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Subj:  Cartoon Character Jokes
            (Includes 62 jokes and articles, 24 1023,19,cf,vYT2a,13)
 

       Click "Here" for Cartoon-Supp


Mouse Star from
PageWorks
Includes the following:  Bridge By Ting Chian Tey - Short Film (S966 in Supp)
.........................Despicable Me - Evil Minion Wants A Banana - Vid (S900-Supp)
.........................The Boxtrolls Trailer #1 (S920)
.........................Alarm - Animated, Short, Japanese Film (S863 in Supp)
.........................Minions -  The Competition - Mini-Movie (S989 in Supp)
.........................El Vendedor De Humo (Smoke Seller) - Video (S861 in Supp)
.........................Wildebeest - Video (S810 in Supp)
.........................Pixar's LaLuna (The Moon) - Video (S849 in Supp)
.........................Calvin And Hobbes Comic Strips (in Supp)
.........................Charlie Brown Christmas Dance - Video (S985 in Supp)
.........................Uncle Remus Sings "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" - Video (S785)
.........................Duck Tales 045 - Lost Crown of Genghis Khan - Vid(S766-Supp)
.........................Feed The Kitty - Video (S763 in Supp)
.........................Disney Pixar Up - Married Life - Video (S765 in Supp)
.........................Cartoon Character Test (S391b in Supp)
.........................Walt Disney's Multiplane Camera - Video (S752 in Supp)
.........................Le Royaume, The Kingdom - Video (S739 in Supp)
.........................Road Runner 3D: Coyote Falls - Video (S733 in Supp)
.........................Mickey's Trailer - Video (S712b in Supp)
.........................Rocky and Bullwinkle, S.2, Ep.45 - Video (S709 in Supp)
.........................Donald's Vacation (Disney 1940) - Video (S708 in Supp)
.........................Mel Gibson's Phone Call Rant In Old Spice Guy -Vid(S703-Sup)
.........................Popeye The Sailor In 'Blow Me Down' - Video (S702 in Supp)
.........................Facebook On South Park - Video (S697b in Supp)
.........................Little Lulu in "Loose On A Caboose" - Video (S703 in Supp)
.........................The Little Red Hen - Video (S733 in Supp)
.........................Donald Duck: Daddy Duck 1948 - Video (S887 in Supp)
.........................
.........................Fourteen Disney Animated Classics (S965)
.........................Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse (S276, S461)
.........................Toon Crisis - Game (S516)
.........................Cartoon Laws of Physics (S235b)
.........................Kill The Wabbit - What's Opera Doc? - Video (S555b, S876)
.........................Dilbert's Words of Wisdom (S102)
.........................Coyote Catches Road Runner - Video (S599b)
.........................Coyote Catches Road Runner II - Video (S659b)
.........................Quotations f/Universe According To Dilbert (S72)
.........................Opus Comic Strip Returns (S968)
.........................Actual Dilbert Quotes From Managers (S73)
.........................Betty Boop And Grampy - Video (S628b)
.........................Dilbert Creater Fools Computer Execs (S55)
.........................Porky Pig Cusses - Video (S673b)
.........................Peanuts Specials For The 90's
.........................Short Cartoon Jokes
..............................Jim Henson And Control Of His Life - Cartoon (913-Supp)
..............................Genius Vs Idiot Comic Strip (S811 in Supp)
..............................Peabody And Sherman - Fairytale Rapunzel -Vid(S891-Sup)
..............................Fractured Fairytales-Ridinghoods Anon. - Vid(S764-Supp)
..............................Bart Simpson At The Chalkboard (S775 in Supp)
..............................Doonesbury Comic Strip (S719 in Supp)
..............................How To Cope With Death - Vid (S683 in Supp)
..............................
..............................Bizarro Cartoons II (S656)
..............................Voices Of Characters (S649)
..............................Bizarro Cartoons (S645c)
..............................Trouble For Newspaprs Spells Trouble For Cartnsts(S625)
..............................Opus On Comic Strips (S607c)
..............................Free Range (S607c)
..............................X-Rated Loony Toons (S545b)
..............................Garfield Comic (S523b)
..............................They Found Her!!!! (S467)
..............................Winnie The Pooh Comic Strips (S628c)
..............................Mickey - GIF (S444)
..............................Mickey And Minnie In Divorce Court (S329b)

