..
>>>
Subj:     Female Breast Jokes
                 (Includes 57 jokes and articles, 29 1924n,18,no ads,wYT4,8)
 
 

          Click "Here" for Breast-Supp


Peeking Tom
from
Buckmaester's Index
.
Includes the following:  Female Jogger w/Bouncing Boobs - Video (S951 in Supp)
.........................Louis CK - On Tits - Video (S908 in Supp)
.........................Groovin Granny singing 'Do your boobs hang low?' (S948-Sup)
.........................Homemade Breast Implants - Video (S778 in Supp)
.........................Apple's iTit (S604b)
.........................How To Put On A Bra - Video (S667 in Supp)
.........................Woman Smothers Boyfriend w/Breasts (S836 in Supp)
.........................Rodney Carrington - Show Them To Me - Video (S552 in Supp)
.........................The Boob Poem About Mammograms (S228 in Supp)
.........................Show Them To Me - Celebrity Version - Video (S730 in Supp)
.........................The Perfect Breasts (S536 in Supp)
.........................Loren's Trick Boobies - Video (S663b in Supp)
.........................Breast Implant Saves Israeli's Life (S501b in Supp)
.........................Where Are My Fries? - Video (S662b in Supp)
.........................Mamomogram Nightmare (S434, S694a in Supp)
.........................Sara X Does Mozart - Video (S945 in Supp)
.........................
.........................Male Hypnotic Tools With Close-Ups (S392, S457)
.........................Seven Advantages Of Breast Milk (S129b, S850)
.........................Boobs Vs. Willies (S333, S700b)
.........................Animated GIF #1 (DU)
.........................Hardening Of The Nipples (S321b, S617c)
.........................Old Man And Girl On Beach (S311)
.........................Animated GIF #2 (DU)
.........................Ahmed Obsessed By Queen's Breasts (S220b)
.........................Milk Of Kindness (S164)
.........................Animated GIF #3 (DU)
.........................Man Admires Neighbor's Wife's Breasts (S158)
.........................Chris Pays $100 To See Nora's Breasts (S07, S368)
.........................Wife Peek-A-Boo! - Video (S743)
.........................Got Milk? (S129b)
.........................Women With Big Tits...(S402)
.........................Women With Little Tits...(S402)
.........................Animated GIF #4 (DU)
.........................:-)  (?>)(?>) (-: (S77, S367)
.........................Four Types of Bras (S154, S354)
.........................Animated GIF #5 (DU)
.........................Finding The Right Girl (S233)
.........................Mammogram (S216)
                         Short Breast Jokes
..............................Tell Your Boobs - Sign (S821 in Supp)
..............................Having A Mamogram (S615b in Supp)
..............................Staring At Breasts Is Healthy II (S558 in Supp)
..............................Explaining Breast-Feeding To A Child (S612b in Supp)
..............................Implants Last Forever (S544b in Supp)
..............................Special Annoncement From Apple (S604b in Supp)
..............................Hooter's Gal ... (S509b in Supp)
..............................Boobs, Butt, Or Shoulder (S491 in Supp)
..............................Boobs, Butt, Or Shoulder 2 (S796 in Supp)
..............................Breast Test (S476 in Supp)
..............................
..............................Cute T-Shirt (S469b)
..............................New Bra Invented In Texas (S349b)
..............................Show Me Your Tits (S468b)
..............................Curing Infertility In India (S323b)
..............................Getting A Tan On The Beach (S435b)
..............................Metal-Free Bras (S259b)
..............................Staring At Breasts Is Healthy (S435)
..............................Survey (S247)
..............................The Vissor Slut Machine - Game (S432)
..............................Speech By Candidate (S251b)
..............................Guess What Cup Size???? (S431)
..............................Three Babies Poem (S431b)
..............................Bra Size Explained (S428b)
..............................Bra Sizes: (S384b)
..............................Boob Cursor... (S383)
..............................Janet Jackson's Wardrobe Malfunction (S366)
..............................Husband Buys Bra For Wife (S116)

