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Subj:     Mothers-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 45 jokes and articles, 13 1001,21,cf,wXT3,18)

Mom Walking from
Josephs Free Stuff
Includes the following:  Nothing Is Really Lost - Sign (S884)
.........................The Irish Mother-In-Law (S1001)
.........................Marc Mero - A Mother's Love... - Video (S938)
........................."Mom, Where Did I Come From?" (S537)
.........................Procter And Gamble's Moms Commercial (S946)
.........................Mom and Dad (S136)
.........................The Video EVERY Mom Must See! - Video (S904)
.........................My Mother Taught Me (S106, S789)
.........................A New Perspective For Moms - Video (S878)
.........................The Mommy Test (S526b)
.........................Open Letter To Moms From Kid President - Video (S853)
.........................My Mom - Agent 008 (S484b)
.........................Extraordinary Mothers - Video (S711b)
.........................Our Drug Problem! (S512c)
.........................Mother's Words - Video (S560)
.........................Mothers And Living Through Pain (S591b)
.........................A Mother's Day Poem (S590c)
.........................Momma Comic Strip II (S611)
........................."Why My Lips Stayed Chapped On Mother's Day" (S542)
.........................Momma Comic Strip (S600)
.........................Famous Mothers (S484c)
.........................Funny Mom-Isms (S485)
.........................For All The Mothers (S118)
.........................Short Jokes About Mothers
..............................Peanuts Sunday Comic Strip II (S904)
..............................Murphy's Law For Moms (S877)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S796)
..............................Peanuts Sunday Comic Strip (S747)
..............................Mother Squirrel Saves The Day (S666)
..............................Herman Comic Strip (S621c)
..............................Mothers In All Colors (S612)
..............................Invisible Mother (S578b)
..............................Mother in Law - PPS (S520b)
..............................Mother-Child Love (S487c)
..............................You Are Changing (S486b)
===========================================================Top
Subj:     Nothing Is Really Lost - Sign (S884d)
          From: George Takei on 12/5/2013
 Source: MySecuritySign.com
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Top
Subj:     The Irish Mother-In-Law (S1001)
          From: tom on 3/12/2016

 The mother-in-law arrives at her son-in-law's home for a
 visit and finds him, Paddy, in a rage and hurriedly packing
 his suitcase.

 "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

 "What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an
 email to my wife (your daughter) telling her I was coming
 home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess
 what I found? Your daughter, my wife Mary, naked with Joe
 Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable! This is
 the end of our marriage! I'm done! I'm leaving forever!"

 "Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy...," says, his mother-
 in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. My
 daughter would never do such a thing!  There must be a
 simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and
 find out what happened."

 Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
 "Paddy. I told you there must be a simple  explanation....
 She never got your E-mail!"

Top
Subj:     Marc Mero - A Mother's Love...(S938d)
          From: Diane Malicki on Facebook
Photo from Google.com
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/rZ_jWMh9by4
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/
..........video.php?v=10152567163946701

 Marc Mero, a WWF champion, gave a simple message that
 brought this middle school to tears. Click 'HERE' to
 see and hear Marc's wonderful talk about his mother.

Top
Subj:     "Mom, Where Did I Come From?" (S537)
          by Bonnie A. Adkins from Memphis, Tennessee
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/4/200

 True Story.

 Being a single mother, I wanted to do everything perfectly
 when it came to raising my son.  One day, he came to me
 with the age-old question...."Mom, where did I come from?"
 Since I considered myself a fairly hip, enlightened woman,
 I immediately stopped what I was doing and sat down with
 my six-year old child to begin the oh-so important explan-
 ation about the birds and the bees.  I navigated, fairly
 cleverly I thought, through the basics, explaining what I
 believed a six-year old would understand.  He listened
 intently, his eyes never leaving my face, never once
 interrupting me and seemingly very interested in what I
 had to say.

 I was feeling quite proud of myself, feeling as though I
 had met and managed a milestone in the "motherhood" depart-
 ment.  My pleasure with my success was short-lived, however,
 when my son looked directly at me, his head cocked slightly
 to one side and said "No, mom not sex. I mean like Lisa came
 from Pensacola, where did I come from?"

 You just never really know what is going on in their little
 minds, do you??

