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Subj: Computers-Supp (Includes 50 jokes and articles, 26776,22,cf) and Click "Here" for Comp-Supp2 |
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| Subj:
Family Of The Future (S545)
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/1/2007 |
 |
This 3,900 KB movie clip from
a film in the late 60s
depicts family life in 1999.
Comparing the clip to
our life now is interesting
and fun. You can watch
it at the source above, or on
my web site by clicking
'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: The
10 Worst Website Names (S507c)
From: ICohen on 10/11/2006
Everyone knows that if you are
going to operate a business
in today's world you need a
domain name. It is advisable
to look at the domain name selected
as others see it and
not just as you think it looks.
Failure to do this may result
in situations such as the
following (legitimate) companies
who deal in everyday
humdrum products and services
but clearly didn't give their
domain names enough consideration:
1. A site called 'Who Represents'
where you can find the
name of the agent
that represents a celebrity:
http://www.whorepresents.com/
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge
base where programmers
can exchange advice
and views:
http://www.expertsexchange.com/
3. Looking for a pen? Look no
further than Pen Island:
http://www.penisland.net/
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist
Finder:
http://www.therapistfinder.com/
5. Then of course, there's the
Italian Power Generator
company: http://www.powergenitalia.com/
This site says
they are under construction.
6. And now, we have the Mole
Station Native Nursery,
based in New South
Wales:
http://www.molerivernursery.com/
7. If you're looking for computer
software:
http://www.ipanywhere.com/
8. Welcome to the First Cumming
Methodist Church:
http://www.cummingfirst.com/
9. Then, of course, there's these
brainless art designers:
http://www.speedofart.com/
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe?
http://www.gotahoe.com/
Rofl......I guess sometimes it
just pays to take a step
back an look things over...
Ira Cohen
Telecommunications Systems Engineer
Information Technology Division
Finance ? Management Agency
City of Oakland
(510) 238-2187 O/VM
(510) 220-0027 Cell
\\\//
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Subj: Murphy's
Laws Of Computing (S491)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 6/23/2006
When computing, whatever happens,
behave as though you meant
it to happen.
When you get to the point where
you really understand your
computer, it's probably obsolete.
The first place to look for information
is in the section of
the manual where you least expect
to find it.
When the going gets tough, upgrade.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
He who laughs last probably made a back-up.
A complex system that does not
work is invariably found to
have evolved from a simpler
system that worked just fine.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
A computer program will always
do what you tell it to do, but
rarely what you want to do.
\\\//
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Subj: How
To Eliminate Pop-Up Ads (S491)
From: edapsmas on 6/18/2006
While at a bridge tournament
in San Francisco, Jim H. taught
me how to eliminate pop-up ads
from your computer.
Each of us tend to go to our
favorite web sites. Those sites
only have a limited number of
pop-up ads. If you teach your
computer to NOT accept pop-up
ads from those sites, you have
95% of the problem solved.
Here is what to do.
1. When you get a ad pops up,
right click on the ad. Go
down to bottom item, Properties.
The fourth item down in
Properties is the pop-up's internet
address. Highlight it's
address through the .com or
.net and press CTRL-C to place
the address in the clip board
memory.
2. Open up your Internet Explorer
screen. On the tool bar at
the top go to Tools. The
botton item in Tools is Internet
Options. In Internet Options
the second option from the left
is Security. In Security
click on "Restricted sites".
Click on "Sites" to open Restricted
sites. In the
Restricted sites screen the
top window says "Add this Web site
to the zone:". With the
typing cursor flashing in this box,
press CTRL-V to place the pop-ups
internet address in this
window, then click the 'ADD;
button. This will prevent this
site form sending you pop-up
adds.
3. A second location you can
restrict access to sites is in
Tools, Internet Options, Content,
Content Advisor, Approved
Sites, Never.
4. If you make a change and it
causes a problem with a web
site you can just remove the
entry.
Jim thank you again for teaching
me this wonderful piece of
information.
\\\//
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Subj: Why Computers Crash!
By Dr. Seuss (S468, S771)
From: DoctorDebt on 1/12/2006 and From: AFine963 on 10/22/2011 |
To view this Dr. Suess type story on my web site, click 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: Help
Stop Spreading Viruses (S450)
From: darrell94590 on 8/31/2005
FOR EVERYONE WHO SENDS E-MAILS,
PLEASE READ VERY CAREFULLY!
