Subj: Fat Jokes
(Includes 44 jokes and articles, 02994,19,cf,vXT2a3,15)
AGAG Animation Gallery
Also see BANKING file - 'Taking
Your Young Son To The Bank'
BODY PARTS - 'When Our Body Grows Old'
CAT-SUPP - 'Trip to the Veterinary Clinic'
CHURCH file - 'Blonde Man Gets Black Eye'
DENTIST file - 'Herman Cartoon'
DOCTOR2 file - 'Woman Goes On Anal Diet'
FARMER-SUPP - 'Fat - Farm Animals' - Animated Short Video
FOOD_ETC file- 'God And The Devil Create Food'
......................- (See whole file)
FOOD_ETC2 - 'Purina Diet'
HALLOWEEN - 'Scary Halloween Picture'
MARRIAGE1 - 'Heatin' Up The Weber'
MONKEY1 file - 'Man Pays To Loose Weight 1st Vers.'
......................- 'Men Pay To Loose Weight 2ed Vers.'
OTH-ANIM-SUP2- 'Rollin' Wild' - 4 Video Clips
POETRY-SUPP - 'Mirror Mirror' - Poem
SWIMMING file- 'Skinny Dipping Sign'
WOMEN3 file - 'What Women Think About Their Ass'
YOMAMA file - 'Yo' Mama So Fat Jokes! Volumn 1' - Video
......................- 'Yo' Mama's So Fat.....
Subj: Zack Hill Comic Strip (S613b)
by John Deering and John Newcombe on 10/4/2008
Dr. Mike Evans - 23 and 1/2 hours (S778d)
From: Socorro Bell on 12/14/2011
What is the single best thing
we can do for our health?
This 9 minute video about all aspects of preventive
medicine is excellent and totally clear to the viewer.
Conceived, written, and presented by Dr. Mike Evans,
and illustrated by Liisa Sorsa.
to see the video that changed my view
on good health.
Subj:.....Drabble Comic Strip (S994)
by Kevin Fagan on 2/2/2016
Al Yankovic's I'm Fat (S519c,d)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/3/2007
like Nirvana' in Music-Supp
and 'Weird Al - White And Nerdy' in Nerd
and 'Amish Paradise' in Amish)
This is another wonderful Weird
Al movie, which is a parody
of Michael Jackson's Bad. You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Fat Lady At The Bank
From: TNKRTEACH on 97-10-09
A mother takes her 5 year old
son with her to the bank on
a busy Friday. They get into line behind a rather obese
lady wearing a business outfit complete with a pager. As
the mother waits patiently her son looks at the women in
front of him and observes loudly, "Hey, Mom, she's REALLY
The lady looks at the boy, makes
eye contact with the mother
and gives an understanding smile. The mother quietly
reprimands her son.
After a minute or two the boy
spreads his hands as far as
they will go and loudly says, "I bet her butt is *that* wide."
At this the lady glares at the
little boy and the embarrased
mother severly scolds her son.
Again after a couple of minutes
the boy states loudly, "look
how the fat hangs over her belt." The lady turns and tells
the mother to control her rude child and the mother threatens
him with his very life and existance.
Things in the bank are quiet.
The lady gets to the front of
the line when her pager begins to emit its distinctive tone.
The little boy yells in a panic
at the top of his voice, "Run
for you life Mom, she's backing up!!!!"
Subj: The 12 Step Program (S401)
From: DafterLafter on 7/14/2004
Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com/)
Green Coffee Bean Extract On The Dr.Oz Show
From: gavejo on 11/14/2012 (S827d)
Photo from YouTube.com
||This video is an ad for
Green Coffee Bean Extract.
Green coffee bean extract was recommended by Dr. Oz
on his show featuring his guest, Dr. Lindsey Duncan.
Doctors saying they found the weight loss magic pill
that works for all shapes and sizes.
Photo from FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S747)
By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins on 5/8/11
You're Fat - Hippo Photo (S852)
From: Melissa Weers on Facebook
Drawing from Hippo-on-the-lawn
Subj: Nations'Obesity Rates (S647)
By Anne Carey and Alejandro Gonzales
From: USA Today, May 27,2009, Page 1
Winnie The Pooh (S643c)
..........Created by A.A. Milne in his 1920s books
by Disney on 5/6/2009
|Drawing from Just-Pooh.com|
Dr. Phil Poster (S642)
From: mauryschu on 5/2/2009
Subj: Fat Chick Dancing On A Table (S950)
From: brucejohnsonbaugh on 3/25/2015
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick
dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have
collapsed by now."
|Subj: Summer Is When Girls
Show Belly Buttons
From: darrell94590 on 6/26/2005 (S440)
To view these two pictures, click 'HERE'.