Top
Subj:     Procter And Gamble's Moms Commercial
          Pub by Procter and Gamble (S946d)
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/0JaHtpjzIME
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=851998008149973
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This Procter and Gamble's Moms Commercial
teachs us that falling, only makes us
stronger. Thank you, Mom.

Click 'HERE' to see this beautiful ad.

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Top
Subj:     Mom and Dad (S136)
          From: KMacinty on 9/7/99

 In Celebration of Women's History Month....

 Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, I'm tired, and
 it's getting late.  I think I'll go to bed."  She went to
 the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches,
 rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer
 for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box
 levels, filled the sugar container.  She then put some wet
 clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash,
 ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.  She picked up
 the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game
 pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back
 into the drawer.  She watered the plants, emptied a
 wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.  She yawned and
 stretched and headed for the bedroom.  She stopped by the
 desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash
 for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding
 under the chair.  She signed a birthday card for a friend,
 addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note
 for the grocery store.  She put both near her purse.  Mom
 then creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and
 flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails.

 Then she put water into the dog's dish and put the cat
 outside, then made sure the doors were locked.  She looked
 in on each of the kids and turned out a light and picked up
 a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a
 brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
 In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for
 the next day, straightened up the shoe rack.  She added
 three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.

 About that time, the hubby turned off the TV and announced
 to no one in particular "I'm going to bed,"  and he did.

Top
Subj:     The Video EVERY Mom Must See! (S904d)
          From: Cameron Switzer on Facebook
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/z3QALn1F4bQ
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=240844862778321

 Share and Show your Mom Loads of Love today and every other
 day.  If it was not for her you would have not been here today.
 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful tribute to mothers everywhere.

Top
Subj:     My Mother Taught Me (S106, S789)
          From: KMACINTY on 08/16/2000
      and From: tom on 3/4/2008 and 2/24/2012

 My Mother taught me LOGIC...
 "If you fall off that swing and break your neck,
 you can't go to the store with me."

 My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
 "If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
 they're going to freeze that way."

 My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
 "If you don't pass your spelling test,
 you'll never get a good job!"

 My Mother taught me ESP...
 "Put your sweater on; don't you think
 that I know when you're cold?"

 My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
 "What were you thinking? Answer me when
 I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

 My Mother taught me HUMOR...
 "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
 don't come running to me."

 My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
 "If you don't eat your vegetables,
 you'll never grow up.

 My mother taught me ABOUT SEX...
 "How do you think you got here?"

 My mother taught me about GENETICS...
 "You are just like your father!"

 My mother taught me about my ROOTS...
 "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

 My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
 "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
 "Just wait until your father gets home."

 My mother taught me about RECEIVING...
 "You are going to get it when we get home."

 And my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE...
 "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn
 out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."

 My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
 "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -
 I just finished cleaning!"

 My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that
 will come out of the carpet."

 My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't
 straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
 next week!"

 My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

 My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear
 clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

 My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give
 you something to cry about."

 My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
 "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

 My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you
 just look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

 My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there
 'till all that spinach is finished."

 My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a
 tornado swept through your room."

 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you
 once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

 My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought
 you into this world, and I can take you out."

 My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
 "Stop acting like your father!"

 My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions
 of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
 wonderful parents like you do!"

Top
Subj:     A New Perspective For Moms (S878d)
          From: A Little GOOD News on 11/4/2013
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/-CjxaLixqDs
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/momskids/

 There's a lot of pressure being a parent. We want to raise
 our children the right way, but there is no definitive hand-
 book for every difficult situation and we're bound to make
 mistakes along the way.  For most of us, we're our own
 biggest critic.  But what do the people who matter most
 think?  How do our children see us?  For Mother's Day this
 year, we did an experiment asking moms to describe themselves,
 and then compared that with what their own kids said about
 them.  It's amazing what you can see when you look from a
 different perspective.

 Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful tribute to mothers
 everywhere.

Top
Subj:     The Mommy Test (S526b)
          From: darrell94590 on 2/19/2007

 I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.  She picked
 up something off the ground and started to put it in her
 mouth.  I took the item away from her and I asked her not
 to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked.

 "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's
 been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.

 At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration
 and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh,"

 I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on
 the Mommy Test.  You have to know it, or they don't let you
 be a Mommy."

