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Subj:     Hunting And Camping Jokes
                 (Includes 42 jokes and articles, 22 1028,15,cif,vYT3b4c,8)
 

          Click "Here" for Hunting And Camping-Supp


Hunter  from
Accent on Animation
Includes the following:  Non Sequitur Cartoon (S868 in Supp)
.........................William Shatner On Boston Legal - Video (S824 in Supp)
.........................The Ex-wife (S836 in Supp)
.........................Jackass 3D Paintball Duck Hunting - Video (S757 in Supp)
.........................Non Sequitur Cartoon II (S1026 in Supp)
.........................John Pinette's "Goes Camping" - Video (S757-Supp)
.........................The World's Largest Army? America's Hunters (S831 in Supp)
.........................FMG-9 Folding Gun - Video (S718 in Supp)
.........................The (Lego) Lee Enfield Sniper Rifle - Video (S700b in Supp)
.........................Couple Lost While Hiking (S696b in Supp)
.........................Bizarro Cartoon II (S1004 in Supp)
.........................Skeet Shootin' - Texas Style - Video (S687 in Supp)
.........................Ole's Hunting Accident (S681b in Supp)
.........................The Swiss Room Box - Video (S791 in Supp)
.........................Firearms Refresher Course (S538 in Supp)
.........................Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women - Web Page (S840 in Supp)
.........................Doctors Vs Guns (S439b, S606 in Supp)
.........................The Battle Of Athens: The Rule Of Law - Video (S836 in Supp)
.........................Anti-Gun Control Statistics (S493b in Supp)
.........................
.........................Tundra Comics (S907)
.........................Talking Deer Video (S473b)
.........................Tourist Finds A Small Cabin (S625b)
.........................South Park Goes Camping - Video (S1028)
.........................Big-Game Hunter Brags In A Bar (S549b)
.........................Camping Store Sign (S961)
.........................Ted Nugent On Deer Hunting (S524)
.........................Man, Wife, And In-Law Go Hunting (S297b, DU)
.........................Penn And Teller On Gun Control - Video (S481c)
.........................Two Guys Go Bear Hunting (S642c)
.........................Deer Hunter Has Stroke (S422)
.........................Snoopy Goes Camping - Comic Strip (S1008)
.........................Four Guys Go Deer Hunting (S698b)
.........................Bubba And Bo Go Hunting (S241)
.........................Bubba And Bo Go Hunting II - Video (S525b)
.........................Letter About Campground Toilets (S287)
.........................Hunter Buys A New Scope (S250, S518c)
.........................'Camping' Box Sign (S1022)
.........................Three Hunters Caught In A Snowstorm (S232, S674b)
.........................Three Guys Cross A River (S223, DU)
.........................Deer Hunting Picture (S396b)
.........................Hunter Shoots Himself In The Arm (S55, DU)
.........................The Hunter And The Fly (S139, S791)
.........................Concealed Gun Permit - Newspaper Article (S1023)
.........................Man Takes His Wife Hunting (S15, S550b)
.........................Hunter And Bear Pray (S139, S345b)
.........................50 Caliber Rifle On A Test Range (S652b)
.........................Duck Hunter Wants Sex (S290)
.........................Hunting Moose In Canada (S468, S661)
.........................Bullet Art W/Hi-Speed Camera - Video (S575b)
.........................Short Hunting Jokes
..............................Tundra Comics (S856 in Supp)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S778 in Supp)
..............................Maine Moose Hunting Trip (S777 in Supp)
..............................Gun Safety Knowledge - GIF (S736 in Supp)
..............................Dilbert Comic Strip (S668b in Supp)
..............................The Argyle Sweater Cartoon (S827 in Supp)
..............................The Wife's First Deer Hunt (S668b in Supp)
..............................Maxine On Camping And Grilling (S659 in Supp)
..............................Vegetarian Is An Old Indian Word - Sign (S913-SUPP)
..............................Whyatt Cartoons (S740 in Supp)
..............................Popsicle Stick Riddle (S828 in Supp)
..............................
..............................Hunting Trophies (S584c)
..............................Father Takes Son Hunting (S241)
..............................Typical Texas Deer Stand (S486b)
..............................Redneck Christmas Lights (S522c)

