Subj: Famous People2
(Includes 52 jokes and articles, 13731n,2,cf)
Charlie Chaplin
from
Mike's Animation
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Subj: Famous People2 (Includes 52 jokes and articles, 13731n,2,cf) |
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Charlie Chaplin from Mike's Animation |
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Subj: Famous
People Painting (S645)
From: darrellvip on 5/18/2009
Source: http://cliptank.com/PeopleofInfluencePainting.htm
.
 |
Click on the above source, or
'HERE'
for my file copy,
to see this large, spectacular,
amazing painting.
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Subj: Who
Is Your Roll Model? (S623)
From: drgolfmd on 12/17/2008
and
From: gattica30 on 12/18/2008
Don't cheat. It is short
and amazingly accurate!
WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL???
Try it without looking at answers
1. Pick your Favorite number between 1-9
2. Multiply by 3 then
3. Add 3, then again Multiply by 3
(I'll wait while you get the calculator....)
4. You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....
5. Add the digits together
Now Scroll down ..............
Now with that number see who
your ROLE MODEL is from
the list below:
1. Einstein
2. Nelson Mandela
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Brad Pitt
8. John McCain
9. Alan Switzer
10. Barack Obama
I know....I just have that effect
on people...
one day you too can be like
me.... :-) Believe it!
Ps. Stop picking different numbers.
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Subj: Mike
Tyson Headlines
From: ipkis on 97-07-11
A selection of headlines on Sunday
and Monday from the
MikeTyson-Evander Holyfield
fight and its aftermath:
''A Bad Bite for Boxing'' - The
News ? Observer of Raleigh.
''Twice Bitten'' - Times-Picayune
of New Orleans.
''Bite of the Century!'' - Arizona
Republic.
''Bite Night'' - Lexington (Ky.)
Herald-Leader.
''Tyson's Tasteless Tactics:
Bite Night'' - The Record
of
Hackensack,N.J.
''Reality Bites'' - Times Union
of Albany, N.Y.
''Did Tyson Bite Off More Than
He Can Chew?
Time Will Tell'' - Salt
LakeTribune.
''Tyson Subject of Biting Criticism''
- The (Baltimore) Sun.
''Biting Commentary'' - The
Boston Herald.
''Tyson Bites the Dust, Holyfield''
- Huntsville (Ala.) Times.
''Holyfield May Take a Bite
Out of Tyson'' -
The
Indianapolis Star.
''Holyfield Can't Stay Unbitten
as Heavyweight''
- Sun-Sentinel, Fort
Lauderdale, Fla.
''Earmarks of cowardice'' -
Houston Chronicle.
''Earmark of an eerie night''
- The Atlanta Journal
and the Atlanta Constitution.
''A two-bit bout: Holyfield
wins'' - Kansas City Star.
''From Champ to Chomp'' - The
Herald-Sun of Durham, N.C.
''The Champ and the Chomp''
- The Jersey Journal.
''Holyfield Still Chomp-ion''
- San Francisco Examiner.
''Heavyweight Chomp'' - Philadelphia
Inquirer.
''Undisputed Chomp'' - USA TODAY.
''World Chomp'' - The Sun (London).
''Requiem for a Chompion'' -
Philadelphia Daily News.
''Sucker Munch'' - The Sun (London).
''Biting Back: Evander has public's
ear'' -
Daily
News, New York.
''Toss Tyson Out on Ear'' -
Daily News, New York.
''Ear Flap'' - Newsday.
''Ears Have It! Evander Wins''
- Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser.
''Tyson's Behavior Hard to Swallow''
-
Providence
Journal-Bulletin.
''Dracula'' - New York Post.
''Champ Chewing Over Legal Options''
- New York Post.
''It's Tyson's Nature to (Ch)eat''
- New York Post.
''For Tyson, Tooth Hurts'' -
New York Post.
''Now Ear This: Rematch is Possible''
- New York Post.
''Lobe Blow for Boxing'' - The
Tennessean.
''Iron Mike Goes Down Biting''
- The Sunday Oklahoman.
''Tyson Doesn't Gnaw What's
Next'' - The Daily Oklahoman.
''Ear of Scorn'' - Kansas City
Star.
''Pay Per Chew'' - Philadelphia
Daily News.
''Holyfield Lends Ear as Tyson
Self-Destructs''
- Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.
''Ear-Responsible'' - Fort Worth
Star-Telegram.
''Tyson Scars Face of Boxing''
- The Guardian (London).By
The Associated Press
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Subj: Tyson
Quotations
From: ipkis on 97-07-13
Everybody knows about the Tyson-Holyfield
fight...
here are some additional views:
-Mike Tyson was disqualified
for biting Evander Holyfield's
ears during their heavy weight
title bout. "Did you see
the fight? or as it's now being
called 'My Dinner With
Evander." (Bob Millis)
-"Boxing industry officials expressed
concern over Tyson's
bite would give the sport a
barbaric nature." (Richard Acello)
-"The only person happy with
Saturday's outcome was Tyson's
new corner woman... Lorena Bobbit"
(Alex Pearlstein)
-"Psychologists and journalists
all weekend are trying to
analyze Mike Tyson," says Argus
Hamilton (Oklahoma Daily).
"Actually, he's easy to figure
out. Tyson is the kind of
guy who likes his fellow man-with
gravy."