 We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was
 evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!"
 she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be
 the daddy."

 "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and
 joy in my heart.

Top
Subj:     Open Letter To Moms From Kid President 
          Made by SoulPancake on 5/13/13 (S853d)
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/pQ4Rnba85o8
 Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/
..........5805/Kid-President-Message-To-Moms/

 In this video, the Kid President has a message to moms
 titled 'Ten Things Every Mom Needs To Know.'  Click
 'HERE' to see this wonderful, funny video from the
 Kid President.

Top
Subj:     My Mom - Agent 008 (S484b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/10/2006

 I firmly believe that my mother is a spy.  Not the run of
 the mill, garden variety snoop, but a hard core, James Bond-
 rivaling agent of intrigue and defender of national security.
 Not only did she have eyes in the back of her head, but there
 were other clues to tip me off, as well.

 Mom always knew what I had plotted to do, even before I'd
 done anything.  When I was a teenager, heading out the door
 to my friend's house where we conspired to stay up all night
 making prank phone calls and watching the forbidden "R" rated
 movies, she would forewarn, "behave yourself" or "don't even
 think about it." How did she know?

 Obviously, she could read my face. Randomly, during the school
 year, she would ask if my grades were good -- to which I would
 always respond in the affirmative. "Look me in the eyes," she
 would say.  Oh no, not the eyes!  It was a truth serum no one
 could deny.  My teenage subterfuge tactics were no match for
 her all knowing eyes.  I, predictably, spent the remainder of
 the semester studying in my room.

 Clearly, she had completed a detailed regimen of specialized
 training.  She was accomplished at her craft; the best in her
 field.  Whenever a toy broke in our house, mom knew how to fix
 it (High-tech Gadgetry Repair 101).  The picture in her High
 School annual didn't even resemble her (obviously, a master
 of disguise).  And, she apparently had instruction as a Quick-
 Change artist.  In the blink of an eye, she could progress
 from point A: making breakfast for the family while still in
 her bathrobe and sporting pink foam curlers hair curlers, to
 point B: dressed to the nines and ready to leave the house
 for church.

 Her stealth-mode capabilities annoyed me most.  The minute I
 divulged a deep, dark secret to my best friend, there she was,
 out of nowhere.  Never mind the fact that she spoke in unbreak-
 able code to her "friends" on the telephone, but she hid
 Christmas presents so even foreign intelligence satellites
 couldn't locate them.

 The guilt glare topped her repertoire.  Presumably, a secret
 bio-chemical compound tainted her searing stare, rendering
 me helpless to its power.  Even the strongest of super heroes
 would fold under the pressure.  Confessions spilled out of
 me, before I even had a chance to think.

 Her extra sensory perception spanned space and time.  While I
 was away at college (300 miles from home), she somehow knew I
 was living on junk food, leaving my dirty clothes on the
 floor, and staying up too late gabbing with my roommate,
 prompting me to sweep the dorm room for listening devices.

Top
Subj:     Extraordinary Mothers (S711b,d)
          From: CKButch4Femme on 8/28/2010
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/KQhPMwMlm_w

 This Assignment America video with Steve Hartman discusses
 a dog named Lilly.  She wet nursing a litter of kittens and
 mothered animals of many species caring for babies of other
 species.  Click 'HERE' to see this wonderful story.

Top
Subj:     Our Drug Problem! (S512c)
          From: darrell94590 on 11/7/2006

 God bless mothers who drugged us!

 The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a
 methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in
 the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question,
 ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were
 growing up?''

 I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young:

 I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to
 church for weddings and funerals.

 I was drug to family reunions and community socials no
 matter the weather.

 I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.

 I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my
 parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did
 not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the
 preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in
 everything that was asked of me.

 I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed
 out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word.

 I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower
 beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.

 I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors
 to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard,
 repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my
 mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip
 for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the
 woodshed.

 Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my
 behavior in everything I do, say, and think. They are
 stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's
 children had this kind of drug problem, America would be
 a better place.

Top
Subj:     Mother's Words (S560d)
          Sung by Anita Renfroe
          From: rfslick on 10/7/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/hDMhpapZcoU

 Comedian Anita Renfroe sings everything a mom says
 all day to the William Tell Overture to her child
 for twenty-four hours in under three minutes.  It is
 sung to the William Tell Overture.  Click 'HERE' to
 listen.

