.
.
>>>
Subj: Food, Cooking, And Recipe Jokes2
          (Includes 50 jokes and articles, 09 1034,21,cf,wYT2c3b,14)
 

      Click "Here" for Food_etc-Supp
      Click "Here" for Food_etc-Supp2


Woman Baking from
Millanimations
Includes the following:  Cookie Monster Bakes Cookies - Video (S1004 in Supp2)
.........................Jimmy Fallon Makes Blake Shelton Try Sushi (S1011 - Supp2)
.............. ..........The New Supermarket (S500c in Supp2)
.........................Maxwell House's 5 Blend Coffee - Video (S1025 in Supp2)
.........................Ape Pancakes - Video (S929 in Supp2)
.................. ......Bread Shopping Tips (S289b in Supp2)
.............. ..........Zits Sunday Comic Strip (S910 in Supp2)
.........................Eating Dirt In A Restaurant - Web Page (S840 in Supp2)
.........................Banned Doritos Super Bowl Commercial (S894 in Supp2)
.........................How To Read Bar Codes And Plu's - Sign (S901)
.........................Kate Upton Banned Super Bowl Commercial (S891 in Supp2)
.........................The Popinator - Videos (S819 in Supp2)
.........................Selling Peaches Door To Door (S833 in Supp2)
.........................Candorville Comic Strip (S988 in Supp2)
.........................Fantastic Delites Free Vending Machine - Video (S809 -Supp2)
.........................Amazing Frozen Lemons (S821 in Supp2)
.........................David Letterman - Harrison Ford Tells A Joke -Vid(S758-Sup2)
.........................What Flavor Is Extracted From Orchids? (S911 in Supp2)
.........................Buddy Hackett on the Dean Martin Show - Video (S798 - Supp2)
............. ...........The Dinner Party (S541 in Supp2)
.........................Pickles Comic Strip (S1034 in Supp2)
.........................Finger Food with Fingers - Video (S971 in Supp2)
.........................Part of:  A Little History From the 1500s (in Supp2)
.........................Bizarro Cartoon III (S959 in Supp2)
.........................
.........................Pickles Sunday Comic Strip (S748 in Supp)
.........................Mrs. Mac's Hot Car Wash Ad!!!! - Video (S726 in Supp)
.........................Doctor Gives Lecture On Dangerous Foods (S647b in Supp)
.........................Jamie Oliver: Teach Every Child About Food - Video(S684-Sup)
.........................The New Supermarket (S640c in Supp)
.........................Herman Comics On Genetic Engineering (S595b in Supp)
.........................IronWorkz, A Rock Band - Video (S684 in Supp)
.........................Awesome Nutrition Chart (S648b in Supp)
.........................Wooden Spoons (S699b in Supp)
.........................Match The Food To The Logo (S646 in Supp)
.........................Pearls Before Swine Comic Strip (S745 in Supp)
.........................Coca Cola Commercial - Video (S599 in Supp)
.........................Directions (S621c in Supp)
.........................The 5-Second Rule! - Video (S555 in Supp)
.........................Aluminum Foil Box (S593c in Supp)
........ ................The Best Pepsi Commercial Ever (S625b in Supp)
......... ...............The Bake Sale Cake (S544c in Supp)
........... .............Packaged Food Mascots - Memory Test (S626c in Supp)
........... .............Name Three Cheeses (S569 in Supp)
.......... ..............Foodscape (s606 in Supp)
.........................Pickles Comic Strip II (S717 in Supp)
........ ................Butter vs. Margarine (S607b in Supp)
.........................Mona Lisa Recreated With Coffee - Video (S673 in Supp)
.........................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S626c in Supp)
.........................Preparing Spaghetti Sauce In A Hurry (S704b)
.........................Creme d'Or Commercial - Video (S629b in Supp)
.........................Spiral Wine Cellar In The Kitchen (S720 in Supp)
.........................Wings Etc's Ad For Blazin' Balls - Video (S731 in Supp)
.........................
.........................The Swedish Chef | The Muppets (S1003)
............... .........Purina Diet (S497, S804)
............ ............Don't Gross Out The World - Game (S500, S836)
................ ........How To Prepare Fish (S487b, S699)
................ ........Pickles Comic Strip (S668b)
.........................Lobster Tales, $5 Each (S429)
.................. ......Fries From Jack In The Box - Video (S480)
................... .....Foods You Can't Eat (S473b)
.................... ....Chicken At A Chinese Restraurant (S458, S625b)
.........................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S662)
..... ...................Loving Mustard (S440)
....... .................100-Pound Woman Downs Eleven-Pound Burger (S417)
........ ................How To Fry Eggs (S403b)
......... ...............How To BBQ (S397b, S689b)
........... .............Drunk Tells Woman She Is Single (S333, S586)
.............. .........."Cat In The Kettle" By Aaron Wilburn - Video (S561c)
............. ...........Chinese Food Song - Video (S531c)
