Subj: Jesus Jokes
(Includes 34 jokes and articles, 27772,5,cf)
Jesus Jigsaw
from
Some New Light Shed
| >>>
Subj: Jesus Jokes (Includes 34 jokes and articles, 27772,5,cf) |
|
Jesus Jigsaw from Some New Light Shed |
Also see ARTIST file - 'Man
And His Son Collected Art'
BIRD-PARROT - 'Parrot
Named Moses And The Burglar'
CARS-SUPP - 'Boy
Wants To Drive The Family Car'
CHRISTMAS1 - 'Christmas
Mistake'
COMPUTERS3 - 'Jesus
And Satan Have Programming Contest'
.........GOD1
file - 'God Quotation'
GOD2 file - 'God's Affair'
GOLF2 file - 'Jesus
And Moses Play Golf'
......................-
'Jesus,
Moses And An Old Man Play Golf'
JEWISH1 file - 'Jewish
Boy In Public School'
JUDGE file - 'Nativity
In Washington DC'
MOVIES-SUPP2 - 'I
Love Jesus, But I Drink A Little'
MARRIAGE6 - 'Mother-In-Law
Dies In Jerusalem'
PREACHER file- 'Drunk
Is Ready To For Jesus'
PREGNANT file- 'Mother
Angry, Daughter Pregnant'
REDNECK3 - 'Jesus
Sitting At The Bar'
SCHOOL2 file - 'Jesus
Taught The Deciples'
============================================================Top
Subj: What
Would Jesus Drive (S233, DU)
From: mbucher on 7/19/2001
Giving WWJD New Meaning:
Most people assume WWJD is for
"What would Jesus do?" But
the initials really stand for
"What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would
tool around in an old
Plymouth because "the Bible
says God drove Adam and Eve
out of the Garden of Eden in
a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty
clearly owns a Pontiac and
a Geo. The passage urges
the Lord to "pursue your enemies
with your Tempest and terrify
them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup
trucks, because Moses'
followers are warned not to
go up a mountain "until the
Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus
drove a Honda but didn't
like to talk about it.
As proof, they cite a verse in
St. John's gospel where Christ
tells the crowd, "For I
did not speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old
British motorcycle, as
evidenced by a Bible passage
declaring that "the roar
of Moses' Triumph is heard in
the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports
car with a hole in its
muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was
heard throughout the
land."
And, following the Master's lead,
the Apostles car
pooled in a Honda ....."The
Apostles were in one
Accord."!!!!
\\\//
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Subj: Face
Of Jesus (S203, DU)
From: pns on 12/22/2000
In 1555, Nostradamus wrote:
Come the millennium, month 12
In the home of greatest power,
The village idiot will come
forth
To be acclaimed the leader
======================
Santa Fe family sees face of
Jesus in fireplace log
By
VERONICA GONZALEZ and SARAH VAN COTT
The
New Mexican12/21/2000
Donna Magallanes had returned
from her kitchen a week ago
when she realized a picture
of Christ hanging above the
fireplace in her living room
had miraculously transferred
itself to a log nearby.
"I went to the kitchen, and the
picture of Jesus was on the
wood," Magallanes said.
The log now contains an outline
of what the 36-year-old
Magallanes believes is Jesus'
hair, eyes, beard and mustache.
It is a darker brown than the
rest of the log.
Magallanes said it appeared as
if someone had thrown water
on the picture of the Last Supper,
which was hanging over
her fireplace. She said her
boyfriend threw the picture away.
"It's a blessing that (God is)
telling me something," said
Magallanes, the mother of three.
"I believe that he's helping
me out because everything has
been going really well."
"Nothing like this has ever happened
to us," said Tanya
Houston, Magallanes' 40-year-old
sister, who is keeping the
log at her house. "I figure
this is just a sign from God, and
maybe all our worries will stop."
Magallanes gave the log, which
is about 2 feet long, to her
sister after the Rev. John A.
Flaska Jr., pastor of St. John
the Baptist Catholic Church,
blessed it.
Flaska said he blessed the log
because he thought it contained
something the family believed
was the sacred face of Jesus.
"If they were going to believe
it to be the sacred face and ...
would be inspired by that,"
Flaska said, "I blessed it."
Houston said a smooth part of
the log was the "Valley" - the
Valle Vista public housing where
she lives. Houston said she
could also make out an image
of Jesus on a crucifix and angels.
Houston said her family has had
a lot of problems. She said
her sister has lost some of
her memory because a boyfriend in
California almost beat her to
death several months ago.
