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>>>
Subj:   Computers-Supp
              (Includes 46 jokes and articles, 21966n,22,cf,wYT3,16)

    and Click "Here" for Comp-Supp2
 


Scanner from
Millanimations
Includes the following:  Non Sequitur Cartoon II (S663 in Supp2)
.........................If Google Was a Guy (Part 2) - Video (S896 in Supp2)
.........................South Park - Make Love, Not Warcraft - Cartoon (S894 - Sp2)
.........................Siri, iPhone's New Assistant (S869 in Supp2)
..............................Why Are Fire Trucks Red? (S883 in Supp2)
.........................A Wife E-Mails Her Husband (S859 in Supp2)
.........................Bizarro Cartoon (S667 in Supp2)
.........................Paper Is Not Dead - French Ad (S845 in Supp2)
.........................A Day Made Of Glass - Video (S814d in Supp2)
.........................Steve Jobs' 05 Stanford Commencement Speech-Video (S738-S2)
.........................Watson On Jeopardy: Day 3 - Video (S736 in Supp2)
.........................A Dying Granny (S758 in Supp2)
.........................Isaac Asimov Predicted The Internet - Video (S733 in Supp2)
.........................SNL - Your Mom on Facebook Skit - Video (S717 in Supp2)
.........................Google Maps' 360 Degree Feature (S701 in Supp2)
.........................The Muppets Meet The Internet - Video (S683 in Supp2)
.........................15 Best Keyboard Shortcuts - Video (S675b in Supp2)
.........................What Are You Doing Today? (S670b in Supp2)
.........................Facebook On South Park - Video (S697b in Supp2)
.........................Walter Cronkite's Home/Office Of 2001 - Video (S839 in Sup2)
.........................13 Things Interneters Should Know (S144 in Supp2)
.........................What the Internet Is Doing To Our Brains - Video (S852-Sup2)
.........................Y-To-K (S116 in Supp2)
.........................I've Removed All Cookies - Cartoon (S905 in Supp2)
.........................Career Comparison (S106 in Supp2)
.........................
.........................Pickles Comic Strip (S939)
.........................Family Of The Future - Video (S545)
.........................The 10 Worst Website Names (S507c, S810)
.........................Murphy's Laws Of Computing (S491)
.........................How To Eliminate Pop-Up Ads (S491)
.........................Why Computers Crash! By Dr. Seuss (S468, S771)
.........................Help Stop Spreading Viruses (S450)
.........................Geek Poetry (S311b)
.........................Computer Problems (S447)
.........................12 Steps For Leaving The Web (S423, S659)
.........................How Was I Born? (S413b, S815)
.........................What Your Computer Does At Night - Video (S480b)
.........................The Total Idiot's Guide to Internet Success! (S380b)
.........................Generic Virus Alert (S325b)
.........................How Computers Work - GIF (S481)
.........................Your Computer Could Be Killing You (S313b)
.........................Why You Forward Jokes (S305b)
                         Short Computer Jokes
..............................Touch The Mouse Pointer To His Nose - SWF (S760-Sup2)
..............................Screen Grab - Simon's Cat - Video (S848 in Supp2)
..............................Four Suicide Bombers (S826 in Supp2)
..............................Senior Citizen Texting Code (S814 in Supp2)
..............................A Running Man And The Cursor (S798 in Supp2)
..............................B.C. Comic Strip (776 in Supp2)
..............................Doonesbury Comic Strip (S706b in Supp2)
..............................Descartes' Famous Quote Updated (S705b in Supp2)
..............................Best Video Game Controller Yet (S689 in Supp2)
..............................Where Can I Find Chuck Norris (S684 in Supp2)
..............................Blonde Password - GIF (S688b in Supp2)
..............................Frank And Ernest Comic Strip (S682 in Supp2)
..............................Samsung's New Transparent Laptop (S677 in Supp2)
..............................I Know What You're Doing - PPS (S675b in Supp2)
..............................Family Lineage (S659b in Supp2)
..............................Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S651 in Supp2)
..............................Working It Out Cartoon (S642b in Supp2)
..............................Ballard Street Cartoon (S632c in Supp2)
..............................
..............................Mouse Pad For Men (S592c)
..............................E-Mail By Dave Barry (S324b)
..............................Clean You Monitor Screen - GIF (S577b)
..............................E-Mail Spam (S302b)
..............................The Connection Failed - GIF (S544b)
..............................Most Annoying Page On The Internet (S391b)
..............................The Danger Of Wi-Fi (S536c)
..............................Traveling NY to Paris (S535b)
..............................Are We Too Dependent On Computers? (S524c)
..............................How To Start Your Day w/Smile:(S391)
..............................Clean Out Your Mailbox (S524c)
..............................The First Hard Drive (S523b)
..............................Computer Engineer Job Sign (S505b)
..............................Get Ready For Paper DVDs (S377)
..............................Good Firewall Info (S368b)
..............................Nude Surfer - GIF (S483c)
..............................Broken Computer (S266b)
..............................How The Internet Changed My Life (S489b)
..............................EMail Addresses on the Internet (S354)
..............................CleanHouseSign - Cartoon (S397)
..............................Tips On Housekeeping (S436)
..............................What To Do With Your Old PC (S434)
..............................Date My Computer - Cartoon (S434b)
..............................Recalibrate your mouse every so often (S349)

