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.
>>>
Subj:     Movies Supp
                (Includes 83 jokes and articles, 23 1028n,13,cf,wYT2a,12)
 

          Click "Here" for Movie_Etc-Supp2

Death Row Movie
from
Millanimations

>>>
Includes the following:  George Gobel On The Johnny Carson Show - Video (S629-Supp2)
.........................America's Got Talent - Video (S631b in Supp2)
.........................Pilobolus On Late Night With Conan O'Brien - Vid (S620-Sp2)
.........................Mary Poppins Stays At A Hotel (S136)
.........................Pilobolus at the 79th Oscars - Video (S620 in Supp2)
.........................SNL's Cork Soakers - Video (S510 in Supp2)
.........................A Stranger Moved In Our Home (S528b in Supp2)
.........................TV Tetris In Japan - Video (S546 - in Supp2)
.........................Robert DeNiro On Saturday Night Live - Video (S585 - Supp2)
.........................Meeting Paul Newman (S509b in Supp2)
.........................Tom Hanks Is James Bond, Spoof Trailer - Vid (S568b - Sup2)
.........................The Man Who Had No Face (S181 in Supp2)
.........................Famous Last Words From Movies (S625c in Supp2)
.........................Bailout Plan by Wanda Sykes on Jay Leno Show -Vid(S632-Sp2)
.........................Truths About Life I Learned
............................From Bad '80s Comedies(S208 in Supp2)
.........................Johnny Carson and Dom deLuise - Video (S627 in Supp2)
.........................Generic Disaster Movie Script (S79 in Supp2)
.........................
.........................Jimmy Fallon on America's Got Talent - Video (S967)
.........................The Best Of JayWalking (S652)
.........................WW II Movie Stars (S475)
.........................Celebrity Christmas Voices (S466b)
.........................Poem - Black and White TV (S340b)
.........................How To Write A Block-Buster Movie (S399b)
.........................Alternative "Lord of the Rings" (S274e)
.........................Chick Flicks - Cartoon (S416)
.........................Man Attends Mystery Play (S327)
.........................Hollywood Squares (S237)
.........................Playing Your Trumpet In A Movie (S272d, S701)
.........................Saving Private Ryan (S91)
.........................A Few Good Dentists (S302b)
.........................93-FM Mate Match Show (S476c)
.........................If Schwarzenegger Was Gov Of Calif. (S217)
.........................More Short Movie Jokes
..............................Ripley's Believe It Or Not! (S626b in Supp2)
..............................Solid Potato Salad - The Ross Sisters - Vid(S641b-Sp2)
..............................I Love Jesus, But I Drink A Little - Vid/Aud(S632-Sp2)
..............................When TV Was Cool (S627b in Supp2)
..............................Installing Your Digital TV Converter Box-Vid(S615-Sp2)
..............................Next Season On Dancing With The Stars!! (S613b - Sup2)
..............................Happy Days' Actors (S612 in Supp2)
..............................Welcome Back Kotter: Where Are They Now? (S600 - Sup2)
..............................We Wish You A Merry Christmas - Video (S569 in Supp2)
..............................Celebrity Wax Figures (S585 in Supp2)
..............................Casablanca In A PowerPoint (S585 in Supp2)
..............................Four Funny Commercials - Videos (S577b in Supp2)
..............................Lord Of The Rings Parody - Video (S567 in Supp2)
..............................Writers' Strike (S566c in Supp2)
..............................Contortionist - Video (S552b in Supp2)
..............................Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog, At Tonys -Vid(S552b-Sp2)
..............................Star Wars Premier In New York City - Video (S551-Supp2)
..............................Paul Potts Sings Opera - Video (S550 in Supp2)
..............................Four Jay Leno Interviews - Video (S549c in Supp2)
..............................On the Street Where You Live - Video (S548b in Supp2)
..............................The Past And Black and White TV (S547 in Supp2)
..............................South Park On Wheel Of Fortune - Video (S543c in Supp2)
..............................Audrey Hepburn's "Beauty Tips" (S535 in Supp2)
..............................Fred Astaire Tap Dancing - Video (S534 in Supp2)
..............................Defense Against The Dark Arts (S533 in Supp2)
..............................Movie Start, Then And Now - PPS (S531c in Supp2)
..............................Eddie Haskell, The Beaver, And Wally (S530c in Supp2)
..............................World's Most Dangerous Comedian - Video (S528 in Supp2)
..............................FCCFU - Video (S517b in Supp2)
..............................The Land of Sandra Dee - Poem (S509c in Supp2)
..............................Mae West Quotation (S494c in Supp2)
..............................A True Lone Ranger Story - Video (S546 in Supp2)
..............................
..............................Paris Hilton On SNL w/Jimmy Fallon - Video (S489c,S847)
..............................Our Gang Comedies (S488)
..............................McLain's Poetic Joke (S478b)
..............................Radio Prank Gone Wrong - Audio (S472b, S847)
..............................Harry Potter And The Crystal Ball (S470b)
..............................41 Childhood Pictures Of The Stars (S465)
..............................WatchFilms.com - Videos (S460b)
..............................James Arness in WWII (S460b)
..............................Reel Classics (S381)
..............................Finding Nemo Picture (S365b)
..............................Montana Survivor TV Series (S365b)
..............................Short Movie "Buggin You" (S302)