Also see AMAZING file - 'Twenty Seven Body Painting Photos'
         ASIAN file   - 'Tongue Twister'
         BARBER file  - 'Little Girl Goes To The Barber'
         BARBIE file  - 'Playboy Sells Dolls'
         BODY PARTS   - 'Two Women Discuss Cosmetic Surgery'
         CAMEL file   - 'A Nun, A Priest And A Dead Camel'
         CARS3 file   - 'Airbag For Men'
         CARS-SUPP2   - 'Nissan Pathfinder Commercial'
         Catholic     - 'Woman Tries To Attend Mass Without Head Cover'
         CHRISTMAS-SUP- 'Sara X Does Jingle Boobs' - Video
         COLLEGE1 file- 'School Letters'
         COMPUTER-SUPP- 'Mouse Pad For Men'
         COWBOY2 file - 'Cowboy Poetry - Women's Underwear'
         DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Flashing Your Breasts'
......................- 'Eating A Pastie'
         DATING3 file - 'Cathy's Incredible Breasts - Mrs Brown's Boys' - Video
         DOCTOR1 file - 'Doctor And The Voluptuous Woman'
......................- 'Doctor, Buxom Lass And The Baby'
         DOCTOR2 file - 'Woman Has Face Lift'
         DRINKINGBEER1- 'Beer Temperature Tester'
         EDEN file    - 'If God Made Eve First'
         ELDERLY1-SUPP- 'Couples 50th Anniversary'
         ELDERLY2 file- 'A Phone Call To Grandpa' - Video
         HOSPITAL2    - 'True Hospital Stories'
         IRISH1 file  - 'Kelly And Riley Get In A Fight'
         JOBS3 file   - 'Woman Returns Toaster'
         KIDS5 file   - 'Losing Your Grand Kids In The Mall'
         KNIGHT file  - 'Obsessed w/Queen's Breasts'
         MARRIAGE1    - 'Tits And Toilet Paper'
         MARRIAGE3    - 'Picking A Wife'
         MARRIAGE5    - 'Doctor Examines Wifes Breasts'
         MARRIAGE6    - 'Husband And Wife Complain'
         MEN3 file    - 'Ten Things Men Know For Sure About WOMEN'
         MEN4 file    - 'Men's Life Cycle'
         MOTHERS file - 'Why Mom's Can't Do Yoga' - Video
         NUDIST file  - 'Playboy Playmate Hunter'
         PENIS1 file  - 'Soft Breasts And Hard Dicks'
         PENIS2 file  - 'Self-Examination'
......................- 'Magic Mirror And The Penis'
.........PHYSICS2 file- 'Another of Einstein's Theories'
.........PHYSICS3 file- 'Sinusoidal Vs Harmonic Motion'
.........PRIEST3 file - 'Three Priests Buy Train Tickets'
         SHIP file    - 'John's Boat'
.........SWEDISH file - 'Danish Speed Control' - Video
.........TESTS-SUPP   - 'Concentration Test For Men'
.........WAITER file  - 'Lady Asks Waiter To Hold Her Breast'
.........WOMEN1 file  - 'Sunbathing'

============================================================Top
Subj: Male Hypnotic Tools With Close-Ups (S392, S457)
.......From: JokesUncut on 7/29/2004
...and From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/26/2005

 The sources of ezines4all.com 
............and pages.globetrotter.net have closed.

..

 Click 'HERE' for close-up
 Click 'HERE' for close-up
 Click 'HERE' for close-up
 Click 'HERE' for close-up
.
 Click 'HERE' for NEW close-up
.
.
Top
Subj:     Seven Advantages Of Breast Milk (S129b, S850)
          From: KMACINTY on 7/10/2003
      and From: lubin100 on 4/1/2013

 Mother's Milk......

 Students in an advanced biology class were taking a mid term.
 The last question was "Name seven advantages of mothers milk,"
 worth 70 points or none at all.  One student who had also
 partied the night before, was hard put to think of seven
 advantages.

 He finally wrote:

 1. It is a perfect formula for the child.
 2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
 3. It is always available as needed.
 4. It is always at the right temperature
 5. It is inexpensive
 6. It bonds the child to the mother, and vice versa.

 And then, the student was stuck. Finally, just before the
 bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote.......

 7. It comes in two attractive containers and it's high
    enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

Top
Subj:     Boobs Vs. Willies (S333, S700b)
          From: auntiegah on 6/16/2003
      and From: tom on 6/12/2010

 A family is at the dinner table.  The son asks his father,
 "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

 The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes
 through three phases.  In her twenties, a woman's boobs
 are like melons, round and firm.  In her thirties  to
 forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
 After fifty, they are like onions."

