>>> Subj:     Hockey Jokes                  (Includes 8 jokes and articles, 20718n,0,cf)

Hockec Puck from Animation Factory

Also see FISHING1 file- 'Drunk Goes Ice Fishing'
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Subj:     Top Ten Reasons Hockey Is Better Than Sex (DU)
          From: ossama on 98-06-16

 10. It's legal to play hockey professionally.
  9. The puck is always hard.
  8. Protective equipment is reusable and
     you don't even have to wash it.
  7. It lasts a full hour.
  6. You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.
  5. Your parents cheer when you score.
  4. Periods only last 20 minutes.
  3. You can count on it at least twice a week.
  2. You can tell your friends all about it afterwards.

 And, the number one reason hockey is better than sex...

  1. A two-on-one or three-on-one is not uncommon.

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Subj:     Short Hockey Jokes

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Subj:     Hockey Killer's Brother (S266b, DU)
          From: jerry on 3/6/2002
 "I got upset, threw it on the floor, stomped on it and
 threw it over the counter.  I didn't mean to hit her."

 Comment made by the enraged brother of killer hockey
 dad Thomas Junta when Best Buy wouldn't take back a
 phone without a receipt.

 James Junta smashed the phone so hard pieces flew 12
 feet and he left a welt on the leg of young female
 clerk after hitting her with the phone.  He was
 arrested after storming out of the store, warning the
 clerk to get out of the way or "I'll knock you out."
 He's already on parole for attempted murder and assault.

 His brother is now serving 6 to 10 years for beating
 another boy's father to death at hockey practice.

Boston Herald 1-Mar-02
 

 Hockey legend Wayne Gretsky does this for good luck.
 Only tucks in the right side of his jersey.

From: humorlist-digest V1 #259 on 97-11-25 (S626b)
 The goal tender threw a party after his team won the
 championship, and as a special honor asked the coach to
 say grace.

 Finishing up the short prayer,  the team guiding light said,
 "...we thank you, Lord, in the name of the Father, Son, and
 goalie host."

From: RFSlick on 5/31/99
 Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he
 keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so
 when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my
 fucking clothes."

From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 5/8/2001 (S223)
 "I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game
  broke out."  --Rodney Dangerfield.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 9/19/2006 (S504b)
 "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."
    -- Wayne Gretzky

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Smileys playing hockey from Smiley_Central

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