============================================================Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip (S939)
          By Brian Crane on 01/07/2015
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2015/01/07
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Top
Subj:     Family Of The Future (S545d) 
          From: LABLaughsClean on 6/1/2007
 Source: (Removed from stupidity.org)

 This video clip is from a film made in the late 60s
 depicts family life in 1999.  Comparing the clip to
 our life now is interesting and fun.  You can watch
 it by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     The 10 Worst Website Names (S507c, S810)
          From: ICohen on 10/11/2006

 Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business
 in today's world you need a domain name.  It is advisable
 to look at the domain name selected as others see it and
 not just as you think it looks.

 Failure to do this may result in situations such as the
 following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday
 humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their
 domain names enough consideration:
 

 1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the
    name of the agent that represents a celebrity:
    http://www.whorepresents.com/

 2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers
    can exchange advice and views:
    http://www.expertsexchange.com/

 3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:
    http://www.penisland.net/

 4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder:
    http://www.therapistfinder.com/

 5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator
    company: http://www.powergenitalia.com/
    This site says they are under construction.

 6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery,
    based in New South Wales:
    http://www.molerivernursery.com/

 7. If you're looking for computer software:
    http://www.ipanywhere.com/

 8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church:
    http://www.cummingfirst.com/

 9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers:
    http://www.speedofart.com/

 10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe?
     http://www.gotahoe.com/

 Rofl......I guess sometimes it just pays to take a step
 back an look things over...

Top
Subj:     Murphy's Laws Of Computing (S491)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 6/23/2006

 When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant
 it to happen.

 When you get to the point where you really understand your
 computer, it's probably obsolete.

 The first place to look for information is in the section of
 the manual where you least expect to find it.

 When the going gets tough, upgrade.

 For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

 He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

 A complex system that does not work is invariably found to
 have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

 The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.

 A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but
 rarely what you want to do.

Top
Subj:     How To Eliminate Pop-Up Ads (S491)
          From: edapsmas on 6/18/2006

 While at a bridge tournament in San Francisco, Jim H. taught
 me how to eliminate pop-up ads from your computer.

 Each of us tend to go to our favorite web sites.  Those sites
 only have a limited number of pop-up ads.  If you teach your
 computer to NOT accept pop-up ads from those sites, you have
 95% of the problem solved.  Here is what to do.

 1. When you get a ad pops up, right click on the ad.  Go
 down to bottom item, Properties.  The fourth item down in
 Properties is the pop-up's internet address.  Highlight it's
 address through the .com or .net and press CTRL-C to place
 the address in the clip board memory.

 2. Open up your Internet Explorer screen.  On the tool bar at
 the top go to Tools.  The botton item in Tools is Internet
 Options.  In Internet Options the second option from the left
 is Security.  In Security click on "Restricted sites".
 Click on "Sites" to open Restricted sites.  In the
 Restricted sites screen the top window says "Add this Web site
 to the zone:".  With the typing cursor flashing in this box,
 press CTRL-V to place the pop-ups internet address in this
 window, then click the 'ADD; button.  This will prevent this
 site form sending you pop-up adds.