 "Onions?"

 "Yes, see them and they make you cry."

 This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter
 said, "Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

 The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a
 man also goes through three phases.  In his twenties, his
 willy is like an oak tree, mighty and firm.  In his thirties
 to forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.  After
 fifty, it is like a Christmas tree in January."

 "A Christmas tree?"

 "Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for
 decoration."

Top
Subj:     Animated GIF #1
          From: bill7808
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Top
Subj:     Hardening Of The Nipples (S321b, S617c)
          From: JokesUncut on 3/21/2003

 WATER DEPARTMENT

 RING!

 Southeast Treatment Plant, this is Dave...

 "Is this the water department?"

 Yes Ma'am, for most of this area...

 "Good. I have some very technical questions to ask you
 about the water"

 I'll try and help...

 "Why are my nipples getting so hard?"

 You're not really serious...

 "I AM SO!!  My nipples... they're hard and they have this
 white coating on them!"

 Uhhhh, huh... hard, uhhh, nipples with white, uhh... stuff...

 "Not only that, they're getting warped!"

 I see...

 "They used to be soft, pink and round!"

 I'm sure they were...

 "Now they really look disgusting!"

 I'm sure they do...

 "So I want to know what you're going to do about this!"

 I really don't think I can help you.  Have you discussed
 this with your personal physician?

 "Yes I have!  He said I should call you because he thought
 it was from the water!"

 I see... uhhhh, just why and how does he think the water
 is causing this?

 "He said cleaning them in boiling water sometimes does that."

 Sounds painful... can't you just sponge them off?

 "Painful?!  THE BABY BOTTLE NIPPLES ARE THE ONES I'M
 TALKING ABOUT!"

 Now I understand...

 "Are you going to buy me new ones?"

 Why would we do that?

 "Because your water ruined these.  My baby won't suck them
 anymore.  He's been sick and I think it's from the white
 stuff... he used to really suck..."

 May I ask how old your baby is?

 "He's six, going on seven"

 Six... and he refuses the bottle?  Maybe he's getting a
 little old for the bottle...

 "DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!"

 I wasn't. How long have you been using these nipples?

 "Since he was born"

 Hmmmmm.  My guess is the white film is from the calcium
 carbonate in the water... kind of like bathtub ring of
 the nipple... and they are hard and warped because of
 being boiled and bitten for six years...

 "So! You are refusing to pay!"

 Well, that's not for me to decide.  I was only trying to
 suggest they might just be plain worn out.

 "THEY WOULDN'T BE WORN OUT IF YOUR WATER WAS ANY GOOD!"

 There is really nothing more I can do for you...

 "JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY MONEY?"

 Well, why don't you just run down to our main office.
 There you can file an insurance claim...

 "What good would that do? Will they give me the money?"

 They will investigate and make a judgement whether to
 settle or not...

 "Well, you sure haven't been any help!  How do I get
 them to pay more attention than you have?"

 Just show them your nipples!!

Top
Subj:     Old Man And Girl On Beach (S311)
          From: thebartend on 1/17/2003

 An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful
 girl in a bikini -

 "I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed.

 "Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied.

 "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty
 dollars," he says.

 "Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"

 "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you ONE
 HUNDRED DOLLARS" he stated "NO! Get away from me!"

 "TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS" he offered.

 She paused to think about it, but then comes to her
 senses and said, "I said NO!"

 "FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your breasts,"
 he claimed.

 She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless
 enough...and $500 IS a lot of money.... "Well, OK...
 but only for a minute."

 She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing
 there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and
 began to feel... then he started saying, OH MY GOD...
 OH MY GOD...OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing them.

 Out of curiosity, she asked him, "Why do you keep saying,
 'Oh my god, oh my god'?"

 While continuing to feel her breasts he answered, "OH MY
 GOD...OH MY GOD.. OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD, where am I ever
 going to get five hundred dollars?

