrew Fine on 12/19/2017

 Two very elderly friends, Max and Wally, met in the park
 every day.  One day Wally didn't show up.  After a week
 Max really got worried.  Max couldn't remember where Wally
 lived so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

 A month passed and as Max approached the park and there sat
 Wally!  Max asked, "What happened to you??? "

 "I have been in jail."

 "Jail???," cried Max!! "What for???"

 "Well, You know that blonde waitress at the coffee shop?"
 Then Wally added, "Last month she got mad at me and to get
 even, she charged me with rape.  I was so proud of what
 everyone would think an old guy like me could still do,
 that when I got into court, I pled 'Guilty'.  The judge
 then took a good look at me and gave me 30 days for perjury"

Subj:     Multi-Tasking (S477b)
          From: LABLaughsClean
..........on 3/13/2007
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)

 You can view this cute cartoon on my site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Two Old Men Sitting On A Park Bench (S593)
          From: ginafm on 5/29/2008

 There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking.
 One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"

 Second old man replied, "I think she may be Dead!"

 First old man, "What do you mean you think she is DEAD?"

 Second old man, "Well.... the sex is the same but the
 dishes are starting to pile up."

Subj:     Mother Goose On Grandfathers (S597)
          By Mike Peters on 6/27/2008
..........At: www.grimmy.com/comics.php

 You can view this cute comic strip on the subject of
 grandfathers by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     80 Year Old Plans To Marry (S531b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 3/20/2007

 A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
 "So I hear you're getting married?"


 "Do I know her?"


 "This woman, is she good looking?"

 "Not really."

 "Is she a good cook?"

 "Naw, she can't cook too well."

 "Does she have lots of money?"

 "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."

 "Well, then, is she good at making you feel loved?"

 "I don't know."

 "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"

 "Because she can still drive!"

Subj:     An Old Man's Dreams (S585c)
          From: tom on 4/4/2008
 This is a wonderful photo of an old man.  You
 can see it by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Two Old Guys At Wal-Wart (S499, S649b)
          From: darrell94590 on 8/11/2006
      and From: allenbergman on 6/15/2009

 Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when
 they collide.  The first old guy says to the second guy,
 "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I
 wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

 The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence.
 I'm looking for my wife, too.  I can't find her and I'm
 getting a little desperate."

 The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find
 her.  What does she look like?"

 The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
 with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bust, and is
 wearing short shorts.  What does your wife look like?"

 To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter,
 --- let's look for yours."

Subj: Why We Don't Take Grandpa To Mardi Gras
      From: darrell94590
......in 2006 (S482c in Southern)
 You can view this cute photo by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Guessing An Old Man's Age (S468)
          From: DoctorDebt on 1/9/2006

 (Also see 'Guessing An Old Man's Age II' in BIRTHDAYS)

 Three old ornery and very bored grandmas were sitting on a
 bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked
 by and one of the grandmas says, "Betcha we can guess how
 old you are."

 The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess how old
 I am."

 One of the grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your under-
 shorts and we can tell your exact age."

 He did.  The grandmas stared at him for a while and then they
 all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"

 The old man was stunned. "Amazing! How did you guess that?"
 The grandmas laughed until tears were rolling down their
 cheeks. Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear,
 all three happily yelled in unison.. "You told us yesterday!"

Subj:     Two Old Men Sitting On A Park Bench
          From: gattica30 on 3/7/2009 (S635b)
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute picture and quotation.

Subj:     Mexican In Jewish Nursing Home (S471b)
          From: darrell94590 on 1/31/2006

 A Mexican family was considering putting their grandfather
 in a nursing home.  All the Catholic facilities were
 completely full so they had to put him in a Jewish home.
 After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to
 visit grandpa.

 "How do you like it here?" asks the grandson. "It's
 wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,"
 says grandpa. "We're so happy for you; we were worried
 that this was the wrong place for you.  You know, since
 you are a little different from everyone."

 "Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat
 the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile.
 "There's a musician here -- he's 85 years old. He hasn't
 played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls
 him 'Maestro'!"

 "There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't
 been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him
 'Your Honor'!"

 "And there's a physician here -- 90 years old.  He hasn't
 been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still
 calls him 'Doctor'!"

 "And me......, I haven't had sex for 35 years and they
 still call me 'The Fucking Mexican'.

Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S676)
          By Brian Crane on 12/27/2009
 Source: http://comics.com/pickles/2009-12-27/

 Click 'HERE' to read this cute comic strip about saying
 "What" as an answer.