 3. A second location you can restrict access to sites is in
 Tools, Internet Options, Content, Content Advisor, Approved
 Sites, Never.

 4. If you make a change and it causes a problem with a web
 site you can just remove the entry.

 Jim thank you again for teaching me this wonderful piece of
 information.

Top
Subj: Why Computers Crash! By Dr. Seuss (S468, S771d)
      From: DoctorDebt on 1/12/2006
  and From: AFine963 on 10/22/2011

 (Also see 'Dr. Seuss Teaches About Computers' in Poetry

 To view this Dr. Suess type story click 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Help Stop Spreading Viruses (S450)
          From: darrell94590 on 8/31/2005

 FOR EVERYONE WHO SENDS E-MAILS, PLEASE READ VERY CAREFULLY!
 HELP STOP SPREADING VIRUSES!!!  Read the text below...

 Do you really know how to forward e-mails? 50% of us do; 50%
 do NOT.  Do you wonder why you get viruses or junk mail?  Do
 you hate it?  Every time you forward an e-mail there is
 information left over from the people who got the message
 before you, namely their e-mail addresses.  As the messages
 get forwarded along, the list of addresses builds, and builds,
 and builds, and all it takes is for some poor sap to get a
 virus, and his (her) computer can send that virus to every
 e-mail address that has come across his computer.  Or, someone
 can take all of those addresses and sell them or send junk
 mail to them in the hopes that you will go to the site and he
 will make five cents for each hit.  That's right, all of that
 inconvenience over a nickel! How do you stop it?  Well, there
 are two easy steps:

 1) When you forward an e-mail, DELETE all of the other addresses
 that appear in the body of the message.  That's right, DELETE
 them.  Highlight them and delete them, backspace them, cut them,
 whatever it is you know how to do.  It only takes a second. You
 MUST click the "Forward" button first, then you will have full
 editing capabilities against the body and headers of the message.

 If you don't click on "Forward" first, you won't be able to edit
 the message at all.

 2) Whenever you send an e-mail to more than one person, do NOT
 use! the To: or Cc: columns for adding e-mail address.  Always
 use the BCC: (blind carbon copy) column for listing the e-mail
 addresses.  This is the way that people you send to only see
 their own e-mail address.  If you don't see your BCC: option
 click on where it says To: and your address list will appear.
 Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that's it, it's that
 easy. When you send to BCC: in this manner, your message will
 automatically say "Undisclosed Recipients" in the "TO:" field
 of the people who receive it.

 So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses!

Top
Subj:     Geek Poetry (S311b)
          From: KMACINTY on 1/15/2003

 The following poem appeared recently in INFOCUS magazine.
 The original authors were Fred Bremmer and Steve Kroese
 of Calvin College ? Seminary of Grand Rapids, MI.

 A poll conducted among INFOCUS readers had established
 "waka" as the proper pronunciation for the angle-bracket
 characters ? and >, though some readers held out resolutely
 for "norkies."

 The text of the poem follows:

  ?>!*''#
  ^"`$$-
  !*=@$_
  %*?>~#4
  ?[]../
  |{,,SYSTEM HALTED

 The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:

  Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
  Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
  Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
  Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
  Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
  Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma
  CRASH.

Top
Subj:     Computer Problems (S447d)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 8/23/2005
 Sources: (Removed from lablaughs.com)

 AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD COMPUTER PROBLEMS...

 A woman went out to a local computer store to buy a computer
 that her family wanted her to get so she could e-mail them.
 The sales person told her that they would send a technician
 with some pointers on using it.

 If she had any problems later all she had to do was call their
 "Technical Support"-- they would talk her through it over the
 phone or come back to her house to find the problem. The sales
 person asked her if she wanted to purchase a 2-year house
 warranty, to which she said yes.

 A few months went by and she was getting good at sending and
 receiving mail and checking web sites with only one call to
 tech support until one day . .

 She called tech support.

 SUPPORT: "Hello, technical support how can I help you"

 LADY: last night my computer started making a lot of hissing
       noise at me so I shut it down.  This morning when I
       turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking,
       then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing.

