Women In Mid-Life (S286, S479)
From: pns on 7/20/2002
and From:LABLaughsAdult on 3/20/2006
|Mid-life is when the
growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to
care for our newly acquired mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have
upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts,
we are flying squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked
in front of a mirror and you can see your rear end without turning
Mid-life is when you want to grab
every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream "Listen Honey, even the
Roman Empire fell, and those will, too!"
Mid-life means that your Body By
Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally -- more red and blue lines than
an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.
In mid-life your memory starts to
go. In fact, the only thing we can still retain is water.
||Mid-life is when you
go for a mammogram and realize that it is the only time someone will ask
you to appear topless on film.
Mid-life brings with it the wisdom
to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your
know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch
Mid-life means that you become more
reflective. You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why
am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer
a healthy choice?
|But mid-life also brings
with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts
sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey
worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now,
for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have
to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.
That's my philosophy and I'm sticking
Send this to four women and you
will lose two pounds.
Send this to all the women you know
(or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds.
If you delete this message, you
will gain 10 pounds immediately.