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Subj:    Elderly4-Supp, long and short jokes
               (Includes 25 jokes and articles, 21979,19,cf,vXT2,9)

Elderly Walking  from
Josephs Free Stuff
Includes the following:  Have We Been Burgled? - Cartoon (S979)
.........................A Group Of Elderly Tour Holland (S552, S752)
.........................The Zimmers "My Generation" - Video (S581, S800)
.........................Stroll Down Memory Lane - Video (S601c)
.........................Elderly Couple Meets On The Beach (S636)
.........................The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S663b)
.........................Back To The Sixties (S601b)
.........................Have You Seen This Lady At Your House?
.........................Short Elderly Jokes
..............................Happy Hour (S776)
..............................Jerry Holbert Cartoon (S773)
..............................Sex At 83! (S717)
..............................Pickles Comic Strip (S701b)
..............................When I Was A Kid (S744)
..............................Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S630b)
..............................Newly Retired Man Gets Up Late (S686)
..............................Momma Comics On Elderly Dating (S598b)
..............................Word Of The Day: Exhaustipated - Button (S800)
..............................In My Eyes (S555c)
..............................Now That I'm Older - Sign (S546b)
..............................Florida Squirrel (S543b)
..............................Inside Every Old Person - Sign (S541c)
..............................Frank And Ernest On Retirement (S539)
..............................Senior's T-Shirt (S530b, S752)
..............................Two Elderly Gents Talk (S528b)
..............................My Life In A Pie Chart (S501c)

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Subj:     Have We Been Burgled? - Cartoon (S979)
          By  Silvey Hugh and Jex Wally
          From: Lloyd Stiewig on Facebook 10/20/2015
 Source: http://www.comedycard.co.uk/products/funny-
.........greetings-card-wrinklies-have-we-been-burgled
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Subj:     A Group Of Elderly Tour Holland (S552, S752)
          From: ginafm on 8/19/2007
      and From: allenbergman on 6/10/2011

 A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through
 Holland.  As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide
 led them through the process of cheese making, explaining
 that goat's milk was used.  She showed the group  a lively
 hillside where many goats were grazing.

 "These" she explained "are the older goats put out to pasture
 when they no longer produce."   She then asked, "What do you
 do in America with your old goats?"

 A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!!

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Subj:     The Zimmers "My Generation" (S581d, S800)
          From: rfslick on 3/8/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/zqfFrCUrEbY

 Senior Citizens Rocking Out!  This is really cool!  Turn up
 your speakers and enjoy!  You can see it by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Stroll Down Memory Lane (S601c,d)
          From: tom on 7/18/2008 (in Tho-Time-Supp)

 This 6,200 KB movie is a series of still pictures from the
 50s shown with Dean Martin singing the song "Memories" in
 the background.  Click 'HERE' to view and listen.

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Subj:     Elderly Couple Meets On The Beach (S636)
          From: Anonymous Jr. on 3/14/2009
 Source: (Removed from dodgeboard.com)

 A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach
 towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida.  She looked up and noticed
 that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on
 the sand nearby and began reading a book.

 Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
 "Hello, sir, how are you?"

 "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

 "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

 "First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied,
 and again turned back to his book.

 "Do you live around here?" she asked.

 "Yes, I live over in Suntree," he answered, and then resumed
 reading.

 Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted.
 "Do you like pussycats?"

 With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his
 blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave
 her the most passionate ride of her life!

 As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and
 asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

 The man replied, "How did you know my name is Katz?"

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Subj:     The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S663b)
          by Glenn and Gary McCoy on 9/23/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/theflyingmccoys/2009/09/23
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Subj:     Back To The Sixties (S601b,d)
          From: tom on 7/19/2008 (in Tho-Time-Supp)
 Source: (Removed from moreoldfortyfives.com)

 This video shows 1960s History and the music featuring Elvis
 Presley, The Beatles, Chubby Checker, American Bandstand, Wal
 Mart, K Mart, Woodstock, Surfing, Woodie, Surfboard, John F.
 Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Robert Kennedy, man on the moon,
 and the Apollo moon landing.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Have You Seen This Lady At Your House?
          From: auntiegah on 3/5/2003

 This lady was at my house!  Have you seen her?????
 Even though this lady is residing in MY house, she may
 at some time appear in yours.  Be alert!

 A very weird thing has happened. A strange old lady has
 moved into my house.  I have no idea who she is, where
 she came from, or how she got in.  I certainly did not
 invite her.  All I know is that one day she wasn't there,
 and the next day she was!

 She is a clever old lady and manages to keep out of sight
 for the most part, but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a
 glimpse of her.  And,whenever I look in the mirror to
 check my appearance, there she is hogging the whole thing,
 completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body.  This
 is very rude!  I have tried screaming at her, but she just
 screams back.

 The least she could do is offer to pay part of the rent,
 but no.  Every once in a while, I find a dollar bill stuck
 in a coat pocket, or some loose change under a sofa cushion,
 but it is not nearly enough.  I don't want to jump to
 conclusions, but I think she is stealing money from me.  I
 go to the ATM and withdraw $100, and a few days later, it's
 all gone!  I certainly don't spend money THAT fast, so I
 can only conclude the old lady is pilfering from me.  You'd
 think she would spend some of that money to buy wrinkle
 cream.  And money isn't the only thing I think she is
 stealing.  Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate--
 especially the good stuff like ice cream, cookies, and
 candy, especially chocolate. She must have a real sweet
 tooth, but she'd better watch it, because she is really
 packing on the pounds.  I suspect she realizes this, and
 to make herself feel better, she is tampering with my
 scale to make me think I am putting on weight, too.