Also see ALIEN file   - 'Minions - Alien Puppy' - Short Film
         BIRDS file   - 'Snow White Animated GIF'
         BUGS_ETC-SUPP- 'Larva - Korean Animations'
         COMPUTER-SUP2- 'South Park - Make Love, Not Warcraft' - Cartoon
         CANADIAN file- 'Cartoony Prank' - Video
         CARS1 file   - '11 Gas Price Cartoons'
         CARS-SUPP3   - 'Snoopy - Obey The Road Signs'
.........CATS1 file   - 'The Aristocats Animated GIF'
         CATS2 file   - 'Simon's Cat In "Wake-Up"' - Video
         CATS-SUPP    - 'Simon's Cat In "Snow Business"' - Video
         CHRISTMAS SUP- 'Simon's Cat In "Fowl Play"' - Video
         CHURCH-SUPP2 - 'Church Mice - A Christian Comic'
         COWBOY2 file - 'Jim Lisk, A Cowboy Cartoonist'
         yyDRAWINGS   - 'Find Homer Simpson' - Drawing
         FAIRY TALES  - (see whole file)
         FAIRYTALE-SUP- 'Tinderella: A Modern Fairy Tale' - Video
         FARMER-SUPP  - 'Fat - Farm Animals' - Animated Short Video
         FIREMEN file - 'Mickey's Fire Brigand'
         GAMES2 file  - 'Tetris Vs Contra' - Cartoon Video
         GAMES2-SUPP  - 'Winnie the Pooh Comic Strip'
         GAYS-SUPP    - 'Bizarro Sunday Comic Strip'
         JOBS2 file   - 'Dilbert's Laws Of Work'
         JOB-STUFF-SP2- 'Dilbert Cartoons: Dogbert's Consult Video'
         LISTS file   - 'Top Ten Rejected Dr. Seuss Books'
         LOVE file    - 'Tumbleweed Tango' - Video
.........LOVE-SUPP    - 'Disney's Paperman' - Animated Short
         MUSIC2 file  - 'Tom And Jerry - Cat Concerto' - Video
         NATIONAL-SUPP- 'Yakko's Nations of the World' - Video
         POLICE-SUPP2 - 'Police Artist Sketch Of Robery Suspect'
         POLIT-SUPP2  - 'A Career In Organized Crime'
         QUOTES2 file - 'Quoting Homer'
         STARTREK-SUPP- 'Yakko's Universe Song' - Cartoon
         SUPERHEROES  - 'Nanna Nanna Batman' - Drawing
......................- 'B.C. Sunday Comic Strip'
         SWEDISH_ETC  - 'The Saga of Bjorn' - Video
         THOUGHTS-QUTS- 'Charles Schultz's Philosophy'
         THOU-WARM-SUP- 'Pooh And Piglet Drawing'
         WEDDING file - 'Taking The Plunge' - Animated Short Film
         WED-HNY-SUPP - 'Dancing On The Moon - 1935' - Video

============================================================Top
Subj:     Fourteen Disney Animation Classics (S965d)
          From: Gen Y Kids on Facebook
 Source2: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=86661575
..........0075084?set=vb.812547522148574?type=2?theater
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.......Click 'HERE' to see this beautiful compilation.
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Top
Subj:     Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse (S276, S461)
          From: twistedhumor.com on December 27, 2000

 (Also see 'A Duck Walks Into A Drugstore' in BIRD-DUCKS)

 Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were up in a hotel room and
 decided that they wanted to have sex.  Well, the first
 thing Minnie asks is, "Do you have a condom?" Donald says
 "No."  Minnie tells Donald that if he doesn't get a condom
 that they can't have sex and suggests to Donald that he go
 buy a condom.  She says that maybe they sell them at the
 front desk.  Donald proceeds to go downstairs and gets to
 the front desk.  He asks the hotel clerk if they sell
 condoms.  The clerk says "yes we do" and pulls one out
 from under the desk and gives it to Donald.  The clerk
 asks "Would you like me to put that on your bill?" Donald
 says "NO! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME KIND OF PERVERT?

