Subj:     Elderly3 Supplement
..........(Includes 30 jokes, 05 1121,21,cf,vYT2,16)
..........L5 Update

          Click "Here" for Elderly3-Supp2

Man Feeeding Pigeons
Includes the following:  Pickles Comic Strip II (S885 in Supp2)
.........................Troubling New E-Mail Virus (S823 in Supp2)
.........................Senior Moments By Golf Brooks - Video (S802 in Supp2)
.........................Thoughts On Aging (S172 in Supp2)
.........................Deporting Seniors - Newspaper Article (S1121 in Supp2)
.........................On Aging (S150 in Supp2)
.........................Age Is A Funny Thing (S259b in Supp2)
.........................IronWorkz, A Rock Band - Video (S684)
.........................Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder - Video (S785)
.........................How To Live To Be 100 And Over - Video (S678)
.........................Question-Answers About Retirement - Web Page w/3 GIFs (S525b)
.........................Battle Hymn of the Baby Boomers - Video (S651)
.........................Drill Team For Retired Guys - Video (S636)
.........................Letter From Grandma (S419)
.........................Retirees: Question And Answer (S467)
.........................Aunty Acid Coffee Cup - Photo (S989)
.........................Quotes About Kids And Grandparents - Web Page w/8 Drawings (S505b)
.........................Life As We Once Knew It - Poem (S371b)
.........................What Is A Grandparent - Web Page w/5 Drawings (S575b)
.........................The Over 40 Test (S390b, S584c)
.........................Too Soon Old - Poem - Web Page w/Drawing (S634)
.........................You're Not Old UNLESS You Can Remember... (S108)
.........................The Wheels Of Time - Web Page w/Drawing (S474b)
.........................Growing Old (S363)
.........................On Old Age - Story w/Photo (S403)
.........................We Survived Being Kids (S303)
.........................Colored Pills - Web Page w/Poem and Photo (S542c)
.........................The Sinister Plot (S300b)
.........................Nursing Home Orgy - Web Page w/Newspaper Article (S584c)
.........................Lovemaking Tips For Older Persons (S299, S866)
.........................Important Message About Getting Older - Web Page w/GIF (S585b)
.........................Are You Lonesome Tonight - Song (S297)
.........................The ABC's of Aging... - Web Page w/Drawing (S602c)
.........................Old Geezers (S290, DU)
.........................Opus On Getting Old - Web Page w/Sunday Comic Strip (S605c)
.........................How Old Is Grandpa? (S275b, S491b)
.........................Two Generations Argue - Web Page w/Photo-Story (S648b)
.........................3 Pickles Comic Strips - Web Page (S685)
.........................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip - Web Page (S712)
.........................Kopf Cartoon - Web Page w/Old Cartoon (S789)
.........................Short Elderly Jokes
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S871 in Supp2)
..............................Doorstop (S796 in Supp2)

ELDERLY1 contains 'old couples' jokes
ELDERLY2 contains jokes about old women or about old men
ELDERLY3 contains oddities about growing old
Elderly4 contains other long and short jokes

Subj:     IronWorkz, A Rock Band (S684d-iFrame)
          From: tom in 2010 (in Headlines/Ads-Supp)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/Ca3FTVWyDUw
.......Click 'HERE' to see this commercial for red meat
.......with iron is very cute. Good advice for old folks.
Subj:     Age-Activated Attention
.............Deficit Disorder (d-iFrame)
          From: virv in 2012 (S785)
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/6oHBG3ABUJU

 (Also see "Being Diagnosed With AAADD" in Elderly3)

 This is a sketch about one of the hazards of getting older.
 It was director: Steve Pemberton in 2004.

 Click 'HERE' to see this all too real, funny skit.

Subj:     How To Live To Be 100 And Over
          in 2010 (in Time-Supp)
          (S678d-On Site,SWF)
 Source1: www.wimp.com/howlive/
 Source2: www.ted.com/talks/dan_buettner_how_to_live_to_be_100.html

 In this twenty-two minute video, National Geographic
 writer and explorer Dan Buettner studies the world's
 longest-lived peoples, distilling their secrets into
 a single plan for health and long life.  Click 'HERE'
 to learn how to live to the age of 100.

Subj:     Retirees: Question And Answer (S467)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2005

 Question:  When is a retiree's bedtime?
 Answer:    Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

 Question:  How many retirees to change a light bulb?
 Answer:    Only one, but it might take all day.

