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Subj:     Tattoo Jokes
                 (Includes 26 jokes and articles, 182022,18,cif,wXT3a4,9)

Tattoos from
Animation Factory
>>>
Includes the following:  Bruce Lee Arm Tattoo - Photos (S908)
.........................Man Sells Facial Tattoo Ads Space - Web Site (S845)
.........................Seashell Tattoo - Photo (S619c, S789)
.........................Holidays Tattooed On Thighs (S116, S572c)
.........................3D Tattoo Of A Butterfly - Photo (S958)
.........................Tattoos Of Love - Interactive Video (S580b)
.........................Returning From Canada w/Tattoos (S329b, DU)
.........................Bosses Order Workers to Hide Tattoos - Article/Photos (S616c)
.........................Man Tattoos Dick (S65, DU)
.........................SNL - Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover - Video (S588b,d)
.........................The Perfect Tattoo (S161, DU)
.........................Tattooing Names - Cartoon (S405)
.........................Basketball Player With Tattoos (S310b, S656b)
.........................Mother Goose And Grimm - Comic Strip (S1001)
.........................Tattooed Dick II (S179, S572)
.........................A Heart? An Eagle? A Mermaid? (S1022)
.........................Short Tattoo Jokes
..............................Unique Tattoo - Photo (S537c)
..............................Don't Want To Hear At Tatoo Parlor (S289b)
..............................Tattooed Grandma - Photos (S482c)
..............................Tatoo of the Year - Photo (S473b)
..............................Penis Tattooed For Profit (S288b)
..............................Tattoo Anniversary Present - Sunday Comics (S446)
..............................Two Faces Man - Photo(S438b)
..............................Tattoos In Bars - Cartoon (S435)
..............................Bizarro Cartoon On Tattoos (S382)
..............................Winner Of The Funniest Tattoo - Nude Photo (S696)

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Subj:     Bruce Lee Arm Tattoo (S908d)
          From: Sam Perkins on Facebook
 Source: (Removed from angryasianman.com)
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 Click 'HERE' to see an enlargement of this 'fist of fury' and
 a similar one done with Popeye.

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Subj:     Man Sells Facial Tattoo Ads Space (S845)
          From: Bonehead Of The Day Award on 3/24/2013
Photo from BarStoolSports...
 Source: (Removed from BarStoolSports.com)

 Huff Po - A man in Anchorage, Alaska, who tried to raise
 money by selling more than 20 facial tattoo ads, is now
 hoping to raise money to get them removed.   To do this,
 Billy Gibby - aka "Hostgator Dotcom" and "Billy The Human
 Billboard" - is going back to the inkwell and is selling
 branded advertising on other parts of his body.  "I'm
 trying to get rid of the ones on my face," he told The
 Huffington Post. "I regret them because I only did them
 because of my mental illness."

 Gibby, 32, started getting branded tattoos in 2007.  At
 first, he sold them for $300 to $1000, before his price 
 slipped to $75, according to the Anchorage Press.  His
 tattoos include a full back tattoo ad f/GoldenPalace.com
 and 24 facial tattoos representing various companies,
 including porn websites.  In his effort to raise money
 to feed his five kids, Gibby even changed his official
 name to Hostgator Dotcom in 2009.

 Click on the source to see two large, facial photos.

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Subj:     Seashell Tattoo (S619c, S789)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/11/2008
      and From: darrelldre on 2/23/2012
 Source: (Removed from pelicanparts.com)

 A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell
 on her inner thigh.  Her friends ask her why she would get
 such a tattoo and in that location.
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She responds 'It's really cool.  If you put your
ear up against it, you can smell the ocean.'

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Subj:     Holidays Tattooed On Thighs (S116, S572c)
          From: FrankRoesc on 4/16/99

 A Woman goes into a tattoo parlour and tells the tattoo
 artist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her right
 thigh right up just below her bikini line.  She also wants
 him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.  So the
 guy does it and it comes out looking real good.  The woman
 then instructs him to put a Santa Claus with "Merry Christmas"
 up on her left thigh. So the guy does it and it comes out
 looking good too.

 As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist
 says "if you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me
 put such unusal tattoos on your thighs?"

 She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all
 the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanks-
 giving and Christmas."

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Subj:     3D Tattoo Of A Butterfly (S958)
          From: Cathy Lavezzo-Freitas on Facebook
 Source: (Removed from tattoo-kid.com)
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Subj:     Tattoos Of Love (S580b,d)
          From: gattica30 on 2/28/2008
Drawing from BarDaBoa.com.br...
 Source: (Removed from tatuagemdaboa.com.br/)

 Click 'HERE' for the my copy.  Then do the following:
 1. Wait till the girl is uploaded, can take awhile.
 2. Type your name on the first line. (Seu Nome:)
 3. Type your surname on the second line. (Nome Do Amigo Zoado:)
 You don't need to type your e-mail address.
 4. Press on VISUALIZAR.
 This is real cool.