============================================================Top
Subj:     Jimmy Fallon on America's Got Talent (S967d)
          From: The Roosevelts on Facebook
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/embed/4rC9PaCuSgY
.
.......
.
.......Click 'HERE' to see Jimmy Fallon performed as a
.......guest star on America's Got Talent.  He recreated
.......his first act of 10 second impersonations.
.
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Top
Subj:     The Best Of JayWalking (S652dwmv)
          From: brucejohnsonbaugh on 7/8/2009
 Source: http://www.jokelibrary.net/xOtherAtoM/
.........g_to_m/movies_etc-supp-jaywalking.wmv

 As Jay Leno prepared to retire from the "Tonight Show",
 he made a tape called "The Best of Jaywalking".  Click
 'HERE' to see this really funny, WMV video.

Top
Subj:     WW II Movie Stars (S475)
          From: flovilla on 2/20/2006

 This web page tells what eighteen movie stars did during
 WW II.  To view it click 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Celebrity Christmas Voices (S466b)
          From: igiggle on 12/23/2005

 Match the celebrity voice to the show and character...

 Stars:
    1)  Drew Barrymore
    2)  Jimmy Durante
    3)  Boris Karloff
    4)  Joel Grey
    5)  Jim Backus

 Characters:
    I)   Joshua Trundle, a clock maker
    II)  The Grinch, a mean old hermit
    III) Ebenezer Scrooge, a mean old miser
    IV)  The Narrator with a big schnoz
    V)   Olive, a talking dog

 Shows:
    A)  How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
        A Christmas hater disguises himself as Santa Claus
        to stop the holiday from coming.
    B)  Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol
        On Christmas Eve, a nearsighted miser is visited by
        three spirits who teach him to change his ways.
    C)  Olive, the Other Reindeer
        A dog must outsmart an evil postman to reach the
        North Pole and replace an injured reindeer.
    D)  Frosty the Snowman
        After a magician's hat brings him to life, a snowman
        must travel north as rising temperatures threaten to
        melt him.
    E)  'Twas the Night Before Christmas
        A mouse family and a human family attempt to appease
        Santa Claus, who has been offended by a letter in the
        town's newspaper.
 
 

Top
Subj:     Poem - Black and White TV (S340b)
          From: Imogenelumen on 8/5/2003

 Subject: Black and White
 (Under age 40? You won't understand.)

 You could hardly see for all the snow,
 Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go.
 Pull a chair up to the TV set,
 "Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet."

 Dependin'g on the channel you tuned,
 You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June.
 It felt so good. It felt so right.
 Life looked better in black and white.

 I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys,
 Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys,
 Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train,
 Superman, Jimmy and Lois Lane.

 Father Knows Best, Patty Duke,
 Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too,
 Donna Reed on Thursday night! --
 Life looked better in black and white.

 I wanna go back to black and white.
 Everything always turned out right.
 Simple people, simple lives...
 Good guys always won the fights.

 Now nothing is the way it seems,
 In living color on the TV screen.
 Too many murders, too many fights,
 I wanna go back to black and white.

 In God they trusted, alone in bed, they slept,
 A promise made was a promise kept.
 They never cussed or broke their vows.
 They'd never make the network now.

