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Subj:     Banking And Money Jokes
                 (Includes 59 jokes and articles, 10 1034,10,cf,wYT3b4,3)

          Click "Here" for Banking-Supp
       Or Click "Here" for Banking-Supp2


Money and Time from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S675 in Supp2)
.........................Banker Goes Fishing (S275b in Supp2)
.........................Mount Rushmore Money By Paul Paquet (S843 in Supp2)
.........................Robbery At The Cirlce-K (S348b in Supp2)
.........................Credit Card RFID Theft - Video (S790 in Supp2)
.........................Amazing Mind Reader Reveals His 'Gift' - Vid (S821-Supp2)
.........................How Not To Do A Robbery (DU in Supp)
.........................How To Legally Rob A Bank - Video (S781 in Supp2)
.........................Money Facts (S448b in Supp2)
.........................Jessica Jackley: Poverty, Money, and Love-Video(738-Sup2)
.........................Red Tape At The Bank (S709b in Supp2)
.........................Bank Robbery Gone Wrong! - Videos (S691b in Supp2)
.........................Dollar Origami (S675 in Supp2)
.........................Marcus T. Cicero's Quotation About Money (S697b in Supp2)
.........................Identity Theft - NOT A Joke (S414 in Supp2)
.........................
.........................B.C. Comic Strip (S650b in Supp)
.........................10 Biggest Retirement Mistakes (S662 in Supp)
.........................A Stimulus Story (S647 in Supp)
.........................Candorville Comic Strip (S1034 in Supp)
.........................Fred Thompson On The Economy - Video (S622 in Supp)
.........................Inheriting From Sickly Father (S521b in Supp)
.........................Big Lottery Winners (S589c in Supp)
.........................An Old Lady's Letter To Her Bank (S610c in Supp)
.........................Dollar Koi Fish (S620 in Supp)
.........................Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die (S489b in Supp)
.........................Nobel Peace Prize Winner Brings Hope (S508c in Supp)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S625b in Supp)
.........................
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S665b)
.........................Taking Your Young Son To The Bank (S410b)
.........................Bizarro Cartoon (S1003)
.........................Money Riddle (S407b)
.........................The One Dollar Bill (S351b)
.........................Biker Wants To Open Checking Account (S369)
.........................Non Sequitur Cartoon (S918)
.........................New $200 Bill (DU)
.........................Alabama State Quarters (S344b)
.........................Do You Know Your Penny? - Photo (S421)
.........................Rules For Bank Robbers (DU)
.........................Bugs Bunny On Money - Drawing (S1011)
.........................Another Dumb Bank Robber (DU)
.........................How To Make A Ring From A One Dollar Bill - Web Page (S392b)
.........................Short Banking Jokes
..............................Dilbert Comic Strip (S819 in Supp2)
..............................The Born Loser Sunday Comic Strip (S795 in Supp2)
..............................Clay Bennett's Political Cartoons (S774 in Supp2)
..............................Doonesbury's Sunday Comic Strip (S762 in Supp2)
..............................Maxine, "The Economy Is So Bad...." (S761 in Supp2)
..............................Non Sequitur Sunday Comic Strip (S714b in Supp2)
..............................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S713 in Supp2)
..............................The New $100 Note Unveiling - Video (S693b in Supp2)
..............................Warren Buffet - PPS (S687b in Supp2)
..............................Financial Planning (S682b in Supp2)
..............................An Uneven Wealth Recovery (S850 in Supp2)
..............................
..............................Dilbert Comic Strip (S659 in Supp)
..............................U.S. Debt Clock (S648b in Supp)
..............................Dennis the Menace (S643c in Supp)
..............................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! III (S660 in Supp)
..............................Carlson Political Cartoon (S640c in Supp)
..............................Herman Comic Strip II (S640c in Supp)
..............................Herman Comic Strip (S639b in Supp)
..............................Beetle Bailey Comic Strips (S638c in Supp)
..............................Rugrats Comic Strip (S637 in Supp)
..............................Chip Bok Political Cartoon (S637c in Supp)
..............................What Exactly Is One Trillion Dollars? (S636b - Supp)
..............................Vocabulary Word For The Day, Liquidity (S630b -Supp)
..............................Momma Comic Strip (S622b in Supp)
..............................A Thomas Jefferson Quote On Banking (S621 in Supp)
..............................Frank And Ernest Comic Strip (S618b in Supp)
..............................Andy Capp Comic Strip II (S617b in Supp)
..............................The New Dollar Bill (S609 in Supp)
..............................Funny Money Quiz (S612 in Supp)
..............................The 'Brief' Safe (S614c in Supp)
..............................Andy Capp Comic Strip (S605c in Supp)
..............................Pooh Comic Strip (S602c in Supp)
..............................Where Bad Credit Hurts the Most (S599 in Supp)
..............................The Moneylender (SZ589b in Supp)
..............................The New Bush Coins (S583b in Supp)
..............................Bank Robber Shoots Witnesses (S580c in Supp)
..............................3M - Security Glass (S573b in Supp)
..............................Quarter Backs (S557 in Supp)
..............................Money And Manure (S533c in Supp)
..............................Penny And Money Quizes (S482b in Supp)
..............................Currency Exchange At Bank (S472c in Supp)
..............................Piggy Bank - Game (S460b in Supp)
..............................Money Problems Sign (S450 in Supp)
..............................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! II (S637c in Supp)
..............................
..............................States On A Five Dollar Bill (S337b)
..............................ATM Machine - Cartoon (390)
..............................More About States On A Five Dollar Bill (S340b)
..............................Old Zeis Cartoon (S1034)
..............................World's Worst Bank Robber (S296)
..............................ATM Scam (S275)