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Subj:     Returning From Canada w/Tattoos (S329b, DU)
          From: RFSlick on 5/15/2003

 A guy was traveling through Canada on vacation when, low
 and behold, he lost his wallet and all identification.
 Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his way home
 but is stopped by an Immigration Agent at the border.

 "May I see your identification, please?" asks the agent.
 "I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replies the guy.
 "Sure, buddy, I hear that every day.  No ID, no crossing
 the border," says the agent.

 "But I can prove that I'm an American!" he  exclaims. "I
 have a picture of Bill Clinton tattooed on one butt cheek
 and a picture of George Bush on the other."  "This I gotta
 see," replies the agent.

 With that, Joe drops his pants and bends over in front of
 the agent.  "By golly, you're right!" exclaims the agent.
 "Go on home to California."  "Thanks!" he says. "But how
 did you know I was from California?

 The agent replies, "I recognized the picture of Your Governor
 Gray Davis in the middle."

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Subj:     Bosses Order Workers to Hide Tattoos (S616c)
          From: USA Today and News.AOL.com on 10/31/2008
 Source: (Removed from news.aol.com)

 Cities and school districts across the country are forcing
 their employees to cover up tattoos if they want to keep
 their jobs.  The edicts have been issued to maintain a good
 image, say the communities, and they have been applied to
 teachers, janitors, firefighters and others.
 
 "We didn't want to offend some people in
 the community," says Capt. Armando Hogan,
 spokesman for the Los Angeles City Fire
 Department, where employees were ordered
 last spring to cover all tattoos while on
 duty. "I have been on drills and on scene
 where someone has said, 'I wouldn't want
 that person working on me,' and we've had
 to educate the individual who made the
 comment."

 Among the cities:

Bountiful, Utah, decided in August that new employees
   must not show any tattoos.
The Pasco County School Board in Florida has ordered
   employees to hide "offensive" tattoos.
In Missouri, the Joplin School Board will vote on a
   no-visible-tattoo policy this year.
 The orders to cover up have been growing as tattoos become
 more popular, especially tattoos on the face, neck, hands
 and fingers. Some workers feel the policy is unfair.

 "We don't allow discrimination based on skin color, yet
 we came up with a policy that discriminated against people
 with color on their skin," says Steve Tufts, president of
 the United Firefighters of Los Angeles City.

 Joplin Schools Superintendent C.J. Huff says students are
 getting teaching degrees, getting tattoos, and then applying
 for jobs.  "We're saying before you get a tattoo, you have
 to think about how big it is and where it's located before
 you think about getting a job in our school district," he
 says.
 
The rule in Bountiful was passed after
applicants with hard-to-conceal tattoos
showed up for interviews for jobs in the
police, streets and sanitation departments.
City Manager Tom Hardy says city leaders
had to decide: "Either we're going to do
nothing about it, or we're going to do
something about it."

Photo from CalGarySun.com

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 In each community, officials cite the exploding popularity
 of tattoos.  Bob Baxter, editor in chief of Skin ? Ink
 magazine, agrees with the restrictive policies.  Baxter
 says neck and face tattoos used to appear only on heavily
 tattooed people who ran out of space.  "What's happening
 (now) is that a lot of young people figure that the best
 way to show that 'I'm in the tattoo community' is to get
 tattoos in very conspicuous places," Baxter says. "I don't
 think it's a good idea. It's hard to get work."

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Subj:     Man Tattoos Dick (S65, DU)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #242 on 98-04-28

 A man went into a tattoo parlor and asked the owner if he
 would tattoo the words "yes" and "no" on his penis.  The
 owner agreed and the tattooing was underway.  When the job
 was complete, the man thought his new tattoo looked great
 and he paid for the service.

 That night when the man went home he approached his wife
 in their bedroom.  He stripped off his pants, then his
 boxer shorts, and there was his aroused organ displaying
 his new tattoo.

 He asked his wife, "Well Honey, what do you think of my
 new tattoo?"

 She said...
 "You tell me how to cook...",
 "You tell me how to clean the house...",
 "You tell me how to do the laundry..."
 "And now you are going to put words in my mouth."

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Subj:     SNL presents - Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover (S588b,d)
          From: tom on 4/21/2008
 Source: https://vimeo.com/69310297
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.......On April 16,2005 Saturday Night Live's skit 
.......Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover ran
.......featuring Amy Poehler..Click 'HERE' to view it.
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Subj:     The Perfect Tattoo (S161, S492b, DU)
          From: icohen on 12/17/1999
      and From: darrell94590 on 6/27/2006

 A guy goes to the tattoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist
 $1,000 to put a $100 bill on his Willie.  The artist agrees,
 but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this.