 Question:  What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
 Answer:    There is not enough time to get everything done.

 Question:  Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
 Answer:    The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

 Question:  Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
 Answer:    Tied shoes.

 Question:  Why do retirees count pennies?
 Answers:   They are the only ones who have the time.

 Question:  What is the common term for someone who enjoys
            work and refuses to retire?
 Answer:    NUTS!

 Question:  Why are retirees so slow to clean out the
            basement, attic or garage?
 Answer:    They know that as soon as they do, one of
            their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

 Question:  What do retirees call a long lunch?
 Answer:    Normal.

 Question:  What is the best way to describe retirement?
 Answers:   The never ending Coffee Break.

 Question:  What's the biggest advantage of going back
            to school as a retiree?
 Answer:    If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

 Question:  Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss
            work, but misses the people he used to work with?
 Answer:    He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

From: Carfal on 5/8/2007
 Question:  How many days in a week?
 Answer:    6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Subj:     Battle Hymn of the Baby Boomers
          Lyric by Bill Dyszel 
          in 2009 (S651d-iFrame)
Photo from Google.com
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/m0Xuj2sCh90

 Barack Obama's inauguration makes 70 million baby boomers
 older than their President for the first time.  Click on
 'HERE' to see this all too real, but funny video.

Subj:     Drill Team For Retired Guys (S636)
          From: ft.apache in 2009 (d-iFrame)
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source: www.youtube.com/embed/LSI9YYGUW90

 This is very lame yet very funny for the lazy and
 old.  The video is from Steve Harvey's Big Time
 Challenge TV Show on TV.com.  Click 'HERE' to see
 this video.

Subj:     Question-Answers About Retirement
          From: darrell94590
..........in 2007 (S525b)

 This web page has cute jokes, funny pictures, and wonderful
 background music.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Letter From Grandma (S419)
          From: LABLaughsClean in 2005

 Dear Grandson,
 I have become a little older since I saw you last, and a few
 changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have
 become a frivolous old gal.  I am seeing five gentlemen
 everyday. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out
 of bed.

 Then I go to see John.

 Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes
 a lot of my time and attention.

 When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of
 the day. He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so
 he takes me from joint to joint.

 After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to
 bed with Ben Gay.

 What a life. Oh yes, I'm also flirting with Al Zymer.

Subj:     Aunty Acid Coffee Cup (S989)
          From: Carfal in 2016
 Source: (Removed from suescornerweb.com)
Subj:     Quotes About Grandkids And
.............Grandparents w/Music
..........From: gordonschuk in 2007 (S505b, S571c)

 Click 'HERE' to read these wonderful quotes, see the
 pictures, and hear the music.

Subj:     Life As We Once Knew It (S371b)
          From: Grampsboyd in 2004

 This is long but well worth the time!

   Life as We Once Knew It
        (in the 50's and 60's)

   A little house with three bedrooms
   and one car on the street,
   A mower that you had to push
   to make the grass look neat.

   In the kitchen on the wall
   we only had one phone,
   And no need for recording things,
   someone was always home.

   We only had a living room
   where we would congregate,
   Unless it was at mealtime
   in the kitchen where we ate.

   We had no need for family rooms
   or extra rooms to dine,
   When meeting as a family
   those two rooms would work out fine.

   We only had one TV set,
   and channels -- maybe two,
   But always there was one of them
   with something worth the view.

   For snacks we had potato chips
   that tasted like a chip,
   And if you wanted flavor
   there was Lipton's onion dip.

   Store-bought snacks were rare
   because my mother liked to cook,
   And nothing can compare
   to snacks in Betty Crocker's book.

   The snacks were even healthy
   with the best ingredients,
   No labels with a hundred things
   that make not a bit of sense.

   Weekends were for family trips
   or staying home to play,
   We all did things together --
   even go to church to pray.

   When we did our weekend trips
   depending on the weather,
   No one stayed at home because
   we liked to be together.

   Sometimes we would separate
   to do things on our own,
   But we knew where the others were
   without our own cell phone.

   Then there were the movies
   with your favorite movie star,
   And nothing can compare to
   watching movies in your car.

   Then there were the picnics
   at the peak of summer season,
   Pack a lunch and find some trees
   and never need a reason.

   Get a baseball game together
   with all the friends you know,
   Have real action playing ball --
   and no game video.

   Remember when the doctor used
   to be the family friend,
   And didn't need insurance
   or a lawyer to defend?