Also see ASIA file    - 'Asian Enters Currency Exchange'
......................- 'Banking Crisis In Japan'
         BLONDE2 file - 'Two Blonde Bank Robbers'
         CARS1 file   - 'A Blonde Borrows $5000 from Bank'
         CARS3 file   - 'Germans Buy German Cars In USA'
         CHURCH-SUPP  - 'The Twenty And The One'
         COLLEGE PROF - 'The Economics Professor And Socialism'
         CONTRACTOR   - '6-Year-Old Girl Helps At Construction Site'
         DATING3 file - 'Sending A Lady A Bottle Of Wine'
.........DOCTORS1 file- 'Rich Old Man Needs A New Heart'
         DOCTOR3 file - 'Seeing A Doctor About Passing Money'
         ELDERLY2     - 'Little Old Lady Meets Bank President'
.........FACTS2 file  - 'In Line At The Bank'
         FACTS3 file  - 'Dumb Bank Robber'
         FACTS4 file  - 'Carolina Bank Robber'
         FACTS5 file  - 'The Origin of Milled Coins'
......................- 'The Origin Of The Piggy Bank'
         FROG file    - 'Frog Wants Bank Load'
         GRAVEYARD    - 'Montana Rancher Dies'
.........IRISH1 file  - 'Irish Gang Robs A Bank'
         JOBS3 file   - 'Bank President Explains Success'
         MARRIAGE6    - 'Kissing Daddy Good-Bye'
         NATIONAL     - 'Money'
         NATIONAL2    - 'A Billion In Perspective...'
        OTH-ANIM-SUPP- 'Non Sequitur Comic Strip'
         REDNECK-SUPP - 'Lousiana Quarter'
         RELIGION file- 'B.C. Comic Strip'
         SWIMMING file- 'Morty And Saul Go Boating'
         TAXES file   - 'Man Massages Person In Bank Line'
         THO-LRN-SUPP2- 'What If Money Were No Object' - Video
         THOUGHTS-SLLY- 'Money'
         THO-TIME-SUPP- 'Comments Made In The Year 1955:'
         WAITER file  - 'Using A Two Dollar Bill At Taco Bell'
......................- 'Shoe Shop Next To French Restaurant'
......................- 'Treasury Secretary Has Expired Visa Card'

============================================================Top
(S665b)
     by John Graziano on 10/8/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2009/10/08
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Top
Subj:     Taking Your Young Son To The Bank (S410b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/26/2004

 A father took his young son with him to the bank to take care
 of some transactions. Since it was lunchtime, and the bank
 branch was downtown, there were a number of business people
 in line ahead of them.  The father dutifully got into the
 rope chutes to wait for the next available teller.