 SUPPORT: I will have a technician come over first thing this
       morning just leave the computer exactly like it is so
       they can find the problem and fix it, or exchange it
       for another computer.  Give me your address and phone
       number, and the technician will be there just as soon
       as he can.

 When the technician got there, the lady showed him where the
 computer was and explained again what was happening.  This
 is what the technician found wrong.  Take a look at the
 pictures.. you won't believe your eyes!
.
.......................
 

Top
Subj:     12 Steps For Leaving The Web (S423, S659)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 2/25/2005 and 8/31/2009

 Sound like anybody you might know?

 1)  I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my
     newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

 2)  I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with
     one hand typing.

 3)  I will get dressed before noon.

 4)  I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes,
     and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.

 5)  I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate
     few friends and family that are Web-deprived.

 6)  I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact
     via the Web.

 7)  I will read a book...if I still remember how.

 8)  I will listen to those around me and their needs and
     stop    telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear
     the music on the Web.

 9)  I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for
     email.

 10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week,
     if it is necessary or not.

 11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget
     to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

 12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to
     bed sometime ... and the Web will always be there
     tomorrow!

Top
Subj:     How Was I Born? (S413b, S815)
          From: JokesUncut on 12/14/2004
      and From: virv on 8/26/2012

 "Daddy, how was I born?"

 Dad answered: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to
 find out anyway!

 Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat
 room on MSN.

 Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at
 a cyber-cafe.

 We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to
 a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to
 upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a
 firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete
 button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared
 and said You've Got Male!

Top
Subj:     What Your Computer Does At Night (S480b,d)
..........From: darrell94590 on 3/28/2006
 Source: http://www.toilette-humor.com/computer-at-night.html

 You can view this cute video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     The Total Idiot's Guide to Internet Success! (S380b)
          From: DafterLafter on 4/28/2004

 MLM FAQ

 Let's begin:

 Q: How long will it take me to get insanely rich?
 A: Depends on you. Probably two weeks. Some people take
    as long as a month.

 Q: Does it take hard work or long hours to get insanely rich?
 A: No. This is the Internet.

 Q: Can just anybody get insanely rich?
 A: Yes. This is the Internet.

 Q: How do I proceed?
 A: As you're surfing around the net you'll see banners and
    links that say things like "Make Fourteen Million Dollars
    in Ninety Days, Click Here to See How!" Simply click the
    link to get started.

 Q: It won't really take ninety days though, will it?
 A: Of course not. They just say that so you'll be pleasantly
    surprised and so it doesn't sound like hype.

 Q: Okay, I've found one that says "Retire to Your Own
    Caribbean Isle in One Month!" Is that good?
 A: Perfect.

 Q: What does MLM mean?
 A: Nobody really knows. Morons Lose Money has been snidely
    suggested by the little-brains.

 Q: I signed up and now I sell low phone rates. They say it's
    the easiest thing to sell because everyone uses a phone.
    And since it's MLM, by the time my third level is operating
    I'll be making $345,915.45 per week.
 A: Conservatively.

 Q: They say the first step is to get my mother into the
    program. Why is my sponsor happy that Mom has Alzheimers?
 A: Your sponsor is a shrewd business person. People with any
    sort of memory disorder make the best targ... uh, clients.
    You can switch your mother's long distance carrier for her,
    and then start calling the other members of her support group.

 Q: That sounds a little fishy.
 A: The ends justify the means. You are offering people
    substantial savings on long distance. It's for their own good.

 Q: How else can I get new business?
 A: Spam. Spam. Spam.

 Q: I thought spam was bad.
 A: No, spam is good.  Anyone who says it's bad is just jealous
    because their brains are too small.

 Q: But won't I lose my web host and ISP?
 A: In the get-rich-quick business, it's important to cultivate
    a zen-like non-attachment to service providers.

 Q: What else can I do to promote my new business?
 A: Here's a list of suggestions:

 --Sign up with a free website provider and fill your site
 with zany colors and flashy banners. --Join every free banner
 exchange. --Get your own free-for-all links page. --Join
 every opt-in email list with the word Money, Rich or Lackwit
 in the title. --Buy software that submits your site URL to
 the 15,000 most important search engines. --Buy software
 that submits your ad to the 50,000 most-read free classified
 sites. --Hire a bulk emailer. --Sponsor a golf tournament.

