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Subj:     Funny Lists-Supp
                 (Includes 9 jokes and articles, 11 1034n,5,cf,wXT4,4)

Bookwork from
Millanimations
Includes the following:  List Cartoon (DU)
.........................Top Ten Of Everything; Interesting (S677)
.........................Martha Stewart Type List (S292b)
.........................Assassination Scenes (S656b)
.........................The World's Shortest Books III (S676b)
.........................Joe And Joseph (S655b)
.........................Top 10 Reasons There Are No Black NASCAR Drivers (S450b)
.........................Rocks And Stones (S653b)
.........................30 Harsh Things A Woman can Say To A Naked Man (S361b)

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Subj:     List Cartoon (DU)
          From: TinyPic.com
 Source: http://i57.tinypic.com/2wf78te.gif
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Subj:     Top Ten Of Everything; Interesting (S677)
          From: tom on 1/3/2010
Drawing from MarlerBlog.com

 Click 'HERE' to see these thirty-four fascinating lists
 from geography, top countries, vacation spots, auto facts,
 business & consumerism, and much, much more.

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Subj:     Martha Stewart Type List (S292b)
          From: mombear1 on 8/29/2002

  1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
  2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
  3. Cool Whip will condition your hair in 15 min
  4. Mayonnaise will kill lice; it will also condition your hair.
  5. Spike your hair (with Close-Up tooth paste, it will
     also give it a tint)
  6. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry,
     peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads.
  7. Shiny hair-use brewed Lipton Tea.
  8. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
  9. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
 10. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
 11. Arthritis? WD-40! Spray the area and rub it in; kills
     insect stings too.  It was demonstrated. Guess it's no
     worse than some of the chemicals we are exposed to.
 12. Bee stings - meat tenderizer (that one is well known)
 13. Chigger bite - Preparation H
 14. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
 15. Paper cut - Krazy Glue or Chap Stick.  Glue is used
     instead of sutures at most hospitals.
 16. Sore nipples - (Nursing Mothers) Chap Stick or a wet
     Lipton tea bag.
 17. Stinky feet - Jell-O!! A woman said she actually had
     stinky feet and her feet were put in a pan of Jell-O!
 18. Athlete feet - cornstarch
 19. Fungus on toenails or fingernails Vick's Vapor Rub
 20. Kool-Aid to clean dishwasher pipes.  Just put in the
     detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean
     a toilet....and we drink this stuff.
 21. Kool-Aid also can be used as a dye in paint.
 22. Kool-Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint,
     "Your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if
     they eat it!"
 23. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's!  Wipe
     off with a coffee filter paper.
 24. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
 25. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands!
     Keep a can in your garage for your hubby.
 26. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls.
 27. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with
     cornstarch and watch them slide on.
 28. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar!
 29. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring.  Heat the
     Crisco in the microwave, pour into an empty film container
     and mix with the food color of your choice!
 30. Tie Dyed T-Shirt - mix a solution of Kool-Aid in a
     container, tie a rubber band around a section of the
     t-shirt and soak.
 31. Stress buster - preferably for a work group - take a
     roll of scotch tape and a packet of straws and build
     a tower without talking to each other!
 32. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club
     soda and 1/2 cup of Milk of Magnesia, soak for 20 min
     and let dry, will last for years!
 33. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
 34. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with
     Colgate toothpaste.
 35. Stay-Free Maxi Pads- clean window, floors, just stick
     to the palm of your hands and work! Can also be used
     as knee pad.
 36. Pampers as an absorbent! Remove stains from the carpet
     with club soda, and a Pamper to absorb.
 37. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb
     into the salt.
 38. To remove wax, take a paper towel and iron it over the
     wax stain-it will absorb into the towel.
 39. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with peanut butter!
 40. Baked on food-fill container with water, get a sheet of
     Bounce from the laundry room and the static from the
     Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to
     it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use two Efferdent
     tablets, soak overnight!
 41. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
 42. Dirty grout - Listerine
 43. Stains on clothes - Colgate.
 44. Grass stains - Karo Syrup!
 45. Grease stains- Coca Cola, it will also remove grease
     stains from the driveway overnight.  We know it will
     take corrosion from batteries!
 46. Sweat stains - Efferdent, or vinegar
 47. Use a Maxi-Pad in your cap as a sweat band!
 48. Fleas in your carpet? 20-Mule-Team Borax-sprinkle and
     let stand for 24 hours.

