Subj: Tax-Supp Jokes
(Includes 23 jokes and articles, 24850,16,cf,md4,14)
Tax Time2 from
Animation Factory
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Subj: Tax-Supp Jokes (Includes 23 jokes and articles, 24850,16,cf,md4,14) |
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Tax Time2 from Animation Factory |
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Subj:
Taxman -- George Harrison And Eric Clapton (live) (S692d, S824)
From: Ruby Stanley on Facebook on 4/25/2010 Photo from YouTube.com |
Live in Tokyo, Japan in 1966,
it's George Harrison and Eric
Clapton. Two names that,
said together, echo greatness
through out the world.
Click on the above source, or
'Here'
for my copy, to see this concert.
Top
Subj: Our
Tax System Explained in Terms of Beer (S613c)
From: tom on 10/8/2008
Using actual percentages, the
impact of a tax cut, and the
public reaction that everyone
should be able to understand.
Suppose that every day, ten men
go out for beer and the bill
for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way
we pay our taxes, it would go
something like this:
The first four men (the poorest)
would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest)
would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided
to do. The ten men drank in
the bar every day and seemed
quite happy with the arrangement,
until one day, the owner threw
them a curve. "Since you are
all such good customers," he
said, "I'm going to reduce the
cost of your daily beer by $20.
"Drinks for the ten now cost
just $80.
The group still wanted to pay
their bill the way we pay our
taxes, so the first four men
were unaffected. They would
still drink for free.
But what about the other six men -
the paying customers? How could
they divide the $20 wind-
fall so that everyone would
get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided
by six is $3.33. But if
they subtracted that from everybody's
share, then the
fifth man and the sixth man
would each end up being paid
to drink his beer. So,
the bar owner suggested that it
would be fair to reduce each
man's bill by roughly the
same amount, and he proceeded
to work out the amounts
each should pay.
And so -
The fifth man, like the first
four, now paid nothing
(100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead
of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead
of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead
of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead
of $18 ( 22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead
of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off
than before. And the
first four continued to drink
for free. But once
outside the restaurant, the
men began to compare
their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the
$20," declared the
sixth man. He pointed to the
tenth man," but he got
$10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed
the fifth man. "I
only saved a dollar, too.
It's unfair that he got
ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh
man. "Why should
he get $10 back when I got only
two? The wealthy get
all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first
four men in unison.
"We didn't get anything at all.
The system exploits
the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth
and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man
didn't show up for drinks,
so the nine sat down and had
beers without him. But
when it came time to pay the
bill, they discovered
something important. They
didn't have enough money
between all of them for even
half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists
and college
professors, is how our tax system
works. The people
who pay the highest taxes get
the most benefit from
a tax reduction. Tax them
too much, attack them for
being wealthy, and they just
may not show up anymore.
In fact, they might start drinking
overseas where the
atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia
For those who understand, no
explanation is needed.
For those who do not, or will
not, understand, no
explanation is possible.
Snopes.com only checked the authorship
of this internet
article and found that David
Kamerschen was NOT its author.
No one knows who originally
wrote it as verified at
http://www.snopes.com/business/taxes/howtaxes.asp
| Subj:
Mother Goose & Grimm (S636b)
By Mike Peters From: Grimmy.com on 3/29/2009 |
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This cartoon of bikers doing
their taxes is cute. Click
'HERE'
to view it.
Top
Subj: Bringing
Your Lawyer To The IRS (S502)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/30/2005
(See 'Little
Old Lady Meets Bank President' in Elderly2)
The IRS decides to audit Ed,
and summons him to the IRS
office. The IRS auditor
is not surprised when Ed shows
up with his attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir,
you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment,
which you explain
by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the IRS
finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can
prove it," says Ed. "How
about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ed says, "I'll bet you a thousand
dollars that I can bite
my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and
says, "No way! It's a bet."
Ed removes his glass eye and
bites it. The auditor's jaw
drops.
Ed says, "Now, I'll bet you two
thousand dollars that I
can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell Ed isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ed removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes
he has wagered and lost
three grand, with Ed's attorney
as a witness. He starts
to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?"
Ed asks. "I'll bet you
six thousand dollars that I
can stand on one side of your
desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side,
and never get a drop anywhere
in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is
cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there's
no way this guy can manage
that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ed stands beside the desk and
unzips his pants, but although
he strains mightily, he can't
make the stream reach the
wastebasket on other side, so
he pretty much urinates all
over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing
that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge
win. But Ed's attorney
moans and puts his head in his
hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney.
"This morning, when Ed
told me he'd been summoned for
an audit, he bet me twenty
thousand dollars that he could
come in here and piss all
over an IRS official's desk
and that you'd be happy about
it."