"This guy beat me up really bad,"
Magallanes said, "and I came
back. It's just something different.
"Donna is the light of our family
except she is the only one
that doesn't know it," Houston
said.
Houston, who said she had trouble
seeing the image at first,
placed it atop a white shelf
that holds her videotapes. Several
figures of angels, which she
collects, are nearby.
"This is gonna make my Christmas," Houston said.
Paul Schacknow, MD, PhD
Ophthalmologist
Palm Beach Gardens, FL
\\\//
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Subj: Honk
If You Love Jesus (S162, DU)
From: KMacinty on 3/10/00
I got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes...
The other day I went up to a
local Christian bookstore and
saw a "honk if you love Jesus"
bumper sticker. I was feeling
particularly sassy that day
because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance,
followed by a thunderous prayer
meeting, so I bought the sticker
and put it on my bumper. Boy,
I'm glad I did! What an
uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light
at a busy intersection, just lost
in thought about the Lord and
how good He is... and I didn't
notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone
else loves Jesus because if
he hadn't honked, I'd never have
noticed! I found that
LOTS of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the
guy behind started honking like
crazy, and then he leaned out
of his window and screamed, "For
the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus
Christ, GO!" What an exuberant
cheerleader he was for
Jesus! Everyone started honking! I
just leaned out of my window
and started waving and smiling at
all these loving people. I even
honked my horn a few times to
share in the love! There
must have been a man from Florida
back there because I heard him
yelling something about a "sunny
beach"... I saw another guy
waving in a funny way with only his
middle finger stuck up in the
air. I asked my teenage grandson
in the back seat what that meant,
he said that it was probably
a Hawaiian good luck sign or
something. Well, I've never met
anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned
out the window and gave him
the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing ....
he was enjoying this religious
experience, too!
A couple of the people were so
caught up in the joy of the
moment that they got out of
their cars and started walking
towards me. I bet they
wanted to pray or ask what church I
attended, but this is when I
noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters
and brothers grinning, and
drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only
car that got through the intersection
before the light changed
again and I felt kind of sad
that I had to leave them after
all the love we had shared,
so I slowed the car down, leaned
out of the window and gave them
all the Hawaiian good luck
sign one last time as I drove
away. Praise the Lord for such
wonderful folks!
Grandma
\\\//
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Subj: Last
Supper In Sand (S412)
From: Anonymous Junior on 12/19/04
At: http://www.arttribe.com/humor.html
 |
\\\//
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Subj: Three
Proofs Jesus Was ... (S151, S588c)
From: icohen on 12/20/1999
and
From: woneye on 6/8/2003
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH
He
went into his father's business.
He
lived at home until he was 33.
He
was sure his mother was a virgin, and
his Mother was sure he was God.
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH
He
never got married.
He
was always telling stories.
He
loved the green pastures.
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO
RICAN
His
first name was Jesus.
He
was bilingual.
He
was always being harassed by authorities.
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN
He
talked with his hands.
He
had wine with every meal.
He
worked in the building trades.
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK
He
called everybody "brother".
He
liked Gospel.
He
couldn't get a fair trial.
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN
He
never cut his hair.
He
walked around barefoot.
He
started a new religion.
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A
WOMAN
He
had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice
when there was no food.
He
kept trying to get the message across to
a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
Even
when he was dead he had to get up because
there was more work to do.
\\\//
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Subj: Proof
that Elvis was Jesus (S287b, DU)
From: RFSlick on 7/30/2002
Proofs that Elvis was Jesus in a previous life...
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor."
(Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel."
(RCA, 1956)
Jesus is the Lord's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis' first band was a trio.
Jesus walked on water. (Matthew
14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii,
Paramount, 1965)
Jesus' entourage, the Apostles,
had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis
Mafia, had 12 members.
Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback"
TV special.
Jesus said, "If any man thirst,
let him come unto me,
and drink."(John7:37)
Elvis said, "Drinks on me!"
(Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)
Jesus fasted for 40 days and
nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits.
(e.g. 5 banana splits
for breakfast)
Jesus is a Capricorn. (December
25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January
8)
Matthew was one of Jesus' many
biographers. (The Gospel
According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis'
many biographers.
(Elvis: A Golden
Tribute)
"[Jesus] countenance was like
lightning, and his raiment
white as snow."
(Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits
with lightening bolts.
Jesus lived in state of grace
in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in
a nearly eastern state.
