Other Sports Jokes
(Includes 51 jokes and articles, 26850n,45,cf)
Click "Here" for Other_Sports-Supp
AGAG Animation Gallery
Also see ACCIDENT1
- 'Its A Bad
BICYCLE file - 'Why Bicycle Shorts Are Always Black!!'
BIRTHDAY file- 'Wife Takes Husband To Strip Club'
FAT file - 'Americans At A Chinese Soccer Stadium'
Gay file - 'Football-Pool'
HANDICAP-SUPP- 'Strongest Dad In The World'
HEAD-AD-SUPP2- 'The Athlete Machine - Red Bull Kluge' - Movie
JOBS file - 'Worker's Favorite Sports'
JOBS-SUPP - 'Office Hacky Sack' - Movie
MOVIES2 file - 'Larry Griswold On The Frank Sinatra Show' - Movie
OTR-NATIONS - 'Mieders Alpine Roller Coaster w/No Brakes' - Movie
QUOTES-CMD-SP- 'Crazy World by Chris Rock'
.........RIDDLE SUPP2 -.'A What Am I Riddle #6'
SEX3 file - 'Trojan Games'
SWIMMING file- 'Bad Day At The Office'
THOUGHTS-SLLY- 'Exercise Tips'
The Story of Panyee FC (S740 in Anian-Supp)
From: Fragg.me on 3/21/2011
and From: Wimp.com
This is a commercial for the
Thai Military Bank, though
you wouldn't know it if their logo wasn't at the end of
the commercial. The video tells the true documentary-style
story of the Panyee youth football club. In 1986, a group
of kids living in Koh Panyee, a floating town in the south
of Thailand without a scrap of dirt on it, decided they
were sick of just watching soccer on TV - they wanted to
play it themselves. They didn't let the lack of field
space stop them, however, and their youth soccer league
went on to become one of Thailand's most successful. This
five minutes film manages to pack in all the drama that a
youth sports movie like the Mighty Ducks would have to
offer, only it's real and it's a tear-jerker.
Click on the above source, or
for my copy, to see
this great, true story.
Bruce Lee Plays Ping Pong With Nunchucks
on 3/19/2011 (S740 in Phone-Supp)
This ad for a Nokia N96 phone
features a digitally inserted
Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nunchucks. Click on
either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see this amazing
ping pong match.
Pole Dancing Like You've Never Seen It (S701b)
This European video is a magnificent
example of pole
dancing gone formal. How this couple supports them-
selves in the air seems impossible. Click on the
above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see this
Rear-view From A Top Alcohol Dragster
on 3/29/2010 (S689b in Cars-Supp2)
||The first video is a view
backwards from the wing struts.
||The second video is a
backwards from the nose.
The Big Kite...Amazing (S585)
From: darrellvip on 4/7/2008
What these eighty-two skydivers
accomplish in this movie seems
impossible. Click 'HERE' to see this amazing movie.
Subj: Minnesotans Learn About New Sports (S449)
From: DoctorDebt on 8/20/2005
Two Minnesotans walk into a pet
shop in Dingle. They head to
the bird section and Sven says to Hans, "Dat's dem."
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
"Yeah, we'll take four of dem
dere little budgies in dat cage
up dere," says Sven.
The owner puts the budgies in
a paper bag. Hans and Sven pay
for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pickup and
drive to the top of the Conor Pass. At the Conor Pass, Sven
looks down at the 1000 ft. drop and says, "Dis looks like a
grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on
his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Hans watches as Sven
falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of
his best pal, Hans shakes his
head and says, "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."
BUT WAIT!!!! .. there's MORE!
Moments later Ole arrives up
at Conor Pass. He's been to the
pet shop, too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying
another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
"Hi, Hans. Watch dis,"
Ole says. He takes a parrot from
the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Hans
watches as, half way down, Ole takes the gun and shoots the
parrot. Ole continues to plummet down and down until he hits
the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Hans shakes his head and says,
"And I'm never trying dat
BUT WAIT!!!! ... There's MORE!!!
Hans is just getting over the
shock of losing two friends
when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is
carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Lars
then grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head
and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and
down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Hans shakes his head.
"First der was Sven with
his budgie jumping, den Ole parrotshooting ...... and now
Lars is hengliding..."
Trojan Games (S354b, S508b in Sex3)
From: DoctorDebt on 11/7/2003
and From: darrell94590 on 10/16/2006
Trojan Games - Pelvic Power Lifting - Bucharest 2003
If Trojan condoms was sponsoring
the Olympics, this is one
game that they would definitely want to sponsor. You can
view this funny, dirty movie at the source above, or on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Buying Your Son A Set Of Weights (S436)
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/1/2005
Somewhat skeptical of his son's
newfound determination to
become the next Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless
followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department.