Top
Subj:     Mothers And Living Through Pain (S591b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/10/2008

 As I looked up at my Mom's picture hanging above my desk
 today, I realized that it is now almost 15 years since
 her death. Thankfully, over the years the pain and sense
 of loss have eased while the memories of her life and her
 love have remained. I can still feel her presence as I
 write this. I am sure that she is not only smiling down
 on me from her picture on the wall, but from Heaven as
 well. I only wish she hadn't left us quite so soon.

 The great teacher, author, and speaker Leo Buscaglia said
 that he was often asked by his classes why we have to go
 through pain, suffering, and even death. He stated that
 he never did find out why, but at some point in his life
 he stopped asking the questions and started living the
 answers. "That", he said, "made all the difference."

 How do we live the answers? I think we do so by choosing
 love, joy, and oneness with God everyday of our lives. We
 do so through pain as well as comfort. We do so through
 suffering as well as happiness. We do so even in the face
 of death. Some of the wisest, gentlest, kindest, most
 loving, and most joyous people I have ever known are those
 who have suffered the most.  The only difference is that
 they used that suffering to help them to grow into the
 people God wanted them to be.

 What good is pain, suffering, and even death if we don't
 use them to grow more loving, more giving, more compassionate,
 more peaceful, more joyous, and more at one with God? I think
 my Mother knew this as she battled cancer in her final years
 and faced death at such an early age. She blessed us all with
 her love, her joy, and her gentle laughter right up until her
 dying day. I only hope and pray that I can live my own answers
 as beautifully and wonderfully as she lived hers. May all of
 you lovingly live your own answers then in this life and in
 the next.

 ...Joseph J. Mazzella

Top
Subj:     A Mother's Day Poem (S590c)
          From: rfslick on 5/11/2008

                Your Mother is always with you.
  She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street,
         she's the smell of certain foods you remember,
          flowers you pick, and perfume that she wore.
 She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well.
    She's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day.
    She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep,
     the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning.
          Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
          She is crystallized in every tear drop.
              A mother shows every emotion...
      happiness, sadness, fear, jealousy, love, hate, anger,
             helplessness, excitement, joy, sorrow
      ...and all the while, hoping and praying you will
             only know the good feelings in life.

       She's the place you came from, your first home, and
        she's the map you follow with every step you take.
 She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy,
             but nothing on earth can separate you.
            Not time, not space.......not even death!
 

                        Happy Mothers Day
 

Top
Subj:     Momma Comic Strip II (S611)
          By Mell Lazarus on 9/22/2008
.Source: http://www.gocomics.com/momma/2008/09/22
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Top
Subj:     "Why My Lips Stayed Chapped On Mother's Day" (S542)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/11/2007

 So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just
 recently died.  Jack was a great cat and the kids would
 carry him around and sit on him  and nothing ever bothered
 him.  He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat
 in our bathroom.

 Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were
 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old.  The middle one is
 Eli.  Eli really loves chap stick.  LOVES it.  He kept
 asking to use my chap stick and then losing it. So finally
 one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chap
 stick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he
 needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

 Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush
 around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying
 and carrying on.  My two boys are fighting over the toy in
 the cereal box.  I am trying to nurse my little one at the
 same time I am putting on my make-up.  Everything is a mess
 and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful
 day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.  We
 finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car
 and I am looking for Eli.

 I have searched everywhere and I finally rounded the corner
 to go into the bathroom.  And there was Eli.  He was applying
 my chap stick very care fully to Jack's . . . rear end.  Eli
 looked right into my eyes and said "chapped."  Now if you
 have a cat, you know that he is right-- their little butts
 do look pretty chapped.  And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to
 mind.  And the only question to really ask at that point
 was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the
 cat's behind or the hundredth.

 And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it
 reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these
 glorious little creatures, there will always be that day
 when you realize they've been using your chap stick on the
 cat's butt.  It is hard to tell what I've put on/in my mouth
 after raising 4 kids and 3 of them boys !!!!!   Ha Ha.

