Subj: Bicycle Jokes
(Includes 15 jokes and articles, 30742,7,cf)
Bike Ride from
Millanimations
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Subj: Bicycle Jokes (Includes 15 jokes and articles, 30742,7,cf) |
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Bike Ride from Millanimations |
Also see CHRISTMAS1 - 'Kid
Gets Bike For Christmas'
CHURCH-SUPP - 'Answered
Prayers'
DOG2 file - 'Hairy
Dog Is Hard Of Hearing'
ENGINEER1 - 'Engineering
Student Gets A New Bike'
KIDS1 file - 'Johnny
See Mom Moaning In Bedroom'
LETTERS2 file- 'Little Bobby
Writes A Letter To God'
NATIVE AMERCN- 'Priest
Teaches Indian English'
NUNS1 file - 'Nuns
Riding Bikes Are Happy'
POLIT-BUSH - 'Bush
Plans World War III'
PREACHER - 'Minister
Looses His Bike'
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Subj:
Halftime Acrobatic Woman At A Basketball Game (S733)
From: Wimp.com on 1/26/2011 and From: Dump.com |
An acrobatic woman performs amazing
stunts at a basketball
game halftime show in Tuscaloosa
on Jan 21, 2011. She
dazzles the audience atop a
ten foot pole while riding a
unicycle. Click on either
source, or 'HERE' for my copy
to watch this great act.
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Subj: Car
Pulls Bicycle (S90, DU)
From: RFSlick on 98-10-17
A man decided that he was going
to ride a 10-speed bike
from Phoenix to Flagstaff.
He got as far as Black Canyon
City before the mountains just
became too much and he
could go no farther.
He stuck his thumb out, but after
3 hours hadn't gotten
a single person to stop.
Finally, a guy in a Corvette
pulled over and offered him
a ride. Of course, the bike
wouldn't fit in the car.
The owner of the Corvette found
a piece of rope lying by the
highway and tied it to his
bumper. He tied the other end
to the bike and told the man
that if he was going too fast,
to honk the horn on his
bike and that he would slow
down.
Everything went fine for the
first 30 miles. Suddenly,
another Corvette blew past them.
Not to be outdone, the
Corvette pulling the bike took
off after the other. A
short distance down the road,
the Corvettes, both going
well over 120 mph, blew through
a speed trap.
The police officer noted the
speeds from his radar gun
and radioed to the other officer
that he had two Corvettes
headed his way at over 120 mph.
He then relayed, "... and
you're not going to believe
this, but there's guy on a 10
speed bike honking to pass."
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| Subj:
The Joy of Bicycling (S619b)
From: darrellvip on 11/19/2008 |
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This cute, off-color movie will
show you one of
the joys of bicycling.
Click 'HERE' to view it.
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Subj: Little
Patrick Asks For A Bike (S282b)
From: KMACINTY on 6/25/2002
For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10 speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd give
you one, but the mortgage
on this house is $80,000 and
your mother just lost her job.
There's no way we can afford
it. The next day the father
saw Little Patrick heading out
the front door with a suitcase.
The dad asked, "Son, where are
you going?"
Little Patrick told him "I was
walking past your room last
night and I heard you tell mom
you were pulling out. I
heard her tell you to wait because
she was coming too. I'll
be damned if I'm sticking around
here by myself with an
$80,000 mortgage and no transportation."
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Subj:
Bicycle Stunt (S543)
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/11/2007 Photo from Yahoo! Videos |
This thirteen-second movie is
very impressive. You
can watch it at the source above,
or on my web site
by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: How
Sex Is Like Riding A Bicycle (S454)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/3/2005
1. You have to keep pumping
if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective
head-gear when going into
unfamiliar
territory.
3. You can do it with no hands,
but it's best not to try
it until
you have a lot of experience.
4. It's easier to learn with
the help of someone who has
a lot of
experience.
5. You can do it by yourself,
but it's usually not as
much fun.
6. It's usually hard to control
your speed the first few
times you
try.
7. It's best to have a soft
place to land.
8. You don't need any special
clothing, but you can get
some if you
are really into it.
9. If you're with someone who
is having trouble keeping up,
it's usually
best to slow down and wait for them.