HELP STOP SPREADING VIRUSES!!!
Read the text below...
Do you really know how to forward
e-mails? 50% of us do; 50%
do NOT. Do you wonder
why you get viruses or junk mail? Do
you hate it? Every time
you forward an e-mail there is
information left over from the
people who got the message
before you, namely their e-mail
addresses. As the messages
get forwarded along, the list
of addresses builds, and builds,
and builds, and all it takes
is for some poor sap to get a
virus, and his (her) computer
can send that virus to every
e-mail address that has come
across his computer. Or, someone
can take all of those addresses
and sell them or send junk
mail to them in the hopes that
you will go to the site and he
will make five cents for each
hit. That's right, all of that
inconvenience over a nickel!
How do you stop it? Well, there
are two easy steps:
1) When you forward an e-mail,
DELETE all of the other addresses
that appear in the body of the
message. That's right, DELETE
them. Highlight them and
delete them, backspace them, cut them,
whatever it is you know how
to do. It only takes a second. You
MUST click the "Forward" button
first, then you will have full
editing capabilities against
the body and headers of the message.
If you don't click on "Forward"
first, you won't be able to edit
the message at all.
2) Whenever you send an e-mail
to more than one person, do NOT
use! the To: or Cc: columns
for adding e-mail address. Always
use the BCC: (blind carbon copy)
column for listing the e-mail
addresses. This is the
way that people you send to only see
their own e-mail address.
If you don't see your BCC: option
click on where it says To: and
your address list will appear.
Highlight the address and choose
BCC: and that's it, it's that
easy. When you send to BCC:
in this manner, your message will
automatically say "Undisclosed
Recipients" in the "TO:" field
of the people who receive it.
So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses!
\\\//
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Subj: Geek
Poetry (S311b)
From: KMACINTY on 1/15/2003
The following poem appeared recently
in INFOCUS magazine.
The original authors were Fred
Bremmer and Steve Kroese
of Calvin College ? Seminary
of Grand Rapids, MI.
A poll conducted among INFOCUS
readers had established
"waka" as the proper pronunciation
for the angle-bracket
characters ? and >, though some
readers held out resolutely
for "norkies."
The text of the poem follows:
?>!*''#
^"`$$-
!*=@$_
%*?>~#4
?[]../
|{,,SYSTEM HALTED
The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick
hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar
dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar
under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde
number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot
dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket
comma comma
CRASH.
\\\//
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| Subj:
Computer Problems (S447)
From: LABLaughsClean on 8/23/2005 |
 |
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD COMPUTER PROBLEMS...
A woman went out to a local computer
store to buy a computer
that her family wanted her to
get so she could e-mail them.
The sales person told her that
they would send a technician
with some pointers on using
it.
If she had any problems later
all she had to do was call their
"Technical Support"-- they would
talk her through it over the
phone or come back to her house
to find the problem. The sales
person asked her if she wanted
to purchase a 2-year house
warranty, to which she said
yes.
A few months went by and she
was getting good at sending and
receiving mail and checking
web sites with only one call to
tech support until one day .
.
She called tech support.
SUPPORT: "Hello, technical support how can I help you"
LADY: last night my computer
started making a lot of hissing
noise at me so I shut it down. This morning when I
turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking,
then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing.
SUPPORT: I will have a technician
come over first thing this
morning just leave the computer exactly like it is so
they can find the problem and fix it, or exchange it
for another computer. Give me your address and phone
number, and the technician will be there just as soon
as he can.
When the technician got there,
the lady showed him where the
computer was and explained again
what was happening. This
is what the technician found
wrong. Take a look at the
pictures.. you won't believe
your eyes!
 |
\\\//
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Subj: 12 Steps
For Leaving The Web (S423, S659)
From: LABLaughsClean on 2/25/2005 and 8/31/2009
Sound like anybody you might know?
1) I will have a cup of
coffee in the morning and read my
newspaper
like I used to, before the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast
with a knife and fork and not with
one hand
typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt
to clean the house, wash clothes,
and plan
dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5) I will sit down and
write a letter to those unfortunate
few friends
and family that are Web-deprived.
6) I will call someone
on the phone who I cannot contact
via the Web.
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8) I will listen to those
around me and their needs and
stop
telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear
the music
on the Web.