............... .........Water Or Coke? (S316b, S530b)
................ ........Ordering A Coke (S310b)
................ ........What Food Is This? - Drawing (S1001)
................. .......Food And Heart Attacks (S301, S591b)
............ ............RIDDLE - What Food Is This#2?
.........................Ribs Cooking By The River - Video (S947)
................... .....More Short Food Jokes
..............................Mother Goose And Grimm - Comic Strip (S982 in Supp2)
..............................All Men Should Make Coffee For Their Women (S976-Sup2)
..............................Legos Coffee Mug (S931 in Supp2)
..............................Periodic Table of Elements Coffee Mug (S908 in Supp2)
..............................Did You Hug Your Mug Today? (S893 in Supp2)
..............................Coffee Cup Sign (S890 in Supp2)
..............................Coffee Filter Cartoon Joke (S889 in Supp2)
..............................Book of Coffee (S880 in Supp2)
..............................Coffee Sign (S876 in Supp2)
..............................Coffee Cup Tastes Coffee (S873 in Supp2)
..............................Monday Coffee (S872 in Supp2)
..............................Stressed Pillow (S845 in Supp2)
..............................Bizarro II Cartoon (S836 in Supp2)
..............................Shoe Comic Strip (S788 in Supp2)
..............................Anti-Theft Lunch Bag (S784 in Supp2)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S753 in Supp2)
..............................Garfield Comic Strip (S781 in Supp2)
..............................Two Popsicle Stick Riddles (S824 in Supp2)
..............................
..............................Sandwich Menu From Woolworths In 1957 (S710b in Supp)
..............................Parents Worry About Son's Small Penis (S752 in Supp)
..............................Food Consumption By Families In Countries (S703 - Supp)
..............................Are You Coming To The BBQ? - PPS (S694 in Supp)
..............................Banana Gone Bad (S683a in Supp)
..............................Pickles Comic Strip (S668b in Supp)
..............................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S662 in Supp)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon (S656b in Supp)
..............................Mallard Comic Strip (S651b in Supp)
..............................Close A Bag, Without Using A Bag Clip! - Vid (S651-Sup)
..............................Australian Kiwi Bacon Ad - Video (S634 in Supp)
..............................Herman Comic Strip III (S633b in Supp)
..............................Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S624 in Supp)
..............................Just Water - PPS (S623b in Supp)
..............................Herman Comics On Drug Addiction (S623b in Supp)
..............................New Wine For Seniors (S620b in Supp)
..............................Martha vs Maxine?? (S615 in Supp)
..............................Rubes Comic Strip (S611b in Supp)
..............................Lays Potato Chip Commercial - Video (S608 in Supp)
..............................The Coffee Machine - Video (S600c in Supp)
..............................Capp Comics On Fixing Dinner (S598b in Supp)
..............................Square Watermelons (S593b in Supp)
..............................Dangling Restaurant (S581b in Supp)
..............................Ameriquest's Romantic Dinner (S581 in Supp)
..............................Home Depot Hot Dogs - Video (S579b in Supp)
..............................Lemon Slices in Drinks - Video (S579 in Supp)
..............................String (S568 in Supp)
..............................Jimmy Dean Sausage Phone Call (S566b in Supp)
..............................EggsActly Talented (S548 in Supp)
..............................
..............................How To Peel Hard Boiled Eggs - Video (S538b)
..............................Betty Botter's Bitter Butter (S405b)
..............................Airport Cookies (S535b)
..............................Achieving Inner Peace (S295b)
..............................Banana .... Not Just A Fruit (S532b, S796)
..............................Who Should Brew The Coffee? (S343b)
..............................Interesting Drinking Cups (S528b)
..............................Viagra Soft Drink (S356b)
..............................Lemon Breast Chicken - Great Recipe (S513c)
..............................Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef (S516b)
..............................When Life Hands You Lemons... - Video (S501)
..............................Indigestion (S496c)
..............................Potato Prostitutes (S461b)
..............................Fruit Carving (S448)
..............................Ice Cream Knock Knock Jokes
..............................Cooking Sign (S446b)
..............................Pizza-Pedia (S390b)
..............................Chinese Watermelon Art (S442b-Chinese)