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Subj: Mike
Tyson's Top 10 Jokes
From: ipkis on 97-07-24
NO. 10
-----------
Tyson already has his next fight
lined up, with Lorena
Bobbitt. Winner eats all.
NO. 9
-----------
This gives new meaning to "box
lunch."
NO. 8
-----------
Reporter: "Evander, what did
you think when Tyson
bit off your ear?" Holyfield:
"What?"
NO. 7
-----------
Spock-vs.-Tyson bout hastily
canceled
NO. 6
-----------
What did Mike Tyson say to Van
Gogh?
You gonna eat that?"
NO. 5
-----------
Did you hear about the new Mike
Tyson computer?
It has two bytes and no memory
NO. 4
-----------
Next bout: Tyson vs. Hannibal
Lecter, with Julia Child
to referee. To be held
in Hungary. Billed as, "The
snackfest in Budapest."
NO. 3
-----------
How does Mike Tyson differ from
Metallica?
Metallica leaves a ringing in
your ears.
Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
NO. 2
-----------
Slogans for Tyson-Holyfield
III
The Third Gogh Around
Dahmer vs. Psalmer
The Last Supper
Ear-Reconcilable Differences
Grazing Bull
You Wanna Piece of Me?
Blood Sweat and Ears
No Lobe Lost
Bite of the Century
Because you're dumb enough to
pay for it.
NO. 1
---------
When interviewed after the fight,
Tyson's first remarks
were that "it tasted like chicken."
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Subj: Short
Mike Tyson Jokes
From: ipkis on 97-07-11
If Tyson gets banned for life,
he could always become a
barber. Think about it:
You could walk into his shop and
say, "Hey, Mike! Could
you take a little off the ears?
Have you heard that Holyfield-Tyson
III is going to be
held in Tennessee? Yeah,
Don King's calling it the
Chattanooga Chew Chew.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #258 on 98-10-27
(S91)
"According to psychiatric evaluations
by doctors at
Massachusetts General Hospital,
Mike Tyson is
psychologically fit to fight
again. "Tyson's overjoyed,"
says Jay Leno. "He told
doctors all he needed was a
sympathetic ear."
From: ossama on 98-10-29
Mike Tyson was declared mentally
fit to return to boxing,
despite hit biting incident.
Tyson was quoted as saying,
"This just shows that everyone
deserves a chance at seconds,
um, I mean a second chance."
Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to
bite ears?
A: How else do you tell a 275
pound inmate that
"no means no"?
Q: What would have made Mike
Tyson's apology seem
more sincere?
A: Don King drinking a glass
of water at the same time!
Q: What did Tyson say to Holyfield
after the referee took
two points away
from him?
A: "Come 'ear."
Q: What did Tyson say to Don
King back in the dressing room?
A: You're right it did taste
like chicken!
Q: Who's the latest person to
get tatooed on Tyson's arms?
A: Jeffery Dahmer.
Q: What did Holyfield say after
the fight?
A: Ear today, gone tommorrow.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #193
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during
sex?
A: Mace.
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| Subj:
Tiger Woods Jokes (S670b)
From: tom on 12/2/2009 and From: gaylevallejo on 12/2/2009 |
 |
Photo from TopNews.in |
Click 'HERE' for the latest Tiger Woods jokes.
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Subj: Hitchcock's
Elevator Story (S108, S585)
From: ossama on 99-02-15
"Well, it was a quite shocking,
I must say -- there was
blood everywhere!" Alfred Hitchcock
began suddenly from
the rear of the elevator.
We were in the New York St.
Regis Hotel, heading down to
the lobby. There was as
light flush to his cheeks from
the several frozen
daiquiris he had just drunk
in his suite. The elevator
had just stopped and 3 people
dressed for the evening had
joined us, and immediately Mr.
Hitchcock had started to
speak, sounding as though he
were in mid-sentence and
projecting in that careful and
familiar TV tone of his.
He went on, "There was as stream
of blood coming from his
ear and another from his mouth.
The people had recognized him
immediately, but now they
seemed purposely to avoid looking
at him. He went right
on, gazing beatifically ahead
of him as the elevator
stopped again and another well-dressed
couple came aboard:
"Of course, there was a huge
pool of blood on the floor
and his clothes were spattered
with it -- Oh, it was a
horrible mess."
No one on the elevator, it seemed,
was breathing. "Blood
all around! Well, I looked
at the poor man and I said,
'Good God, What happened to
you?'" At that point the
elevator doors opened onto the
lobby, and Hitchcock said,
"Do you know what he told me?"
and then paused. After a
moment, and quite reluctantly,
the other passengers moved
out of the elevator and then
looked back at the director
as we walked away.
After several foggy moments,
I asked, "Well, what DID he
say?" and Hitchcock smiled benevolently,
taking my arm,
and said, "Oh, nothing -- that's
just my elevator story."
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Subj: Other
Famous People Jokes
From: ossama on 99-02-15 (S108)
Due to the popularity of the
movie "You've Got Mail",
Charlie Sheen and Robert Downey
Jr. will star in a sequel,
"You've Made Bail."
From: RFSlick on 99-02-14
Alfred Hitchcock didn't have
a belly button. It was
eliminated when he was sewn
up after surgery.
Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.
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Charlie Smiley from
Smiley_Central |