 But if I could, I'd rather be
 In a TV town in '53.
 It felt so good. It felt so right.
 Life looked better in black and white.

 I'd trade all the channels on the satellite,
 If I could just turn back the clock tonight
 To when everybody knew wrong from right.
 Life was better in black and white!

Top
Subj:     How To Write A Block-Buster Movie (S399b)
          From: Gutterville.co.za on 9/8/04
 Source: (Removed from gutterville.co.za)
Picture from
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

 You can view this cute explanation by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Alternative "Lord of the Rings" (S274e)
          From: Cypriot on 4/19/2002

 One of the cult novels of the 1970s turned out to be "Lord
 of the Rings".  Written by one of the unlikeliest of best-
 selling authors, it affected a large number of people, not
 least of them being those people now in their teens saddled
 with names like Galadriel.

 How would this book have turned out had it been written by
 someone else?

 -----
 "Lord of the Rings", by Ian Fleming
 Aragorn placed his hand on the cool, ivory hilt of his
 6.38 Anduril sword, half-holding it in as casual manner
 as possible.  His eyes swept the room of the Prancing Pony,
 eyeing up the potential threats.  He took out his pipe,
 made from the warmed heartwood of a mature oak.  In the
 palm of his left hand, he unwrapped his leather tobacco
 pouch filled, as he preferred, with Gondorian Silk Cut.
 Aragorn preferred it to the harsher, stronger Numenorian
 blend ...

 -----
 "Lord of the Rings", by George Lucas
 "Did you ever wonder who your father was, Frodo?"
 "Uncle Bilbo was my father, Obi Gan Dalf."
 "Your Uncle is a fine man, but he is not your father.  Your
 father was a fine warrior and a great captain, strong in
 the Force.  He was called Sarumann the Wise, and he was a
 good friend."

 "Was? Is he dead?"

 "He is no more.  It is your destiny to avenge his death,
 young Baggins."

 -----
 "Lord of the Rings", by Meatloaf
 It was a hot summer's day in the Marsh of the Dead.  There
 was fog crawling over the swamp I could listen to the
 screams of the Dead Men Calling.  I could see their empty
 eyes and the candles blowing in the wind.  You were
 licking your finger with the Ring of Power and I was
 dying just to ask for a taste.  We were dancing together
 up on the Crack of Doom.  And no-ones gonna know what we've
 done.

 -----
 "Lord of the Rings", by Andrew Lloyd Weber
 Don't cry for me, Numenoria
 The truth is, you never sank down
 Beneath those wild waves
 Those deep sea wild waves
 You never left from
 This Middle Earth

 -----
 "Lord of the Rings", by Gene Roddenbury
 "The Halflings, cap'n, they will na take the strain"
 "Strider, we've got to get out of this snow.  Legolas, did
  you get a reading on that creature?"
 "Fascinating, Captain.  It appears to be an unknown
  creature that lurks in the pool waiting for passing
  strangers.  Ecologically implausible, captain."

 "Do you know what it is?"

 "I believe I said it was unknown, Dr Gimli. Logically, if
  I knew what it was, then it wouldn't be unknown."

 "Cap'n, we're in some sort of temporal warp, stretching
  and deforming the plot.  The snow should take place a
  day before our encounter with this beastie."

 "Captain, what are we going to do."

 "Boromir, put on that red armour."....

 -----
 "Lord of the Rings", by D H Lawrence
 Arwen Evenstar stitched, her hands moving over the soft
 silk of the flag.  Her hands moving, her mind roved, as
 free as she was herself trapped.  Aragorn was far, far
 away, but active. She thought of his maleness, and
 stitched faster.  Her hands brushed the silken flag, and
 she looked across the sward, eyes passing over the elven
 gamekeeper without seeing him, yet seeing everything ...

 -----
 "The Lord of the Rings", by Ernest Hemingway
 Frodo Baggins looked at the ring.  The ring was round.
 It was a good ring.  The hole at the heart of the ring
 was also round.  The hole was clean and pure.  The hole
 at the heart of the ring had an emptiness in it that made
 Frodo Baggins remember the big skies of the Shire when
 his father had taken him out and taught him to tear the
 heads off the small, furred things that walked there,
 even though he hated blood in those days and the stink
 of the blood was always part of the emptiness for him
 then and ever after.