 Q: Okay, I've done all that and I'm still not rich.  I
    haven't even driven my hit counter to its knees yet.
    What am I doing wrong?
 A: It's possible that you're not very bright.  Consult one
    of your friends who has retired on their Internet earnings.

 Q: What if I don't have any friends who have retired on
    their Internet earnings?
 A: Then contact someone on the Internet who has retired on
    their Internet earnings.

 Q: What if I've never heard of anyone retiring from their
    Internet earnings?
 A: Well, then maybe you can be the first.

Top
Subj:     Generic Virus Alert (S325b)
          From: FridaySilliness on 4/25/2003

 *?Adjective> Computer Worm ?verb> Internet*

 In the wee hours of ?date>, a ?adjective> computer worm
 spread ?adverb> throughout the Internet.  Dubbed ?silly
 name> because ?ridiculous reason that doesn't explain
 anything about how it works>, and also known as ?another
 random name> and ?another random name>, the worm has
 infected an estimated ?number> systems within ?length
 of time>.  Experts are calling this worm the most
 ?adjective> since ?date in the past>.

 The worm exploits a hole in ?Microsoft product name>
 that was first identified ?number> months ago by
 ?security company name>.  In an attempt to secure the
 planet, ?same company> released detailed information
 about the vulnerability and how to exploit it.  They
 also mentioned how to fix it, but apparently ?noun>
 listened.  Coincidentally, the worm that exploited
 this hole was also first identified by ?same company>.
 Even more coincidentally, they make a product to
 protect against ?noun>.

 "Actually, it's not really a ?noun>, it's a ?noun>,"
 said ?Pete Lindstrom, or some other person seeking
 publicity>.  "A true ?noun> works by ?random filler
 that nobody will read>."

 The worm's payload ?verb> every system by ?verb ending
 in -ing> the ?noun>.  Comparatively speaking, this is
 much worse than ?another worm> but not as bad as
 ?another worm>.  The computers of ?place> were hit the
 hardest.  Current damage is estimated at ?dollar figure
 more than the GNP of two-thirds of the world's nations>.
 "This worm has the potential to ?something or other>,"
 said ?Pete Lindstrom, or some other person trying hard
 to come up with something interesting to say ;-)>."  It
 just goes to show you that ?another something or other>."

 Though there is no way to protect against this particular
 bug, experts recommend trying ?longshot one> or ?longshot
 two>, neither of which matter, since nobody will do it
 anyway.

 [Note - taken from comp.risks, posted by permission of
 Pete Lindstrom.  My thanks to him - ed]

Top
Subj:     How Computers Work (S481)
          From: gattica30 on 4/8/2006
 Source: http://www.newportharbor.us/computerworks.htm
 This animated GIF is quite nice.  Well worth the trip
 to the internet.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Your Computer Could Be Killing You (S313b)
          From: pns on 1/29/2003

 News article, not a joke

From:
Silicon Valley/San Jose Business Journal - January 29, 2003

 Sitting at a computer for long periods of time could kill
 you, according to a new study reported in the February 2003
 edition of the European Respiratory Journal.

 It says there is a risk of developing life-threatening blood
 clots from sitting for long periods at a computer, similar
 to a problem that has injured or killed some airline
 passengers on long flights.

 The report centers on a case from New Zealand in which a
 young man who spent up to 18 hours a day sitting at his
 computer nearly died after developing a massive blood clot
 that formed in his leg veins, broke off and traveled to his
 lungs, a condition called pulmonary embolism.

 This new disorder has been termed "e-thrombosis" by the
 authors to describe what may become the 21st century variant
 of thrombosis associated with immobility from prolonged
 sitting.  This condition was first described in people
 sitting in deck chairs in air raid shelters during the Blitz
 in London and subsequently identified with prolonged air
 travel.

 Dr. Richard Beasley of the Medical Research Institute of
 New Zealand and his colleagues warn that there may be a
 large unrecognised risk of developing blood clots in this
 situation when the widespread use of computers in so many
 aspects of modern life is considered.

 "It may be similar to the situation with the risk of blood
 clots with long distance air travel it was not until there
 was publicity with individual cases that the real extent
 of the problem was recognised," he says.