Top
Subj:     Animated GIF #2
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Top
Subj:     Ahmed Obsessed By Queen's Breasts (S220b)
          From: ICohen on 4/17/2001

 Ahmed, a high ranking official in King Akbar's court, had
 one longstanding obsession - to suck the queen's voluptuous
 breasts to his heart's desire.  Every time he passed the
 queen he would get frustrated in his lust.  He revealed his
 desire to Birbal one day and, knowing Birbal's legendary
 resourcefulness, begged him to help.  Birbal, after much
 thought, agreed to help Ahmad achieve his desire on the
 condition that Ahmed later pay him a 1000 gold coins. Ahmed
 agreed.

 The next day Birbal prepared a lotion which would cause
 severe itching for several hours.  With the help of a
 conspiring maid, it was poured into the queen's bra while
 she took her bath. Soon the itching began. By the afternoon
 it was unbearable.

 Birbal was summoned for help.  After consultations with
 doctors, Birbal advised the Emperor that a special saliva,
 if applied for several hours, could cure the condition.
 Birbal also added, of course, that such a saliva could
 only be found in Ahmed's mouth.

 Akbar summoned Ahmed.  For the next 4 hours Ahmed sucked
 the queen's breasts.  Licking, biting, pressing, playing,
 he got what he had always pined for.  By evening the itch
 was gone.  The king and the queen were most grateful for
 Birbal's advice.

 But Ahmed now refused to pay Birbal the 1000 gold coins,
 secure in the knowledge Birbal would never report the
 matter to the emperor since he himself was involved.  So
 the next day Birbal put a larger dose of the same lotion
 into the Emperor's underwear

Top
Subj:     Milk Of Kindness (S164)
          From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 03/23/2000

 Learning that he had a rare disease whose only cure was mother's
 milk, Mr. Shipman took out a personal ad looking for a nursing
 mother.  To his delight, he found a woman almost at once and,
 after agreeing on a price, he went up to her apartment.

 As it happened, Mr. Shipman had incredibly soft lips, and an
 active tongue, and after five minutes of nursing, the woman was
 almost beside herself with passion.

 "Is there anything else I can offer you?" she panted.

 Smiling impishly, Mr. Shipman responded, "If it's not too much
 trouble, do you happen to have any Oreos?"

Top
Subj:     Animated GIF #3
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.................
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Top
Subj:     Man Admires Neighbor's Wife's Breasts (S158)
          From: icohen on 02/07/2000

 One day this fellow noticed that a new couple had moved into
 the house next door.  He was also quick to notice that the woman
 liked to sunbathe in the backyard, usually in a skimpy bikini
 that showed off a magnificent pair of breasts.  He made it a
 point to water and trim his lawn as much as possible, hoping
 for yet another look.

 Finally, he could stand it no more. Walking to the front door
 of the new neighbor's house, he knocked and waited. The husband,
 a large, burly man, opened the door. "Excuse me", our man
 stammered, "but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful your wife
 is."

 "Yeah? So?" his hulking neighbor replied.

 "Well, in particular, I am really struck by how beautiful her
 breasts are.  I would gladly pay you ten thousand dollars if I
 could kiss those breasts."

 The burly gorilla is about to deck our poor guy when his wife
 appears and stops him.  She pulls him inside and they discuss
 the offer for a few moments.  Finally, they return and ask our
 friend to step inside.

 "OK," the husband says gruffly, "for ten thousand dollars you
 can kiss my wife's breasts."

 At this the wife unbuttons her blouse, and the twin objects of
 his desire are freed at last.  Our man takes one in each hand,
 and proceeds to rub his face against them in total ecstasy.
 This goes on for several minutes, until the husband gets annoyed.
 "Well, come on, kiss 'em!" he growls.

 "I can't," replies our awe-struck hero, still nuzzling.

 "Why not?" demands the husband, getting really angry by now.

 "I don't have ten thousand dollars..."

Top
Subj:     Chris Pays $100 To See Nora's Breasts (S07, S368)
          From: collins2 on 4/18/00
 (See 'Sees Something Under The Card Table' in GAMES
  and 'Work For Pay' in HOOKER2
..and 'Wife Peek-A-Boo!' below)

 A guy goes over to his buddy's house, rings the bell,
 but his buddy's wife answers.

 "Hi is Tony home?"
 "No he went to the store."
 "Well, you mind if I wait?"
 "No come in."

 They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have
 the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a
 hundred bucks if I could just see one."

 Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the
 hell,....  It's worth one hundred bucks.

