.
 
>>>
Subj:     Library Jokes
                 (Includes 33 jokes and articles, 09995n,25,cf,wXT2b,8)

Librarian from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Charlie Brown Reads A Book In Bed - Drawing (S921)
.........................The Internet Archive Web Site (S857)
.........................The Old Cincinnati Library - Web Page w/10 Photos  (S931)
.........................TED - Lost Codex Of Archimedes - Video (S804)
.........................Book Sculpture - Photo (S944)
.........................Finding A Seat In A Crowded Library (S869)
.........................It's A Book - By Lane Smith - Video  (S743)
.........................Mother Goose And Grimm Comic Strip (S947)
.........................The Future Of Publishing - Video (S725)
.........................When Does The Library Open?
.........................Books Vs Tablets Comic Strip (S912d)
.........................The Pun Reference Library (S402b)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S712)
.........................The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything (S369b)
.........................Bizarro Comic Strip (DU)
.........................B.O.O.K
.........................Library Book - Cartoon (S453)
.........................Police Make Shocking Discovery In Detroit (S845)
.........................Stephen King Quote/Sign (S850)
.........................Why Do We Need Libraries? - Drawing (DU)
.........................Short Library Jokes
..............................Library Cake (S977)
..............................Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S914)
..............................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S834)
..............................Pickles Comic Strip III (S912)
..............................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip II (S845)
..............................Shoe Comic Strip (S886)
..............................Dennis the Menace (S669b)
..............................Lunch At The Library (S627b)
..............................Bizarro Comic Strip II (DU)
..............................Garfield Comic Strip (S804)
..............................Agnes Comic Strip (DU)

Also see BOTTLE CAPS  - 'Read Books... Not Bottlecaps'
         CHRISTMAS2   - 'Book Christmas Tree' - Photo
         FACTS5 file  - 'Interesting Facts About Ernest Hemingway' - Photo
         HUNTING-CAMP - 'Camping Store Sign'
         PL-CINT-SCLD2- 'Buying Titanic Or My Life'
.........POLIT-SUPP2  - 'Donald Trump Children's Book' On Jimmy Kimmel Live

============================================================Top
Subj:     Charlie Brown Reads A Book In Bed (S921)
          From: Phyllis Lazarek on Facebook
 Source: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/fe/
.........37/26/fe3726589b289899d035dff7dc21a790.jpg
.
.
.

Top
Subj:     The Internet Archive (S857)
          Founded by Brewster Kahle in 1996
Drawing from Wikipedia...
 Source1: http://archive.org/
 Source2: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Archive
 Source3: http://www.youtube.com/embed/M6rsPgnA87Q
 Source4: http://www.wimp.com/internetarchive/

 (Also see 'Internet Archive Games' in Games2-Supp2)

 The Internet Archive is a non-profit digital library with
 the stated mission of 'universal access to all knowledge.'
 It provides permanent storage of and free public access to
 collections of digitized materials, including websites,
 music, moving images, and nearly three million public-
 domain books. As of October 2012, its collection topped 10
 petabytes. In addition to its archiving function, the Archive
 is an activist organization, advocating for a free and open
 Internet. It was founded by Brewster Kahle in 1996.

 Click on Source1 to visit the most amazing site on the
 internet.
.
Sources3 and 4 are great introductions to the
 Internet Archive.
.
 This is the first time in JokeLibrary.net that I
 have had a thumbnail picture without an attached
 file.  This site is important.  I went to the
 Archive and clicked on Web sites and entered
 JokeLibrary.net.  They have 70 copies of my site
 dating bact to May 11,2005.  If you want to look-up
 a website, song, video, or book, it's probably on
 this site.  This site is awesome.

Top
Subj:     The Old Cincinnati Library  (S931d)
          Written By MessyNessy
          From: Clarisa Roberts on Facebook
 Source: http://www.messynessychic.com/2014/06/17/seriously-though-
.........how-did-the-most-beautiful-library-in-america-get-demolished/
.
..........
.
..........Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy,
..........to learn about the most beautiful library in USA.
.
Top
Subj:     TED - Lost Codex Of Archimedes (S804d)
          By William Noel on 6/3/2012
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/VqtEppZmjfw
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/codexarchimedes/

 This TED video is a fascinating story by William Noel,
 a ancient books curator.  How do you read a two-
 thousand-year-old manuscript that has been erased, cut
 up, written on and painted over?  You use a powerful
 particle accelerator, of course!  The manuscript is
 behind the Archimedes palimpsest, a Byzantine prayer
 book.  It containing previously-unknown original writings
 from ancient Greek mathematician Archimedes and others.

 Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see
 this amazing, interesting story from TED.

