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>>>
Subj:     Football-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 63 jokes and articles, 18 1027n,34,cf,trb5,wXT2a,31)
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Football Helmets from
Animated Cliparts
Includes the following:  The Novice Cartoon (DU)
.........................Michael Vick Experience - Nike Commercial (S889)
.........................Bad British NFL Commentary - Video (S889)
.........................Terry Bradshaw On Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson -Vid(S887)
.........................Norman Rockwell's "Fumble" Drawing (S819)
.........................Barry Switzer Visits Mariucci (S47)
.........................Inside The Control Room Of An NFL Game - Video (S884)
.........................I Am A Champion - The Greatest Speech Ever - Video (S783)
.........................Field of Dreams 2: Lockout - Video (S756)
.........................Final Football Play Of Trinity Vs. Millsaps - Video (S737)
.........................Wilson Football Factory - Video (S729)
.........................Lingerie Bowl - Videos (S672b)
.........................South Park-isms
.........................Football Like It Was - Video (S664, S820)
.........................NFL Fantasy Files: The Best Players - Video (S626b)
.........................Bob Nelson's Classic Football Routine - Video (S615b, S781)
.........................Oakland Raider Alert (S505)
.........................Plaxico Burress On Gun Safety - Video (S627)
.........................The Chaplain For Notre Dame (S495c, S831)
.........................Craziest Touchdown Ever - Video (S674b)
.........................College Entrance Exam (Football Player Version)
.........................Short Football Jokes
..............................Jim Harbaugh And Siku Do Push-Ups - Video (S896)
..............................Mallard Cartoon (S876)
..............................Girl Football Player Is Fast (S826)
..............................Kid Tricks The Opposing Team To Win A Football Game (S785)
..............................Jerome Simpson's Front Flip Touchdown - Video (S780)
..............................College Football Coach Quotes (S760)
..............................B.C. Comic Strip (S626b)
..............................Plaxico Burress (S619b)
..............................Frank And Ernest (S606b)
..............................NFL Quarterbacks' Names (S593)
..............................Maxine On The Super Bowl (S573c)
..............................Georgia Mascot Missing (S554c)
..............................Michael Vick Trial (S553b)
..............................Homemade Popsicle Stick Riddle (S830)
..............................Eight Raider Question-Answers (S523b)
..............................Thirteen College Football Question-Answers (S869)

============================================================Top
Subj:     The Novice Cartoon (DU)
          From: TTDesign.com
 Source: http://www.ttdesign.com/c-nov9.htm
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Top
Subj:     Michael Vick Experience (S889d)
          From: Marion Brit on 1/24/2012
Photo from Facebook
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/5Oag8iBB7HE
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=459742460792569

 Nike Gridiron's Michael Vick Experience is an awesome
 commercial.  It is an amusement park ride of the future.
 In it you get to experience being an NFL quarterback.

 Click 'HERE'to feel the thrill of being a professional
 quarterback in NFL.

Top
Subj:     Bad British NFL Commentary (S889d)
          Produced by TheExplodingHeads
          Written and Performed by Anthony Richardson
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/HW4J-RiCZ2Q

 Britain's premier sports commentator is Anthony Richardson.
 In this video written and performed by Anthony, he pokes
 fun at the British understanding of American football.
 Click 'HERE' to hear Richardson's very funny British lack
 of football knowledge. 

Top
Subj:     Terry Bradshaw On Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson
          Posted by The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
          From: tom on 1/6/2014 (S887d)
 Source: (Removed from youtube.com)

 On this episode of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Terry
 Bradshaw talked about playing football with Phil Robertson.
 Terry was Phil's backup quarterback at Louisiana Tech University.

 Click 'HERE' to see this funny conversation with Terry about
 Phil Robertson.

Top
Subj:     Norman Rockwell's "Fumble" Drawing (S819d)
          From: Saturday Evening Post
          on 9/20/2012
 Source1: AllPosters.com
 Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Rockwell

 Norman Percevel Rockwell (1894 - 1978) was a 20th-
century American painter and illustrator.
His works enjoy a broad popular appeal
in the United States for their reflection
of American culture.  Rockwell is most
famous for the cover illustrations of
everyday life scenarios he created for
The Saturday Evening Post magazine for
Drawing from All-Yours-Styling.com
 more than four decades.

