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Subj:.....Tiger Woods Jokes (S670b)
Photo from TopNews.in...
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Tiger Woods Auto Accident
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Tiger Woods was injured in a car accident at 2:30 AM Friday,
Nov 27.  The Florida Highway Patrol said
the 33-year-old PGA star hit the hydrant
and a tree after pulling out of his drive-
way in his SUV sports utility vehicle.  When
the FHP arrived, Tiger was unconscious on the
ground beside his Cadillac Escalade with cuts.
The airbags did not deploy and Woods' wife told
Windermere police she used a golf club to smash
the back windows to help him out.
Photo from OrlandoSentinel.com

FHP officials on Tuesday charged the international golf star with
careless driving in the single-car crash.  Woods paid the $164 fine
and received four points on his driver's record.

And now the jokes start....
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Subj:.....The Wanda Sykes Show: Tiger Woods Car Accident
          From: tom on 12/5/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
.........ttZSjajdRd8?feature=player_embedded

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Subj:.....Latest Tiger Woods Family Portrait.... 
          From: tom on 12/2/2009
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Subj:.....Nineteen Tiger Woods' One-Liners.... 
          From: gaylevallejo on 12/2/2009
Source: http://www.vancouversun.com/opinion/Tiger+Woods+voicemail+
........alleged+girlfriend+released+apology+follows/2294446/Tiger+
........Woods+jokes+viral+That+funny/2294640/story.html

With the help of talk show writers and just plain twisted people,
this list of Tiger Wood jokes has gone viral via email.  In case
you haven't received your copy yet, here's the latest yuks at poor
Tiger's expense.

One:
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.

Two:
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Three:
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash,
but he's still below par.

Four:
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Five:
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree.  He couldn't
decide between a wood and an iron.

Six:
Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?

Seven:
This is the first time Tiger's ever failed to drive 300 yards

Eight:
Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave
he's ever had.  So Gillette has dropped his contract.

Nine:
After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling
behind a tree.

Ten:
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with
a golf club is his wife.

Eleven:
From: gaylevallejo on 12/4/2009 (S670b)
Tiger's got a new nickname:
Instead of Tiger, he's now called Cheetah.

Twelve:
From: Jay Leno Show on 12/1/2009 (S670b)
How could Tiger cheat on his wife?  She is a Sweedish model,
who is a perfect 19.  That's a ten with a nine iron.

Thirteen:
From: The Tonight Show w/Conan O'Brien on 12/8/2009 (S671b)
One of Tiger Woods' girlfriends is a sports
commentator in England.  Tiger calls her his
British Open.

Fourteen:
From: The Tonight Show w/Conan O'Brien on 12/8/2009 (S671b)
Gatorade has discontinued its Tiger Woods drink but
says it made the decision before the golfer's car
accident led to a media firestorm surrounding his
personal life. Maybe it has something to do with
their slogan, "Is Tiger Woods in you?"

Fifteen:
From: The Tonight Show w/Conan O'Brien on 12/10/2009 (S671b)
The latest on the Tiger Woods scandal is the release
of Tiger Woods' text messages to at least a couple of
his women, the list of which is becoming too much to
count on our hands alone.
TW: How long has it been since you had sex?
JG: Two minutes, I'm the one on the bed next to you.

Sixteen:
From: The Tonight Show w/Conan O'Brien on 12/11/2009 (S671b)
Researchers have found that 83% of the children who
watch TV regularly can recognize Tiger Woods if you
show them his picture.  That's good because he might
be their father.

Seventeen:
From: The Tonight Show w/Conan O'Brien on 12/16/2009 (S672b)
The latest Tiger Woods' mistress to come forward
is forty-eight years old, or as Tiger calls her
"My senior tour."

Eighteen:
From: The Jay Leno Show on 12/21/2009 (S675b)
Several of Tiger Woods' mistresses have said that Tiger
doesn't use protection during sex.  Tiger puts covers
on his clubs, but not his driver.

Nineteen:
From: The Jay Leno Show on 1/7/2009 (S677b)
At Christmas, Tiger Woods hung mistletoe over his
wallet so he could kiss half his money good-bye.
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Subj:.....McCoy Political Cartoons
          By Glenn McCoy
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/3/2009
Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/gm/
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Subj:.....Rogers Political Cartoons
          By Rob Rogers
          From: Post-Gazette.com on 12/4/2009
Source: http://www.post-gazette.com/robrogers/
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj: SNL Tiger Woods Skit: Elin Gets Revenge
      by Free Britney 
      From: TheHollywoodGossip.com
      on 12/7/2009 (S671)

Photo from PopEater.com
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Source: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/12
......../snl-tiger-woods-skit-elin-gets-revenge/

The way Tiger Woods and his many affairs dominated the news last week, you knew Saturday Night Live would go there in some way, shape or form.  The pleasant surprise?  It was actually pretty funny.

