1. You moved to a tent in Zucotti Park, because you always wanted
a nicer place to live.
2. You quit your "job" to attend the protests. But, your mother
continues your allowance, and now does the dishes herself.
3. You are confused, that you can't find the Wal-Mart,
on Wall Street.
4. You are enraged that the taxpayers had to bail out Wall Street,
even though you've never paid taxes, or know anyone who has.
5. You hate 'capitalism'. But, expect a 'capitalist' to provide
you a good paying job, with great benefits.
6. You think 'Socialism' has something to do with Facebook.
And, 'Capitalism' has to do with Washington, DC.
7. You demand a job, forgetting that you were fired for not
doing the one you had!
8. You despise the rich, even though they pay your share of taxes.
9. You're a little behind in your rent, because your drug dealer
insisted on cash.
10. You are very clear in your protest objectives: "Screw the USA"
"Save the ______ (Fill in the blanks: whales, spotted owls,
"Self-realization is the first step toward self-actualization"
"Down with ...uh... everything!"
11. You think 99 weeks of unemployment, is the least the government
should give you, for the 3 months you put in at McDonalds.
12. You drove a Toyota to the protest, you're plugged in to a Sony
Walkman, talk over a Samsung phone, and play a Yamaha keyboard
in a punk band. But, you are incensed over jobs, being out-
sourced to other countries.
13. You demand your rights. But, can't quite recall where they are
14. You believe you have a right to every penny earned. But, the
rich do not. And, you base your claim, on equality!
15. You believe a man is greedy if he worked his way up to CEO on
16-hour days, runs a company employing thousands, and made $10
million last year. But, is not greedy if he made $50 million
last year for making two motion pictures or shooting a ball
through a hoop.
16. You are convinced the "system" is holding you back from gaining
wealth, status, and position. Dropping out of high school,
dulling your mind with crack and MJ, a few arrests on your
record, and stealing from your employer had nothing to do with it.
17. You left behind trash, feces, urine-soaked sod, discarded
clothing and used condoms after your "Save the Environment"
18. You know you're not a 'Socialist', because you stick pretty
much to yourself at parties.
19. You want to improve the environment. And, you have the tattoos
and piercings to prove it.
20. You don't pay taxes. But, somehow that's more than your
21. You hate the rich. But hope, you win the lottery.
22. You haven't bathed in over a month. But, demand to be taken
23. From the looks of it, "greening" the environment, means starting
with your teeth.