bar supplement

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Subj: Bar Supp Jokes
(Includes 15 jokes and articles, 30785,7,cf)

BAR1 are others bar jokes and short bar jokes
BAR2 are "A guy walks into a bar" jokes
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Subj:     Bartender Tricks (S746)
          From: Wimp.com
          on 5/1/2011

Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDLr99tlGiA
Source2: http://www.wimp.com/bartendertricks/

Watch it and weep. Chopping, flaring, back-bending
cocktail flinging legends. Fire breathing sambuca
kings. No one kicks it like the Prestwich Crew!!
Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to
see these cute tricks including the five cherry
flip shown in the small, thumb-nail photo.

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Subj:     Drinking A Waterloo (S683b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 2/17/2010

A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he's sitting down,
he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, "I'll
have another waterloo."

The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink,
then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink.
Thinking the other man's drink may be a specialty of
the house, he says, "I'll have a waterloo, too."

The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink and
the customer takes a big drink.

"Hey," he says. "This isn't any good. It tastes just
like water!"

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says,
"Well, it is water. Right, Lou?"

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Subj:     A Drunk And A Lesbian In A Bar (S634c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/2/2009

An obnoxious drunk in a bar keeps hitting on an a lesbian
who is waiting for her date. The drunk just won't take no
for an answer.

"Tell you what, I'll sleep with you if you can name one
thing a man can do for me that my vibrator can't!" the
lesbian smirks.

The obnoxious drunk thinks for a moment. "Okay, let's see
your vibrator buy the next round of drinks!"

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Subj:     Two Guys In Bar Discuss Wives II (S621c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 12/3/2008

Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer.
Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.

"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul on one of those awkward
questions women ask. Now, I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Tom.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets
old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

"Yeah," said Eric. "That's what I did, except I said 'Of
course I do.'"

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Subj:     Wine Opener (S507c in Sex2)
          From: darrell94590 on 10/9/2006

This 2,500 KB movie is a dirty, funny commercial.
You can view it on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Piano Player Wanted In A Bar (S586b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/10/2008

He was a ragged looking old man who shuffled into the bar
that afternoon. Stinking of whiskey and cigarettes, his
hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign
from the window and gave it to the bartender. "I'd like
to apply for the job," he said. The bar-keep wasn't too
sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it had been
awhile since he had a player and business was falling off.

"What do you do?" he asked.

"I used to be a F-4 fighter pilot in Vietnam," was the
answer. Now, really unsure, the bar-keep decided to give
him a try...he really needed more business. "The piano
is over there...give it a go." The old man staggered his
way over to the piano and several patrons snickered. But,
by the time he was into the third bar of music, every
voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of
sound and music unlike anyone had ever heard in the bar
before. When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the
place. The bartender brought the old guy a beer and said
that he sounded really,really good. "What do you call
that?" he asked. "It's called "Drop YourPanties, Baby,
We're Gonna Rock Tonight," said the old pilot as he took
along pull from the beer.

"I got another," ...and he began to play again. What
followed was a knee-slappin', hand-clappin' bit of
ragtime that had the place jumping. People were coming
in from the streets to hear this guy play. After he
finished, the pilot acknowledged the applause and told
the crowd that the song was called "Big Boobs Make My
Afterburner Dance." He then excused himself as he
lurched off to the men's room. After thinking a bit,
the bartender decided to hire the guy, no matter how bad
he looked, or what his songs were called. When the guy
came out of the men's room, the bartender went over to
tell him he had the job, but noticed that the old fighter
pilot's fly was undone and his member was hanging out.
He said, "The job is yours, but first I got to ask, do
you know your fly is open and your dick is hanging out?

"Know it?" "Hell, I wrote it!" the pilot replied.

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Subj:     Sportsman's Double (S538b)
          From: edapsmas on 5/9/2007

I met a woman at a bar last night. She wasn't bad for 57,
we drank and bullshitted a bit, then she asked if I'd
ever had the 'sportsman's double', a mother and daughter
threesome?

I said "No."

We drank a bit more, then she said that tonight was my
lucky night. We went back to her place. She put the
hall light on and shouted upstairs: "Mom you still awake?"