Subj:     Tweeter, Blackberry Phones, Etc. For People Over 50 (S708b)
          From: darrellvip on 8/9/2010

 I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees,
 all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos,
 pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.  I signed
 up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids,
 their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could
 communicate with me in the modern way.  I figured I could
 handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters
 of space.  That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for
 Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific
 Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my
 cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

 My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of
 everything except the bowel movements of the entire next
 generation.  I am not ready to live like this.  I keep my cell
 phone in the garage in my golf bag.

 The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say
 I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store
 or library.  I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the
 Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive.
 I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble
 talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was
 glaring at me.  Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use
 it, and I got a little loud.

 I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the
 lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run
 into in a long time.  Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically
 say, "Re-calc-ul-ating".  You would think that she could be
 nicer.  It was like she could barely tolerate me.  She would
 let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at
 the next light.  Then when I would make a right turn instead,
 it was not good.  When I get really lost now, I call my wife
 and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is
 starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at
 least she loves me.

 To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use
 the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years,
 but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones
 all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions
 and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the
 phone rings.

 The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess
 me up every time I go to the grocery store.  You would think
 they could settle on something themselves but this sudden
 "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for
 a loop.  I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid
 looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

 Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?"
 I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."  Then
 it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

 I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do
 toot a lot."

Subj:     Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip
          By Wiley Miller on 1/2/2011 (S729)
 At: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2011/01/02

 You can view this cute comic strip on the subject of
 "Life's Great Truth" by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Three Old Men With The Shakes
          From: Bawdy.Net #227 on 98-01-31

 The three old men were sitting around complaining about how
 much their hands shook.  The first geezer said, "My hands
 shake so bad that when I shaved this morning I cut my face!"

 The second old fogey one-upped him.  "My hands shake so bad
 that when I trimmed my garden yesterday I sliced all my

 The third old man laughed and said, "That's nothing. My hands
 shake so bad that when I took a piss yesterday I came three

Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S824)
          By Brian Crane on 10/14/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2012/10/14

 Click 'HERE' to see Pickles Comic Strip discuss remembering
 people's names.

Subj:     Three Old Men Talk About Their Problems (S45)
          From The Bartenders Joke of the day for 08 Dec 97

 Three old men were talking about the best thing that could
 happen to them at that time of life.  The 80 year old said
 "The best thing that could happen to me is to be able to
 have a good pee.  I just stand there and it dribbles and
 hurts, and I have to go over and over again."

 The 85 year old said "The best thing could happen to me is
 if I could have a good bowel movement.  I take every kind
 of laxative I can get my hands on and it is still a problem."

 The 90 year old man said "That's not my problem, every
 morning at 6:00 am sharp I have a good long pee and at
 6:30 sharp I have a great bowel movement.  The best thing
 that could happen to me is if I could wake up before 7:00."

Subj:     Father Sent To Nursing Home
          From: ipkis on 97-06-30

 One day a son says to his father that he has to take him
 to the home for the elderely.  The old man is pretty upset
 about this, but the son tells him that it must be done, as
 he is getting to old for him too take care of.  Before the
 son leaves his dad at the home, he explains that he must
 at least try out the home and if he doesn't like it after
 a couple of days, then he can come back home, but atleast
 give it a chance.

 The father is sitting on the side of his bed when a young
 nurse walks into his room, pulls down his pajamas and gives
 him a blow job.  After she is finished, the father runs to
 the phone and calls his son to tell him, that this is the
 best thing that could have happended in his old age.  The
 son says that he is glad to see that him happy again and
 I hopes that he continues to like it there.

 The next day the old man is walking down the hall and he
 drops his cane, so he bends over to pick it up and a male
 nurse jumps out of a doorway, yanks down the old mans
 pajamas and corn holes the old fellow.  The old man phones
 up his son and tells him what just happended and says he
 must get out of there right away.

 His son tells him that he has to weigh the pros and cons
 about the place.  What about that nurse that gave you the
 blow job?

 The father says, "Look! I'm 94 years old and I only get a
 hard on twice a year, but I drop my cane ten times a day.
 Get me the fuck out of here!"

Subj:     Two Old Men And A Hearing Aid (S222)
          From: BEN'S JOKE PAGE
      and From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 5/2/2001

 There were these two old men sitting on the pourch rocking
 one day. One looks over to the other and begins to explain,
 brag, and detail this new hearing aid he has just purchased.
 He told of the great technology that it took to build this
 great hearing aid. He told that NASA has enquired about the
 tech it took to build this great little machine.

 He boasted of the great design and of how it was so very
 un-noticeable.  Well he went on for what seemed the longest
 when finaly the other old man stopped him and said," Well,
 what kind is it?".

 The gentleman with the new aid replied looking toward his
 watch,"Oh, it's about 3:00 ".

                           -(o o)-
............................From Smiley_Central.