Mary, an important woman in Jesus'
life, had an
Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman
in Elvis' life, went to
Immaculate Conception
High School.
Jesus was first and foremost
the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun
Studios, which today are
still considered
to be his foremost recordings.
Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.
Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter,
and moved around quite a bit.
Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favorite high school
class was wood shop.
Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair
styler.
Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.
No one knows what the "H" in
"Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis'
middle name was "Aron"
or "Aaron".
Jesus said: "Man shall not live
by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with
peanut butter and bananas.
It makes you wonder doesn't it...???
\\\//
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Subj: Anderson
Nails (DU)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #179 on 98-07-18
A small factory in the northwest,
Anderson Nails, had been
experiencing years of success
and growth. Feeling that he
was ready to try for the big
time, the owner (Anderson, of
course) contracted a big Madison
Avenue agency to help him
promote his product.
Aiming to get the greatest possible
exposure, the agency
booked a full minute at the
beginning of the Super Bowl
halftime show. Anderson
was pretty excited about this,
and invited all of his friends
and relatives to his home
for a big Super Bowl party.
At the end of the first half,
everybody drew closer to the
TV, wanting to see the premiere
of the commercial. It
began with an arial shot of
the desert, and zoomed in on a
small walled city. As
the camera slowly panned about the
city, it became apparent that
this was Jerusalem, during
the Roman occupation.
A large hill on the horizon came
into view, and as the camera
drew closer, a number of
crosses became visible.
The focus settled on a naked man
in a crown of thorns, then moved
in for an extreme closeup
of his bleeding hands, and the
nails which held them to the
cross. The nails were
stamped with the Anderson Nails logo.
A subtitle appeared on the screen,
bearing the words
"Anderson Nails--the Expert's
Choice".
Anderson's guests were horrified.
The party broke up before
the end of the game. The
next day, he began to get phone
calls from his oldest and most
loyal customers, expressing
their outrage and cancelling
their orders. By the end of
the week, his sales were down
to nothing.
He called the president of the
advertising agency to cancel
his contract. When Anderson
explained the situation, the
ad-man was surprised, and offered
to run a new campaign at
no charge.
The new campaign was slated to
start in a few weeks time
(not too long before Easter,
as it turned out). This time,
Anderson nervously watched the
commercial alone in the
privacy of his office.
It began the same way as before,
with an arial view of
Jerusalem. The camera
finally settled on two Roman
soldiers drinking wine at a
table near the marketplace.
Hearing a disturbance nearby,
they look up from their
drinks in time to see a naked
man, with bleeding hands
and feet, being pursued by a
group of soldiers. The
first soldier looks at his companion,
smiles knowingly,
and says "they didn't use Anderson
nails!"
\\\//
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Subj: Need
Help? Call Jesus (S772)
From: sam.hutkins on 10/27/2011
As I was driving home this week
worrying about all the
crap going on in Washington
and how my life was falling
apart, I saw a yard sign that
said:
.
 |
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
\\\//
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Subj: Comparing
Jesus And Elvis: (S78, DU)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #179 on 98-07-18
Jesus said: "Love thy neighbor."
(Matthew 22:39)
Elvis said: "Don't be cruel."
(RCA, 1956)
Jesus is the Lords's shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
Jesus was part of the Trinity.
Elvis' first band was a trio.
Jesus walked on water. (Matthew
14:25)
Elvis surfed. (Blue Hawaii,
Paramount, 1965)
Jesus' entourage, the Apostles,
had 12 members.
Elvis' entourage, the Memphis
Mafia, had 12 members.
Jesus was resurrected.
Elvis had the famous 1968 "comeback"
TV special.
Jesus said, "If any man thirst,
let him come unto me,
and drink." (John
7:37)
Elvis said, "Drinks on me!"
(Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)
Jesus fasted for 40 days and
nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits.
(e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)
Jesus is a Capricorn. (December
25)
Elvis is a Capricorn. (January
8)
Matthew was one of Jesus' many
biographers.
(The Gospel
According to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of Elvis'
many biographers.
(Elvis: A
Golden Tribute)
"[Jesus'] clothes became a dazzling
white" (Mark 9:3 NIV)
Elvis' snow-white jumpsuits
dazzled audiences.
Jesus lived in state of grace
in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in
a nearly eastern state.
Mary, an important woman in Jesus'
life,
had an Immaculate
Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman
in Elvis' life, went
to Immaculate Conception
High School.
Jesus was first and foremost
the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun
Studios, which today are
still considered
to be his foremost recordings.