 Norman Rockwell's "Fumble" from the cover drawing on The
 Saturday Evening Post for November 21,1925.  It was the
 artist's first sports cover.  Click 'HERE' to see this
 wonderful football drawing.

Top
Subj:     Barry Switzer Visits Mariucci (S47)
          From: RFSlick on 97-12-17

 Barry Switzer, clearly upset about the Dallas Cowboy's
 losing record, decides to find out from Steve Mariucci
 what his secret is.  So, Switzer travels up to a 49er
 practice and asks Mariucci, "Coach, how is it that your
 team is so good?  What's your secret?"

 Mariucci responds by calling Steve Young over. "Steve,
 who's your father's brother's nephew?"  Young answers,
 "Why coach, that's easy.  It's me."

 Mariucci turns to Switzer and says, "That's the secret,
 Barry.  A smart quarterback.  You've got to have a smart
 quarterback."

 Thinking he's finally got all the tools he needs, Switzer
 returns to Texas and the Cowboy work-out.  He promptly
 calls over Troy Aikman.

 "Aikman! Who's your father's brother's nephew?"  Troy
 looks perplexed, thinks a minute and says, "Coach, can I
 get back to you after practice on that one?"

 Switzer (disgusted) says, "OK."

 During practice, Aikman calls over Deion Sanders. "Deion,
 coach just asked me the weirdest question.  Who's your
 father's brother's nephew?"

 Sanders: "Duh! That's easy.  It's me!"  After practice,
 Aikman catches up with Switzer: "Coach, I think I've got
 it.  My father's brother's nephew is Deion Sanders.

 "Switzer (angry): "No, No, NO! You idiot!! It's Steve Young!!!"

Top
Subj:     Inside The Control Room Of An NFL Game
          Created by The Verge on 11/25/13 (S884d)
Photo from YouTube.com...
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/u_V8IlitveE
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/controlroom/

 The NFL's most exciting game isn't played on the field.
 It happens behind the scenes, as hundreds of cast and
 crew come together to turn a football game into a football
 broadcast.  Hundred of millions of viewers turn in every
 week to see this amazing live broadcast.  Click 'HERE' to
 see this video of the New England Patriots playing the
 New Orleans Saints on Fox Sports.

Top
Subj:     I Am A Champion - The Greatest Speech Ever [ENG SUB]
          From: Christopher Pearson
          on Facebook on 1/12/2012 (S783d)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/yX39J_YyKbs

 You wanna get pumped and motivated before important match
 or game? Watch this video and and start celebrating victory.

 Click 'HERE' to see this great, football, motivational speech.

Top
Subj:     Field of Dreams 2: Lockout (S756d)
          From: Funny Or Die on 7/7/2011
 Source: http://vimeo.com/27800484

 An Iowa corn farmer (Taylor Lautner), hearing voices,
 interprets them as a command to build a football field
 in his fields; he does, and the National Football League
 comes.  Field of Dreams 2 with Taylor Lautner and the
 cast (Ray Liotta, Dennis Haysbert, Marielle Jaffe) and
 the stars of the NFL (Ray Lewis, Tony Gonzalez, DeSean
 Jackson is a funny, all too real problem that American
 males must face this fall.  Click 'HERE' to see this
 cute video. 

Top
Subj:     Final Football Play Of Trinity Vs. Millsaps (S737d)
          From: Wimp.com on 2/26/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/z7oF4ZDigjM
 Source2: http://www.dump.com/2011/02/22/end-zone-angle-of-the-
..........final-football-play-of-trinity-vs-millsaps-video/

 End Zone angle of the final play of Trinity vs. Millsaps
 Football.  Down 24-16 with just over two minutes to go,
 Trinity's Riley Curry scored to cut the lead to 24-22.
 After a missed two point conversion attempt, Trinity's
 defense held Millsaps to a three-and-out without using
 any timeouts.  The Tigers were left with two seconds and
 60 yards to go for a score.  15 laterals and 62 seconds
 later, Trinity crossed the goal line to win the game and
 take the upper hand in the conference standings.  Seven
 of the 11 players for Trinity touched the ball including,
 Blake Barmore, Shawn Thompson, Riley Curry, Josh Hooten,
 Michael Tomlin, Stephen Arnold, and Brandon Maddux.

 Click 'HERE' to see this absolutely amazing play.