Also see ACCIDENT2    - 'Guys w/New Jeep Go Duck Hunting'
         ARKANSAS     - 'Woman Shot In Car'
         AUSTRALIAN   - 'Australian Gun Control'
         BATHROOM-SUPP- 'How Can A Man Who Can Hit A Deer At 250 Yards' Sign
         BEAR file    - 'Family Goes Camping And Meets Bear'
......................- 'Two Guys Chased By A Bear'
......................- 'Hunter Hunts Bear, Bear Fucks Hunter'
......................- 'Camping Alert'
         BIRD file    - 'Man Tried For Killing Bald Eagle'
......................- 'Bird Bands'
         BIRDS-DUCKS  - 'Two Men Fight Over Duck'
......................- 'Five Doctors Go Duck Hunting'
......................- 'Two Brain Surgeons Go Duck Hunting'
......................- 'Duck Hunter And The Game Warden'
         CANADIAN file- 'Canadian Home Defense' - Photo
         COLLEGE2 file- 'Speech By Charlton Heston At Harvard'
         COWBOY2 file - 'Gunslinger Supreme'
         DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Shooting Raccoons'
         ELDERLY2 file- '90 Year Old Geezer Has Baby'
         FACTS3 file  - 'Silver Bullet:'
         FARMER2 file - 'Farmer And Young Bride Can't Get Enough Sex'
         FOOTBALL-SUPP- 'Terry Bradshaw On Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson' - Video
         JOBS3 file   - 'Three Boys Brag About Father's Speed'
         JOB-STUFF-SUP- 'Entertaining Women Clients'
         KIDS2 file   - 'Grandfather And Kid Go To Cabin'
         LAWYERS2 file- 'Washington Hunting Laws And Bag Limits'
         LETTERS2 file- 'Letter From Camp'
         MARRIAGE3    - 'Husband Meets A Bum'
         MATH4 file   - 'PUZZLE - Two Hunters Shoot A Bear'
         MEN1 file    - 'Two Men Camping'
         MONSTERS-SUPP- 'The Freak' - Movie
         NATIONAL-STTS- 'Kansas Tourism Council Bulletin:'
         NERD file    - 'Nerd Season'
         OTHER_ANIMALS- 'The Goat And The Railroad Tie'
         PENIS3 file  - 'Englishman Shoots Self In Groin'
.........POLISH file  - 'Irishman And Polack Out Hunting'
         POPE file    - 'The Pope's Alaskan Vacation'
         REDNECK3 file- 'Two Redneck Hunters'
         REDNECK-SUPP - 'The Slingshot Man' - Movie
         SOLDIER1 file- 'Boy Scout Troop Visits Army Base'

============================================================Top
Subj:     Tundra Comics (S907)
          Created by Chad Carpenter on 6/1/2014
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/tundracomics/photos/pb.226320097380
.........341.-2207520000.1460166344./1112457158766626/?type=3?theater
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Subj:     The Man Show - Talking Deer (S473b,d)
          From: auntiegah on 2/4/2006
 Source: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3st
.........qg_deer-hunter-from-the-man-show_fun

 This is a funny "The Man Show" Episode 2002 with Adam Carolla,
 and Jimmy Kimmel.  They strap an animatronic deer w/microphone
 to the hood of car at a truck stop.  You can view this video
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Tourist Finds A Small Cabin (S625b)
         From: LABLaughsClean on 12/31/2008

 A tourist from the Atlanta area was hiking through the
 mountains of North Georgia when he came upon the tiniest
 cabin he had ever seen in his life.

 Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door. "Anybody
 home?" he asked.

 "Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.

 "Is your father there?" asked the tourist.

 "Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.

 "Well, is your mother there?" persisted the tourist.

 "Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the
 kid.

 "But," protested the city slicker, "are you never together
 as a family?"

 "Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door..
 "This is the outhouse!"

Top
Subj:     South Park Goes Camping (S1028)
          From: South Park on Facebook on 9/22/2016
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/mkd6JkfI4yk
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........Click 'HERE' to see this deadly scene from
.............."Skank Hunt" Season 20 Episode 02.
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Top
Subj:     Big-Game Hunter Brags In A Bar (S549b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/19/2007

 The big-game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to
 everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was
 undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that.
 But then he said that he could recognize any animal's
 skin by feeling it, and he could tell what caliber rifle
 was used to shoot it by locating the bullet hole.