Jesus was the lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.
Jesus' Father is everywhere.
Elvis' father was a drifter,
and moved around quite a bit.
Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis' favorite high school
class was wood shop.
Jesus wore a crown of thorns.
Elvis wore Royal Crown hair
styler.
Jesus H. Christ has 12 letters.
Elvis Presley has 12 letters.
No one knows what the "H" in
"Jesus H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if Elvis'
middle name was
"Aron" or "Aaron".
Jesus said: "Man shall not live
by bread alone."
Elvis liked his sandwiches with
peanut butter and bananas.
\\\//
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Subj: Jesus
And The Woman Who Was To Be Stoned (S73, S588)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 6/14/98
Jesus was walking by the square,
when he saw a woman tied
up in the middle of a crowd.
"What is going on?" he asked.
"This woman is a prostitute,
and we shall stone her!" Jesus
replied, "he who is without
sin: let him throw the first
stone!" and everyone slowly
walked away, untill one middle
aged woman was left. She
hefted a heavy brick, and let fly,
hitting the prostitute on the
ehad and killing her. Jesus
turned to her in exasperation
and said, "Sometimes you
really piss me off, mom..."
\\\//
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Subj: Jesus
On The Cross (S31, S588b)
From: Patricia Duvalle (twenty years ago)
Jesus is on the cross.
He looks down at the crowd and
spotting Peter he calls out
"Peter, Peter." Hearing his
master's voice, Peter pushes
his way through crowd. The
last one between Peter and his
lord is a centurion guard.
He tries to push his was past
the guard. The centurion
stabs Peter in the side with
his spear and thrown him back
into the crowd.
Jesus again looks out into the
crowd. He spots Peter on
the ground bleeding and calls
out "Peter, Peter." Hearing
his master's voice, Peter grabs
his side to stop the
bleeding, stands up and pushes
his way through the crowd.
He comes face to face with the
centurion who stabs him in
the other side and tosses him
back in the crowd.
Jesus looks down on Peter and
again says "Peter, Peter."
Peter grabs both sides to stop
the bleeding, but can not
stand up. He crawled through
the crowd and between the
legs of the centurion.
Looking up at his master, Peter
replied "I am here my Lord.
I have answered your call."
Jesus looked down at Peter and
then up into the sunset.
Looking back down at Peter,
Christ said "I can see your
house from here."
\\\//
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Subj: Jesus
Substitutes For St. Peter (S18, S588b)
From: Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97
The time has come for St. Peter's
annual three week
vacation, and Jesus volunteers
to fill in for him at the
Pearly Gates. "It's no
big deal," St. Peter explains.
"Sit at the registration desk
and ask each person a
little about his or her life.
Next send them on to
housekeeping to pick up their
wings."
On the third day, Jesus looks
up to see a bewildered old
man standing in front of him.
"I'm a simple carpenter,"
says the man, "and once I had
a son. He was born in a
very special way and was unlike
anyone else in this
world. He went through
a great transformation even
though he had holes in his hands
and feet. He was taken
from me a long time ago, but
his spirit lives on forever.
All over the world, people tell
his story."
By this time Jesus is standing
with his arms outstretched.
There are tears in his eyes,
and he embraces the old man.
"Father," he cries out, "it's
been so long!"
The old man squints, stares for
a moment, and says,
"Pinocchio!!!"
\\\//
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| Subj:
Kids Asked 'Where Is Jesus?' (S163, S634b)
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97 and From: Gmahered on 3/12/00 |
 |
Little
Johnny
from Yahoo! Images |
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers
was concerned that
his students might be a little
confused about Jesus Christ
because of the Christmas season
emphasis on His birth. He
wanted to make sure they understood
that the birth of Jesus
occurred a long time ago, that
He grew up, etc.
The teacher asked his class,
"Where is Jesus today?" Steven
raised his hand and said, "He's
in heaven." Mary was called
on and answered, "He's in my
heart." Little Johnny, waving
his hand furiously, blurted
out, "I know! I know! He's in our
bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet,
looked at the teacher, and
waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss
for a few very long seconds.
He finally gathered his wits
and asked Little Johnny how
he knew this. Little Johnny said,
"Well...every morning, my father
gets up, bangs on the bathroom
door, and yells, 'Jesus Christ,
are you still in there?'!"
\\\//
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Subj: Who
Was Jesus? (S93)
From: humorlist-digest V1 #187 on 97-08-30
and
From: auntieg on 98-11-10
Three proofs that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into his Father's
business.
