Subj:     Thanksgiving-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 24 jokes and articles, 11944n,15,cf,md4wT,12)

comes from
Includes the following:  A Snoopy Thanksgiving - Cartoon (S878)
.........................6 Thanksgiving Rules To Live By - Sam Sifton - Video (S825)
.........................Turkey Trivia Quiz (S620)
.........................Pregnant Turkey (S511b)
.........................Turkey Shoot - Game (S616c)
.........................A Thanksgiving Prayer (S514b)
.........................Sarah Palin Pardons A Turkey (S616)
.........................Sarah Palin Pardons A Turkey II (S617b)
.........................Thanksgiving Reflection (S460)
.........................Tips For Not Hosting Thanksgiving Dinner Next Year
.........................Short Thanksgiving Jokes
..............................Chicken Horror Movie (S775)
..............................Old Navy Presents The Gobble - Video (S723)
..............................U Can't Stuff This - Video (S773)
..............................On A Claire Day (S669b)
..............................The Argyle Sweater Cartoon (S824)
..............................Ann Telnaes Political Cartoon (S617b)
..............................Carlson Political Cartoon (S617b)
..............................Gratitude (S566b)
..............................Bacon Wrapped Turkey (S885)
..............................Thanksgiving Indiscretions (S460b)
..............................Donkey Vs Turkey (S615b)
..............................Turkey Slider (S460)
..............................A Very Touchy Thanksgiving - Cartoon (S878)

 Subj:     A Snoopy Thanksgiving (S878)
           Peanuts characters are © Charles M. Schulz
 Source: I-Love-Cartoons.us

Subj:     6 Thanksgiving Rules To Live By -
.............Sam Sifton on 11/22/12 (S825d)
          From: Mel's Video of the Day
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7o60c7IyRq8
 Source2: http://www.coolestone.com/media/4872/

 Former New York Times restaurant critic Sam Sifton shares
 his 6 fundamental rules for hosting a great Thanksgiving.
 Sifton is the author of 'Thanksgiving: How To Cook It Well.'
 Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to hear
 these six, totally common sense rules.

Subj:     Turkey Trivia Quiz (S620d)
          From: gattica30 on 11/23/2008
Photo from PageWorks
 Source: http://home.aristotle.net/Thanksgiving/trivia.asp

 This twenty question quiz will test how much you know about
 turkeys and Thanksgiving.  You can take it at the above
 source, or on my web site bt clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Pregnant Turkey (S511b)
          From: hellgunner50 on 11/5/2006

 Last year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house
 for the traditional feast.  Knowing how gullible my sister
 is, my mom decided to play a trick.  She told my sister that
 she needed something from the store.

 When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven,
 removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it
 into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.  She then placed
 the bird(s) back in the oven.

 When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out
 of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.  When her
 serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out
 the little bird.

 With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
 "Darci, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"

 At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to
 cry.  It took the family two hours to convince her that
 turkeys lay eggs!

 Yep..................SHE'S A BLONDE!

Subj:     Turkey Shoot - Game (S616c,d)
          From: tom and gattica30
          on 11/20/2008
 Source: http://www.southbank-design.co.uk/turkeyshoot/index.htm

 Decide how much you will drink before you go on a turkey shoot
 and then test your shooting skills.  You can play this cute
 game at the above source, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 The game plays best at the above source.

Subj:     A Thanksgiving Prayer (S514b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 11/23/2006

 I am thankful for the wife who says, "Hot dogs for supper!"
 Because she is home with me, not someone else.

 I am thankful for the husband who is on the sofa being a couch
 potato Because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

 I am thankful for the teenager who is complaining about
 doing dishes Because she is at home and not out on the streets.

 I am thankful for the taxes I pay
 Because it means I am employed.

 I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party
 Because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

 I am thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug
 Because it means I have enough to eat.

 I am thankful for my shadow that watches me work
 Because it means I am out in the sunshine.

 I am thankful for a lawn to mow, windows to clean
 and gutters to fix Because it means I have a home.