 Frodo Baggins could put the ring on his finger now.  The
 stink of the blood and the hole and the emptiness could
 never leave him now.  Frodo Baggins looked at the ash-
 heap slopes of Mordor and remembered the Cuban orc who
 had kept the ash on his cigar all the way to the end.
 The orc just drew on the cigar and smoked the cigar
 calmly and kept the ash in a long gray finger, a hard
 finger, right to the moment that the Rangers beat hit
 to death with clubs.  He was mucho orco, the Cuban.

 Frodo Baggins looked at the ring and the hole and smelled
 the sulfur smell that came from the vent in the mountain.
 There were scorched black bushes round the vent.  The
 vent was like the cleft of the old whore at the Prancing
 Pony on the night that the Black Riders came.  Frodo
 Baggins reached in his pouch and took out the flask of
 good grappa there and filled his mouth and swallowed the
 grappa.  She was mucha puta, the old whore.

 Frodo Baggins could spit again so he spat hard, once.  He
 took the ring and threw it into the vent.

 The earth moved.

 -----
 "The Lord of the Rings", by Lewis Carroll
 Frodo peered at the wizard, who looked like nothing he'd
 ever seen before except in a nightmare after his elder
 sister's birthday party.

 "Come on", he said, "No time to lose, we've got to go
 and lose Bilbo's ring!"

 "Lose it?", said Frodo, "Why, I've only just found it."

 "Tut tut, no time to argue, we've got to go and lose it
 again."

 "But *can* we just lose something like that?" asked Frodo.
 "Without so much as a by-your-leave or how-de-do?" he
 added a little impertinently.

 "Of course we can" said the strange wizard, "Why, I've
 frequently lost as many as six things before breakfast,
 rings included.  I dare say you haven't had much practice
 at losing things.  We can do *much* better than that if we
 really try, you know," he said, blowing several smoky
 rings of various colours into the room.

 Frodo blinked, and wondered if his big sister had had
 *another* party the night before.

 -----
 "The Lord of the Rings", by A.A. Milne
 "What we're going to do," said Frodo, "is we're going to
 go on an expotition."

 "Ooh" said Pippin, "what will we discover?"

 "We're not going to *discover* anything, Pippin, we're
 going to *undiscover* uncle Bilbo's old ring."

 "CAN you undiscover things?" asked Sam. "Discovering
 doesn't seem to be a thing you can UN-, if you know
 what I mean."

 "Sam", said Frodo, sharpening his pencil, "You haven't
 any brain."

 Sam shuffled off trying to look like he hadn't said
 anything, and that it was one of Frodo's many friends
 and relations. Frodo continued, "Anything that can be
 discovered, can be *undiscovered*, it stands to reason."

 "My grandfather Brandybuck undiscovered his spectacles
 once," said Merry.

 "There you go then, that proves it then," said Frodo.
 "Of course, we shall have to beware of Trolls and Orcs
 and Things, that will try to stop us."

 "Ooh", said Pippin, shivering slightly, but only because
 it was cold, he told himself. "Do you mean they'll chase
 us with swords and Other Deadly Weapons?  Actually, I've
 just remembered something important I have to do, that
 can only be done on... what day is it tomorrow Merry?"

 "Pippin," said Frodo, sucking his new sharp pencil, "You
 haven't any pluck!"

 "It's hard to be brave," said Pippin looking crestfallen,
 "When you're a *very* small hobbit."

 -----
 (As if this weren't enough, you'll find more at
  http://www.flin.demon.co.uk/althist/auth.htm)

Top
Subj:     Chick Flicks - Cartoon (S416)
          By Wiley Miller on 7/07/2002
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2002/07/31
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Top
Subj:     Man Attends Mystery Play (S327)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 5/5/2003

 A mystery lover takes his place in a theater for opening
 night, but his seat is way far from the stage.

 The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a
 good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the
 opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow
 the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a
 mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me
 a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."

 The usher nods and says he will be back shortly.

 Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his
 co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer
 tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he
 finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches
 it up.

 Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he
 whispers, "Follow me."

 The usher leads the man down to the second row and proudly
 points out the empty seat in the middle.

