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>>>
Subj:     Shit Joke - Supplements
                 (Includes 11 jokes and articles, 24 1016,9,cf,wXT2a4,1)

Calvin in The Toilet
from
flovilla@Samlink.com
Includes the following:  Scottish Colonoscopy - Video (S646)
.........................The Hypnotist (S295, S536c)
.........................The 5-Second Rule! - Video (S555)
.........................Having An Accident At A Restaurant (S526b)
.........................Home Is Where... - Sign (S1019)
.........................Little Old Lady At Store
.........................Washington Crosses The Delaware (S242, S678b)
.........................Schitt Creek - Photo (S1012)
.........................The Official List of Shit (S123)
.........................More Official List Of Shit (S280)
.........................Short Shit Jokes
..............................Stool Sample (S772)
..............................Septic Tank Truck Signs (S732)
..............................The Acrobat - GIF (S600b)
..............................Shit And Two (S1003)
..............................Crappy Monday - Video (S578c)
..............................The Poop Song - Vide0 (S576c)
============================================================Top
Subj:     Scottish Colonoscopy (S646d in Scottish)
          From: rfslick on 5/22/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/l1enmyAmpik
.(See 'The Colon-Rectal Surgeon Song' in Doctor1
..and 'How To Enjoy A Colonoscopy' in Hospital1)
.
..........
.
..........Billy Connolly describing the prep for a
..........colonoscopy. Click 'HERE' to see the funniest
..........thing ever. It's middle school type humor,
..........but very funny.

Top
Subj:     The Hypnotist (S295, S536c)
          From: gheckman on 2/19/2002
      and From: darrell94590 on 4/24/2007

 It was opening night at the Orpheum and The Amazing Claude
 was topping the bill.  People came from miles around to
 see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

 As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most
 stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto
 the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize
 each and every member of this audience."

 The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a
 beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat.

 I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
 It's a very special watch.  It's been in my family for
 six generations.  He began to swing the watch gently back
 and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch,
 watch the watch, watch the watch...."

 The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and
 forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.  Hundreds
 of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until
 suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell
 to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

 "Shit!" said the hypnotist.

 It took three weeks to clean up the theatre.

Top
Subj:     The 5-Second Rule! (S555d in Food-Supp)
          From: darrellvip on 9/8/2007
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/jFxWJFfdFCs

 This is one of Ameriquest's cute "Maybe It Is Not What
 It Looks Like" commercials.  You can view this cute
 video by clicking 'Here'.

Top
Subj:     Having An Accident At A Restaurant (S526b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/1/2007

 Funniest damn thing that has ever happened to me.  A couple
 of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse
 for dinner.  It was a Wednesday night which means that
 macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night
 of the week that it is served.

 Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with
 Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining
 them.

 It may seem that the events about to be told have little
 connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear
 in a moment.

 We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-
 you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the
 front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the
 density of kids down a bit.  Then I started my move to the
 hot bar. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were
 consumed that evening, I tell you -- in all, four heaping
 plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into
 my belly.  I was sated.

 Perhaps bit too much, however.  I had not really been
 feeling well all day, whatwith a bit of gas and such.  By
 the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I
 was in real trouble.

 There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was
 having trouble breathing.

 At the same time, the downward pressure was building.
 At first, I thought it was only gas which could have
 been passed in batches right at the table without to
 much concern.

 Unfortunately, that was not to be.

 After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing
 with explosive diarrhea. It's amazing how grease can
 make its way through your intestines far faster than
 the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I
 digress...

 I got up from the table and made my way to the bathroom.
 Upon entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the
 door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and
 two toilet stalls against the back wall.

 One of them was a handicapped bathroom.  Now, normally I
 would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to
 stretch out a bit when I take a good shit, but in this
 case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate
 worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails
 with a pair of diagonal wire cutters is having someone
 walk in on me while I am taking a shit.

 I went to the normal stall.