 This was a bit too much for the other customers, and
 soon a heated argument started.  The hunter said that
 he was willing to prove it if they would put up the
 drinks, and the bet was on.

 They blindfolded him and took him to his first animal
 skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced,
 "Springbok." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared,
 "And it was shot with a .22 rifle."

 He was right! The others could not believe it and the
 argument was even hotter than before.  When someone
 suggested that he must have peeped, he said that he
 was prepared to do it again for another round.  So they
 blindfolded him again, very thoroughly this time, and
 they brought a skin that someone happened to have
 in the trunk of his car.

 He took a bit longer this time and then said, "Kalahari
 Lion.  Fingering the bullet hole, he added, "The rifle
 was a .308."

 He was right again! This only made the crowd more curious,
 and he had to prove his skills over and over again, every
 time winning a round of drinks.  Finally he staggered home,
 bombed out of his mind, and went to sleep.

 The next morning he got up and saw in the mirror that he
 had one hell of a shiner.  So he said to his wife, "Listen,
 I know I was drunk last night, but not too drunk to know
 that I didn't get into a fight.  So where did I get this
 black eye?"

 His wife replied angrily, "From me!"

 "What did I do?" he asked.

 She replied, "You got into bed and put your hand inside my
 panties.  Then you fiddled around a bit and announced,
 'Skunk, killed with an axe!'"

Top
Subj:     Camping Store Sign (S961)
          From: sam.hutkins on 6/17/2015
 Source: https://twitter.com/eliotandersen/status/579736463744614400
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Subj:     Ted Nugent On Deer Hunting (S524)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/26/2007

 While on a European tour, Ted was being interviewed by a
 French journalist.  The journalist asked, "What do you
 think the last thought is in the head of a deer before
 you shoot it?  Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are
 you the one who killed my brother?'"

 Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of
 thinking.  All they care about is, 'What am I going to
 eat next?', 'Who am I going to screw next?', and 'Can I
 run fast enough to get away?':  They are very much like
 the French."

Top
Subj:     Man, Wife, And In-Law Go Hunting (S297b, DU)
          From: humorlist-digest V3 #16 on 99-01-18
      and From: dogbyte on 10/7/2002

 A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-
 in-law.  One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the
 Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband,
 she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

 The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey,
 and started to look for her.  In a clearing not far from
 the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-
 law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and
 a large male lion stood facing her.

 The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"

 "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself
 into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

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Subj:     Penn And Teller On Gun Control (S481c,d)
          From: opiebennett on 4/10/2006
 Source: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ec7_1251312990?comments=1

 To view this 28 minute, controversial, Showtime movie on gun
 control, click 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Two Guys Go Bear Hunting (S642c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 4/24/2009

 Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin,
 the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a
 huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.

 When the enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his
 rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he
 could.  He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little
 faster and gained on him with every step.  Just as he
 reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.

 Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and
 went rolling into the cabin.

 The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his
 friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get
 another!"

Top
Subj:     Deer Hunter Has Stroke (S422)
          From: DafterLafter on 2/23/2005

 A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off
 in twos for the day.

 That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
 under the weight of an eight-point buck.

 "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

 "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles
 back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

 "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?"
 they inquired.

 "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is
 going to steal Henry!"

Top
Subj:     Snoopy Goes Camping (S1008)
          By Charles M. Schulz
          From: Ken Little on Facebook on 5/11/2016
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1988/02/18
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Subj:     Four Guys Go Deer Hunting (S698b)
          From: darrellvip on 6/1/2010

 Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many
 years.  Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife
 puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.  Ron's
 friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they
 do.

 Two days later the three get to the camping site only to
 find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered,
 and dinner cooking on the fire.

 "Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your
 wife into letting you go?"

 "Well, I've been here since midnight.  Yesterday evening, I
 was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put
 her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'" I pulled her
 hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.  She took
 my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.  The room had candles
 and rose petals all over.  On the bed she had handcuffs, and
 ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.

 And then she said, "Do what ever you want."