 The authors recommend that, with the current state of
 knowledge, it would seem prudent to advise all people who
 commonly sit for prolonged periods at a computer to under-
 take frequent leg and foot exercises and to take regular
 breaks away from their computer.

 Paul Schacknow, MD, PhD
 Ophthalmologist
 Palm Beach Gardens, FL

Top
Subj:     Why You Forward Jokes (S305b)
          From: mjsl on 12/4/2002

 Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to
 us without writing a word, maybe this could explain:

 When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch,
 guess what you do - you forward jokes.

 When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep in
 contact, you forward jokes.

 When you have something to say, but don't know what, and
 don't know how, you forward jokes.

 To let you know that:
   you are still remembered,
   you are still important,
   you are still loved,
   you are still cared for,
   you are still wanted,
 guess what you get?  A forwarded joke from me.
 So my friend, next time if you get a joke, don't think
 that I have sent you just a joke, but that...

I Have Thought of You Today!


Subj:     Short Computer Jokes

Top
Subj:     Mouse Pad For Men (S592c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/21/2008
 Source: (Removed from buffaloschips.com)
 I can feel my carpal tunnel syndrome healing very fast
 with this wonderful invention.  Click 'HERE' to view them.
 

Top
Subj:     E-Mail By Dave Barry (S324b)
          From: joke-of-the-day.com on 4/15/2003
 The typical Internet user receives an average of 17,000
 email messages per year.  Of this total, an average of
 one message actually contains useful information (it
 says: 'Disregard previous email').  The rest are porno
 ads, investment opportunities for morons (Make Big Money
 Petting Kittens At Home!), and jokes that were originally
 set in movable type by Johann Gutenberg.  -- Dave Barry
 

Top
Subj:     Clean You Monitor Screen - SFW(S577b,d)
          From: tom on 2/1/2008
..........At: (Removed from linein.org)
 You can view this cute SWF by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     EMail Spam (S302b)
          From: jerry on 11/11/2002
 "I can't give out any details yet, but I can tell you that
 stopping fraudulent spam has become a major priority here."

 Comment made by Brian Huseman, a staff attorney for the FTC,
 concerning the problem of illegal Email spam in the United
 States.

 In 1998 the FTC asked people to forward any and all spam to
 uce@ftc.gov which now receives about 70,000 copies of spam
 a day.  All Emails received, over 20 million of them, are
 cataloged and stored and used in investigations.

 Wired News 5-Nov-02

 I don't know if it does any good but I forward about ten
 spams a day to uce@ftc.gov and tosspam@aol.com.  The
 second address is for AOL members and can be reached at
 tosspam.
 

Top
Subj:     The Connection Failed (S544b)
          From: LABLaughsClean20070605 on 6/5/2007
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute animated comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Most Annoying Page On The Internet (S391b)
          From: DafferLaughter on 7/14/2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 Consists of 150 interrupt messages written with a story
 line.  Don't go there if you have a low threshold of
 patience.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     The Danger Of Wi-Fi (S536c,d)
          From: edapsmas on 4/23/2007
 Source: (Removed from news.independent.co.uk)
 (See 'Bees and Mobile Phones' in BUGS_ETC)
 The health risks from wireless, internet connections and
 mobile phones are causing some experts to call them "the
 cigarettes of the 21st century".  You can read this
 illuminating article by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Traveling NY to Paris (S535b)
          From: drgolfmd on 4/20/2007
 Follow these steps [in order of course]

 1. Go to www.google.com

 2. Click on maps

 3. Click on get directions

 4. Go from "New York" to "Paris, France"

 5. Click on get directions

 6. Scroll down in the directions to number 24.
 
 

Top
Subj:     Are We Too Dependent On Computers? (S524c)
          From: edapsmas on 1/31/2007
Drawing from Mark Kistler's Imagination Station
 This test will prove whether you are becoming too dependent
 on computers.  Click 'HERE' to take the test.
 

Top
Subj:     How To Start Your Day w/Smile: (S391)
          From: jokes on 7/25/2004
 1.  Create a new folder in your computer
 2.  Name it "George W. Bush"
 3.  Send it to the trash
 4.  Empty the trash
 5.  Your computer will ask you, "Do you really want to get
     rid of  George W. Bush?"
 6.  Answer calmly, "Yes." and press the mouse button firmly.....