   The way that he took care of you
   or what he had to do,
   Because he took an oath
   and strived to do the best for you.

   Remember going to the store
   and shopping casually,
   And when you went to pay for it
   you used your own money?

   Nothing that you had to swipe
   or punch in some amount,
   Remember when the cashier person
   had to really count?

   Remember when we breathed the air;
   it smelled so fresh and clean,
   And chemicals were not used
   on the grass to keep it green.

   The milkman and the bread man
   used to go from door to door,
   And it was just a few cents more
   than going to the store.

   There was a time when mailed letters
   came right to your door,
   Without a lot of junk mail ads
   sent out by every store.

   The mailman knew each house by name
   and knew where it was sent;
   There were not loads of mail
   addressed to "present occupant."

   They didn't look like turtles
   trying to squeeze out every mile;
   They were streamlined with white walls ? fins,
   and really had some style.

   One time the music that you played
   whenever you would jive,
   Was from a vinyl, big-holed record
   called a forty-five.

   The record player had a post
   to keep them all in line,
   And then the records would drop down
   and play one at a time.

   Oh sure, we had our problems then,
   just like we do today,
   And always we were striving,
   trying for a better way.

   And every year that passed us by
   brought new and greater things,
   We now can even program phones
   with music or with rings.

   Oh, the simple life we lived
   still seems like so much fun,
   How can you explain a game,
   just kick the can and run?

   And why would boys put baseball cards
   between bicycle spokes,
   And for a nickel red machines
   had little bottled Cokes?

   This life seemed so much easier
   and slower in some ways,
   I love the new technology
   but I sure miss those days.

   So time moves on and so do we,
   and nothing stays the same,
   But I sure love to reminisce
   and walk down memory lane.

   Author unknown

Subj:     What Is A Grandparent
          From: rfslick
..........in 2008 (S575b)
 These quotes are taken from papers written by a class of
 8-year-olds.  You can read these cute thoughts by clicking

Subj:     The Over 40 Test (S390b, S584c)
          From: Imogenelumen in 2004

 Here's a little test for anyone over 40 - Have Fun!

  1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into
     the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was
     that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I
     don't know, but he left this behind." "What did he leave
     behind?  ___________________________

  2. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964,
     we all watched them on the _________________show.

  3. Get your kicks _______________.

  4. The story you are about to see is true.  The names have
     been changed__________________.  What show was it on?

  5. In the jungle, the mighty jungle,_______________

  6. After the twist, the mashed potatoes, and the watusi,
     we "danced" under a stick that was lowered  as low as
     we could go in a dance called the ______________

  7. Nestle's makes the very best ______________

  8. Satchmo was America's "ambassador of goodwill".  Our
     parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us.
     His name was  _________________

  9. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking?_________

 10. Red Skelton's hobo character was______________
     and  he  always ended his television show by saying,
     "Good night, and_________________"

 11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam war did so by
     burning their________________________.

 12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the
     trunk in the front, was called the VW.  What other
     names did it go by?______________?_____________

 13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about,"the day
     the music died." This was a tribute to______________

 14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit.
     The Russians did  it; it was called ________________.

 15. One of the big fads of the late fifties and sixties
     was a large plastic ring  that we  twirled around our
     waist; it was called the___________________
 Scroll down
  1. a silver bullet
  2. Ed Sullivan show
  3. Route 66
  4. to protect the innocent... Dragnet
  5. The Lion sleeps tonight
  6. The limbo
  7. chocolate
  8.  Louis Armstrong
  9. The Timex watch
 10. Freddy the freeloader,, and "Good night, and may God Bless"
 11. draft cards
 12. Beetle or Bug
 13. Buddy Holly
 14. sputnik
 15. hoola-hoop

Subj:     Too Soon Old - Poem (S634)
          by Dave Griffith
          From: darrellvip in 2009
.Drawing from The Permanente Journal
 Source: www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/c/crabby-old-man.htm

 This poem, titled Too Soon Old, was written by Dave Griffith
 of Fort Worth, Texas.  Griffith wrote the poem more than 20
 years ago and meant it to be simple, and too the point.
 It is his life from youth through old age including high
 school football, Marines, marriage, the ravages of his own

 Someone took the poem from his site, created a false story
 titles Crabby Old Man, and started it circulating on the
 Internet.  There is even a slide show and video based on
 the false story.