2. He lived at home until
the age of 33.
3. He was sure that his
Mother was a virgin,
and his Mother
was sure that he was God.
Three proofs that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady
job.
3. His last request was
for a drink.
Three proofs that Jesus was Puerto
Rican:
1. His first name was
Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble
with the law.
3. His Mother did not
know who his Father was.
Three proofs that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his
hands.
2. He had wine with every
meal.
3. He worked in the building
trades.
Three proofs that Jesus was black:
1. He called everybody
brother.
2. He had no permanent
address.
3. Nobody would hire him.
Three proofs that Jesus was Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He invented a new religion.
Three proofs that Jesus was a
Democrat:
1. He forgave everybody's
sins.
2. He defended prostitutes.
3. He recruited the poor.
Three proofs that Jesus was a
Republican:
1. He urged people to
pay taxes. ("render unto Caesar...)
2. He walked on water.
3. He caused the Church
to become the wealthiest
institution
in the world.
Three proofs that Jesus was NOT
a physician:
1. He made the blind to
see.
2. He made the lame to
walk.
3. He made the sick be
well.
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Jesus Jokes
 |
Subj:
The Digital Story Of The Nativity (S725)
From: Judith B. Tata on Facebook on 12/18/2010 |
Top
Subj: Jesus
Bumper Sticker (S487b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/21/2006
Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A19960419
 |
| Subj:
Jesus's Picture (S462)
From: darrell94590 on 11/30/2005 |
 |
Top
Subj: Why
They Took Jesus To Jerusalem (S435b)
From: dmswitzer1325 on 5/27/2005
A Sunday School teacher asked
her class why Joseph and Mary
took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied:
"They couldn't get a baby sitter."
Top
Subj: Casting
The First Stone (S234)
From: Aussie Jed's Tasteless Jokes Archive Index
at http://axis.jeack.com.au/~jed/indexjed.htm
Jesus was out walking one day,
when he came across a stoning.
Jesus looked at the crowd and
then said: "Those amongst you
who have no sin shall throw
the first stone." A man at the
back of the crowd yelled: "Jesus,
you always want to go first!"
Top
Subj: Casting
The First Stone II (S403b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/28/2004
Jesus was standing on a hill
talking to his people. "He
who hath not sinned, cast the
first stone." Just then a
stone came flying from the back
of the crowd and hit him
hard on the head. "Ouch,
Mom! I hate when you do that!"
Top
Subj: Women's
Prayer (S162)
From: RFSlick on 3/10/00
Dear Lord...
So far today, I am doing alright.
I have not gossiped, lost
my temper, been greedy, grumpy,
nasty, selfish or self indu-
lgent. I have not whined,
bitched, cursed, or eaten any
chocolate. I have not
charged to my credit card.
However, I am going to get out
of bed in a few minutes, and
I will need a lot more help
after that.
Amen
Top
Subj: Jesus
Gets A Room (S179)
From: humorlist-digest V2 on 98-07-18
Jesus is going through the countryside,
very tired from the whole
resurrection thing (crucifiction
can be soooooo tiring!).
He comes to an inn and puts three
nails on the counter and says to
the innkeeper: "Can you
put me up for the night?"
If Jesus was Jewish, why does he have a Mexican name?
From: RFSlick on 98-01-22
The three wise men arrived to
visit the child lying in the manger.
One of the wise men was exceptionally
tall, and bumped his head on the low
doorway as he entered the stable.
"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.
Joseph whispered, "Write that
down, Mary.
It's better than Clyde!"
Jesus is coming, everyone look
busy.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #284 on 99-02-06
I've found Jesus. He was behind
the sofa the whole time.
Q: How can you tell that Jesus
was Jewish?
A: He lived at home until he
was thirty, worked for his dad
and his mother
thaught he was god.
Q: Why wasn't Christ born in
Italy?
A: They couldn't find three
wise men and a virgin.
Q: What is left on the plate
after a cannibal eats the Son of God?
A: Jesus Crust.
Q: What did Jesus say before
he fell on his face?
A: Get away from here you damn
beavers!
From: humorlist-digest V2 #179 on 98-07-18
Q: What's the difference between
Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
A: It only takes one nail to
hang up the picture.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M?M's?
A: Because they keep falling
through the holes in his hands!
From: jcary on 99-01-18 (S104)
Q: What happened to Jesus when
he went to Mount Olive?
A: Popeye kicked the shit out
of him
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