9) I will not be tempted
during TV commercials to check for
email.
10) I will try and get out of
the house at least once a week,
if it is
necessary or not.
11) I will remember that my bank
is not forgiving if I forget
to balance
my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
12) Last, but not least, I will
remember that I must go to
bed sometime
... and the Web will always be there
tomorrow!
\\\//
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Subj: How
Was I Born? (S413b)
From: JokesUncut on 12/14/2004
"Daddy, how was I born?"
Dad answered: "Ah, my son, I
guess one day you will need to
find out anyway!
Well, you see your Mom and I
first got together in a chat
room on MSN.
Then I set up a date via e-mail
with your Mom and we met at
a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room,
where your mother agreed to
a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to
upload, we discovered that neither
one of us had used a
firewall, and since it was too
late to hit the delete
button, nine months later a
blessed little Pop-Up appeared
and said You've Got Male!
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
What Your Computer Does At Night (S480b)
From: darrell94590 on 3/28/2006 |
You can view this cute SWF movie
on the source above, or on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: The
Total Idiot's Guide to Internet Success! (S380b)
From: DafterLafter on 4/28/2004
MLM FAQ
Let's begin:
Q: How long will it take me to
get insanely rich?
A: Depends on you. Probably
two weeks. Some people take
as long as a month.
Q: Does it take hard work or
long hours to get insanely rich?
A: No. This is the Internet.
Q: Can just anybody get insanely
rich?
A: Yes. This is the Internet.
Q: How do I proceed?
A: As you're surfing around
the net you'll see banners and
links that say
things like "Make Fourteen Million Dollars
in Ninety Days,
Click Here to See How!" Simply click the
link to get started.
Q: It won't really take ninety
days though, will it?
A: Of course not. They just
say that so you'll be pleasantly
surprised and so
it doesn't sound like hype.
Q: Okay, I've found one that
says "Retire to Your Own
Caribbean Isle
in One Month!" Is that good?
A: Perfect.
Q: What does MLM mean?
A: Nobody really knows. Morons
Lose Money has been snidely
suggested by the
little-brains.
Q: I signed up and now I sell
low phone rates. They say it's
the easiest thing
to sell because everyone uses a phone.
And since it's
MLM, by the time my third level is operating
I'll be making
$345,915.45 per week.
A: Conservatively.
Q: They say the first step is
to get my mother into the
program. Why is
my sponsor happy that Mom has Alzheimers?
A: Your sponsor is a shrewd
business person. People with any
sort of memory
disorder make the best targ... uh, clients.
You can switch
your mother's long distance carrier for her,
and then start
calling the other members of her support group.
Q: That sounds a little fishy.
A: The ends justify the means.
You are offering people
substantial savings
on long distance. It's for their own good.
Q: How else can I get new business?
A: Spam. Spam. Spam.
Q: I thought spam was bad.
A: No, spam is good. Anyone
who says it's bad is just jealous
because their brains
are too small.
Q: But won't I lose my web host
and ISP?
A: In the get-rich-quick business,
it's important to cultivate
a zen-like non-attachment
to service providers.
Q: What else can I do to promote
my new business?
A: Here's a list of suggestions:
--Sign up with a free website
provider and fill your site
with zany colors and flashy
banners. --Join every free banner
exchange. --Get your own free-for-all
links page. --Join
every opt-in email list with
the word Money, Rich or Lackwit
in the title. --Buy software
that submits your site URL to
the 15,000 most important search
engines. --Buy software
that submits your ad to the
50,000 most-read free classified
sites. --Hire a bulk emailer.
--Sponsor a golf tournament.
Q: Okay, I've done all that and
I'm still not rich. I
haven't even driven
my hit counter to its knees yet.
What am I doing
wrong?
A: It's possible that you're
not very bright. Consult one
of your friends
who has retired on their Internet earnings.
Q: What if I don't have any friends
who have retired on
their Internet
earnings?
A: Then contact someone on the
Internet who has retired on
their Internet
earnings.
Q: What if I've never heard of
anyone retiring from their
Internet earnings?
A: Well, then maybe you can
be the first.
