.
.
>>>
Subj:     Penis-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 28 jokes, 16 1070n,20,no ads + L,wXT6a,16)

Old Penis from
Animated Gifs Maniac
Includes the following:  Where's Dildo - Drawing (S785)
.........................84 Year Old STUNS Americas Got Talent - Video (S912)
.........................Sun Burned Dick (S29)
.........................Willie Nelson Quotation And Photo (S597c)
.........................50 Inch Long Penis (S307b)
.........................Perrier Commercial - Video (S642b)
.........................The Teacher And The Penis (S24)
.........................Skeleton Of An Ancient Man - Video (S563c)
.........................US Medical School Entrance Exam (S836)
.........................36 Hours Cialis Commercial - Video (S593b)
.........................Dennis Miller On Reaching Puberty (S634c)
.........................Dickens Cider - Audio (S604)
.........................Man Turned On By His Neighbor's Garage Door (S495)
.........................Emergency Medical Advice (S828)
.........................Holding My Penis (S603c)
.........................Dick Holding (S771)
.........................Short Penis Jokes
..............................Pickles Comic Strip (S823)
..............................Surprise Balloons 25 Cents - Drawings (S771)
..............................Life Is Like A Boner - Sign (S613c)
..............................Happy And Sad In The Same Sentence (S641c)
..............................Viagra Comic Strip (S598)
..............................No Masterbating Sign (S567b)
..............................Going Blind (S710)
..............................Picking Up Girls On The Beach - Cartoon (S566b)
..............................Teatime Love Bite - Newspaper Article (S540c)
..............................What A Bad Dream - Sunday Comic Strip (S539c)
..............................Blow Job - 4 Cartoons (S532c)
..............................Celebrity Dicks - Drawing (S481b)
..............................The Good Fairy And The Small Dick - Comic Strip (S596)

===========================================================Top
Subj:     Where's Dildo (S785)
          From: Marc Anderson on 1/30/2012
 Source: SunShineDayDream.biz
,
...............
.,
Top
Subj:     84 Year Old STUNS Americas Got Talent (S912d-Object)
          From: darrelldre on 7/3/2014
Photo from Google.com
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/_cyIxkFLjWI
 Source2: http://sfglobe.com/?id=1336&src=home_feed

 84 Year Old Ray Jessel STUNS The Audience with a song he
 wrote on Americas Got Talent.  When Ray walked out on the
 stage, people had no idea what to expect from the 84-year-
 old singer/songwriter, but what they got was wilder than
 they could have even imagined.  Click 'HERE' to listen to
 Ray's funny, dirty song.

Top
Subj:     Sun Burned Dick (S29)
          From: sking on 97-08-17

 A certain young man finally won a date with the blonde
 female of somewhat questionable morals that lived in his
 apartment complex.  To prepare for his big date, the young
 man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in
 order to tan himself.  Not wanting any tan lines to show,
 he sunbathed in the nude.

 Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof,
 and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade".
 But the young man was determined not to miss his date, so
 he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.

 The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and
 the young man treated her to a homecooked dinner, after
 which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
 During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn
 started acting up again.  He asked to be excused, went
 into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk.

 He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and
 experienced immediate relief of his pain.  The blonde,
 however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the
 kitchen to see him with his johnson immersed in a glass
 of milk.

 Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that's how
 you guys load those things!"

Top
From: tom on 6/26/2008 (S597c)
 
 
 Whether or not you are a country fan, this is
 truly the work of a deep thinker, and highly
 intelligent person.  So simple, yet so profound.
 Words of wisdom from that famous philosopher, 
 Willie Nelson, on his 75th birthday:
    'I have outlived my dick.'
.

Top
Subj:     50 Inch Long Penis (S307b)
          From: ipkis on 97-07-02

 A man with a 50 inch long penis goes to his doctor to
 complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex
 with him.  They all tell me that my penis is too long.

 "Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there any
 way you can shorten it?" The doctor replied, "Medically
 son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch
 who may be able to help you."

 The man calls upon the witch and relays his story.  "Witch,
 my penis is 50 inches long and I can't get any women to
 have sex with me.  Can you help me shorten it?"  The witch
 asked him to "Pull it out and let me look at it."  The man
 uncoils his 50 inch penis.  The witch stares in amazement,
 scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I have a
 solution to your problem.  What you have to do is go to
 this pond deep in the forest.  In the pond you will see a
 frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma.
 First you must ask the frog, will you marry me?  Each time
 the frog declines your proposal, your penis will be ten
 inches shorter."