Subj: Outgrowing Cloths (S638)
From: LABLaughsClean on 3/5/2009
While out for coffee with two close friends, one of whom
is a first-time mother to a one-year-old boy, we found
ourselves discussing how he seemed to be growing up too
"Putting away the clothes he's
outgrown is so sad,"
said his mother, "because I know he's never going to be
that small again."
My other friend nodded in agreement,
paused and with
utmost sincerity said, "I understand. I feel the same
way when I put away the clothes that I've outgrown."
Missing Genes Cause Obesity (S610b,d)
From: USA Today on 8/28/2008
Drawing from WonderQuest.com
Subj: Two Fat Ladies Exercies And Talk (S402b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/1/2004
Two overweight middle-aged women are on their daily walk.
They were discussing how hard it is to lose weight as one
gets older. One woman complained that she remained apple-
shaped. The other woman said that no matter how much she
exercised, there was to much fat on her backside and
thighs, and it seemed like it was there to stay.
Her friend agreed, saying, "It's
true. The lard works in
Frank And Ernest on Weight (S602b)
By Bob Thaves on 7/26/08 (in Polit2-Quotes)
Subj: Dirty Picture In The Refrigerator (S309)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 1/1/2003
One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked
me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator
and taped to the inside of the door was a risqu? picture
of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily-clad
"Mom, what's this?" I asked.
"Oh, I put that up there to remind
me not to over-eat,"
"Is it working?" I asked.
"Yes and no," she explained.
"I've lost 15 pounds, but
your dad has gained 20!"
Frank And Ernest On Diets (S598b)
By Bob Thaves on 6/30/2008
Subj: New Police Cars For Mexican City (S289b)
From: jerry on 8/15/2002
The police chief of the Mexican city of Cuidad Juarez wants
to return the new fleet of 160 Chevrolet Cavalier patrol
cars because, he says, his officers a too "ample" to fit
inside the cars.
"They might as well have gotten
us Volkswagen Beetles with
sunroofs. Then at least we could have our heads sticking
out of the top," he says.
Don't Diet This Holiday Season (S518b,d)
From: LABLaughsClean on 12/14/2006
Subj: Americans At A Chinese Soccer Stadium (S421b)
From: LABLaughsClean on 2/16/2005
Maybe we Americans should cut back on the french fries after
all. On a recent trip to shanghai, china, our tour bus
filled with Americans passed a new soccer stadium. I asked
our guide what the seating capacity was.
Upon surveying the occupants
of the bus, he replied,
"Stadium hold 80,000 Chinese. Only 40,000 Americans."
Experts Say (S477c)
From: redcatt on 3/5/2006
Lost Puppy (S476b)
From: darrell94590 on 2/28/2006
Our neighbor has lost her Chihuahua. Your help would be
How To Lose Weight (S404b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 10/14/2004
..........Source: (Removed ezines4all.com/)
Subj: Husband Forgot Anniversary (S461)
From: DoctorDebt on 11/19/2005
A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding
anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be
something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in
2 seconds flat."
The next morning the wife found
a small package in the
driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Funeral arrangements for the
husband have been set for Saturday.
A man goes to his doctor to find
out whats wrong with him.
"Your problem is your fat" says the doctor. "I'd like a
second opion" responds the man. "OK, your ugly too"
replies the doctor.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/18/2001
"you know you're getting fat when you pinch an inch on your
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 9/9/2002 (S293)
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first.
By the second day you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason
From: humorlist-digest V2 #122 on 98-05-17
Skinny people piss me off. Especially when they say things
like, "You know, sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've
forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys.
But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special
kind of stupid to forget to eat.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 2/14/2002
"In a survey, 80 percent of women thought their ass was too
fat, 15 percent said their ass was too thin and the other
five per cent said they didn't care they would have married
From: KMACINTY on 1/17/2003 (S311)
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed
in the end.
From: woneye on 8/27/2003 (S344b)
It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
From: Imogenelumen on 10/16/2003 (S351b)
A husband says to his wife "What have you been doing with
all the grocery money I gave you?"
The wife replies "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."
From: pns on 10/18/2003 (S351b, S571c)
and From: rfslick on 12/31/2007
Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
I can't even get into my own pants.
From: igiggle on 8/27/2004 (S467b -
Trying to convince your wife you're sticking to your diet?
Eat the whole cake; leftovers will only prove you've been
snacking. -- Bill Cosby
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 2/7/2006 (S473b)
"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb
cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate."
-- Dave Barry
From: jtgalvan on 5/21/2006 (S487b)
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 3/25/2007
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
Unless there are three other people." -- Orson Welles
From: LABLaughsClean on 12/26/2008
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty
(40) are 'XL.'
From: LABLaughsClean on 3/5/2009 (S635b)
Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
From: ginafm on 8/27/2009 (S659b)
I have a hard time deciphering the fine
line between boredom and hunger.