Top
Subj:     Bizarro Cartoons (S645c)
          By Dan Piraro on 5/15/2009
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/may-15-2009/
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Top
Subj:     Toon Crisis (S516 in Games2)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/4/2006
 Source: (Removed from youtheywe.com)

 This is the best shooting game I have seen in years.  It
 is too cool.  You can play it by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Cartoon Laws of Physics (S235b)
          From: Laugh-A-Lot on 7/30/01
 Source: (Removed from graceweb.org)

 Cartoon Law I
    Any body suspended in space will remain in space until
    made aware of its situation.

 Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland.
 He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he
 chances to look down.  At this point, the familiar principle
 of 32 feet per second takes over.

 Cartoon Law II
    Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until
    solid matter intervenes suddenly.

 Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon
 characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a
 telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward
 motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden
 termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

 Cartoon Law III
    Any body passing through solid matter will leave a
    perforation conforming to its perimeter.

 Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is
 the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions
 and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that
 they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a
 cookie-cutout-perfect hole.  The threat of skunks or
 matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

 Cartoon Law IV
    The time required for an object to fall twenty stories
    is greater than or equal to the time it takes for
    whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty
    flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.

 Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to
 capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

 Cartoon Law V
    All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

 Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock
 to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A
 spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will
 induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a
 chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole.  The
 feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a
 speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially
 when in flight.

 Cartoon Law VI
    As speed increases, objects can be in several places
    at once.

 This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in
 which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from
 the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously.
 This effect is common as well among bodies that are
 spinning or being throttled.  A `wacky' character has the
 option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and
 may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

 Cartoon Law VII
    Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to
    resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.

 This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations,
 but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance
 on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable
 to pursue him into this theoretical space.  The painter
 is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow
 into the painting.

 This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

 Cartoon Law VIII
    Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.

 Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional
 nine lives, might comfortably afford. They can be decimated,
 spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or
 disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed.  After a few
 moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate,
 snap back, or solidify.

 Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

 Cartoon Law IX
    Everything falls faster than an anvil.

 Cartoon Law X
    For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite
    revengeance.

 This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also
 applies to the physical world at large.  For that reason,
 we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.
 

 Cartoon Law Amendment A
    A sharp object will always propel a character upward.

 When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object
(usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting
 straight up, with great velocity.

 Cartoon Law Amendment B
    The laws of object permanence are nullified for
    "cool" characters.

 Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously
 nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will.
 For instance, the Road Runner can materialize signs to
 express himself without speaking.

 Cartoon Law Amendment C
    Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries.

 They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.

 Cartoon Law Amendment D
    Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large
    wavelengths.

 Their operation can be wittnessed by observing the behavior
 of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop.  Its feet
 will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch.  As
 the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall,
 causing the neck to strech.  As the head begins to fall,
 tension is released and the canine will resume its regular
 proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

 Cartoon Law Amendment E
    Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces"
    (spaces in which cartoon laws hold).

 The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the
 universe which postulated that the tensions involved in
 maintaining a space would cause the creation of hydrogen
 from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick
 sized) and unstable (lit).  Such quanta are attracted to
 psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in
 "cool" characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special
 case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their
 advantage.  One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and
 energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding.
 A big bang indeed.

Top
Subj:     Kill The Wabbit - What's Opera Doc?
          From: edapsmas on 9/2/2007 (S555b, S876d)
Drawing from YouTube.com
 Source: (Removed by YouTube.com)

 In 1957, Warner Bros. released what has been acclaimed as
 "The Greatest Animated Cartoon of All-Time": "What's Opera,
 Doc?", based on the opera "Der Ring des Nibelungen" ("The
 Ring of the Nibelung") by Richard Wagner.  You can view it
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Dilbert's Words of Wisdom (S102)
          From: ossama on 99-01-05

