.
 
>>>
Subj:     Bar Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 56 jokes and articles, 08 1023,16,cf,wXT2c3,11)

Man Drinks from
Accent on Animation
Contains the following:  A Neutron Walks Into A Bar... (S884)
.........................Siamese Twins Walk In To A Bar.... (S973)
.........................A Cowboy, A Muslim and A Indian (S1023)
.........................Schrodinger's Cat Walks Into A Bar - Button (DU)
.........................This Guy walks Into A Bar.... (S805)
.........................Funny Bar Jokes As Videos (S872-875)
............................Season 3 Ep.27 - Magic Apples
............................Season 2 Ep.15 - Where's The Manager?
............................Season 1 Ep. 2 - Your Mom
............................Season 1 Ep. 7 - Familiar Faces
.........................Drinking A Waterloo (S683b)
.........................A Drunk And A Lesbian In A Bar (S634c)
.........................Two Guys In Bar Discuss Wives II (S621c)
.........................Wine Opener - Video (S507c in Sex2)
.........................Piano Player Wanted In A Bar (S586b)
.........................Sportsman's Double (S538b, S790)
.........................Old Lady At A Cruise Ship Bar (S525c)
.........................Andy Capp Comic Strip (S622c)
.........................Drinks After Mining Accident (S493c)
.........................High-Tech Bar With Robot (S489)
.........................Bartender Tricks - Video (S746)
.........................Strongest Man Contest (S285)
.........................Man With Hand Phone Goes Into A Bar
.........................Pissing On The Bar (S330)
.........................Non Sequitur Cartoon (S1015)
.........................Man And The Barrel Behind The Bar
.........................Picking Up An Older Woman In A Bar
.........................Guy Orders Expensive Drinks
.........................Short Bar Jokes
............................Witty Restaurant/Bar Signs (S868)
...............................Sweet Dreams - Cheese Sign (S888)
...............................Coffee Time Beam Me Up Scotty (S893)
...............................Your Beliefs Don't Make You A Better Person (S907)
...............................Booze And Calculus Don't Mix (S910)
...............................It's a Whiskey Business! (S914)
...............................Bar Chemistry Sign (DU)
...............................Are You Cold - Sign (S934)
...............................No Wifi - Sign (DU)
...............................Stare At Your Phone - Sign (S960)
...............................Skinny People - Sign (S965)
...............................Ex-Girlfriend's Heart - Sign (S979)
...............................Love At 2 AM - Sign (S979)
...............................Eat Bacon - Sign (S990)
...............................America Britain Competition - Sign (S1016)
...............................Trump Sandwich - Sign (S1023)
............................Man With A Gun Goes Into A Bar (S971)
............................Husband Day Care Center (S812)
............................Went To The Bar Last Night (S785)
............................Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S748)
............................Two Old Guys In A Bar (S778)
............................Bad Grammar Coffee Mug (S886)
............................Rogers Political Cartoons (S723)
............................Favorite Biker Bar (S699b)
............................The Difference Between A Norwegian And A Canoe (S573)
............................Rabbi, Priest, And Preacher Go Into A Bar (S491b)
............................__, __, __, And __ Walk Into A Bar (S851)

BAR1 are others bar jokes and short bar jokes
BAR2 are "A guy walks into a bar" jokes
============================================================Top
Subj:     A Neutron Walks Into A Bar... (S884d)
          From: George Takei on 11/21/2013
 Source1: Facebook.com/GeorgehTakei/Photos_Stream
 Source2: Adequote
.
.....
..
 I never fully appreciated the magniture or power of Facebook
 until I ran into this joke on George Takei's Facebook page.
 George has 5,113,394 likes on his main page.  When he
 posted this photo he got 162,123 likes and 48,662 shares.

Here are some of the shares:

Tyson Weihe
Two Termites walk into a Bar and ask "Is the Bartender here?"

Taylor Kristina-Leigh Owen
Two men walk into a bar. One orders H2O, the other asks
for H2O too. The second man died. I have many chemistry
jokes but I like this in particular.

Dominic A. Perea
A gold atom walks into the bar, the bartender says
"Au, get out!!!"

Chris Hrobak
The bartender says "We don't serve faster-than-light
particles here."  A nutrino walks into a bar.

Martin 'Fish' Dumican
John Lennon, Gandhi and Martin Luther King walked
into a bar. They didn't have anything to drink;
they only wanted Change.