Appearing in press conferences on SNL's version of CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer, Tiger tried to vaguely apologize for his "transgressions."  But he only dug himself a deeper and deeper hole.

With Kenan Thompson doing his best Tiger and beautiful Gossip Girl star Blake Lively a bit more convincing as the scorned Elin Woods, the SNL skit offered a new take on what went down between the golfer and his wife after his car accident ...
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Subj:.....Mike Peters Editorial (S665)
          By Mike Peters
          From: Grimmy.com on 12/11/2009
Source: http://www.grimmy.com/editorials.php
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:.....Doonesbury  Comic Strip (S672)
          By Garry Trudeau
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/16/2009
 
Drawing  from Doonesbury.com...
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Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/db/
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Click 'HERE' to read Doonesbury Comic Strip about
Tiger Woods' mistresses.
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:.....Woods Family Christmas Card
          From: tom
..........on 12/18/2009 (S672)
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Click 'HERE' to see the Woods family Christmas card.
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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From: auntiegah and ginafm on 12/17/2009

When you're on top of the world you have a long way to
fall when you fall and everyone takes a shot at you on
the way down to the bottom!! 
 
 
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:.....Tiger's New Broadway Musical (S675)
          From: sfo_pilot on 12/23/2009
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:.....Tiger Woods Scandal Cost Shareholders
..........Up To $12 Billion
          From: Reuters.com on 12/29/2009 (S676b)
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Source:
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5BS38I20091229?type=sportsNews
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MIAMI (Reuters) - The sex scandal that engulfed Tiger Woods may have cost shareholders of companies endorsed by the world's No. 1 golfer up to $12 billion in losses, according to a study by two economics professors from the University of California, Davis.

Click 'HERE' to read this fascinating fallout from the scandal.
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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(S675b in Golf-supp)
     by John Graziano
     From: Comics.com on 1/7/2010
 Source: http://www.comics.com/comics/ripleys/index.html
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 Click on the button below

for this amazing, true story

  of Tiger Wood's wealth.
 

.... ...
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 Even Ripley's is jumping on the "Talk about Tiger bandwagon."
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:.....Tiger Woods Re-Enactment GIF Animation (S678b)
          From: FailLOL.com on 1/10/2010
 Source: http://www.faillol.com/tiger-woods-re-enactment-gif-animation/
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:.....Tiger's Transgressions (S681b)
          Created by: Dominic A. Tocci
          From: ginafm on 1/31/2010
 
Drawing  from TocciOnLine.com...
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Source: http://www.atom.com/fun_games/tiger_woods_defense/?xrs=cpc_gorilla
 
 
Nine ho's of golfing fun.  Help Tiger keep his
extramarital affairs out of the news.  Knock
each mistress out with a well timed drive before
she reaches the news van.
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Click on the above source to play this fun game.
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:     Two Woodpeckers Argue (S521b, S690 in Trees)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/10/2007
      and From: tom on 4/8/2010

 An Hawaiian woodpecker and a California woodpecker were
 arguing about which place had the toughest trees.  The
 Hawaiian woodpecker said Hawaii had a tree that no
 woodpecker could peck.  The California woodpecker accepted
 his challenge, and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with
 no problem.

 The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.  The California wood-
 pecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecker to peck a
 tree in California that was absolutely unpeckable.  The
 Hawaii woodpecker expressed confidence he could do it, so
 accepted the challenge.  After flying to California, the
 Hawaii woodpecker successfully pecked the tree with no
 problem.

 The two woodpeckers were now confused.  How is it that
 the Californian woodpecker was able to peck the Hawaiian
 tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker was able to peck the
 Californian tree, but neither one was able to peck the
 tree in their own state?  After much woodpecker-pondering,
 they both came to the same conclusion.  Apparently, Tiger
 Woods was right, when he said, your pecker gets harder
 when you're away from home.
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Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
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Subj:.....Non Sequitur Cartoon (S692)
          By Wiley Miller
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 4/24/2010
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 Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/nq/

 Click 'HERE' to see this modern, talking from cartoon.
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