Top
Subj:     Wilson Football Factory (S729d)
          by Media Cabin1
          From: ft.apache on 12/31/2010
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/K8kZP4dRe3w
 Source2: http://www.reliableplant.com/View/21492/
..........how-wilson-manufactures-nfl-game-footballs

 Here is an inside look into Wilson's Ada, Ohio, football
 factory where all of the official NFL game balls are made.
 The video shows the step-by-step process that each football
 goes through.  Click 'HERE' to see how an NFL football is made.

Top
Subj:     Lingerie Bowl (S672b,d)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/19/2009
 Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lingerie_Bowl

 The Lingerie Bowl is an annual Super Bowl halftime
 alternative special shown on pay-per-view TV.  It
 features a game of full-contact American football
 with models playing seven-on-seven tackle football.
 It first aired during Super Bowl XXXVIII in 2004
 with New York Euphoria losing to the Los Angeles
 Dream by a score of 6-0.  The players in the game
 wear panties, a sports bra, and some protective gear.

 The original three videos I posted here were removed
 by YouTube.com because of copyright claims made by
 the Lingerie Football League LLC.  I have replaced
 them with two, short, highlight videos.
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Source:
http://www.youtube.com/embed/toM-MI39s8A

Click 'HERE' to see a 1:56 second high-
light video OF LA's 27 to 14 victory
in the Lingerie Bowl VII at Hard Rock

 Live in Miami, FL in 2010.
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Source:
http://www.youtube.com/embed/5LNroiIoHc0

Click 'HERE' to see LFL All-Fantasy Game
Highlights 1:26 video.  It is the highlights
from the first annual All-Fantasy Game

 from Monterrey, Mexico!
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Subj:     South Park-isms
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #205 on 97-10-26

 A short string of South Park-isms, from the South Park
 football game announcer:

 "Wow, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King!"

 After Pip the English boy gets creamed:
 "I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since
 Hugh Grant!"

 Finally, when Kyle gets the ball and runs for the end zone:
 "I haven't seen a jew run like that since Poland 1939!"

 Also, as a state motto that Vince couldn't run on Humournet:
 "Virginia: How can a state where blowjobs are a felony be
 for lovers?"

Top
Subj:     Football Like It Was (S664, S820d)
          From: tom on 9/25/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/7HDRLnoAY9E

 Art Donovan -- a guy famous for both playing football and
 being the worst wrestling announcer in wrestling history
 (in 1994) appears on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show in 1990.
 Click 'HERE' to see and listen to this old time, funny,
 football player.

Top
Subj:     NFL Fantasy Files: The Best Players (S626b,d)
          From: darrellvip on 1/30/2009
..........At: http://www.youtube.com/embed/NHH-6ZQktRQ

 In this video seven NFL stars compete for your vote for the
 best player with seven amazing, impossible football acts.
 Even if you don't like NFL Football, it's worth watching.
 Click 'HERE' to see this video.

Top
Subj:     Bob Nelson's Classic Football Routine
          From: tom on 10/8/08  1/3/12 (S615b, S781d)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/BerJdS2VJhA

 From the 1980s, Bob Nelson was just starting his comedy
 career.  This movie was made at Dangerfield's Comedy Club
 of his famous football routine.  Click 'HERE' to see this
 very funny standup act!

Top
Subj:     Oakland Raider Alert (S505)
          From: jbcary1 on 9/25/2006

 Oakland Raiders football practice was delayed nearly two hours
 today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery
 substance on the practice field.

 Head coach Art Shell immediately suspended practice and called
 the police and federal investigators.

 After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that
 the white substance unknown to players was the "GOAL LINE."

 Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was
 unlikely to encounter the substance again.

Top
Subj:     Plaxico Burress On Gun Safety (S627d)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/16/2009
..........At: http://www.youtube.com/embed/Yl-vT_EBGZc

 You can watch this cute, stupid video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     The Chaplain For Notre Dame (S495c, S831)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/17/2006 and 9/21/2010

 Years ago, the chaplain of the football team at Notre Dame
 was a beloved old Irish priest.  At confession one day, a
 football player told the priest that he had acted in an un-
 sportsman-like manner at a recent football game.  "I lost
 my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents."

 "Ahhh, that's a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be
 doin'," the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew
 a mark across the sleeve of his coat.