 I am thankful for the complaining I hear about the government
 Because it means we have freedom of speech.

 I am thankful for the parking spot I find at the far end of
 the parking lot Because it means I am able to walk and I have
 been blessed with transportation.

 I am thankful for my huge heating bill
 Because it means I am warm.

 I am thankful for the pile of laundry and ironing
 Because it means I have clothes to wear.

 I am thankful for weariness and aching muscles at the end
 of the day Because it means I have been able to work.

 I am thankful for the alarm that rings early in the
 morning hours Because it means I am alive.

Subj:     Sarah Palin Pardons A Turkey (S616d)
          From News.AOL.com on 11/21/2008
Photo from YouTube
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_ybEbrQeOA
 Source2: http://news.aol.com/political-machine/2008/11/21/sarah-palin-in-

 Sarah Palin, the former GOP VP candidate and current Alaska
 Governor, was part of perhaps the most surreal photo-op ever
 yesterday.  She was doing the standard "Pardon the Turkey"
 routine at Ed Gein's turkey farm in her home town.  After
 stepping outside, Sarah did an interview with the reporter.
 She was unconcerned about the background for the interview.

 Ed Gein's slightly less well-adjusted grand-nephew was
 slaughtering turkeys in the background, while mugging for
 the camera.  The whole thing goes on long enough, too, for
 the viewer to conjure unfortunate theories as to what goes
 on directly in front of the slaughterer.

 Source2 above is the full interview with gory spots grayed

 Source1 above, and my web site accessed by clicking 'HERE'
 is the unedited version of the video.  Unfortunately it has
 the song "Shake Your Booty" by K.C. and The Sunshine Band
 playing in the background.

Subj:     Sarah Palin Pardons A Turkey II (S617b)
          by Steve Sack
          From: Daryl Cagle's Prof. Cartoon Index
 Source: http://www.cagle.com/politicalcartoons/PCcartoons/sack.asp

 In last weeks S.M.L.#616 was the bizarre video about Sarah
 Pahlin pardoning a turkey for Thanksgiving.  Today, Steve
 Sack's political cartoon dealt with that video.  You can
 see it by clicking 'HERE'.

 The web page includes a second "Pardoning A Turkey" cartoon.

Subj:     Thanksgiving Reflection (S460)
          From: darrell94590 on 11/22/2005

 For most people, Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on what
 we've been given and savor the scents of crisp autumn days
 and pumpkin pie.

 For me, it's a little more complicated.

 One November afternoon when my daughter was in kindergarten,
 I picked her up after school. She bobbed out to the car and
 crawled into the back seat.

 "What did you do today?" I asked. She couldn't wait to tell

 "We learned that boys are different from girls," she chirped.

 Looking into the rearview mirror, I could just see the top
 of her head.

 "My teacher told us that boys have a thing the girls don't,"
 she added

 "Well, yes they do..." I said cautiously.

 I couldn't think of anything else to say, so we were quiet
 for a moment. Then she piped up again. "That's how girls
 know that boys are boys," she said. "They see that thing
 that hangs down and they know that he is a boy."

 I mentally calculated the distance home. Our five-minute
 commute already felt like an hour.

 "Did you know that when the boys see a girl they puff up?"
 My palms were beginning to sweat. "Um...well..."

 I was still searching for something new to say, to change
 the subject, when she asked, "Why do the girls like the
 boys to have those things?" Well I didn't know what to
 say. I mean, what woman hasn't asked herself that
 question at least once?

 "Oh, well...um..." I stammered.

 She didn't wait for my answer. She had her own. "It's
 cause it moves when they walk and then the girls see
 that and that's when they know they are boys and that's
 when they like them. Then the boy sees the girl and he
 puffs up, and then the girl knows he likes her, too.
 And then they get married. And then they get cooked."

 That last part confused me a bit, but on the whole I
 thought she had a pretty good grasp on things.

 As soon as we got home and I pulled into the garage,
 she hopped out of the car, fishing something out of
 her school bag.

 "I drew a picture," she said. "Do you want to see?"

 I wasn't sure I did, but I looked at it anyway. I had
 to sit down.

