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Subj:     Drinking Supplement
                 (Includes 16 jokes and articles, 10991,12,cf,md4w,9)

Drinking Woman from
darrell94590@sbcglobal.net
Includes the following:  Robin Williams On Alcoholics - Video (S846)
.........................Drinking And Driving (S798)
.........................Drinking Booze From The Bottle - Animation (S911)
.........................How To Clean With Vodka: (S520b)
.........................Spiral Wine Cellar In The Kitchen (S720)
.........................Seeing The Ex-Wife Drink (S502b)
.........................Party In The Stomach - Video (S575)
.........................Quotes On Drinking - Thoughts on Beer (S41, S533b)
.........................Short Drinking Jokes
..............................1919 Anti-Drinking Photograph/Poster (S767)
..............................A Drinking Problem (S482c)
..............................How Tequila Works (S632)
..............................Alcohol Is Bad For The Legs (S575b)
..............................Drinking Idiot - GIF (S537c)
..............................Drinking Water Vs Drinking Booz (S530c)
..............................Police Stop A DUI - Video (S501)
..............................I'm A Drunk - Bumper Sticker (S497)
..............................13 Reason's Not To Drink w/Your "Friends" (S495)
..............................
============================================================Top
Subj:     Robin Williams On Alcoholics (S846d)
          From: YouTube.com on 3/31/2013
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=uLtPp_xIpC4&vq=large
 Source2: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1560169/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl

 This is a HBO Comedy special titled Weapons of Self
 Destruction. In this special taped at DAR Constitution
 Hall in 2009, Robin covers such topics global warming,
 sex and politics, the state of health care in the
 country, drugs, and more personal topics including alcoholism.

 In this five minute routine, Robin Williams jokes about
 alcoholics and alcoholism from his personal experiences.
 Click on the top source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to listen
 to Robin joke about his own addiction.

Top
Subj:     Drinking And Driving (S798)
          From: redcatt on 4/24/2012
 Source: http://conservativepoliticalforum.com/jokes/drinking-driving/

 I would like to share an experience with you about drinking
 and driving.  As you well know, some of us have been known
 to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home
 from the odd social session over the years.

 A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with
 some friends at the Marriott Hotel and had a few too many
 beers and some rather nice red wine.  Knowing full well I
 may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've
 never done before: I took a bus home.

 Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a
 bus, they waved it past.

 I arrived home safely without incident which was a real
 surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not
 sure where I got it.

Top
Subj:     Drinking Booze From The Bottle (S911d)
          From: Spencer Wong on Facebook
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10203894611908466

 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see this
 ballet like animation of how to drink booze from the bottle.

Top
Subj:     How To Clean With Vodka: (S520b)
          From: gordonschuk on 1/7/2007
 

DID YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT Vodka

 1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with
    vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.

 2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a
    trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let
    set five minutes and wash clean.  The alcohol in the
    vodka kills mold and mildew.

 3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a
    soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka.  The alcohol in
    the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

 4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka
    and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol
    after shaving.  The vodka disinfects the blade and
    prevents rusting.

 5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then
    blot dry.

 6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an
    astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

 7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo.
    The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair,
    and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

 8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees
    or wasps to kill them.

 9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a
    Ziplock freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable
    ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed
    lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid
    tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid
    through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches
    and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your
    chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

13. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove
    the oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth.  Allow your
    gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

16. NEVER DRINK THE STUFF - IT'LL KILL YOU!!

Top
Subj:     Spiral Wine Cellar In The Kitchen (S720)
          From: tom
          on 10/26/2010 (in Food-Supp)
 Source1: http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/wine/trapdoor-
..........in-the-kitchen-floor-spiral-wine-cellars-074465
 Source2: http://elitechoice.org/2009/01/22/spiral-wine-
..........cellars-through-the-30000-trapdoor-in-your-kitchen/

 The Spiral Cellar system was developed in 1978 by a Frenchman
 who saw that few modern houses had wine cellars, but that
 people still needed a place to store their wine.  If a wine-
 lover has a serious collection it can quickly outgrow wine
 racks and refrigerator units.  So he came up with the Spiral
 Cellar design, which uses the earth to insulate and create
 good storage conditions.  It does this, however, in a fraction
 of the space of a regular cellar.  It also can maintain a
 constant temperature with no power required.

 A spiral cellar is dug into the floor by a professional team,
 and the cellar storage itself is created from concrete wrapped
 in a watertight lining.  Passive ventilation keeps the temper-
 ature around 55°, an ideal temperature for wine storage.  There
 are several sizes, holding from 1000-1600 bottles.

 Of course, this is one indulgence for wealthy or well-off wine
 drinkers only.  The Spiral Cellar purchase and installation
 runs at least $30,000.  Click 'HERE' to see and read more
 about wine cellars in the kitchen.
 

Top
Subj:     Seeing The Ex-Wife Drink (S502b)
          From: darrell94590 on 8/31/2006

 A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush Restaurant
 and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her
 gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.

 The wife asks, do you know her?"

 "Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife.  She took to
 drinking right after we divorced 7 years ago, and I hear she
 hasn't been sober since."

 "My God!" said  the wife.  "Who would think a person could go
 on celebrating that long?"

