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>>>
Subj:     Facts1 - True Storys
                 (Includes 189 jokes and articles, 25680n,2,cf,wXT3,2)

Banjo Bear from
PageWorks
Includes the following:  Lockheed During WW2 (S672)
.........................Fun Facts
.........................Other Cute Facts
.........................Life Expectancy Calculator - Program (S590)
.........................Amusing Irrelevant Facts
.........................Phun Phacts
.........................Ponderables
.........................Trippy Trivia
.........................Are You Normal?

Also see ACCIDENTS1   - 'Bizarre Forensic Case'
         ANIMALS-OTHRS- 'The Cost Of Having A Pet Turtle'
......................- 'Activists Against Vegetarianism'
         ARABS file   - 'Two Terrorists Get Visas'
......................- 'bin Laden Quotation'
......................- 'Atomic Bomb In Afghanistan'
......................- 'Bad Reporting In Afghanistan War'
         ARKANSAS     - 'Woman Shot In Car'
         ARAB file    - '15 Schoolgirls Die In Blaze'
         ARTIST file  - 'British Art'
......................- 'Photo Removed From Exhibit'
         ASIA file    - 'Indians Drink "Divine" Sea Water'
......................- 'Elections In India'
......................- 'Shrimp For Japanese Water Plant'
......................- 'Bin Laden Look-A-Like'
         ASIAN-CHINESE- 'Chinese Hiring Practice'
         AUSTRALIAN   - 'Australian Government's Terrorist Kit'
         BALLS file   - 'Man Arrested For Sexual Assault'
......................- 'Wife Rips Out Husbands Ball'
         BANKING file - 'World's Worst Bank Robber'
......................- 'ATM Scam'
         BANKING-SUPP - 'Nobel Peace Prize Winner Brings Hope'
         BARBIE file  - 'Playboy Sells Dolls'
         BASKETBALL   - 'Too Big Of A House Test'
......................- 'The 3 Rs And Basketball'
......................- 'Father Sues High School Basketball Coach'
......................- 'Bidding On Gum'
         BICYCLE file - 'Bike Bombs'
         BIRDS file   - 'Watching Students Like A Hawk'
         BIRDS-CHICKEN- 'FAA Test'
         BIRDS-DUCKS  - 'Two Brain Surgeons Go Duck Hunting'
         BIRTHDAYS    - 'Age Gauge'
......................- 'Banning Birthday Presents'
         BLONDE2 file - 'Extinction Of Blondes'
         BODY-PARTS   - 'Artificial Assholes'
         BREASTS file - 'Metal-Free Bras'
......................- 'Speech By Candidate'
         BUGS_ETC file- 'Female Fireflies'
......................- 'Black Widow Spiders As Pesticide'
......................- '"Crush Freaks" and Porn'
......................- 'Worker Bees Unite'
......................- 'Smoking Scorpions'
......................- 'Woman Fights Cockroach'
         CANADIAN file- 'Identity Thieves Steal House'
         CARS2 file   - 'Scary Car Ride In Mexico'
......................- 'Protester Sits In Street'
......................- 'Granny Stops Car Thieves'
         CARS3 file   - 'Gasoline Prices'
......................- 'Nursery School License Plate'
......................- 'Germans Buy German Cars In USA'
         CATS1 file   - 'Here Kitty, Kitty...Kitty'
         CATS2 file   - 'Fred the cat...'
         CATHOLIC file- 'Glass Confessionals In England'
         CLOTHING file- 'Recipe for washing clothes'
......................- 'Shirt That Never Stinks'
......................- 'Making Your Own Cloths'
         COLLEGE2 file- 'The Class Of 2005'
......................- 'Homespun Couple Visit Harvard President'
         COMPUTERS4   - 'Growth In Sales Of Wyse Computers'
......................- 'Exploding Computers'
         COMPUTERS_SUP- 'Your Computer Could Be Killing You'
......................- 'EMail Spam'
......................- 'Broken Computer'
         CONDOMS file - 'Census Takers Issued Condoms'