 There, all puffed up so to speak, looking mighty
 attractive for the ladies, was a crayon drawing of
 a great big Tom Turkey. His snood, the thing that
 hangs down over his beak, the thing that female
 turkeys find so irresistible, was magnificent. His
 tail feathers were standing tall and proud.

 She was a little offended that I laughed so hard at
 her drawing, and I laughed until I cried. But when
 I told her I loved it - and I did - she got over her

 That was the end of that, for her anyway. But I'm not
 so lucky.

 Every year I remember that conversation.

 And to be honest, I haven't looked at a turkey, or a
 man, the same way since.

Subj:     Tips For Not Hosting Thanksgiving Dinner Next Year
          By Dave Barry Published Nov. 15, 1998
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #272 on 98-11-20

 So this year, you agreed to host the big family Thanksgiving
 dinner. Congratulations! You moron!

 No, seriously, hosting Thanksgiving dinner does NOT have to
 be traumatic.  The key is planning. For example, every year
 my family spends Thanksgiving at the home of a friend named
 Arlene Reidy, who prepares dinner for a huge number of
 people.  I can't give an exact figure, because my eyeballs
 become fogged with gravy.  But I'm pretty sure that Arlene
 is feeding several branches of the armed forces.

 Arlene is not slapping just any old food on the table,
 either.  She's a gourmet cook who can make anything.  I
 bet she has a recipe for cold fusion. She serves moist,
 tender turkeys the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger,
 accompanied by a vast array of exotic hors d'oeuvres and
 350 kinds of sweet potatoes made from scratch.  I'm pretty
 sure Arlene threshes her own wheat.

 If you were to look into Arlene's dining room at the end of
 Thanksgiving dinner, it would at first appear to be empty.
 Then you'd hear groans and burps coming from under the table,
 and you'd realize that the guests, no longer able to cope
 with the food and gravity at the same time, were lying
 on the floor.  Every now and then you'd see a hand snake up
 over the edge of the table, grab a handful of stuffing,
 then dart back under the table again, after which you'd
 hear chewing, then swallowing, then the sound of digestive
 organs rupturing. Some guests have to be rushed by ambulance
 to the hospital, receiving pumpkin pie intravenously en route.

 The question is:  How is Arlene able to prepare such an
 amazing feast for so many people?  The answer is simple:
 I have no idea.  I'm always watching football when it happens.
 My point is that, if you want to provide your Thanksgiving
 guests with a delicious home-cooked meal, one approach would
 be to go to Arlene's house and steal some of her food when
 she's busy churning the butter.  She'd never notice. She has
 enough leftovers to make turkey sandwiches for everybody in

 If you prefer to do your own cooking this Thanksgiving, your
 first step is to calculate how much turkey you need.  Home
 economists tell us that the average 155-pound person consumes
 1.5 pounds of turkey,  If you're planning to have 14 relatives
 for dinner, you'd simply multiply 14 times 1.5 times 155,
 which means your turkey should weigh, let's see, carry the
 two ... 3,255 pounds.  If you can't find a turkey that size,
 you should call up selected relatives and explain to them,
 in a sensitive and diplomatic manner, that they can't come
 because they weigh too much.

 In selecting a turkey, remember that the fresher it is, the
 better it will taste.  That's why, if you go into the kitchen
 of top professional homemaker Martha Stewart on Thanksgiving
 morning, you'll find her whacking a live turkey with a hatchet.
 In fact, you'll find Martha doing this every morning.

 "It just relaxes me," she reports.

 Your other option is to get a frozen turkey at the super-
 market.  The Turkey Manufacturers Association recommends that,
 before you purchase a frozen bird, you check it for firmness
 by test-dropping it on the supermarket floor -- it should
 bounce three vertical inches per pound -- and then take
 a core sample of the breast by drilling into it with a 3/8-
 inch masonry bit until you strike the giblets.  If super-
 market employees attempt to question you, the Turkey
 Manufacturers Association recommends that you "gesture at
 them with the drill in a reassuring manner."