 She opens her robe and shows one.  He promptly thanks her
 and throws 100 bucks on the table.  They sit there a while
 longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful.  I must see
 the both of them.  I'll give you another 100 bucks if I
 could just see the both of them together."

 Nora thinks about this and says what the hell, opens her
 robe and gives Chris a nice long look.  She feels bad for
 him, so she pushes her breasts into his face for a moment
 and she let's him have a few squeezes.

 Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table
 then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and he leaves.

 A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know
 your weird friend Chris came over."

 Tony thinks about this for a second and asks,
 "Well,... did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

Top
Subj:     Wife Peek-A-Boo! (S743d)
          From: Spike.com on 4/10/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/GTkfNfu_zyM
 Source2: http://www.spike.com/video-clips/6nmg93/funny-prnak
..........-of-wife-peek-a-boo-boysiq-funny-video-teen-movie

 A guy plays a dirty trick on his buddy's wife to see and
 feel her breasts.  Click 'HERE' to see this dirty, but
 very funny video.

Top
Subj:     Got Milk? (S129b)
          From: thebartend on 6/8/99

     Moved to 'Four Advantages Of Breast Milk' in this file.

Top
Subj:     Women With Big Tits... (S402)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #283 on 99-02-01

 ..can get a taxi on the worst days
 ..have a neat place to carry spare change
 ..have always been the center of the arts (art)
 ..make jogging a spectator sport
 ..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub
 ..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)
 ..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie
 ..can always carry a little extra
 ..always float better
 ..know where to look first for lost earrings
 ..rarely lack for a slow dance partner
 ..have a place to set their glasses when sitting
   in an armless recliner

Top
Subj:     Women With Little Tits... (S402)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #263 on 98-08-01

 ..don't cause a traffic accident every time
   they bend over in public
 ..always look younger
 ..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap
 ..can always see their toes and shoes
 ..can sleep on their stomachs
 ..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars
 ..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts
 ..know that everything more than a handful is wasted
 ..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle
 ..can take aerobic class without running the risk
      of knocking themselves out

Top
Subj:     Animated GIF #4
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Top
Subj:     :-)  (?>)(?>) (-: (S77, S367)
          From: auntieg on 98-07-18
      and From: Imogenelumen on 2/5/2004

 First, there were :) smiley emoticons.
 Then there were (_)(_) butt emoticons.
 Now, there are (.)(.) emoti-boobies!

      (.)(.)               Boobies

      ( . )( . )           Bigger Boobies

      ( O )( O )           Pamela Anderson-Lee boobies

      (,)(,)              Boobies with pierced nipples

      . .                  Very Little Boobies

      ( * )( * )           Implanted Boobies (very pert)

      (   ) (   )          Nursing Mom boobies
       (.)   (.)

      /\ /\                Madonna Boobies

      -?.>?.>-             Teeny Bikini Boobies

      --(.)(.)--           Regular Bikini Boobies

      ---( . )-( . )---    Mondo Bikini Boobies

      x x                  No boobies

      (/)(/)               Feminist Boobies

      ( + )( + )           Fake Silicone Breasts

      (@)(@)               Big Nipple Breasts

      o o                  A Cups

      (oYo)                Wonder Bra Breasts

      ( ^ )( ^ )           Cold Breasts

      (o)(O)               Lopsided Breasts

      (Q)(O)               Pierced Nipple Breasts

      (p)(p)               Hanging Tassels Breasts

       \ o /\ o /          Grandma's Breasts

      ( )( )               Against The Shower Door Breasts

      | o | | o |          Android Breasts

      ___ ___              Mammogram Breasts

Top
Subj:     Four Types of Bras (S154, S354)
          From: Anaise on 98-06-02
      and From: collins2 on 01/13/2000

 A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and
 shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,
 "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

 "What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

 "Type?" inquired the man. "There is more than one type?"

 "Look Around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of
 bras in every shape, size color and material. "Actually,
 even with all of this variety, there are really only four
 types of bras," replied the sales clerk.

 Confused, the man asked what were the types. The saleslady
 replied "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, the
 Presbyterian type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you
 need?"

 Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between
 them?"

 The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple:
 The Catholic type supports the masses,
 the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen,
 the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright,
 and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

Top
Subj:     Animated GIF #5
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Top
Subj:     Finding the Right Girl (S233)
          From: Octagon999 on 98-03-28
      and From: ICohen on 7/17/2001

 When I was in junior high school, all I wanted was a girl
 with large breasts.