         CONTRACTOR   - 'Bull Dosing Crew Knocks Down Wrong House'
         DATING3 file - 'Getting Girls Phone Numbers In England'
         DOCTOR3 file - 'Heart Attacks'
         DOCTOR-SUPP  - 'Laughter Is The Best Medicine'
......................- 'UK Brain Surgeon Suspended'
         DOG3 file    - 'Dog Pee Problems'
         DRINKING_BR2 - 'Opening Beer Bottles w/Your Belly Button'
         EAST EUROPEAN- 'Ukraine Politician Walks Dog'
         ELEPHANT     - 'Elephant Shit Kills Trainer'
         FART file    - 'Fart Artiste'
......................- 'Star Trek's Gaseous Cloud'
......................- 'Device Reduces Flatulence Odor'
         FAT file     - 'New Police Cars For Mexican City'
         FIREMAN file - 'Firemen Practice On Jaws Of Life'
......................- 'Short Firefighter'
......................- 'Seasonal Fireman Needs Money'
         FOOD_ETC file- 'Meat Substitute'
         FOOD_ETC2    - 'Water Or Coke?'
         FOOTBALL file- 'The Stock Boy Falls In Love'
         GAYS file    - 'Are You Gay?'
         GRAVEYARD    - 'What To Do With A Dead Relative'
......................- 'Montana Rancher Dies'
......................- 'Chinese Grave Robbers'
         HALLOWEEN    - 'Drunk In The Pumpkin Patch'
         HANDICAP-SUPP- 'Strongest Dad In The World'
         HOCKEY file  - 'Hockey Killer's Brother'
         HOOKER file  - 'Cheap Hooker Arrested'
......................- 'Cancer Victim Gets Lade'
......................- 'HMO Pays For Sex'
         HOSPITAL2    - '18 Year Old India Girl Has Pain'
......................- 'Organ Donor Fired'
......................- 'Hospital Emergency Room Visits'
......................- 'Emergency Room Stories'
.........HUNTING-CAMP - 'Anti-Gun Control Statistics'
.........ITALIAN file - 'Fathers Must Support Adult Kids'
         JOB-STUFF    - 'The New "Family Pack" Hefty Bags'
         JUDGE file   - 'Murder Responsibility?'
......................- 'UK Wife Files For Divorce'
......................- 'Circumcision Lawsuit'
......................- 'Man Jailed For 15 Years for Bullet'
......................- 'Judge Releases Man From Jail'......................
......................- 'Woman Arrested For Christmas Lights'
......................- 'Court Orders Husband To Do Better In Bed'
......................- 'Judge Earns Bonehead Award'
......................- 'Two Judges Fight'
......................- 'Two Amazing Court Transcripts'
......................- 'Exchanges From Transcripts'
         LATIN_AMERICA- 'Man Robs Buenos Aires Gas Station 100 Times'
......................- 'Brazil's Anti-Smoking Campaign'
.........LIES file    - 'How To Win Arguments'
         MAILMAN file - 'Snail Mail'
         MARRIAGE5    - 'Sex Free Marriage'
         MONKEY file  - 'Monkey Poop Coffee'
         MUSIC file   - 'Paul McCartney Tickets'
......................- 'Britney Spears And Candles'
......................- 'Britney Spears Scares Wild Boars'
         MUSIC-SUPP   - ''Celestial Jukebox' Closer to Earth'
......................- 'CD Copy Protection'
         NATIONAL file- 'The Whole World As 100 People'
         NATIONAL2    - 'The U.S.A. In The Year 1904'
......................- 'A Billion In Perspective...'
         NAT_STATE-SPP- 'Iraq Vs Washington D.C.'
......................- 'Rochester, New York's Slogan'
         NEW_YORKER   - 'Gratitude And Charity'
         NUDIST file  - 'Policeman Breaks Up Women's Party in Israel'
         OTHER_ANIMALS- 'Whale Watching In Australia'
......................- 'Cobra Bites Man And Cobra Dies'
         OTHER-OCCUP  - 'Texas Pharmacy Sells Drugs At Cost'
         OTHER_SPORTS - 'Burning Soccer Fan'
         PATENT file  - 'Two Amazing Website Patents'
......................- 'The Work Of The Invernor'
         PENIS1 file  - 'Canadian Sex Criminals'