 So, Here I am.

Top
Subj:     Bubba And Bo Go Hunting (S241)
          From: FrankRoesch on 9/12/2001
 A couple of Redskins fans, Bubba and Bo, are hunting in the
 woods in the rural south when Bo falls to the ground.  He
 doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back
 in his head.

 Bubba whips out his cell phone and calls 911.  He gasps to
 the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

 The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it
 easy.  I can help.  First, let's make sure he's dead."

 There is silence, then a shot is heard. Bubba's voice comes
 back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
 

Top
Subj:     Bubba And Bo Go Hunting II (S525b,dwmv)
          From: gordonschuk on 1/29/07
 Source: http://jokelibrary.net/sports/a_to_z/hunt-911.wmv

 This WMV video is a cute, short remake of an old joke.
 You can view it as a WMV video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Letter About Campground Toilets (S287, DU)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 7/30/2002

 A woman who was rather old-fashioned, delicate, and elegant
 - especially in her language - was planning a week's vacation
 in Florida so she wrote to a particular campground and asked
 for a reservation.

 She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped,
 but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities.
 She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "TOILET"
 in her letter.  After much deliberation, she finally came up
 with the old-fashioned term "BATHROOM COMMODE."  But when
 she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too
 forward.  So, she started all over again, rewrote the letter
 and referred to the bathroom commode merely as the B.C.
 "Does the campground have it's own B.C.?" is what she
 actually wrote.

 Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all and
 when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what
 the woman was talking about.  That B.C. business really
 stumped him.

 After worrying about it for a while, he showed the letter
 to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the
 lady meant either.  So the campground owner, finally
 coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking
 about the location of the local Baptist Church, sat down
 and wrote the following reply:

 "Dear Madam: Regret very much in the delay in answering
 you letter.  I now take the pleasure in informing you that
 a B.C. is located nine miles north of the campground and
 is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it
 is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going
 regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that
 a great number of people usually take their lunches along
 and make a day of it.  They usually arrive early and stay
 late."

 "The last time my wife and I went was six years ago and
 it was so crowded that we had to stand up the whole time
 we were there.  It may interest you to know that right
 now, there is a supper being planned to raise money to
 buy more seats.  They're going to hold it in the basement
 of the B.C."

 "I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able
 to go more regularly but it is sure no lack of desire on
 my part.  As we grow older, it seems to be more of an
 effort, particularly in cold weather."

 "If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps
 I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you,
 and introduce you to all the other folks."

 "Remember, this is a friendly community."

Top
Subj:     Hunter Buys A New Scope (S250, S518c)
          From: dogbyte on 11/16/2001

 (Also see 'Assassin Plays Golf' in GOLF1)

 A man decided to buy a new telescope for his rifle.  He
 goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a
 scope.  The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man,
 "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way
 up on that hill".  The man takes a look through the
 scope, and starts laughing.  "What's so funny?" asks the
 clerk.

 "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in
 the house", the man replies.

 The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his
 house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says,
 "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for
 nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's
 head off and shoot the guy's dick off".  The man takes
 another look through the scope, and says, "You know what?
 I think I can do that with one shot!"

Top
Subj:     'Camping' Box Sign (S1022)
          From: tom on 8/13/2016
 Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/224335625165893295/
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Subj:     Three Hunters Caught In A Snowstorm (S232, S674b)
          From: thebartend on 6/25/2001
      and From: gordonschuk 1/31/2006

 An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting
 in the wilderness of northern Canada.  Suddenly, the temper-
 ature dropped and a furious snowstorm was upon them.  They
 came across an isolated cabin, far removed from any town.
 The hunters had heard that the locals in the area were quite
 hospitable, so they knocked on the door to ask permission
 to rest.

 No one answered their knocks, but they discovered the cabin
 was unlocked and they entered.  It was a simple place ...
 2 rooms with a minimum of furniture and household equipment.
 Nothing was unusual about the cabin except the stove.  It
 was large, pot-bellied, and made of cast-iron.  What was
 strange about it was its location ... it was suspended in
 midair by wires attached to the ceiling beams.