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Subj:     Assassination Scenes (S656b)
          From: Seattle Times on 7/27/2008
 Source: (Removed from superquiz.king-online.com)

 In what city was the person killed? (e.g., Jesse James.
 Answer: St. Joseph, Mo.)  Click 'HERE' to test your knowledge.
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 To see other Asimov quizes click on .
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Subj:     The World's Shortest Books III (S676b)
          From: ginafm on 12/30/2009

 THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
   by Barack Obama
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 OTHER BLACK PEOPLE I'VE MET WHILE YACHTING
   by Tiger Woods
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 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
   by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
   Illustrated by Michael Moore
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 MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
   by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
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 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
   by Hillary Clinton
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 Sequel:
 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
   By Bill Clinton
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 MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
   by Osama Bin Laden
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 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT AMERICA
   by Michelle Obama
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 THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
   by Bill Gates
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 THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
   by Dennis Rodman
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 THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
   by Al Gore & John Kerry
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 AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
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 A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
   by Dr. J. Kevorkian
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 TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED, BEFORE ......
   by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel
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 GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
   by Mike Tyson
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 THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
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 MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
   by O. J. Simpson
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 HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
   by Ted Kennedy
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 MY BOOK OF MORALS
   by Bill Clinton with introduction
   by the Rev. Jesse Jackson
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 AND, JUST ADDED:

 Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
   By Nancy Pelosi

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Subj:     Joe And Joseph (S655b)
          From: KingFeatures on 7/10/2009
Drawing from KingFeatures.com
 Source: (Removed from superquiz.king-online.com)

 This Isaac Asimov's Super Quiz's subject is to identify
 these famous persons named Joe or Joseph. (e.g., Barack
 Obama's vice president. Answer: Joe Biden.)  Click 'HERE'
 to test your knowledge.
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 To see other Asimov quizes click on .
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Subj:     Top 10 Reasons There Are No Black NASCAR Drivers (S450b)
          From: darrell94590 on 8/31/2005

 David Letterman's top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers!!

 10) HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING.

  9) PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT.

  8) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC.

  7) PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON CAR WHILE HOLDING UP
     PANTS AT THE SAME TIME.

  6) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK DALE, JR.

  5) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE.

  4) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO.

  3) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC.

  2) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS.

 AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR:

  1) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN

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Subj:     Rocks And Stones (S653b)
          From: Seattle Times on 7/11/2008
 Source: (Removed from kingfeatures.com)

 Name the famous rock or stone.  (e.g., Rock that is also
 known as "the Pillars of Hercules."  Answer: Rock of
 Gibraltar.)  Click 'HERE' to test your knowledge.
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 To see other Asimov quizes click on .
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Subj:     30 Harsh Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man (S361b)
          From: The-Jokes.com
 Source: http://www.the-jokes.com/listjokes.php?id=Best

  1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
  2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
  3. Why don't we just cuddle?
  4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
  5. Make it dance.
  6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
  7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
  8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
  9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
 10. Oh no... a flash headache.
 11. (giggle and point)
 12. Can I be honest with you?
 13. How sweet, you brought incense.
 14. This explains your car.
 15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
 16. Why is God punishing me?
 17. At least this won't take long.
 18. I never saw one like that before.
 19. But it still works, right?
 20. It looks so unused.
 21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
 22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
 23. Are you cold?
 24. If you get me real drunk first.
 25. Is that an optical illusion?
 26. What is that?
 27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
 28. Does it come with an air pump?
 29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
 30. I guess this makes me the 'early bird.

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                           -(o o)-
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............................From Smiliemania.da
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