\\\//
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Subj: Generic
Virus Alert (S325b)
From: FridaySilliness on 4/25/2003
*?Adjective> Computer Worm ?verb> Internet*
In the wee hours of ?date>, a
?adjective> computer worm
spread ?adverb> throughout the
Internet. Dubbed ?silly
name> because ?ridiculous reason
that doesn't explain
anything about how it works>,
and also known as ?another
random name> and ?another random
name>, the worm has
infected an estimated ?number>
systems within ?length
of time>. Experts are
calling this worm the most
?adjective> since ?date in the
past>.
The worm exploits a hole in ?Microsoft
product name>
that was first identified ?number>
months ago by
?security company name>.
In an attempt to secure the
planet, ?same company> released
detailed information
about the vulnerability and
how to exploit it. They
also mentioned how to fix it,
but apparently ?noun>
listened. Coincidentally,
the worm that exploited
this hole was also first identified
by ?same company>.
Even more coincidentally, they
make a product to
protect against ?noun>.
"Actually, it's not really a
?noun>, it's a ?noun>,"
said ?Pete Lindstrom, or some
other person seeking
publicity>. "A true ?noun>
works by ?random filler
that nobody will read>."
The worm's payload ?verb> every
system by ?verb ending
in -ing> the ?noun>. Comparatively
speaking, this is
much worse than ?another worm>
but not as bad as
?another worm>. The computers
of ?place> were hit the
hardest. Current damage
is estimated at ?dollar figure
more than the GNP of two-thirds
of the world's nations>.
"This worm has the potential
to ?something or other>,"
said ?Pete Lindstrom, or some
other person trying hard
to come up with something interesting
to say ;-)>." It
just goes to show you that ?another
something or other>."
Though there is no way to protect
against this particular
bug, experts recommend trying
?longshot one> or ?longshot
two>, neither of which matter,
since nobody will do it
anyway.
[Note - taken from comp.risks,
posted by permission of
Pete Lindstrom. My thanks
to him - ed]
\\\//
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| Subj:
How Computers Work (S481)
From: gattica30 on 4/8/2006 |
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\\\//
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Subj: Your
Computer Could Be Killing You (S313b)
From: pns on 1/29/2003
News article, not a joke
From:
Silicon Valley/San Jose Business Journal
- January 29, 2003
Sitting at a computer for long
periods of time could kill
you, according to a new study
reported in the February 2003
edition of the European Respiratory
Journal.
It says there is a risk of developing
life-threatening blood
clots from sitting for long
periods at a computer, similar
to a problem that has injured
or killed some airline
passengers on long flights.
The report centers on a case
from New Zealand in which a
young man who spent up to 18
hours a day sitting at his
computer nearly died after developing
a massive blood clot
that formed in his leg veins,
broke off and traveled to his
lungs, a condition called pulmonary
embolism.
This new disorder has been termed
"e-thrombosis" by the
authors to describe what may
become the 21st century variant
of thrombosis associated with
immobility from prolonged
sitting. This condition
was first described in people
sitting in deck chairs in air
raid shelters during the Blitz
in London and subsequently identified
with prolonged air
travel.
Dr. Richard Beasley of the Medical
Research Institute of
New Zealand and his colleagues
warn that there may be a
large unrecognised risk of developing
blood clots in this
situation when the widespread
use of computers in so many
aspects of modern life is considered.
"It may be similar to the situation
with the risk of blood
clots with long distance air
travel it was not until there
was publicity with individual
cases that the real extent
of the problem was recognised,"
he says.
The authors recommend that, with
the current state of
knowledge, it would seem prudent
to advise all people who
commonly sit for prolonged periods
at a computer to under-
take frequent leg and foot exercises
and to take regular
breaks away from their computer.
Paul Schacknow, MD, PhD
Ophthalmologist
Palm Beach Gardens, FL
\\\//
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Subj: Why
You Forward Jokes (S305b)
From: mjsl on 12/4/2002
Sometimes, we wonder why friends
keep forwarding jokes to
us without writing a word, maybe
this could explain:
When you are very busy, but still
want to keep in touch,
guess what you do - you forward
jokes.
When you have nothing to say,
but still want to keep in
contact, you forward jokes.
When you have something to say,
but don't know what, and
don't know how, you forward
jokes.
To let you know that:
you are still remembered,
you are still important,
you are still loved,
you are still cared for,
you are still wanted,
guess what you get? A
forwarded joke from me.
So my friend, next time if you
get a joke, don't think
that I have sent you just a
joke, but that...
I Have Thought of You Today!
