Political Supp

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Subj: Political_Supp Jokes
(Includes 63 jokes and articles, 23684b,47)

..........Click "Here" for Political-Supp2
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Subj:     Sarah Palin Joke Video (S606)
          Played By actress Gina Gershon
          From: CKButch4Femme on 9/11/2008.

Source: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/61410aa4ff

You can view this cute, funny video at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     How To Catch Wild Pigs (S572)
          From: tom on 1/3/2008

THIS IS TRULY THOUGHT PROVOKING. TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT
AND SEND IT ON TO THOSE THAT YOU THINK ARE WORTH SENDING TO.

There was a chemistry professor in a large college that had
some exchange students in the class. One day while the
class was in the lab, the Prof noticed one young man, an
exchange student, who kept rubbing his back and stretching
as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter.

The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back.
He had been shot while fighting communists in his native
country who were trying to overthrow his country's
government and install a new communist regime. In the
midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked
a strange question.

He asked: "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch
line. The young man said that it was no joke.

"You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the
woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it
and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they
are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side
of the place where they are used to coming. When they get
used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you
put up another side of the fence. They get used to that
and start to eat again. You continue until you have all
four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.
The pigs, which are used to the free corn, start to come
through the gate to eat that free corn again. You then
slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly
the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around
and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon
they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to
it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for
themselves, so they accept their captivity."

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what
he sees happening in America. The government keeps pushing
us toward Communism/Socialism and keeps spreading the free
corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental
income, tax credit for unearned income, tax cuts, tax
exemptions, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments
not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc.
while we continually lose our freedoms, just a little at a
time.

One should always remember two truths:

1) There is no such thing as a free lunch

2) and you can never hire someone to provide a service
for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.

If you see that all of this wonderful government 'help' is
a problem confronting the future of democracy in America,
you might want to send this on to your friends.

If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life,
then you will probably delete this email. But God help you
when the gate slams shut!

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Subj:     The Bird Feeder (S537b)
          From: darrell94590 on 5/2/2007

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled
it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking
advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible
food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the
chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned
mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I
had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were
boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and
screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I
fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch
anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the
birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the
many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back
yard was like it used to be... quite, serene and no one
demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now lets see... our government gives out free food, subsidized
housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone
born here to be a automatic citizen. Then the illegals came
by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay
for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families:
you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room
doctor: you child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools
because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn
Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to
hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags
other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the
streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

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Subj:     The I Rack (S543)
          From: edapsmas on 6/5/2007

This 2,800 KB movie is both politically left wing and very
funny. You can view it on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     NBA OR NFL? (S531)
          From: hellgunner50 on 3/21/2007

36
Have been accused of spousal abuse

7
Have been arrested for fraud

19
Have been accused of writing bad checks

117
Have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2
businesses

3
Have done time for assault

71,
Repeat
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14
Have been arrested on drug-related charges

8
Have been arrested for shoplifting

21
Currently are defendants in lawsuits, and

84
Have been arrested for drunk driving in The last year

Can you guess which organization this is?
NBA or NFL?

Give
Up yet? . . . Scroll down,

Neither,
it's the 535 members of the United States Congress.

The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new
laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Some of this article is true and some is false. Snopes
verifed this at http://www.snopes.com/politics/crime/congress.asp

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Subj:     Terrorists Capture Four Politicians (S474c)
          From: DoctorDebt on 2/10/2006

A driver was stuck in traffic. Nothing was moving. Suddenly
a man knocks on the driver's window. The driver asks "what
happened?"The man replies, "Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary
Clilton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are
asking for $10 million ransom. Otherwise they are going to
douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going
from vehicle to vehicle taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving on average?"

The man replied, "About a gallon."

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Subj:     Mencken On The Presidency (S531)
          From: Anon Jr. on 3/26/2007
Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) once observed:
When a candidate for public office faces the
voters he does not face men of sense; he faces
a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark
is the fact that they are quite incapable of
Menken's photo from
Henry Louis Mencken Site
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weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most
elemental; men whose whole thinking is done in terms of
emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they
cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark
with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on the man who is,
intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre; the man who can
most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual
vacuum. The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men.
As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more
closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty
ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the
land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White
House will be adorned by a downright moron.
Baltimore Sun (July 26, 1920)

"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace
alarmed, and thus clamorous to be led to safety, by menacing
it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."
-- H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

Mencken also said, "The men the American people admire most
extravagantly are the greatest liars; the men they detest
most violently are those who try to tell them the truth."