 "That's not all, Father. I got mad and punched one of my
 opponents."

 "Saints preserve us!" the priest said, making another chalk
 mark.

 "There's more. As I got out of a pileup, I kicked two of the
 other team's players in a sensitive area."

 "Oh, goodness me!" the priest wailed, making two more chalk
 marks on his sleeve. "Who in the world were we playin' when
 you did these awful things?"

 "Southern Methodist."

 "Ah, well," said the priest, wiping his sleeve, "boys will
 be boys."

Top
Subj:     Craziest Touchdown Ever (S674b,d)
          From: Wimp.com on 12/10/2009
 Source: http://www.wimp.com/craziesttouchdown/

 In this football game, Washington Redskins lead the New
 Orleans Saints 17 to 10.  The Saints have the ball with
 3rd and 26 to play.  Drew Breeze goes back to pass. 
 Click 'HERE' to enjoy this short, strange, exciting and
 fun video.

Top
Subj:     College Entrance Exam (Football Player Version)
          From: Daemonic Funnies Page

 Time Limit: 3 Weeks
 Pick 3 to answer.
  1. What language is spoken in France?
  2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with
     particular reference to architecture, literature, law and
     social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
  3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
        (a) build a bridge
        (b) sail the ocean
        (c) lead an army or
        (d) WRITE A PLAY
  4. What religion is the Pope?
        (a) Jewish
        (b) Catholic
........(c) Hindu
        (d) Polish
        (e) Agnostic  (check only one)
  5. Metric conversion.  How many feet in 0.0 meters?
  6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12
     and the little hand is on the 5?
  7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
  8. What are people in America's far north called?
        (a) Westerners
        (b) Southerners
        (c) Northerners
  9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one
     being George the Sixth.  Name the previous five.
 11. Where does rain come from?
        (a) Macy's
        (b) a 7-11
        (c) Canada
        (d) the sky
 12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
        (a) yes
        (b) no
 13. What are coat hangers used for?
 14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for
     what country?
 15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium
     -OR-spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
 16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
 17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
        (a) New York
        (b) Florida
        (c) Canada
        (d) Wisconsin
 18. Advanced math.  If you have three apples how many apples
     do you have?
 19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.) stand for?
 20. The U.C.B. tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
        (a) B.C.
        (b) A.D.
        (c) still waiting


Subj:     Short Football Jokes

Top
Subj:     Jim Harbaugh And Siku Do Push-Ups (S896d)
          Posted by SFDKLandSeaSky
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/oNdUF7PP9Ho
 San Francisco 49er head coach Jim Harbaugh does push-ups
 with Siku, a walrus, at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in
 Vallajo, CA.  Click 'HERE' to see this cute, 16 second video
 

Top
Subj:     Mallard Cartoon (S876)
          By Bruce Tinsley on 10/18/2013
 Source: http://www.seattlepi.com/comics-and-
.........games/fun/Mallard_Fillmore/2013-10-18/
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Top
Subj:     Girl Football Player Is Fast (S826d)
          From: darrelldre on 11/8/2012
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/C5MjsyVSIlc
 Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/4835/Girl-
..........Football-Player-Is-Fast-And-Fun-To-Watch/
 Sam Gordon plays tackle football and is really fast.
 She scored 35 times and ran for 1,911 yards, averaging
 8.2 yards per carry. Click 'HERE' to watch this fun
 video of a girl playing Pop Warner football.
 

Top
Subj:     Kid Tricks The Opposing Team
.............To Win A Football Game (S785d)
          From: Wimp.com on 2/13/2012
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/jbfR0zxsOzg
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/niceone/
 Click 'HERE' to watch this trick, youth football play.
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Top
Subj:     Jerome Simpson's Front Flip Touchdown
          From: Wimp.com on 12/25/2011 (S780d)
 Source: http://www.wimp.com/touchdownflip/
 On Saturday, Dec. 24,2011, the Cincinnati Bengals beat
 the Arizona Cardinals 23 to 16.  During this game,
 Jerome Simpson of the Bengals front flipped his way into
 the end zone.  This video was recorded live on Fox NFL.
 Click 'HERE' to see this amazing fourteen second video.
 

Top
Subj:     College Football Coach Quotes (S760)
          From: tom on 8/6/2011
Drawing from Flickr.com
 Source: http://www.davidstuff.com/humor/coachquotes.htm
 Click 'HERE' to read some wonderful college football quotes.
 