Jim Lillie
A virus walks into a bar, the bar tender says;
"we don't allow your kind in here!"
"It's ok" replies the virus, "I'm staph."

Christoph Bluth
It's pointless for a neution to walk into a bar,
because he won't find anyone in there attractive.

William Paley
Electron steps in a bar, says "I bet you you won't
serve me." Bartender replies "You're always so negative!"

And, finally, there was the person who sent ten 
"walking into a bar" puns to friends, with the hope
that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. 
No pun in ten did. 

Top
Subj:     Siamese Twins Walk In To A Bar.... (S973)
          From: sam.hutkins on 8/24/2015
 Source: https://www.dailyadvance.com/node/877353

 Siamese twins walk into a bar in Toronto and park themselves
 on a couple of bar stools. One of them says to the bartender,
 "Don't mind us; as you can see, we're joined side by side at
 the hip. I'm John, he is Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft
 please." 

 The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite
 conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, boys?"

 "Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every
 year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?"

 "Ah England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the
 history, the culture, and the different food." 

 "Nah, we don't like all that British crap," said John.
 "Hamburgers and Molson beer, that's us, eh Jim?"

 "So why keep going back year after year to England?" as
 the bartender. 

 "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

Top
Subj:     A Cowboy, A Muslim and A Indian (S1023)
          From darrelldre 8/31/2016
 Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3aa64o/
.........a_cowboy_an_indian_and_a_muslim_are_sitting_in_a/

 A Cowboy, Muslim and Indian all walk into a bar. Each sit
 down at a table and order drinks. After a dozen bottles
 of beer the Indian looks at both the Muslim and Cowboy
 and says, "My people were once great and now we are few."

 The Muslim looks at the Indian and the Cowboy and says,
 "My people were once few but now we are great." After a
 few more bottles of beer disappear the Cowboy looks at
 the Muslim in the eyes and simply says, "That's because
 we haven't had a chance to play Cowboys and Muslims yet."

Top
Subj:     Schrodinger's Cat Walks Into A Bar (DU)
          Found on etsy.com
 Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/197876977347955855/
.
.......................
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Top
Subj:     This Guy walks Into A Bar.... (S805)
          From: tom on 6/16/2012

 A well known Anti-Semite, walks into a bar and is about to
 order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a kippa,
 tzitzis, and payos.  He doesn't have to be an Einstein to
 know that this guy is Jewish.

 So he shouts over to the bartender so loudly, that everyone
 can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not
 for that Jew over there."  Soon after the drinks have been
 handed out, he notices that the Jewish guy is smiling and
 waving to him and says 'Thank You' in an equally loud voice,
 so that everyone can hear.

 This infuriates the Anti-Semite and in a loud voice, he
 once again orders drinks for everyone except the Jew.  But
 as before, this does not seem to worry the Jewish guy who
 continues to smile, and again says, "Thank you."

 So the guy asks the barman, "What's the hell is the matter
 with that Jew?  I've ordered two rounds of drinks for every-
 one in the bar except for him, and all that the silly bugger
 does is to smile and thank me in such a loud voice.  Is he
 nuts?"

 "Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns this place."

Top
Subj:     Funny Bar Jokes As Videos
          Created by: Antonino Buzzone
                  and Peter Vass
          Produced by: Alano Massi
          Directed by: Peter Vass (S872d-875)
 The 29 most popular videos
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/user/GuyWalks
.........IntoBar/videos?view=0?flow=grid?sort=p
 The 30 oldest videos
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/user/GuyWalks
.........IntoBar/videos?flow=grid?view=0?sort=da
 Twelve videos sorted by season
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/user/GuyWalksIntoBar
.
 A web series of forty classic bar jokes as videos that everyone
 can enjoy has been created by: Antonino Buzzone and Peter Vass.
 They are making thirteen videos a season and are on their fourth
 season.  The videos are all very funny.  Here are some of them.
.
Season 3 Ep.27 - Magic Apples  (S873)
Source: http://www.youtube.com/
........embed/ub3Cm0V_Z8w
A guy walks into a bar, and asks for a rum
and coke, but the bartender hands him an
apple.  Click 'HERE' to get a good laugh.
.
.
Season 2 Ep.15 - Where's The Manager?  (S874)
Source: http://www.youtube.com/
........embed/1wP81Tl34wg
Two ladies walks into a bar, and asks to speak
to the manager. Click 'HERE' to see this sexy episode.
.
.
Season 1 Ep.2 - Your Mom  (S875)
Source: http://www.youtube.com/
........embed/cdiILylaOps
A drunk walks into a bar, and tells a young
patron how he had sex with the young man's
mother.  Click 'HERE' to wait for the fight.
.
.
Season 1 Ep.7 - Familiar Faces (S872)
Source: http://www.youtube.com/
........embed/z-AqM-324hM
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into
a bar.  Click 'HERE' to see what happens.
Photo from GuyWalksIntoBar
.
Top
Subj:     Drinking A Waterloo (S683b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 2/17/2010

 A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he's sitting down,
 he hears the man next to him tell the bartender, "I'll
 have another waterloo."

