Subj: Tree, Plants, and Chainsaw Jokes
(Includes 41 jokes and articles, 20814,13,cf,md,9)
Tree ? Beaver from
Animation Factory
| >>>
Subj: Tree, Plants, and Chainsaw Jokes (Includes 41 jokes and articles, 20814,13,cf,md,9) |
|
Tree ? Beaver from Animation Factory |
Also see BIRDS file - 'Two
Woodpeckers Argue'
BIRTHDAYS - 'From
What Tree Did You Fall?'
BREAST file - 'Kinds
Of Breasts And Penises'
GOLF1 file - 'Two
Golfers And A Pine Tree'
GOD2 file - 'Woodcutter
Meets The Lord'
......................-
'Lawns
and God'
JOBS2 file - 'Government
Road Workers'
MATH1 file - 'Cajun
Math Test'
MATH3 file - 'The
History Of Math Word Problems'
OTHER-ANIMALS- 'Turtle
Climbs A Tree'
STORIES file - 'Tired
Carpenter Gets Ride Home'
============================================================Top
 |
Subj:
Mexican Tree Removal (S753)
From: darrellvip on 6/16/2011 |
Normally I do not forward homemade,
disaster movies, but
this one is funny and no one
was hurt. Click on either
source, or 'HERE'
for my copy, to see this 2007 video.
\\\//
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Subj: Telling
The Front From The Back Of A Tree? (S693)
From: rfslick on 4/29/2010
A redneck named Bubba from Georgia
decided to travel across
the south to Virginia to see
God'S country. When he got to
Franklin, he liked the place
so much that he decided to stay.
But first he had find a job!!!!
Bubba walked into the International
Paper Company office and
filled out an application as
an experienced log inspector.
It was his lucky day!!
They just happened to be looking
for someone right then.
But first, the log foreman took him
for a ride into the forest in
the company pickup truck to
see how much he knew.
The foreman stopped the truck
on the side of the road and
pointed at a tree and said "See
that tree over there? I
want you to tell me what species
it is and how many board
feet of lumber it contains."
Bubba promptly answered, "That
thar's a white pine, and
thar's 383 board feet of lumber
in 'er."
The foreman was impressed!!!
He put the truck back in
gear and started driving again.
He stopped about a mile
down the road and pointed at
another tree through the
passenger window. The
foreman asked the same two questions
as before. This time it
was a bigger tree of a different
class.
The redneck replied, "That's
a loblolly pine and she's got
about 456 clear board feet."
The foreman was really impressed
with this good ol' boy.
This redneck was quick and he
got the answers right with-
out using a calculator!!!
But the foreman wanted to do
one more test.
They drove a little further down
the road, and the fore-
man stopped the truck again.
This time, he pointed across
the road and said, "And what
about that one?"
Before the foreman could finish
pointing, Bubba said, "White
oak, and 242 board feet at best."
The foreman spun the truck around
and headed back to the
office a little ticked off because
he thinks the redneck
is smarter than himself.
As they neared the office, the
foreman stopped the truck and
asked Bubba to step out of
the truck. The foreman
handed the him a piece of chalk
and told the him, "See that
tree over there? I want you
to mark an "X" on the front
of that tree!!" The foreman
thinks to himself, "Idiot, how
will he know which is
the front of a tree?"
When Bubba reaches the tree,
he walkes around it in a
circle while looking at the
ground. He reaches up and
places a white "X" on the trunk.
The redneck then walked
back to the foreman and handed
him the chalk. "That thar's
the front," Bubba said.
The foreman laughs to himself
and asks sarcastically, "How
in hell do you know that's the
front of the tree?"
The good ol' boy looks down at
his feet, while rubbing the
toe of his left boot cleaning
it in the gravel and replied,
"Cuz someone took a shit behind
it!"
Bubba got the job.
\\\//
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| Subj:
What Do You Hear? (S518c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 12/20/2006 |
 |
This is a cute, Christmas comic
strip. You can view it at
the source above, or on my web
site by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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Subj: The
Bacon Tree (S594c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 5/27/2008
Two Mexicans are stuck in the
desert, wandering aimlessly
and close to death.
They are close to just lying
down and waiting for the
inevitable, when all of a sudden...
'Hey Pepe, do you smell what
I smell? Ees bacon I ahm
sure of eet.'