 In high school, I dated a girl with large breasts, but
 there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate
 girl.

 In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too
 emotional.  Everything was an emergency, she cried all
 the time.  So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

 I found a very stable girl, but she was boring.  She never
 got excited about anything.  So I decided I needed a girl
 with some excitement.

 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
 She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on
 anything.  She was without direction.  So I decided to
 find a girl with some ambition.

 After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her.
 She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything
 I owned.

 Now all I want is a girl with large breasts.

Top
Subj:     Mammogram (S216)
          From: KMACINTY on 3/16/2001

 As a physician, I thought I would pass this helpful hint to
 all my women friends.  If this ends up in a guy's mailbox,
 please give to your wife.

 Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there
 is no need to worry.  By taking a few minutes each day for
 a week preceding the exam and doing the following practice
 exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and
 best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises in
 your home.

 EXERCISE 1:

 Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between
 the door and the main box.  Have one of your strongest
 friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on
 the door for good measure.

 Hold that position for five seconds.  Repeat again in case
 the first time wasn't effective enough.

 EXERCISE 2:

 Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement
 floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie
 comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the
 rear tire of the car.  Ask a friend to slowly back the car
 up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
 Turn over and repeat for the other breast.

 EXERCISE 3:

 Freeze two metal bookends overnight.  Strip to the waist.
 Invite a stranger into the room.  Press the bookends against
 one of your breasts.

 Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.  Set an
 appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it
 again. You are now properly prepared.

 For those dear men out there who would like to empathize,
 but have no foundational knowledge to base that empathy on.
 Squeeze both testicles in to ONE ice cube receptacle in an
 ice cube tray.  Women everywhere will thank you. Of course,
 you will need to see a physician immediately there after.


Subj:     Short Breast Jokes

Top
Subj:     Cute T-Shirt (S469b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/12/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute t-shirt by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     New Bra Invented In Texas (S349b)
          From: RFSlick on 10/5/2003
 A scientist from Texas A?M University has invented a bra
 that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the
 nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather
 sets in.

 At a news conference announcing the invention, the scientist
 was taken outside by a large group of cowboys who kicked the
 shit out of him.
 

Top
Subj:     Show Me Your Tits (S468b)
          From: jbcary1
          on 1/6/2006 (in Breats-Pics)
 You can view this cute cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Curing Infertility In India (S323b)
          From: jerry on 4/8/2003
 Bonehead award one goes to hundreds of women in Parkal in
 Andhra Pradesh, India, who made regular visits to a man,
 a self-proclaimed swami, who told them that because he is
 blessed by the Hindu god Lord Shiva that he can cure their
 infertility by visiting him twice weekly and letting him
 massage their breasts.

 From a purely male perspective, you understand, he may
 have indeed been blessed.  At least until his arrest for
 cheating and outraging the modesty of women.

 Ananova (UK) 8-Apr-03
 

Top
Subj:     Getting A Tan On The Beach (S435b)
          From: darrell94590
          on 5/27/2005 (in Breast-Pics)
 You can view the cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Metal-Free Bras (S259b)
          From: jerry on 10/22/2001
 Triumph International, a Japanese bra manufacturer,
 announced the launching of metal-free bras, dubbed by
 some news sources as the "frequent flyer bra,'  meant
 for women who often fly and whose conventional bra
 with metal fasteners set off airport metal detectors
 under today's tightened airport security.

 Kyodo News (Japan) 19-Oct-01
 

Top
Subj:     Staring At Breasts Is Healthy (S435)
          From: darrell94590
          on 5/25/2005 (in Breast-Pics)
 To view this interesting health article click 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Survey (S247)
          From: mombear1 on 10/23/2001

 WARNING!!!!

 Please send this to everyone you know!!

 If a man comes to your front door and says he is
 conducting a survey and he asks you to show him
 your boobs...

 DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS!

 This is a scam, and he is only trying to SEE YOUR
 BOOBS.  I wish I had heard about this before yesterday.
 I feel so stupid.
 