Top
Subj: Frank
and Ernest On Tax Returns (S581c)
From: WashingtonPost.com on 3/7/2008
Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
......../affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=franknernest
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Subj: A Letter
To Our Senator (S500)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/17/2006
Dear Senator ,
As a native Californian and excellent
customer of the Internal
Revenue Service, I am writing
to ask for your assistance. I
have contacted the immigration
and Naturalization Service in
an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal
alien and they referred me to
you.
My reasons for wishing to change
my status from U.S. Citizen
to illegal alien stem from the
bill which was recently passed
by the Senate and for which
you voted. If my understanding
of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien
who has been in the United States
for five years, what I
need to do to become a citizen
is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the
last five years.
I know a good deal when I see
one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone
figures it out. Simply
put, those of us who have been
here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited
about the prospect of avoiding
two years of taxes in return
for paying a $2,000 fine. Is
there any way that I can apply
to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent
result for me and my family
because we paid heavy taxes
in 2004 and 2005.
Another benefit in gaining illegal
status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential
treatment relative to
her law school applications.
If you would provide me with
an outline of the process to
become illegal retroactively
if possible) and copies of the
necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you
for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Thanks Hampster
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Subj:
Senator Sanders' Top 10 Worst
.............Corporate Income Tax Avoiders: (S763d) From: lubin100 on 8/28/2011 |
Bernie Sanders, U.S. Senator
for Vermont, on March 30,2011
before the Senate, listed the
ten worst corporate income
tax avoiders in the United States.
Benicia's own Valero Energy was
sixth on Sanders' list. It
was the 25th largest company
in America with $68 billion in
sales last year received a $157
million tax refund check
from the IRS and, over the past
three years, it received a
$134 million tax break from
the oil and gas manufacturing
tax deduction. Valero
donates thousands of dollars in
Benicia and the Bay Area while
avoiding paying any federal
tax, reduced their property
tax by $350 thousand per year
and pay only 4% user utility
tax versus 10% that Chevron pays.
"We have a deficit problem. It
has to be addressed," Sanders
said, "but it cannot be addressed
on the backs of the sick,
the elderly, the poor, young
people, the most vulnerable in
this country. The wealthiest
people and the largest corpor-
ations in this country have
got to contribute. We've got to
talk about shared sacrifice."
Click on the top source, or 'HERE'for
my copy, to see Sanders
four and a half minute speech
before the Senate.
Top
Subj: Dennis
The IRS Menace (S724)
By Ward Sutton, From: Tea Party Comics
in Funny Times on November 2010
Source1: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_
..........opinion/cartoons/092410_Tea_Party?pg=6
Cartoonist Ward Sutton created
an Internet sensation with
the Boston Globe's publication
of his Tea Party Comics, a
satiric look at America's comic-page
stalwarts, with a
rightward spin.
.
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Subj:
Tom Meyer Political Cartoons (DU,d)
By Tom Meyer From: KenK007 on 4/17/2013 |
| Subj:
Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S668b)
By Bob Thaves From: WashingtonPost.com on 10/1/2009 |
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Subj:
Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S821)
By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/30/2012 |
| Subj:
Ballard Street Cartoon (S645b)
by Jerry Van Amerongen From: Creators.com on 5/17/2009 |
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Subj:
Ann Telnaes Cartoons (S637)
From: WashingtonPost.com on 4/15/2009 |
| Subj:
Frank And Ernest On Socrates (DU, in Greek)
By Bob Thaves From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/16/2008 |
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You can read this cute Socrates
quotation by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj:
IRS Pencil Sharpener (S586c)
From: AFine963 on 4/10/2008 |
| Subj:
The Sudoku Accounting Method (S584)
From: WashingtonPost.com (in statistics) on 4/2/2008 |
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Subj:
Federal Tax Refund (S534)
From: darrell94590 on 4/16/2007 |
| Subj:
1040 EZ 2 Do Tax Form (S494c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/13/2006 |
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Subj:
Frank And Ernest Cartoon II (S741)
By Bob Thaves From: WashingtonPost.com on 4/15/2011 |
Be wary of strong drink.
It can make you shoot at
tax
collectors and miss. -- Robert Heinlein (in Quotes1)
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 4/11/2007
(S534b)
"The avoidance of taxes is the
only intellectual pursuit
that carries any reward."
-- John Maynard Keynes
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/20/2007 (S538b)
Patrick Henry should come back
to see what taxation
with representation is like.
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/17/2009 (S634b)
In the US, it takes more brainpower
to fill
out the income tax forms than
it does to
earn the income in the first
place.
From: LABLaughsClean on 9/1/2009 (S660b)
"We have a system that increasingly
taxes work and
subsidizes nonwork."
-- Milton Friedman
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Thumb is from Grampsboyd on 3/6/2004.
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