         PENIS2 file  - 'Man Has Sex With Pumpkin'
         PENIS3 file  - 'Penis Frozen to Shed'
......................- 'Penis Stuck In Zippers'
......................- 'Breaking Blocks On Your Groin'
......................- 'Dangers Of Being A Flasher'
......................- 'Police Officer's Deadly Shot'
......................- 'Man Cuts Off His Penis'
......................- 'Man Cuts Off His Penis II'
......................- 'Boy Forced To Receive Oral Sex'
         PHONE file   - 'Suing Telemarketers'
         PHYSICS3 file- 'Physics Web Site'
         PIG file     - 'Going To Jail Over Pig Toys'
         PILOT file   - 'Australian Pilot Standards'
         PLANE2 file  - 'Airplane Water'
......................- 'Comments To US Travel Agents'
......................- 'Dumb Airport Security'
         POLICE1 file - 'Do-It-Yourself Brain Surgery?!'
......................- 'FBI Orders Pizza'
         POLICE2 file - 'Speeding Tickets For Cops'
......................- 'Automatic Anthrax Alert'
......................- 'Man In Shootout With Police'
......................- 'Policemen Want Krispy Kreme'
.........POLITICAL2   - 'Jimmy Carter's Pain'
         POLIT-BUSH   - 'Jeb Bush's Letter'
         PREGNANT file- 'Couple Couldn't Have Baby'
......................- 'Baby Sues Over Pregnancy'
......................- 'German Couple Wanted To Have A Baby'
.........PRIEST3 file - 'Seducing Priests'
.........PSYCHOLOGY   - 'Men In Psych Study'
         RUSSIAN file - 'Russian Shuttles Equipped w/Shotguns'
......................- 'Russian Soldier Eats Bed'
......................- 'Russian Bribes'
         SCHOOL3 file - 'Boys Vs Girls In School'
......................- 'Teaching German'
......................- 'A Test Of Courage In School'
......................- 'Teacher Arrested'
......................- 'Illinois Teacher Tests'
         SCHOOL-SUPP  - 'Private California Schools Errors'
         SEX1 file    - 'High Birth Rate'
         SEX2 file    - 'Favorite Color'
         SEX3 file    - 'Animal Sex Facts'
......................- 'Man Carrying Dead Body'
......................- 'Public Sex Statistics'
         SHIPS file   - 'Storing Cannon Balls'
         SKING file   - 'First Date Sking'
         SPERM file   - 'News - Hormones in Semen'
......................- 'New York State County Worker Fired'
         STARTREK_SPC2- 'Armageddon Asteroids'
......................- 'The Seti Project'
......................- 'SpaceWander Round Trip First Class'
......................- 'Invisibility Cloak'
         STORIES file - 'The Ultimate Urbine Legend'
         SWIMMING file- 'Bad Day At The Office'
         TATOO file   - 'Penis Tattooed For Profit'
         THOUGHTS-KIDS- 'The Failure List II' - Movie
         THOUGHTS LND2- 'How To Survive A Heart Attack Alone' in NonJokes
         TRAIN file   - 'Heart Attack On A Train'
......................- 'Hiding In The Train Bathroom'
......................- 'Boy Sues Rail Authority'
.........TREES file   - 'Burning Your Mail'
......................- 'Gang Holds Trees Hostage'
         WAITER-Waitrs- 'Waitress Sued Hooters Restaurant'
......................- 'Stockholm Restraunt's Toilet Seats'
         WEDDING file - 'The Groom Who Drooled'
         WOMEN3 file  - 'Attractive Woman Formula'
.
============================================================Top
Subj:     Lockheed During WW2 (S672)
          From: ft.apache on 11/20/2009
 Source: http://thinkorthwim.com/2007/08/19/1034/
.
......
.
......During World War II the Army Corps of Engineers
......needed to hide the Lockheed Burbank Aircraft Plant
......to protect it from a Japanese air attack.  They
......covered it with camouflage netting and trompe
......l'oeil to make it look like a rural subdivision.
......Click 'HERE' to see these interesting, nine pictures.