Top
Subj:     Momma Comic Strip (S600) 
          By Mell Lazarus on 7/15/2008
..........At: http://www.gocomics.com/momma/2008/07/15
 You can view these three cute comic strips on mother's
 feelings by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Famous Mothers (S484c)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/10/2006

 1) The youngest mother whose history is authenticated is
 Lina Medina, who delivered a 6?-pound boy by cesarean section
 in Lima, Peru in 1939, at an age of 5 years and 7 months. The
 child was raised as her brother and only discovered that Lina
 was his mother when he was 10.

 2) On April 9, 2003, Satyabhama Mahapatra, a 65-year-old
 retired schoolteacher in India, became the world's oldest
 mother when she gave birth to a baby boy.  Satyabhama and her
 husband had been married 50 years, but this is their first
 child.  The baby was conceived through artificial insemination
 using eggs from the woman's 26-year-old niece, Veenarani
 Mahapatra, and the sperm of Veenarani's husband.

 3) Eric Clapton was born to an unwed mother and to shield him
 from the shame, Eric grew up believing that his grandparents
 were his parents and his mother was his sister.

 4) Jayne Bleackley is the mother who holds the record for the
 shortest interval between two children born in separate
 confinements. She gave birth to Joseph Robert on September 3,
 1999, and Annie Jessica Joyce on March 30, 2000.  The babies
 were born 208 days apart.

 5) Elizabeth Ann Buttle is the mother who holds the record for
 the longest interval between the birth of two children.  She
 gave birth to Belinda on May 19,1956 and Joseph on November 20,
 1997.  The babies were born 41 years 185 days apart.  The
 mother was 60 years old when her son Joseph was born.

 6) The highest officially recorded number of children born to
 one mother is 69, to the first wife of Feodor Vassilyev (1707-
 1782) of Shuya, Russia.  Between 1725 and 1765, in a total of
 27 confinements, she gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, seven
 sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets.  67 of them
 survived infancy.

 7) The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina
 Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Leontina claims to be the
 mother of 64 children, of which only 55 of them are documented.
 She is listed in the 1999 Guinness World Records but dropped
 from later editions.

 8) Katherine Hepburn's father was a surgeon and her mother was
 a dedicated suffragette and early crusader for birth control.

 9) Kim Basinger's mother had been a champion swimmer who
 performed water ballets in several Esther Williams movies in
 the 1940s.

 10) Elvis Presley, was a mama's boy.  He slept in the same bed
 with his mother, Gladys, until he reached puberty.  Up until
 Elvis entered high school, she walked him back and forth to
 school every day and made him take along his own silverware so
 that he wouldn't catch germs from the other kids.  Gladys
 forbade young Elvis from going swimming or doing anything that
 might put him in danger.  The two of them also conversed in a
 strange baby talk that only they could understand.

 11) Bobbie McCaughey is the mother who holds the record for the
 most surviving children from a single birth.  She gave birth to
 the first set of surviving septuplets - four boys and three
 girls -on November 19, 1997, at the University Hospital, Iowa,
 US.  Conceived by in vitro fertilization, the babies were
 delivered after 31 weeks by caesarean in the space of 16 minutes.
 The babies are named Kenneth, Nathaniel, Brandon, Joel, Kelsey,
 Natalie and Alexis.

 12) Laura Dern earned a Best Actress Oscar nomination for her
 illuminating performance as the title character in Rambling
 Rose, an underrated picture in 1991 that also won a Best
 Supporting Actress nomination for her mother, Diane Ladd.
 This was the first time a mother-daughter team had been so
 honored; they became the first mother and daughter ever
 nominated for Academy Awards for the same movie.

 13) Madonna's mother died when she was five years old.

 14) Phyllis Diller, a 40-year-old mother of five and an
 advertising copywriter for a California radio station, made
 a rousing comedy debut at San Francisco's Purple Onion in 1957.

 15) American talk show host Conan O'Brien's father is Dr. Thomas
 O'Brien, a noted epidemiologist, the head of microbiology at
 Peter Brigham Hospital, and a professor at Harvard Medical
 School.  His mother, Ruth Reardon O'Brien, was a partner at
 Ropes ? Gray law firm outside Boston until her 1997 retirement.

 16) Meredith Baxter-Birney played the mother, Elyse Keaton on
 the hit TV sitcom Family Ties.  Her actress mother, Whitney
 Blake, also played a mom: Dorothy Baxter, on TV's Hazel.