  1. I can please only one person per day.  Today is not
     your day.  Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.
  2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound
     they make as they go flying by.
  3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
  4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
  5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into
     a parked car.
  6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
     through a suitable application of high explosives.
  7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get
     along without it.
  8. Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
     and some days you're the statue.
  9. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't
     there the first time you need him, chances are you won't
     be needing him again.
 10. I don't have an attitude problem.  You have
     a perception problem.
 11. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky
     and I thought to myself,  "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
 12. My Reality Check bounced.
 13. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger
     on the escape key.
 14. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
 15. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding
     through peanut butter.
 16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Top
Subj:     Coyote Catches Road Runner (S599b,d)
          From: Youtube.com on 7/4/2008
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/KJJW7EF5aVk

 You can see this cute cartoon video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Coyote Catches Road Runner II (S659b,d)
          From: rfslick on 8/29/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/OQhOcDFbflQ

 Click 'HERE' to see this somewhat dumb, somewhat
 gruesome cartoon, but I like it.

Top
Subj:     Quotations From The Universe According To Dilbert (S72)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 6/14/98

 The Universe According To Dilbert jokes were written by: Scott Adams
 

 Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good
 or evil.  But you still don't want to get any on you.

 You are without romance or mirth... You must be an engineer.

 The status of a temp is somewhere between that of a security
 guard and the crud behind the refrigerator.

 I used to feel guilty about smashing bugs until I realized
 it's a sport.

 And in the news... Body parts were strewn for miles...
 Check your sandwich.

 Our company does not discriminate on the basis of race,
 sex, age, or religion... unless the religions are bizarre
 and unpopular and can be considered cults (and so may be
 freely discriminated against), or you are a short, fat,
 bald, ugly guy (and can be picked on without restraint),
 or are a nerd, smoker, or single person.  Stupid people
 may now also be discriminated against due to the failure
 of their lobbying efforts.

 I used to be clueless but I've turned that situation
 around 360 degrees.

 Trying to attain vast power and world domination again?!
 Bad dog! Bad dog!

 There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

 All your problems are caused by invisible people.  To
 eliminate your problems, all you need to do is find them
 and kill them.

 Someday, the people who know how to use computers will
 rule over those who don't.  And there will be a special
 name for them: secretaries.

 In the next hour, you will learn how to cope with guilt
 the Dogbert way.  And if you don't, well, it turns out
 I get paid anyway.

 Running feels awful, but it will let you live longer...
 So, life will feel awful, but at least it will last longer.

 Before you defeat the competition, you must
 first subjugate the other departments.

 It's not a cult. Think of it as a gang of morons
 who have nothing better to do with their lives.

 Hello!  This is a long-distance phone company with vague
 promises of unverifiable savings if you switch to us.  Is
 this a convenient time for you? No? OK, we'll call back later.

 If you have everything, gloat. When that gets boring,
 start your own line of perfumes.

 If you touch any key, our software will lock up.
 Call us and we'll blame it on Microsoft.

 Always put off dealing with time-wasting morons.  If you
 would like to know how... I'll get back to you on that.

 There's more to science than just hurting small animals,
 but it's the part that's the most fun.

 What do you call a dog that's been run over by
 a steamroller?  Spot.

 Knowledge is power... But power corrupts... And corruption
 is a crime... And crime doesn't pay... So if you keep on
 studying you'll go broke!

 Nature has a way of compensating for weaknesses,
 which is why stupid people have big mouths.

 Time slows down as you approach the speed of light...
 But time flies when you're having fun...  So if you walk
 slower, do you have more fun or do you just get more light?

 It is said that man's ability to reason that separates him
 from mere animals, but then again the animal kingdom has no
 equivalent to "championship wrestling."

 One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend
 to be dead.

 If you haven't accomplished anything so far, then your
 best days are likely to be ahead of you.  But then, you
 should consider your track record.

 Intelligence has much less practical application than
 you'd think.

 Used car salesmen are not in it for the money.
 They just like lying to strangers.

 To become one with your computer is to reach
 a state of... nerdvana.

 When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating,
 humanity is doomed.