============================================================Top

Subj:     The Swedish Chef | The Muppets (S1003)
          Posted by The Muppets
          From: sam.hutkins on 3/30/2016
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/B7UmUX68KtE
.
..........
.
..,Click 'HERE' to see the Swedish Chef's recipe for popcorn.
.
.
Top
Subj:     Purina Diet (S497, S804)
          From: jbcary1 on 7/29/2006
      and From: Lu Ann Smith Bragg on Facebook on 6/26/12

 I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador
 Retriever and was in line to check out.  A woman behind me
 asked if I had a dog.

 On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet
 again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in
 the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
 awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
 most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

 I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the
 way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina
 nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
 and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
 try it again.

 I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line
 was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy
 behind her.

 Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I
 was in the hospital.

 I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's
 ass and a car hit us both.

 I thought the tall guy behind her was going to have a heart
 attack he was laughing so hard.

Top
Subj:     Don't Gross Out The World (S500d, S836)
          by Bill Haduch
          From: auntiegah and ginafm on 1/3/2010
 Source: (Removed from fekids.com)

 Test your travel and food knowledge with this SWF game.  You
 can play it by clicking 'HERE'.

 This test is a lot of fun.  Rosie got a score of 6 out of 11.
 I won't tell you how bad my score was.

Top
Subj:     How To Prepare Fish (S487b, S688)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 5/20/2006
      and From: Anonymous Jr. on 6/4/2010

 A little girl was watching her mother prepare a fish for dinner.
 Her mother cut the head and tail off the fish and then placed it
 into a baking pan.  The little girl asked her mother why she cut
 the head and tail off the fish.  Her mother thought for a while
 and then said, "I've always done it that way - that's how grandma
 did it."

 Not satisfied with the answer, the little girl went to visit her
 grandma to find out why she cut the head and tail off the fish
 before baking it.

 Grandma thought for a while and replied, "I don't know. My mother
 always did it that way."

 So the little girl and the grandma went to visit great grandma to
 find ask if she knew the answer.

 Her Great grandma thought for a while and said, "Because, in my
 day, we had only a small kitchen, and my baking pan was too small
 to fit in the whole fish".

Top
Subj:     Pickles Comic Strip (S668b)
          By Brian Crane on 10/24/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2009/10/24
.
...
.
.
Top
Subj:     Lobster Tales, $5 Each (S429)
          From:LABLaughsAdult on 3/23/2005

 I was down on Fisherman's Pier in Punta Gorda when I
 happened to see a big sign next to the seafood restaurant
 that read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each. " Amazed at the
 value, I asked the sexy young lady in short short shorts
 standin' next to the sign, and asked, "$5 each for lobster
 tails . is that correct?" -

 "Yes", she said with a big smile, "It's our special just
 for today."

 "Well", I commented, "they must be little lobster tails."
 "Nope," she replied, blinking an extrordinary set of baby
 blues at me "It's thereally a big lobster."

 "Are you sure they aren't green lobster tails - and a little
 bit tough, or maybe a bit old ?"

 "No mister, it's really big red lobster.I'm talkin' about
 and today only!" she tempted.

 ""Today's big red lobster tails - $5 each?", I repeated
 hungrily..

 "Yes", she insisted.

 "Well, here's my five dollars," I said, "Give me one."

 She took my money and my hand, led me over to a table where
 she invited me to sit and then sat down next to me, put her
 hand on my shoulder, allururingly leaned over close to me
 and in sexily whispered, "Once upon a time there was a really
 big red lobster ..."

Top
Subj:     Fries From Jack In The Box (S480d)
          From: Toilet Humored Cartoons on 3/30/06
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/bdqIJabjTJk

 (See 'David Letterman - Harrison Ford Tells A Joke' in Fuck)

 You can view this cute claymation type video by
 clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Foods You Can't Eat (S473b)
          From: gordonschuk on 2/3/2006

 Can't eat Beef, Mad cow....

 *
 *

 *
 *

Can't eat chicken... bird flu!*

 *
 *

 *
 *

 Can't eat eggs... Salmonella*

 *
 *

 *
 *

 Can't eat pork... fears that bird flu will infect piggies*

 *
 *

 *
 *

 Can't eat fish... heavy metals in the
    waters has poisoned their meat.*

 *
 *

 *
 *

 Can't eat fruits and veggies...
    insecticides and herbicides.*

 *
 *

 *
 *

 Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 M
 M
 M
 M
 M
 M
 M
 M
 M
 M
 M

 I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!!