 This poem is exquisite and touching.  Click 'HERE' to read
 this poem.

Subj:     You're Not Old UNLESS You Can Remember ..... (S108)
          From: RFSlick in 1999

 Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
 When Kool-Aid was the only drink for kids, other than milk
    and sodas.
 When there were two types of sneakers for boys.
 When boys couldn't wear anything but leather shoes to school.
 When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
 When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
 When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
 When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
 When a dime was a decent allowance,
    and a quarter a huge bonus.
 When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
 When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school,
    if then.
 When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
 When all your male teachers wore a neckties and
    the female teachers had their hair done, everyday.
 When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked,
    and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time.
    And you got trading stamps to boot!
 When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes
    or towels hidden inside the box.
 When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or
    use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the
    kid, thought a thing of it.
 When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out
    to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
 When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they
    failed...and did!
 When being sent to the principal's office was nothing
    compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student
    at home.

Subj:     The Wheels Of Time (S474b)
          From: darrell94590
..........in 2006 (in Thou-Time)

 To view this cute cartoon, click 'HERE'.

Subj:     Growing Old (S363)
          From: DoctorDebt in 2004

 I used to have Saturday Night Fever...now I just have Saturday
 Night hot flashes.  Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-
 old... as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

 My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.  Also, my memory's
 not as sharp as it used to be.

 Know how to prevent sagging?  Just eat till the wrinkles fill

 I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

 I'm getting into swing dancing. Although, not on purpose.
 Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

 It's scary when you start making the same noises as your

 I think I've reached my sexpiration date.

 People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life!
 Provided we get cable or that dish thing.

 The good news is that even as we get older, guys still look at
 our boobs.  The bad news is they have to squat down first.

 These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For
 fast relief."

 I've tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age.
 But they haven't made one called "Buns of Putty."

 Don't think of it as getting hot flashes.  Think of it as your
 inner child playing with matches.

 Don't let aging get you down.....it's too hard to get back up.

 Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old......
 you grow old because you stop laughing.

 There!  Now don't you feel better about getting older??????

Subj:     On Old Age (S403)
          From: LABLaughsAdult in 2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)

 A passer-by noticed an old lady sitting on her front step:
 "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look!  What is your
 secret for such a long, happy life?"
 "I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day", she said.  "Before I go
 to bed, I smoke a nice big joint.  Apart from that, I drink a
 whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.
 On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all."

 "This is absolutely amazing at your age!!!!", says the passer-by.
 "How old are you?"

 "Twenty four"

Subj:     We Survived Being Kids (S303)
          From: KMACINTY in 2002

 Looking back, it's hard to believe that we have lived as
 long as we have ...

 As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or
 air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm
 day was always a special treat.

 Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based
 paint, and no padded crib protectors to keep us from
 sticking our heads through the slats.  We could sleep on
 our backs, our sides, or our stomachs.  We had no childproof
 lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we
 rode our bikes, we had no helmets.  (Not to mention hitch-
 hiking as a young kid!)

 We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
 Horrors!  We would leave home in the morning and play all
 day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
 No one was able to reach us all day.  No cell phones.  No
 pagers.  Unthinkable!!

 We played dodge ball and sometimes the ball would really
 hurt.  We got cut and broke bones and broke teeth and there
 were no law suits from these accidents.  They were accidents.
 No one was to blame but us.  Remember accidents?

 We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue
 and learned to get over it.  And sometimes make up and become
 best friends.  We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank
 sugar soda but we were never overweight .... We were always
 outside playing.  We shared one grape soda with four friends,
 from one bottle and no one died from this?

 We didn't have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X Boxes, video
 games, 699 channels on cable, video tape and DVD movies,
 surround sound, personal cellular phones, personal computers
 or Internet chat rooms ... we had real live friends.  We
 went outside and found them.  We rode bikes or walked to a
 friend's home and knocked on the door, or rung the bell or
 just walked in and talked to them.  Imagine such a thing.
 Without asking a parent!  By ourselves!  Out there in the
 cold cruel world!  Without a guardian.  How did we do it?

 We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms
 and although we were told it would happen, we didn't put
 out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.
 Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
 Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

 Some students weren't as smart as others so they failed a
 grade and were held back to repeat the same grade ...
 Horrors!  Tests were not adjusted for any reason.  Bad
 behavior at home, at school, or in public was rewarded with
 corporal punishment, such as a smack or a paddling.  We
 walked to school or at the very least to the bus stop with-
 out our parents taking us because it rained or snowed.