 Standing in front of them was a female executive type, wearing
 the latest in corporate fashion and carrying a leather brief-
 case with a matching leather purse slung over her shoulder.
 There was a pager clipped to the purse, and the woman was
 quite large.

 After standing in line for a few minutes, the son, pointing
 to the woman ahead, remarked "Dad, that woman has the biggest
 butt I have ever seen."

 His father, surprised and embarrassed, chastised his son for
 saying things that might hurt someone else's feelings.  "Ssshh,
 don't say things like that, it isn't nice."

 A few minutes later, almost to the front of the line, the son
 again remarked "Dad, that woman has the biggest thighs I have
 ever seen."

 The father, this time more sternly, replied, "Be quiet, we are
 almost done here.  We'll talk about this when we get home."

 Just at that moment, the woman's pager went off.  beep..beep..
 beep..beep

 With that the son yells, "LOOK OUT DAD, SHE'S BACKING UP!!!"

 Thanks Seahour

Top
Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon (S1003)
          By Dan Piraro on 3/29/2016
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/march-29-2016/
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Top
Subj:     Money Riddle (S407b)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles on 11/17/2004

 What is the difference between a dollar and
 a half and thirty five-cents.

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Scroll down for the answer
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Here it comes
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Nothing. A dollar and a half is the same as
thirty five-cents (nickels). But not the same
as thirty-five cents. Note the dash in five-cents
 

Top
Subj:     The One Dollar Bill (S351b)
          From: JBCARY1 on 10/20/2003
 
 Take out a one dollar bill, and look at it. The one
 dollar bill you're looking at first came off the 
 presses in 1957 in its present design.  This so-called paper
 money is in fact a cotton and linen blend, with red and blue
 minute silk fibers running through it.  It is actually
 material. We've all washed it without it falling apart.  A
 special blend of ink is used, the contents we will never
 know. It is overprinted with symbols and then it is starched
 to make it water resistant and pressed to give it that nice
 crisp look.
 
 If you look on the front of the bill, you will see
 the United States Treasury Seal.  On the top you
 will see the scales for a balanced budget.  In the
 center you have a carpenter's square, a tool used
 for an even cut. Underneath is the Key to the United States
 Treasury.  That's all pretty easy to figure out, but what is
 on the back of that dollar bill is something we should all know.
 
 If you turn the bill over, you will see two
 circles. Both circles, together, comprise the
 Great Seal of the United States.  The First
 Continental Congress requested that Benjamin
 Franklin and a group of men come up with a Seal.  It took them
 four years to accomplish this task and another two years to get
 it approved.
 
 If you look at the left-hand circle, you will see
 a Pyramid.  Notice the face is lighted, and the
 western side is dark.  This country was just
 beginning.   We had not begun to explore the West 
 or decided what we could do for Western Civilization.  The
 Pyramid is uncapped, again signifying that we were not even
 close to being finished. Inside the capstone you have the all-
 seeing eye, an ancient symbol for divinity.  It was Franklin's
 belief that one man couldn't do it alone, but a group of men,
 with the help of God, could do anything.!
 "IN GOD WE TRUST" is on this currency. The
 Latin above the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS,
 means, "God has favored our undertaking."
 The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, means, "a
 new order has begun."  At the base of the pyramid is the Roman
 Numeral for 1776.  If you look at the right-hand circle, and
 check it carefully, you will learn that it is on every National
 Cemetery in the United States.  It is also on the Parade of
 Flags Walkway at the Bushnell, Florida National Cemetery, and
 is the centerpiece of most hero's monuments.  Slightly
 modified, it is the seal of the President
 of the United States, and it is always
 visible whenever he speaks, yet very
 few people know what the symbols mean.

