(Includes 12 jokes and articles, 26685n,7)
>>>
>>>
Good Clean Fun!
| Subj:
Fourth Of July Articles and Jokes
(Includes 12 jokes and articles, 26685n,7) >>> >>> |
|
Good Clean Fun! |
Also see ACCIDENTS1 - 'Launched
On The Fourth Of July ...'
JOBS3 file - 'Pack
It In! Happy New Year!'
SCHOOL3 file - 'Nursery
Students Learn Of Freedom'
STORIES - 'Soldier's
True Friendship'
......................-
'True Story Of Taps'
TEAR-JERKER1 - 'Reflections
Of The Vietnam Wall'
TEAR-JERKER2 - 'A
Moment In A Concentration Camp'
============================================================Top
| Subj:
Pledge Of Allegiance (S283b, S671)
From: Good Clean Fun! on 7/5/2002 and From: tom on 11/18/2009 |
 |
Skelton sketch
from Tralfas-Archives |
Commentary on the Pledge of Allegiance by Red Skelton
As a schoolboy, one of Red Skelton's
teachers explained
the words and meaning of the
Pledge of Allegiance to his
class. Skelton later wrote
down, and eventually recorded,
his recollection of this lecture.
It is followed by an
observation of his own.
You can listen to Red Skelton
explain our pledge of allegiance
at the source above, or on my
web site by clicking 'HERE'.
.
.
 |
Click 'HERE'
to see a video of Red Skelton's
"Pledge of Allegiance." |
A fellow and his wife living
in Houston, Texas, where
the people are all patriots,
were blessed with the birth
of twins, two identical girls.
These twins were born on
the 4th of July, and the father,
being patriotic, said to
his wife, "We will name them
Liberty and Justice, after
the pledge of allegiance".
His wife said, "Are you nuts?
You can't have girls going
through life with names like
Liberty and Justice. We are
going to name them regular girl's
names like Mary or
Jane".
Well, the argument went on for
about a month, when a
compromise was reached.
They would each name one of the
girls. The man chose Liberty
and the wife picked
Elizabeth.
As the girls grew, they were
so identical, they kept
pulling tricks on people who
couldn't tell them apart.
Finally, when they were about
18, a young man took
interest in them. He would
take one out on a date but
he was never sure which one
he was with.
He decided he would marry at
least one of them, but he
was not sure which one he would
marry.
He went to the girls father and explained his quandary.
"I love your daughters and want
to marry one of them, but
I can't tell them apart, so
I will leave it up to you...
Give me Liberty or give me Beth."
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
 |
Subj:
Dog With Firework (S552c)
From: ginafm on 8/13/2007 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESGenNOuORY |
RevTony sends 'a bit of history
with this little known letter'
Letter to Thomas Jefferson
The Court of King George III
London, England
July 10, 1776
Mr. Thomas Jefferson
c/o The Continental Congress
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dear Mr. Jefferson:
We have read your "Declaration
of Independence" with great
interest. Certainly, it
represents a considerable under-
taking, and many of your statements
do merit serious
consideration. Unfortunately,
the Declaration as a whole
fails to meet recently adopted
specifications for proposals
to the Crown, so we must return
the document to you for
further refinement. The questions
which follow might assist
you in your process of revision:
1. In your opening paragraph
you use the phrase "the Laws
of Nature
and Nature's God." What are these laws? In
what way
are they the criteria on which you base your
central arguments?
Please document with citations from
the recent
literature.
2. In the same paragraph
you refer to the "opinions of
mankind."
Whose polling data are you using? Without
specific
evidence, it seems to us the "opinions of
mankind"
are a matter of opinion.
3. You hold certain truths
to be "self-evident." Could
you please
elaborate. If they are as evident as you
claim then
it should not be difficult for you to locate
the appropriate
supporting statistics.
4. "Life, Liberty, and
the pursuit of happiness" seem to
be the goals
of your proposal. These are not measur-
able goals.
If you were to say that "among these is
the ability
to sustain an average life expectancy in
six of the
13 colonies of at least 55 years, and to
enable newspapers
in the colonies to print news without
outside interference,
and to raise the average income
of the colonists
by 10 percent in the next 10 years,"
these could
be measurable goals. Please clarify.
5. You state that "Whenever
any Form of Government becomes
destructive
of these ends, it is the Right of the
People to
alter or to abolish it, and to institute a
new Government...."
Have you weighed this assertion
against all
the alternatives? What are the trade-off
considerations?
6. Your description of
the existing situation is quite
extensive.
Such a long list of grievances should
precede the
statement of goals, not follow it. Your
problem statement
needs improvement.
7. Your strategy for achieving
your goal is not developed
at all.
You state that the colonies "ought to be Free
and Independent
States," and that they are "Absolved
from All
Allegiance to the British Crown." Who or
what must
change to achieve this objective? In what
way must
they change? What specific steps will you
take to overcome
the resistance? How long will it
take?
We have found that a little foresight in these
areas helps
to prevent careless errors later on. How
cost-effective
are your strategies?