Top
Subj:    Party In The Stomach (S575d)
         Comedy Routine by Jim Breuer
         From: tom on 1/17/2008
Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/mD_WPcSGHgs

 Jim Breuer describes a thing we all have had once or twice.
 Click 'HERE' to view this very good comedy routine.

Top
Subj:     Quotes On Drinking - Thoughts on Beer (S41, S533b)
          From: JCary on 08/25/2000
      and From: AFine963 on 4/3/2007

 Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drank I
 feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about
 the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.
 If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and
 their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, "It
 is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come
 true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
   -- by Jack Handy

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
 what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in
 the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
   -- Frank Sinatra

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
 that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking
 than most people.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
   -- Henny Youngman

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
 people are laughing WITH you.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
     --Stephen Wright

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you
 to think you can sing.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 When we drink, we get drunk.
 When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
 When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
 When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
 Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
   -- Brian O'Rourke

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy!
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
     -- Benjamin Franklin

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor
 in dancing like a retard.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
 mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a
 fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well
 with pizza.    -- Dave Barry

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
 your friends over and over again that you love them.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The problem with the world is that everyone is a few
 drinks behind.    -- Humphrey Bogart

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
 you are whispering when you are not.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
 you are whispering when you are not.

 Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
     --Catherine Zandonella

 Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

 Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.
 Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder . . .

 Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
     --Oscar Wilde
 

 Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get
 wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.

 I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal
 lobotomy.  --Tom Waits

 Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

 Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore

 Beer: Nature's laxative.
 

From: humorlist-digest V1 #236 on 97-10-30
 You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an
 airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team,
 or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
     -- Frank Zappa

 Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than
 alcohol has taken out of me.    -- Winston Churchill

From: LABLaughsClean on 6/7/2005 (S437b - political2)
 "Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is,
 however, a prejudice that many people have been able to
 overcome." -- Winston Churchill

 Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
     -- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
 Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
     -- His reply

 He was a wise man who invented beer.    -- Plato

 A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency
 to thank her.    -- W.C. Fields

 What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
     -- W.C. Fields

 If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer,
 I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
   -- Deep Thought, Jack Handy

 Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen
 and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water,
 a vital ingredient in beer.    -- Dave Barry

 Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from
 urine.  -- David Moulton

 People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer;
 they just like to pee a lot.  -- Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

 Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
   -- Kaiser Wilhelm

 I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
   -- Homer Simpson

 I drink to make other people interesting.  -- George Jean Nathan

 They who drink beer will think beer.  -- Washington Irving

 An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
 with his fools.  -- For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
   -- Dean Martin

 All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so
 let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
   -- Homer Simpson

 The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk,
 they're sober.  -- William Butler Yeats

 Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach
 you to keep your mouth shut.  -- Ernest Hemingway

 Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
   -- Catherine Zandonella

 If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given
 us stomachs.  -- David Daye

From: cohen on 98-01-28
 Work is the curse of the drinking class.  -- Oscar Wilde

 Gin and I would like to announce our engagement
   -- Mystery Science Theater quip

From: RFSlick on 99-02-05 (S106)
 Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding!

From: icohen on 01/21/2000
 Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
   -- Anonymous

 No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness
 or as good as drink.  -- G.K. Chesterton

 Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of
 denying himself a pleasure.  -- Ambrose Bierce

 Alcohol may cause a few of the worlds' problems, but in the
 end it solves them all.  -- Homer Simpson


Subj:    Short Drinking Jokes

Top
Subj:     1919 Anti-Drinking Photograph/Poster (S767)
          From: AFine963 on 9/25/2011
Drawing from 123RF.com...
 Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/philbetty/5038298033/
 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to this
 very funny, 1919 woman's temperance movement photo.
 

Top
Subj:     A Drinking Problem (S482c)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles
          on 4/17/2006
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19960926
 To view this cute cartoon either go to the source above, or
 go to my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     How Tequila Works (S632b)
          From: darrellvip on 2/12/2009
 

Top
Subj:     Alcohol Is Bad For The Legs (S575b)
          From: tom
          on 1/20/2008
 Click 'HERE' to see Maxine's opinion on alcohol.
 

Top
Subj:     Drinking Idiot (S537c)
          From: jbcary1
          on 5/2/2007
 You can view this short, illuminating, animated GIF on my
 web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Drinking Water Vs Drinking Booz (S530c)
          From: edapsmas on 3/15/2007
 It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter
 of water each day, at the end of the year we would have
 absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria
 found in feces.  In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo
 of poop!

 However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or
 rum, whiskey, Vodka, beer or other liquors) because
 alcohol has to go through a distillation process of
 boiling, filtering, and fermenting.

 It is better to drink wine and talk shit  - than to drink
 water and be full of shit.

 There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
 I am doing it as a public service.
 

Top
Subj:     Police Stop A DUI (S501d in Police-Supp)
          From: edapsmas
          on 8/22/2006
 This is a cute, very funny video.  You can see it
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     I'm A Drunk - Bumper Sticker (S497)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/26/2006
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A19950302
 

Top
Subj: 13 Reason's Not To Drink w/Your "Friends" 
      From: jbcary1
      on 7/20/2006 (S495)
 You can view these thirteen cute photos on my web site by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 3/8/2007 (S529b)
 "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about
  things, and small people talk about wine."  -- Fran Lebowitz

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