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Subj:     Peanut Jokes
                 (Includes 5 jokes and articles, 09703n,0,cf,md4w,0)

Dancing Peanut from
Animation Factory

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Includes the following:  Tour Bus Driver And Peanuts (S412b, S622c)
.........................Preacher Eats Peanuts (S131A, S703)
.........................Guy Hears Voices In A Bar (S144, DU)
.........................Short Peanut Jokes

Also see MARRIAGE1    - 'Husban Gets Peanut In His Ear'
         RIDDLE file  - 'A What Am I Riddle #8'
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Subj:     Tour Bus Driver And Peanuts (S412b, S622c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 12/9/2004
          (Also see 'Preacher Eats Peanuts' below)

 A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a
 highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old
 lady.  She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he grate-
 fully munches up.

 After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again
 and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats
 this gesture about eight times.

 At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do
 not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that
 it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not
 able to  chew them.  "Why do you buy them then?" he asks
 puzzled.

 Whereupon the old lady answers, 'We just love the chocolate
 around them."

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Subj:     Preacher Eats Peanuts (S131A, S703)
          From: PGSP4LIFE
          (Also see 'Tour Bus Driver And Peanuts' above)

 The local Pastor was visiting the home of Sister Jones to
 comfort her after the recent loss of her husband. "Come in
 Pastor," said Sister Jones.  "Have a seat on the sofa."

 Sitting on the sofa, the Pastor eyed a dish of peanuts
 setting on the coffee table.  He took a few of the peanuts
 and began to eat them.  After ten minutes he noticed that
 he had eaten nearly all the peanuts.

 "Why Sister Jones," said the Pastor, "It appears that I have
 eaten almost all your peanuts."

 "That's okay Pastor," replied Sister Jones. "Now that I have
 lost all my teeth I only get to suck the chocolate off!"

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Subj:     Guy Hears Voices In A Bar (S144)
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-06-11
      and From: PGSP4LIFE on 11/02/1999

 A guy goes into a bar. He's sitting on the stool, enjoying
 his drink when he hears, "You look great!" He looks around
 - there's nobody near him.  He hears the voice again, "No
 really, you look terrific."

 The guy looks around again.  Nobody.  He hears, "Is that a
 new shirt or something?  Because you are absolutely glowing!"
 He then realizes that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts
 on the bar.

 "Hey," the guy calls to the bartender, "What's with the nuts?"

 "Oh," the bartender answers, "They're complimentary."

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Subj:     Short Peanut Jokes

From: Bobbyt's Place
 Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night...
 One was assaulted.  -- The Oregonian

From: humorlist-digest V2 #115 on 98-05-10
 Arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to roof
 of mouth.

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............................Three Stooges from Smiley_Central
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