 Remember...
 "STRESSED"
 spelled backwards is
 "DESSERTS"

Top
Subj:     Chicken At A Chinese Restraurant (S458, S625)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 11/4/2005 and 12/31/2008

 A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order
 the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served
 in a lidded cast iron pot.

 Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the
 pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little
 eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

 "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

 He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for
 it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes
 looking around before it slams down.

 Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what
 is happening, and demands an explanation.

 "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

 The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

 You're going to love this....................SCROLL DOWN
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"

Top
Subj:.....Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S662)
          By Bob Thaves on 9/18/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2009/09/18
.
...
.
.
Top
Subj:     Loving Mustard (S440)
          From: LabLaughs.com on 7/2/2005

 (This is a true story.  If you have children you will probably
  relate to this father.)

 As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham
 on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive,
 light brown, gourmet mustard.  The corners of my jaw aching in
 anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked
 it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my
 side.

 "Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my
 sandwich," she said.

 I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was
 reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of
 mustard on my fingers.

 I love mustard.

 I had no napkin.

 I licked it off.

 It was not mustard.

 No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only
 time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.

 With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoe-
 shine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

 Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife
 said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . .

 "Poupon."

Top
Subj:     100-Pound Woman Downs Eleven-Pound Burger
..........From: agrief on 1/19/2005 (S417)
.Source: (Removed from APNews.Excite.com)

 You can read and view this amazing story on my site
 by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     How To Fry Eggs (S403b)
          From: DafterLafter on 6/28/2004

 A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
 Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

 "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL!  Put in some more butter!  Oh
 my GOD!  You're cooking too many at once.  TOO MANY!  Turn
 them!  TURN THEM NOW!

 We need more butter.  Oh my GOD!  WHERE are we going to get
 MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!

 Careful...CAREFUL!  I said be CAREFUL!  You NEVER listen to
 me when you're cooking!  Never!  Turn them!  Hurry up!  Are
 you CRAZY?  Have you LOST your mind?

 Don't forget to salt them.  You know you always forget to
 salt them.  Use the salt.  USE THE SALT!  THE SALT!!!  THE
 SALT!!!"

 The wife stared at him.  "What in the world is wrong with
 you?  You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

 The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it
 feels like when I'm driving."

Top
Subj:     How To BBQ (S397b, S689b)
          From: Imogenelumen on 9/3/2004
      and From: darrellvip on 3/30/2010
Drawing from
HolyFaithEpiscopal.us

 Click 'HERE' to learn how to do a "Manly Barbecue."

Top
Subj:     Drunk Tells Woman She Is Single (S333, S586)
          From: woneye on 6/14/2003
      and From: LABLaughsAdult on 4/9/2008

 A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she
 selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of
 orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of
 coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon.  As she was unloading
 her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
 standing behind her watched as she placed the items in
 front of the cashier.

 He said, "You must be single."

 The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict's
 intuition, looked at her six items on the belt.  Seeing
 nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said,
 "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct.  But how
 on earth did you know that?"

 The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."

Top
Subj:     "Cat In The Kettle" By Aaron Wilburn
          From: rfslick on 10/16/2007 (S561c,d)
Photo from YouTube
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/RrI8V9ffMdg

 (See '"If My Nose Was Running Money" By Aaron Wilburn' in Music-Supp)

 This is a live performance of the "Chinese Food Song".
 You can see it by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Chinese Food Song (S531c,d)
          From: gordonschuk on 3/22/2007
 Source: (Removed from jflores.com)

 (Also see 'Cat In The Kettle' in this file above)

 You can view this short musical video by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Water Or Coke? (S316b, S530b)
          From: auntiegah on 2/18/2003
      and From: darrell94590 on 3/19/2007

 This is really an eye opener.... Water or Coke?  We all know
 that water is important but I've never seen it written down
 like this before.

 WATER

 1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
 2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak
    that it is often mistaken for hunger.
 3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism
    as much as 3%.
 4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for
    almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.
 5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
 6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water
    a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up
    to 80% of sufferers.
 7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term
    memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing
    on the computer screen or on a printed page.
 8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of
    colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast
    cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop
    bladder cancer.