 "Thanks so much," says the theatergoer. "This seat is
 perfect."

 He then hands the usher a quarter.

 The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and
 whispers, "The butler did it in the parlor with the
 candlestick."

Top
Subj:     Hollywood Squares (S237, S603)
          From: Cypriot on 8/3/2001
      and From: joych on 7/29/2008
Photo from Wat.Midco.net

 These jokes are extremely funny, but it's length requires
 me to make it a separate file.  Click 'HERE' to view it.

Top
Subj:     Playing Your Trumpet In A Movie (S272d, S701)
          From: dogbyte on 4/17/2002

 Jerry was hired to play his trumpet on the score of a
 movie, and he was excited.  He was especially thrilled
 because he got to take two long solos.  After the sessions,
 which went great, Jerry couldn't wait to see the finished
 product.  He asked the producer where and when he could
 catch the film.

 A little embarrassed, the producer explained that the
 music was for a porno flick that would be out in a month,
 and he told Jerry where he could go to see it.

 A month later, Jerry, with his collar up and wearing
 glasses, went to the theatre where the picture was
 playing.  He walked in and sat way in the back, next to
 an elderly couple who also seemed to be disguised
 and hiding.  The movie started, and it was the filthiest,
 most perverse porno flick ever...group sex, S?M, golden
 showers...and then, halfway through, a dog got in on the
 action.

 Before anyone could blink an eye, the dog has had sex
 with all the women, in every orifice; and most of the
 men.  Embarrassed, Jerry turned to the old couple and
 whispered, "I'm only here for the music."

 The woman turned to Jerry and whispered back, "That's
 okay, we're just here to see our dog."

Top
Subj:     Saving Private Ryan (S91) 
          From: RFSlick on 98-09-22

Click 'HERE' to read this article
about Steven Spielberg's classic
war movie with Tom Hanks, Matt Damon,
Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Barry
Pepper, and Adam Goldberg.

 Photo from VeteransBreakfastClub

Top
Subj:     A Few Good Dentists (S302b)
          From: Cypriot on 11/15/2002

 A scene from "A Few Good Dentists",
 starring Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson:

 Tom Cruise:     "Did you order the flossing?"

 Jack Nicholson: "You want answers?"

 Tom Cruise:    "I think I'm entitled."

 Jack Nicholson: "You want answers?!!"

 Tom Cruise:     "I want the tooth!"

 Jack Nicholson: "You can't handle the tooth!  Son, we live
    in a world that has oral diseases.  And those oral diseases
    have to be cured by men with sharp, painful instruments.
    Who's gonna do it? You?

    "I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly
    fathom.  You weep for Gleem and you curse the ADA.  You
    have that luxury.  You have the luxury of not knowing what
    I know: that Gleem's death, while tragic, probably saved
    teeth.  And my existence, while grotesque and incompre-
    hensible to you, saves teeth.  You don't want the tooth.
    Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at
    parties, you want me on that molar.  You need me on that
    molar!

    "We use words like regular checkups, plaque, tartar ...
    We use these words as the backbone to a life spent
    cleaning mouths.  You use 'em as a punchline.  I have
    neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to
    a man who rises and sleeps under the very blanket of the
    oral hygiene I provide, then questions the manner in which
    I provide it.  I'd prefer you just said thank you and went
    on your way.  Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a brush and
    scrub a tooth.  Either way, I don't give a damn what you
    think you're entitled to!"

 Tom Cruise:     "Did you order the flossing?"

 Jack Nicholson: "I did my job.  I'd do it again."

 Tom Cruise:      "Did you order the flossing?!!"

 Jack Nicholson: "You're damn right I did!"

Top
Subj:     93-FM Mate Match Show (S476c)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/22/2006

 Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and
 hearing this.  Many PEI folks DID hear this on the 93-FM
 morning show in Charlottetown, PEI.  The DJs play a game
 where they award winners great prizes.

 The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at
 work and ask if they are married or seriously involved
 with someone.  If the contestant answers "yes", he or she
 is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.

 The person is also asked to divulge the name of their
 partner (with phone number) for verification.  If their
 partner answers those same three questions correctly, they
 both win the prize.

 One particular game,however, several months ago made the
 Charlottetown City drop to its knees with laughter and is
 possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet.