 The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for two
 reasons: First, he is not afraid of a storm; he is strong, and
 he is smart enough to soar above it. Secondly, he
 wears no material crown.  We had just broken from
 the King of England.  Also, notice the shield is
 unsupported. This country can now stand on its own.
 At the top of that shield you have a white bar signifying
 congress, a unifying factor. We were coming together as one
 nation.  In the Eagle's beak you will read, "E PLURIBUS UNUM,"
 meaning, "one nation from many people."
 
 Above the Eagle, you have thirteen stars,
 representing the thirteen original colonies,
 and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling away.
 Again, we were coming together as one. 
 Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons.  He
 holds an olive branch and arrows.  This country
 wants peace, but we will never be afraid to fight
 to preserve peace.   The Eagle always wants to
 face the olive branch, but in time of war, his gaze turns
 toward the arrows.
 
 They say that the number 13 is an unlucky
 number.  This is almost a worldwide belief.
 You will usually never see a room numbered
 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th floor.
 But think about this: 13 original colonies,
 13 signers of the Declaration of Independence, 13 stripes
 on our flag, 13 steps on the Pyramid, 13 letters in the
 Latin above, 13 letters in "E Pluribus Unum," 13 stars above
 the Eagle, 13 bars on that shield, 13 leaves on the olive
 branch, 13 fruits, and if you look closely, 13 arrows.  And,
 for minorities: the 13th Amendment.
 
 I always ask people, "Why don't you know this?"
 Your children don't know this, and their history
teachers don't know this.  Too many veterans have
given up too much to ever let the meaning fade.
Many veterans remember coming home to an America
that didn't care. Too many veterans never came
home at all. 
From: Money Today on May 15,2004
at http://pf.channel.aol.com/moneytoday/
 George Washington's mysterious grimace
 when he posed for the painting later
 used for his portrait on the dollar bill,
 Washington's face was still partly
 swollen from a recent fitting of false
 teeth. Hence his expression.

Top
Subj:     Biker Wants To Open Checking Account (S369)
          From: thebartend on 2/13/2004

 A crusty old biker walks into a bank and says to the woman
 at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account."

 The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir.  I
 must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

 "Listen up, damn it.  I said I want to open a damn checking
 account now!"

 "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not
 tolerated in this bank."

 The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank
 manager to inform him of her situation.  The manager agrees
 that the teller does not have to listen to that foul language.

 They both return to the window and the manager asks the old
 biker, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

 "There is no damn problem," the man says.  "I just won 50
 million dollars in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn
 checking account in this damn bank!"

 "I see, " says the manager, "and is this bitch giving you a
 hard time?"

Top
Subj:     Non Sequitur Cartoon (S918)
          By Wiley Miller on 8/15/2014
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2014/08/15
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Top
Subj:     New $200 Bill (DU)
          From: pns on 9/14/2003

 SEPTEMBER 12--North Carolina cops are searching for a guy
 who successfully passed a $200 bill bearing George W. Bush's
 portrait and a drawing of the White House complete with lawn
 signs reading "We like ice cream" and "USA deserves a tax cut."
 The phony Bush bill--a copy of which you'll find below--was
 presented to a cashier at a Food Lion in Roanoke Rapids on
 September 6 by an unidentified male who was seeking to pay for
 $150 in groceries.  Remarkably, the cashier accepted the
 counterfeit note and gave the man $50 change.  In a separate
 incident involving a different perp, Roanoke Rapids cops
 Tuesday arrested Michael Harris, 24, for attempting last
 month to pass an identical $200 Bush bill at a convenience store.
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Top
Subj:     Alabama State Quarters (S344b)
          From: JBCARY1 on 9/5/2003

 WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Hang on to any of the new Alabama quarters
 if you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents.
 The U.S. Treasury announced it is recalling all of the Alabama
 quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from
 each state.  The quarters are being issued in the order in
 which the various states joined the U.S.