 We had people who didn't like us because of our religion,
 color, ethnic origin, where we lived, who we hung out with,
 and so forth.  We survived.  Our actions were our own.

 This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers
 and problem solvers and inventors, ever.  The past 50 years
 has been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.  We had
 freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned
 how to deal with it all.  Family and friends were the most
 important things in our lives.  And you're one of them.

 Congratulations!  Please pass this on to others that have
 had the luck to grow up as kids.

Subj:     Colored Pills - Poem (S542c)
          From: gordonschuk in 2007
Photo from iStockphoto

 You can read this cute poem by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     The Sinister Plot (S300b)
          From: Cypriot in 2002


 Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, everything
 seems uphill from where you are?  Stairs are steeper,
 groceries are heavier, and everything is farther away.
 Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was horrified to
 discover how long our street had become!  I never noticed
 when I was younger that it's been changing!

 And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially
 the young ones.  They speak in whispers all the time!  If
 you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves,
 endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red
 in the face!  What do they think I am, a lip reader?

 I also have a feeling that these people are much younger
 than I was at the same age.  On the other hand, something
 has been making people who used to be my own age so much
 older than I am.

 I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so
 much that she didn't even recognize me.  I got to thinking
 about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning,
 and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection ... and I
 noticed that even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

 Clothing manufacturers are part of the conspiracy too!  Why
 else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress
 as 18 or 20?  Do they think no one notices that these things
 no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?

 Another thing, everyone drives so fast today!  You're risking
 life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in
 front of them.  All I can say is, their brakes must wear out
 awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear
 view mirror.

 The people who make bathroom scales are in on it as well.  Do
 they think I actually believe the number I see on that dial?
 Hah!  I would never let myself weigh that much!  Just who do
 these people think they're fooling?

 I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's
 going on - but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy
 too:  They've printed the phone books in such small type that
 no one could ever find a number in here!

 All I can do is pass along this warning:  Maturity is under
 attack!  Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon *every-
 one* will have to suffer these awful indignities.

 P.S.:  I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because
 something has caused fonts to be smaller than they once were,

Subj:     Nursing Home Orgy
          in 2008 (S584c)
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)

 A group of nine love-hungry codgers were kicked out of an old
 folks home in London for having an orgy.  You can read the
 newspaper article by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Lovemaking Tips For Older Persons (S299, S866)
          From: auntiegah in 2002

 Put bi-focals on ...  double check that you're
    with the right partner
 Set alarm on your clock for 2 minutes... in case
    you doze off in the middle
 Set the mood with lighting ... turn em ALL OFF !
 Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin
 Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't
    remember what to scream out at the end
 Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't
    end up under the bed
 Have heating pads, tylenol, splints and crutches
    ready in case you actually complete the act.
 Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
 If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
 Don't even think about trying it twice.

Subj:   Important Message About Getting Older
        From: ginafm in 2008 (S585b)

 You can read this important message by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Are You Lonesome Tonight - Song (S297)
          From: coreymac in 2002

       "Are You Lonesome Tonight?"
    Elvis Presley's Senior Citizen Song

 Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?
 Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?
 Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day..
 When you had all your teeth and your gums?
 Is your hairline receding, are your eyes growing dim?
 Hysterectomy for her, and its prostate for him.
 Does your back give you pain...do your knees predict rain?
 Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight

 Is your blood pressure up, your cholesterol down?
 Are you eating your low-fat cuisine?
 All that oat bran and fruit,
 Metamucil to boot, keeps you like a well-oiled machine.
 If it's football, or baseball...he sure knows the score.
 Yes, he knows where it's at...but forgets what it's for.
 So, your gallbladder's gone, and his gout lingers on.
 Tell me dear, are lonesome tonight

 When you're hungry, he's not.
 When you're cold, then he's hot.
 Then you start that old thermostat war.
 When you turn out the light, he goes left, you go right.
 Then you get his symphonic snore.
 He was once so romantic, and witty and smart.
 How'd he turn out to be such a cranky old fart?
 So don't take any bets, this is as good as it gets.
 Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight.

Subj:     The ABC's of Aging...
..........From: darrellvip
..........in 2008 (S602c)

 You can view this cute list of twenty-six elderly
 ailments by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Old Geezers (S290, DU)
          From: Grampsboyd in 2002

 "Geezers" are easy to spot:

 At sporting events, during the playing of the National
 Anthem, Old Geezers hold their caps over their hearts
 and sing without embarrassment.  They know the words and
 believe in them.