Top
Subj:     Book Sculpture (S944)
          Artist: Luciana Frigerio
 Source: http://thedesigninspiration.com/articles/
.........beautiful-sculptures-on-folded-book-art/
.
.....
.
.
Top
Subj:     Finding A Seat In A Crowded Library (S869)
          From: AFine963 on 9/1/2013

 A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded library.
 He asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if
 I sit beside you?"

 The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND
 THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

 All the students in the library started staring at the guy.
 He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.

 After a couple of minutes, the  girl walked quietly to the
 guy's table and said with a laugh "I study psychology, and
 I know what a man is thinking.  I guess you felt embarrassed,
 right?

 The guy then responded with a loud voice: $500 FOR ONE NIGHT?
 THAT 'S TOO MUCH!

 All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
 The guy whispered in her ear: "I study law, and I know how to
 screw people."

Top
Subj:     It's A Book - By Lane Smith  (S743d)
          From: Wimp.com on 4/06/2011
 Source1: http://www.wimp.com/abook/
 Source2: http://www.youtube.com/embed/x4BK_2VULCU

 Watch as a book-loving ape and a tech-savvy donkey exchange
 words.  The best-selling author, Lane Smith, has created
 this adorable nod to traditional books.  Click 'HERE' to
 see this cute, short video.

Top
Subj:     Mother Goose And Grimm Comic Strip (S947)
          By Mike Peters on 2/10/2015
 Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php
.
.
.
.
Top
Subj:     The Future Of Publishing (S725d)
          From: Wimp.com on 12/3/2010
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/Weq_sHxghcg
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/entirevideo/

 This video was prepared by the UK branch of Dorling
 Kindersley Books and produced by Khaki Films
 (http://www.thekhakigroup.com/).  Originally meant
 solely for a DK sales conference, the video was such
 a hit internally that it is now being shared externally.
 We hope you enjoy it (and make sure you watch it up to
 at least the halfway point, there's a surprise!).
 Click 'HERE' to see this very ingenious video.
 

Top
Subj:     When Does The Library Open?
          From: Max's Humor Archive on 07/15/97

 "What time does the library open?" the man on the phone
 asked.

 "Nine A.M." came the reply.  "And what's the idea of
 calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask
 a question like that?"

 "Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed
 voice.

 "No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said.  "Why do
 you want to get in before nine A.M.?"

 "Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly.  "I
 want to get out!"

Top
Subj:     Books Vs Tablets Comic Strip (S912d)
          Created by TheAwkardYeti.com
          From: George Takei on 7/10/2014
 Source: http://www.theawkwardyeti.com/books
.
.
.
Top
Subj:     The Pun Reference Library (S402b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 9/21/2004

 Falling Trees: Tim Burr
 Long Walk: Miss D. Bus(j)
 Gardening With The Ex-President: Rose Bush*
 Under the Bleachers: Seymour Butts(l)
 The Pullman Sleeper: Bertha Buv*
 A Whole Lot of Cats: Kitt N. Caboodle
 Say The Magic Word: Abby Cadabra*
 How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes: Johnny Cake*
 Desert Crossing: I. Rhoda Camel
 Star Spangled Barrio: Jose Canusee*
 Gambling: Monty Carlos
 Hertz, Don't It?: Lisa Carr*
 I Need Insurance: Justin Case
 Money Management: Owen Cash(o)
 Ship Mysteries: Marie Celeste
 The Sweat Shop: Hiram Cheap*
 Cosmetology: Rosie Cheeks*
 Musical Gunfighters: The Okay Chorale
 I Like Fish: Ann Chovie
 Happy New Year!: Mary Christmas
 The Miracle Drug: Penny Cillin*
 Life in Chicago: Wendy City
 The Ham Radio Primer: Loudon Clear*
 Cheaper than IBM: P.C. Clone(l)
 You Wash, I'll Dry: Terry Cloth*
 I Was a Cloakroom Attendant: Mahatma Coate(1)
 The Greasy Spoon: Chris Coe*
 Snakes of the World: Anna Conda

Top
(S712)
     by John Graziano on 9/09/2010
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2010/09/09
.
................
..
.
Top
Subj:     The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything (S369b)
          From: igiggle on 2/17/2004
         From: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
 Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki
      /The_Answer_to_Life,_the_Universe,_and_Everything

 Warning: Wikipedia contains spoilers.

 The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and
 Everything, as given by the supercomputer Deep Thought to a
 group of mice in Douglas Adams's comic science fiction series
 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is "42".  According to
 the Guide, mice are 3-dimensional profiles of a pan-dimensional,
 hyper-intelligent race of beings. They built Deep Thought, the
 second greatest computer of all time and space, to tell them
 the answer to the question of life, the universe and everything.
 After seven and a half million years the computer divulges the
 answer: 42.
 