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what
they want and deserve to get it good and hard.

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying
to improve it is largely a waste of time.

In the United States, doing good has come to be, like
patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something
to sell.

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Subj:     Other Henry Louis Mencken Quotes (S531)
         From: http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/H._L._Mencken

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is
that some admit it. I myself deny it.

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be
prepared to see them misunderstood.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his
hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the
unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth
when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is
still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

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Subj:     Short Political Jokes

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Subj:     State Of The Union Comic Strip (S613)
          by Carl Moore
          From: Creators.com on 10/4/2008

Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
You can read this conservative comic strip about Rush
Limbaugh and "being a liberal" by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Opus' Dream Candidate (S612c)
          By Berkeley Breathed
          on 10/1/2008

Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2007/07/08/opus/
Opus tells us about his dream candidate for next president.
You can view this wonderful comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Opus On Political Conventions (S604)
          By Berkeley Breathed on November 24, 2007
          From: WashingtonPost.com

Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/wpopu/
Opus comic strip discusses his hatred of political conventions.
You can view this wonderful comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     State Of The Union Comic Strip III (S604b)
          By Carl Moore
          From: Creators.com on 7/8/2008

Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
This political comic strip compares Obama and McCain
to the hare and the tortoise. You can view it on my
web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Opus On His Midlife Crisis (S604b)
          By Berkeley Breathed on November 18, 2007
          From: Salon,com on 8/2/2008

Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2007/11/18/opus/
Opus comic strip deals with the sneaky, seductive mental
quicksand of midlife! You can view this wonderful comic
strip on my site by clicking 'HERE'.

You can view other great Opus Comic Strips by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: Opus Discusses Elections (S603b)
By Berkeley Breathed on January 13, 2007
Source: http://www.salon.com/comics/opus/2008/01/13/opus/

Opus comic strip discusses election intolerance. You
can view this wonderful comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.

You can view other great Opus Comic Strips by
clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     State Of The Union Comic Strip II (S602)
          by Carl Moore
          From: Creators.com on 7/25/2008

Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
This political cartoon is quite funny. You can
view it on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: JibJab - Election 2008 (S601)
From: CKButch4Femme on 7/17/2008
Picture from JibJab

Source: http://sendables.jibjab.com/
In JibJab's video for election 2008, they poke fun at both
candidates. You can enjoy it at the above source, or on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: JibJab - The Empire Strikes Barack
From: JibJab.com on 7/17/2008 (S601)
Source: http://www.jibjab.com/view/239949

This humorous movie about the Clinton-Obama primaries
is worth seeing. You can view it at the above source,
or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     State Of The Union Comic Strip (S599b)
         By Carl Moore
          From: Creators.com on 7/8/2008

Source: http://www.creators.com/today-comics.html
This anti-Obama comic strip is funny. You can view it on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: Caroline Kennedy's New Profile: Politics
By Kathy Kiely,USA Today (S597)
Chip Somodevilla, Getti Images...

WASHINGTON - (June 26) - With Barack Obama's bid for the
White House, the torch has been passed to a new generation
in more ways than one: For the first time, the best-known
Kennedy on the presidential campaign trail is named Caroline.

You can read this article with pictures by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: Our 3 Major Presidential Candidates: (S597)
From: jbcary1 on 6/25/2008
Hillary: A lawyer who is married to a lawyer.

Obama: Another lawyer who is also married to a lawyer.

McCain: A war hero who is married to a busty blonde who
owns a beer distributorship.

I mean ... Damn, is this a hard decision?????

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Subj: John McCain's Sons (S595c)
From: lauracollins07 on 6/15/2008
Photo from PresidentPolls2008.com...

Source: http://www.snopes.com/politics/mccain/mccainsons.asp
You can read this gread article about John McCains three
sons at the above source, or on my site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: Red State Update (S593)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/1/2008
Photo from RedStateUpdate.com...

Source: http://www.sitemason.com/newspub/fQKJvW?id=56117
Jackie and Dunlap have some advice for the Democrats.
You can view this very funny red state update at the
source above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Hillary And Barack Are Friends (S584)
          From: rfslick
          on 4/1/2008

This cute, dirty picture of Hillary and Barack is funny.
Click 'HERE' to view it on my site.