 (This doesn't work on Macs, only in Windows.)
 

Top
Subj:     Clean Out Your Mailbox (S524c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/30/2007
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This is a cute drawing to email to your friends who don't
 check their in-box very often.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     The First Hard Drive (S523b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 1/22/2007
..........At: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This is a photo of IBM's first hard drive in 1965.  It was
 a 5 MB drive.  You can see it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Computer Engineer Job Sign (S505b)
          From: LABLaughsClean (in Engineer3)
          on 9/19/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 This is a cute sign advertising for a computer engineer.  You
 can see the sign by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Get Ready For Paper DVDs (S377)
          From: CKButch4Femme on 4/20/2004
 Quite an amazing peak into the future of computers at
 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/3639585.stm
 

Top
Subj:     Good Firewall Info (S368b)
          From: cookpat on 2/11/2004
For good firewall info.:  http://grc.com/lt/scoreboard.htm
 

Top
Subj:     Nude Surfer - GIF (S483c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/24/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view this cute animated GIF clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Broken Computer (S266b)
          From: jerry on 3/6/2002
 A computer user who, reported that he gets a "General
 failure" every time he turns on his computer, was told
 to send his computer back to headquarters for repair,
 but who only sent back the monitor, and nothing more,
 explaining to the puzzled support person,  "...the
 monitor was the only one showing the error."

 ComputerWorld 4-Mar-02
 

Top
Subj:     How The Internet Changed My Life (S489b)
          From:LABLaughsClean  on 5/31/2006
..........At: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To see this cute cartoon click 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     EMail Addresses on the Internet (S354)
          From: Steve G. on 11/11/2003
 Switz,
 If you put any jokes I send you on your site in the future,
 PLEASE do not include my email address.
 Automated spambots scour the Internet 24/7/365 looking for
 email addresses to harvest and sell to spammers.
 Every email address on your site is subject to being put
 on a spammers list.

 Steve
 

Top
Subj:     CleanHouseSign - Cartoon (S397) 
          From: DafterLafter on 8/31/2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
 To view this cute cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Tips On Housekeeping (S436)
          From: LABLaughsClean  on 6/1/2005
..........At: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view this cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     What To Do With Your Old PC (S434)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/23/2005
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 Six cute pictures of what to do with your old PC.  You can
 view all eleven pictures by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Date My Computer - Cartoon (S434b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/20/2005
..........At: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view the cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Recalibrate your mouse every so often (S349)
          From: gheckman on 10/10/2003
 It's always a good idea to recalibrate your mouse every
 so often.

 To recalibrate your mouse, click to the right of the moon.
 Then drag the toward the smiley. If it doesn't work, you
 might want to clean your mouse.
Stop fucking around and go do something constructive
.

From: LABLaughs.com on 10/31/2002 (S300)
 If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use?
 Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
   -- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing

From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 11/7/2002 (S301)
 To err is human, but to really foul things up
 you need a computer.  -- Paul Ehrlich

From: woneye on 8/27/2003 (S344b)
 Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

From: The HTML-Computer Stupidities (S365b)
      on 1/24/04 at http://rinkworks.com/stupid/
 "On two occasions, I have been asked [by members of
 Parliament], 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the
 machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?'
 I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion
 of ideas that could provoke such a question."
    -- Charles Babbage (1791-1871)

From: LABLaughsClean on 9/8/2005 (S451b)
 "Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."
    -- Steve Wozniak

From: LABLaughsClean on 2/2/2006 (S472b)
 "The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the
 web, and their reactions have been slow.  Even the
 computer industry failed to see the importance of the
 Internet, but that's not saying much.  Let's face it,
 the computer industry failed to see that the century
 would end."  -- Douglas Adams

From: LABLaughsClean on 9/26/2006 (S505b)
 Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most
 of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be
 done.  -- Andy Rooney (1919 - )

(From: Quotes1)
 "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million
 typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of
 Shakespeare.  Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is
 not true."
   -- Professor Robert Silensky of California University

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..........................From Smiley_Central.
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