'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee'.
So, with renewed strength, they
struggle up the next sand
dune, and there, in the distance,
is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture...
There's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...
Every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
'Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!'
'Luis, are you sure ees not a
meerage? We ees in the Desert
don't forget.'
'Pepe, when deed you ever hear
of a meerage that smeell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees
a bacon tree'.
And with that...Luis races toward the tree.
He gets to within 5 meters, with
Pepe following closely
behind, when all of a sudden
a machine gun opens up and
Luis is cut down in his tracks.
It is clear he is mortally wounded
but, true friend that
he is, he manages to warn Pepe
with his dying breath.
'Pepe...go back man, you was right. Ees not a bacon tree.'
'Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it?
'Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
Ees...
... Eees a Ham Bush!"
\\\//
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Subj: Two
Woodpeckers Argue (S521b, S690)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/10/2007
and
From: tom on 4/8/2010
An Hawaiian woodpecker and a
California woodpecker were
arguing about which place had
the toughest trees. The
Hawaiian woodpecker said Hawaii
had a tree that no
woodpecker could peck.
The California woodpecker accepted
his challenge, and promptly
pecked a hole in the tree with
no problem.
The Hawaiian woodpecker was in
awe. The California wood-
pecker then challenged the Hawaiian
woodpecker to peck a
tree in California that was
absolutely unpeckable. The
Hawaii woodpecker expressed
confidence he could do it, so
accepted the challenge.
After flying to California, the
Hawaii woodpecker successfully
pecked the tree with no
problem.
The two woodpeckers were now
confused. How is it that
the Californian woodpecker was
able to peck the Hawaiian
tree and the Hawaiian woodpecker
was able to peck the
Californian tree, but neither
one was able to peck the
tree in their own state?
After much woodpecker-pondering,
they both came to the same conclusion.
Apparently, Tiger
Woods was right, when he said,
your pecker gets harder
when you're away from home.
\\\//
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Subj:
Herman Comic Strip (S641)
By Jim Unger From: WashingtonPost.com on 4/19/2009 |
This Herman comic strip discusses
the riddle of whether
a tree falling in a forest makes
a sound if people are
are not there. Click 'HERE'
to read this cute strip.
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Subj: All I Need To Know About Life
I Learned From Trees (S482)
From:
Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 4/22/2006
* It's important to have roots.
* In today's complex world, it pays to branch out.
* Don't pine away over old flames.
* If you really believe in something,
don't be afraid to
go out on a limb.
* Be flexible so you don't break when a harsh wind blows.
* Sometimes you have to shed your old bark in order to grow.
* If you want to maintain accurate records, keep a log.
* To be politically correct, don't wear firs.
* Grow where you're planted.
* It's perfectly okay to be a late bloomer.
* Avoid people who would like to cut you down.
* Get all spruced up when you have a hot date.
* If the party gets boring, just leaf.
* You can't hide your true colors
as you approach
the autumn of your life.
\\\//
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Subj: The
Tree Riddle (S423b)
From: LABLaughsRiddles on 2/25/2005
This multiple riddle dates from
the 19th. century. To solve
it completely, you are required
to identify 65 names of trees.
Even we don't know all the answers.
Where we do know (or think
we know) we have provided.
What's the sociable tree, and
the dancing tree,
And the tree that is nearest
the sea;
The most yielding tree, the
busiest tree,
And the tree where ships may
be?
The languishing tree, the least
selfish tree,
And the tree that bears a curse;
The chronologist's tree, the
fisherman's tree,
And the tree like an Irish nurse?
The tell-tale tree, and the traitor
tree,
And the tree that's the warmest
clad;
The layman's restraint, and
the housewife's tree,
And the tree that makes one
sad?
The tree that with death befrights
you,
The tree that your wants would
supply,
The tree that to travel invites
you,
And the tree that forbids you
to die?
The tree that will fight, and
the tree that obeys you,
And the tree that never stands
still;
The tree that got up, and the
tree that is lazy,
And the tree neither up nor
down hill?
The tree to be kissed, and the
dandiest tree,
The tree guiding ships to go
forth;
The tree of the people, the
unhealthiest tree,
And the tree whose wood faces
north?
The tree in a battle, the tree
in a fog,
And the tree that bids the joints
pain;
The terrible tree when schoolmasters
flog,
And the tree a mother and child
do name.