 The bartender gives the fellow a tall, well-iced drink,
 then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink.
 Thinking the other man's drink may be a specialty of
 the house, he says, "I'll have a waterloo, too."

 The bartender gives him the tall, well-iced drink and
 the customer takes a big drink.

 "Hey," he says. "This isn't any good. It tastes just
 like water!"

 The man next to him looks at the bartender and says,
 "Well, it is water. Right, Lou?"

Top
Subj:     A Drunk And A Lesbian In A Bar (S634c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/2/2009

 An obnoxious drunk in a bar keeps hitting on an a lesbian
 who is waiting for her date.  The drunk just won't take no
 for an answer.

 "Tell you what, I'll sleep with you if you can name one
 thing a man can do for me that my vibrator can't!" the
 lesbian smirks.

 The obnoxious drunk thinks for a moment. "Okay, let's see
 your vibrator buy the next round of drinks!"

Top
Subj:     Two Guys In Bar Discuss Wives II (S621c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 12/3/2008

 Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer.
 Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is.

 "Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul on one of those awkward
 questions women ask. Now, I'm in deep trouble at home."

 "What kind of question?" asked Tom.

 "My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets
 old, fat and wrinkly."

 "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will.'"

 "Yeah," said Eric. "That's what I did, except I said 'Of
 course I do.'"

Top
Subj:     Wine Opener (S507c,d in Sex2)
          From: darrell94590 on 10/9/2006
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/PLP9ZRvN8eA

 Click 'HERE' to see this dirty, funny commercial.

Top
Subj:     Piano Player Wanted In A Bar (S586b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/10/2008

 He was a ragged looking old man who shuffled into the bar
 that afternoon.  Stinking of whiskey and cigarettes, his
 hands shook as he took the "Piano Player Wanted" sign
 from the window and gave it to the bartender. "I'd like
 to apply for the job," he said.  The bar-keep wasn't too
 sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it had been
 awhile since he had a player and business was falling off.

 "What do you do?" he asked.

 "I used to be a F-4 fighter pilot in Vietnam," was the
 answer. Now, really unsure, the bar-keep decided to give
 him a try...he really needed more business. "The piano
 is over there...give it a go." The old man staggered his
 way over to the piano and several patrons snickered. But,
 by the time he was into the third bar of music, every
 voice was silenced.  What followed was a rhapsody of
 sound and music unlike anyone had ever heard in the bar
 before.  When he finished, there wasn't a dry eye in the
 place.  The bartender brought the old guy a beer and said
 that he sounded really,really good. "What do you call
 that?" he asked.  "It's called "Drop YourPanties, Baby,
 We're Gonna Rock Tonight," said the old pilot as he took
 along pull from the beer.

 "I got another," ...and he began to play again.  What
 followed was a knee-slappin', hand-clappin' bit of
 ragtime that had the place jumping.  People were coming
 in from the streets to hear this guy play.  After he
 finished, the pilot acknowledged  the applause and told
 the crowd that the song was called "Big Boobs Make My
 Afterburner Dance."  He then excused himself as he
 lurched off to the men's room.  After thinking a bit,
 the bartender decided to hire the guy, no matter how bad
 he looked,  or what his songs were called.  When the guy
 came out of the men's room, the bartender went over to
 tell him he had the job, but noticed that the old fighter
 pilot's  fly was undone and his member was hanging out.
 He said, "The job is yours, but first I got to ask, do
 you know your fly is open and your dick is hanging out?

 "Know it?" "Hell, I wrote it!" the pilot replied.

Top
Subj:     Sportsman's Double (S538b, S790)
          From: edapsmas on 5/9/2007
      and From: rfslick on 3/4/2012

 I'll confess, I ended up with an older woman at a bar last
 night.  She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old.  In fact,
 she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she
 probably had a really hot daughter.