 The man replies, " I have my reasons which I would rather not
 tell right now".

 So, the artist goes ahead and does the job.  But, all the while
 he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill
 on his penis.  So, he tells the man that he really needs to know
 the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would
 have paid for the tattoo if he would just tell the reason for
 putting a $100 bill on his Willie.

 So, the man consents and offers these three reasons:
     "First, I like to play with my money.
     Second, I like to watch my money grow.
     Three, I like how money feels in my hand;
     And fourth, and most importantly, the next time my
        wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it."

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Subj:     Tattooing Names (S405)
          From: DafterLafter on 10/20/2004
 Source: (Removed from ezines4all.com)
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Subj:     Basketball Player With Tattoos (S310b, S656b)
          From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
      and From: LABLaughs.com on 1/7/2003

 A woman is picked up by a basketball player in a bar.  They
 like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room.
 He removes his shirt and she sees that on his arm is a tatto
 which read "Reebok."  She thinks that's a bit odd and asks
 him about it.

 He says "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the
 tattoo and Reebok pays me for the advertisement."

 A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattoed
 on his leg.  He gives the same explanation for the unusual
 tattoo.

 Finally, the underwear comes off and she see the word "Aids"
 tattooed on his penis.  She jumps back with shock.  "I'm not
 going to do it with a guy who has Aids!"

 He says "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say
 "Adidas."

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Subj:     Mother Goose And Grimm (S1001)
          By Mike Peters on 3/14/2016
 Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php
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Subj:     Tattooed Dick II (S179, S572)
          From: Bawdy.Net Collage #3
      and From: thebartend on 7/6/00

 A friend of a friend was dating a woman named Wendy.  Wendy
 insisted that he have her name tattooed on his penis.  Obviously,
 this tattooing had to be done in an advanced state of arousal
 - once this arousal faded, the tattoo simply read "Wy".  Of
 course, Wendy dumped him six month later.  To mend his broken
 heart, the FOAF went to New York. While there, he was standing
 at one of those trough-like pissoirs next to a strapping young
 Black man. He notices "Wy" tattooed on the man's penis.

 FOAF: "Excuse me. Did you go out with Wendy?"

 Black guy: "Huh?"

 FOAF: "Your tattoo. Does it say 'Wendy?'"

 Black guy: "No. It say 'Welcome to New York. Have a nice day.'"

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Subj:     A Heart? An Eagle? A Mermaid? (S1022)
          From: AFine963 on 8/11/2016
 Source: http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201311_1411_gbgcf.jpg
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Subj:     Short Tattoo Jokes
 

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Subj:     Unique Tattoo (S537c)
          From: darrell94590 on 5/2/2007
 You can view this unique tattoo by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Don't Want To Hear At Tatoo Parlor (S289b)
          From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/11/2002
 Things You Do Not Want To Hear At A Tatoo Parlor

 "Eagle? I thought you said BEAGLE."

 "We're all out of red, so I used pink."

 "There are 2 O's in Bob, right?"

 "Gosh, I hate it when I get the hiccups."

 "The flag's all done and, you know, the folds
  of fat make a nice waving effect."

 "Ooooooops!"
 

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Subj:     Tattooed Grandma (S482c)
          From: darrell94590 on 4/13/2006
 This is X-Rated.  I do not know  if I should should laugh,
 or cry, or smile.  You can view it by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Tatoo of the Year (S473b)
          From: darrell94590 on 2/7/2006
 You can see a larger version of this tattoo by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Penis Tattooed For Profit (S288b)
          From: jerry on 8/5/2002
 A "unique use of eBay technology" bonehead award goes to a
 man and his wife who posted eBay auction 1754669488 (no
 longer up on eBay) auctioning off advertising space on his
 wiener for a tattooed message.

 The Register (UK) 1-Aug-02
 

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Subj:     Tattoo Anniversary Present (S446)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/16/2005
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this comic strip by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Two Faces Man (S438b)
          From: LABLaughsRiddles on 6/16/2005
..........Source: (Removed from erazz.com)
 To view the 'Two Faced Man' click 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Tattoos In Bars (S435)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/24/2005
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 You can view this cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Bizarro Cartoon On Tattoos (S382)
          by Dan Piraro on May 5,2004
          From: King Features Syndicated Comics
 Source: http://bizarro.com/comics/may-5-2004/
 You can view this cartoon by clicking 'HERE'.
 

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Subj:     Winner Of The Funniest Tattoo (S696) 
          From: darrellvip on 5/22/2010
Tattoo from JokeTattoo.net...
 Click 'HERE' to see this funny tattoo with nudity.
 

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                           -(o o)-
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..........................From Scorpion Site
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