 Anyway, here's how it all went down:

 DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on 93-FM. Have you ever heard
 of 'Mate Match'?"

 Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

 DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to
 the Gold Coast if you win.  What is your name?  First
 only please."

 Contestant: "Brian."

 DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

 Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

 DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name?
 First only please."

 Brian: "Sara."

 DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

 Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

 DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

 Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

 DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time
 you had sex?"

 Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

 DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

 Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

 DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

 Brian: "About 10 minutes."

 DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh?  No one would ever
 have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

 Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

 DJ: "Okay. Final question.  Where did you have sex at 8
 o'clock this morning?

 Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

 DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

 Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is
 staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

 DJ: "Uh huh..."

 Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower
 at the time."

 DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

 Brian: "On the kitchen table."

 DJ: "Not that great??  That is more adventure than
 the previous hundred times I've done it.

 Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work
 number and call her up. You listen to this."

 [ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ]

 DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?"

 (Touchtones.....ringing....)

 Clerk: "Kinkos."

 DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

 Clerk: "This is she."

 DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with 93-FM. We are live on the air
 right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple
 of hours now."

 Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

 DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us.  Brian
 knows not to  give any\answers away or you'll lose.  Sooo...
 do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"

 Sarah: "No."

 DJ: "Good!"

 Brian: (laughing)

 Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

 Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly,
 okay?  Be completely honest."

 DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure.  Now, I will ask you 3 questions,
 Sarah.  If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both
 of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.

 Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

 DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex?

 Sarah?" Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before
 Brian went to work."

 DJ: "What time?"

 Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
 

 DJ: "Very good.  Next question.  How long did it last?"

 Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

 DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough.  I am sure shes trying to
 protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah.
 You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast.
 Are you ready?"

 Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

 DJ: "Where did you have it?"

 Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!!  You didn't tell them
 that did you?"

 Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

 DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"

 Sarah: "Well..."

 DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

 Sarah: "Up the arse....."

 After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take
 a station break"

Top
Subj:     If Schwarzenegger Was Gov Of Calif. (S217)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com on 3/22/2001

 IF ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER WAS GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA...

 10. His promise to Californians: "The electricty will be
     baaaaaack!" -Daven Tink, Joke-of-the-Day

  9. He could wrestle Jesse Ventura -- winner gets the
     loser's state! -Russ Cornelius, Joke-of-the-Day

  8. Formal state dinners held at Planet Hollywood.
     -Scott Barden, Political Jokes

  7. Democratic celebrities would mysteriously start
     disappearing. -Margaret Kenny, Joke-of-the-Day

  6. There would be a new Survivor 3, based on "The
     Running Man." -Huracan, Sports Jokes

  5. He and George W. Bush could help each other get
     edjumacated in speaking English. -Razbrry, Political Jokes

  4. His office: Muscle Beach
     -Dale Montoure, Farm Jokes

  3. Ronald Reagan would be granted Total Recall.
     -Don Woolson, College Jokes

  2. Citizens would do hard time for flabby triceps.
     -Cindy Ruiz, Teen-Jokes

  1. He would have to give up his current job and start acting
     for a living! -Karen Doiron (Joke-of-the-Day)


Subj:     More Short Movie Jokes

Top
Subj:     Paris Hilton On SNL w/Jimmy Fallon (S489c, S847d)
          From: BossIsAway.com on 6/8/2006

 Source: https://screen.yahoo.com/paris-hilton-
.........double-entendres-000000396.html

 In this very funny Saturday Night Live skit, a very young
 Jimmy Fallon interviews Paris Hilton.  Click 'HERE', to
 see this very racy skit.
 

Top
Subj:     Our Gang Comedies (S488)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 5/25/2006
      and From: tom on 5/30/2008
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 What ever happened to the 29 child actors who were regulars
 (i.e., appeared in fifteen or more installments) of the 221
 Our Gang comedies (also known as The Little Rascals) produced
 between 1922 and 1944.  You can view their post-Rascals career
 and lives by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     McLain's Poetic Joke (S478b)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 3/10/2006
 Actress McLain lived in the west
 And had an ongoing request.
 When she made a joke,
 Her friends then all spoke
 And would say, Shirley you jest.
 