"Please, Dad," whined the boy,
"I promise I'll use them
"I don't know, Michael. It's
really a big commitment on your
part," the father pointed out.
"They're not cheap either."
"I'll use them Dad, I promise. You'll see."
Finally won over, the father
paid for the equipment and
headed for the door.
From the corner of the store
he heard his son yell, "What!
You mean I have to carry them to the car?!"
Redneck Bungee-Jumping (S525c)
This 2,500 KB movie looks like
a lot of scary fun. You can
view it on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Memorable Sports Comments (S377b)
From: Imogenelumen on 4/4/2004
Here are the top ten comments
made by sports commentators
that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator
at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk
Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch
this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator:
"This is really a
lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since
I once mounted her mother."
3. Grand Prix Race Announcer:
"The lead car is absolutely,
truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly
identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."
4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I
owe a lot to my parents,
especially my mother and father."
5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure
there have been injuries
and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really
6. Baseball announcer: "If history
repeats itself, I should
think we can expect the same thing again."
7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles
a lot and the opposition
doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV
Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that
nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the
cox of the Oxford crew."
9. Metro Radio, College Football:
"Julian Dicks is everywhere.
It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
10. US Open TV Commentator: "One
of the reasons Arnie Palmer
is playing so well is that, before each final round, his
wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God,
what have I just said."
Buggy Rollin' Down A Mountain Road (S674)
From: tom on 12/11/2009
||Picture from Gizmag.com|
Rollin' is a fledgling sport that takes in-line
skating to the extreme by adding wheels to a full-body
armature so that every possible point of contact between
you and the ground is covered.
Wanna go for a ride? Click
on the above source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, and get ready for a wild ride.
Subj: Woman Writes In Diary About Workouts
From: flovilla on 5/28/2001
This is dedicated to every woman
who ever attempted to get
into a regular workout routine. A must read!
For my fiftieth birthday this
year, my husband (the dear)
purchased a week of personal training at the local health
club for me. Although I am still in great shape since
playing on my high school softball team, I decided it would
be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my
reservations with a personal
trainer I'll call Bruce, who identified himself as a 26-year-
old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and
swimwear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to
get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to
chart my progress.
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of bed, but
found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health
club to find Bruce waiting for me. He is something of a
Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling
white smile. Woo Hoo!! Bruce gave me a tour and showed
me the machines.
He took my pulse after five minutes
on the treadmill. He
was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it
to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobics outfit. I
enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted
his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring.
Bruce was encouraging as I did
my sit-ups, although my gut
was already aching from holding it in the whole time he
was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out
the door. Bruce made me lie on my back and push a heavy
iron bar into the air - then he put weights on it! My
legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made
the full mile. Bruce's rewarding smile made it all
worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth-
brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth
over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.
Driving was OK as long as I didn't
try to steer or stop.
I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce
was impatient with me,insisting that my screams bothered
other club members. His voice is a little too perky for
early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this
nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when
I got on the treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair
monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine
to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?
Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy
life. He said some other shit too.
Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth
exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a
full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late,
it took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce took me to
work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I
ran and hid in the men's room. He sent Lars to find
me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine
- which I sank.
I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human being has
ever hated any other human being in the history of the
world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader wanna-
be bastard. If there was a part of my body I could move
without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Bruce
wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps!
And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me
the ?@#$*~ barbells or anything that weighs more than a
sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the sadist
school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from,
you Nazi bastard).
The treadmill flung me off and
I landed on a health and
nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone
softer,like the drama coach or the choir director?
Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his
grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up
today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the
machine with my planner. However,I lacked the strength
to even use the TV remote and ended up watching eleven
straight hours of the *$@#? Weather Channel.
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today
so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will
also pray that next year my husband (the BASTARD) will
choose a gift for me that is fun * like a root canal
or a hysterectomy.
Subj: Short Other Sports
Greatest Waterslide Stunt Ever (S734)
From: darrellvip on 2/1/2011
Photo from YouTube.com...
The above video clip showing a man shooting
Umbro - Banned Commercial - Sexy Soccer (S734d)
2010 World Roller Speed Skating
From: Bonehead Of The Day Award on 1/8/2011
Icelandic Soccer Toilet Celebration (S712b)
Don't Go To The Doctor In June/July (S704b)
From: darrellvip on 7/13/2010(in Preg-Supp)
Photo from YouTube.com...