The emulous tree, the industrious
tree,
And the tree that warms mutton
when cold;
The reddest brown tree and the
reddest blue tree,
And the tree one becomes ere
one's old?
The treacherous tree, the contemptible
tree,
The tree to which wines are
inclined;
The tree that causes each townsman
to flee,
And what round fair ankles are
twined?
The tree that's entire, and the
tree that is split,
The tree half given by doctors
when ill;
The tree that we offer to friends
when we meet,
And the tree we may use as a
quill?
The tree that's immortal, and
the trees that are not,
And the tree that must pass
through the fire;
The tree that in Latin can ne'er
be forgot,
And in English we all most admire?
The Egyptian plague tree, the
tree that is dear,
And what round itself doth entwine;
The tree that in billiards must
ever be near,
And the tree that by Cockneys
is turned into wine?
x
x
x
x
x
Scroll down for the answer
x
x
x
x
x
Here it comes
x
x
x
x
x
A)Tea Tree, Caper
B)Beech
C)Rubber, Medlar
D)Bay
E)Pine, Yew
F)Apple
G)Date, Crab
H)Huneysuckle
I)Peach, Judas
J)Fir
K)Elder, Broom
L)Weeping Willow?
M)Cypress
N)Bread Tree
O)Mango(Man, go/Orange (O range)
P)Olive (O live)
Q) Box, Dogwood
R)Lilac (lie lack)?
S)Rose, Sloe
T)Plane
U)Tulip (two lip) tree,
Spruce
V)Elm (helm)
W)Poplar, Sycamore
X)southernwood
Y)? , Hazel
Z)Fever tree
AA)Birch
BB)Damsen
CC)Ivy (I vie), Cotten
DD)Flame tree(?)
EE)Chestnut, Gum
FF)Sage
GG)Judas Tree, Fig
HH) Cork
II)Plague
JJ)Sandel
kk)Holly (wholly)? Clove
LL)Bark
MM)Palm
NN)Aspen
OO)Amaranth, ?
PP)Ash
QQ)?
RR)Oak (?)
SS)Locust, ?
TT)Hop
UU) (?)
VV) Vine
\\\//
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| Subj: Dividing The
Spoils (S406)
Written by Sam Loyd (1841-1911) At: thinks.com/puzzles/loyd/loyd.htm After gathering 770 chestnuts,
the
How many chestnuts did each girl get? |
 |
Solution:
I've been told by some of you
anonymous mathematicians
that you don't bother with these
puzzles if I include the
solution. So, if you want
this solution go to the web site
http://thinks.com/puzzles/loyd/puzzle9a.htm
\\\//
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Subj: A What
Is It Riddle (DU)
From: LABLaughs.com on 9/7/2001
Dies half its life. Dances without
music, breathes without
breath. What is it?
x
x
x
x
x
Scroll down for the answer
x
x
x
x
x
Here it comes
x
x
x
x
x
Answer:
Tree
\\\//
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Subj: Lady
Slides Down Tree And Sees Doctor (S123, DU)
From: KMacinty on 6/1/99
A lady from California purchased
a piece of timber land in
Oregon. There was a large
tree on one of the highest points
in the tract. She wanted
to get a good view of her land so
she started to climb the big
tree. As she neared the top,
she encountered a spotted owl
that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the lady
slid down the tree to the
ground and got many splinters
in her private parts. In
considerable pain, she hurried
to the nearest doctor.
He listened to her story then
told her to go into the
examining room and he would
see if he could help her. She
sat and waited for three hours
before the doctor reappeared.
The angry lady demanded, " What took you so long?"
The unperturbed doctor replied,
"Well, I had to get permits
from the Environmental Protection
Agency, the Forest Service,
and the Bureau of Land Management
before I could remove old-
growth timber from a recreational
area."
\\\//
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Subj: The
Tree Picture Test (S76, S353b)
From: RFSlick on 98-07-15
Imagine you are walking into
an Art Gallery,
there are 4 paintings on the
wall:
Painting(1) = a
tree with falling leaves, autumn season...
Painting(2) = many
trees with lots of leaves and
sturdy trunks...
Painting(3) = a
tree in the winter season, with snow....
Painting(4) = a
garden with trees and flowers...