Top
Subj:     Fun Facts

 Rene Descartes came up with the theory of coordinate geometry
 by looking at a fly walk across a tiled ceiling.

 If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front
 legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has
 one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of
 wounds recieved in battle; if the horse has all four legs on
 the ground, the person died of natural causes.

 Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

 The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English
 law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with
 anything wider than your thumb.

 Ballroom dancing is a major at Brigham Young University.

 Some biblical scholars believe that Aramaic (the language
 of the ancient Bible) did not contain an easy way to say
 "many things" and used a term which has come down to us as
 40.  This means that when the bible -- in many places --
 refers to "40 days," they meant many days.

 No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,
 silver, and purple.

 Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted
 people without killing them used to burn their houses down
 - hence the expression "to get fired."

 Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".

 There are two credit cards for every person in the United
 States.

 Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on
 July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.  Most of the
 rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't
 added until 5 years later.

 "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English
  language.

 The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots
 in the South Pacific.  When arming their airplanes on the
 ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured
 exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage.
 If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got
 "the whole 9 yards."

 The original story from Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights
 begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy."

 The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

 Captain Jean-Luc Picard's fish was named Livingston.

 The 'y' in signs reading "ye olde.."  is properly
 pronounced with a 'th' sound, not 'y'.  The "th" sound
 does not exist in Latin, so ancient Roman occupied
 (present day) England used the rune "thorn" to represent
 "th" sounds. With the advent of the printing press the
 character from the Roman alphabet which closest resembled
 thorn was the lower case "y".

 The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."

 The international telphone dialing code for Antarctica
 is 672.

 The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

 The little bags of netting for gas lanterns (called
 'mantles') are radioactive--so much so that they will set
 off an alarm at a nuclear reactor.

 Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots

 Each unit on the Richter Scale is equivalent to a power
 factor of about 32. So a 6 is 32 times more powerful than
 a 5!  Though it goes to 10, 9 is estimated to be the point
 of total tetonic destruction (2 is the smallest that can
 be felt unaided.)

 Cinderella's slippers were originally made out of fur.  The
 story was changed in the 1600s by a translator.
 It was the left shoe that Aschenputtel (Cinderella) lost at
 the stairway, when the prince tried to follow her.

 Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads
 in Sweden.  The conversion to right-hand was done on a week-
 day at 5pm.  All traffic stopped as people switched sides.
 This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where
 drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too
 sleepy to realize *this* was the day of the changeover.

 Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

 The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during
 World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

 Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with
 "rejoice."

 In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it again,
 Sam."  Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear
 Watson."  Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up, Scotty,"
 but he did say, "Beam me up, Mr. Scott".

 Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are
 registered blood donors.

 More people are killed annually by donkeys than die
 in air crashes.

 The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named
 after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank
 Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"

 The flag of the Philippines is the only national flag that
 is flown differently during times of peace or war.  A
 portion of the flag is blue, while the other is red.  The
 blue portion is flown on top in time of peace and the red
 portion is flown in war time.

 Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves
 when they rode past their king.  This custom has become the
 modern military salute.

 The "huddle" in football was formed due a deaf football
 player who used sign language to communicate and his team
 didn't want the opposition to see the signals he used and
 in turn huddled around him.

 Goethe couldn't stand the sound of barking dogs and could
 only write if he had an apple rotting in the drawer of his
 desk.