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Subj: The New Bush Coins (S583b in Bank-Supp)
From: rfslick on 3/26/2008
Source: http://blip.tv/file/520347?ref=patrick.net

Now that President Bush has declared martial law, it will
be illegal to own precious metals after the first of the
year. Here's a sneak peek at the new money from BlimpTV.net
You can view brilliant, funny, and chilling movie at the
above source, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: New Perfume (S583)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/25/2008
Photo from YouTube

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yRJiP4f_EU
This YouTube movie is very funny. You can view it at
the source above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj: Democratic Dilemma (S582b)
From: tom on 3/11/2008
The Democratic Party has a crisis of monumental
proportions; They don't know whether to vote for
the "Nut" with two Boobs or the "Boob" with two Nuts.

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Subj:     Jack Nicholson Endorses Hillary
          From: YouTube
          on 3/1/2008 (S578b)

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mOa3sXjqE4
Action Jack Nicholson and his many movie personas endorse
Hillary Clinton in this cute video. Click on the source,
or click 'HERE' to view the movie on my web site.

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Subj: Yes We Can (S579)
By Will I Am of the Black-Eyed Peas on 2/23/2008
Picture from Mahalo.com

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY
"Yes We Can" is a music video by Will.i.am of Black Eyed
Peas incorporating a speech in New Hampshire by presidential
candidate Barack Obama. It features a host of celebrity
cameos, including Scarlett Johansson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar,
Nick Cannon and Herbie Hancock. Click on the source above,
or 'HERE' to see it on my web site.

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Subj:     No You Can't (S579)
          By Billionairs For Bush
          on 2/23/2008

Source: http://www.nerve.com/CS/blogs/scanner
........./archive/tags/yes+we+can/default.aspx
In response to the now-famous "Yes We Can" Barack Obama
video, the people formerly known as the Billionaires for
Bush have released "No You Can't." We bet you didn't
know that our senior national political correspondent
Brian Fairbanks was a Billionaire for Bush. And he's
too shy to tell you that he was a co-creator of this video.
Click on the source above, or 'HERE' to see it on my site.

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Subj:     “Yes We Can” - John McCain Vers. (S579)
          by bhoughton
          on February 11th, 2008

Source: http://www.ourdigitalmusic.com/yes-we-can-music-video-john-mccain-version/
If you’ve seen the Wil.i.am music video for Barak Obamha’s
“Yes We Can” speech, check out this spoof with Republican
front runner John McCain taking the lead. Click on the
source above, or 'HERE' to see it on my site.

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Subj:     Hillary And The Texas Primary (S578)
          From: Darly Cagle's Cartoonists Index
          on 2/22/2008

Source http://www.cagle.com/news/TexasPrimary/main.asp
You can view this cute, political cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Primaries (S578c)
          From: WashingtonPost.com
          on 2/19/2008

Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/artsandliving/comics/
Clicking 'HERE' to learn Frank and Ernest's opinion on primaries
and caucuses.

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Subj:     Hillary's Dream (S576b)
          From: tom
          on 2/11/2008

Humorous pictures and cartoons are two of the few things
I like about an election year. This picture is funny.
Click 'HERE' to view it.

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Subj: QUIZ: Test Your Candidate IQ (S575)
From: AOL News on 2/5/2007
Drawing from AOL News

Source: http://news.aol.com/elections/story/_a
........./super-tuesday-results-rolling-in/20080203121009990001
Test your knowledge of the candidates by taking the twelve
question, multiple choice test. If you get above a seven,
you know them better than me. Click 'Here' to start.

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Subj: Doonesbury On Barack Obama (S578c)
From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/4/2008
Small drawing from WashingtonPost...

Source: http://wpcomics.washingtonpost.com/client/wpc/db/
You can read the Doonesbury's comic strip on Barack Obama
by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     The Hill-Billy Candidate (S578c)
          From: gordonschuk
          on 1/27/2008

Click 'HERE' to view the Hill-Billy candidate.

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Subj:     Chelsea Meets A Soldier (S577b)
          From: AFine963
          on 1/29/2008

Chelsea Clinton recently discussed current events with
a U.S. soldier. Click 'HERE' to read about their meeting.