 In retrospect, I probably should have gone to the large,
 handicapped stall even though the door would not lock
 because that bit of time lost in making the stall switch
 proved to be a bit too long under the circumstances.  By
 the time I had walked into the regular stall, the pressure
 on my ass was reaching Biblical proportions.

 I began "The Move."

 For those women who may be reading this, let me take a
 moment to explain "The Move."

 Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given
 second.  And when the time comes to empty the cache, a
 sequence of physiological events occur that can not be
 stopped under any circumstances.  There is a move men
 make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet,
 beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said
 toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and
 pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the
 same time.

 It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly,
 results in the flawless expulsion of shit at the exact
 same second that ones ass is properly placed on the
 toilet seat.  Done properly, it even assures that the
 choad is properly inserted into the frontrim of the
 toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose
 at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination
 rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer.

 I was about half-way into "The Move" when I looked down
 at the floor and saw a pile of vomit that had been
 previously expelled by one of those little bastards
 attending kids night; it was mounded up in the corner
 so I did not notice it when I had first walked into
 the stall.

 Normally, I would not have been bothered by such a
 thing, but I had eaten so much and the pressure upward
 was so intense, that I hit a rarely experienced gag
 reflex.  And once that reflex started, combined with
 the intense pressure upward caused by the bloated stomach,
 four plates of macaroni and beef started coming up for a
 rematch.

 What happened next was so quick that the exact sequence
 of events are a bit fuzzy, but I will try to reconstruct
 them as best I can.

 In that moment of impending projectile vomiting, my
 attention was diverted from the goings-on at the other end.

 To put a freeze frame on the situation, I was half crotched
 down to the toilet, pants pulled down to my knees, with a
 load of vomit coming up my esophagus.  Now, most of you
 know that vomiting takes precedence over shit no matter
 what is about to come slamming out of your ass.  It is
 apparently an evolutionary thing since shitting will not
 kill you, but vomiting takes a presence of mind to
 accomplish so that you do not aspirate any food into the
 bronchial tubes and perhaps choke to death.  My attention
 was thus diverted.

 At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can
 only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper
 headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of
 Typhoon Fifi" or something similar.  In what seemed to
 be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous
 plug of shit the consistency of thick mud with embedded
 pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But
 remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that
 moment.

 The shit wave was of such force and of just such an
 angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat
 that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed
 into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle
 at which it initially hit the toilet seat.

 Then I sat down.

 Recall that when that event occurred, I was already half-
 way to sitting anyway and had actually reached the point
 of no return.  I have always considered myself as
 relatively stable gravitationally, but when you get
 beyond a certain point, you're going down no matter how
 limber you may be. Needless to say, the shit wave, though
 of considerable force, was not so sufficient so as to
 completely glance off the toilet seat and deposit itself
 on the walls, unlike what you would see when hitting a
 puddle with a high-pressure water hose; even though you
 throw water at the puddle, the puddle gets moved and no
 water is left to re-form a puddle.  There was a
 significant amount of shit remaining on about one-third
 of the seat rim which I had now just collapsed upon.

 Now, back to the vomit...

 While all the shitting was going on, the vomit was still
 on its way up.  By the time I had actually collapsed on
 the toilet, my mouth had filled up with a goodly portion
 of the macaroni and beef I had just consumed.

 OK, so what does the human body instinctively do when
 vomiting?

 One bends over.  So I bent over.  I was still sitting
 on the toilet, though.

 Therefore, bending over resulted in me placing my head
 above my now slightly-opened legs, positioned in between
 my knees and waist.  Also directly above my pants which
 were now pulled down to a point just midway between my
 knees and my ankles.  Oh, did I mention that I was
 wearing not just pants, but sweat pants with elastic on
 the ankles?

 In one mighty push, some three pounds of macaroni and
 beef, two or three Cokes, and a couple of Big, Fat Yeast
 Rolls were deposited in my pants...on the inside...
 with no ready exit at the bottom down by my feet.