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Subj:     Old Lady At A Cruise Ship Bar (S525c)
          From: AFine963 on 2/7/2007

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch
with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink
she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday
and it's today.."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy
you a drink. In fact, this one is on me."

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says,
"I would like to buy you a drink, too."

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch
with two drops of water."

"Coming up," says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would
like to buy you one, too"

The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another
Scotch with two drops of water."

"Coming right up," the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of
curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've
learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water,
however, is a whole other issue."

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Subj:     Andy Capp Comic Strip (622c)
          By Reg Smythe
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/12/2008

Source: http://comics.washingtonpost.com/11_comics_andy-capp.html

Click 'HERE' to view this cute comic strip.

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Subj:     Drinks After Mining Accident (S493c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/30/2006

There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed.
One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster
went into the local watering hole.

The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other
end of the bar. "Hey bartender" said the Engineer, "I'll
have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the
end there."

The bartender responded, "I'm sorry sir but that guy's a
commie and we don't serve his kind around here."

"Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy,
I wouldn't be here. You remember that mine that caved in,
well I was in that mine and so was that guy. When the
last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine
up with his head! So get him a beer and if you don't
believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see
that it's flat from holding the roof up."

The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and
then came back to talk to the Engineer:

"I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn't help
noticing the bruising under his chin. What is that all
about?"

The engineer responded: "Oh...that's where we put the jack."

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Subj:     High-Tec Bar With Robot (S489)
          From: chessofnerd on 6/8/2006

A man walked into a very high-tec bar. As he sat down
on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot.
The robot clicked to attention and asked "Sir, what will
you have?"

The man thought a moment then replied "A martini please".

The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best
martini the man had ever had. The robot then asked "sir,
what is your IQ?"

The man answered "oh, about 164."

The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of
relativity' 'inter-steller space travel' 'the latest
medical break throughs' etc........ The man was most
impressed.

He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact.
He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and
asked what he would have?

'A martini please'

Again it was surpurb. The robot again asked "what is your
IQ sir?'

This time the man answered "Oh about 100".

So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest
basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do
this week end.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned
and took a stool. Again a martimi, and the question "What
is your IQ?"

This time the man drawled out " Uh..... bout 50".

The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked
" A-r-e Y-o-u-r p-e-o-p-l-e g-o-i-n-g t-o n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e
H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?

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Subj:     Short Bar Jokes

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Subj: Went To The Bar Last Night (S785)
From: AFine963 on 1/30/2012
Source: http://theconservativehillbilly.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/
Went to the bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were
shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because
my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our
10th anniversary.

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Subj:     Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S748)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins
          From: GoComics.com on 5/22/2011

Source: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/
Click 'HERE' to learn if you have reached "middle age"
at the bars.

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Subj: Two Old Guys In A Bar (S778)
From: allenbergman on 12/5/2011
Source: http://forums.dragbike.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=16496
I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from
us and told my friend Norman "That's us in 10 years"

Norman said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!"

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Subj:     Rogers Political Cartoons (S723)
          By Rob Rogers (in Plane-Supp)
          From: gattica30 on 11/24/2009

Source: http://www.cagle.com/politicalcartoons/
.........pccartoons/archives/rogers.asp
Click 'HERE' to see this cute cartoon about a crying
lady in a bar.

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Subj: Favorite Biker Bar (S699b in Harley)
From: tom on 6/2/2010
Drawing from TextualCreations.ca

I called your house the other day and was told you were
down at your favorite biker bar with some friends. I
wasn't sure where that was, but was told I wouldn't
have much trouble finding it. Sure enough, I drove
just a couple blocks and there it was. Click 'HERE'
for the full story.

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Subj: The Difference Between A Norwegian And A Canoe (S573 - Swedish)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/7/2008
Lars, the bartender, asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference
between a Norwegian and a canoe?" "No, I don't," answered
Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.

Top

Subj: Rabbi, Priest, And Preacher Go Into A Bar
From: LABLaughsClean (S491b)
on 6/6/2006

Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19950904
I don't know if this funny, but I had to include in on my
web site because it was there. Click 'HERE' to view it.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/25/2009 (S649b)
It's generally not a good idea meeting women in a bar.
It's like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you
bring home stuff you don't need.

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Smilies drink too much from
Stormfront White Nationalist Community

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