 We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had
 a Sportsman's Double?

 'What's that?' I asked.

 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

 As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what
 her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'
 We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's
 your lucky night'.

 We went back to her place. We walked in.  She put on the
 hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'

Top
Subj:     Old Lady At A Cruise Ship Bar (S525c)
          From: AFine963 on 2/7/2007

 A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch
 with two drops of water.  As the bartender gives her the drink
 she says, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday
 and it's today.."

 The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy
 you a drink.  In fact, this one is on me."

 As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says,
 "I would like to buy you a drink, too."

 The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch
 with two drops of water."

 "Coming up," says the bartender.

 As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would
 like to buy you one, too"

 The old woman says, "Thank you.  Bartender, I want another
 Scotch with two drops of water."

 "Coming right up," the bartender says.

 As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of
 curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"

 The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've
 learned how to hold your liquor.  Holding your water,
 however, is a whole other issue."

Top
Subj:     Andy Capp Comic Strip (622c)
          By Reg Smythe on 12/12/2008
..........At: http://www.gocomics.com/andycapp/2008/12/12

 Click 'HERE' to view this cute comic strip.

Top
Subj:     Drinks After Mining Accident (S493c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/30/2006

 There was a mine in a small town that completely collapsed.
 One of the engineers who miraculously survived the disaster
 went into the local watering hole.

 The bar was empty except for one lonely soul at the other
 end of the bar.  "Hey bartender" said the Engineer, "I'll
 have a beer and pour another one for my friend down at the
 end there."

 The bartender responded, "I'm sorry sir but that guy's a
 commie and we don't serve his kind around here."

 "Well, you'd better because if it weren't for that guy,
 I wouldn't be here.  You remember that mine that caved in,
 well I was in that mine and so was that guy.  When the
 last of us were escaping, he held the roof of the mine
 up with his head!  So get him a beer and if you don't
 believe me, look at the top of his head and you'll see
 that it's flat from holding the roof up."

 The bartender skeptically served the commie his beer and
 then came back to talk to the Engineer:

 "I saw the flat spot on his head but I also couldn't help
 noticing the bruising under his chin.  What is that all
 about?"

 The engineer responded: "Oh...that's where we put the jack."

Top
Subj:     High-Tech Bar With Robot (S489, S878)
          From: chessofnerd on 6/8/2006
      and From: AFine963 on 10/31/2013

 A man walked into a very high-tech bar.  As he sat down
 on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot.
 The robot clicked to attention and asked "Sir, what will
 you have?"

 The man thought a moment then replied "A martini please".

 The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best
 martini the man had ever had.  The robot then asked "sir,
 what  is your IQ?"

 The man answered "oh, about 164."

 The  robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of
 relativity' 'inter-stellar space travel' 'the latest
 medical break  throughs' etc........ The man was most
 impressed.

 He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact.
 He returned and took a seat.  Again the robot clicked and
 asked what he would have?

 'A martini please'

 Again it was  superb.  The robot again asked "what is your
 IQ sir?'

 This time the man answered "Oh about 100".

 So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest
 basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do
 this week end.

 The guy  had to try it one more time.  So he left, returned
 and took a stool.  Again a martini, and the question "What
 is your IQ?"

 This time the man drawled out " Uh..... bout 50".

 The  robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked
 " A-r-e  Y-o-u-r  p-e-o-p-l-e  g-o-i-n-g  t-o n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e
 H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?

Top
Subj:     Bartender Tricks (S746d)
          From: Wimp.com on 5/1/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/embed/iDLr99tlGiA
 Source2: http://www.wimp.com/bartendertricks/

 Watch it and weep. Chopping, flaring, back-bending
 cocktail flinging legends.  Fire breathing sambuca
 kings.  No one kicks it like the Prestwich Crew!!
 Click 'HERE' to see these cute tricks including the
 five cherry flip shown in the small, thumb-nail photo.

Top
Subj:     Strongest Man Contest (S285)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 7/15/2002

 The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the
 strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000
 bet.  The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the
 juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.
 Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out
 would win the money.

 Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, long-
 shoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

 One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing
 thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny
 squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet"

 After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK,
 grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.  Then he handed the
 wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

 But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the
 man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell
 into the glass!!

 As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and
 asked the little man  "What do you do for a living?  Are
 you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

 The scrawny little man replied "I work for the IRS."