 In the next several seconds, there were a handful of
 farts, a couple of turds, and the event ended, yet I
 was now sitting there with my pants full of vomit, my
 back covered in shit that had bounced off the toilet,
 spattered on three ceramic-tiled walls to a height
 of about five feet, and still had enough force to come
 back at me, covering the back of my shirt with droplets
 of liquid shit.  All while thick shit was spread all
 over my ass in a ring curiously in the shape of a toilet
 seat.

 And there was no fucking toilet paper.

 What could I do but laugh.  I must have sounded like a
 complete maniac to the guy who then wandered into the
 bathroom.  He actually asked if I was OK since I was
 laughing so hard I must have sounded like I was crying
 hysterically. I calmed down just enough to ask him if
 he would get the manager.  And told him to have the
 manager bring some toilet paper.

 When the manager walked in, he brought the toilet paper
 with him, but in no way was prepared for what happened
 next.  I simply told him that there was no way I was
 going to explain what was happening in the stall, but
 that I needed several wet towels and I needed him to go
 ask my wife to come help me. I told him where we were
 sitting and he left.

 At that point, I think he was probably assuming that I
 had pissed just a bit in my pants or something similarly
 benign.

 About two minutes later, my wife came into the bathroom
 not knowing what was wrong and with a certain amount
 of worry in her voice.  I explained to her (still
 laughing and having trouble getting out words) that I
 had a slight accident and needed her help.  Knowing that
 I had experienced some close calls in the past, she
 probably assumed that I had laid down a small turd or
 something and just needed to being the car around so we
 could bolt immediately.

 Until I asked her, I'm sure she had no idea that she was
 about to go across the street and purchase me new under-
 wear, new socks, new pants, a new shirt, and (by that
 time due to considerable leakage around the elastic
 ankles thingies) new sneakers.

 And she then started to laugh herself since I was still
 laughing.  She began to ask for an explanation as to
 what had happened when I promised her that I would tell
 her later, but that I just needed to handle damage
 control for the time being.

 She left.

 The manager then came back in with a half-dozen wet
 towels and a few dry ones.  I asked him to also bring
 a mop and bucket upon which he assured me that they would
 clean up anything that needed to be cleaned.

 Without giving him specific details, I explained that
 what was going on in that stall that night was far in
 excess of what I would expect anyone to deal with, what
 with most of the folks working at Ryan's making minimum
 wage of just slightly above.

 At that moment, I think it dawned on him exactly the
 gravity of the situation.  Then that manager went so far
 above the call of duty that I will be eternally grateful
 for his actions.  He hooked up a hose.

 Fortunately, commercial bathrooms are constructed with
 tile walls and tile floors and have a drain in the middle
 of the room in order to make clean up easy.  Fortunately,
 I was in a commercial bathroom.

 He hooked up the hose to the spigot located under the
 sink as I began cleaning myself up with the wet towels.
 Just as I was finishing, my wife got back with the new
 clothes and passed them into the stall, whereupon I
 stuffed the previously worn clothing into the plastic
 bag that came from the store, handing the bag to my
 wife. I finished cleaning myself off and carefully put
 on my new clothes, still stuck in the stall since I
 figured that it would be in bad taste to go out of the
 stall to get redressed in the event I happened to be
 standing there naked and some little bastard kid walked
 in.  At that point, I had only made a mess; I had not
 yet committed a felony and intended to keep it that way.

 When I finished getting dressed, I picked up the hose
 and cleaned up the entire stall, washing down the remains
 toward the drain in the center of the room.  I put down
 the hose and walked out of the bathroom.  I had intended
 to go to the manager and thank him for all he had done,
 but when I walked out, three of the management staff
 were there to greet me with a standing ovation.  I
 started laughing so hard that I thought I was going to
 throw up again, but managed to scurry out to the car
 where my wife was now waiting to pick me up by the
 front door.

 The upshot of all this is that I strongly recommend
 eating dinner at Ryan's Steak House.  They have, by
 far, the nicest management staff of any restaurant in
 which I have eaten.