 COKE

 1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries
    two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from
    the highway after a car accident.
 2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and
    it will be gone in two days.
 3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the
    toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour,
    then flush clean.  The citric acid in Coke removes
    stains from vitreous china.
 4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the
    bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum
    foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
 5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a
    can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the
    corrosion.
 6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in
    Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
 7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the
    baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake.
    Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the
    foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for
    a sumptuous brown gravy.
 8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into
    a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through
    a regular cycle.  The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease
    stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

 FOR YOUR INFO
 1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid.  Its pH
    is 2.8.  It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
    Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a
    major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
 2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial
    trucks must use the Hazardous material place cards
    reserved for Highly Corrosive materials.
 3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the
    engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

 Now the question is, would you like a glass of Water or Coke?

Top
Subj:     Ordering A Coke (S310b)
..........From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 1/8/2003

 I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke,
 please."

 Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work.  Waitresses
 now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke.  We
 have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb."

 Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I
 thought I'd make life easier.  So one day I simply asked
 the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "dark,
 carbonated beverage."

 The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked,
 "Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking
 device with that?"

Top
Subj:     What Food Is This? (S1001)
          From: Roger Ford on Facebook on 3/11/2016
.
...............
.
.......Check your answer and buy one on ebay for $62.05 at
.............http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/222014
.............396502?lpid=82&chn=ps&ul_noapp=true
.
.
Top
Subj:     Food And Heart Attacks (S301, S591b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 10/31/2002
      and From: tom on 5/13/2008

 The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart
 attacks than the British or Americans.

 The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart
 attacks than the British or Americans.

 The Japanese drink very little red wine  and suffer fewer
 heart attacks than the British or Americans.

 The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also
 suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

 The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages
 and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British
 or Americans.

 CONCLUSION:

 Eat and drink what you like.
 Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Top
Subj:     RIDDLE - What Food Is This#2?
          From: LABLaughs.com on 3/30/2003

 A time when they're green, a time when they're brown,
 But both of these times, cause me to frown.
 But just in between, for a very short while,
 They're perfect and yellow, and cause me to smile!
 What am I talking about here?

x
x
x
x
x
Scroll down for the answer
x
x
x
x
x
Here it comes
x
x
x
x
x

ANSWER

Bananas!

Top

Subj:     Ribs Cooking By The River (S947d)
          From: Charles Clausen on Facebook
 Source: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152794310164495
.
.......
.
.,.....Click 'HERE' to see this very creative barbaque.
.
.

Subj:     More Short Food Jokes

Top
Subj:     How To Peel Hard Boiled Eggs
          From: darrell94590 on 5/9/2007 (S538b,d)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/PN2gYHJNT3Y
 One of the Tricks from the new book, The 4-Hour Chef:
 How to Cook Like a Pro, Learn Anything, and Live the
 Good Life by Tim Ferriss.  Click 'HERE' to learn this
 trick.
 

Top
Subj:     Betty Botter's Bitter Butter (S405b)
..........From: DafterLafter on 10/23/2004
 Betty Botter had some butter,
 "But," she said, "this butter's bitter.
 If I bake this bitter butter,
 it would make my batter bitter.
 But a bit of better butter--
 that would make my batter better."

 So she bought a bit of butter,
 better than her bitter butter,
 and she baked it in her batter,
 and the batter was not bitter.
 So 'twas better Betty Botter
 bought a bit of better butter.
 

Top
Subj:     Airport Cookies - PPS (S535b in Plane-Supp)
          From: darrell94590 on 4/17/2007
 This cute joke is done in a Powerpoint Show.  You can
 view it clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Achieving Inner Peace (S295b)
          From: Cypriot on 9/27/2002
 Someone sent me an article that said the way to achieve inner
 peace is to finish things you've started.  It is definitely
 working for me.  I am now making a point of always finishing
 what I start, and I think I am well on my way toward finding
 inner peace.

 Because I care for you, I am passing this wisdom on to you.

 Here are the things that I have finished today:
   - two bags of potato chips,
   - a strawberry cheesecake,
   - a package of Oreo's,
   - a bottle of wine,
   - and a small box of chocolates.
 I think this really works because I feel better already!!!
 

Top
Subj:     Banana .... Not Just A Fruit (S532b, S796)
          From: gordonschuk on 3/26/2007
      and From: tom on 4/16/2012
 Banana picture from CES.NCSU.edu
 Source: (Removed from gurumaa.com)
 This is an amazing article about the benefits of eating
 bananas.  You can read it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Who Should Brew The Coffee? (S343b)
          From: DoctorDebt on 8/26/2003
 (Also see 'All Men Should Make Coffee For Their Women' in Food-Supp2)
 A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
 brew the coffee each morning.  The wife said, "You should do
 it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait
 as long to get our coffee."