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Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Campaigning (S577)
          From: WashingtonPost.com
          on 1/29/2008

Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
........./affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost?comic=franknernest
You can view this cute political cartoon on my web site
by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Cute, Dirty, Campaign Button (S577c)
          From: darrellvip
          on 1/28/2008

You can view this 2008 campaign button on my web site
by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Comic Of Republican Presidential Candidates (S573b)
          From: danschu
          on 1/26/2008

One of the few pleasures I get in a campaign year was stated
by Roger Ailes, "A presidential campaign is about cartoons".
Click 'HERE' to view this campaign cartoon.

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Subj: Select A Candidate Quiz (S573c)
From: CKButch4Femme on 1/22/2008
Source: http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460

You answer the 14 questions in this quiz and find out which
candidates are most aligned with your views and opinions.
Click on the source above to take the quiz.

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Subj:     The Candidates (S573)
          From: People Magazine
          January Issue page 72

Click 'HERE' to learn what the candidates won't leave home
without.

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Subj:     Obama Political Cartoon (S575b)
          From: tom
          on 1/19/2008

You can view this cute political cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     The New Kellogg's Box (S572b)
          From: tom
          on 1/5/2008

I believe this new Kellogg's box would be a hit
with the older eaters. Click 'HERE' to see it.

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Subj:     Obama-Chaney Cartoon (S572c)
          From: Mike Thompson, Detroit Free Press
          for 10/19/2007

Source: http://www.cagle.com/politicalcartoons
........./pccartoons/archives/thompson.asp?Action=GetImage
This political cartoon about Barack Obama and Dick Cheney
being cousins is very cute. Click 'HERE' to view.

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Subj:     Fairy Tales (S559)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 10/6/2007

Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19930620
You can view this very cute drawing at the source above,
or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     The Plan (S559b)
          From: jbcary1 on 10/4/2007
A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men,
    marry men.
B. Allow those women who want to marry women,
    marry women.
C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies,
    abort their babies.
D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats ! !
E. God ! I love it when a plan comes together...

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Subj:     Spot The Imposter (S540b)
          From: AFine963
          on 5/15/2007

Four of these five people are Republicans, the other is a
Democrat. Click 'HERE' to test your observational skills.

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Subj: Political Correctness (S531c)
From: jbcary1 on 3/20/2007
The following is the winning entry from an annual contest
calling for the most appropriate definition of a
contemporary term.

This year's term: Political Correctness.

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible
to pick up a turd by the clean end."

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Subj:     Bob Hope's One-Liner (S526c)
          From: jbcary1
          on 2/10/2007

This is one of many very funny one-liner jokes by the witty
comedian, Bob Hope. You can see this 1,100 KB movie on my
web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Never Give Up (S516b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com
          on 12/4/2006

This calendar of events in President Lincoln's life is the
very epitome of the phrase "Never give up". You can view
this web page on my site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Maxine On Elections (S515c)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 11/28/2006

Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19920120
You can view this cute political cartoon at the source above,
or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:    Four Presidents Visit Oz (S492)
         From: darrell94590
         on 6/30/2006

(Also see 'Four Presidents Visit Oz' in Polit-Clinton-Scdl1)

You can read this cute story on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Portrait Of John Ashcroft (S480c)
          From: julie
          on 4/6/2006

Source: http://hublog.hubmed.org/archives/000778.html
This portrait of John Ashcroft is a photo mosaic made entirely
of porn pictures. You can view it at the source above, or on
my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

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Subj:     Ronald Reagan's One-Liners (S478b)
          From: darrell94590
          on 3/20/2006

To view this set of Regan one-liners click 'HERE'.

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Subj: Hunt With Dick Cheney Sign (S474)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/21/2006
Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A19981029

From: LABLaughsClean on 10/17/2006 (S509b in Latin)
"The best political community is formed by citizens of the
middle class." -- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC), Politics

From: Anon. Junior on 10/7/2006 (S506b)
Democrats like bookmarks while
Republicans like to bend over the pages.

From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 2/2/2007 (S525b)
"Sen. Joe Biden, on the day of announcing his candidacy
for president of the United States, called Barack Obama
the first mainstream African-American who is articulate,
bright, and . . . clean. I think we’ve seen the shortest
presidential campaign in history." -- Jay Leno

From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 3/12/2007 (S530b)
"My definition of a free society is a society where it
is safe to be unpopular." -- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

From: LABLaughsClean on 6/15/2008 (S596b)
"Fear is the opportunity for courage, not proof of
cowardice." -- John McCain

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Smiley yells from
darrellvip on 10/13/2007

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