Top
Subj:     Man With Hand Phone Goes Into A Bar
          From TNKRTEACH on 97-04-17

 (Also see 'European Fake Cell Phone Commercial' in Phone-Supp
.......and 'Bill Gates And Farting' in Famous-Gates
.......and 'Three Nationalities In A Sauna' Redneck-Supp)

 A guy walks into a bar and sits down.  He starts dialing
 numbers...like a telephone...on his hand and talking into his
 hand.  The bar tender walks over and tells him that this is
 a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.
 The guy says, "You don't understand; I'm very hi-tech. I had
 a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying
 the cellular."  The bar tender says, "Prove it."

 The guy dials up a number and 'hands' his hand to the bar
 tender.  The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a
 conversation.

 "That's incredible", says the bartender ...  "I would never
 believe it!"

 "Yeah", said the  guy, "I'm really very hi-tech.  I can keep
 in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it!  By the way,
 where is the men's room?"

 The bar tender directs him to the men's room.  The guy goes
 in and doesn't come out for the longest time.  Fearing the
 worst given the tough neighborhood, the bar tender goes into
 the men's room.  There is the guy... he is spread-eagle on
 the wall...his pants are pulled down and he has a roll of
 toilet paper up his butt.

 "Oh my god", said the bar tender, "Did they rob you?  How
 much did they get?"

 The guy turns and says: "No, no,... I'm just waiting for a
 fax!"

Top
Subj:     Pissing On The Bar (S330)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 5/26/2003

 A man steps up to the bar.  He tells the bartender, "I'll
 bet you 50 bucks I can bite my left eye!"  The guy looks
 pretty sauced, so the bartender agrees.  So the guy takes
 out his glass eye and bites it.  Then he tells the bartender,
 "I'll bet you another 50 I can bite my right eye!"  The
 bartender knows the guy isn't blind, so he agrees.  So the
 man takes out his false teeth and bites his right eye.  Then
 the guy tells him, "Listen, I'll give you a chance to win
 your money back and more."  The bartender wants no more of
 this, but the guy says, "Just listen.  I'll bet you four
 hundred dollars that I can piss into that cup on the other
 side of the bar from where I'm standing!"  The bartender
 knows there's no way the guy can do this, so he agrees.  So
 the guy pulls down his pants and pisses all over the place,
 all over the bar, all over the bartender. but not a drop
 lands in the cup.

 The happy bartender is laughing at him while wipping the
 piss off his face.  He is thinking this is the easiest
 $300 he ever made.  Finnally the man with a broad grin in
 his face hands him $300 to pay up.

 "What the hell are you so happy about?" asks the bartender?

 "See those guys by the pooltable says the man? I bet each
 one $1,000 that I can piss on your Bar, I can piss on you
 and your customers and you will be happy about it."

Top
Subj:     Non Sequitur Cartoon (S1015)
          By Wiley Miller on 7/1/2015
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2016/06/21
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Top
Subj:     Man And The Barrel Behind The Bar

 A guy walks into a bar in a town with no women and asks the
 bartender, "How can you live in this town without any women?".
 The bartender replies, "It's not that bad when we get lonely
 we go out back where there is a barrel with a knothole in it.
 So after a few beers, the guy starts getting a little lonely
 and tells the bartender he's gonna go find the barrel.  So he
 walks up to the barrel and sticks it in the knothole.  After
 about 5 minutes he walks back to the bar and tells the bartender,
 "Man, that's the greatest stuff I've ever had!!  What do I
 owe ya?".  The bartender replies, "Nothing, but it's your
 turn to get in the barrel".

Top
Subj:     Picking Up An Older Woman In A Bar

 A 20 year old man decides to go to the local bar and pick up
 a root for the night.  He tries for hours but without success.
 At the end of the night he spots a 65 year old woman giving
 him the eyes.  He thinks "what the hell, I'm pissed anyway"
 He picks her up and takes her home.  As soon as they get to
 his bedroom, he tears off her shirt and sticks his mouth
 over one of her nipples.  To his pleasant surprise a jet of
 warm fluid gushes into his mouth.  He says: "Hey honey, aren't
 you a bit old to be lactating?"  She smiles and replies: "I
 might be too old to lactate but I'm not too old to have BREAST
 CANCER!"