Top
Subj:     Opus Comic Strip Returns (S968)
          by Berkeley Breathed
Source: https://www.facebook.com/berkeleybreathed
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..Bloom County comic strip ran from 1980 through 1989.
..After a twenty-five year pause, it is back and this
..is it's first strip posted on Monday, July 13, 2015
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Top
Subj:     Actual Dilbert Quotes From Managers (S73)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 6/14/98

 A magazine ran a Dilbert quotes contest.
 These are actual quotes from managers in the business world:

 As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the
 building using individual security cards.  Pictures will
 be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their
 cards in two weeks. (This was the winning quote from
 Charles Hurst at Sun Microsystems)

 What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will
 encounter.  (Lykes Lines Shipping)

 How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?

 E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data.
 It should be used only for company business.
 (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

 Turnover is good for the company, as it proves
 that we are doing a good job in training people.

 This project is so important, we can't let things
 that are more important interfere with it.
 (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

 Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.
 No one will believe you solved this problem in one day!
 We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy
 for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.
 (R?D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and manufacturing/3M Corp.)

From: Tom_Adams on 98-07-09
 My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal
 that only needed corrections.  She claims the disk I gave her
 was damaged and she couldn't edit it.  The disk I gave her
 was write-protected.  (CIO of Dell Computers)

 Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what
 I say."  (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

 "How About Friday?" My sister passed away and her funeral
 was scheduled for Monday.  When I told my Boss, he said she
 died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day
 of the year.  He then asked if we could change her burial
 to Friday.  He said, "That would be better for me."
 (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

 "We know that communication is a problem, but the company
 is not going to discuss it with the employees."
 (Switching supervisor, AT?T Lone Lines Division)

 We recently received a memo from senior management saying:
 "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today
 regarding the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal
 Affairs Division)

 One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him
 concerning a project I was working on.  I asked him if
 tomorrow would be soon enough.  He said "If I wanted it
 tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for
 it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards.)

 Speaking the Same Language: As director of communications
 I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's
 training programs and materials. In the body of the memo
 one of the sentences mentioned the "pedagogical approach"
 used by one of the training manuals.  The day after I
 routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called
 into the HR director's office, and told that the executive
 vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch.
 When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for
 "perverts" (pedophilia?) working in her company.  Finally
 he showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I
 be fired-and the word "pedagogical" circled in red.  The
 HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the
 word up in his dictionary, and made a copy of the
 definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry.
 He would take care of it.  Two days later a memo to the
 entire staff came out directing us that no words which
 could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could
 be used in company memos.  A month later, I resigned.
 In accordance with company policy, I created my resign-
 ation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday
 paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)

 This gem is the closing paragraph of a nationally-
 circulated memo from a large communications company:
 "(Company name) is endeavorily determined to promote
 constant attention on current procedures of transacting
 business focusing emphasis on innovative ways to better,
 if not supersede, the expectations of quality!"
 (Lucent Technologies)

Top
Subj:     Betty Boop And Grampy (S628b,d)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/23/2009
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/TzYnJ88pD3c

 Betty Boop and Grampy having a party with friends showing
 off all his cool inventions.  Click 'HERE' to see this
 splendid, 1935 cartoon.

Top
Subj:     Dilbert Creater Fools Computer Execs (S55)
          From: Ossama's Laugh on 1/31/98

 SAN JOSE, California (AP) -- Scott Adams doesn't just lampoon
 consultants in his Dilbert cartoon strip, he can also pose as
 one and make managers believe him.

 Adams, whose strip appears in 1,700 newspapers in 51 countries,
 spouted nonsense during a meeting with executives of a Silicon
 Valley company, and most of them -- following the lead of their
 boss -- just nodded in agreement.

 "What if I was a management consultant?" Adams wondered. "I
 could lead a bunch of executives in writing a mission statement
 so impossibly complicated that it has no real context whatsoever."

 An account of Adam's hoax, which happened last month at Logitech
 International -- the world's biggest maker of computer mice --
 was printed in the San Jose Mercury News' Sunday magazine, West.

 Adams pulled off the deception with the cooperation of Logitech
 co-founder and vice chairman Pierluigi Zappacosta.

 Zappacosta summoned executives to a meeting with Adams -- alias
 Ray Mebert -- to draft a new mission statement for Logitech's
 New Ventures Group.  His memo touted Mebert as an expert who
 could help the group "crisply define" its goals.