 If you are locked in a completely sealed room, you will
 die of carbon dioxide poisoning first before you will die
 of oxygen deprivation.

 Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has
 been hit by a lightning strike.

 The term, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an
 eye" is from Ancient Rome.  The only rule during wrestling
 matches was, "No eye gouging."  Everything else was allowed,
 but the only way to be disqualified is to poke someone's
 eye out.

 Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

 Sir Isaac Newton was an ordained priest in the
 Church of England.

 A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th
 of a second.

 The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

 Certain frogs can be frozen solid then thawed,
 and continue living.

 The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after
 Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth.

 Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that
 makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

 Steve Young, the San Francisco 49ers quarterback, is the
 great-great-grandson of Mormon leader Brigham Young.

 Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of linen.

 Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10
 of a calorie.

Top
Subj:    Other Cute Facts
         From: Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97

 An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.

 The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

 Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.

 Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

 February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not
 to have a full moon.

 Columbia University is the second largest landowner in
 New York City, after the Catholic Church.

 The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the
 lowest point in Colorado.

 In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was
 burnt down but only 6 people were injured.

 Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.

 One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today because
 cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers
 -- they saw it as competition.  It is not chemically
 addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

 Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

 The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan".

From: igiggle on 11/6/2005 (S459b)
 10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive
 at this very moment.

Top
Subj:     Life Expectancy Calculator (S590)
          By Peter Russell
          From: edapsmas on 5/8/2008
 Drawing from Scribbles Embroderied Designs
 Source: http://www.peterrussell.com/Odds/VirtualAge.php

 This program will calculate your life Expectancy.  You
 can try this cute software by clicking 'HERE'.

Top
Subj:     Amusing Irrelevant Facts (S43)
          From: Daemonic Funnies Page

 *The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age.
     Its name was Fred.
 *There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo.
 *Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during WWI.
 *Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine.
     His parents thought he might be retarded.
 *In 1983, a Japanese artist made a copy of the Mona Lisa
     completely out of toast.
 *In 1984, a Canadian farmer began renting ad space on his cows.
 *An average person laughs about 15 times a day.
 *The average person is about a quarter of an
     inch taller at night.
 *The condom - made originally of linen - was invented
     in the early 1500s.
 *The first-known contraceptive was crocodile dung,
     used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.
 *America's first nudist organization was founded
     in 1929, by 3 men.
 *A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if
     her husband doesn't give her coffee.
 *The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.
 *The average bank teller loses about $250 every year.
 *Every person has a unique tongue print.
 *Women's hearts beat faster than men's.
 *Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.
 *Most American car horns honk in the key of F.
 *About 70% of Americans who go to college do it just
     to make more money.  [The rest of us are avoiding
     reality for four more years.]
 *Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.
 *Most lipstick contains fish scales.
 *Hypnotism is banned by public schools in San Diego.
 *The three best-known western names in China: Jesus Christ,
     Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.
 *27% of U.S. male college students believe life is
     "a meaningless existential hell."
 *Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
 *"Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.

Top
Subj:     Phun Phacts
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-03-26

 * The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile
   in every five must be straight.  These straight sections
   are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

 * The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue,
   Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world
   where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car
   driving under an airplane.

 * Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose
   and ears never stop growing.

 * David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star
   Wars.  He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that
   he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until
   he saw the screening of the movie.

 * In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

 * Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without
   a McDonalds.

 * The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many
   bathrooms as is necessary.  When it was built in the 1940s,
   the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring
   separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

 * The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six
   inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

 * Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every
   Dewey-decimal category.

 * Cat's urine glows under a black light.

 * Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer
   wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it
   could run Microsoft's Flight
   Simulator.

 * The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

 * Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

 * It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni,
   and about a gallon to clean the pot.

 * In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been
   domesticated.

 * Babies are born without knee caps.  They don't appear
   until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.

 * Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously

 * If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies,
   you have $1.19.  You also have the largest amount of
   money in coins without being able to make change for a
   dollar.  (This would make a GREAT math brain teaser!)

 * Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than
   all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
   (How much did you pay for those new sneakers??)

 * No NFL team which plays it's home games in a domed
   stadium has ever won a Superbowl

 * The only two days of the year in which there are no
   professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are
   the day before and the day after the Major League All-
   Star Game.

 And, last but certainly not least...

 * The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave
   It To Beaver".

Top
Subj:     Ponderables
          From: TNKRTEACH on 97-06-20

 A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

 In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to
 mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance)
 but did not renumber the other channel assignments.  That
 is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.

 The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk,
 with the shutter on backwards.

 The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different
 ways.  The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-
 coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through
 the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough,
 he coughed and hiccoughed."

 The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two
 synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

 The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without
 repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

 Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the
 correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing
 arsenic."

 Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the
 Australian coat of arms for that reason.

 Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only
 have about ten.

 The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase
 "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead".

 Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."

 Camel's milk does not curdle.

 In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

 An animal epidemic is called an epizootic.

 Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used
 to clean elephants.

 The United States has never lost a war in which mules
 were used.

 Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially
 for Ronald Reagan.

 All porcupines float in water.

 Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio.

 Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?

 Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by
 an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's
 Wild Kingdom."

 Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

 If you bring a raccoon's head to the Henniker, New
 Hampshire town hall, you are entitled to receive
 $.10 from the town.

 The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from
 the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses.
 The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured
 out how to walk up straight staircases.

 Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

 The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie."
 (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

 Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly it
 s state flag at the same height as the U.S. flag.

 The only nation who's name begins with an "A", but
 doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.

 Pamela Anderson Lee is Canada's Centennial Baby, being
 the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of
 Canada's independence.

 When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing."
 They actually pass out from sheer terror.

 The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch
 every year because when it was built, engineers failed to
 take into account the weight of all the books that would
 occupy the building.  (But you'd think that all the light-
 weights and airheads that "study" there would balance that
 out.)

Top
Subj:     Trippy Trivia (S34)
          From: Daemonic Funnies Page

 Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora
    la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula."
 If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die;
    they need gravity to swallow.
 Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball.
 If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads
    5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs
    more, so it ends up on the bottom.
 The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
 If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean,
    the horizon will be about three statute miles away.
 The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford
    English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
    The only other word with the same amount of letters is
    pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.
    Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones
    are the largest anagrams.
 Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older
 An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
 The band Duran Duran got their name from an astronaut in the 1968
    Jane Fonda movie "Barbarella."
 Cleo and Caesar were the early stage names
    of Cher and Sonny Bono.
 Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to
    local pig farmers to use as feed.  Pigs love the stuff,
    except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.
 The company providing the liability insurance for the
    Republican National Convention in San Diego is the same
    firm that insured the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic.
 Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
 Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the physician who set the leg of
    Lincoln's assassin John Wilkes Booth...and whose shame
    created the expression for ignominy, "His name is Mudd."
 The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
 The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during
    World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
 Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and
    Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
 A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
 The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh
    Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.
 Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are
    registered blood donors.
 The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named
    after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank
    Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life".
 It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw
    up.  The frog throws up its stomach first, so the
    stomach is dangling out of its mouth.  Then the frog
    uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's
    contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