 "We are recalling all the new Alabama quarters that were
 recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford
 said Monday.

 "This action is being taken after numerous reports that new
 quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending
 machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices."

 "The problem lies in a design flaw," Shackleford said.

 The winning design was submitted by an Auburn University student.

 "Apparently," Shackleford said, "the duct tape holding the two
 dimes and nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices."

Top
Subj:     Do You Know Your Penny? (S421)
          From:  igiggle on 2/10/2005
 Source: http://www.exploratorium.edu/exhibits/
.........common_cents/#sthash.kJMdm3mo.dpuf

 Can you fine the real penny from these twelve pictures?
 Click 'HERE' to test your knowledge.
 

Top
Subj:     Rules For Bank Robbers (DU)
          From: humorlist-digest V1 #225 on 97-10-17

 According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are
 "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by
 young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the
 first thing about their  business.  This information was
 included in an article titlesd  "How Not to Rob a Bank,"
 by Tim Clark, which appeared in  the 1987 edition of The
 Old Farmers Almanac.

 Clark reported that in spite of the widespread use of
 surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no
 disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing
 it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing
 the loot.  Thus, he offered this advice to would-be bank
 robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the
 rules aren't followed:

 1. Pick the right bank.  Clark advises that you don't
 follow the lead of the fellow in Anaheim, Cal., who tried
 to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had
 no money.  On the other hand, you don't want  to be too
 familiar with the bank.  A California robber ran into his
 mother while making his getaway.  She turned him in.

 2. Approach the right teller.  Granted, Clark says, this
 is harder to plan.  One teller in Springfield, Mass.,
 followed the holdup man out of the bank and down the
 street until she saw him go into a restaurant.  She hailed
 a passing police car, and the police picked him up.
 Another teller was given a holdup note by a robber, and
 her father, who was next in line, wrestled the man to the
 ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.

 3. Don't sign your demand note.  Demand notes have been
 written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of
 a bank robber in Pittsburgh, on an envelope bearing the
 name and address of another in Detroit, and in  East
 Hartford, Conn., on the back of a withdrawal slip giving
 the  robber's signature and account number.

 4. Beware of dangerous vegetables.  A man in White Plains,
 N.Y., tried to hold up a bank with a zucchini.  The
 police captured him at his house, where he showed them
 his "weapon."

 5. Avoid being fussy.  A robber in Panorama City, Cal.,
 gave a teller a note saying, "I have a gun.  Give me all
 your twenties in this envelope."  The teller said, "All
 I've got is two twenties."  The robber took them and
 left.

 6. Don't advertise.  A holdup man thought that if he
 smeared mercury ointment on his face, it would make him
 invisible to the cameras.  Actually, it accentuated his
 features, giving authorities a much clearer  picture.
 Bank robbers in Minnesota and California tried to create
 a  diversion by throwing stolen money out of the windows
 of their cars.  They succeeded only in drawing attention
 to themselves.

 7. Take right turns only.  Avoid the sad fate of the
 thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn and ended up
 on the Homestead Air Force Base.  They drove up to a
 military police guardhouse and, thinking it was a
 tollbooth, offered the security men money.

 8. Provide your own transportation.  It is not clever
 to borrow the teller's car, which she carefully
 described to police.  This resulted in the most
 quickly solved bank robbery in the history of
 Pittsfield, Mass.

 9. Don't be too sensitive.  In these days of exploding
 dye packs, stuffing the cash into your pants can lead
 to embarrassing stains, Clark points out,not to
 mention severe burns in sensitive places--as bandits
 in San Diego and Boston painfully discovered.

 10. Consider another line of work.  One nervous
 Newport, R.I., robber, while trying to stuff his ill-
 gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in
 the head and died instantly.  Then there was the case
 of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Mass., who, when
 the teller told him she had no money, fainted.  He
 was still unconscious when the police arrived.

 In view of such ineptitude, it is not surprising that
 in 1978 and 1979, for example, federal and state
 officers made arrests in 69 percent of the bank
 holdups reported.