10. Most people think it looks
easy until they try it for
the first
time.
11. Once you learn, you never
forget how.
12. If you fall off get right
back on.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping
it back up.
14. Remember to signal before
you change direction.
15. Make sure that you've got
a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it's nice to have
a cushy seat.
17. Once you're over the top,
you can just coast the rest
of the way.
18. That's why some of them
are called Mountin'Bikes.
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Subj: Why
Bicycles Are Better Than Women (S52)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/20/98
Bicycles don't get pregnant.
You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month.
Bicycles don't have parents.
Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can share your Bicycle with your friends.
Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden.
When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time.
Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have.
Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles.
Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.
You'll never hear, "Surprise,
you are going to own
a new Bicycle" unless you go
out to buy one yourself.
If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it.
If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it.
If your Bicycle is misaligned,
you don't have to discuss
politics with it.
You don't have to be jealous
of the guy who works
on your Bicycle.
If you say bad things to your
Bicycle, you
don't have to apologize before
you ride it again.
You can ride your Bicycle as
long as you want
and it won't get sore.
You can stop riding your Bicycle
as soon as you want
and it won't get frustrated.
Your parents won't remain in
touch with your old bicycle
after you dump it.
Bicycles don't get headaches.
Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles.
Bicycles don't care if you're late.
You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
If your Bicycle doesn't look
good you can paint it
or get better parts.
You can ride your Bicycle the
first time you meet it,
without having to take it to
dinner, see a movie,
or meet its mother.
The only protection you have
to wear when riding
your Bicycle is a decent helmet.
When in mixed company, you can
talk about what a great
ride you had the last time you
were on your Bicycle.
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| Subj:
Australian Bike Commercial (S512b)
From: edapsmas on 11/8/2006 |
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You can view this cute 1,500
KB commercial on my web site by
clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj: Two
Dutch Girls On A Bike Ride (S45, S461)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #214 on 97-12-04
Two Dutch girls are riding their
old rickety bikes down the
back streets of Amsterdam one
late afternoon. As it turns
closer towards dusk, the increasing
darkness of the streets
starts making the two girls
a little nervous when one girl
leans over to the other and
says, "You know, I've never come
this way before."
The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones."
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Subj: Smuggling
From Mexico (S49, S664)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/29/97
and
From: SCHULACES3 on 11/2/2003
(Also see 'Night
Watchman At A Factory' in Other-Occup)
While crossing the US-Mexican
border on his bicycle, the
man was stopped by a guard who
pointed to two sacks the
man had on his shoulders.
"What's in the bags?"
"Sand," said the cyclist.
"Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard.
The Cyclist did as he was told,
emptied the bags, and
proving they contained nothing
but sand, reloaded the
bags, put them on his shoulders
and continued across
the border.
Two weeks later, the same thing
happened. Again the
guard demanded to see the two
bags, which again contained
nothing but sand. This
went on every week for six months,
until one day the cyclist with
the sand bags failed to
appear. A few days later,
the gaurd happened to meet the
cyclist downtown.
"Say friend, you sure had us
crazy", said the gaurd. "We
knew you were smuggling something
across the border. I
won't say a word - but what
is it you were smuggling?"
"Bicycles!"
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Subj: Short
Bicycle Jokes
| Subj:
Photo Of Einstein On A Bike (S665b)
From: ft.apache on 10/2/2009 Photo from
TreeHugger.com...
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Subj:
Blondie Comic Strip (S609c)
by Dennis Young and Denis Lebrun From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/11/2008 |
Top
Subj: Bike
Bombs (S258)
From: jerry on 1/8/2002
Bonehead award five goes to
some person who, seeing a
bicycle parked in an office
building parking lot, called
the bomb squad believing the
bicycle pump and the wires
going to the light was some
sort of explosive device.
It took the scores of police
and the bomb squad about 5
seconds to call off the whole
thing.
| Subj:
Why Bicycle Shorts Are Always Black!!
From: vaterbenicia (S483c) on 4/23/2006 |
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From: KMACINTY on 1/17/2003 (S311)
A bicycle can't stand on its
own because it is two-tired.
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Smiley rides a bike from
Smiley_Central |