 The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around
 here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I
 can just wait for my coffee."

 Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the
 Bible that the man should do the coffee."

 Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."

 So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and
 shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...
 "HEBREWS"
 

Top
Subj:     Interesting Drinking Cups (S528b)
         From: jokes on 3/1/2007
 You can view these two interesting drinking cups
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Viagra Soft Drink (S356b)
          From: woneye on 11/21/2003
 Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be
 available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi
 Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.
 It will now be possible for a man to literally pour
 himself a stiff one.  Obviously we can no longer call
 this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names
 of "cocktails," "highballs" and just a good old fashioned
 "stiff-drink."  Pepsi will market the new concoction by
 the name of: MOUNT ? DO
 

Top
Subj:    Lemon Breast Chicken - Great Recipe (S513c)
         From: darrell94590 on 11/21/2006
 I saw this recipe for a lemon breast chicken that looked
 really good. I thought I would share it with others.  To
 view it click 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef (S516b)
          From: edapsmas on 12/3/2006
 1 large Roast of beef

 1 small Roast of beef

 Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.

 When the little one burns, the big one is done.........:)
 

Top
Subj:     When Life Hands You Lemons (S501d)
          From: jbcary1 on 8/28/2006 (in Movies)
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/iEDCcC-b_DY
 You can see this juvenile type prank video clip by
 clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Indigestion (S496c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 7/26/2006
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 Cute animated GIF with a message for our generation.
 You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Potato Prostitutes (S461b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/22/2005
 Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One
 is a prostitute.  How can you tell which one is the
 prostitute?

 Hold on......

 You're gonna love it...

 It's the one with the little sticker that says...
 I - DA - HO
 

Top
Subj:     Fruit Carving (S448)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 8/26/2005
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cute fruit carving on my site
 by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Ice Cream Knock Knock Jokes
          From: LABLaughs.com on 5/18/2003
 Knock! Knock!
 Who's there?
 Ice cream!
 Ice cream who?
 Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!

 Knock! Knock!
 Who's there?
 Ice cream soda!
 Ice cream soda who?
 ICE CREAM SODA PEOPLE CAN HEAR ME...

 Knock Knock
 Who's there?
 Ice cream!
 Ice cream who?
 Ice cream of Jeannie!
 

Top
Subj:     Cooking Sign (S446b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 8/2/2005
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view the GIF signon my site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Pizza-Pedia (S390b)
          From: igiggle on 7/16/2004
 The world's first encyclopedia of pizza!
 (The site on geocities.com has been closed)
 

Top
Subj:     Chinese Watermelon Art (S442b-Chinese)
          From: darrell94590 on 7/10/2005
 In China they carve watermelons instead of pumpkins.
 NOTE:  There are 33 photos here.  Please give them
 time to load! This is incredible art !!!  To view
 click 'HERE'.
 

From: LABLaughs.com on 12/4/2002 (S305b)
 There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot
 appear to them except in the form of bread.
   -- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)


From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 12/19/2002 (S308b)
 Part of the secret of success in life is to eat
 what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
   -- Mark Twain

From: LABLaughsClean on 11/18/2004 (S409b - love)
 "Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite
 like unrequited love." Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000),
 Charlie Brown in "Peanuts"

From: dogbyte on 1/14/2003 (S311)
 "Keep Cool, but Don't Freeze"
    -- Hellman's Mayonnaise

From: KMACINTY on 1/17/2003 (S311)
 When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

 Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

From: FrankRoesch on 2/20/2003 (S316b)
 I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.  I get
 to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

From: LABLaughs.com on 6/8/2003 (S322)
 Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
 I can't even get into my own pants.

From: igiggle on 1/6/2004 (S363b)
 A teaspoon holds 120 drops of water.

From: Sonny at Bridge Club on 11/23/04 (S409b)
 Show me a man who hates cats,
 And I'll show you a man who can't cook.

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 7/13/2006 (S494b)
 "Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
 essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."
   -- Alex Levine

 Never eat more than you can lift.  -- Miss Piggy (in Quotes1)


From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 3/4/2007 (S528b)
 "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is
  tea, please bring me some coffee."  -- Abraham Lincoln
 

From: LABLaughsClean on 1/5/2005 (S414b)
 Q: What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
 A: Nacho Cheese.

 Q: What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
 A: Anyone Can Roast Beef.

                            \\\//
                           -(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
.
.............................From Smiley_Central.
.
.