Top
Subj:     Bugs Bunny On Money (S1011)
          From: Michael Lagrimas on Facebook on 5/29/2016
 Source: https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/
.........e35/916347_1719736714970030_1183321929_n.jpg
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Top
Subj:     Another Dumb Bank Robber (DU)
          From: RFSlick on 98-08-12

 A true story out of San Francisco:

 It seems a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
 walked into the branch and wrote "This iz a stikkup.  Put all
 your muny in this bag."  While standing in line,
 waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry
 that someone had seen him write the note and might call
 the police before he reached the teller window.

 He left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells
 Fargo.  After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
 his note to the Wells Fargo teller.  She read it and,
 surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the
 brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
 not accept his stick up note because it was written on a
 Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have
 to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank
 of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "Ok"
 and left.

 The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested
 the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
 at Bank of America.

Top
Subj:     How To Make A Ring From A One Dollar Bill (S392b)
          From: Joe Leon on July 31,2004
 
You too can make a cool
'One Dollar' ring for
your grandchild.

Click 'HERE' to learn how.


Subj:     Short Banking Jokes
 

Top
Subj:     States On A Five Dollar Bill (S337b)
          From: gheckman on 7/8/2003
 All 50 states are listed across the top of the
 Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

 I spent 30 minutes looking at a new five, but
 could only find twenty-six states.  If someone
 can show me the other 24 I would be greatful.  Al
 

Top
Subj:   ATM Machine - Cartoon (390)
        From: mrx on 7/14/2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 This cartoon is great.  Makes me want to switch banks.
 You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     More About States On A Five Dollar Bill (S340b)
          From: jmholmes on 8/2/2003
 Source: (Removed from moneyfactory.com)
 The vignette on the reverse of the five-dollar note depicts a
 likeness of the face of the Lincoln Memorial as it appeared in
 1922 when it was first dedicated.  At that time, there were
 only 48 states that made up the United States of America.  The
 names of 26 states were engraved on the front of the Memorial.
 This is why only the names of 26 states appear in the vignette
 on the reverse of the five-dollar note.  In the upper frieze
 of the fa?ade in the vignette the states are from left to right:
 Arkansas, Michigan, Florida, Texas, Iowa, Wisconsin, California,
 Minnesota, Oregon, Kansas, West Virginia, Nevada, Nebraska,
 Colorado, and North Dakota.  In the lower frieze from left to
 right the names of the states are: Delaware, Pennsylvania, New
 Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maryland, Carolina,
 New Hampshire, Virginia and New York.
 

Top
Subj:     Old Zeis Cartoon (S1034)
          From: Fred's mother on 11/10/2016
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Top
Subj:     World's Worst Bank Robber (S296)
          From: jerry on 10/3/2002
 A Miami, Florida bank robber walked into the same bank he
 robbed three weeks earlier wearing the same sun glasses
 and sports jacket and who was arrested when police were
 called down by a teller who recognized him.

 A day earlier, while trying to rob a bank, shot off his
 gun while putting it into his pants pocket and got hit by
 a van as he ran from the bank, leaving behind too gold
 teeth from which his DNA will be extracted for evidence.

 Miami Herald (Miami, Florida) 3-Oct-02
 

Top
Subj:     ATM Scam (S275)
          From: slichty on 5/9/2002
 The latest ATM scam involves thieves putting a thin, clear,
 rigid plastic 'sleeve' into the ATM card slot.  When you
 insert your card, the machine can't read the strip, so it
 keeps asking you to re-enter your PIN number.  Meanwhile,
 someone behind you watches as you tap in your number.

 Eventually you give up, thinking the machine has swallowed
 your card and you walk away.  The thieves then remove the
 plastic sleeve complete with card, and empty your account.

 The way to avoid this is to run your finger along the card
 slot before you put your card in.  The sleeve has a couple
 of tiny prongs that the thieves need to get the sleeve out
 of the slot, and you'll be able to feel them.  The police
 would like as many people as possible to be aware of this
 scam, so pass this on to your friends.
 