Outstanding Armless Snooker Player (S698)
From: Wimp.com (in Handicappd-Supp)
Kickball: Where The XX Rules (S694)
By Suzi Parker on 5/2/2010
From: Rosie Switzer on Facebook
Amazing Ping Pong Match (S688)
From: ginafm on 3/24/2010
Photo from YouTube.com
Longboarding: Let Go (S682)
Airplane To Airplane Skydive (S671)
From: Wimp.com on 11/17/2009
Kite Surfer Flies Over Pier (S671)
From: Wimp.com on 11/18/2009
Remote Controlled Bowling Ball (S670b)
From: Wimp.com on 11/10/2009
Best Pool Shot By A Naked White Chick
on 10/23/2009 (S668b, S807)
Strange Bowling (S649b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/27/2009
Photo from YouTube.com
Unusual Ice Skating Contest (S646b)
Kings Firecrackers (S644)
Click on the above source to
see this is an
amazing showcase of athletic ability!!!
Andy Capp Comic Strip (S639)
By Reg Smythe
From: WashingtonPost.com on 4/10/2009
The Juggler (S613c in Illusions18)
Be Careful Where You Parasurf (S596)
Subj: Romanian Football Moat (S310b)
From: jerry on 1/6/2003
A Romanian football club, fed up with "rowdy fans," is
planning to install a crocodile-filled moat around the
playing field to keep fans out.
Club chairman Alexandra Cringus
said: "This is not a joke.
We can get crocodiles easy enough and feed them on meat
from the local abattoir. The ditch is planned to be wide
enough that no one could manage to jump over it. Anyone
who attempted to do so would have to deal with the crocs.
Ananova (UK) 3-Jan-03
Ball Control (S587)
By Tim Nolan
From: ginafm on 4/20/2008
The Ping-Pong Match (S581b)
Subj: Burning Soccer Fan (S201)
From: jerry on 6/17/2002
Bonehead award four goes to a South Korean man who set
fire to himself, and died, so that he could become "a
ghost and be the 12th player" for the Korean soccer
team in the World Cup game against Portugal. Korea
did beat Portugal one to zip.
CNN Sports Illustrated 14-Jun-02
Strength In Poland (S579b)
From: ginafm on 2/25/2008
and From: tom on 4/13/2009
Texas Ditch Surfing (S575 in Red-Supp)
From: rfslick on 1/18/2008
(See 'Shark Surfing' in SWIMMING)
Subj: Thinking About Exercising (S255b)
From: pns on 12/15/2001
Researchers from the Cleveland Clinic Foundation told a
Society for Neuroscience meeting in November in San Diego
that their study had found that muscles were strengthened
35 percent and 13 percent, respectively, among two groups
of people who merely concentrated on imagining they were
exercising (vs. no increase at all by control groups that
neither exercised nor imagined exercise).
Korean Freestyle Slalom Rollerblading (S570)
Mountain Wingsuit (S565)
Extreme Building Jumpers (S527)
Kickups (S509b in Games2)
|Soccer ball from
Amazing Archer (S503c)
Crevasse Crossing (S501b)
From: auntiegah on 8/25/2006
From: NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC REPORT
Lego Stadium (S486c)
(See 'Lego Church' in Church
This is a model of the Allianz
Arena in Bayern, Germany made
out of over 400,000 Lego bricks.
The original Allianz Arena in
Bayern, Germany was made as a
replacement for the Olympic stadium made three decades earlier.
It was built for the FIFA World Cup 2006 soccer matches.
You can view this Lego Stadium
at the source above, or on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
Ping-Pong Match (S483b)
GoalPoker Penalty Strip (S474)
Elastic Enthusiastic (S471c)
by Angelo Plessas
From:igiggle on 1/25/2006
Stretching After Jogging (S459)
Iron Man Competition (S453b)
From: flovilla on 9/23/2005
Hummer Football (S565b in Games2-Supp)
Skateboarding Pete The Dog (S600c)
From:LABLaughsClean on 7/7/2008(in dog-supp)
Photo from YouTube...
From: RFSlick on 8/25/2001 (S239)
Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
-- Carmen Boyle, Olympic luge gold medal
From: mombear1@ on 9/2/2001 (S240)
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling.
From: igiggle on 7/11/2004 (S390)
If you get three strikes in a row in bowling,
it's called a turkey.
Bowling was originally played
with nine pins. An
anti-gambling law was passed in colonial Connecticut
more than 150 years ago making "bowling at nine pins"
illegal. So to get around the law, bowlers added
a pin. And it's been 10 pins ever since.
From: KMACINTY on 8/13/2002 (S289b)
Pat Glenn - Weightlifting Commentator, "This is Gregoriava
from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was
Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat
Race 1977, "Ah, isn't that
nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the
cox of the Oxford crew."
From: igiggle on 6/7/2003 (S332b)
As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically
fit - and parking as close to the stadium as possible.
-- Bill Vaughan
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 4/11/2005
Just do what you do best. -- Red Auerbach
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 8/21/2005
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have
had years and years of training can, using only their hands
and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of
the world." -- Dave Barry
|Fencing smileys from