 For an old lady, she is quite childish. She likes to play
 nasty games, like going into my closets when I'm not home
 and altering my clothes so they don't fit.  And she messes
 with my files and papers so I can't find anything.  This
 is particularly annoying since I am extremely neat and
 organized.

 She has found other imaginative ways to annoy me.  She
 gets into my mail, newspapers, and magazines before I do
 and blurs the print so I can't read.  And she has done
 something really sinister to the volume controls on my
 TV, radio, and telephone.  Now, all I hear are mumbles
 and whispers.

 She has done other things--like make my stairs steeper,
 my vacuum heavier and all the knob and faucets harder to
 turn.  She even made my bed higher so that getting into
 and out of it is a real challenge.  Lately, she has been
 fooling with my groceries before I put them away, applying
 glue to the lids, making it almost impossible for me to
 open the jars.

 She has taken the fun out of shopping for clothes.  When
 I try something on, she stands in front of the dressing
 room mirror and monopolizes it.  She looks totally
 ridiculous in some of those outfits, plus, she keeps me
 from seeing how great they look on me.

 Just when I thought she couldn't get any meaner, she proved
 me wrong.  She came along when I went to get my picture
 taken for my driver's license, and just as the camera shutte
 clicked, she jumped in front of me!

 I hope she never finds out where YOU live!


Subj:     Short Elderly Jokes

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Subj:     Happy Hour (S776)
          From: Lu Ann Smith Braggs
 Source1: Facebook on 11/26/2011
 Source2: Vi.Sualize.Us
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Subj:     Jerry Holbert Cartoon (S773)
          From: Catherine Coxon (on Facebook)
 Source: PhotoBucket.com
 Jerry Holbert of the Boston Herald is a very funny cartoonist.
 Click 'HERE' to see his 2008 cartoon about a 'Senior Moment',
 which is very cute.

 Or go to http://www.gocomics.com/jerryholbert
    or to Google images for Jerry Holbert cartoons
 to see more of his great cartoon drawings.
 

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Subj:     Sex At 83! (S717 in Sex-Supp)
          From: lubin100 on 10/14/2010
Drawing from Susty.com
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute joke.
 

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Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip (S701b)
          By Brian Crane on 6/24/2010
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/
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Subj:     When I Was A Kid (S744)
          From: Kay Knight on Facebook on 4/14/2011
 Source: http://forums.fourtitude.com/showthread.php?
.........5262233-quot-When-I-was-a-kid-I-didn-t-have-...-quot
 When I was a kid I didn't have an XBox, or Wii.
 I had a bike and a curfew (the street lights).
 Mom didn't call my cell, she yelled outside, "time to come in".
 I played outside with friends, not Online.
 If I didn't eat what my mom made me then I didn't eat.
 Hand sanitizer didn't exist,
    but you COULD get your mouth washed out with soap.
 Re-post this if you drank water out of a hose...and survived!
 

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Subj:     Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S630b)
          By Wiley Miller on 2/1/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2009/02/01
 Click 'HERE' to view this cute comic strip about
 Hugh Hefner's wild life style.
 

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Subj:     Newly Retired Man Gets Up Late (S686)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 2/5/2010
 Judging by the time they picked up their morning newspaper,
 my newly retired neighbors were getting up later and later.
 One morning I was outside when my neighbor slipped out to
 pick up his paper. "Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins,
 you know," I teased him.  He replied, "So is envy."
 

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Subj:     Momma Comics On Elderly Dating (S598b)
          From: Creators.com on 7/1/2008 (in Dating2)
Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
 You can read this cute comic strip about elderly dating
 on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Word Of The Day: Exhaustipated - Button (S800)
          From: virv on 5/8/2012
 Source: http://othersiderainbow.blogspot.com/2012_04_22_archive.html
 This source site has some very interesting stuff,
 with new material being added each day.
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Subj:     In My Eyes (S555c)
          From: darrellvip on 9/5/2007
 I so relate to this drawing of an elderly lady sitting
 by a pond, that I had to put it on my web site.  You
 can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Now That I'm Older - Sign (S546b)
          From: SCOTCOB on 6/28/2007
 You can read this cute sign by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Florida Squirrel (S543b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/7/2007
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 The rarely photographed Central Florida squirrel can be seen
 by clicking 'HERE'. For those of you out West, this species
 has also been spotted in Arizona and California.
 

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Subj:     Inside Every Old Person - Sign (S541c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/24/2007
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute senior sign by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Retirement (S539)
          By Bob Thaves on 5/12/2007
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2007/05/12
 You can view this cute cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Senior's T-Shirt (S530b, S752)
          From: tom on 6/10/2011
..........At: (Removed from deathby1000papercuts.com)
 You can view this cute animated GIF by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Two Elderly Gents Talk (S528b)
          From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 3/4/2007
 Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
 on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and
 says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of
 aches and pains. I know you're about my age.  How do you
 feel?"

 Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

 "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"

 "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
 

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Subj:     My Life In A Pie Chart (S501c)
          From: jtgalvan on 8/28/2006
 You can view this cute chart by clicking 'HERE'.

 

From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 5/20/2007 (S541b)
 The next time someone says to you, "I hate getting older",
 just remind them, that it is OLDER OR UNDER (as in Six feet
 under).

From: gordonschuk on 6/4/2007 (S543b, S766)
 and From: hellgunner50 on 9/13/2011
 Three old guys are out walking.
 First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
 Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
 Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

From: LABLaughsClean on 4/29/2008 (S589b)
 "Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be; the last of
  life for which the first was made."  -- Robert Browning

From: LABLaughsClean on 2/5/2010 (S686b)
 Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if
 you wish to keep them in working order."  -- John Quincy Adams

From: ezines@arcamax.com on 9/14/2010 (S713b)
 Old age is when former classmates are so gray and
 wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.

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