 Which denomination of US Currency has
      an owl and a spider hidden on it?
 On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper
    left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a
    spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

 How many states are listed across the top of the
      Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill?
 All 50 states are listed across the top of the
    Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

 How many ways are there to make change for a dollar?
 There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

 Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US
    Treasury.

 Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of linen.

 In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
 to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.  King
 used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately,
 he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

 There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

 The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.

 If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies,
 you have $1.19.  You also have the largest amount of money
 in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
 (This would make a GREAT math brain teaser!)

 Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball.

 In California, selling a gold piece without tooth marks in
 it is considered forgery.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 5/18/2001 (S224)
 "Money doesn't talk, it swears."-Bob Dylan

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/5/2001 (S229)
 "A fool and his money were lucky to get together in the
 first place"-Harry Anderson

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 9/18/2001 (S242)
 "I've been sort of crabby lately. It's that time of the
  month again -- the rent's due."  -- Margaret Smith

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 10/14/2001 (S246)
 Running into debt doesn't bother me; it's running into
 creditors that's upsetting.

From: dogbyte on 10/26/2001 (S250)
 The love of money is
 the root of all evil,
 and man NEEDS roots!

From: LABLaughs.com on 2/10/2002 (S263)
 The only thing you cannot live without or within is Income.

From: dogbyte on 3/15/2002 (S268c)
 What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.

From: dogbyte on 3/22/2002 (S268c)
 Will you loan me $20.00 and only give me ten of it?
 That way, you will owe me ten, and I'll owe you ten,
 and we'll be even!

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 3/27/2002 (S269c)
 "I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by
  four o'clock this afternoon." -- Henry Youngman.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 3/27/2002 (S269c)
 "Anyone who lives within their means suffers
  from a lack of imagination."  -- Oscar Wilde

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 3/29/2002 (S269c)
 "A bargain is something you can't use at a price
  you can't resist."  -- Franklin Jones

From: Mark Taylor on 7/5/99
 Never invest in anything that you have to paint or feed.
   -- J. Paul Getty

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #270 on 98-08-31
 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over
 and put it back in your pocket.

From: LABLaughs.com on 7/13/2002 (S286b)
 Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
   -- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/1/2002 (S288b)
 "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can
  prove that you don't need it."  -- Bob Hope

From: Puneet385 on 10/5/2002 (S296b)
 A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair
 weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
   -- Robert Frost

From: KMACINTY on 1/17/2003 (S311)
 You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

From: DafterLafter on 6/15/2003 (S333b)
 The union workers at the Federal Mint went on strike
 today.  They are demanding to make less money!

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 10/13/2005 (S455b)
 "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when
  the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it
  begins to rain."  -- Mark Twain

From: igiggle on 7/26/2003 (S341b)
 Mark Twain once said money is twice-tainted.
 "T'ain't your, t'ain't mine."  -- Mark Twain

From: Imogenelumen on 1/27/2004 (S366)
 I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous
 to offer me the position. -- Mark Twain

 For more Twain quotes see 'Twain on Government' in POLITICAL2.

From: Imogenelumen on 8/1/2003 (S341b)
From the wit of George Carlin
 Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

From: woneye on 8/27/2003 (S344b)
 Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/7/2003 (S349b)
 While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you
 choose your own form of misery.

From: Imogenelumen on 1/27/2004 (S366 - quotes-comed)
 What's the use of happiness?
 It can't buy you money.  -- Henny Youngman

From: LABLaughs.com on 11/11/2003 (S354b)
 Money will buy you a bed, but not a good night's
 sleep, a house but not a home, a companion but
 not a friend.

From: igiggle on 8/26/2004 (S396b)
 The younger generation knows more about everything
 than the old folks - except making a living.
 

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 3/14/2002 (S267c)
 Q: Why are 1966 pennies worth almost twenty dollars?
 A: One Thousand Nine Hundred and Sixty Six pennnies equal
    $19.66 which is almost $20.00

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..........................From Smiley_Central
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