 
"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to
show for seven and a half million years' work?" "I checked
it very thoroughly," said the computer, "and that quite
definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite
honest with you, is that you've never actually known what
the question is."

 The computer informs the researchers that it will build them
 a second and greater computer, incorporating living beings as
 part of its computational matrix, to tell them what the question
 is. That computer was called Earth and was so big that it was
 often mistaken for a planet. The question was lost minutes
 before it was to be outputted, due to the Vogons' demolition of
 the Earth, supposedly to build a hyperspace bypass. (Later in
 the series, it is revealed that the Vogons had been hired to
 destroy the Earth by a consortium of philosophers and
 psychiatrists who feared for their jobs should the meaning of
 life become common knowledge.)

 Already booked for a round of talk-show appearances to reveal
 the Question, the mice become desperate to discover it. During
 a meeting with Arthur Dent and his companions on the planet
 Magrathea, Frankie and Benjy mouse reveal a plan to extract
 the ultimate question from Arthur's brain. Since this involves
 removing and dicing his brain, Arthur is unwilling to go along
 with the plan. He manages to escape from them unscathed.

 Lacking a real answer, the mice proposed to use "How many roads
 must a man walk down?" as the question for talk-shows (having
 rejected the question, "What's yellow and dangerous?" - actually
 a riddle whose answer, not given by Adams, is "Shark-infested
 custard").

 At the end of the book The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
 (volume 2 of the Hitchhiker's trilogy), Arthur Dent (as the last
 human to have left the Earth before its destruction, and there-
 fore the portion of the computer matrix most likely to hold the
 question) attempts to discover the Question by extracting it
 from his unconscious mind, through pulling Scrabble letters at
 random out of a sack. The result is the sentence "WHAT DO YOU
 GET IF YOU MULTIPLY SIX BY NINE".
 
 
"Six by nine. Forty-two."
 

"That's it. That's all there is."

 Since 6 x 9 = 54, this being the question would imply that the
 universe is bizarre and irrational; on the other hand, there
 is no proof that this was the actual question. After all, Arthur
 Dent comprised only a minuscule fragment of the vast and complex
 computer matrix that was the Earth, and besides, it was stated
 that the computer's run had not finished when it was destroyed.
 In addition, Arthur and Ford realized that the original ape-like
 inhabitants of Earth were displaced by the Golgafrinchans, which
 could account for the irrational nature of the question in Arthur's
 mind (as he himself is a descendant of the Golgafrinchans).

 However, it was later pointed out that 6 x 9 = 42 if the
 calculations are performed in base 13, not base 10. Douglas Adams
 was not aware of this at the time, and has denied that base 13
 has anything to do with it.

 In the original radio series, this scene occurs at the end of the
 first series (Fit the Sixth). On discovering the question, Arthur
 Dent remarks "I always said there was something fundamentally
 wrong with the universe.".
 

 "42" is often used in the same vein as a metasyntactic variable;
 42 is often used in testing programs as a common initializer for
 integer variables.

 Google has recently added a calculator function to its search
 engine, which contains a formula for the question answer to life
 the universe and everything.
 

 Computer programmers' joke

 There is a joke amongst computer programmers that Deep Thought
 may have had some order of operations issues. The following code
 in the programming language C defines the macrosSIX as "1 + 5"
 and NINE as "8 + 1", and then performs the computation "SIX * NINE".
 It returns the answer "42", because "SIX * NINE" is expanded by
 the computer to "1 + 5 * 8 + 1", and the multiplication takes
 precedence over the additions. (A macro is not a variable.)
 
 
#include ?stdio.h>

#define SIX    1 + 5
#define NINE   8 + 1

int main()
{
    printf( "The meaning of life: %d\n", SIX * NINE );
    return( 0 );
}

 See also: Meaning of life
 

 External links

 Douglas Adams himself had also something to say on this subject;
 see this messageGoogle calculator's calculation of "Answer
 To Life The Universe And Everything".

Top
Subj:     Bizarro Comic Strip (DU)
          By Dan Piraro on 4/1/2009
Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/april-1-2009/
.
...............
.
.
Top
Subj:     B.O.O.K
          From: Anaise on 98-06-11

 Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge
 device, trade-named -- BOOK.

 BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no
 wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be
 connected or switched on.  It's so easy to use, even a
 child can operate it.

 Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even
 sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful
 enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

 Here's how it works:

 BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper
 (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of
 information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit
 device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their
 correct sequence.

 Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use
 both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density
 and cutting costs.  Experts are divided on the prospects
 for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS
 with more information simply use more pages.  Each sheet is
 scanned optically, registering information directly into
 your brain.  A flick of the finger takes you to the next
 sheet.

 BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening
 it.

 BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like
 other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled
 on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on
 a hard surface.  The "browse" feature allows you to move
 instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you
 wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points
 the exact location of any selected information for instant
 retrieval.

 An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to
 the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even
 if the BOOK has been closed.  BOOKmarks fit universal
 design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in
 BOOKs by various manufacturers.  Conversely, numerous BOOK
 markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to
 store numerous views at once. The number is limited only
 by the number of pages in the BOOK.  You can also make
 personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional
 programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic
 Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

 Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as
 a precursor of a new entertainment wave.  BOOK's appeal
 seems so certain that thousands of content creators have
 committed to the platform and investors are reportedly
 flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Top
Subj:     Library Book - Cartoon (S453)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 9/16/2005
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
.
..........
.
.
Top
Subj:.....Police Make Shocking Discovery In Detroit (S845)
          From: tom on 3/22/2013
 Source: http://ingunowners.com/forums/general_political_discussion/
.........283183-police_make_shocking_discovery_in_detroit.html
.
BULLETIN
.
 *
 Police in Detroit last night announced the discovery of
 an arms cache of 200 fully-automatic rifles with 25,000
 rounds of ammunition, two tons of heroin, and $5,000,000
 in forged US banknotes, all in a semi-detached house
 behind the Public Library on Woodward Ave.
 *
 Local residents were stunned. A community spokesman said:
 "We're all shocked; we never knew we had a library."
 *

Top
Subj:     Stephen King Quote/Sign (S850)
          From: Ruby Lou on Facebook on 2/4/2012
 Source: http://www.sawdustcityllc.com/books-are-
.........a-uniquely-portable-magic-stephen-king/
.
...
.
...You can buy this wooden sign from the above source for $22.00.
.
..
Top
Subj:     Why Do We Need Libraries? (DU)
          From: Denise Cullen on Facebook on 8/25/2015
 Source: https://twitter.com/savelincslibs
.
...
.
.
Top
Subj:     Short Library Jokes
 

Top
Subj:     Library Cake (S977)
          From: 96.5 KOIT on Facebook
 Source: http://io9.com/with-this-library-cake-you-
.........can-literally-eat-yourself-1627319004
.
..........
.
.
Top
Subj:     Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S914)
          By Wiley Miller on 7/24/2014
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2014/07/24
.
.
.

Top
Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S834)
          By Brian Crane on 12/30/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2012/12/30
 Click 'HERE' to see this Sunday comic strip discuss
 reading a book three times in your life.
 

Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip III (S912)
          By Brian Crane on 07/03/2014
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2014/07/03
.
.
.

Top
Subj:     Pickles Sunday Comic Strip II (S845)
          By Brian Crane on 3/17/2013
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2013/03/17
 In this wonderful Sunday comic strip, grandson Nelson
 asks grandpa Earl why he 'reads so much.'  Click 'HERE'
 to see learn Earl's answer and also Nelson's response.
 

Top
Subj:     Shoe Comic Strip (S886d)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 12/27/2013
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2013/12/27
.
.
.

Top
Subj:     Dennis the Menace (S669b)
          By Hank Ketcham on 11/6/2009
..........At: http://comicskingdom.com/dennis-the-menace
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute cartoon about going to the library.
 

Top
Subj:     Lunch At The Library (S627b)
          From: Joe Fallon on 1/12/2008
 Man walks into the library.  He goes to the lady at the
 check-out desk and says "I'll have a cheese burger, order
 of fries, and a small coke."

 The librarian says "Sir.  This is a library."

 The man leans toward her and whispers "Sorry.  I'll have
 a cheese burger, order of fries, and a small coke."

Top
Subj:     Bizarro Comic Strip II (DU)
          By Dan Piraro on 3/24/2014
Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/march-24-2014/
.
..........
.
..
Top
Subj:     Garfield Comic Strip (S804)
          By Jim Davis on 6/2/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/garfield/2012/06/02
 Click 'HERE' to see Garfield discuss the timeless classic,
 "Alice in Wonderland."
.
.
Top
Subj:     Agnes Comic Strip (DU)
          by Tony Cochran on 12/30/2008
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/agnes/2008/12/30
.
.
..
 

From: igiggle on 8/14/2004 (S394b)
 Never lend books - nobody ever returns them;
 the only books I have in my library are those
 which people have lent me.  -- Anatole France
 

 Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every
 Dewey-decimal category.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
.
............................From Smiley Faces GIFs.
.
.