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Computer Jokes
| Subj:
Mouse Pad For Men (S592c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/21/2008 Source: http://www.buffaloschips.com/32138.htm |
 |
Top
Subj: E-Mail
By Dave Barry (S324b)
From: joke-of-the-day.com on 4/15/2003
The typical Internet user receives
an average of 17,000
email messages per year.
Of this total, an average of
one message actually contains
useful information (it
says: 'Disregard previous email').
The rest are porno
ads, investment opportunities
for morons (Make Big Money
Petting Kittens At Home!), and
jokes that were originally
set in movable type by Johann
Gutenberg. -- Dave Barry
 |
Subj:
Clean You Monitor Screen (S577b)
From: tom on 2/1/2008 |
Top
Subj: EMail
Spam (S302b)
From: jerry on 11/11/2002
"I can't give out any details
yet, but I can tell you that
stopping fraudulent spam has
become a major priority here."
Comment made by Brian Huseman,
a staff attorney for the FTC,
concerning the problem of illegal
Email spam in the United
States.
In 1998 the FTC asked people
to forward any and all spam to
uce@ftc.gov which now receives
about 70,000 copies of spam
a day. All Emails received,
over 20 million of them, are
cataloged and stored and used
in investigations.
Wired News 5-Nov-02
I don't know if it does any good
but I forward about ten
spams a day to uce@ftc.gov and
tosspam@aol.com. The
second address is for AOL members
and can be reached at
tosspam.
| Subj:
The Connection Failed (S544b)
From: LABLaughsClean20070605 on 6/5/2007 |
 |
Top
Subj: Most
Annoying Page On The Internet (S391b)
From: DafferLaughter on 7/14/2004
at http://www.ezines4all.com/fun/annoying.htm
Consists of 150 interrupt messages
written with a story
line. Don't go there if
you have a low threshold of
patience. You can view
at the source above, or my
web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 |
Subj:
Mouse Parts (S537b)
From: drgolfmd on 5/2/2007 Source: http://www.1-click.jp/ |
How does the small arrow on your
computer monitor
work when we move the mouse?
Haven't you ever wondered how it works?
With the aid of a screen magnifying
lens, the mechanism
becomes apparent. Click
on the source above, or on my
web site by clicking 'HERE'
and you will find out. When
it appears, slowly move your
mouse over the light gray
circle and you will see how
the magic works.
Top
Subj: The
Floys (S381)
From: igiggle on 5/19/2004
These are feisty lil tadpoles in a
computer simulation!
http://www.cite-sciences.fr/syndication/aridolan/aridolan.html
| Subj:
The Danger Of Wi-Fi (S536c)
From: edapsmas on 4/23/2007 Image from
Encyclopedia.It
|
 |
Top
Subj: Traveling
NY to Paris (S535b)
From: drgolfmd on 4/20/2007
Follow these steps [in order
of course]
1. Go to www.google.com
2. Click on maps
3. Click on get directions
4. Go from "New York" to "Paris, France"
5. Click on get directions
6. Scroll down in the directions
to number 24.
 |
Subj:
Are We Too Dependent On Computers? (S524c)
From: edapsmas on 1/31/2007 Drawing from Mark Kistler's Imagination Station |
Top
Subj: How
To Start Your Day w/Smile: (S391)
From: jokes on 7/25/2004
1. Create a new folder
in your computer
2. Name it "George W.
Bush"
3. Send it to the trash
4. Empty the trash
5. Your computer will
ask you, "Do you really want to get
rid of
George W. Bush?"
6. Answer calmly, "Yes."
and press the mouse button firmly.....
(This doesn't work on Macs, only
in Windows.)
| Subj:
Clean Out Your Mailbox (S524c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/30/2007 |
 |
Top
Subj: Ebay
Auction Of A Wife's Parking Lot Sex (S388)
From: jerry on 7/5/2004
Ebay auction 6306185592 is a
video tape of a man's wife
having s*ex in a parked car
with another man. It's being
auctioned off to raise the $6,000
the man needs to file
for a divorce.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?
ViewItem?category=309?item=6306185592?rd=1
 |
Subj:
The First Hard Drive (S523b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/22/2007 |
Top
Subj: Email
Scams (S416)
From: igiggle on 1/11/2005
At: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/scams/daily/daily.asp
This is an excellent list of
all the present known email scams.