 Adams is hardly anonymous.  His photo appears on his best-
 selling books and elsewhere, and his Dilbert cartoons get
 pinned up on bulletin boards and employee cubicles at
 innumerable companies, including Logitech.

 He disguised himself with a wig and fake mustache.  He also
 arrived at Logitech's Fremont, California, headquarters with
 a photographer, videotaping crew and a writer.

 He told the group his credentials included work on Procter
 ? Gamble Co.'s "Taste Bright Project," a supposedly secret
 effort to boost sales by improving the taste of soap.

 "There actually are some people who admitted in focus groups
 that they would sometimes taste soap," Mebert explained.
 Executives nodded agreement.

 Mebert sneered at the New Ventures Group's existing statement
 -- "to provide Logitech with profitable growth and related
 new business areas" -- and led an exercise in which managers
 suggested words and ideas that might become part of a new one.

 The new statement read: "The New Ventures Mission is to scout
 profitable growth opportunities in relationships, both
 internally and externally, in emerging, mission inclusive
 markets, and explore new paradigms and then filter and
 communicate and evangelize the findings."

 Finally, the ersatz consultant drew a last diagram, one that
 he said would bring the session into focus.  It was a
 picture of Dilbert, and Mebert then pulled off his wig,
 revealing Adams' thinning locks.

 "You've all been had," he said.  The executives took the
 joke with good grace.

 "If Adams hadn't revealed himself, I wonder how many of us
 would have gone home and tried tasting our soap?" joked
 Jack Zahorsky, senior program manager for control devices.

 Copyright 1997 The Associated Press.

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Subj:     Porky Pig Cusses (S673b,d) 
          From: gattica30 on 11/29/2009
 Source: https://www.youtube.com/embed/J6pJdZCMmZs

 Click 'HERE' to see this cute, short cartoon.

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Subj:     Peanuts Specials For The 90's
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #91 on 98-04-13

 A few years ago, Charlie Brown and the "Peanuts" gang made
 a new friend who developed leukemia in an animated special
 titled, "Why, Charlie Brown, Why?"

 Recently, MetLife has put out a series of instructional
 pamphlets which feature the "Peanuts" gang dealing with
 such issues as the loss of a loved one, writing a will,
 and dealing with a permanent disability.

 Now that Charlie Brown is dealing with important issues,
 how about some "Peanuts" specials for the kids of the '90s?

 We learn about VD in:
      "IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"

 Charlie and the little red-headed girl learn about unwanted
 pregnancy in:
      "I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"

 Is Linus gay?
      "ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"

 Charlie moves back to his house in East L.A in:
      "OYE!  VATO!  QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?"

 See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in:
      "NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"

 Discover a father's forbidden love in:
      "IT'S OUR LITTLE SECRET, CHARLIE BROWN"

 Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:
      "IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"

 What goes on the mind of a serial killer?  Discover the
 inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his
 murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in:
      "GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"

 Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in:
      "ROLL US A FAT ONE, CHARLIE BROWN!"

 Charlie Brown gets his first job in:
      "WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT, CHARLIE BROWN?"

 Charlie Brown peddles his body for crack money while
 stealing social security checks and stripping cars in:
      "GO BLAME SOCIETY, CHARLIE BROWN"

 Peppermint Patty 'goes to town' on Marcie in:
      "WHO NEEDS MEN, CHARLIE BROWN?"

 Charlie gets an AOL account and stays up all night long in:
      "WELCOME!... YOU HAVE MAIL, CHARLIE BROWN"

 Charlie gets a lesson in *serious* pain in:
      "DON'T MESS AROUND WITH DOGBYTE'S GIRLFRIEND, CHARLIE BROWN!"


Subj:     Short Cartoon Jokes
 

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Subj:     Bizarro Cartoons II (S656)
          By Dan Piraro on 8/3/2009
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/august-3-2009/
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Subj:     Voices Of Characters (S649)
          From: Seattle Times on 6/7/2008
 Source: (Removed from seattletimes.nwsource.com)

 This Isaac Asimov's Super Quiz's subject is "Name the
 actor who provided the voice of the character in the
 film".  Initials are provided. (e.g., Merlin in "Shrek
 the Third" (E.I.)  Answer: Eric Idle.)  Click 'HERE'
 to test your skills.
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 To see other Asimov quizes click on.
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Subj:     Trouble For Newspapers Spells Trouble For Cartoonists (S625)
          by Lee Bains, posted Dec 29th 2008 (in Headlines)
Photo from Switched.com
 Source: (Removed from switched.com)
 With newspaper subscriptions continuing to decline,
 cartoonists are beginning to worry, according to a
 report in the New York Times.  Click 'HERE' to read
 this article.
 