Rank these four paintings according
to your preference,
from the one you like best to
the one you least like...
Scroll down for interpretation:
This test is to see what you
think is important when
choosing your partner.
Painting(1) = Money : your partner
has to be well to do.
Painting(2) = Figure : your
partner
has to be well built/
has a fantastic figure.
Painting(3) = Looks : looks
means a lot to you.
Painting(4) = Personality :
a person with good character
will attract you first.
\\\//
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Subj: How
You Can SAVE With A Woodstove
From: Yzmir's HUMOR LISTS Updated 5/22/1997
$
Stove, Pipe, Installation, etc........................
458.00
Chain Saw.............................................
149.95
Gas and Maintenance for Chainsaw......................
44.60
4-Wheel Drive Pickup, Stripped........................
8,379.40
4-Wheel Drive Pickup, Maintenance.....................
438.00
Replace Rear Window of Pickup
(Twice)................. 310.00
Fine for Cutting Unmarked Tree
in State Forest........ 500.00
Fourteen Cases of Michelob Beer.......................
126.00
Littering Fine........................................
50.00
Tow Charge from Creek.................................
50.00
Doctor's Fee for Removing Splinter
from Eye........... 45.00
Safety Glasses........................................
29.50
Emergency Room Treatment (Broken
Toes - Dropped Log).. 125.00
Work Boots with Steel Toes............................
49.50
New Living Room Carpet................................
800.00
Paint Walls and Ceiling...............................
110.00
Worcester Chimney Brush and
Rods...................... 45.00
Log Splitter..........................................
150.00
Fifteen Acre Woodlot..................................
9,000.00
Taxes on Woodlot......................................
310.00
Replace Coffee Table (Chopped
up and Burned while Drunk) 75.00
Divorce Settlement....................................33,678.22
___________
Total First Year's Costs..54,922.81
Savings in "Conventional" Fuel - First Year.. 62.37
___________
Net Cost of First Year's Woodburning..54,815.44
(Wait till NEXT year...)
\\\//
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Subj: Frank
And Ernest Comic Strip (S617c)
by Bob Thaves
From: WashingtonPost.com on 11/3/2008
Source: http://members.comics.com/affiliate/washington_post/?ComicID=31
 |
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Subj: Pheasant
Wants To Climb A Tree (S287, S622b)
From: mbucher on 98-01-12
and
From: ginafm on 12/10/2008
A pheasant was standing in a
field chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to
get to the top of yonder tree,"
the pheasant sighed, "but I
haven't got the energy." "Well,
why don't you nibble on some
of my droppings?" replied the
bull. "They're packed
with nutrients."
The pheasant pecked at a lump
of dung and found that it
actually gave him enough strength
to reach the first branch
of the tree. The next
day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch and
so on.
Finally, after a fourth night,
there he was proudly perched
at the top of the tree.
Whereupon a farmer spotted him and
dashed into the farmhouse, emerged
with a shotgun, and shot
the pheasant right out of the
tree.
Moral of the Story: Bullshit
might get you to the top, but
it won't keep you there.
\\\//
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Subj: Trees
Argue (S280b, S428)
From: http://www.twistedhumor.com
on 10/12/2000
and
From: DoctorDebt on 4/8/2005
A birch tree and beech tree carried
on a decades long
argument as to which tree was
more attractive, taller,
etc. One day a sapling
began to grow between the two
trees.
"Hey, I see a new tree over there. Is that a son of a beech?"
"I don't think so. Do you
think it's a son of a birch?" his
friend replied. They discussed
this for some time but could
come to no conclusion.
They ask around and other trees
consider it, and animals passing
by try to help, but no one
can tell if it's a son of a
birch or a son of a beech.
Finally they spotted a woodpecker
flying by and asked him if
he could help resolve their
dilemna. "Sure", he said and
flew over to the new tree.
He flew up one side and down the
other, checking the new tree
out, to no avail. He flew to
the top and looked down and
then flew and landed on the
ground. Still no dice.
He thought to himself, I better
go drum on this for awhile.
He started pecking on the new
tree. RAT-A-TAT-TAT-TAT!
Finally he flew back over to
the other two trees and said
his answer.
"I have good news and bad news.
The sapling is neither a
son of a beech.. nor a son of
a birch. It is however, the
best piece of ash I ever had
my pecker in." Shaking his
beak, he flew away!
