Fourth Of July Articles and Jokes
(Includes 15 jokes and articles, 15818,9,cf,md,9)
Good Clean Fun!
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Launched
On The Fourth Of July ...'
JOBS3 file - 'Pack It In! Happy New Year!'
SCHOOL3 file - 'Nursery Students Learn Of Freedom'
STORIES - 'Soldier's True Friendship'
......................- 'True Story Of Taps'
TEAR-JERKER1 - 'Reflections Of The Vietnam Wall'
TEAR-JERKER2 - 'A Moment In A Concentration Camp'
Pledge Of Allegiance (S283b, S671d)
From: Good Clean Fun! on 7/5/2002
and From: tom on 11/18/2009
Commentary on the Pledge of Allegiance by Red Skelton
As a schoolboy, one of Red Skelton's
the words and meaning of the Pledge of Allegiance to his
class. Skelton later wrote down, and eventually recorded,
his recollection of this lecture. It is followed by an
observation of his own.
You can listen to Red Skelton
explain our pledge of allegiance
at the source above, or on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
to see a video of Red Skelton's
"Pledge of Allegiance."
A fellow and his wife living
in Houston, Texas, where
the people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth
of twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on
the 4th of July, and the father, being patriotic, said to
his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice, after
the pledge of allegiance".
His wife said, "Are you nuts?
You can't have girls going
through life with names like Liberty and Justice. We are
going to name them regular girl's names like Mary or
Well, the argument went on for
about a month, when a
compromise was reached. They would each name one of the
girls. The man chose Liberty and the wife picked
As the girls grew, they were
so identical, they kept
pulling tricks on people who couldn't tell them apart.
Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took
interest in them. He would take one out on a date but
he was never sure which one he was with.
He decided he would marry at
least one of them, but he
was not sure which one he would marry.
He went to the girls father and explained his quandary.
"I love your daughters and want
to marry one of them, but
I can't tell them apart, so I will leave it up to you...
Give me Liberty or give me Beth."
Robin Williams As The American Flag (S700)
From: rfslick on 7/2/2010
Photo from YouTube.com
Robin Williams portrays the American
flag in "I Love Liberty,"
a two-hour television special created by Norman Lear and
presented by People For the American Way on March 21,1982.
Click on either source, or 'HERE' for my copy, to see this
wonderful, funny video.
Subj: Letter To Thomas Jefferson
From: smiles on 98-07-07
RevTony sends 'a bit of history
with this little known letter'
Letter to Thomas Jefferson
The Court of King George III
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress
Dear Mr. Jefferson:
We have read your "Declaration
of Independence" with great
interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable under-
taking, and many of your statements do merit serious
consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole
fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals
to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for
further refinement. The questions which follow might assist
you in your process of revision:
1. In your opening paragraph
you use the phrase "the Laws
of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In
what way are they the criteria on which you base your
central arguments? Please document with citations from
the recent literature.
2. In the same paragraph
you refer to the "opinions of
mankind." Whose polling data are you using? Without
specific evidence, it seems to us the "opinions of
mankind" are a matter of opinion.
3. You hold certain truths
to be "self-evident." Could
you please elaborate. If they are as evident as you
claim then it should not be difficult for you to locate
the appropriate supporting statistics.
4. "Life, Liberty, and
the pursuit of happiness" seem to
be the goals of your proposal. These are not measur-
able goals. If you were to say that "among these is
the ability to sustain an average life expectancy in
six of the 13 colonies of at least 55 years, and to
enable newspapers in the colonies to print news without
outside interference, and to raise the average income
of the colonists by 10 percent in the next 10 years,"
these could be measurable goals. Please clarify.
5. You state that "Whenever
any Form of Government becomes
destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the
People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a
new Government...." Have you weighed this assertion
against all the alternatives? What are the trade-off
6. Your description of
the existing situation is quite
extensive. Such a long list of grievances should
precede the statement of goals, not follow it. Your
problem statement needs improvement.
7. Your strategy for achieving
your goal is not developed
at all. You state that the colonies "ought to be Free
and Independent States," and that they are "Absolved
from All Allegiance to the British Crown." Who or
what must change to achieve this objective? In what
way must they change? What specific steps will you
take to overcome the resistance? How long will it
take? We have found that a little foresight in these
areas helps to prevent careless errors later on. How
cost-effective are your strategies?