 "Fascinating," said the psychologist. "It is obvious that
 this lonely trapper, isolated from humanity, has elevated
 this stove so that he can curl up under it and vicariously
 experience a return to the womb."

 "Nonsense!" replied the engineer. "The man is practicing
 the laws of thermodynamics.  By elevating his stove, he
 has discovered a way to distribute heat more evenly
 throughout the cabin."

 "With all due respect," interrupted the theologian, "I'm
 sure that hanging his stove from the ceiling has religious
 meaning.  Fire LIFTED UP has been a religious symbol for
 centuries."

 The three debated the point for several hours without
 resolving the issue.  When the trapper finally returned,
 they immediately asked him why he had hung his heavy pot-
 bellied stove from the ceiling.

 His answer was succinct. "Had plenty of wire, not much
 stove pipe."

Top
Subj:     Three Guys Cross A River (S223, DU)
          From: h2oman19 on 5/8/2001

 One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a
 large raging, violent river.  They needed to get to the other
 side, but had no idea of how to do so.  The first man prayed
 to God, saying "Please God. give me the strength to cross this
 river. "Poof" God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he
 was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after
 almost drowning a couple of times.

 Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please
 God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river.
 "Poof" God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across
 the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat
 a couple of times.

 The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two,
 so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the
 strength and the tools, and the intelligence to cross this
 river."Poof God turned him into a woman.  She looked at the
 map, hiked upstream a couple of hundred yards, then walked
 across the bridge.

Top
Subj:     Deer Hunting Picture(S396b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 8/26/2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
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Subj:     Hunter Shoots Himself In The Arm (S55, DU)
          From: RFSlick on 98-02-15

 A farmer was out hunting one day, when all of a sudden, his
 gun misfired, and the shot hit him right in the arm.  The
 farmer dropped his gun, and cradled the arm in his other
 arm.  The shot arm was hanging on by a string.  He made his
 way back to the house, and had his wife drive him in to the
 country doctor.

 He went to the doctor, and laid the arm gently down on the
 table.  He looks the doc in the eyes, and says, "Okay, doc,
 I don't want any of that sleepin' stuff, and no novacain,
 or pain killers.  You just start sewin' on this arm best
 way you know how!"

 Well, the doc starts stitching away.  Even the doctor is
 wincing at every stitch.  Finally, the doc can't take it
 anymore.  He looks up at the farmer, and says, "Man, don't
 this hurt a lot?"  Farmer says, "Yep, third worst pain
 I ever had in my life."

 The doc jumps back. "Third worst pain you ever had in your
 life?!  Here, you done near shot your arm off, and I'm
 here, stitchin' it up with no pain killers, or sleepin'
 stuff, and you're tellin' me this is only the third worst
 pain you ever had in your life?  I know there can't be
 anything much worse than this!"

 Farmer says, "Oh, yeah, doc...try this one on for size.
 I was out a-huntin' one day, and I had to take me a mean
 dump.  So I found me a clump of bushes, dropped my drawers,
 and backed up into them thar bushes when a bear trap
 snapped shut on my privates!"

 Doc says, "Oh my God!  You had a bear trap snap shut on
 your privates, and you're tellin' me that only the second
 worst pain you ever had in your life?!  Now I KNOWS there
 cain't be nuthin' worse than that!"

 Farmer says, "Oh, yeah, doc, well you just try it when
 the slack in the chain runs out!"

Top
Subj:     The Hunter And The Fly (S139, S791)

 (See 'A Rooster, A Cat, And A River' in BIRD-CHICKEN)

 One day in the forest, there was a fly. And this fly was buzzing
 around above the surface of a small stream in the woods.  Under
 the water was a small fish who was thinking:  "When that fly
 drops four inches, boy oh boy, it's lunch time."  So the fish
 waited and the fly kept buzzing.

 Over on the shore of the stream, there lumbered a large grizzly
 bear who was observing this whole thing.  He grumbled to himself,
 "When that fish goes for that fly, hmm, hmm, it's lunch time."
 So the bear and the fish waited while the fly kept buzzing.

 At the same time, over in the woods, there was a hunter who had
 been eating his lunch and watching this whole thing transpire.
 He said to himself,  "When that bear goes for that fish, god
 dammit, I'm gonna have me a big trophy."  So they all waited some
 more.