 17) James McNeill Whistler's best known painting, often
 called "Whistler's Mother," is actually titled "Arrangement
 in Black and Gray: The Artist's Mother.

 18) Many of the sweaters worn by Mr. Rogers on the popular
 television show, Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, were actually
 knitted by his real mother.

 19) Monkee Mike Nesmith's mother, Bette Nesmith Graham was
 the inventor of Liquid Paper correction fluid. She sold the
 rights to the Gillette Corporation in 1979 for $47.5
 million and when she died in 1980, she left half of her
 fortune to her son Michael.

 20) Hoyt Axton wrote Three Dog Night's "Joy To The World".
 His mother, Mae Axton wrote "Heartbreak Hotel" for Elvis Presley.

Top
Subj:     Funny Mom-Isms (S485)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/6/2006

  1) "You'll understand when you're older."

  2) "You won't be happy until you break that, will you?"

  3) "You can't find it?  Well, if you'd put things where
     they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem."

  4) "Who died and left you boss?"

  5) "When you have your own house then you can make the rules!"

  6) "When I was young we had respect for our elders,
     now look at the world!"

  7) "What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?"

  8) "Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap."

  9) "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

 10) "I'm not going to ask you again."

 11) "I brought you into this world, and I can
     take you right back out!"

 12) "Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!"

 13) "Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?"

 14) "As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say."

 15) "Am I talking to a brick wall?"

 16) "Answer me when I ask you a question!"

 17) "Are you going out dressed like that?"

 18) "Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!"

 19) "Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age."

 20) "Did you clean your room?"

 21) "I don't care who started it, YOU stop it!"

 22) "Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way."

 23) "Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!"

 24) "Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been."

 25) "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

 26) "If you don't clean your plate, you won't get any dessert."

 27) "How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!"

 28) "How many times do I have to tell you?"

 29) "If you don't stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!"

 30) "I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one."

Top
Subj:     For All The Mothers (S118)
          From: smiles on 5/7/99

 This is for all the mothers who DIDN'T win Mother of the
 Year in 1999.  All the runners-up and all the wannabes.
 The mothers too tired to enter or too busy to care.  This
 is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal
 bleachers at soccer games Friday night instead of watching
 from cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see my
 goal?"  They could say "Of course, wouldn't have missed it
 for the world," and mean it.

 This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with
 sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with
 Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's OK
 honey, Mommy's here."

 This is for all the mothers of Kosovo who fled in the night
 and can't find their children.  This is for the mothers who
 gave birth to babies they'll never see.  And the mothers who
 took those babies and made them homes.

 For all the mothers of the victims of the Colorado shooting,
 and the mothers of the murderers.   For the mothers of the
 survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in
 horror, hugging their child who just came home from school,
 safely.

 For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and
 sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

 What makes a good mother anyway?  Is it patience?
 Compassion?  Broad hips?  The ability to nurse a baby, cook
 dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

 Or is it heart?  Is it the ache you feel when you watch
 your son disappear down the street, walking to school alone
 for the very first time?  The jolt that takes you from
 sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 a.m. to put your hand
 on the back of a sleeping baby?  The need to flee from
 wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a
 school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying?  I
 think so.

 So this is for all the mothers who sat down with their
 children and explained all about making babies.  And for
 all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.  This is
 for reading "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year.
 And then reading it again."Just one more time."

 This is for all the mothers who mess up.  Who yell at their
 kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair and
 stomp their feet like a tired 2 year old who wants ice
 cream before dinner.

 This is for all the mothers who taught their daughters to
 tie their shoelaces before they started school.  And for
 all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.  For all the
 mothers who bite their lips -- sometimes until they bleed--
 when  their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

 Who lock themselves in the bathroom  when babies keep
 crying and won't stop.  This is for all the mothers who
 show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains
 on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

 This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook
 and their daughters to sink a jump shot.  This is for all
 mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice
 calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own
 offspring are at home.

 This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on
 their children's graves.  This is for mothers whose child-
 ren have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach
 them.  This is for all the mothers who sent their sons to
 school with stomach-aches, assuring them they'd be just
 FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school
 nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up.
 Right away.