8. Who among the list of
signatories will be responsible
for implementing your strategy? Who conceived it?
Who provided the theoretical research? Who will
constitute the advisory committee? Please submit an
organization chart and vitas of the principal
9. You must include an
evaluation design. We have been
requiring this since Queen Anne's War.
10. What impact will your problem
have? Your failure to
include any assessment of this inspires little
confidence in the long-range prospects of your
11. Please submit a PERT diagram,
an activity chart,
itemized budget, and manpower utilization matrix.
We hope that these comments prove
useful in revising
your "Declaration of Independence." We welcome the
submission of your revised proposal. Our due date for
unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies
with original signatures will be required.
Management Analyst to the British Crown
Homemade Firework (S631b)
From: tom on 2/10/2009
This movie on how to make fireworks
is cute and
educational. Click 'HERE' to see it.
Subj: The Price They Paid (S74)
Written by Dr. Bob Wells,
Published in the Vallejo Times-Herald on Friday, July 3,1998,
From the Marion Devin column, Typed by AJSwitzer
Have you ever wondered what happened
to those men who signed
the Declaration of Independence? Five signers were captured
by the British as traitors, and were tortured before they
died. Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. Two lost
their sons in the Revolutionary Army, another had two sons
captured. Nine of the fifty-six fought and died from their
wounds or the hardships of the Revolutionary War.
What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and
jurists, eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large
plantation owners, men of means, well educated, but they
signed the Declaration of Independence knowing fully well
that the penalty would be death, if captured. They signed,
and they pledged their lives, their fortunes and their
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a
wealthy planter and trader,
saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He
sold his home and property to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded
by the British that he was
forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in
Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His
possessions were taken from him and poverty was his reward.
Vandals or soldiers, or both, looted the properties of Ellery,
Clymer, Hall Walton, Gwinnett, Hayward, Rutledge and Middleton.
At the Battle of Yorktown, Thomas
Nelson Jr. noted that the
British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for
his headquarters. The owner quietly urged General George
Washington to open fire, which was done. The home was
destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.
Francis Lewis had his home and
properties destroyed. The
enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his
wife's bedside as she was
dying. Their thirteen children fled for their lives. His
fields and grist mill were laid waste. For more than a year
he lived in forests and caves, returning home after the war
to find his wife dead, his children vanished. A few weeks
later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart. Norris
and Livingston suffered similar fates.
Such were the stories and sacrifices
of the American
Revolution. These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing
ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education.
They had security but valued liberty more. Standing tall,
straight and unwavering they pledged: "For the support of
this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of
the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our
lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor." They gave us an
independent America. Can we keep it?
Dog With Firework (S552c)
From: ginafm on 8/13/2007
As everyone knows, when Marco
Polo first opened the trade
routes to China, he was quite impressed with their rockets.
Now, these weren't quite the
fireworks we now know, but
they did shoot into the air, explode and make some pretty
Strangely, no matter where he
went, there were people who
made fireworks, but he had trouble finding someone to
demonstrate them for him.
"Not here!" they said. ...very confusing.
Until finally, Marco Polo came
upon an ancient military
fortification in Chu' Lai. Here, fireworks were launched
every night, and he was very impressed! But still he
wondered, "Why here?" At the end of every week, people
came from great distances, bringing their own fireworks
to launch. So Marco Polo asked his guide why everyone
came here to launch their fireworks.
Marco Polo's guide replied: "Why
honored Sir, we ~always~
set off our fireworks over the Forts of Chu' Lai"
I'm Putting Up the Flag (S818d)
From: Mel's Video of the Day on 9/15/2012
Photo from YouTube.com...
A man reflects on why he puts
up the American flag, and
the freedom it symbolizes. Click on either source, or
'HERE' for my copy, to see very nice, down to earth
Subj: Short Fourth Of July Jokes
The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S652b)
by Glenn and Gary McCoy
From: WashingtonPost.com on 7/3/2009
4th of July Idiot Of The Year (S551)
Lady Liberty Fireworks
From: dmswitzer1325 on 7/3/2004
Writtem by Bill Hysmith
Only two people signed the Declaration
of Independence on
July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the
rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't
added until 5 years later.
From: Jose Ramos on Facebook on 7/8/2010
"You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence
every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers
who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle,
but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato
salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may
think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism."
-- Erma Bombeck
.............................Patriotic smiley from Smiley_Central.