\\\//
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Subj: Son
Gives Dad A ChainSaw (S48)
From: Ossama's Laugh on 12/28/97
A lumberjack had raised his only
son ? had managed to finance
the young man's college education
by the only way he knew
how, cutting down trees, by
hand. The young man had helped
his father cut down some of
those trees. He knew how hard
his father had to work to put
him through college.
When the son started college
he promised himself the first
thing he would do was to buy
his father a present that would
make the old man's life easier.
The son saved ? scrimped ?
finally had enough money to
purchase the finest chain saw in
the world.
On a school vacation the son
asks his dad how many trees
could he cut down in one day.
The father a large husky man
thought and said on a good day
he was able to bring down 20
trees. The son gave the
father the brand new chain saw ?
said from now on he would be
able to triple the amount and
only work half as hard.
The old man was very pleased
and said he had the best son
in the world. The young
man left for school the next morning
? wasn't able to return until
the next school break, 3 months
later.
When he arrived he immediately
noticed that his dad appeared
run down. He asked if
his father was feeling alright. The
old man replied that cutting
trees was getting harder ? harder
? now with the new chain saw
he was working longer hours but
not cutting as many trees as
before.
The son knew there was something
wrong ? thought perhaps the
saw he purchased wasn't as good
as advertised. He asked to
check it out. Upon examining
it he checked the oiler ? it
was full. He checked the
gas ? it too was full. He yanked
on the cord ? immediately it
roared to life.
His father grabbed him by the
shirt ? hollered "WHAT'S THAT
NOISE!!!!"
\\\//
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Subj: Bizarro
Cartoon (S809)
By Dan Piraro
From: WashingtonPost.com on 7/12/2012
Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/
.........comics/king.html?name=Bizarro&date=20120712
.
 |
A guy is cutting down a tree
with a chainsaw while his friend
watches. Suddenly he slips
and cuts his friend's head clean
from off of his shoulders.
They both work for the government
so the guy reports the accident
to his foreman. The foreman
says: "Well somebody's going
to have to tell his wife", to
which the guy replies "I feel
a bit guilty so I'll go."
The guy turns up at the wife's
house, but so she would know
he wasn't some kind of sick
hoaxer he takews the decapitated
head with him. Holding
the head by the hair behind his back
he knocks on the door.
A woman opens the door: "Yes?"
"Excuse me," says the guy "Does
your husband work for the
Forestry Commission?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Does he have black hair and a black beard?"
"Yes"
"And a scar down his left cheek?"
"Yes, that's him" says the woman.
"Well is this him?" says the
guy, pulling the head from
behind his back.
"No," says the woman.
"No?" says the guy, surprised.
"He's a lot taller than that."
\\\//
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Subj: Tree
Camaflage (DU)
From: TNKRTEACH on 97-05-03
During camouflage training in
Louisiana, a private disguised
as a tree trunk had made a sudden
move that was spotted by
a visiting general. "You
simpleton!" the officer barked.
"Don't you know that by jumping
and yelling the way you did,
you could have endangered the
lives of the entire company?"
"Yes sir," the solder answered
apologetically. "But, if I
may say so, I did stand still
when a flock of pigeons used
me for target practice.
And I never moved a muscle when a
large dog peed on my lower branches.
But when two squirrels
ran up my pants leg and I heard
the bigger say, "Let's eat
one now and save the other until
winter' ---that did it."
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Tree Jokes (DU)
| Subj:
Advice From A Tree (S810d)
From: Nancy Tyler Bonesteel on Facebook on 7/23/2012 |
 |
 |
Subj:
How To Chop Wood Without Messing Around (S748)
From: Wimp.com on 5/15/2011 |
| Subj:
Horse Gets Head Stuck In Tree (S625b)
By Chris Irvine (in Horse file) From: Telegraph.co.uk on 12/31/2008 |
 |
Photo: Wenn |
 |
Subj:
Frank And Ernest Comic Strip II (S621c)
by Bob Thaves From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/26/2008 |
Top
Subj: Poem
About the Forest (S389)
From: Anonymous Jr on July 5,2004
Come follow me, though I've
no legs
I'll lead you through the trees.
Come follow me, though I've
no voice
to call you on the breeze.
These woods are wild as can
be,
I know them well,
come follow me, what am I?