 At the hunter's feet there was a mouse who stealthily worked his
 way closer. The mouse was saying to himself,  "When that hunter
 grabs his gun to shoot that bear, he's going to drop that sand-
 wich, then, yummy, it's lunch time."  And so the tension mounted
 once again.

 Little did the mouse know that as he waited, the hunter's cat had
 hopped from the back of his pickup truck and was on the prowl.
 The cat said to himself, "When that mouse goes for that sandwich,
 bam, he's a dead motherfucker...lunch..."  So they all waited for
 the crucial moment.

 Then all of the sudden, the fly dropped four inches and the fish
 jumped.  The bear went for the fish and the hunter grabbed his
 gun and shot while the sandwich fell.  The mouse dove on the sand-
 wich and the cat followed and pounced on him.  Within a moment,
 the hunter realized what had happened exclaiming,  "Hey that's my
 lunch!"  He reached down and ripped the cat off the sandwich and
 hurdled him into the water.

 And what, pray tell, is the moral of this story?

 Anytime there's a fly dropping four inches, there's a pussy
 getting wet somewhere...

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Subj:     Concealed Gun Permit (S1023)
          From: AFine963 on 8/25/2016
 Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/505458758161855690/
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Subj:     Man Takes His Wife Hunting (S15, S550b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 8/3/2007

 It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up
 ready to go bag the first deer of the season.  He walks
 down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his
 surprise he finds his beautiful blonde wife, Alice,
 sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

 Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"

 Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"

 Jake, though he had many reservations about this,
 reluctantly decides to take her along.

 Later they arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife
 safely up in the tree stand and tells her, "If you see a
 deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back
 as soon as I hear the shot."

 Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that
 Alice couldn't bag an elephant... much less a deer. Not
 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an
 array of gunshots.

 Quickly, Jake starts running back.  As Jake gets closer
 to her stand, he hears Alice screaming: "Get away
 from my deer!"

 Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife.
 And again he hears her yell: "Get away from my deer!"
 followed by another volley of gunfire.

 Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is
 surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the
 air.

 The cowboy, obviously distraught, yells: "Okay, lady,
 okay!!!!  You can have your deer!!! Just let me get my
 saddle off it!"

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Subj:     Hunter And Bear Pray (S139, S345b, DU)
          From: The Bartenders Joke of the Day on 06 Feb 98
      and From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 09/30/1999

 (Also see 'The Atheist And The Bear' in BEAR)

 In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly
 confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to
 shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran
 as fast as he could.

 The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge
 of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.

 Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing
 in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his
 arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some
 'religion!'"

 The sky darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few
 feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and
 glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up
 into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about
 to receive...."

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Subj:     50 Caliber Rifle On A Test Range (S652b,d)
          From: darrellvip on 7/3/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/0ABGIJwiGBc

 Read before Watching.

 Turn up the sound... You can hear the bullet head back.
 Watch in full screen to see it better.

 This is a very, very lucky sportsman.  The guy is
 shooting a 50CAL.  Watch the dust when he fires.
 The target, a steel plate, was 1000 yards away.  You
 can hear the ping of the hit, and then the bullet
 comes back and hits his earmuffs on his head.

 The footage is amazing.  You can hear the bullet as
 it tumbles through the air on its course back toward
 the shooter.  He's lucky it hit the dirt first.  He
 is okay, and obviously very lucky.  The bullet grazed
 his temple.  What a difference a half an inch makes!

 Click 'HERE' to view this video.

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Subj:     Duck Hunter Wants Sex (S290, DU)
          From: KMACINTY on 8/22/2002

 One morning a husband awoke and decided he wanted to go duck
 hunting.  He woke his wife and told her, "You have three
 choices, either go duck hunting with me, let me fuck you up
 the ass, or give me a blow job.  I have to run out, get the
 dog, and load up the truck.  You had better decide by the
 time I get back."

 He returned after a while, and said to his wife, "Well, what
 have you decided to do?"

 She replied, "Well, I sure don't want to go duck hunting,
 and I'm sure the hell not going to let you fuck me up the
 ass, so I guess I'll give you a blow job."  She begins to
 suck on his dick, and all the sudden stops and begins
 spitting and choking.