 Old Geezers remember World War I, the Depression, World
 War II, Pearl Harbor,Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler.
 They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War,
 the Jet Age, the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam.

 If you bump into an Old Geezer on the sidewalk, he will
 apologize.  If you pass an Old Geezer on the street, he
 will nod or tip his cap to a lady.  Old Geezers trust
 strangers and are courtly to women.  Old Geezers hold the
 door for the next person and always, when walking, make
 certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

 Old Geezers get embarrassed if someone curses in front of
 women and children and they don't like any filth on TV or
 in movies.  Old Geezers have moral courage.  They seldom
 brag unless it's about their grandchildren.

 It's the Old Geezers who know our great country is
 protected, not by politicians or police, but by the young
 men and women in the military serving their country.

 This country needs Old Geezers with their decent values.
 We need them now more than ever.  Thank God for Old Geezers!

Subj:     Opus On Getting Old (S605c)
          By Berkeley Breathed on Nov. 11, 2007
 Source: http://www.salon.com/2007/11/11/opus_20/

 This Opus comic strip discusses getting old.  You can view
 this wonderful comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.

 You can view other great Opus Comic Strips by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     How Old Is Grandpa? (S275b, S491b)
          From: RFSlick in 2001

 One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about
 current events.  He asked what he thought about the shootings
 at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.

 The granddad replied, "Well, let me think a minute... I was
 born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen
 foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the pill.

 There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or ball-point
 pens.  Man had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners,
 dishwashers, clothes dryers, well the clothes were hung out
 to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

 Your grandmother and I got married first, and then lived
 together.  Every family had a father and a mother, and every
 boy over 14 had a rifle that his dad taught him how to use
 and respect.  And they went hunting and fishing together.
 Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir'-and
 after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man
 with a title, 'Sir.'

 Sundays were set aside for going to church as a family,
 helping those in need, and visiting with family or neighbors.

 We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers,
 daycare centers, and group therapy.  Our lives were governed
 by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense.
 We were taught to know the difference between right and
 wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

 Serving your country was a privilege; living here was a
 bigger privilege.

 We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.

 Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with
 your cousins.

 Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors
 when the evening breeze started.

 Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the
 evenings and weekends not purchasing condominiums.

 We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
 typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings.  We
 listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the
 President's speeches on our radios.  And I don't ever
 remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to
 Tommy Dorsey.

 If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was

 The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your
 school exam.

 Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard
 of.  We had 5 and 10-cent stores where you could actually
 buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

 Ice cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and
 a Pepsi were all a nickel.  And if you didn't want to
 splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps
 to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

 You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could
 afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11cents a gallon.

 In my day, 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was a cold drink,
 'pot' was something your mother cooked in, and 'rock
 music' was your grandmother's lullaby.

 'Aids' were helpers in the Principal's office, 'chip'
 meant a piece of wood, 'hardware' was found in a hard-
 ware store, and 'software' wasn't even a word.

 And we were the last generation to actually believe that
 a lady needed a husband to have a baby.

 No wonder people call us "old and confused" and say there
 is a generation gap and how old do you think I am - ????

 .. Grandpa is only 59 years old.

Subj:     Two Generations Argue
          From: gattica30
..........in 2009 (S648b)

 (Also see 'Two Different Generations Argue At Football Game' in Football)

 Click 'HERE' to see is interesting picture.

Subj:     Pickles Comic Strips (S685)
          By Brian Crane in 2010
 Source: www.gocomics.com/pickles/2010/03/01

 This set of three comic strips discuss the different types
 of naps.  Click 'HERE' to see these cute strips.

Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strips II
          By Brian Crane
..........in 2010 (S712)
 Source: www.gocomics.com/pickles/2010/09/05

 This cute comic strip discusses being old and in the way.
 Click 'HERE' to another wonderful Pickles strips.

Subj:     Kopf Cartoon (S789)
          Published in FunnyTimes in March 2012
          From: virv in 2012

 If Rene Descartes, the French philosopher who coined
 the sentence "I think, therefore I am" were to rewrite
 this as an elderly person, this cartoon by Kopf would
 probably be the result.  Click 'HERE' to see this all
 to real cartoon.

                           -(o o)-
...............................From Smiley_Central.