Top
Subj:     Opus On Comic Strips (S607c)
          By Berkeley Breathed on August 31, 2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/bloomcounty
 This Opus comic strip discusses death, God, comic strips and
 cartoonists.  You can view this wonderful comic strip by
 clicking 'HERE1'.

 You can view other great Opus Comic Strips by clicking 'HERE2'.
 

Top
Subj:     Free Range (S607c)
          by Bill Whitehead on 8/22/2008
Small drawing from FreeRangecomic.com
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/freerange/2008/08/22
 You can view this comic Strip on how a cartoonist
 creates a new strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     X-Rated Loony Toons (S545b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/23/2007
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This x-rated cartoon will probably offend everyone.
 You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Garfield Comic (S523b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/24/07
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view this cute animated cartoon, by click 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     They Found Her!!!! (S467)
          From: darrell94590 on 1/2/2006
 To see who they found, by click 'HERE'.

 

Top
Subj:     Winnie The Pooh Comic Strips (S628c)
..........Created by A.A. Milne in his 1920s books
..........by Disney on 1/22/2009
 Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
 Click 'HERE' to see these fourteen, very cute comic strips.
 

Top
Subj:     Mickey - GIF (S444)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/21/2005
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
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Subj:     Mickey And Minnie In Divorce Court (S329b)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 5/17/2003
 Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court. The
 judge said, "Mickey, I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce
 on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane."

 Mickey said, "I didn't say she was insane, I said she was
 fucking Goofy!"

 Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson): "The surest sign that
 intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that
 it has never tried to contact us."

 Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius,
    but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with
    all the idiots in the world.  Hobbes: Isn't your pants'
    zipper supposed to be in the front?

 Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

 The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time
    television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

 Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and
    Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.

From: dogbyte on 2/27/2002 (S274c)
 I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bed Rock!

 What person, not a "Seinfeld" regular cast member,
 is featured on every  episode of "Seinfeld"?
 Superman, either by name or pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.

 "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred
  minus one day, so I never have to live without you."
  - Winnie the Pooh

From: LABLaughsClean on 3/10/2005 (S424b)
 "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I
  gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to
  take more than one night.' "  -- Charlie Brown.
 

From: Tom_Adams on 98-04-29 (S65)
  "Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
  'Pooh!' he whispered.
  'Yes, Piglet?'
  'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.
  'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"

From: RFSlick on 98-04-30
 101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two
 Disney cartoon features with both parents that are
 present and don't die throughout the movie.

 Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.

From: auntieg 98-05-09
 The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named
 after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank
 Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #270 on 98-08-31
 "Oh, Bother," said Pooh, as he hid Piglet's mangled corpse.

From: Bobbyt's Place
 What do John the Baptist ? Winnie the Pooh have in common?
 Their middle name.  --  XYTrapp

From: RFSlick on 99-02-14
 Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

From: JCary on 6/15/99
 "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
   -- Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

From: FrankRoesc on 7/20/99
 Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland
 because he doesn't wear any pants.

From: Bawdy.Net Collage #295 on 3/24/99 (S113)
 "Oh, Bother," said Pooh, as he hid Piglet's mangled corpse.

From: dogbyte on 11/9/2001 (S249)
 Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.
   -- Charles Schultz

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/18/2002 (S281b)
 It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
   -- Walt Disney (1901-1966)

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 10/14/2005 (S456b)
 "All our dreams can come true - if we have the courage to
  pursue them."  -- Walt Disney

From: humorlist-digest V2 #34 on 98-02-04
 Q: What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?
 A: Sticks it in Olive Oyl.

From: kmacinty on 6/23/2002 (S282b)
 Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
 A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.

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...........................From GIFs Rubrik:Neon Smiley.
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