Top
Subj:     Radio Prank Gone Wrong (S472b, S847d)
          From: LABLaughs.com on 1/25/2006
Drawing from Ginny Prior Media Services
 Source: (Removed from starterupsteve.com)

 READ BEFORE YOU LISTEN, READ THIS.

 A young husband called up the DJ, asking him to play this
 prank on his wife for fun.  The couple had just bought a
 new house and had a new baby.  This is a recording of the
 radio DJ pretending to be the husband's boss, calling to
 apologize to the wife for firing the husband at this bad
 time. Be sure to pay special attention to the last line
 spoken by the wife.

 You can listen to this radio broadcast by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Harry Potter And The Crystal Ball (S470b)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/18/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view this cute picture click 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     41 Childhood Pictures Of The Stars (S465)
          From: auntiegah on 12/17/2005
 You can view these forty-one pictures of the stars when
 they were a lot younger by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     WatchFilms.com (S460b)
          From: igiggle on 11/18/2005
 Source: (Removed from watchfilms.com)
 Watch movies online.  The screen is only 2.5 in. by 3.75 in.,
 but the play is smooth using DSL.  All the movies are quite
 old, but I totally enjoyed the film 'New Adventures of Tarzan'.
 

Top
Subj:     James Arness in WWII (S460b)
          From: igiggle@ on 11/14/2005
 During World War II, before James Arness portrayed U.S.
 marshall Matt Dillon in Gunsmoke, he was the first
 American soldier to jump off his boat at the Anzio
 beachhead.  He was ordered to do so by his commanding
 officer because, standing at 6'8", Arness was the
 tallest man in his company, and the water's depth
 needed to be tested as a safety precaution.
 

Top
Subj:     Reel Classics (S381)
          From: igiggle on 5/17/2004
 A site dedicated to classic movies. This looks like fun.
 - http://www.reelclassics.com/
 

Top
Subj:     Finding Nemo Picture (S365b)
          From: pns on 1/2/2004
 To see the cute picture 'Finding Nemo' click 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Montana Survivor TV Series (S365b)
          From: Grampsboyd on 1/24/2004
 Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Montana is
 planning to do its own, entitled "Survivor, Montana Style."
 The contestants will start in Billings, travel to Laurel,
 Big Timber, Livingston, over to Bozeman, and then to Three
 Forks.  They will then proceed to Butte, Missoula, up to
 St.Ignatius and onto Kalispell.

 They will then go through Glacier, Havre, Malta, Glasgow
 and Scobey.  From there, they'll proceed to Sidney, Glendive,
 Miles City and finally back to Billings.

 Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a big bumper sticker
 that reads, "I'm gay, I'm a vegetarian, I voted for Al Gore,
 and I'm here to confiscate your guns!"

 The first one to make it back to Billings alive wins!"
 

Top
Subj:     Short Movie "Buggin You" (S302)
          From: BennoRo on 11/12/2002
 Source: (Removed from media.smilepop.com)
 Hi, Alan, maybe you'll like this short animated movie.  My
 wife sent me this link...  BE SURE YOUR SPEAKERS ARE ON!!

 Benno
 
 

From: KMACINTY on 1/17/2003 (S311)
 When the actress saw her first strands of gray
 hair she thought she'd dye.

From: joke-of-the-day.com on 1/12/2003 (S312b)
 Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.
   -- Elizabeth Taylor

From: igiggle on 2/15/2004 (S369b)
 Seven of the 50 most popular TV broadcasts ever were
 episodes of "The Beverly Hillbillies."

From: igiggle on 3/4/2004 (S372b)
 You burn 50% more calories watching TV
 than you do when you sleep.

From: DafterLafter on 8/23/2004 (S395b)
 Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
 the ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

From: Joke-of-the-Day-Mail.com on 5/6/2005 (S432b)
 My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth
 certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra
 fifty cents that the adults had to pay.
   -- KareemAbdul-Jabbar

From: LABLaughsClean on 6/3/2005 (S436b)
"Wal-mart...do they like make walls there?" --Paris Hilton

From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 2/13/2006 (S474b-quot-comed)
 "Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that,
  you've got it made."  -- George Burns

From: igiggle on 3/13/2006 (S377b)
 "Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you $50,000 for a kiss
  and 50 cents for your soul."  -- Marilyn Monroe

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