The answer backwards:
htap si rewsna eht
| Subj:
Blondie Comic Strip (S620b)
by Dennis Young and Denis Lebrun From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/14/2008 |
 |
Top
Subj: Burning
Your Mail (S201b)
From: jerry on 6/17/2002
Bonehead award two goes to U.S.
Forest Service ranger,
Terry Barton, of Colorado who
went into the woods to
burn a letter from her estranged
husband and set the
State of Colorado on fire.
103,000 acres and 22 homes were
destroyed because she
decided to burn the letter instead
of simply tearing
it up. She could be sentenced
to 10 years in prison
and fined $250,000 if convicted.
Nando Times 17-Jun-02
 |
Subj:
Nine Amazing Trees (S589)
From: ginafm on 4/29/2008 |
Top
Subj: Gang
Holds Trees Hostage (S250)
From: rodney on 10/27/2001
A gang in Germany are holding
trees 'hostage' by
threatening to chop them down
if their owners don't
hand over hundreds of pounds.
Police say adverts in
Hanover claim the gang will
take on every kind of
garden work at a reasonable
price. But when they
show up as arranged, the men
take out chainsaws
and threaten to cut down trees
if they aren't given
money.
One woman has already lost two
trees for failing to
find the money in time...
| Subj:
Tree On The Lake (S465b)
From: auntiegah on 12/17/2005 |
 |
Top
Subj: A Man
With A Plan (S320)
From: JBCARY1 on 3/16/2003
The picture, "A Man With A Plan" can
be viewed
on my joke web site by clicking 'Here'.
Top
Subj: Burning
Your Mail (S201b)
From: jerry on 6/17/2002
Bonehead award two goes to U.S.
Forest Service ranger,
Terry Barton, of Colorado who
went into the woods to
burn a letter from her estranged
husband and set the
State of Colorado on fire.
103,000 acres and 22 homes were
destroyed because she
decided to burn the letter instead
of simply tearing
it up. She could be sentenced
to 10 years in prison
and fined $250,000 if convicted.
Nando Times 17-Jun-02
Top
Subj: Gang
Holds Trees Hostage (S250)
From: rodney on 10/27/2001
A gang in Germany are holding
trees 'hostage' by
threatening to chop them down
if their owners don't
hand over hundreds of pounds.
Police say adverts in
Hanover claim the gang will
take on every kind of
garden work at a reasonable
price. But when they
show up as arranged, the men
take out chainsaws
and threaten to cut down trees
if they aren't given
money.
One woman has already lost two
trees for failing to
find the money in time...
Top
Subj: Short
But Sweet (S51)
From: RFSlick on 98-01-22
NEWS FLASH from API newswire:
For immediate release
Tahoe
The following was delivered
to our offices less than one hour ago...
FROM: THE TREES
STop tHE LogGINg oR wE WiLl coNtInUE To KIll oNe CeleBrITY EacH WeEK.
theRe ARe nO SkIinG "aCciDenTS."
Top
Subj: Popsicle
Stick Riddle (S814)
From: Unilever
................Englewood
Cliffs, NJ 07632
Source: www.Popsicle.com
.
 |
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation.
Just as a figure skater's rate
of spin increases when the
arms are brought in close to
the body, the cutting of tall
trees may cause our planet to
spin dangerously fast.
My all-time favorite philosophy
joke:
What classic fallacy
of logic is contained in the following:
All
trees have bark.
All
dogs bark.
Therefore,
all dogs are trees.
The fallacy of barking
up the wrong tree.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #253 on 98-10-22
Where do forest rangers go to
get away from it all.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #294 on 98-12-14
To all those tree huggers, try
wipeing with plastic
toilet paper!
From: igiggle on 8/18/2004 (S395b)
I've killed so many plants.
I walked into a nursery once
and my face was on a wanted
poster.
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/21/2009 (S628b)
"The trees that are slow to
grow bear the best fruit."
-- Moliere
From: humorlist-digest V2 #34 on 98-02-04
Q: What do a Christmas tree
and priest have in common?
A: The balls are just for decoration.
From: LABLaughsAdult on 1/18/2005 (S416b)
Q: What do you call a gay X-mas
tree?
A: Spruce
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-(o o)-
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..........................
Smiley
in Love from Smiley_Central.
.
.