 This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes
 and sleep deprivation.  And mature mothers learning to let
 go.  For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.  Single
 mothers and married mothers.  Mothers with money, mothers
 without.

 This is for you all. So hang in there.
 HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

 (Author unknown)


Subj:     Short Jokes About Mothers

Top
Subj: Peanuts Sunday Comic Strip II (S904d)
      By Charles M. Schulz on 5/11/2014

 At: http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/2014/05/11

 Click 'HERE' to see a second Classic Peanuts Sunday comic
 strip about Mother's Day.
 

Top
Subj:     Murphy's Law For Moms (S877)
Drawing from CiteLighter.com...
 Source: http://www.raisingarrows.net/2012/01/murphys-law-for-moms/
 Murphy's Law  states: "Anything that can go wrong, will go
 wrong."  Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy,
 to see how this applies to mothers.
 

Top
Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (S796)
          By Dan Piraro on 4/18/2012
Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/april-18-2012/
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Top
Subj:     Peanuts Sunday Comic Strip (S747)
          By Charles M. Schulz on 5/8/2011
 At: http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/2011/05/08
 Click 'HERE' to see this Classic Peanuts Sunday comic
 strip about Mother's Day.
 

Top
Subj:     Mother Squirrel Saves The Day (S666)
          From: gattica30 on 6/15/09 (in Animal-Supp)
 These four photos show how all mothers react when
 their kids, or grandkids are in danger.  Click
 'HERE' to see these heart-warming photos.
 

Top
Subj:     Herman Comic Strip (S621c)
          by Jim Unger on 12/5/2008
..........At: http://www.gocomics.com/herman/2008/12/05
 You can read this cute comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.

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Top
Subj:     Mothers In All Colors - PPS (S612)
          From: darrellvip on 8/13/2008
 This PowerPoint Show of mother animals and their
 babies is quite touching.  Click 'HERE'to view it.
 

Top
Subj:     Invisible Mother (S578b)
          From: ginafm on 2/17/2008
 You can read this wonderful, long, heart warming story
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Mother in Law - PPS (S520b)
          From: redcatt on 1/7/2007
 Long joke in PowerPoint Show format.  You can
 view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Mother-Child Love (S487c)
          From: igiggle on 5/24/2006
 I tell you there is no love sweeter than the love between
 a mother and a child.  Now I know my wife loves me, but I
 am reasonably sure that she doesn't look at me the same way
 she looks at them.  You know, it's kind of humbling because
 you realize at some point you're just a date that worked out.
 
 

Top
Subj:     You Are Changing (S486b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/16/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
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From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/12/2006 (S486b)
 "A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically
  once, and by car forever after."  -- Peter De Vries


From: igiggle on 5/25/2006 (S488b)
 Mothers stress the lovely meaning of Mother's Day by gathering
 their children and tenderly saying, "I carried every one of you
 in my body for nine months and then my hips started spreading
 because of you.  I wasn't built like this until you were born
 and I didn't have this big blue vein in the back of my leg.
 You did this to me."  -- Bill Cosby


From: igiggle on 5/25/2006 (S488b)
 You may view yourself as a mature, self-reliant person, but
 your mom views you as a person who once got lost in the
 department store and got so scared that you pooped your pants.
 Which caused you to become so ashamed that you tried to hide
 in the ladies' lingerie department where the nice clerk was
 able to find you because she noticed the highly unromantic
 aroma emanating from somewhere inside a rack of negligees.
   -- Dave Barry
 

From: igiggle on 5/25/2006 (S488b - mothers-supp)
 You know you're a mother when you're up each night until
 10:00 pm, vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying,
 loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing,
 ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing
 diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills,
 budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to
 bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling,
 feeding, swinging, playing ball, bike riding, pushing
 trucks, cuddling dolls, roller blading, catching, blowing
 bubbles, running sprinklers, sliding, taking walks,
 coloring, crafting, jumping rope, raking, trimming,
 planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking
 /feeding the dog.  You get up at 5:30 am, and you have no
 time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet -
 you still manage to gain ten pounds.
 

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/4/2007 (S537b)
 The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She
 never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother,
 never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  -- Rajneesh

From: LABLaughsClean on 11/6/2007 (S563b)
 "God could not be everywhere, so He created mothers."
    -- Jewish Proverb

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