Second version
Neal's Nasty Free Filthy Daily Dirty Joke For 2/5/97

 A young man wanted to get laid really bad, but the only woman
 he could get to go home with him was about 100 years old.
 After they started fucking, he said, "Your pussy is just too
 dry and rough, it's hurting my dick!"  She said, "I'll fix
 that, I'll be right back."  She went into the bathroom.
 When she came back the man couldn't believe what a difference
 there was.  After they got done banging, he said, "Wow, you
 felt great, it was all moist and not rough anymore!"  "What
 did you do, put in some lubricant or something?"  "No," the
 woman replied, "I just picked off all the scabs and let the
 puss run."

Top
Subj:     Guy Orders Expensive Drinks
          From: Internet Humor Archive

 A man ordered four expensive 30-year-old single malts and
 had the bartender line them up in front of him.  Without
 pausing, he downed each one.

 "Whew," the barkeep remarked, "you seem to be in a hurry."

 "You would be too if you had what I have."

 "What do you have?" the bartender sympathetically asked.

 "Fifty cents."


Subj:     Short Bar Jokes

Top
Subj:     Witty Restaurant/Bar Signs (S868, 21 jokes, 25 1023,26,cf,md4,0)
          From: AFine963 on 8/22/13
Sign from KegWorks.com
 Many restaurants and bars have a chalkboard out front
 to list the daily specials.  When there are no specials,
 amazing pieces of wit and wisdom sometimes appear. Click
 'HERE' to see these twenty-six pearls of humor.
 

Top
Subj:     Man With A Gun Goes Into A Bar (S971)
          From: bill7808 on 8/16/2015
 A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his unholstered 
 pistol and yelled, "I have a .45 Colt with eight rounds
 in the clip and one in the chamber and I want to know
 who's been sleeping with my wife!"
.
 A voice from the back of the room called out, "You don't
 have enough  ammo!"
 

Top
Subj:     Husband Day Care Center (S812d) 
          From: virv on 8/2/2012
 Source: http://directorblue.blogspot.com/
.........2012/01/new-business-venture-papa-b.html
 Click 'HERE' to check out this great, new business venture.
 

Top
Subj:     Went To The Bar Last Night (S785)
          From: AFine963 on 1/30/2012
 Source: http://theconservativehillbilly.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/
 Went to the bar with my girlfriend last night.  Locals were
 shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because
 my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.  It completely spoiled our
 10th anniversary.
 

Top
Subj:     Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S748)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 5/22/2011
..........At: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2011/05/22
 Click 'HERE' to learn if you have reached "middle age" at the bars.
 

Top
Subj:     Two Old Guys In A Bar (S778)
          From: allenbergman on 12/5/2011
 Source: (Removed from forums.dragbike.com)
 I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from
 us and told my friend Norman "That's us in 10 years"

 Norman said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!"
 

Top
Subj:     Bad Grammar Coffee Mug (S886d)
          Sold by CafePress.co.uk
 Source: http://www.cafepress.co.uk/mf/70346056/the-past-the-
.........present-and-the-future_mugs?productId=744160047
.
..........
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Top
Subj:     Rogers Political Cartoons (S723)
          By Rob Rogers (in Plane-Supp)
          From: gattica30 on 11/24/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/robrogers
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute cartoon about a crying lady in a bar.
 

Top
Subj:     Favorite Biker Bar (S699b in Harley)
          From: tom on 6/2/2010
Drawing from TextualCreations.ca
 I called your house the other day and was told you were
 down at your favorite biker bar with some friends.  I
 wasn't sure where that was, but was told I wouldn't
 have much trouble finding it.  Sure enough, I drove
 just a couple blocks and there it was.  Click 'HERE'
 for the full story.
 

Top
Subj:     The Difference Between A Norwegian And A Canoe (S573 - Swedish)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/7/2008
 Lars, the bartender, asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference
 between a Norwegian and a canoe?" "No, I don't," answered
 Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
 

Top
Subj:      Rabbi, Priest, And Preacher Go Into A Bar
           From: LABLaughsClean (S491b) on 6/6/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
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..........
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Top
Subj:     __, __, __, And __ Walk Into A Bar (S851)
          From: tom on 4/30/2013
 A puppet, a black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim and
 a Communist walk into a bar.

 Bartender asks ....
.
Drawing from AuthorityGoldmine.com
.
 "What'll it be, Mr. President?"
 

From:  LABLaughsAdult on 5/25/2009 (S649b)
 It's generally not a good idea meeting women in a bar.
 It's like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you
 bring home stuff you don't need.

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                           -(o o)-
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.............................From Stormfront White Nationalist Community.
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