 He said to her, "What's the problem?"

 She replied, "SHIT!  My god, your dick tastes like shit!"

 He replied "Well the dog didn't want to go duck hunting either".

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Subj:     Hunting Moose In Canada (S468, S661)
          From: roybarron on 1/8/2006
      and From: sam.hutkins on 9/10/2009
 Source: (Removed from ronn.com)

 Two hunters decide to go moose hunting in Canada.  They hire
 an airplane to drop them off in a remote region.  The pilot
 drops them off and tells them: "I'll be back in one week.
 No more than one moose - got it?"

 One week passes, and the pilot returns.  The hunters have
 two moose.  The pilot says: "Hey, I told you guys no more
 than one moose."  One of the hunters replies: "Look the
 pilot told us the same thing last year and we gave him a
 *big* tip to take both moose out."

 The three of them argue for several minutes more.  The pilot
 gives up and agrees to take both moose.  They load up the
 moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and strains
 trying to take off.  It finally gets the wheels off the
 ground 5 feet, 10 feet....  Whoops!  It runs out of runway
 and smashes into a tree.

 The two hunters, dazed and confused make there way out of
 the wreckage.  One hunter looks at the other and says:
 "Where the Hell are we?"

 The other looks around and replies:  "About 100 yards further
 than we got last year!"

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Subj:     Bullet Art W/Hi-Speed Camera (S575b,d)
          From: tom on 1/17/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/2BlMSb6Td0s

 This short video is exquisite.  Click 'HERE' to view it.


Subj:     Short Hunting/Camping Jokes

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Subj:     Hunting Trophies (S584c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/18/2008
..........At: (Removed from buffalosjokes.com)
 You can view this cute cartoon about hunting trophies
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Father Takes Son Hunting (S241, DU)
          From: spyda on 9/9/2001
 (Also see 'Special Camouflage Unit' in SOLDIER2)
 A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
 The father said, "Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be
 across the field."  A few minutes later, the father heard
 a blood-curdling scream and ran back  to his son.

 "What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet."

 The son answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake
 slithered across my feet.  I was quiet when the bear
 breathed down my neck.  But when the two chipmunks crawled
 up my pant legs and said, 'Should we eat them here or take
 them with us?  ................ I guess I just panicked."
 

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Subj:     Typical Texas Deer Stand (S486b)
          From: flovilla on 5/11/2006
 For those of you that do very little deer hunting, this is
 a typical South Texas deer stand.  Note that it has very few
 frills, and just the basic amenities needed to harvest a buck
 and fill the freezer for the coming winter.  You can view
 these six pictures by clicking 'HERE'.
 

 Hunters do it in the bush.
 Hunters do it with a bang.
 Hunters do it with a big gun.
 Hunters eat what they shoot.
 Hunters go deeper into the bush.
 Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded
 

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Subj:     Redneck Christmas Lights (S522c in Redneck-Supp)
          From: drgolfmd on 1/19/2007
 You can view these Redneck Christmas Lights by clicking 'HERE'.
 
 

 Did you hear about the moron who went elephant hunting?
 He got a hernia carrying the decoys.

 A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while
 fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
 

From some L.A. paper, in a column by Roger Simon:
 A recently released federal study, however, showed that 50% of
 all hunting accidents come from hunters falling out of trees.

From: RFSlick on 98-03-26
 A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs
 for the day.  That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering
 under an eight-point buck...  "Where's Harry?" ... asked
 another hunter.

 "He fainted a couple miles up the trail," Harry's partner
 answered.

 "You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?"

 "A tough call," said the hunter. "But I figured no one is
 going to steal Harry."

In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a
    hunting license.

From: humorlist-digest V2 #133 on 98-05-28
 "Vegetarian" - Indian word for "lousy hunter"

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #252 on 98-06-06
 Women are like guns, keep one around long enough
 and your going to want to shoot it.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/1/2007 (S559b)
 First Guy: "Hey, if you went camping with another guy and
             woke up with Vaseline around your butt hole,
             would you tell anyone?"
 Second Guy: "Hell no!"
 First Guy: "Want to go camping?"

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...........................From Smiley_Central.
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