 The man's face lit up and he dashed off into the forest.
 He came upon the pond and sure enough, there sat this frog
 on a log.  He called out to the frog, "will you marry me?"
 The frog looked at him dejectedly and replied, "NO".  The
 man looked down and suddenly his penis was 10 inches shorter.
 "WOW," he screamed out loud, "This is great!! But it's still
 too long at 40 inches, so I'll ask the frog to marry me
 again."

 "Frog, will you marry me?," the guy shouted.  The frog
 rolled its eyes back in its head and screamed back, "NO!"
 The man felt another twitch in his penis, looked down, and
 it was another 10 inches shorter.  The man laughed, "This is
 fantastic."

 He looked down at his penis again, 30 inches long, and
 reflected for a moment.  Thirty inches is still a monster,
 just a little less would be ideal.  So, I'll ask the frog to
 marry me one more time.  Grinning, he looked across the pond
 and yelled out, "Frog will you marry me?"

 The frog looked back across pond shaking its head, "NO....
 NO..........and for the last time..........NO."

Top
Subj:     Perrier Commercial (S642b,d-On Site)
          From: darrellvip on 4/24/2009
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/cylWFggm6dw

 Click 'HERE' to see this provocative commercial.

Top
Subj:     The Teacher And The Penis (S24)
          From: ipkis on 97-07-09

 One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she
 noticed that someone had written the word 'PENIS' (in tiny
 letters) on the blackboard.  She scanned the class looking
 for a guilty face.  Finding none, she rubbed the word off
 and began class.

 The next day, the word 'PENIS' was written on the board
 again; this time it was written about halfway across the
 board.  Again she looked around in vain for the culprit,
 so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

 Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom
 and found the same disgusting word written on the board,
 each day's being larger than the previous one, and each
 being rubbed off vigorously.

 At the end of the second week, she walked in expecting to
 be greeted by the same word on the board but instead found
 the words: "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

Top
Subj:     Skeleton Of An Ancient Man (S563c)
          From: darrellvip in 2007 (d-On Site)
 At: www.youtube.com/embed/CHNW04Q1i18

 You can watch this very funny video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     US Medical School Entrance Exam (S836)
          From: kgilmour2000 on 1/15/2013

 When I was young I wanted to go to medical school,
 but I didn't pass the entrance exam. One of the
 questions was "Rearrange the letters  P N E S I
 to spell out an important part of human body that
 is more useful when erect."

 Those who spelled SPINE became Doctors... The rest
 ended up in Congress !

Top
Subj:     36 Hours Cialis Commercial (S593b,d-On Site)
          From: tom on 6/2/2008
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/wrcvdyd1lRI

 You can watch this cute, dirty commercial oby clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Dennis Miller On Reaching Puberty (S634c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/3/2009
 Source: http://www.dead-frog.com/comedians/jokes/dennis_miller/

 I don't care what your hobby is before puberty hits, because
 as soon as it does, nature assigns you a new one. Let's just
 say that when I was 14 I was treated for tennis elbow, and I
 didn't even own a racquet. I wasn't exactly subtle about my
 self-discovery either. I had tiki torches all around my bed,
 a poster of Farrah Fawcett on my ceiling and a spring-loaded
 tissue dispenser on my nightstand while I worked my own
 crank like it was the gearshift on a Volkswagen bus that I
 was trying to rock out of a mud hole. Ah, the good old
 days--last Thursday.

Top
Subj:     Dickens Cider - Audio
          From: joych on 8/1/2008
..........(S604d-WAV audio file)

 You can listen to this cute, dirty WAV Audio by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Man Turned On By His Neighbor's Garage Door (S495)
          From: jerry on 7/19/2006

 A UK man claims that a penile implant, containing a remote
 control activated chip, that he had put in in Turkey to
 cure his impotence, is running on the same frequency as
 his neighbor's garage door opener and so every time his
 neighbor comes home both the neighbor's garage door and
 his willy raise up.

 It's not because he's happy to see his neighbor.

 "Every time his car pulls in, I can't leave the house.  It's
 not funny," says the man.

 No it's not funny.  You can poke someone's eye out with that
 thing.