8. Who among the list of
signatories will be responsible
for implementing
your strategy? Who conceived it?
Who provided
the theoretical research? Who will
constitute
the advisory committee? Please submit an
organization
chart and vitas of the principal
investigators.
9. You must include an
evaluation design. We have been
requiring
this since Queen Anne's War.
10. What impact will your problem
have? Your failure to
include any
assessment of this inspires little
confidence
in the long-range prospects of your
undertaking.
11. Please submit a PERT diagram,
an activity chart,
itemized
budget, and manpower utilization matrix.
We hope that these comments prove
useful in revising
your "Declaration of Independence."
We welcome the
submission of your revised proposal.
Our due date for
unsolicited proposals is July
31, 1776. Ten copies
with original signatures will
be required.
Sincerely,
Management Analyst to the British Crown
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
| Subj:
Homemade Firework (S631b)
From: tom on 2/10/2009 |
 |
This movie on how to make fireworks
is cute and
educational. Click 'HERE'
to see it.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: The
Price They Paid (S74)
Written by Dr. Bob Wells,
Published in the Vallejo Times-Herald on Friday, July 3,1998,
From the Marion Devin column, Typed by AJSwitzer
Have you ever wondered what happened
to those men who signed
the Declaration of Independence?
Five signers were captured
by the British as traitors,
and were tortured before they
died. Twelve had their
homes ransacked and burned. Two lost
their sons in the Revolutionary
Army, another had two sons
captured. Nine of the
fifty-six fought and died from their
wounds or the hardships of the
Revolutionary War.
What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and
jurists, eleven were merchants,
nine were farmers and large
plantation owners, men of means,
well educated, but they
signed the Declaration of Independence
knowing fully well
that the penalty would be death,
if captured. They signed,
and they pledged their lives,
their fortunes and their
sacred honor.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a
wealthy planter and trader,
saw his ships swept from the
seas by the British Navy. He
sold his home and property to
pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded
by the British that he was
forced to move his family almost
constantly. He served in
Congress without pay, and his
family was kept in hiding. His
possessions were taken from
him and poverty was his reward.
Vandals or soldiers, or both,
looted the properties of Ellery,
Clymer, Hall Walton, Gwinnett,
Hayward, Rutledge and Middleton.
At the Battle of Yorktown, Thomas
Nelson Jr. noted that the
British General Cornwallis had
taken over the Nelson home for
his headquarters. The
owner quietly urged General George
Washington to open fire, which
was done. The home was
destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.
Francis Lewis had his home and
properties destroyed. The
enemy jailed his wife, and she
died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his
wife's bedside as she was
dying. Their thirteen
children fled for their lives. His
fields and grist mill were laid
waste. For more than a year
he lived in forests and caves,
returning home after the war
to find his wife dead, his children
vanished. A few weeks
later he died from exhaustion
and a broken heart. Norris
and Livingston suffered similar
fates.
Such were the stories and sacrifices
of the American
Revolution. These were
not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing
ruffians. They were soft-spoken
men of means and education.
They had security but valued
liberty more. Standing tall,
straight and unwavering they
pledged: "For the support of
this declaration, with a firm
reliance on the protection of
the divine providence, we mutually
pledge to each other, our
lives, our fortunes and our
sacred honor." They gave us an
independent America. Can
we keep it?
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Marco
Polo Discovers Fireworks (S127)
From: smiles on 7/5/99
As everyone knows, when Marco
Polo first opened the trade
routes to China, he was quite
impressed with their rockets.
Now, these weren't quite the
fireworks we now know, but
they did shoot into the air,
explode and make some pretty
patterns.
Strangely, no matter where he
went, there were people who
made fireworks, but he had trouble
finding someone to
demonstrate them for him.
"Not here!" they said. ...very confusing.
Until finally, Marco Polo came
upon an ancient military
fortification in Chu' Lai.
Here, fireworks were launched
every night, and he was very
impressed! But still he
wondered, "Why here?"
At the end of every week, people
came from great distances, bringing
their own fireworks
to launch. So Marco Polo
asked his guide why everyone
came here to launch their fireworks.
Marco Polo's guide replied: "Why
honored Sir, we ~always~
set off our fireworks over the
Forts of Chu' Lai"
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================Top
Subj: Short
Fourth Of July Jokes
 |
Subj:
The Flying McCoys Cartoon (S652b)
by Glenn and Gary McCoy From: WashingtonPost.com on 7/3/2009 |
| Subj:
4th of July Idiot Of The Year (S551)
From: rfslick on 8/8/2007 |
 |
 |
Subj:
Lady Liberty Fireworks
From: dmswitzer1325 on 7/3/2004 Writtem by Bill Hysmith |
Only two people signed the Declaration
of Independence on
July 4th, John Hancock and Charles
Thomson. Most of the
rest signed on August 2, but
the last signature wasn't
added until 5 years later.
\\\//
-(o o)-
========================oOO==(_)==OOo=======================
 |
Patriotic smiley from
Smiley_Central |