>>>>>>>>>>>>(s edited to here)<<<<<<<<<<<<<

 White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith
    (Formerly of the Monkees)
 Sylvia Miles had the shortest performance ever nominated
    for an Oscar with "Midnight Cowboy."  Her entire role
    lasted only six minutes.
 Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on
    his famous transatlantic flight.
 Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was
    only used once, on the never-aired pilot show.  His
    first name was Willy.  The skipper's real name on
    Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby.  It was mentioned
    once in the first episode on their radio's newscast
    about the wreck.
 In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed
    to speak.
 Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII.
    If captured, they could be soaked in water and
    unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
 The "L.L." in L.L. Bean stands for Leon Leonwood.
 Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake.  They had been
    overmixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles
    that made it float.  Customers wrote and told how much
    they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
 Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a
    building it has about thirty percent less chance of
    surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor.
    It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to
    realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.
 The saying "it's so cold out there it could freeze the
    balls off a brass monkey" came from when they had old
    cannons like ones used in the Civil War.  The cannon-
    balls were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a
    brass monkey.  When it got extremely cold outside they
    would crack and break off...Thus the saying.
 Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two
    weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
 A walla-walla scene is one where extras pretend to be
    talking in the background -- when they say "walla-walla"
    it looks like they are actually talking.
 The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English
    law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with
    anything wider than your thumb.
 101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two
    Disney cartoon features with both parents that are
    present and don't die throughout the movie.
 'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only
    the left hand.
 A whale's penis is called a dork.
 Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always
    all the same sex.
 Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can
    get leprosy.
 To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs
    into its eyeballs -- it will let you go instantly.

Top
Subj:     Are You Normal?
          From: Scott's Joke Archive 0n 5/31/97

 (Facts about Americans. Did you know that...)

 Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
 21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
 Men do 29% of laundry each week.  Only 7% of women trust
    their husbands to do it correctly.
 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
 85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear.
 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).
 The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago
    it was a 34B
 85% of women wear the wrong bra size.
 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order
    with singles leading up to higher denominations.
 13% of us admit to occassionally doing our
    offspring's homework.
 91% of us lie regularly.
 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.
 29% admit they've intentionally stolen something
    from a store.
 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters
    to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
 90% believe in divine retribution.
 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
 82% believe in an afterlife.
 45% believe in ghosts.
 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
 29% of us are virgins when we marry.
 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.
 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.
 Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child
    over 2 years old.
 35% give to charity at least once a month.
 How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon
    their friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.
 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
 When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight
    from the carton.
 85% of us will eat Spam this year.
 70% of us drink orange juice daily.
 Snickers is the most popular candy.
 22% of us skip lunch daily.
 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
 66% of us eat cereal regularly.
 22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.
 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.
 Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
 45% use mouthwash every day.
 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
 The typical shower is 101 degrees F.
 Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
 62% of us pop our zits.
 33% of women lie about their weight.
 10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.
 57% have had deja vu. 49% believe in ESP.
 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.
 The average girl starts her period at age 12.
 44% have broken a bone.
 Only 30% of us know our cholesterol level.
 14% have attended a self-help meeting.
 15% regularly go to a shrink.
 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down
    after they've used the toilet.
 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
 23.5% admit they don't always flush.
 45.2% pee in the shower.
 44.9% pee in the ocean.
 28.1% pee in the pool.
 55.2% will let someone else come in the bathroom while
    they're on the toilet.
 39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet. 17% have
    been caught by the host.
 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants.
 29% of us ignore RSVP.
 71.6% of us eavesdrop.
 22% are functionally illiterate.
 Less than 10% are trilingual.
 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
 2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for
    a night for a million bucks.
 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.
 40% of us have had music lessons.
 44% reuse tinfoil.
 57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.
 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and
    taken credit for doing it fromscratch.
 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary
    (mostly men)
 59% of us say we're average-looking.
 Blacks are more than twice as likely to call
    themselves beautiful.
 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.
 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
 On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.
 2 out of 5 have married their first love.
 The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.
 Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.
 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
 6% propose over the phone.
 71% can drive a stick-shift car.
 45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit.
 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.  1/3 of us
    don't wear seat belts.
 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.
 25% of us drive after we've been drinking.
 4 out of 5 sing in the car.
 The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes.
 Men say the average erect penis is 10". Women say it's 4".
 56% of men have had sex at work.
 1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair.
 62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs.
 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.
 The most common fantasy is oral sex.
 Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.
 8% of us have regular anal sex.
 58% like dirty talk during sex.
 22% rent porno flicks at least once.

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............................From Smiley_Central
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