 The Daily Record (Scotland) 18-Jul-06

Top
Subj:     Emergency Medical Advice (S828)
          From: AFine963 on 11/24/2012
.
I don't usually get an
erection lasting more
than four hours.

But when I do, I find
this quick remedy works
well!!

Click  and be safe,
my friends!

.
Top
Subj:     Holding My Penis (S603c)

 (also see 'Dick Holding' below)

 This couple got married as couples tended to do in the
 good old days, went on the honeymoon, had sex.  You know
 the story.  This couple had just had sex (sorry made love)
 on their honeymoon when the wife noticed that her new
 husband was holding his penis.

 "Why are you doing that" she asked.

 "I always hold my penis when I go to sleep" he replied.

 "How cute" she exclaimed, "May I hold it for you".

 "Sure" he agreed, and she did and they both fell asleep.

 As the years rolled by, the couple were very happy falling
 asleep together with her holder his penis.  Then one day
 he ups and leaves her for another woman.

 Well she's distraught.  What has she done?  Why did he
 leave?  Hadn't she always been a devoted, loving wife.
 What went wrong?

 She happens to discovers him having lunch with his new
 lover, a sick looking old women.  How could he leave her
 for this deasesed old hag. She desides to comfront them.
 Marches up and bangs the table to get their attention.
 "What has she got that I don't?" she demands.

 "Parkinsons desease" he replys.

Top
Subj:     Dick Holding (S771)
          From: Tom_Adams on 98-05-08
      and From: virv on 10/20/2011
 (also see 'Holding My Penis' above)

 An elderly man and woman met after both moved into a
 retirement home.  They got pretty friendly and really
 enjoyed each other's company.  After about three weeks,
 the man said, "I know we are both old and can't do much
 sexually anymore, but if I pulled out my penis, would
 you hold it?"

 The woman saw no harm in it, so she agreed.  Every day
 for the next month the couple would sit in the park by
 the lake and the old woman would hold the man's penis.

 One day the man didn't show up at their regular meeting
 place.  Concerned, the woman set out to search for him.
 She spotted him on a park bench farther down the shoreline
 with another woman beside him.  As she approached she saw
 that his penis was in the other woman's hand.

 Enraged and hurt, she said, "We have been together for two
 months and I thought we were getting along just fine.  Now
 I find you here with this other woman.  What does she have
 that I don't?"

 "Parkinson's," the old man said with a smile.


Subj:     Short Penis Jokes

Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip (S823)
          By Brian Crane on 10/8/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2012/10/08
 Click 'HERE'to see Pickles comic strip discuss our
 changing weather.

.
Top
Subj:     Surprise Balloons 25 Cents (S771)
          From Ruby Lou on 10/19/2011
 Source: (Removed from EverydayFunnyFunny)

 Click 'HERE'to see this funny, dirty cartoon.

.
.
Top
Subj:     Life Is Like A Boner (S613c)
          From: darrellvip on 10/8/2008
 You can see this cute, dirty drawing by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Happy And Sad In The Same Sentence (S641c)
          From: Philsam on 4/20/2009
 While watching psychology program on TV, a husband
 turned to his wife and said "I bet you can't make
 me happy and sad in the same sentence."
 His wife thought for about thirty seconds and said
 "You have a much bigger dick than all your friends."
 

Top
Subj:     Viagra Sunday Comic Strip (S598)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/30/08
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute, dirty comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     No Masterbating Sign (S567b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/29/2007
          Source: http://buffalosjokes.com/12002.htm
 You can view this cute, dirty sign by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Going Blind (S710)
          From: Phil at the Bridge Center on 8/23/2010
 A dad walks into his son's bedroom and catches him masturbating.
 He say "I've told you over and over that if you keep doing
 that you will go blind."
 The son replied "Dad, dad, I'm over here."
 

Top
Subj:     Picking Up Girls On The Beach (S566b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/26/2007
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute, dirty comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Teatime Love Bite (S540c, S1070)
          From: SCOTCOB on 5/16/2007
 Read why a husband and wife had to go to the hospital
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     What A Bad Dream (S539c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/23/07
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute, dirty comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Blow Job (S532c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/2/2007
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
  You can view this dirty, cute comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Celebrity Dicks (S481b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/6/06
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view these cute sketches by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     The Good Fairy And The Small Dick (S596 in Genie)
          From: rfslick on 6/19/2008
 You can view this cute, dirty comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
.
............................From Animated Gifs Maniac.
.