Top
Subj:     Home Is Where... - Sign (S1019)
          From: De Ann Pomelow on 7/24/2016
 Source: https://img0.etsystatic.com/105/0l
.........11841166/il_570xN.876130408_dsc7.jpg
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.......
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Top
Subj:     Little Old Lady At Store
          From: RFSlick on 2/21/00
 
 
 

 The Little Old Lady........

                   (___)
                  /'   '\
                 /   /"\ \
                 \_/o o\_/
                  (  _  )
                  '\   /'
                 /\\V//\
               / /_ _ \ \
                \ \_ _ / /
                 \/    \/
                 ||    ||
                 ||    ||
                 ||__ _||
                 |_____|
                   |||
                  / Y \

  A little old lady went to the grocery store and
  put the most expensive cat food in her basket.
  She then went to the check out counter
  where she told the check out girl:  "Nothing but
  the best for my little kitten."

  The girl at the cash register said: "I'm sorry, but
  we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you
  have a cat.  A lot of old people buy cat food to eat,
  and the management wants proof that
  you are buying the cat food for your cat."

  The little old lady went home, picked up her cat
  and brought it back to the store.

                  ,----.... /\~~ /\
                 (         (  o;o }
                  \     ) _  '~-~ \
                   \,,,/,,/ \,,,/,/

  They sold her  the cat food.

  The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought
  of  the most expensive dog cookies, one for each day
  of Christmas.  The cashier this time demanded proof
  that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes
  eat dog food.  Frustrated she went home, came back
  and brought in her dog.

                           __----___
                          /##|       \
                         /###|     |  \___ O
                        |####|            \
                       |####|            |
                         \####/     _____/
                           \###    /
                            =======
                            /      \
                          |   |_    \
                           \___/      |
                            \         /
                            _|    |_ |__

  She was then given the dog cookies.

  The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the
  lid.  The little old lady asked the cashier to stick
  her finger in the hole.

  The cashier said:  "No, you might have a snake in there."

  The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in
  the box that would bite her.  So the cashier put her finger
  into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady:

  "That smells like crap."

  The little old lady grinned from ear to ear:
  "Now, my dear,  can I please buy three rolls of
  toilet paper?"
 
 

  Never fool around with a Little old lady:

                                 (___)
                                /'   '\
                               /   /"\ \
                               \_/o o\_/
                                (  _  )
                                 '\ /'
                                /\\V//\
                               / /_  _\ \
                               \ \_ _/ /
                                \/     \/
                                ||     ||
                                ||     ||
                                ||_ _ _||
                                |_____|
                                   |||
                                 / Y \

Top
Subj:     Washington Crosses The Delaware (S242, S678b)
          From: darrell94590 on 1/19/2007
      and From: ft.apache on 1/10/2010

 You know how people are always wondering how certain phrases
 came into being,  like "Don't shoot till you see the whites
 of their eyes" and "Remember the Alamo"  and so on.

 A lot of people asked me where the saying "You gotta be
 shittin me" came from. It so happens I know.

 It originated through the Father of our Country way back
 when, George Washington was crossing the Delaware River
 with his troops.  There were 33 [remember this number] packed
 into in Washington's boat.  It was extremely dark and storming
 furiously.  The water was tossing them back and forth.  Finally
 Washington grabbed Corporal Peters [remember this name] and
 stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.  He
 ordered him to keep swinging it so they could see where they
 were heading.

 Corporal Peters stood up braving the wind and driving rain,
 swinging the lantern back and forth.  A while later a big
 gust of wind hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern
 into the Delaware.  Washington and his troops searched for
 hours trying to find Corporal Peters but to no avail.  All
 of them felt terrible for the Corporal had been one of
 their favorites.

 An hour later Washington and his troops landed on the other
 side, wet and totally exhausted.  He rallied the troops and
 told them they must go on.

 An hour later Washington and his men could go no further.
 They trudged towards the lights and came upon a huge house
 there in the woods.

 What they didn't know was this was a house of ill repute
 hidden in the forest to serve all who came.

 General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding
 around him.  The door swung open and the madam looked out
 to see Washington and all his men standing there.  A huge
 smile came across her face to see so many men standing
 there.