Click on the source above.
| Subj:
Computer Engineer Job Sign (S505b)
From: LABLaughsClean (in Engineer3) on 9/19/2006 |
 |
Top
Subj: Get
Ready For Paper DVDs (S377)
From: CKButch4Femme on 4/20/2004
Quite an amazing peak into the
future of computers at
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3639585.stm
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Subj:
DropLoad (S489c)
From: igiggle on 6/5/2006 Source: http://www.dropload.com/ |
Top
Subj: Good
Firewall Info (S368b)
From: cookpat on 2/11/2004
For good firewall info.: http://grc.com/lt/scoreboard.htm
| Subj:
Nude Surfer (S483c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/24/2006 |
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Top
Subj: Broken
Computer (S266b)
From: jerry on 3/6/2002
A computer user who, reported
that he gets a "General
failure" every time he turns
on his computer, was told
to send his computer back to
headquarters for repair,
but who only sent back the monitor,
and nothing more,
explaining to the puzzled support
person, "...the
monitor was the only one showing
the error."
ComputerWorld 4-Mar-02
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Subj:
How The Internet Changed My Life (S489b)
From:LABLaughsClean on 5/31/2006 |
Top
Subj: EMail
Addresses on the Internet (S354)
From: Steve G. on 11/11/2003
Switz,
If you put any jokes I send
you on your site in the future,
PLEASE do not include my email
address.
Automated spambots scour the
Internet 24/7/365 looking for
email addresses to harvest and
sell to spammers.
Every email address on your
site is subject to being put
on a spammers list.
Again, I'll send you funnies,
but don't include my email.
Thanks.
If you want to put other people's
emails on your site, Try this option
http://www.manastungare.com/asp/preventspam.asp
Example: here is ajswitzer@aol.com after it has been obfuscated:
?A HREF="mailto:%61%6A%73%77%69%74%7A%65%72%40%61%6F%6C%2E%63%6F%6D">Email?/A>
Steve
| Subj:
CleanHouseSign - Cartoon (S397)
From: DafterLafter on 8/31/2004 |
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 |
Subj:
Tips On Housekeeping (S436)
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/1/2005 |
| Subj:
What To Do With Your Old PC (S434)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/23/2005 |
 |
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Subj:
Date My Computer - Cartoon (S434b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/20/2005 |
Top
Subj: Recalibrate
your mouse every so often (S349)
From: gheckman on 10/10/2003
It's always a good idea to recalibrate
your mouse every
so often.
To recalibrate your mouse, click
to the right of the moon.
Then drag the toward the smiley.
If it doesn't work, you
might want to clean your mouse.
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|
 |
From: LABLaughs.com on 10/31/2002 (S300)
If you were plowing a field,
which would you rather use?
Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
-- Seymour Cray (1925-1996),
father of supercomputing
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 11/7/2002
(S301)
To err is human, but to really
foul things up
you need a computer. --
Paul Ehrlich
From: woneye on 8/27/2003 (S344b)
Artificial intelligence is no
match for natural stupidity.
From: The HTML-Computer Stupidities
(S365b)
on
1/24/04 at http://rinkworks.com/stupid/
"On two occasions, I have been
asked [by members of
Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage,
if you put into the
machine wrong figures, will
the right answers come out?'
I am not able to rightly apprehend
the kind of confusion
of ideas that could provoke
such a question."
-- Charles Babbage
(1791-1871)
From: LABLaughsClean on 9/8/2005 (S451b)
"Never trust a computer you
can't throw out a window."
-- Steve Wozniak
From: LABLaughsClean on 2/2/2006 (S472b)
"The big corporations are suddenly
taking notice of the
web, and their reactions have
been slow. Even the
computer industry failed to
see the importance of the
Internet, but that's not saying
much. Let's face it,
the computer industry failed
to see that the century
would end." -- Douglas
Adams
From: LABLaughsClean on 9/26/2006 (S505b)
Computers make it easier to
do a lot of things, but most
of the things they make it easier
to do don't need to be
done. -- Andy Rooney (1919
- )
(From: Quotes1)
"We've all heard that a million
monkeys banging on a million
typewriters will eventually
reproduce the entire works of
Shakespeare. Now, thanks
to the Internet, we know this is
not true."
-- Professor Robert Silensky
of California University
\\\//
-(o o)-
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Smiley destroys his computer
from Smiley_Central |