Top
Subj:     B.C. Comic Strip (S626b)
          By Johnny Hart (1931-2007) on 1/7/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/bc/2009/01/07
 This comic strip discusses why grown men fight
 over a stupid football.  Click 'HERE' to read it.
 

Top
Subj:     Plaxico Burress (S619b)
          By Mike Luckovich on 12/8/2008
..........At: (Removed from WashingtonPost.com)
 This political cartoon is about the professional football
 player, Plaxico Burress, shooting himself in the leg with
 a gun.  Plaxico had the gun in his sweatpants while at a
 night club. You can view this cute cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Frank And Ernest (S606b)
          by Bob Thaves on 8/16/2008
 At: http://www.gocomics.com/frank-and-ernest/2008/08/16
 You can view this cute comic strip about football practice
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     NFL Quarterbacks' Names (S593)
          From: darrellvip on 5/31/2008
 You can view these four photos on why NFL quarterbacks
 need to keep their names short by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Maxine On The Super Bowl (S573c)
          From: darrellvip on 1/14/2008
 To see the cartoon on Maxine's opinion of the Super Bowl,
 click 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Georgia Mascot Missing (S554c)
..........From: AFine963 on 8/29/2007
Drawing from Table and Home
 You can see the last photo taken of the Georgia Mascot
 before his unexplained disappearance by clicking 'HERE'
 If you know anything about this case, please contact
 the proper authorities.
 

Top
Subj:     Michael Vick Trial (S553b)
          From: CKButch4Femme on 8/22/2007
 Source: (Removed from good-times.webshots.com)
 You can see this cute cartoon of the Michael Vick trial
 by clicking 'HERE'. The second Vick photo is from AFine963
 on 8/24/2007.
 

Top
Subj:     Homemade Popsicle Stick Riddle (S830)
          From: RDobry on 12/3/2012
 Source: (Removed from inagist.com)
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............
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......Click 'HERE' to see all 22 Popsicle Sticks riddles.
..

From: LABLaughsClean on 9/12/2007 (S556b)
 "The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is
  likely to be the one who dropped it."  -- Lou Holtz

 "Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not
  motivated."  -- Lou Holtz / Arkansas

 "It isn't necessary to see a good tackle.  You can
  hear it."  -- Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

 "I've found that prayers work best when you have big
  players."  -- Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
 

Top
Subj:     Eight Raider Question-Answers (S523b)
          From: darrell94590 on 1/22/2007

 Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching
    the Super Bowl?
 A: The Oakland Raiders.

 Q: What do the Oakland Raiders and
    Billy Graham have in common?
 A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

 Q: How do you keep a Oakland Raider out of your yard?
 A: Put up goal posts.

 Q: Where do you go in Oakland in case of a tornado?
 A: To The Oakland Coliseum - they never get a touchdown there.

 Q: What do you call a Oakland Raider with a Super Bowl ring?
 A: A thief!!

 Q: What's the difference between the Oakland Raiders
    and a dollar bill?
 A: You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar bill.

 Q: How many Oakland Raiders does it take to win a Super Bowl?
 A: Nobody knows and we will never find out.

 Q: What do the Oakland Raiders and possums have in common?
 A: Both play dead at home (and get killed on the road).

Top
Subj:     Thirteen College Football Question-Answers (S869)
          From: AFine963 on 9/2/2013

 Q: Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
 A: So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday,
    go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

 Q: What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
 A: Drool.

 Q: How many Michigan freshmen football players does
    it take to change a light bulb? 
 A: None. That's a sophomore course.

 Q: How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? 
 A: The cow fell on him.

 Q: What do you say to a Michigan State University football
    player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
 A: "Will the defendant please rise."

 Q: If three Florida State football players are in the same car,
    who is driving?
 A: The police officer.

 Q: How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
 A: There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

 Q: What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders
    in one room?
 A: A full set of teeth.

 Q: Why did University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only
    dress half of his players for the game this week?
 A: The other half will have to dress themselves.

 Q: How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
 A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

 Q: Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
 A: He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

 Q: How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
 A: Pay him for pizza.

 S: Two Texas A?M football players were walking in the woods. 
    One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." 
 Q: The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
 

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
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.............................From darrell94590 on 7/11/06.
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