 Washington spoke up, "Mam, I'm General George Washington
 and we're tired and exhausted and desperately need warmth
 and comfort for a while."

 Again the Madam looked at all the men standing there and
 with a broad smile on her face said, "Well General, you
 have come to the right place.  We can surely give you
 warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?"

 Washington said "Well mam, there are thirty-two of us
 without Peters."

 Madam said, "You gotta be shittin me !"

Top
Subj:     Schitt Creek (S1012)
          From: Jane Seaman Hernandez on 5/18/2016
 Source: http://m.memepile.com/photo?id=4245
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.......
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Top
Subj:     The Official List Of Shit (S123)
          From: RFSlick on 5/31/99

 Ghost Shit:  The kind where you feel shit come out but there
              is no shit in the toilet.
 Clean Shit:  The kind where you shit it out, see it, but
              there is nothing on the toilet paper.
 Wet Shit:    The kind where you wipe your butt at least 90
              times and it feels unwiped so you have to put
              some toilet paper between your butt and your
             underwear so you won't ruin your pants.
 Second Wave Shit:  It happens when you're done shitting and
              you've pulled your pants up to your knees and
              you realize you have to shit some more.
 Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Head Shit: The kind where you strain so
              much to get the shit out you practically have
              a stroke.
 Richard Simmons Shit:  You shit so much you lose 30 pounds.
 Lincoln Log Shit:  The kind of shit that is so huge that you
              are afraid to flush the toilet without breaking
              it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
 Gassy Shit:  It's noisy; everyone within earshot is giggling.
 Drinker Shit:  The kind of shit you have the morning after a
              long night of drinking.  It's most noticeable
              trait is the tread marks on the bottom of the
              toilet.
 Corn Shit:   Self-explanatory.
 Gee I Wish I Could Shit Shit:  It's the kind where you want
              to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet,
              cramped, and fart a few times.
 Spinal Tap Shit:  That's where it hurts so bad coming out
              you'd swear it was leaving sideways.
 Wet Cheeks Shit (The Power Dump):  The kind that comes out
              of your rear end so fast, your cheeks get
             splashed with water.
 Liquid Shit:  The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots
              out and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
 Mexican Food Shit:  It smells so bad the room must be condemned.
 Upperclass Shit:  The kind that think their shit doesn't smell.
 Fisherman's Bobber Shit:  That's the kind where you are in
              a public restroom, there are two people waiting
              on your stall; you shit and flush two times but
              several golf ball size pieces are still floating
              above the water line.
 Ambush Shit: This kind never occurs at home but usually at a
              party or while playing golf.  It is the result of
              trying to fart just a little, but you end up with
              trouser chili and you walk bow-legged for the
              rest of the day.
.
Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009
.
Top
Subj:     More Official List Of Shit (S280)
          From: dogbyte on 6/20/2002

 LINCOLN LOG SHIT
    The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to
    flush it down without first breaking it up into little
    pieces with the toilet brush.

 WET CHEEKS SHIT
    Also known as the "Power Dump".  That's the kind that
    comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks
    get splashed with the toilet water.

 CROWD PLEASER SHIT
    This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance
    that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

 CRACK FLAPPER SHIT
    This shit seems to create its own weather system.
    Your butt cheeks feel like they're flapping in the
    wind when this shit comes out.

 MOOD ENHANCER SHIT
    This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation,
    thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

 "ON THE CLOCK" SHIT
    This is any shit that you take while you are punched in
    at work.  Lunch hour and coffee break shits do not qualify.

 "BEST NICKEL I EVER SPENT" SHIT
    This is any shit that you take in a "pay" bathroom.
    Thankfully, there aren't too many of these left.  If
    you're ever in a Mexican border town, be sure to try one!

 RITUAL SHIT
    This shit occurs at the same time each day and is
    accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

 GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS SHIT
    A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for
    future generations.

 AFTERSHOCK SHIT
    This shit has an odor so powerful than anyone entering
    the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.