Top
Subj:     The Vissor Slut Machine (S432d)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/6/2005
 Source: (Removed from vissor.com)
 By properly using 'Hold' and 'Nudge' when they appear, I
 was able to take my winnings in this Slot Machine game up
 to $6490.  You can play it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Speech By Candidate (S251b)
          From: jerry on 11/19/2001
 Claire Sargent, a failed Arizona senatorial candidate:
 "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts.
 After all, we've been voting for boobs long enough."
 

Top
Subj:     Guess What Cup Size???? (S431) 
          From: LABLaughsAdult
          on 4/29/2005 (in Breast-Pics)
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 Very funny set of two pictures. It's worth a trip to the
 internet.  This kid's gonna hate his MOM for this some day!
 You can view the pictures by clicking 'HERE'?
 

Top
Subj:     Three Babies Poem (S431b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult20050426
          on 4/26/2005
 There once was a young girl who begat
 Three small babies named Ned, Pat and Tat.
 It was fun in the breeding
 But hell in the feeding
 When she found there was no Tit for Tat.
 

Top
Subj:     Bra Size Explained (S428b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/8/2005
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 The set of pictures titled Bra Sizes Explained can
 be seen by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Bra Sizes: (S384b)
          From: Imogenelumen on 6/6 7:01
 "Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and
 H are the letters used to define bra sizes?  If you have
 wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters
 stood for, it is about time you became informed!"
 {A}........Almost Boobs...
 {B}........Barely there.
 {C}........Can't Complain!
 {D}........Dang!
 {DD}.......Double Dang!
 {E}........Enormous!
 {F}........Fake.
 {G}........Get a  Reduction.
 {H}........Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up
 

Top
Subj:     Boob Cursor... (S383)
          From: mrx on 5/15/2004
 (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 

Top
Subj:     Janet Jackson's Wardrobe Malfunction (S366)
          From: CKButch4Femme
..........on 2/3/2004 (in yyPictures/Breast2)
 The incident occurred at half time of Super Bowl XXXVIII
 on February 1, 2004.  If you wish to view it click 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Husband Buys Bra For Wife (S116)
          From: scott_pryor on 4/18/99
 A man walks into the woman's section of a department store
 and tells the sales clerk he wants to buy a bra for his wife.

 "What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

 "Type?" inquires the man, "there's more than one type?"

 "There are three types." replies the clerk, "The Catholic
 type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which
 one do you need?"

 Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference in them?"

 The clerk responds, "It is really very easy. The Catholic type
 supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen
 and  the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."
 

From: humorlist-digest V2 #218 on 98-09-15
 When I see something as tender as a mother holding a baby to
 her breast, I think to myself, "Man, I wish that damn baby
 would get out of the way."

From: collins2 on 99-02-13
 *You know it's going to be a bad day when:
 You put your bra on backwards and it fits better*

From: RFSlick on 8/25/2001 (S239)
 In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the
 Wonder Bra.  Is that really a problem in this country -
 men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?
   -- Hugh Grant

From: a jpg by Deb Lein on 01/25/02 (S260 in Thoughts-Warm-Pics)
and From: vaterbenicia@sbcglobal.net on 5/21/2006 (S487b)
 A good friend is like a good bra... Hard to find,
 supportive, comfortable, and always close to your heart.
 Click 'HERE' to see this as a JPG picture.
 

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #224 on 98-01-22
 Q: Why do men like big tits and tight pussy?
 A: Because they've got big mouths and little dicks.

From: BREWONETO on 98-02-16
 Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
 A: Put a nipple on it.

From: BawdyNet Test Message on 98-02-28
 Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples for?
 A: They are Braille for "suck here".

 Q: Why do women have tits ?
 A: So men will talk to them.

From: RFSlick on 98-04-10
 Q: What do you call bees that make milk?
 A: Boo-bees.

From: Tom_Adams on 98-05-08
 Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets
    for Christmas?
 A: Because they were originally made for children
    but the father always wants to play with them.

From: Tom_Adams on (S68)
 Q: How are women and rocks alike?
 A: You skip the flat ones.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #267 on 98-08-21
 Q: What's the shortest distance between two points?
 A: A tight blouse.

From: auntieg on 98-10-10
 Q: What is a zebra?
 A: 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/24/2004 (S399b)
 Q: What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
 A:  Silicon Valley.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/28/2005 (S425b)
 Q: What do you call boobs on a girl scout?
 A: Brownie points

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...............................From Smiliemania.da.