 When you get the turkey home, you should thaw it completely
 by letting it sit on a standard kitchen counter at room
 temperature for one half of the turkey's weight in hours,
 or roughly 19 weeks. "If you see spiders nesting in your
 turkey," states the Turkey Manufacturers Association, "you
 waited too long."

 Once the turkey is defrosted, you simply cook it in a
 standard household oven at 138.4 degrees centimeter for 27
 minutes per pound (29 minutes for married taxpayers filing
 jointly). Add four minutes for each 100 feet of your home's
 elevation above sea level, which you should determine using
 a standard household sextant.  Inspect the turkey regularly
 as it cooks; when you notice that the skin has started to
 blister, the time has come for you to give your guests the
 message they've been eagerly awaiting: "Run!" Because you
 left the plastic wrapper on the turkey, and it's about to
 explode, spewing out flaming salmonella units at the speed
 of sound.

 As you stand outside waiting for the fire trucks, you should
 take a moment to count your blessings.  The main one, of
 course, is that you will definitely NOT be asked to host the
 big family Thanksgiving dinner next year.  But it's also
 important to remember -- as our Pilgrim foreparents
 remembered on the very first Thanksgiving -- that two
 excellent names for rock bands would be "The Turkey Spiders"
 and "The Flaming Salmonella Units."

Subj:     Short Thanksgiving Jokes

Subj:     Chicken Horror Movie (S775)
          From: Margo Merritt on 11/23/2011
 Source: Facebook
Subj:     Old Navy Presents The Gobble (S723d)
          From: Tanna Hulse on Facebook
          on 11/26/2010
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV7zrxN2ehc
 Old Navy's "The Gobble" is a very cute Thanksgiving
 dance.  Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my
 copy to see the video

Subj:     U Can't Stuff This (S773d)
          From: Yuji & Linda Zoo World Promo/Gifts
          On Facebook on 11/23/2011
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlitbJKaYy0
 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my copy to see this
 Thanksgiving parody remake of MC hammer's "u can't touch this."

Subj:     On A Claire Day (S669b)
          By Carla Ventresca and Henry Beckett
          From: Creator.com on 11/25/2009
 Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
 Click 'HERE' to see this cute Thanksgiving comic strip.

Subj:     The Argyle Sweater Cartoon (S824)
          by Scott Hilburn
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/theargylesweater/2007/10/10
Subj:     Ann Telnaes Political Cartoon (S617b,d)
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 11/26/2008
Drawing from Ann Telnaes Cartoons
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions
 You can view this very cute animated cartoon at the
 above source, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Carlson Political Cartoon (S617b)
          By Stuart Carlson
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 11/26/2008
 Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/sc/
 Click 'HERE' to see this political cartoon about this year's
 Black Friday Sale.

Subj:     Gratitude (S566b)
          by Melody Beattie
          From: ginafm on 11/21/2007
 Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
 It turns what we have into enough, and more.
 It turns denial into acceptance,
 chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
 It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home,
 a stranger into a friend.
 Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
 and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Subj:     Bacon Wrapped Turkey (S885d)
          From: tom on 12/20/2013
 Source: TheDaileyMeal.com
Subj:     Thanksgiving Indiscretions (S460b)
         From: LABLaughsAdult
          on 11/23/2005
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A19980204
 You can view this tasteless cartoon at the source above, or
 on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Donkey Vs Turkey (S615b)
          From: tom on 10/22/2008
 Just think...if the Indians had given the Pilgrim Fathers
 a donkey instead of a turkey we would all be having a
 piece of ass for Thanksgiving!

Subj:     Turkey Slider (S460d)
          From: Thanksgiving Games
          on 11/24/2005
 Source: http://www.theholidayspot.com/thanksgiving/games/puzzleclick.htm
 I always loved these slider games as a kid.  I hope you like
 this one.  You can play it at the source above, or on my web
 site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     A Very Touchy Thanksgiving (S878)
          Drawn by Rick McKee on 11/28/2013
 Source: TheWeek.com
                           -(o o)-
.............................From Smiley_Central