 "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT
    This is any shit created in the presence of another person.

 THE GROANER
    A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

 THE FLOATER
    Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been
    known to resurface after many flushings.

 THE RANGER
    A shit which refuses to let go.  It is usually necessary
    to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite
    often the only solution is to push it away with a small
    piece of toilet paper.

 PHANTOM SHIT
    This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will
    admit to putting it there.

 PEEK-A-BOO SHIT
    Now you see it, now you don't.  This shit is playing
    games with you.  Requires patience and muscle control.

 THE BOMBSHELL
    A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that
    is either inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking
    or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.

 THE SNAKE CHARMER
    A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into
    a frightening position - usually harmless.

 THE OLYMPIC SHIT
    This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start
    of any competitive event in which you are entered and
    bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.

 BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT
    This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited
    either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger
    side of your car.

 PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN SHIT
    An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster,
    often a gift from God when you actually CAN'T shit.

 PREMEDITATED SHIT
    Laxative induced.  Doesn't count.

 SHITZOPHERENIA
    Fear of shitting - can be fatal!

 ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SHIT
    Also known as a "Still Going" shit.

 THE ROCKET SHIT
    The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your
    pants down when you're done.

 THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT
    This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet
    and it overflows all over the floor. (You should
    have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.)

 THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE" SHIT
    Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits.
    The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy
    beer can.  Vacuous air space remains in the rectum
    for some time afterwards.

 THE PORRIDGE SHIT
    The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just
    keeps on coming.  You have two choices: (a) flush
    and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your
    butt while you sit there helpless.

 THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT
    When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates
    the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.

 THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT
    When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look
    like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they
    hit the water.

 THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT
    Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump.  Of
    course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom
    odour.  Instead, you stand innocently near the door
    and enjoy the show as they run out gaggin and gasping
    for air.

 THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE" SHIT
    Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the
    last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's
    going to smear all over the place.

 THE "OSAMA BIN LADEN" SHIT
    This one is a major pain in the ass, but don't worry...
    it's not as tough as it claims to be.


Subj:     Short Shit Jokes

Top
Subj:     Stool Sample (S772 in Facebook)
          From: Dinah S. Davis-Johnson on 10/26/11
 Source: http://jammer5spolyrant.files.wordpress.
.........com/2011/04/stool-sample.jpg
 Click 'HERE' to see this photo of a stool sample.
 

Top
Subj:     Septic Tank Truck Signs (S732 in Truck)
          From: kgilmour2000 on 1/20/2011
Drawing from SepticTankCleaning.com
 These fifteen septic tank truck signs are very funny.
 They remind us that everyone must maintain a sense of
 humor about their work.  Click 'HERE' to view these
 photos.
 

Top
Subj:     The Acrobat (S600b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/8/2008
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This animated GIF is stupid, but cute.  You can see
 it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Shit And Two (S1003)
          From: Darrell on 4/5/2016
 Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.
.........php?term=Shit+and+two+make+eight!
 Walking out bridge, Darrell says "Come here I want to show
 you somethimg".  We walk over to his Toyota.  Darrell unlocks
 his car, pops the hood, and points to the hose on the air
 intake.  He said someone stole that hose last night about
 midnight.  Darrell had to have his car towed to the shop
 for $75 and a new hose installed for #125.
 I asked him if his car was parked in front of his home.
 Darrell said "Yep".
 I said "Shit".
 He said "And two makes eight".
 

Top
Subj:     Crappy Monday (S578c,d in Contractor)
          From: tom on 2/18/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/PSC8HQTFwqo
 This short video is funny, as long as it isn't you.
 Click 'HERE' to view it.
 

Top
Subj:     The Poop Song (S576c in Kids5)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/15/2008
 Source: http://www.toilette-humor.com/baby-song2.html
 These baby rappers sing about dirty diapers.  It is very
 cute.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/23/2008 (S622b)
 "DIAPER spelled backward is REPAID
    -- Think about it

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
.
.............................Smiley Looks from Millan.net.
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